


The Moon wants to shine but the Sun is too bright

by Realitysucks



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Alec, Bromance, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Malec, Malec Smut, Malec forever, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 306,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6305587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Realitysucks/pseuds/Realitysucks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>''I don't like it,'' said Magnus.</p><p>Alec looked at him perplexed.</p><p>"You don't like what?''</p><p>“I don't like people touching my things!” he answered angrily.</p><p>Alec frowned, did someone touch Chairman Meow? He didn't notice the glint of possessiveness in Magnus’ eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The contract

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there !!
> 
> Firstly, I swear my loyalty to Malec forever and ever !  
> Secondly, I'm not an English folk, so please, be kind ! Feel free to tell me if there're any mistakes ! Don't hesitate to left kudos and comments !  
> Thirdly, enjoy !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there !!
> 
> Firstly, I swear my loyalty to Malec forever and ever !  
> Secondly, I'm not an English folk, so please, be kind ! Feel free to tell me if there're any mistakes ! Don't hesitate to left kudos and comments !  
> Thirdly, enjoy !

“I know what you are!” said his father spat.

Alec froze in muted anticipation, feeling the storm coming. Why else would his father take him to such a prestigious restaurant?  Of course, it was to criticize and humiliate him. His father knew he wouldn’t dare to cause a scene.

Short of breath and shoulders hunched, Alec looked at him with a worried gaze.

“What I am?” he managed to say in a shaky voice, his nervous fingers fiddling around with the faded sleeves of his sweater.

If he had known, he would have dressed better in order not to look like such an immature teenager, even if in his opinion he _was_ one. Uncomfortable, Alec contracted more into himself

The gaze of his father hardened and the contemptuous face he knew so well appeared.

“You're gay,” Robert hissed.

Alec felt like a poisonous arrow had shot him through the heart. How did he know? What did he know? A cold sensation invaded his body. He wanted to deny it, to organize his thoughts but his father's gaze stopped him.

“How do you know?”

“You're my son, did you seriously think I didn't notice? If only you could look at yourself when you're watching Jace!” Robert snorted, repulsion and disdain plain on his face.

Alec had never thought of himself as a monster or an abomination but now, looking at the disgust of his father’s face, he was seriously beginning to believe that he was. The poison his father spat had spread.

Alec was struggling to breathe, his body going hot and then suddenly cold. He couldn’t think, his heart pounded loudly in his ears. If he could, he would have vanished.

“We shouldn't have adopt him...he made you gay!”

 _Jace didn't do anything,_ Alec wanted to say. He wanted to defend his brother, but he couldn't. Nobody knew he was gay, no one. Not even Izzy. However, if his father knew, it meant he was probably not the only one.

Alec suddenly wished to be swallowed by some random monster or alien, and to disappear forever.

“Alexander.”

The thing Alec hated most in the world was his full name in his father's mouth.

“Nobody knows, right? You didn't tell anyone, right?”

Alec shook his head. He’d never told a soul, and at this rate he never would. He was too ashamed to be what he was.

“Perfect.”

Under the incredulous eyes of his eldest son, Robert Lightwood took out a small stack of papers and a pen from his jacket and handed it to him.

“What is this?” Alec asked, fully knowing what he was holding. It was a contract and it was not his first time seeing one.

How many times had he seen his father sign contracts? _Now it's my turn_ , he thought bitterly.

The contract had several pages and the text was so compact that Alec anxiously stared at it, the piece of paper titled: TO BE A GOOD SON.

 _To be a good son? Had he not been a good son so far? Had he not done every single thing his parents ever asked him to do?_ His vision clouded but Alec blinked, forcing it away.

"This contract states that you will inherit my business _if_ you behave well and by behaving well, I mean don't be an abomination!"

Alec could no longer feel the pain of his father's words. He was too shocked, too surprised. In that moment he felt utterly destroyed.

"You are my eldest son, I won't tolerate any misbehavior, otherwise... I will disinherit Isabelle and Jace."

Alec sharply looked up, seeing the satisfied look on his father face for having sparked a reaction. Robert Lightwood knew perfectly well that family came first for Alec.

"Why?" he whispered.

"You know -like me- that you are by far the most competent one to run the family business. In all honesty, I first thought about disinheriting you, but you’re my eldest son and your siblings are only thinking about the next party they’re going to attend. It’s a bit disappointing that the family embarrassment seems to be the only one with any work ethic,” he said angrily

Alec frowned, wanting to deny that he was better than Izzy and Jace. In reality, it was quite the opposite, he didn't have their baffling ability for learning things without any effort. He was the one who was not competent. Whether in everyday life, friends (who were non-existent), homework, everything took effort. As for parties, he was only ever invited thanks to his amazing siblings and because everyone knew, he was there to ensure the evening ended well.

"And mom?”

"You perfectly know what your mother is thinking.”

_Yeah, I know._

Alec looked down at the contract. It was quite simple. If he wanted to be a good son, he only had to follow what was written: _forbidden for him to be gay or act on any such impulses, attend the university of his father’s choosing, obey any and all orders from his father in the future, inherit the company, and to live for the company..._

Alec snorted. _Oh, is that all?_ he thought bitterly.  

He had to live for Idris from now on. He continued reading, searching for the terms concerning his siblings. It was written in black and white that if Alexander Gideon Lightwood fulfilled his duties as the eldest son, Izzy, Jace and Max would live as happily as a life could be lived.

 _It seems a good deal for me,_ he thought.

“You're blackmailing me you know?” Alec stated, eyes not leaving the contract.

He was fiercely loyal and cared about his siblings much more than he did himself.  Robert Lightwood knew this all too well. Alec was honest to a fault, and his father knew that if he signed, he would respect any terms.

Finally, Alec met his father’s gaze. "Izzy is your daughter, Jace was the son of a friend of yours, one of your best friends, and Max...well Max is Max...You’re saying you’ll disinherit them because of me?”

"In order to put my first born on the right path?-Yes," he answered without hesitation.

"Don't you love them?” - _Don't you love me?_

Robert didn't answer.

“Your future is mine; this is not only for your own good, but also for your siblings. It’s for everyone in the family and...to make sure that Izzy and Jace won't become more troublesome than they already are.”

“Otherwise?”

“You're the big brother, the reliable one, right?”

“That’s the role you and mom gave me.”

“Then play the role we gave you Alexander. Play-it-well.”

Alec had played this role his entire life; he didn't need a stupid contract to remind him. He initialed each page. When his eyes fell on the _‘you must not be gay’_ clause, he clenched his jaw and swore to himself that he would do everything in his power not to be. He was too ashamed and too horrified at the idea of being gay.

He signed, his father doing the same on the part where he pledged to let Isabelle, Jace and even Max quietly live their lives without any family obligations, and without any troubles. While signing, Alec said farewell to himself, and to his dreams of literature and foreign languages, but family was important, right? He still had a family and it was the most important thing in the world to him.

"I'll send you a copy," his father said in a satisfied voice.

Alec nodded. He didn't eat anything on his plate, but Robert didn't have any problem and happily continued eating.

With unfocused eyes, the eighteen-year-old boy cursed inwardly. If he had been more courageous, he would have told his father ‘ _fuck you, you and your company’._ He would have told him that ‘ _he was what he was and that he was proud of it’._

If he’d been more courageous, he wouldn't have let his father control his destiny, nor Izzy's, Jace's or Max's.

If he had been more courageous, he would have given up his own comfort in order to be himself. However, if it meant not having a family…then Alec was willing to be a coward.

He would rather be a coward if it guaranteed the happiness of his family.

 

**5 years later**

Alec came back home, exhausted. He didn't even know how he’d managed to ride the subway in his state. The thought of curling up in his bed with a good book had certainly motivated him more than he could believe. In Idris, Alec was an employee like anyone else. However, everyone knew who his father was, and everyone knew how a man as young as him had managed to acquire such an important position at the company. Especially since he didn’t have the experience, or skills needed for the job.

Robert Lightwood didn't seem to realize that if Alec became CEO, he would end up running his precious company into the ground. Alec shrugged; his father would see soon enough that he was not made for this. And yet, he still worked his butt off every day. He fulfilled all of his duties and so did Robert. His life wasn’t so bad in his opinion. He had a nice flat, a well-stocked library, and a good salary.

 _Yeah my life is not so bad,_ this was his daily mantra. He’d repeat it over and over in his head trying to convince himself. He didn't know if he was really happy but he hoped that all the sacrifices he was making now would turn into a capital which would defer to his next life if he reincarnated. _I hope I’ll be an otter, a hedgehog or a turtle but not a human being. Because being human sucks most of the time,_ he thought, putting the key in the lock. He had wrestled enough in this lifetime and sincerely hoped that if he was reincarnated he would have better karma in his next life.

He decided to wind down with his copy of The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Stars, but soon his eyes began to drift close. Suddenly, he heard what sounded like someone knocking at the door. Alec frowned and looked at his phone. If it was Max, he would have contacted him before coming over. As he contemplated this, the knocks became more insistent. He sighed realizing that there was only one person who would knock on his door that way. Izzy.

Alec, sighing, put down the book and went to open the door.

“I need to take a shower, move!” Izzy stated, pushing herself past Alec and into his apartment.

Even if it was Alec who owned the place, he always seemed to do what his sister ordered. She was wearing yoga pants and a cropped sports top, which revealed her flat and toned stomach.

“So now it's yoga?” Alec asked, giving her a towel, “What about dance? You loved dancing, right?”

She gave a dazzling smile. “I'm doing both since the teacher is hot as hell!”

Alec silently looked at his little sister as she entered the bathroom. He had trouble following her constantly changing love life, even though it wasn’t about love most of the time. He assumed it was over with the tattoo artist she had been seeing.

He settled back on the couch and picked up his book. Alec didn't know if Izzy had purposely chosen the dance academy next door so she could show up unexpectedly whenever she wanted, but that seemed to be the obvious reason. He was just happy that Jace wasn’t doing the same thing.

Izzy came out the bathroom dressed in new and slightly more revealing attire. She was holding a compact mirror and applying make-up.

Alec narrowed his eyes.

“Magnus...party of the year,” she tried to explain, putting on a blood red lipstick.

“It's always the party of the year with Magnus.”

Izzy grinned. “You're coming of course.”

“No.”

“Alec! Who'll look after me and Jace when we’re too drunk to remember who we are?”

“Right,” he nodded sarcastically.

“Please Alec, I had a tough week between classes and...”

Alec snorted, _really?_

Izzy gave him a dirty look. “You're coming. Jace and me, we want you to have fun with us, got it? So, you're coming, even if you don't want to. And, please, don't make me dress you!”

They stared at each other for a long time before Alec finally surrendered. He groaned, putting his book down and went to change in his room.

_And if I don't want to have fun?_

In reality, it wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ to have fun, but more that he couldn't at Magnus' parties. Most of the time, Alec felt out of place in social situations. He was regularly left wishing that he was invisible so he didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness and the anxiety that they often caused.  But parties, especially Magnus’, were way worse.  

Magnus was the kind of person that Alec would never normally socialize with. They weren’t friends, they were barely even acquaintances. Izzy and Jace however, were members of the “circle”, a group of “privileged” friends who seemed to gravitate around Magnus.

Embarrassed, Alec suddenly remembered the first time he met Magnus.

**Two years ago**

The only time Alec had lied to get out of going to a party- to read a book quietly after a week of fairly intense exams- the party had turned into a disaster.

Alec had received an incomprehensible message from Jace where the only intelligible word was ‘trouble’. Alec concluded that if Jace was too drunk to send a coherent text, Izzy’s state of mind was certainly no better. With a frustrated groan, Alec stood up and threw a quick glance at the piece of paper Izzy and Jace had left at his place earlier that night. He’d have to get them from the home of someone named ‘Magnus Bane’. He plugged the address into his phone and set out to get them.

This ‘Magnus Bane’ lived in a fashionable neighborhood and certainly seemed to lead a comfortable life. As Alec approached the front door of the complex, he saw that he didn't need to press the intercom as the doors were already half-opened. Entering the building, he saw that the elevator was clearly out of order, letting out an agitated groan, he turned to the stairwell and began his climb to the 8th floor.

Once he made it to the right floor, he located the door to Magnus’ apartment. He was surprised to find this door to be cracked open as well, but more than that he was shocked at the lack of noise. It was completely silent and that wasn’t at all normal. Cautiously, he opened the door and his eyes widened in shock. The party had clearly gotten out of hand. How else could you explain the state of the place? There was stuff everywhere.

Alec couldn't help wincing; Magnus Bane would need a small fortune to clean up and redecorate. Feeling a little guilty for being there uninvited, he did his best not to step on anything and cause even more damage. As he ventured further inside, he didn’t see anyone. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled to Jace’s name-

“Who are you?”

Alec jumped and looked up. The man who’d startled him was standing near what had previously been a sofa. He was tall and in his arms sat a cat, purring like a small motor. Alec approached the man slowly…he’d never seen anyone like him.

He was handsome, very handsome. Obviously, genetics had been very generous. The man had prominent Asian features, and though there wasn’t much light Alec noticed how his skin glowed, especially the tops of his cheekbones. This accentuated the mischievous look in his amazing eyes, the color oscillating between yellow and green. Alec noted with amusement that the man and his cat had similar eyes. He had amazing style, as attested by his outfit, hairstyle and makeup.

Alec feeling slightly intimidated, cleared his throat. "Sorry for intruding, the door was open. I’m here to get Izzy and Jace Lightwood".

The man approached him, still stroking his cat with a hand decorated with a wide variety of jewelry and fingers painted with blue glittery nail polish. A shade that Alec was pretty sure Izzy also owned.

Alec's blue eyes lifted to meet the unique eyes of the man, finding that he was being studied with curiosity.

“Do you know who they are?” Alec asked uncertainly.

The man snorted. “I know perfectly well who they are. I know everyone who attends my parties,” he stated bluntly.

“So you're Magnus Bane?” Alec said in astonishment. The man didn't correspond at all to the mental picture he’d made on his way over.

“In the flesh. So who are you? You didn't answer me earlier.''

 _Right._ “I'm Izzy and Jace's big brother,” he answered simply.

Magnus didn't hide his surprise, his eyebrows rising as his gaze became more intense. He seemed to be trying to find some type of resemblance.

Alec knew perfectly well what Magnus Bane was thinking. How could a goof like him be related to people as cool as Jace and Izzy?

Alec was used to it. He knew he was nothing like his amazing siblings; it didn't matter anymore for him.

“They passed out in the bathroom with the others”, Magnus muttered pensively.

“Oh, so there’s still people here?”

Alec felt obligated to justify himself when he saw the look on Magnus' face. “I mean-with this mess, the silence and everything… I thought that everyone had left.''

“It's just they're no longer conscious and the party is over! - It means my party was a great success”, Magnus told him with a light tone. “Except-” he hissed coldly, “-the part where they destroyed everything”.

Alec discreetly glanced around at the destroyed apartment, and thought… they didn't have the same definition of a great party. Taking one last skeptical look at Magnus, Alec went to the bathroom.

Izzy was curled up in the bathtub whereas Jace was perched on ‘the throne’, holding his head in his hands. Alec sighed and carefully crossed the ground covered with sleeping people. _Thank God, he still has his pants on,_ he thought. He began lightly shaking Izzy, but she didn’t budge. Jace took that opportunity to pass out and join the pile of people on the floor. Alec sighed. How the hell would he be able to get them both down the stairs? Usually he carried the most wasted one of the two on his back, but currently-

He ran a hand through his hair, feeling discouraged.

“By the way, what's your name?”

Alec turned around to see Magnus, who was casually leaning against the doorframe and casting a disapproving look towards the people passed out on his floor.

“Alec.”

“For Alexander?”

“Just Alec.”

Magnus offered him his most dazzling smile. “How about a cup of coffee Alexander? Just to give them a little time to sober up?”

Alec narrowed his eyes but finally accepted.

Waiting for Izzy and Jace to recover enough to go back with him, they drank their coffee and Alec helped Magnus put back some furniture that had been overturned.

“So, you're saying it's your fault that they're in this state?” Magnus asked.

“Not exactly, but usually if I'm here it doesn’t get this bad,'' Alec confessed, picking a feathers of a ripped cushion.

“And why were you not here Alexander?”

“I don't like parties that much,” he confessed.

“That's because you've never been to one of my parties,” Magnus claimed proudly.

Before Alec could reply, someone jumped on his back. Startled, Alec looked over his shoulder at his assailant.

“Alec I'm cold, let's go back”, Izzy whined, shivering and struggling against sleep.

“Don't you have a jacket or something?” he asked.

“She doesn't, but she did have a bag,” Magnus said, looking around for it.

“Izzy...” Alec sighed, noticing the goose bumps on his sister's bare-arms.

Setting her down, he raised his arms and took off his sweater. Handing it to her, she took the opportunity to place her cold hands on his bare belly.

“Izzy wait!” he hissed.

Izzy giggled, grabbed the sweater, and pulled it over her head. She then began climbing on his back like a koala who’d found its tree. “Better,” she muttered into his ear. It was only after she’d settled again that Alec noticed Magnus, watching them with amusement.

“We're going home”, Alec grumbled.

“What about Jace?” Magnus asked, face full of false worry.

“He'll follow, he's like a sheep, he doesn't ask questions and just follows when he’s drank too much,” Alec explained.

Magnus' eyes shone with a mischievous sparkle. “You’re so used to it…You must be a great shepherd.”

“Yeah kind of, it's more that I’m an expert in herding drunk Jace and Izzy.”

Magnus chuckled, and the ‘sheep’ appeared, haggard and not knowing where he was, but still managing to point a finger at Alec.

“I wanted to get on your back!” Jace shouted, approaching with unsteady steps.

“Izzy was first.”

“Next time,” smirked Magnus.

Jace frowned, clearly not happy and grabbed at Alec, ready to make Izzy fall from her perch. “I always knew it was her, she’s the favorite-” he whined.

Alec frowned, torn between laughter and worry.

“It's because I'm adopted!” Jace continued, causing Alec to roll his eyes and force him to meet his gaze.

“She was first”, he explained in a quiet voice. “Besides you still have more balance than her”.

“Right!” Jace agreed quickly, seeming pleased.

“That's because you don't wear high heels,” muttered Magnus.

Alec gave him an amused look and started walking towards the door. “We're going now. Thank you and…sorry,” he apologized awkwardly.

Magnus snorted and accompanied them to the front door.

Without looking at Magnus, Jace went out first and leaned his head against the elevator doors.

“You'll be fine?” Magnus asked, looking casually at his nails.

“Yeah I'm used to it”.

Magnus smiled and grabbed Alec's arm before he could leave.

“Feel free to accompany them next time since you can “tame” them so well and all. But-”, Magnus added with a glittery wink, “-you can come for some fun too if you like.”

Alec was surprised and didn't answer right away, throwing a skeptical look at Magnus over his shoulder before he shrugged. The move caused Izzy to tighten her grip around his neck and whispered something inaudible against his neck.

“See you next time Alexander!” Magnus snorted, closing the door as they got to the stairs.

*

After all this time, Alec was still not used to Magnus Bane or his parties and still didn’t find them that fun. Magnus' parties were a lot like him: eccentric, crazy, and downright sinful. Not to mention that every party seemed to be “the party of the year” to Magnus. He had attended several of his parties since they met, but they still weren’t more than acquaintances. Alec didn't even have his number since Jace and Izzy were the intermediaries for his parties.

He never knew how to dress up. For him, clothes just had to be comfortable and simple. They were often black, since he liked the color and it seemed to help him blend more into the background. He took one last look in the mirror and had to make an effort not to wince. His blue eyes and pale skin stood out in a disturbing way. _It doesn't matter anyway...It's not as if I'm trying to pick someone up_. He shrugged.

“Alec, you ready yet? Jace is waiting. I can’t believe I got ready faster than you!”

Alec sighed and went to join Izzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Thanks to thunder28 this chapter is way better !
> 
> [and to Murdermepink <3]


	2. The Glittery One

Jace was waiting for them just inside Magnus’ building. He stood in front of the elevator that was actually working for once, and gave Alec an once-over. “Seriously Alec?” laughed Jace motioning to his outfit.

Alec looked at him with a dark glare. As the elevator rose to the 8th floor, Izzy straightened her dress in front of the mirrored interior and hummed an upbeat sounding tune.

“I don't know about you guys, but tonight will be different. I’m not going home with anyone,” she said looking at her big brother with the most innocent expression she could muster.

Alec nodded and turned to stare at Jace with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, I'm an adult. I’m not saying I’m planning on it, but I’m not making any promises!”

Izzy smirked. “That’s probably a good idea. You'll be too drunk to obey your brain; you'll just follow your d...”

“Guys,” Alec interrupted. “Look Jace, I honestly don’t care what you do. But it would simplify my life immensely if you didn’t do anything stupid tonight.”

Jace snorted. Izzy and Alec’s gazes didn’t falter. “It's my body, I do what I want with _my_ body. Besides, how can I deny the ladies all of this?” Jace stated with a wicked grin. As if on cue the elevator _dinged._

The elevator doors opened, Alec sighed and rolled his eyes at his brother. As they walked towards Magnus’ apartment, Alec wondered how Magnus got away with throwing so many parties. _Didn’t his neighbors care?_ His thoughts were interrupted by the apartment door opening. Catarina was on the other side and she greeted them with a big smile.

“The hunt is on!” shouted Jace, disappearing into the crowd.

Alec couldn't help but smile when he saw Magnus' hypnotizing eyes focused on Izzy and Jace with a glint of _don't ruin my party or you'll regret it!_ Alec thought it would be wiser to disappear among the guests before Magnus could spot him. He really didn’t want to deal with the disapproval Magnus would likely express about his outfit.

The music was too loud and there were too many people. They seemed to have an endless supply of energy. Just watching them made Alec feel tired. He had been here for all of two minutes and he already wanted to go home. Sighing, he leaned against the living room wall. He plastered a blank expression on his face, but he could already feel the headache coming on.  Having nothing better to do, he began scanning the room for Izzy and Jace.

From where he stood, Alec could see most of the guests. So he scanned the room, deciding he would people watch to pass the time.  His gaze landed on Magnus. He was surrounded by a small group of people. Every one of them were laughing.  He was obviously telling them about his trip to Peru because Catarina and Ragnor intervened from time to time to add little tidbits of their own. Magnus always had a small group people, this time including Izzy and Jace, who seemed to follow him around. They revolved around Magnus as if he were the sun. A brightly shining sun.

As he felt something move against his foot, Alec lowered his gaze. _Chairman Meow?_ He smiled, he must have escaped Magnus' room again. He tried to visually follow him but Chairman Meow was fast, and amazingly adept at blending into the shadows. Alec was willing to bet that he took refuge in the kitchen. He returned his gaze to the group of Magnus’s “followers” with a little smile.

That's how Alec had learned a lot about Magnus without having a real talk with him.

Magnus was such an enigma. One that Alec often found himself thinking about. Could a person who shone that bright and was that beautiful be real? To most people Magnus was an extravagant man who viewed the world and everyone in it, with a nonchalant attitude. But Alec knew it was just a facade. Magnus wore his heart on his sleeve and lived every moment with passion. He was a passionate man; elegant, beautiful, mischievous, and sexier than any man should be allowed to be. Alec sometimes wondered if Magnus was a jealous or possessive man. It wouldn’t surprise him in the least, despite the carefree attitude Magnus always projected. But above all else, it was Magnus’ confidence that left Alec truly captivated.

A few moments later Alec snapped out of his thoughts of Magnus and he found that he had somehow joined the small circle around Magnus. _This is awkward,_ he thought, racking his brain for the best way to escape without looking rude. They were all laughing at a joke that he hadn't paid attention to, when Izzy gave him a slight nudge.

“Pretend to understand and laugh,” she whispered to him.

“Or listen,” Magnus said smiling, a glint of amusement in the eyes.

Alec noticed with embarrassment that all eyes were suddenly on him. If he had been a turtle, he would have taken refuge inside his shell. If he had been a hedgehog, he would have rolled into a spiny ball. And if he had been an otter, well, he would have paddled away. But no, he was just Alec. So he did what he always did; he tensed up and looked awkward.

“I think Chairman Meow escaped,” said Ragnor. Magnus gasped and pushed through the group, ordering people to buzz off so he could find the tabby cat.

Alec took the opportunity to silently slip away. He hid in the kitchen where a nerdy boy played a game on his phone. The boy lazily raised his head, and stared at him for a few seconds. His eyes grew wide in recognition.  

“Hey, I know you! Come with me!” he called out, taking him by the arm.

Alec looked bewildered. _Who’s this guy?_ _And how does he know me?_ Alec didn't like to be touched and tried to shake is arm free from the stranger’s grasp. _Is he one of Izzy’s many suitors?_ As the questions raced through his head he noticed the nerdy boy was pulling him towards a specific person.

“Hey Clary, look who I found!”

A redheaded girl looked him up in down with large emerald eyes. _Okay, now who is **she?** Why do these people think they know me?_

She suddenly wore the same expression as the nerdy one did earlier: recognition. “Oh my God, it’s him Simon!” she gasped, taking Alec's hand. He still didn’t know what was going on, but he did know that they were being way too touchy.

''Who are you? '' he asked, taking back his hand.

The redhead smiled.

“I'm Clary, Clary Fray, and you may not remember me, but you helped me the other day on the subway.”

Alec blinked.

Of course, he remembered. That wasn’t that long ago. He was reading, like he always did as he rode the subway, but something had caught his attention. He remembered looking around and seeing a redheaded girl using her comically large drawing folder as a make-shift shield against a man who was bothering her. Though the train hadn’t been that busy, he remembered being surprised that nobody seemed to care what this guy was doing. Every time the redhead tried to shake him off, he would follow her. He couldn’t hear what the man had been saying, but he had seen the girl’s discomfort. When he saw the man start making sexually explicit gestures, Alec had had enough. He approached and placed himself between the man and redheaded girl. He politely asked the man to leave, luckily Alec was tall and the man had left quietly, leaving behind the smell of stale beer. Before getting off at the next station, Alec had told the girl that she’d be better off using her drawing folder as a weapon and not as a shield. The redhead had snorted, and said that its contents were too precious to hit an asshole with. It had made Alec smile.

“I remember.”

She smiled and handed him a drink. “It's nice to see you again. I saw you earlier and told Simon to catch you. By the way, I don’t think I ever properly thanked you. So, Thank you. ”

Embarrassed, Alec scratched his neck, unaccustomed to receiving appreciation from anyone. “You're welcome,” he said with a shy smile.

Clary blinked, and then grinned widely. Simon and Clary were the same age as Izzy and Jace. They looked like nice people, and they were actually pretty funny. Clary was studying drawing, it was a family thing. Magnus  apparently loved her mother's paintings, which was why she was at the party. She didn't want to come alone so she had invited Simon, her best friend. Alec found out he was a future computer programmer and played in a band in his spare time.

“So the sparkly one is Magnus?” asked Simon.

Alec almost choked on his drink. The description was pretty accurate. Magnus was very sparkly, sparkly as hell honestly. _Did he shower in glitter?_ Alec thought off handedly.  He nodded, looking at Simon with amusement.

“That cat is so cute,'” observed Clary.

“Damn, you're right!” said Simon. “I never saw a cat that cute, not even on the internet! He could be internet famous!”

Alec smiled. Chairman Meow was pretty popular, especially sitting in the arms of Magnus. He looked around for Izzy and Jace, wanting to make sure they weren’t getting into any trouble. Surprisingly they weren’t wasted yet. Relieved, he focused again on his new acquaintances. His eyes met Clary's who were watching him. Surprised, she looked down, blushing. Her discomfort made the situation slightly awkward.

“The Independent Cookie or Cookie's Independence Day?” shouted Simon.

Clary and Alec's eyes narrowed in confusion.

“What?”

“My band's name! What do you think?”

Clary rolled her eyes and pulled at Alec's arm to make him bend down.

“He always changes the name of his band, all the time! Last week they were called  ‘The Organic Vegetables’ or something like that.”

Alec laughed.

“Are they any good?”

Clary winced. “I'd say all their stupid names suit them.” Alec laughed again.

“Hey!” said Simon stated, pretending to be offended. “But seriously, what do you guys think? Tell me the truth!”

Alec grinned. “I love cookies. Actually, everybody does. But it’s kind of a crappy band name.”

Clary nodded. “He's right!”

Not offended in the least, Simon didn’t miss a beat and started spouting off other names. After a while they all agreed on ‘Kitten’s Power.’

*

Alec hid again in the kitchen and decided to get some work done on his phone. As he was reading emails, he saw Chairman Meow out of the corner of his eye. The tabby cat was drinking water from the kitchen faucet. Alec’s eyes grew wide as he realized the cat could independently turn the water on and off.  He couldn't help but smile at his prowess.

“Alexander, here you are and you're smiling!” announced Magnus, as he entered the kitchen somewhat theatrically. “Oh! and here is Chairman Meow,” he said with a disapproving tone. “And you're drinking out of the sink?” he shook his head but reached out to pet the troublemaker.

He stroked his cat's head, grinned and sat next to Alec on a stool.

“Is the party over?” inquired Alec.

“You wish!” smirked Magnus.

“So, why are you here?”

Alec wasn’t trying to come off rude, but he was genuinely curious why Magnus wasn’t out mingling.  He couldn’t think of a single reason anyone would want to be _here_ - _with **him**_ \- _alone_.

Magnus smiled warmly. “Always so blunt! Well, I wondered where my cat was and then I saw you had disappeared. So I came to see if you had left.”

Alec nodded, put away his phone, and when he looked up Magnus was staring at him. Alec’s mind went temporarily blank. _Genetic,_ he thought. His caramel colored skin seemed to actually shine. It was the glitter he realized. His eyeliner, his cheekbones, his lips. Magnus was the kind of person you could watch endlessly.

“You seem tired Alexander,” muttered Magnus, gently touching his cheek.

Alec froze when the unexpected physical contact jolted him out of his daydream. _You have no idea,_ he wanted to say. But before he could answer, Chairman Meow jumped on him. Alec caught him easily and Chairman Meow responded by rubbing his fur against his black sweater. Alec stroked him between the ears and the cat purred louder.

“Work?” Magnus asked simply.

“Yes.”

“You met Clary earlier.”

“And Simon.”

Magnus frowned, trying to place the name.

“Clary's best friend,” helped Alec.

“The nerdy guy?”

Alec nodded. “They're funny.”

“I could tell, they made you laugh!” Magnus said in a spirited tone. He looked overjoyed.

Alec frowned, he knew he was uptight, introverted, and probably a little too grumpy for most people’s liking but he was able to laugh.

“Because _they_ are funny,” he said in a light tone and with a shy smile.

Magnus stared at him, astonished. ''Wha...They've unlocked something in you! How did they do that? I have to thank them!''

With that, Magnus dashed out of the kitchen. Leaving behind him a whiff of sweet and heady scent, and a surprised Alec.

Alec didn’t think Magnus was serious, he just assumed that he grew bored of talking to him. But as Alec exited the kitchen, he realized that was exactly was Magnus was doing.

“...because I would have never seen his smiling face otherwise!”

Alec went red with embarrassment. He stumbled backwards and pushed himself against a wall. He could actually hear Magnus shouting at random guests, asking if they had seen Alec smile. He tried his best to disappear into the wall he was leaning against, but it was hard to do considering he was wearing all black.

''Here you are!'' said Jace. He was holding a beer in his right hand. He took a long sip and focused on Alec.  ''Let me guess, you're tired. You have a headache. The music is too loud, and there are too many people. So you were hiding, but then you decided to actually socialize for once, and _BAM!_ Now you’re more tired than you were before.” Jace stated coolly. With a smile he added: “I’m right, aren’t I?

Alec blinked, not expecting Jace to have read him so well. “You're not drunk and you're right.” Alec was surprised with both points.

“Ha! Called it.  So...where’s Izzy?” Jace asked.

“With Magnus.”

“Nice! It’s not that you're boring Alec but...See ya!”

Alec nodded and looked at his phone. It was 6am, he gasped.

“It's too early for you to leave,” claimed Magnus taking away Alec's phone.

“I have to work.”

_In exactly two hours._

Magnus gave him an amused look, a colorful bottle in the hand. The party was just beginning for him. He fiddled with the phone for a while, tapping on the screen with a devious grin.

“What are you doing ?” asked Alec.

“You didn't have my number and now you do!” with a wicked grin, he handed the phone back to Alec and sauntered off.

“Shit,” Alec muttered.

Magnus obviously saw the Alec’s contact list. He had five numbers saved, _well six now_. He had no idea what someone as popular and outgoing would think of his barren contact list, but he found himself starting to care more and more what Magnus thought of him. Shaking his head, he looked at the time, he really did have to go. He was relieved to find that Izzy and Jace were, for once, not wasted and appeared to be perfectly sober.  He approached them. They were deep in conversation with a group of people, including Clary and Simon.  

“I have to go; do you two have money?”

Izzy and Jace turned in one motion.

“Where are you going? It's too early!”

“Don't tell me you have to work...” winced Jace, he actually sounded a little apologetic.

“'I have nothing on me!” chirped Izzy.

Alec sighed and gave them money for the taxi. “Promise me you won’t throw up. You won't have enough left over to cover that kind of tip.”

Simon opened his mouth. “You two are brother and sister, right?” he said in a loud voice. ''Wow, no wonder Izzy's face rang a bell! You guys look so much alike!”

Alec narrowed his eyes, _was he serious?_ _Izzy was much more..._

“Beauty runs in the family!” his sister claimed proudly hugging Alec's waist.

“And me?” asked Jace.

Alec took this as an opportunity to get away. Once again flushing from the attention. He saw the sympathetic gaze Clary gave him.

“Bye, see you Clary's Savior!” shouted Simon who was clearly drunk.

“Savior?” asked someone.

Alec managed to push through the human wall, and walked quickly to the front door.

“Bye Alexander, see you next time?”

Alec turned around ready to tell him that there wouldn't be a next time. He was too tired and this was all just a little too much. But when his eyes met Magnus’s gaze, the words  disappeared on his tongue.  

“I'll take care of your siblings,” he said in a slightly playful voice.

Alec nodded.

When he got inside the elevator and the doors began to close, two recognizable hands sprang from nowhere and blocked the doors. Alec frowned, wondering what Magnus was playing at. They stared at each other for a moment, one with amusement - the other with suspicion.

“Now that you have learned to laugh. You have to do it more often. Got it, Alexander?”

Alec narrowed his eyes.

“I'm going to be late,” he said dryly.

Magnus sighed still smiling. “Have a nice day, Alexander!”

But that was impossible, because Alec was headed to Idris and to his father, who seemed to revel in extinguishing every sliver of Alec’s happiness.  

*

Alec smiled as he saw the needles of the tattoo gun going in and out of his skin. He loved his artist, he was good at what he did. He watched him shade the last part of the design. This was his fourteenth one, it was a long arrow made of geometric forms that spanned the inner portion of his left arm. Alec didn't know when this passion for tattoos began, but he had taken the plunge when he was 18 years old, not long after he signed his life away to his father. Maybe it was to exercise a bit of control over his life for once. Maybe it was a reminder that his body was still his. Or maybe it was his attempt at loving himself, proving that something about him could actually be beautiful.  

Nobody knew about them. They were strategically placed. So people could only see them if he took his clothes off. Meaning nobody had seen them, _or probably ever will,_ he thought bitterly. It was fine, his tattoos were a kind of a secret he greedily kept. Each tattoo was special, and held some kind of meaning to him: a labyrinth over his heart, below that a compass that had his and his sibling’s initials located at each of the cardinal points. On his back was a Sak Yant lotus that was hand etched by a Buddhist monk, it was a sort of prayer, meant to bring him happiness and prosperity. On his hip, a balance for integrity and honesty. He had a wheel of fortune on his right shoulder, and a sword made of geometric forms on the inner side of the same arm. Located on his ribs below the compass was a complicated design of his siblings’ constellations and his own intertwined. He had the chemical formula of silver nitrate on his right side, and the chemical formula of love on his right. Located on his left shoulder was the image of a sun and moon, it symbolized yin and yang and the idea that seemingly opposite or contradictory forces were interconnected and interdependent upon each other. Though each tattoo had their own individual meaning, together they meant one thing: Freedom.

Walking out of the tattoo parlor Alec felt content, making him feel as if he had more self-control, it was strange but he loved the rush of endorphins he got when being tattooed. It made him feel stronger, something he desperately needed tonight. He was having dinner with his father.

*

He was well dressed but had forgot to do anything with his hair. He was reminded of this when his father stared at him disapprovingly.   _At least, Jace had style_ , he thought. His father hadn't chosen the right heir. This was the same restaurant he’d taken Alec to 5 years ago. Alec felt sick every time he thought of this place, but his father probably knew that. He had picked this place on purpose; knowing he’d have the upper hand. Knowing this place would flood Alec’s brain with unpleasant memories and remind him how far his father would go to get what he wanted.

Alec was rushed with waves of emotion. He started to silently panic, he went right back to being that insecure teenager that his father had bullied. Head down, he looked at his hands waiting for the inevitable onslaught of blame and ridicule. Robert either didn’t notice, or didn’t care and was casually reading the menu.

“How are Izzy and Jace?” he asked.

Alec widened his eyes, surprised.

“Uh, they're doing fine,” he answered hoarsely.

Robert glanced at him, putting away his menu. Alec forced himself to sit up straight and look at his father.

“College is going well for both of them. Izzy has started taking yoga and dance classes. And Jace... Well, I don't know much about Jace honestly. But both of them are doing fine.”

Robert nodded.

“They still party a lot?»

Alec didn't answer. _And so do I… against my will._

Robert sighed. “Humph, they always spend so much money… Anyway you must be happy they can flitter about however they want. Everything is still the same, and nothing has changed, right Alexander?”

 _It depends_. Alec wanted to say, but he kept silent.

“What about your love life?” Robert asked innocently.

Alec ground his teeth together and looked his father right in the eyes for the first time of the evening. Robert seemed serious, not liking Alec’s sudden spark of defiance.

“I respect the contract,” he answered abruptly, slightly shrinking back under his father’s scrutinizing gaze.

Robert blinked. “Of course you do. I meant a girlfriend. Do you have one?”

 _Never going to happen, no matter how much it would please you,_ thought Alec. The idea of deceiving someone just to please his father was abhorrent. He’d rather end up alone.

“I don't remember the girlfriend clause in the contract,” he muttered, not caring to hide the bitterness in his voice.

Robert raised an eyebrow, surprised by the provocative tone of his eldest son. “Maybe there will be.”

They glared at each other with hate. Robert broke the silence.

“Are Izzy and Jace seeing anyone?”

“Ask them,” answered Alec in a challenging tone. Knowing full well that Robert couldn’t ask his siblings because they dodged all of his calls. They would occasionally pick up the phone for their mother Maryse, but even that was rare.

Robert Lightwood's lips were pinched. The tension between them was palpable.  The waiter awkwardly stood back from the table, waiting for an opportunity to take their order.

“I'm going to the bathroom,” Alec bit out. He had to get away from his father and clear his head.  

Alec stood in front of a huge lavish mirror and splashed his face with cool water. He loosened the black tie that felt like it was suffocating him, and took a good look at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. He was paler than usual, fatigue dug his face and his eyes were bloodshot. He was so out of his league. Placing both of his hands on the counter he closed his eyes, hung his head, and tried to formulate a plan to get through the rest of this dinner. He was about to lose it, when he heard his phone buzz. Curiously, he took out his phone. His heart stopped when he looked at the screen. Magnus?

“Hello? Who's this?”

_Alec closed his eyes, could he be more stupid than he currently was?_

“Wait, you deleted my number?” asked a surprised Magnus.

“Magnus, hi!” Alec said a little too enthusiastically.

Magnus chuckled. “Hi Alexander, it's been a long time! You should have called.''

 _Wait, was he mad? Did I do something wrong?_ Alec analyzed what Magnus had said with a worried face.

“How did you get my number?”

Magnus dodged the question with a laugh.

“Are you free tonight Alexander?”

“Why?” he asked suspiciously.

“Because I want to see you.”

“No, I can't. Sorry.”

“Oh,” said Magnus who sounded disappointed. “What a pity! What about tomorrow?”

Alec couldn't, he had promised Max they would watch a movie together, the movie adaptation of a novel they both loved.

“Busy…”

Magnus sighed.

“Um… Are Izzy and Jace coming ?” asked Alec.

“Does it change anything if they're coming? Or... Wait! Are you telling me that you won't come if they don’t?”

“Uh...yes?” Alec said uncomfortably.

Why would he go to one of Magnus’ parties without his sibling? He was socially inept, it would be wildly awkward going to a party alone. He only ever went to keep an eye on his siblings, and because they forced him to go. Magnus uttered an exclamation of surprise that curiously resembled the sound of an angry cat.

“I'm inviting _you_ Alexander, **_you_**!”

Without Izzy and Jace, Alec was not really willing ... He imagined himself without them at a party and shuddered in terror and anxiety.

“Sorry Magnus, I really can't.”

Magnus sighed. “How can someone so young be so busy?  Anyway, just tell me when you're free.”

Alec hesitated, when he began to answer his father burst into the bathroom and frowned.

“Is that call so important that it justifies you ruining our meal Alexander?” he asked angrily.

“I'm important,” said Magnus' voice on the phone who heard what Robert had told to Alec. “Is that your father?”

“Yeah, sorry I have to go.”

“Got it, don't forget to text me when you're available.”

Alec smiled, looked at his phone thoughtfully and changed the name of Magnus to:  “ ** _The Glittery One_** ”. It suited him way better than “ _The Sparkly One_ ”. He was smiling goofily until he heard the angry sound of Robert’s voice telling him to get back to their table.   

The next day, Alec took Max to the movie as promised. The movie wasn’t that great, but they had enjoyed eating popcorn and spending time together. As they were walking out of the theater Alex felt his phone buzz.

**The Glittery One**

_Dear Alexander, after a careful reflection, I decided to organize an amazing dinner party, and you are invited. Of course, Izzy and Jace are welcome too. Since they’re invited, you’re coming right? I’m eagerly waiting your reply. So answer me quickly or I’ll harass you._

**Darling**

_When?_

Magnus replied immediately.

**The Glittery One**

_Friday, come over anytime! It'll be a fantastic dinner between friends!_

Alec frowned in surprise. Did Magnus consider them friends? Was making friends really that simple?

**Darling**

_What should I bring?_

**The Glittery One**

_Just you and your gorgeous face!_

Alec blinked, and read the message again. As he did, he felt a hot blush spread over his face. Max looked up at him wondering what happened. Alec shook his head, and gave Max a reassuring smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for the comments and kudos ! 
> 
> Next chapter, next Monday ! 
> 
> (I apologize for the mistakes)
> 
> Kudos ans comments are more than welcome  
> xx
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: thanks cazamaree :)
> 
> [Thanks Murdermepink <3]


	3. Why Magnus is so Magnus ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a lot to write this chapter as English is not my native language !  
> Thanks for the kudos and comments ! :)

Although Magnus told him his presence alone would be more than satisfying with his handsomeness, Alec wanted to buy something. He didn't know what exactly but he would eventually find it.

It was a coworker in Idris who suggested he buy a good bottle of wine, it was perfect for a _fantastic dinner between friends_ , as Magnus said. And Magnus liked to drink, it was a perfect choice.

Alec was dressed as simple as possible despite Izzy's advice. Everyone was already there and he was still at home. Alec winced and walked down the stairs in high speed, he hated being late. He nervously rang the bell, wondering where he found the strength to come.

Magnus opened the door with a dazzling smile. Alec blinked, blinded. Magnus had sprinkled glitter all over himself, as usual, his eyes were enhanced by a golden line emphasizing the yellow of his eyes, he was wearing a black velvet jacket, a shirt barely closed suggesting his muscular torso and various necklaces, and particularly tight pants. Alec didn't know where to look.

''The more you want something the more it eludes you,'' Magnus said in a tragic tone, raising his eyebrows comically. ''I thought you'd never come, Alexander, never mind,'' he hastily added with a hand movement seeing the distressed look of Alec.

Magnus brought him inside with a mischievous smile, others seemed pretty excited, their yelps filling the apartment.

''Give me your jacket.''

Alec slid his jacket off his shoulders and handed it to him, not without throwing him a suspicious glare.

''For me?'' asked Magnus seeing the bottle Alec was holding. The latter nodded. Magnus smiled widely. ''I thought I told you that your presence alone is more than enough. You're the only one who brought me something actually so thank you Alexander,'' he added with a raised eyebrow.

Magnus kept on observing him, bottle in hand.

''I hope you'll have fun, for once.''

Alec tensed up and glance up at Magnus' smiling face. He wanted to tell him that even if it didn't look like he had fun during his parties he actually had, even if it was a lie, but Alec didn't get the point because Magnus was already aware of that.

''Sorry.''

Magnus seemed surprised. ''For what ? I can tell you're not comfortable when they're too many people around. It's not your fault. That's why I decided to organize this dinner, for a change.''

He seemed rather pleased for having this idea.

''Furthermore, you were not really willing to come if there were no Jace, no Izzy and a lot of people,'' added Magnus bending his head.

Alec had the absurd thought that Magnus had adapted his party concept just for him and he didn't know if he was happy. He felt awkward, dull and ungrateful, for some reason. Magnus gently smiled and they joined the others.

''My last guest is finally here, let's eat !'' claimed Magnus, a hand on Alec's back.

* 

Alec was relieved that he was not sitting next to Magnus, the places of honor being reserved by Catarina and Ragnor, Then Izzy, Jace, Clary and Simon. His relief was brief when he realized he was on the other end of the table, in front of Magnus who gave him a sparkling wink. Alec was ready to threaten Simon, seated to his right, in order to exchange place. But Simon smiled.

''Do you remember my name ?'' he asked with a wince.

Alec blinked and looked at him with surprise. ''I do...Simon Lewis ?''

When he saw Simon's face, he thought he was mistaken and was ready to apologize as sincerely as possible, but it turned out that it was an expression of relief.

''Yeah ! Thank you, you remember...'' complained Simon. ''Magnus called me Stan, They all did.'' He seemed traumatized.

Alec couldn't hold back his smile. ''Try to wear a sign with your name written in capital letters next time'' he suggested a little too cheerfully.

Simon smirked. ''Sounds cool but I'm pretty sure they will find a way to call me Samson, Samuel, Scott...''

Alec's smile widened. ''Right, it sounds so alike.''

''I know, it's the first time it happens to me actually, Not that I'm unforgettable,'' Simon said with a mischievous voice. ''But I'm used to people who remember my name''

A sound of glass on which was tapped a knife resounded. Magnus rose, sowing some glitter, a mischievous smile on his lips and a feline spark in his eyes.

''My dear guests,'' he began soberly before being interrupted by Ragnor's snort. Catarina gave him a kick. ''I lovingly prepared the meal and I will not tolerate any remark about my dinner, except compliments of course, Obviously, it will be delicious.''

Alec grinned. Magnus was right, it was delicious. He was a good cook with eccentric dishes. There were exotic fruits in the sauce and the vegetables had the shape of stars. Alec refilled his plate twice. Magnus seemed pleased while looking at them.

It's been a moment that Chairman Meow was purring on Alec's lap. From time to time, Clary and Simon reached out to pet him enraptured by his cuteness. Alec had to admit, Chairman Meow had no rival in the world of cats.

Jace laughed loudly, Alec looked up and met the gaze of Magnus who gently smiled at him. Jace was telling a joke from his management teacher in college, everyone laughed excepted Alec and Simon who didn't understand the joke. They exchanged a particularly jaded and understanding look while Clary stared at them with amusement .

Magnus even bothered to prepare the dessert, a chocolate cake. Alec loved chocolate.

''It's quite surprising that the dessert is that simple !'' exclaimed Simon loudly.

''He started to get tired,'' joked Jace with a smirk. ''He's getting old.''

Magnus grinned. ''Wait to be 28 years old my dear Jace and we'll see if you will be as well preserved as I am.''

Alec and Simon looked at each other, surprised. _So he's five years older_ , pondered Alec to himself. He really couldn't tell at all.

After the meal, they were all gathered in the living room. It was the moment of truth, those who were accustomed to speak imposed themselves, others faded away. And Alec was far more interested in the books placed on the shelf than the stories of Jace and Izzy he already knew. Magnus was sitting right next to him and was laughing when Clary went on with a particularly amusing anecdote involving Simon. Jace laughed a little too loudly, Izzy and Alec exchanged a look and a disbelieving smile.

Alec then began to observe more closely the interactions of Jace and Clary. There was a good vibe between them. Izzy stared at her older brother looking surprised, amused and jaded. Alec shrugged. Their silent exchange had not escaped to Magnus who leaned toward Alec.

''What's going on ?''

Alec glanced up at his sister demanding for help.

''I was asking him if I could sleep at his place tonight! ''

Alec's eyes narrowed. Izzy gave him an apologetic look.

''You can communicate with eyes ?'' asked Simon.

''That's how close we are'' she said proudly with a hair movement. ''He's answering me right now, and it's a yes''

Alec was just calmly glaring at her. Magnus seemed to find it wildly amusing.

''I could tell since the beginning how close you were,'' Catarina muttered fondly.

''If Izzy can go, I also want to,'' declared Jace in a determined voice.

Everyone could hear the exasperated sigh that came out of Alec's lips.

''He likes me better,'' added Izzy teasingly.

''That explains so much'' reproached Jace, unhappily.

Alec couldn't believe they had such a childish talk with spectators who were enjoying a nice fraternal dispute between Lightwoods.

''The only time you ever came over Jace, you put everything away in my apartment, everything and I couldn't find anything,'' murmured Alec. ''Even my books''

''They were not organized in alphabetical order.'' retorted Jace.

Alec could hear laughs.

''I didn't ask you''

Jace pouted ''So, can I sleep over?''

''No.''

''Are you afraid that I'll touch your books?'' asked Jace teasingly.

Alec hated it when someone touched his books, except when it was Max and when he decided to lend them.

''Go ahead and touch them if you dare, But I swear that I'll send you an army of ducks if you do''

This reply made Izzy laughed out who tried to explain to others that it was Jace's phobia. And especially to Clary.

''So, I can?'' asked the latter with a victorious smile that the threat hadn't faltered.

Alec looked at the smiling face of Jace, he had never been able to resist his smile attack and murmured something inaudible. Jace gets up from his chair, a victorious look on, gathering the praise from the others for the win. Alec sighed and glared at his sister with a spark of _It's your fault_. Izzy did as if she didn't notice.

''Ducks?'' Magnus muttered with a smirk, his eyes fixed on Jace. ''That's good to know.''

*

''How was the dinner Alexander ?'' inquired Magnus filling a glass of wine.

Alec politely declined the glass offered by the latter who smirked. ''You are more orange juice?'' And his smile grew wider.

Alec winced, Magnus was gently mocking him and he didn't know how to react. He also didn't know how he ended up alone with Magnus on the sofa. There had been Simon and Izzy earlier, but they had disappeared.

''It was great,'' he simply commented.

''Obviously.''

Alec smiled and then noticed the way Izzy was looking at them. Alec frowned, his sister turned her head.

''Alexander?''

Alec blinked. ''Sorry, you said... ?''

Magnus smiled. ''You're easily distracted, am I not interesting enough for you ?''

He was joking but his gaze was serious, Alec was pretty sure he remembered their phone conversation not so long ago.

''No you are, but...you're more intimidating.''

Alec froze, the words naturally came out. A burst of surprise crossed Magnus' eyes, he sat up a victorious smile on his face and approached Alec who tensed up with this proximity and the way Magnus was dressed. He didn't know where to look.

''Intimidating,'' he repeated. ''Really ? Tell me more about myself,'' he muttered

Alec could feel his breath on his cheek, he was sure his heart had missed a beat, he remained paralyzed for a long time before four miserable words came out of his mouth.

''With all your confidence.''

Magnus seemed strangely pleased to hear those words and encouraged Alec with a smile. Never he had seen a person smile as much as Jace, it was confusing.

''Are you scared of me ?'' asked Magnus teasingly but with a serious gaze.

Alec took a deep breath. ''No, this...this is only one facet, an illusion to impress others, it's not scary but intimidating...''

Magnus was no longer smiling and wore a serious expression that frightened Alec. He felt observed and it was not pleasant. He was afraid that Magnus was upset and that he would tell him what he was thinking about him, like boring, uncool, awkward, uneasy, uptight ... But Magnus was silently observing him.

''It seems I underestimated you, my dear Alexander,'' declared Magnus with a forlorn smile.

Alec didn't like that smile and seriously wondered if their friendship was not already compromised. He stood up, trying to escape his interlocutor who looked up at him a confused stare.

''Where are you going?''

''Now I'm scared,'' blurted out Alec without any eye contact.

Magnus laughed, his head thrown back sensually. Alec stared at Izzy who was torturing the poor Simon with her hair and smile attacks. She understood right away by his attitude and Magnus face's twisted with a laugh that something was going on. Furthermore, the latter was approaching her brother dangerously, she had to intervene.

''Alec, want to go home?'' she asked, standing up and passing a protective arm around his waist.

Relieved, he nodded, feeling so lucky to have Izzy as his sister.

''What happened ?'' she muttered.

Alec winced unable to answer, Magnus fell upon them like a hawk on its prey.

''We're going home'' claimed Izzy with confidence.

She winced when she saw the upper lip of Magnus curled up in a disdainful pout, a distinctive sign of his displeasure. Alec stuck closer to Izzy who tightened her grip around his waist. Magnus studied them for a moment, thoughtfully.

''What a pity, things were getting interesting''

His intense gaze was still focused on Alec.

''Thanks for the dinner,'' he grumbled while Izzy was warning the others that they were leaving.

''My pleasure Alexander, feel free to come as you wish. You'll always be welcome and I'll text you about my next party, a real one this time. There will be juice'' .

Izzy laughed, embarrassed Alec looked away and saw that Jace was saying goodbye.

''Let's go ?'' asked the latter. ''See you, Magnus !''

And he turned around to Clary for a last goodbye.

Magnus accompanied them to the front door, leaning against the wall and staring at Alec who couldn't bare it anymore.

''See you guys,'' he said. ''We'll see each others soon enough.''

Izzy and Jace smiled and get out first, Magnus drew nearer.

''Our conversation is not over Alexander, I'll call you.''

Alec blinked, Magnus winked at him which made him hastily close the door behind him.

* 

Jace was resisting the urge to store his books, Alec could tell, and he was grateful. If Max had been here their sleepover would have been perfect and like before, he noticed.

''Magnus is so nice !'' exclaimed Izzy watching Alec's reaction.

''Yeah,'' added Jace. ''You seemed rather close, like real buddies''

''We're not.''

Izzy opened her mouth to say something but refrained herself. Alec encouraged her with a glance, Izzy made him understand that she would tell him later.

He gave up his bed for Izzy who jumped like a child, Jace had the couch and Alec the floor. But he still didn't know if he would sleep with Izzy or Jace.

Alec filled his glass of water in the kitchen while his siblings were arguing over who would be first to shower. They went to bed around 3 am, and if Alec had decided to sleep with Jace, he suddenly remembered that Izzy had to tell him something.

''I know you like me better,'' she murmured when he lay down on the floor and pulled a blanket over him.

Alec snorted, looking up at his sister. She had tied her hair into a bun on her head and her face without makeup seemed younger.

''You know Alec...'' she muttered as if she didn't want Jace to hear. ''Happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy, even you. Especially you, so...''

''You mean he's not happy because he never got laid ?''

Alec threw an anxious glance at his sister, the heart pounding loudly. Did she know something ? Izzy's eyes sparked with anger when they landed on Jace who lay next to Alec.

''Like when we were younger'' sighed Jace with ease.

''What did you say?'' asked Alec. ''Before, when we were younger?''

''That you never got laid?''

Alec growled. ''So what?''

''Better than jumping on everything,'' intervened Izzy glaring at Jace who interrupted her conversation with Alec. She was facing down and was watching them with an air of superiority.

Jace snorted. ''Look who's talking''

''I have to work tomorrow,'' begged Alec. ''So shut up.''

They calmed down immediately and Alec could almost hear them wince. A heavy silence settled, nobody was willing to break it.

''So, how's Robert?'' asked Jace in a light tone.

''Same as always, the other day he asked me if both of you had someone,'' answered Alec in the same tone.

Jace and Izzy both winced.

* 

Alec bought a strong coffee on his way to Idris. Jace had talked all the night about the beginnings of his feelings for Clary. Alec felt weird when he heard it but didn't analyze further his feelings. Izzy had done all she could to meet his eyes but Alec had deliberately avoided it. It seemed his sister knew much more things than he thought. He underestimated her.

His siblings were incredibly talkative about love and Alec had been unable to say something on the subject that was unknown to him.

His phone rang when he came out of the subway.

''Hello ?'' he said, carrying his cup to his lips.

''How was the pajama party between siblings Alexander, did you have fun ?''

''Uh...yes, yes, uh thank you for asking,'' answered a very confused Alec who was now looking at his own phone as if it was a cactus particularly sharp.

''Wonderful ! When are you free?''

''I don't know,'' he hastily answered.

There was a silence and the amused voice of Magnus sound again. ''I'm not that scary you know.''

Alec snorted and apologized.

''Let me prove it to you, How about tonight ? Not a long time if you're really busy.'' Magnus hastily added.

Alec stopped in the middle of the street, as to highlight his hesitation.

''Okay,'' he muttered.

''I'll be waiting for you.''

Alec hung up, his heart pounding loudly and smiled. This day will not be as bad, as he thought, after all.

* 

Alec stared dumbfounded at his orange juice.

''I can drink wine but I don't like it,'' he confessed to Magnus who gave him his mischievous look. ''Thanks.''

They were on the sofa, alone, except Chairman Meow who gleefully rubbed against Alec.

Alec felt slightly oppressed in Magnus apartment which seemed much larger know there was no one else around. That was why he chose a small apartment, a spacious cocoon enough for one person.

''I'm making you uncomfortable,'' commented Magnus sipping his expensive wine.

Alec shrugged.

''Why?''

''Because we're very different ? I don't know if you're joking or if you're really mocking me sometimes...''

Magnus leaned his head. ''You think I'm making fun of you ?''

''No ?''

They remained silent and stared at each others.

''Tell me more about you Alexander, I know nothing despite all these years.''

 Only two years, Alec wanted to rectify, but he retained and bit his lips. There was nothing to tell, he was not that interesting.

''What do you want to know ?'' he asked on his guard.

''Everything.''

Alec blinked.

''It will be difficult as there is nothing to tell,'' he whispered, lowering his head.

''You're so different from Izzy and Jace,'' marveled Magnus.

Alec looked up thinking it was a reproach, but the look on Magnus' face was gentle. He was not mocking him

''I know, it surprised many people that we're from the same family. Except for Jace, of course.''

''He was adopted.''

Alec nodded. ''His father was a close friend of my father, that's why...''

Magnus was still staring at him with that glow that made him uncomfortable. Alec was surprised to read there some interest to what he was saying.

''And you're working for your father ?''

Alec winced. ''I am the oldest, I have to succeed him. He doesn't know yet but I will lead the company to bankruptcy. ''

Magnus laughed. ''Do you want to succeed him?''

Alec didn't answer, despite the curious stare of Magnus who decided to change the topic. He spoke about himself. Magnus had been abandoned by his parents, in Indonesia. He grew up in an orphanage and had left the country as soon as he could. Alec, hanging on his lips, wanted to ask him why his English was so perfect but refrained. Magnus smiled.

''An English volunteer in the orphanage.''

Alec nodded and Magnus continued. He was an investor, Alec was not surprised. Magnus could easily disguise himself as an adorable cat whereas he was more of a scary tiger.

''I don't like to sweat unnecessarily, except in bed of course,'' he announced with a suggestive look for Alec who was wondering if he had heard correctly.

''I'm teasing you,'' Magnus added with a glittery wink.

Alec was amazed that Magnus attached importance to what he said. He was that kind of person who managed to put anyone at ease, thanks to his social manipulation.

They talked about unnecessary things until quite late.

''I need to go,'' said Alec standing up.

Magnus followed him to the front door. Alec stiffened when he felt the hand of Magnus on his waist. They looked at each other, and Alec felt as if he was testing his reaction. An unpleasant wave overwhelmed him and Magnus took off his hand.

''Good night,'' muttered Alec.

Magnus gently smiled at him. ''Good night Alexander.''

Lying on his bed, Alec noticed that his friendship with Magnus disturbed him more than it should, he shook his head and burrowed it under the covers as to protect himself from the outside. 

* 

Everybody could tell Magnus and Alec were getting closer that they ever been. But there was that part of him that remained suspicious, Alec noticed. He didn't know whether he could really trust someone who took everything lightly, adopted life with nonchalance, and displayed on the surface what he was not.

Izzy bothered Alec quite a long time, wanting to know since when her brother and Magnus had become so close. Alec soon found himself trapped in the kitchen. He was finally ready to answer when someone interrupted them. They waited for the guy at the athletic figure to fill his glass or something like that but nothing. Alec guessed this person knew them. He was right, this guy was Matthew Donovan and he literally bullied Izzy at the beginning of high school.

''Lightwoods'', he said cheerfully. ''How are you ? It's been a long time ! Did you miss me ?''

''No,'' Alec answered automatically in a jaded tone.

The guy smirked, Izzy drew nearer to Alec who stepped forwards.

''Alec, right?'' asked the guy unhappily. ''I didn't forget you, you broke my nose back in high school !''

Alec gritted his teeth, that guy gave Izzy a hard time, behaving like an asshole because he liked her. When she refused to go out with him, Matthew Donovan spread the rumor that Izzy was easy. Alec quickly heard about it and had no trouble to trace the source. He took his head and hit him several times against the wall, making him cry and swear that he would never say this sentence ever again. Never they ever heard about Matthew Donovan until now. Alec wondered how this guy knew Magnus, and he remembered that he had been popular. The last parties were his thing.

''You were not expelled,'' he added. ''Because daddy was behind it, right ? I spent a month in the hospital !'' he hissed bitterly.

Izzy remained unusually silent, a hand on her brother's arm.

''And you even refused to apologize, You even said that you should have hit harder.''

''What do you want ?'' she finally asked angrily. ''Apologies ? You never apologized to me.''

The guy walked up to Izzy, Alec stand between them.

''Don't touch my sister'' Alec threatened.

''Otherwise what? You're going to hit me ? I know that your father was not happy Lightwood, what would he say this time uh ? You're not a kid anymore, he can't cover for you now,'' he spat.

Alec winced, he was right. He didn't know what to say, Izzy squeezed harder at Alec's arm and threw him a pleading look.

''He's not worth it,'' she whispered. ''Come, Alec, we must join the others.''

Alec nodded before he felt two strong hands around his neck. Izzy yelled. Alex automatically reacted and punched Matthew Donovan right in the nose. _Karma_ , he thought. And he winced when his attacker fell down on Magnus black ebony table.

''Crap,'' he muttered.

Izzy interjected, the guy unceremoniously pushed her against the wall. Hearing the painful yelp of his sister, Alec threw himself on Donovan.

''I knew you wanted it too Lightwood !'' he said before punching him.

Alec had already fought with Jace but it never went as far as to pin someone to the ground and beat him. Donovan was on top before Alec gave him a headshot, making both of them moan in pain. Alec was seeing stars, he took advantage of the momentary weakness of his opponent to throw at him again. Until two arms snapped him from his victim. Alec took a quick glance at the hands and winced. Caramel, nail polish, and rings. Alec stiffened and wanted to escape from his grip, willing to apologize for the damaged kitchen. Donovan got up from the floor, Ragnor at his sides ready to hit him if necessary.

Alec felt incredibly stupid and shameful, under the heavy gaze of Magnus and Ragnor. Magnus still held him by the waist and manipulated Alec to make them face each other. He didn't like to be touched and Magnus was too close that's why he tried to part away from his embrace. Magnus' eyes softened and he raised his hand to Alec's face.

''You'll have a nice black eye and your lip is split.''

''What happened ?" asked Ragnor.

Magnus narrowed his eyes.

Izzy was the only one to answer. "This guy was a pain in the ass during high school.''

"I'll pay you back," muttered Alec to Magnus who had finally let him go to see the damage.

“The question is how” Magnus said teasingly making Alec wince. 

* 

Izzy's tormentor has never invited again to one of Magnus parties, Alec had repaid him with bottles of wine and his black eye began to disappear.

''You were cute like a panda,” regretted Magnus.

Alec muttered something inaudible and went to hide on the sofa while Izzy was distracting Magnus from him. He caught the sullen look of Jace who regretted to have missed a fight for the sake of Clary. They were still not together, as he could see in Simon's eyes which shone with a glimmer of hope. Simon and he were more alike than he thought, he noticed.

Magnus sat down beside him, extending his long legs on the coffee table and handed him a glass of juice. Alec gave him an annoyed look, Magnus slightly treated him like a child.

"You no longer like juice, Alexander ?"

"I do."

Magnus smiled widely, moving his right leg in order to reach Alec's who felt Izzy's stare on him. 

* 

Alec no longer looked at Magnus kitchen, in the same way, it was more like a crime scene for him. He tried to avoid it as much as possible, it made Magnus laugh. He was now beginning to feel more comfortable with Magnus, more than he could tell, and Magnus also felt it.

“We're friends, right?”

Alec froze, worried, and glanced up at Magnus who seemed slightly tense and nervous. Chairman Meow gave him a blow with his paw for him to continue his cuddles. But all of his attention was focused on Magnus.

"I wanted to ask you from a long time,'' confessed Magnus softly. “Are you still in love with Jace?”

Alec was no longer moving or breathing, he froze. He couldn't think straight, a storm raged inside him giving him the sensation of drowning. Magnus was serious and wasn't making fun of him. He retracted like an oyster, feeling attacked.

“I'm not,” he growled.

Magnus gave him a weary look. "Don't lie to me, I know, I can see it.''

Alec gave him a panicked look. It was impossible, he did his best to hide it. Obviously, he had failed if Magnus knew. Alec closed his eyes painfully tight, remembering his conversation with his father five years ago. _You're gay, you can't be, Jace made you gay_. He began to panic.

When Magnus put a comforting hand on his shoulder, Alec stood up and violently repelled him. Magnus and Chairman Meow had the same wounded reaction.

"I guess you're not assuming your feelings,'' he paused in a voice he tried to keep calm. "Or your homosexuality, maybe both."

Alec tensed up. “I'm not,'' he repeated stupidly.

Magnus also stood up and face him. Alec refused to look at him in the eyes, Magnus lifted his chin. “You're not what ? Gay ? It's not a disease, Alexander, You're normal.”

He sounded angry. “You can't be closeted all your life, Alexander.”

Alec flinched, Magnus was using a vocabulary he wasn't ready to listen. He opened his mouth to deny his homosexuality and his feelings for Jace, but he realized it was stupid.

“So what ? I can't I don't get the point” he hissed back.

Magnus blinked. “You can't ? What's stopping you except yourself, stop acting like a coward and be yourself."

Alec felt like he was stabbed, but what shocked him the most was the angry face of Magnus. Alec had never seen him so angry and it was because of him. He didn't like it. Furthermore, Magnus was right, it was his cowardice that led him to his current situation, but he really didn't want to hear it from his mouth.

"And if I refuse, you will force me? Is that what friends do?"

Magnus had a pained expression, frowning. Alec was in a strong position, he drew nearer to Magnus.

"We have never been friends, not enough for you to tell me all of that. What's it to you that I am closeted ? That I still have not made my coming out ? Nothing !" he hissed.

Magnus upper lip curled up, he was ready with a retort, but Alec didn't give him time.

"What were you expecting Magnus, that everyone is like you ? Openly bisexual?" he attacked. "Everybody is not like you," he continued in the same dismissive tone. "Especially not me."

Magnus's eyes were now only two slots that anger had made yellow.

''You're such a coward,'' Magnus smirked sarcastically. ''Everyone can tell you're closeted except you."

A cold sensation invaded Alec, his heart was beating too fast that he wondered if he was not going to die. Everyone? Then it was the end for him.

''Did you really expect that something would change if you told me?''

Alec didn't know how he managed to maintain a serious and stable voice despite the emotional spiral that was taking him away.

''Yes,'' admitted slowly Magnus. ''I foolishly thought I could help you and change something.''

''You were right,'' said Alec with a shrug. ''Something changed, we're no longer friends.''

Magnus blinked and stepped forward. Alec turned his back.

''You're running away?'' asked Magnus with an expression that Alec had never seen before. He never thought that he would see the disdain on the face of Magnus one day.

''That's what cowards do,'' he hissed back.

''If you walk out that door, Alexander, you'll no longer be welcome here,'' said Magnus in a low voice.

Alec lowered his head and opened the door. Magnus' hand was on his, Alec froze feeling his breath on his cheek. Magnus was too close.

''Alexander,'' he whispered in a voice that Alec had never heard.

A lump in his throat, Alec pushed slowly as possible at Magnus' hand, still refusing to look at him.

''It won't be a big loss for you. I choose the right path for me and my family, that's it. If you can't accept it, then back off...I really didn't want to hear all those things from you. As if I needed it...''

Never he would have thought that he could come down the stairs as fast as he did, fearing that Magnus would run after him.

Once home, he took the contract and read it again and again, as to forget what just happened. But Alec still felt trapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well, things will be more interesting from now on I swear ! 
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes as always ! :)
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: thanks caz.


	4. Stubbornness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and the kudos !
> 
> xxxxx

The angry face of Magnus and his pouts full of disdain haunted him in a very unpleasant way, a feeling that was crushing his insides and made him feel sick. He was so ashamed of having shown his coward side to Magnus. Alec didn't want to be judged but he had been despite of him.

He closed his eyes painfully, to drive away his troubled thoughts. But they were still there.

Magnus was right and told him what he had always wanted to hear: he was normal, being gay was not a disease. But Alec had literally freaked out of being discovered and had behaved like a fool. If he had thought everything he had said at the time, he regretted it now and felt guilty. Magnus didn't deserve to hear any of that, neither did he.

''Alexander, Mr Lightwood wants to see you.''

Alec looked up from his screen and stared at the secretary of his father.

''Now ?'' he asked uncertainly.

''It's important,'' confirmed the woman of a mature age.

Alec stood up wondering, with a glimmer of hope, if he was finally going to get fired because he was so lousy in accounting. Service where he was working for a month already, he hated it but did the best he could. But Robert Lightwood didn't look at him. He waited until the secretary had closed the door to lean against his broad leather chair and watched his eldest son with a contemptuous wince. Undoubtedly, thought Alec lowering his head, it's the week of disdain.

''Do you remember when I had to ask the Director of your high school to not fire you?'' asked his father in a neutral voice.

Alec bit his lip.

''A certain Donovan, right ?'' inquired Robert Lightwood.

Alec flinched, his father asked a rhetorical question, obviously he already knew everything.

Robert smirked. ''You never knew how to lie Alexander...when I asked you where you got your black eye you said...What did you say ? Oh yeah, you said you fell down the stairs !''

Alec stared intensely at the tip of his polished shoes, waiting for the result with some anxiety.

''You broke again the nose of this boy, I don't know why, though I think I can easily guess why... but you fought at a certain Magnus Bane's place ?''

Alec looked up, surprised. He didn't expect to hear the name of Magnus. Now he was carefully watching his father right in the eyes. How did he know ?

''You know this Magnus Bane ?'' Robert asked interested.

''No, but Izzy and Jace do,'' he answered loosely thinking again about their argument and playing safe. He didn't get where his father was coming to and thought it would be better to deny any relationship with the said person.

''It's an investor,'' Robert explained. ''Rather renowned, a real shark, Izzy and Jace may finally show some use...'' he whispered to himself.

Alec winced, he began to understand and didn't like the innuendos implied.

''Speaking of usefulness,'' he continued. ''You don't like the Accounting Service, everyone can tell and they are all asking me why you are more depressed than usual... So what do you want to do ?''

Alec's mouth parted slightly and he looked at his father with suspicion. Where were criticisms ? His father had only commented on facts. He could smell the trap because since when Robert wanted to know what he liked ?

''Something with contracts? '' Alec suggested hoarsely.

''Human Resources ?''

Alec nodded, Robert did the same while dismissing him. Alec turned around ready to thank him but refrained from doing it and closed the door behind him.

*

Alec behaved as if everything was fine and didn't mention the hassle to anyone, hoping that Magnus did the same.

''What do you mean by you're not coming ?'' Izzy asked stunned.

Alec sighed, he had to be persuasive.

''I have so many things on my hands with accounting, I suck and I can't understand how ...''

''You always manage to free yourself usually !'' Izzy cut him off with a suspicious voice ''Are you okay ?''

Alec gasped. What could he tell her ? That he was no longer friend with Magnus ? That he knew everything ? That he messed up ? And especially that Magnus had not invited him, but this would be to admit they had an argument.

''I really can't Izzy, Robert gave me a lot of work,'' he lied, looking at his socks. ''I...I've already told Magnus.'' Who certainly knew he wouldn't come because he, more or less, forbidden him to set foot in his apartment ever again.

''Okay,'' Izzy murmured. ''Good luck then.''

''Yeah, have fun but with moderation.''

Izzy snorted. ''Don't worry !'' she said and hung up.

Alec sincerely hoped that the party would end well and that he won't have to go looking for them, otherwise he would die from embarrassment.

As a big brother always worried for his siblings, Alec had left his phone turned on.

He was awakened at 3:00 am. He kept searching for his phone and finally found it under his bed. Jace. Alec gulped and replied uncertainly, hoping that everything was going well.

''Hello ?''

''What did you do Alec ?''

''What do you mean ?'' asked the latter too quickly. He was wide awake now, all his attention focused on what he heard.

''Magnus,'' Jace simply answered before continuing. ''He is not really happy, I've never seen him like that Alec. The others either, hence my question: what did you do to him ?''

Alec got out of bed to turn on the light, his breathing was jerky.

''What do you mean ? Did he say something ?'' he asked hastily.

Everyone can tell you're gay. His heart raced, if Magnus had confessed everything then Jace knew. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

''Tell me, he was already not happy when we arrived and even less when he saw that you were not coming. He made this expression when, you know, he's not happy... ''

''Yeah,'' Alec managed to say with a traumatized voice, he recalled perfectly what looked like disdain on the face of Magnus.

''Well, in short, Izzy told him it wasn't your fault, you had a lot of work. And then he said...''

''What did he say ?'' Alec urged him.

''He said you were the most coward person he ever met... and that he should have trust his first impression.''

They remained silent for a moment. It was not a compliment, Alec perfectly knew what had thought Magnus the first time they had met. But he was relieved because Magnus hadn't tell a soul, he freaked out for nothing. Furthermore, Magnus had forbidden him to come again, he should have suspected that Alec would never again set foot at his place. And yet, a part of him was relieved that he had hoped to see him again.

''And,'' Jace continued. ''Care to tell me what happened ? Because he threw me out when he saw you weren't coming.''

Alec's eyes widened. ''What ? Why ?''

''He didn't take the time to explain.''

Alec opened his mouth, stunned, but nothing came out.

''Whatever Alec, I am heartily with you ! Because of him, Clary and me we had a fight and Simon took the opportunity to play the white knight, '' he growled.

''But where are you then, you're not at a party? '' Alec noticed, hearing noise.

''Magnus isn't the only one to organize parties even if his are more successful...,'' Jace confessed softly by hanging up.

Alec looked at his phone for five minutes before throwing it on his bed. He took a deep breath and summed up the situation by turning around in his room. Magnus was still angry against him and still despised him. He thought again of he should have trust his first impression and winced, it hurt. But he didn't say anything, and Alec was grateful for that. As for Jace, he was a collateral damage and Alec was deeply sorry. What about Izzy, he wondered, was she with Jace ? He closed his eyes for a moment and went to make coffee as he couldn't sleep any longer.

Izzy was able to stay until the end and that could explain her presence on his couch at six in the morning, a cup of coffee in her hand.

''You lied to me when you told me that Magnus knew and that you had warned him because obviously that was not the case, and you never lie, so tell me what happened, '' she ordered him.

Facing her brother stubborn silence, she continued.

''You had a fight ? He still hold a grudge against you...Clary, Ragnor and Catarina too, given that you hurt their Magnus. Even I have never seen him like that, he even said that...''

''I know what he said, '' he cut her off not wanting to hear again what Magnus thought of him. ''Jace told me...besides, why were you able to stay and not him ?''

Izzy blinked, her mouth twisted comically. ''Up to you to tell me Alec, Magnus didn't want to tell anything even if we harassed him. We stopped when we saw that every time your name was mentioned it made things worse...''

Alec winced and took refuge in the kitchen.

''Alec,'' begged Izzy following him. ''Tell me what happened ! You were beginning to get along !''

Alec bit his lip and turned around. Izzy encouraged him with a gentle glance and put a hand on his arm. If he could trust someone it was definitely her, it was high time and he suspected his little sister to already know. Plus, Alec needed some comfort.

''He knows,'' he mumbled so low that Izzy had to approach.

''What does he know Alec ?'' she asked in the same tone, as if she knew he would entrust his secret to her.

When his eyes met his little sister gaze, Alec saw that she understood. Izzy knew, but since when ? he wondered when she hugged him. She smelled good, and it has been a long time since Alec had received a hug. He had almost forgotten what it was.

''I've freaked out,'' he confessed in the black hair of his sister who squeezed him harder.

They stood for a long time, embracing each other, before Izzy broke the silence. ''You still don't get it for Jace ?''

Alec was slow to answer. ''How do you know we had a fight because of him ?''

Izzy sighed noisily against his ear. ''Poor Magnus,'' she whispered. ''I know everything Alec, almost everything,'' she corrected. ''You are my brother and...I can guess. ''

Alec broke their hug. ''He said the same thing, you can tell that I am ...?'' he exclaimed.

Izzy drew nearer. ''No of course not Alec, just...if you look carefully enough we can see that you're a little too caring with Jace. ''

Alec narrowed his eyes, making his sister smile.

''I don't know what Magnus told you Alec but he wanted to help you, I'm sure. Me as well...but you...you don't seem willing to accept you, I want you to be happy Alec, really.''

''Since when do you know?'' he whispered.

''That you're gay?''

Alec winced, this was the first time she said it in front of him.

''I am your sister and I am paying attention to you,'' she answered. ''Not like some _adopted_ who doesn't care at all. He still didn't get the winces you make when he's talking to you about girls or when he invites you out to pick some girls up.''

Alec smiled, Izzy did the same and hugged him once again.

''Robert knows about Donovan.''

Izzy stiffened. ''What did he say?''

''Not much, it'll fall back later, ''he murmured.

''Tell me when it'll happen, it's my fault too. Hey Alec? ''

''Hmm ?''

''Since when do you have tattoos ?''

*

Alec felt much lighter since he knew Izzy knew. But he wouldn't apologize to Magnus, he regretted some of his statements but not enough to go ask for forgiveness. Besides, he began to think that Magnus was the one to be wrong.

Jace was no longer welcome at Magnus place, Alec either, they went out together a few times, and Izzy was no longer insisting that they came with her. When she was asked when Alec would come, she didn't answer or said he was too busy with work, which was not wrong. As for Jace, everyone assumed that he and Magnus had a particularly epic fight that had made Jace banned for a long time.

Alec was always thinking about what Magnus had said: everybody knows, we can tell you are closeted. And about Izzy when she said that he cared too much about Jace.

That's why he did his best to not bring Jace to the toilet bar to throw up when they saw Simon and his group. Clary wasn't here, Alec let out a sigh of relief.

''It's been a long time Alec, you're alone ?''

''Jace is throwing up.''

Simon smiled and sat down beside him. ''Magnus reorganizes something you're coming ?''

''No.''

''Why ? Because of Jace?''

Alec was too taken aback to react. ''No, let's say that... parties are not my thing.''

''They're incompatible !'' added Jace coming out of the toilet. ''What are you doing here Salmon? You're not with Clary ?''

Simon opened his mouth, Alec did his best to not look at Jace, the words Magnus and Izzy had said still in mind. But Jace was too drunk. ''Sorry,'' he muttered to Simon who was going to play. ''An other time ?''

Simon nodded and Alec stood up, Jace followed him meekly, as always when he was drunk.

''Love you Alec, you know that? '' muttered Jace crashing into the back seat of the taxi.

''I know,'' whispered the latter.

*

If at first thinking about Magnus and others upset him, this was no longer the case. He thought less and less about it and returned to his old ways: read, read and read again. The happiest was Max who, since Alec went out less or not at all since Jace had wanted to put him with a girl unwittingly, could come as he wished to sleep on weekends. It was the first time since Alec lived alone that Max could come as many time in so much consecutive weekends.

''Don't you have homework to do?'' asked Alec to the thirteen year old boy collapsed on the couch and plunged into the encyclopedia of the stars.

''I prefer this book,'' said Max absently.

Alec stared at him before returning in the kitchen. Max promised to be as tall as he was, taller than Jace anyway, and just as asocial as he was if he continued to behave the same. Alec was exactly like this when he was thirteen and would rather liked if his little brother took a example on Jace to be more resourceful in life.

''Alec ?''

''What ?''

Max gave him a jaded look behind his glasses. ''You didn't listen,'' he noticed. ''I asked you what I could offer to Ellie. ''

He was leaning against the fridge and was watching his brother with his grey eyes. Alec looked at him blankly.

''Who ?''

Max rolled his eyes. ''Alec !''

''Your girlfriend ?''

Max already had a girlfriend and he persisted in asking advice from him rather than Jace. All in all, he was much more resourceful than had been Alec at his age.

''I don't know, ask Jace.''

''I'm asking you.''

Alec didn't really squabble with Izzy or Jace as they were close in age, but with Max...it could last a long time. With a click of the tongue, Max went back to the couch, a pout on his face.

''Stop smiling,'' grumbled Max.

Alec's smile widened.

*

Alec and Max spent the weekend eating, reading and sleeping. And they were extremely happy with their life. Alec a little less, the tiredness of the week and this unhealthy weekend was returning in force. Max was preparing his stuff and his breakfast while Alec knocked out in bed. Max could sleep anywhere, that's why he had taken up residence on the couch, near all the books. Alec didn't complain as he kept his bed.

He groaned, he hated Mondays.

He went back to sleep, but not for long as Max was still there and was speaking. Alec opened his eyes, it was probably their mom calling to see if Max was still alive after spending another weekend with him. The voice, in addition to Max's, was masculine and strangely familiar, but Alec was not fully awake yet. He got out of bed and shivered, he was half naked and didn't know where was his shirt. He blinked and gave up the search. Undoubtedly, it should be on the floor in the bathroom. He emerged from his room with his cup from yesterday in the hand and went into the kitchen.

''Max hurry up or you'll be late.''

After filling his cup of coffee, he turned puzzled by his brother silence who would have grumbled something like school is not that important or I don't care.

And then he saw that Max wasn't alone on the couch, Magnus looked as surprised as him but more by what he was seeing. They stared at each other, Max's eyes went from one to another, wondering if it had been a good idea to let in Magnus who had said to be a friend of his brother. Max jumped up and grabbed Alec's left arm.

''I didn't know this one,'' he exclaimed tracing with his finger the arrow. ''It's cool.''

Alec didn't look away from Magnus, wondering what he was doing there. He was still dazzling as always, Max too was little fascinated by his look.

''You'll be late for school,'' he repeated.

Max winced, Magnus seemed much more interesting than junior high. He raised an imploring look at Alec who hardened his gaze.

''Mom won't allow you to come anymore if you're late Max,'' he added softly.

Max sighed and took his stuff. ''I leave you my mangas. Bye Magnus, I hope you'll be friends again !''

Alec's eyes narrowed. They had time to speak with each other, he didn't like it and stared warily at Magnus whose eyes hadn't left him since he had came out of his room.

''Can I come back next week ?'' asked Max in the entrance.

Alec shrugged. ''I'll tell you, be good and have a nice day. Do you want a kiss ?'' he added with a smirk.

Max smiled. ''He's cool!'' he murmured, looking at Magnus who stood up and was looking at the books.

''It's only an impression.''

''It's at his place that you're partying ?''

''It'll be your party if you're late Max, go !'' he huffed in exasperation.

Max gave him a big smile. ''Tell me if you've reconciled !''

Alec closed the door. Magnus was no longer contemplating the books and was looking at him with his clear eyes.

''Hello Alexander,'' he greeted softly.

Alec nervously ran his hand over his bare arm and thought it would be better to dress, uncomfortable with the way Magnus was staring at him.

Indeed, his shirt was on the floor in the bathroom. He put it on and looked in the mirror. His hair was worse than usual and his eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles. If he could, he would have locked himself in his bathroom but it was not polite.

''Do you want to drink something ?'' he asked uncertainly.

Magnus blinked. ''The same as you. You could have stayed as you were...''

Alec was happy to have dressed a little more, but he still felt uncomfortable. He handed him a cup of coffee and sat down at a reasonable distance from Magnus who made a mocking noise.

''Izzy is the only one with dark eyes among the three of you,'' he commented. ''Max is lovely, you're really alike. ''

Alec blinked, not knowing what to say. Magnus took a sip and set his cup with too much spirit on the coffee table.

''Izzy told me where you lived for some time already, she thought you'd no longer be willing to come even though I was hoping the opposite... I've waited foolishly Alexander, but you preferred to hole up like...''

''Like a coward.''

Magnus sighed and stared at him with intensity. ''I was not serious when I said you were no longer welcome.''

''You're here to apologize?'' asked Alec. ''What's the point ? You meant what you said and I did too.''

He got up and Magnus followed him.

''I was too sharp,'' Magnus admitted. ''And you're right, I still think what I said except _never come back again,_  I'm sorry. I wanted to change things, but not like that !''

''Too sharp ? Because of what you said I feel like it's written...'' couldn't say the word, he made a hand gesture. ''On my forehead ! You've made things worse.''

Magnus opened his mouth. ''I wanted to make you react and I know it was not the right way !''

They glared at each other.

''If you were a friend,'' said Alec. ''You would have waited that I...''

Magnus blinked and his mocking expression appeared. ''Really ? Let me doubt that Alexander!''

Alec shrugged, Magnus knew him well. ''Then you'd have think there was a reason behind it, '' he whispered more for himself.

Magnus drew nearer, his breath caressing Alec's cheek. ''Like what?''

''A homophobic father ?''

Magnus plunged his eyes that anger made yellow in Alec's blue eyes.

''It seems to be a valid reason but what interests me more is why the sister of the blue eyed boy is not aware of all of this ?''

Alec bit his lip, how did he know ?

''Let's say the boy confessed his...tendency to his sister now, who might be aware of the homophobic father.''

Alec looked away, thinking of the contract he had more or less broken. He failed to recall if sanctions were mentioned.

Magnus lifted his chin with his fingers and smiled. ''There's some progress, but it would be even better if he could talk openly about his sexuality instead of babbling.''

Alec saw that Magnus had more questions he was dying to ask but he did nothing, and Alec was grateful.

''We're both too stubborn,'' Magnus noticed with a grin.

''You're less.''

Magnus' smile became more fierce. ''It's because I know what I want and you don't !''

''You're older,'' Alec confided with a smile.

''And I have more experience,'' added Magnus.

Alec cleared his throat, widening the smile of the latter. ''We're friends again ?''

''If that's what you want then yes...we're friends again.''

Magnus affectionately pinched his cheek and Alec walked him to the front door.

''Don't forget to tell Max that we've reconciled. And come when you can this week for a drink like orange juice and to see Chairman Meow, he missed you a bit !'' he conceded.

Alec looked at him with surprise, Magnus from a moment ago and the one in front of him were quite different. Himself felt different, happy to have reconciled with him.

''Oh, and one last thing,'' said Magnus with a finger on Alec's hip, who froze. ''I hope you'll show me all your tattoos, you got dressed so fast...''

Magnus noticed the one who was the least visible of all, the balance on his hip, that shirtless or not, no one could see unless Alec undressed completely. Magnus smiled, winked and left.

Alec ran into the bathroom and lifted his shirt. His pants, slightly too big, fell on his hips revealing a small part of his tattoo. A feeling of warmth spread over his face, he finally understood what Magnus had implied.

*

Alec felt uncomfortable, two people were aware of his sexual orientation and the others had suspicions, himself was becoming suspicious and paranoid. It was stupid but he was so afraid that Robert learned about it, not that he doubted his sister and Magnus, but his cautious side said that he was screwed.

''Alexander ?''

Robert threw him his skeptical gaze. ''You're not listening, I asked you if everything was going well in Human Resources.''

''I don't know, tell me.''

''I'm asking you, how is it going?''

''Let's say it's better than accounting,'' he grumbled. ''Why ? This is the first time you ask me if it's going well...''

Robert blinked and smiled, one of those smiles that didn't reach his eyes. Something is wrong, Alec thought, but what? He wondered if it had something to with Donovan and he bit his lip. Sooner or later, the punishment would fall. It was just a matter of time.

''By the way, what are the sanctions if...,'' began Alec.

''If you break the contract ? Our contract? '' asked his father. '' What do you think ? There will, of course, I had never thought about it because I always thought you would never break it... Do I need to start thinking about sanctions ? Not to mention what would happen to your siblings... Fulfill the terms Alexander and I'll do the same !''

Alec didn't answer, his father reprimanded him and he knew it.

''But I'll think about it Alexander, if you started to ask it means you're going astray from the right path.''

*

During a meeting where Alec was struggling to concentrate, his phone rang. Like many others, he didn't identified the source until he found out that the ringing came from his pocket and his own phone. He apologized awkwardly and left the room with the transparent walls. He could feel the eyes of his colleagues on him.

It was Magnus, Alec sighed.

''I'll call you back later,'' he whispered. ''It's important ?''

''I'm important and I remind you that my invitation to come whenever you want is still on but you still have not shown the tip of your nose !''

''I have a meeting, I'll call you later.''

He had time before hanging up to hear Magnus' exclamation of surprise and ' _a since when meetings are more important than me ?'_

Alec didn't listen to a word and couldn't concentrate at all as his neurons were obsessed by the thought of calling Magnus when he would come out of Idris.

As soon as he walked through the doors, he pulled out his phone and smiled. Incoming call.

''How do you know I'm out? ''

''I didn't know, I thought I would distract you from this boring meeting that had to be fatally boring !''

Alec smiled. ''You were saying ?''

''We've reconciled but you didn't come !''

Alec flinched, it was true but there was a but.

''What about tonight? Your day is over and mine too. Alexander ?''

Alec saw his father crossing the road.

''Okay.''

''There will be juice,'' Magnus said cheerfully before hanging up.

 

Magnus didn't hide his astonishment when he saw Alec.

''You can be charming when you want,'' he exclaimed.

Alec frowned, this was only his office attire: a gray suit and a white shirt.

''I always find you charming, but this is better than usual, you know what I mean ?''

''No, I hate to dress like that,'' he growled. '' And...what about you ?'' he asked curiously.

Magnus was wearing very tight black pants, a red shirt barely closed as always to show his chest and jewelry, and a black jacket sprinkled with red glitter. In addition of the nail polish and makeup.

Alec smiled. Magnus handed him a glass of fruit juice.

''Pineapple and lychee, homemade !''

''Thank you.''

The apartment hadn't changed at all, and Alec didn't dare to walk in the living room where they had a fight, and in the kitchen where he fought with Donovan. There were not only good memories in Magnus' apartment.

''Are you scared of the sofa Alexander ?'' Magnus laughed gently, sitting down and stretching his legs on the coffee table.

Alec knew very well what they would talk about, the conversation they had earlier in the week was far from over. He bit his lip, mixed. He wanted to sit and talk to Magnus but not about his homosexuality.

''What do you want to watch ?''

''I don't know,'' he answered, sitting down next to Magnus who gave him his predatory smile.

''What about...Brokeback Mountain ?''

Alec froze and watched him impassively. Magnus had this challenge and fun gleam in his eyes.

''No, not really I'm more into scary movies right now, '' he lied.

Magnus smiled and they watched Battle Royale. He felt the eyes of the latter on him during the first ten minutes of the movie.

''Say what you have to say, '' he whispered.

Magnus took a deep breath. ''Get out of your closet Alexander, I want you to be happy, Izzy does too, you'll be happier if you accept yourself ! Be what you are, do not be frightened, '' hesaid in one go.

Alec sighed, his eyes still glued to the TV screen. ''And if I'm fine in this closet?''

Magnus snorted. ''Since when being locked in a closet is nice ? Whatever ! But for how long ? You're starting to feel cramped, right ?''

Alec didn't answer, he gulped. ''And if I want to stay locked in that closet ?''

''Want ? You were locked there Alexander, how can you want it ?''

''And if it's the best for me ?''

''It would be best for you to do you're coming out Alexander, believe me. I guess it won't be easy with your family but... ''

''Why do you care so much if I'm closeted or not? '' murmured Alec turning away from the TV.

Magnus, who was still watching the movie, opened his mouth but no sound came out. He ran his tongue over his lips.

''Let's say you're not ready to hear what I actually want to tell you, let's leave it there. ''

''What did you mean by you should have trust your first impression ?'' attacked Alec.

Mouth distorted by contempt and narrowed eyes, Magnus turned to look at Alec right in the eyes. ''Oh the little bastard, Jace told you ? I'm not even surprised !''

Magnus winced, he was uncomfortable. Chairman Meow came to his rescue by jumping on Alec's lap who was pleasantly surprised.

''He missed you, '' murmured Magnus carefully avoiding the stare of Alec. ''Look, I ...''

''I'm not mad.''

Magnus raised his eyes which shone with a glimmer of hope.

''I know very well what people think of me the first time...,'' muttered Alec.

A particularly bloody scream startled them, Magnus took the remote and turned off the TV.

''Are you sure you don't want to watch Brokeback Mountain ?''

''I said no !''

Magnus brought the subject up while they ate.

''I won't make my coming out,'' Alec said firmly. ''It was not expected that you and Izzy know about it.''

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, annoyed.

''It's not so complicated: you're gay. ''

''I don't have to brag about it.''

''Why are you so stubborn?''

''Why do you care ?''

Magnus gritted his teeth and grabbed his glass of wine with a sudden gesture.

''And what are you going to do? Go out with a girl ?''

''I'm not so cruel, '' said Alec in a wounded tone. ''I'll do nothing...except waiting to be reincarnated,'' he muttered to himself.

Magnus chuckled. ''What will I do with you Alexander ? '' he whispered tenderly.

*

Alec was less uncomfortable with Magnus, as he had witnessed his anger and his annoyance. This Magnus was more human, and it reassured him. He had a truer representation of the character that was Magnus Bane and could discern him better. They were getting along way better than before except when Alec's homosexuality was mentioned, as if it would make him accept it more easily and as if to exorcise the fact that he was still in the closet.

Alec was still hiding at Magnus parties, he felt he would struggle to reconnect with Ragnor, Catarina and Clary. Izzy gently patted his back when Clary approached them with a smile.

''Why is she happy?'' asked Alec.

Izzy rolled his eyes. ''When I told you they were mad at you it was a bit exaggerated Alec, why would they hate you?''

''But...''

''I'm glad you reconciled with Magnus,'' Clary said searching for someone. ''Honestly, I don't know who missed you the most between Magnus and Chairman Meow.''

''Jace is not here,'' Izzy announced which made her blush.

''He won't be long,'' Alec said. ''He told me that he'd come.''

''Not to this party Alec,'' Izzy sighed.

''Why ?''

Clary stopped Magnus who was passing by. ''Where's Jace? ''

Magnus shrugged. ''This rat is fine where he is !''

Alec's eyes narrowed. ''What did he do ?''

''Apart from his dispute with Clary, he did nothing,'' commented Izzy staring at Magnus with a raised eyebrow. Magnus carefully avoided her gaze. ''Love makes you really stupid,'' she blurted out mockingly.

Alec frowned. ''Yo'u'e together ?''

Clary winced and shook her head. ''No, why ? Did he say something ?''

Puzzled, Alec turned to Izzy, thinking he had made a mistake but Izzy was too busy facing Magnus who seemed uncomfortable. ''Seriously Magnus?'' she whispered. ''You act like an idiot ! Pull yourself together !''

''Is there a problem ?'' asked Clary.

Magnus carefully avoided Alec's gaze and rolled his eyes. ''No, tell Jace he's no longer banned !'' he growled with a hand movement.

Izzy had a smile of triumph and took out her phone from her bra. ''So,'' she asked Clary. ''Why did you have fight? ''

''Because he said that if Alec wasn't here it was Magnus' fault and I doubt it was because Magnus had no valid reason to hurt Alec, right ? she said to Alec who didn't try to contradict her.

Alec smiled, Jace knew him well. Magnus certainly had heard what Jace had said and didn't appreciate it, knowing him. That explained everything quite a lot.

He took refuge in the kitchen with Chairman Meow purring in his arms, Simon was reading him the lyrics of his new song, sitting on the new table.

''Boys,''called out a smiling Catarina. ''Come and socialize! We're waiting for you !''

Alec made the same wince as Simon, letting Chairman Meow go. Jace was finally here, with Clary both of them were stupidly smiling. Simon groaned, shoulders hunched.

''Fortunately Magnus is here to get you out of your closet,'' joked Ragnor looking at him with amusement.

Magnus snorted. ''Which one?'' he asked sarcastically with a defiant look.

Alec gritted his teeth and glared at Magnus who supported his glance with a mischievous smile. Izzy narrowed her eyes and looked at Magnus with exasperation. Alec preferred to leave them hoping that nobody else understood the hint and stuck himself against the wall, sighing.

''Everything's okay with Clary? '' he asked Jace who was leaning against the same wall casually.

''And you with Magnus? ''

''I'm not sure,'' he muttered, meeting the stare of Magnus who smiled slyly.

''Give him a fuck,'' suggested Jace. ''I can do this for you if you want, '' he said, raising his hand.

''Jace! ''

''I'm kidding.''

Alec looked up to the ceiling.

''Izzy said it was thanks to you that I could come back, so thank you.''

''I haven't done anything,'' retorted Alec. ''It's Izzy and Magnus who...''

Jace snorted. ''Come on! I still don't know what I did, you know, he refuses to tell me...,'' he growled. ''I'm sure there's no reason and that he regrets ! I don't know how you manage to get along with him!''

''Not that well, '' Alec protested weakly.

''You're so different, and yet...'' marveled Jace shaking his head. ''I hope you'll have a good influence on him and his mood swings.''

Jace smiled and patted his arm. Alec pushed him away, horrified at the idea that someone saw them so closed, which made Jace laugh. It had been a while since Alec was against a wall observing others. A caramel hand and adorned with rings appeared with red juice. Alec didn't take it and examined the content.

''Jace's blood,'' Magnus joked. ''It's drinkable!''

''What did he do to you ?''

Magnus comically twisted his mouth. ''Not much,'' he admitted. ''But I have my reasons !''

Alec gave him a skeptical glance and took the glass whereas Magnus was happily staring at his guests. Alec sincerely wondered what had happened between him and Jace, they got along quite well before, at least they left this impression. He thought back about their argument where Jace's name had been mentioned and had even been the trigger.

Magnus suddenly said something, too low for Alec to understand. He turned to Magnus who leaned closer to repeat what he had said. Their mouth brushed. Alec blinked, taken aback. His lips were on the chin and lower lip of Magnus, who slightly taller, had his on his upper lip and the space between his mouth and his nose. Magnus had literally frozen and was not moving. Alec was the first to react and pulled away as if he had burned himself.

''Sorry,'' he whispered mortified, running away in the kitchen.

His heart was madly pounding and his brain was quite confused, he leaned against the fridge and buried his head in his hands. _This was only a kiss_ , tried to think Alec, it _was high time for you to know what it was !_ Then, _but not like this, nor with Magnus !_ He sighed and looked at the ceiling, until Magnus made his entrance with a worried look. He put down his glass on the table and approached Alec with a determined walk. The latter foolishly believed that he was going to apologize too, but Magnus had something else in mind. He was too close, their bodies touched, Magnus took Alec's face in his hands and kissed him softly and gently. Alec stared at Magnus with dismay, his arms dangling. Then, three things struck him when Magnus kissed him: his rings were cold, his lips warm and his eyes held as many yellow as green.

It was a simple kiss, just lips pressing against his at first. Then, there were many others, longer, more passionate and more languid which demanded more action and more control. And Alec still didn't know how to react. He didn't know what to do.

''Let's tell our first kiss was this one and not the silly accident before, it was nothing, nothing at all. What do you think ?'' Magnus murmured between two kisses.

The problem was that Alec couldn't think at all. He gave a strangled noise.

''I...I don't know, I can't think straight...you're confusing me,'' he managed to say against Magnus' mouth.

Alec felt his smile on his lips.

''I'll make you out of your closet Alexander,'' promised Magnus, kissing him one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, what do you think ? I giggled a lot when I wrote this chapter and behaved like a seal ! Hope I'll not be the only one!
> 
> I'm sorry for the mistakes, as always. Next chapter, next Monday (I forgot to write it last time !) If I can, I'll try to update sooner but I can't promise anything so, sorry and wait ! ;)


	5. Sense vs Sensibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and the kudos ! xxx
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than the others !

Alec had been kissed. Never he would have thought having his first kiss with Magnus. He was curiously jaded and calm, for now. Certainly because he was 23 years old. Alec had this strange sensation when he rethought about it that made him unwilling to rethink about it at all.

He could feel Magnus' eyes on him and did his best to avoid it. He didn't know how to react. At first, he had thought it was a joke but Magnus had been a little too passionate. He wanted to know why, and Magnus seemed ready to tell him but Alec wasn't ready.

All his mind was upside down, Alec groaned. Izzy looked at him anxiously.

''Are you okay Alec ? You're all red and you have glitter on your mouth, '' she noticed with a frown.

''He's in shock,'' Magnus clarified with a grin before taking him by the arm. ''We need to talk,'' he whispered in his ear.

Alec froze, threw a panicked look at Izzy who smiled and waved her hand. They went out on the balcony and Magnus closed the door to give them some privacy. For a short moment, Alec considered the idea of jumping.

''Don't,'' Magnus muttered with amusement. ''I'm beginning to know you quite well Alexander and I congratulate myself for that. You're less and less a mystery for me... By the way, I'm surprised that you're still here and didn't run away, not that you didn't want it...''

Alec was uncomfortable, Magnus smiled to soothe him but his eyes had that gleam Alec couldn't identify.

''Why did you kiss me ?''

Magnus gently smiled. ''Why would I have kissed you ?''

He noticed the doubts on Alec's face and felt obliged to explain. ''I'm not making fun of you.''

Alec was puzzled, he stared at Magnus' face for clues. ''But why, we're so different, almost incompatible.''

Magnus flinched and arched an eyebrow. ''I think you and I suit each other,'' he confessed.

 _Since when ?_ Alec wondered, beset by conflicting emotions.

''Don't you want to know since when I'm interested in you ?''

Alec flushed. ''Not since our first meeting, that's for sure,'' he whispered.

''No, it's true. It just goes to show that nothing's impossible,'' Magnus marveled.

They turned in one and same motion when Ragnor slid the balcony door. Alec sighed in relief and took the opportunity to escape, as always.

''Alec ?''

He bumped into a worried Jace.

''Where are you going ?''

''I'm going back, I...need to think.''

 

He received a text later.

**The Glittery One**

_Escape is not a solution._

Alec threw his phone through the room.

 

He was so confused that he couldn't read his book. Alec was on the same page for an hour, and each time he was reading what he had already read. Magnus, without being here, disturbed his reading.

From time to time he was rethinking about their kiss, the memory still vivid in his mind and on his lips. It was quite surprising that Magnus was interested in him, or even unlikely. Alec didn't understand. They were like the day and the night. Magnus was the Sun and Alec... what was he then ? The Moon ? More a dwarf planet in another galaxy, so not really made for each other. Magnus was too handsome, too confident, and loved to attract people's attention too much for him. He sighed and kept his eyes shut. He didn't know what to think anymore, his life seemed so much easier before meeting him.

*

The confrontation came later, Magnus had left him enough time to reflect on the recent events. The situation was at the epitome of awkwardness, even with Chairman Meow nestled in his lap. And Magnus fixing him with his clear eyes was not helping at all.

''What were you expecting ?'' Alec finally asked softly.

Magnus tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. ''What do you think ?''

''That's why you asked me about Jace ? And that you're insisting so much about...my coming out ?''

Magnus didn't bother to answer, and filled a glass of wine. It was only nine in the morning.

''For you ?''

''Seems that you have given much thought to it, Alexander.''

Alec didn't notice the sarcasm, he was in an unfamiliar situation. He didn't know how to handle it.

''Are you telling me that you're not interested in me?'' Magnus asked in a low voice, leaning against a piece of furniture.

Alec didn't say a word, Chairman Meow gave him a paw as if he was also waiting for his answer. He didn't like Magnus, he was sure of it ... but he felt flattered that someone like him was interested in _someone like him_ , but Alec was still wary because why Magnus Bane would suddenly be attract to Alec Lightwood ? It wasn't serious.

Magnus gritted his teeth and threw at him an annoyed look. ''Then... why did you kiss me back ?''

Alec froze and looked up at him. ''I didn't !''

''You did, you kissed me back !'' Magnus insisted under the bewildered look of Alec who was now standing.

''I did not kiss you back !'' he mouthed panicking. How could he be credible in these conditions?

Magnus coldly smirked and came closer. ''You're trying to reject me only because you're scared.''

''Stop making that face !'' Alec hissed on an aggressive tone. ''You're always making that face...''

Magnus frowned. ''What face ?''

''The one with your contempt...I hate it when you do that !''

Magnus raised his eyebrows and his contemptuous expression deepened. ''You don't like it ?'' he hissed. ''I don't like it too when you're making that face, when you're wondering if people are laughing at you ! I'm not making fun of you !''

Alec noticed they already behaved like an old couple, mutually shooting deadly arrows which activated some poison.

''I always feel that you're making fun of me with your comments and the way you're looking at me sometimes...Everything seems to be a joke for you ! You're always flirting, laughing as if...''

''So what ?'' yelled Magnus for the first time. ''I'm flirting with you because I'm attracted to you !''

Alec blushed and did his best not to stammer. ''You're selfish, you don't care about what I want and what I think as long as everything is going your way.''

Magnus huffed and emptied his glass in one gulp. ''You're scared and you're a coward Alexander, even I wonder why the hell I'm interested in you ! And yet, I want to try !''

Alec flinched under Magnus' stare full of coldness. ''I don't !'' he weakly protested. ''We're too different and we have different values. And, I told you I can't be... Magnus, why would I give up what's right for me ? Are you even worth it ?'' 

A flash of pain crossed Magnus' yellow eyes who seemed genuinely hurt by what he had just said. Alec felt guilty and thought for a brief moment to apologize but he had to be persuasive.

''If you really care about me and if you were really interested in me, you would accept me as I am,'' he whispered in a painful tone and winced when he realized what he had just said .

''You mean closeted ?'' asked coldly Magnus who had regained his composure.

Alec shuddered and realized that Magnus wasn't exactly ready to accept him as he was... and he actually had considered the possibility of being with Magnus. _I contradict myself_ , he thought anxiously watching him with his blue eyes.

Magnus stood still, his horrified gaze fixed on a point behind Alec who turned around.

''Since when are you here ?'' Magnus abruptly asked Clary who didn't know where to look and go.

Alec experienced a flood of negative emotions while staring at Clary.

''I'm sorry,'' she murmured, carefully avoiding looking at Alec in the eye. ''Mom asked me to bring you her paint so...''

Magnus was now gazing at Alec with concern and stepped forward. Alec stepped back.

''Everything is going wrong since I met you,'' he simply stated.

Magnus seemed so hurt that Alec shriveled and left the room without looking at Clary and Chairman Meow.

''I'm so sorry Magnus, I swear I...'' stuttered Clary watching him go. ''Alec...''

''It's not your fault,'' Magnus muttered.

And Alec closed the door behind him. He couldn't breath, as always with Magnus.

*

Alec tended to isolate himself from the others when he found himself in an impasse, and that's what he did. He had to analyze the situation. Admitting that he was attracted by Magnus, Alec didn't want to move away from the right path and give up the life he had carefully built around the contract. He had spun a web around it and everything was fine until now, before Magnus broke it, and that Clary witnessed it. His life had become quite chaotic.

''I'm so messed up...'' he muttered to himself noticing that without his father, this stupid contract and his lack of confidence, he would have considered the possibility of going out with Magnus, even to try. He collapsed on the couch and stared at the ceiling in a daze and felt guilty for thinking of Magnus as a way to escape his feelings for Jace. He winced painfully, Jace had always been special...Magnus didn't deserve that. It was better to isolate himself from the world for the time being in order to find a way out of this downward spiral.

 

And fortunately for him, there was Max. Alec laughed incredulously.

''You ran away from home ?'' he asked more seriously.

Max was choosing a book carefully. Alec couldn't help looking at him with a mixture of amazement and admiration.

''The parents were getting on my nerves,'' he answered simply in a jaded tone as if it was a sufficient reason for a thirteen-year-old runaway.

Alec looked at him dumbfounded. ''Someone knows ...''

''The point of a runaway Alec is that nobody knows when you left and where you are.''

 _Right_. Alec unfolded the couch. ''A few days, after go back.''

Max thanked him with a smile, but they both knew it wouldn't last. Alec ignored the bothering calls from his parents, Max did the same.

''I'd like to go far away from here,'' muttered Max wrapped up in his blanket.

''Me too,'' said Alec, sitting at his feet. ''What happened ?''

''Robert is always right even when he's wrong.''

Alec sadly smiled. ''When you'll go to school tomorrow, call them to say you're okay.''

Max groaned. ''Alec why don't you resigned ? And don't tell me you like working at Idris.''

Alec looked with a particular attention the curls of smoke escaping from his cup. '' Well, Robert has some expectations from me and I don't want to disappoint him ... and honestly, if I didn't accept my fate, you'd have seen yourself in Idris ?''

Max winced. ''Thank you for your sacrifice then, anyway he wouldn't have the patience to wait until I grow up ... Still, it's strange that Izzy and Jace are this carefree...don't you think ?''

Alec's eyes widened, frightened by his little brother's intuition.

''They can do whatever they want ! Even I ! Robert didn't say anything when I told him I wanted to be a ballerina, I was joking of course. Whereas you...''

''You think too much Max, I'm working for him, that's what he wanted from me, it's normal if he's not expecting anything from all of you.''

Max snorted. ''Alec we're talking about Robert ! Why would he leave us alone ? It's weird !''

Alec tried to keep a straight face. ''Then what ? You can do everything you want, it's great.''

''What about you ?''

''I had the misfortune to be born first, that's it, no need to make a fuss. Go to sleep. ''

''Good night,'' growled Max.

The next morning, they were surprised to see Robert on the doorstep. He pushed Alec and unceremoniously entered the apartment with a suspicious look.

''I was sure you would come here,'' he hissed. ''Get your stuff and let's go.''

Alec and Max looked at each other.

''He can stay, '' Alec intervened.

''He won't stay, running away is not a solution. Max hurry up !''

''Call me,'' Alec whispered to his little brother who was picking up the bag he didn't have time to unpack.

Before Robert left, Alec grabbed his arm. ''Don't be too hard on him.''

His father had an incredulous smile. ''Why would I be hard on him ? There is no reason as long as you respect your commitments. See you at the office !''

*

Simon gave him an amused look.

''It's a roller coaster right now between you and Magnus, a real melodrama !''

Alec stopped stirring his coffee ans stared at him, blankly. ''What ?''

''You had a fight again...you're not coming anymore and I'm surprised you agreed to have a drink with me whereas you don't have enough time in your hands to see Izzy and Jace...so you quarreled with each other ?''

''No.''

''Do you want to talk about it ?'' he asked hopefully.

''No.''

''Okay, you have the right to remain silent but come to my concert this weekend, you promised to come next time, it will get you out.''

Simon spoke of many things that Alec listened with half an ear, noticing with relief that Clary didn't say anything.

 

''Where're the others  ?'' he asked surprised the day of his concert, in a local pub.

But he was reassured and felt silly for having prepared in advance apologies.

''They had better things to do, even Clary... But they promised they'd come next time,'' growled Simon.

''Clary and Jace seem rather close.''

Simon froze. ''Yeah, even too close. She likes him, and it's mutual. ''

''They're still not together ?''

Simon didn't answer and looked suspiciously at him. ''You can tell that...''

Alec seriously nodded, they were quite alike.

Simon sighed. ''Let's get it off our chests after ?'' he casually asked.

Alec accepted and pressed himself against a wall. He didn't particularly like this style of music, but it seemed to please people. He got slightly bored and waited for Simon to finish his talk with his band mates before joining him.

''Do you want to talk about it ?'' he asked to Simon who smirked.

''Yup, but before let's have a drink !''

 

''She doesn't know that I love her...and then he showed up ! He separated us forever,'' Simon lamented, referring to Jace.

''You wanted to tell her ?''

Simon smiled sadly. ''I don't know, but I gave up... It would have ruined our friendship...''

Alec nodded, he could easily identify himself in Simon. Clary was to him what Jace was to him, and there was a little of Magnus.

''And,'' he began. ''Have you thought about being interested in someone else to forget her?''

Simon blinked and sat up. ''Of course ! But I have no one...I only ask for that and move on!''

''Don't you think it's rude for the other ? To be used as a substitute.. ''

''No, it's human, I think. But the best thing to do is to talk about that to the other.''

Simon leaned abruptly, readjusted his glasses and squinted. ''You look too understanding... you have a similar experience ?''

Alec avoided his gaze. ''Kind of.''

Simon grinned. ''I always knew that you and me we had so much in common ! You want to talk about it?''

''No.''

''You're acting tough but it won't last, you'll eventually open up to me ! It's only a matter of time, '' he promised with a grin.

 _It's only a matter of time applies to everything in my life_ , Alec thought bitterly.

Simon was quickly drunk and sang the sad story of a papaya, singing to anyone who would listen, under the stunned gaze of Alec who took him home. He laughed on his way home, feeling slightly better and decided that it was high time he stopped ignoring Izzy and Jace's messages.

''I saw you,'' Alec said to Izzy who had tried to hide in order to scare him.

She arched an eyebrow. '' I wanted to have revenge to make you understand my worries. It's been two weeks Alec, I began to worry.''

''I needed to think and I told you I was still alive. ''

''Be happy it's only me, Jace wanted to come with a bazooka and break down your door. I hope you got enough thought, '' she grumbled, looking at him with concern.

Alec inserted the key in the lock and Izzy pushed the door with her shoulder.

'' I sleep here tonight. ''

Alec smiled, he didn't see things differently.

 

''Magnus still refuses to say anything, except that it's his fault ... So?''

''So what ?'' he asked stupidly.

''Alec !'' she said with exasperation ''Talk to me !''

''I'm talking to you.''

''What happened, I want to know !'' she whined, shaking his arm.

Alec gave her an annoyed look and went out of her reach. ''He ... he ... ''

''He... ? Magnus ? Magnus did what Alec ?'' she urged him, hanging on his lips.

''We had a fight,'' he said pitifully torn between the desire to trust her and to flee far away.

Izzy gave him a dismayed look. ''I know you had a fight, tell me why ! Is...it for the same reason that the first time? ''

''More or less,'' he admitted softly.

Izzy sat closer, she felt her victory close. ''And ?''

Alec didn't develop, looking at his hands, Izzy snorted. ''Come on Alec it's not like... Alec ! Don't tell me he kissed you ! He kissed you ? Oh my God, Alec !''

Then she squealed and jumped up, euphoric. Alec suddenly raised his head and looked at his sister bewildered. Her instinct was really scary, he thought about lying but was too slow to react. Izzy was moving on already.

''He couldn't resist you then ? He likes you ! It's obvious !''

Alec stared at her anxiously. ''Really ?''

He didn't notice, nothing at all before the kiss. He felt bad, almost uncomfortable and unworthy of such an interest from Magnus.

''Of course idiot ! He looks at you with small hearts in the eyes ! We must make use of it and turn them into big hearts !'' she giggled, mimicking small hearts in her eyes. ''You're dating now ? Tell me you're dating him !''

She seemed unusually excited and Alec stared at her with incredulity. She seemed happy for him, but for what ? Magnus' interest for him ? She didn't understand that he couldn't.

''Alec,'' said Izzy in a concerned tone. ''Do you like him? ''

''Why ?''

She winced hearing his aggressive tone. ''What are you afraid of ? Tell me...''

''Izzy...I can't, that's all.''

''Because of Jace ?'' she asked, frowning. ''Or you don't want to ?''

Alec stood up, trying to escape.

''Alec, being gay is not a disease ! Love yourself as you are ! Maybe Magnus can help you ? He likes you ...'' she suggested.

''Stop talking about Magnus, I don't want to speak about it, '' he growled locking himself in the bathroom.

''But... you're coming to Simon's concert ? Magnus will be there too, you have to talk to him.''

Alec sighed and took his toothbrush. ''I will, but if you say his name again I throw you out !''

''Don't you dare! ''

Alec rolled his eyes. ''And I'm big enough to take care of myself !''

''Sometimes I'm not sure about it ! '' joked Izzy against the door.

 

''Alec ?''

''Sleep Izzy !''

''How was your first kiss ?'' she asked with a squeal. ''Tell me.''

Alec let out a sigh of frustration and threw at her his pillow. 

*

Clary seemed smaller than usual, Alec noticed not without feeling guilty. Maybe because he could glare aggressively sometimes. He did his best to avoid looking at Magnus whereas Izzy patted his arm in a comforting gesture. And Jace threw him a suspicious look.

''Still alive ?''

''Seems so,'' he whispered.

Jace huffed and joined Clary and Catarina at their table. Simon was already on stage, waving his hand at Alec.

''I don't know what happened between you two,'' said Ragnor. '' But please don't fight. ''

''I don't want to hit Alexander,'' smirked Magnus. ''But maybe he does.''

''I don't,'' protested the latter with a frown, sitting at a table.

Magnus sat next to him and gave him an orange juice. When Alec looked up he saw the mocking gaze of Ragnor on Magnus who was acting as if he didn't see it. Izzy sat beside Ragnor and quietly patted Alec's knee under the table.

Alec did his best to ignore his presence, which was not mature, but given the circumstances and the awkwardness which was at its maximum... Furthermore, Clary and Catarina were checking on them occasionally. The more he thought about it, the more he felt ill.

''I'm going outside,'' he whispered to Izzy.

There were too many people and he certainly reached his highest level of stress. His heart was beating too fast and his breathing was not following. He caught the worried look of his sister who was half up, ready to follow him.

''I'll be fine.''

The fresh air cooled him down and Alec hesitated to go back inside. He could go home directly and pretend discomfort or something. He remained a long time leaning against the wall, weighing the pros and cons. And as the majority of cons prevailed, Alec went inside and crashed into someone.

''I thought you had decided to run away,'' murmured Magnus.

''I wanted to,'' Alec admitted keeping his eyes lowered.

Then he noticed that Magnus was dressed way too sophisticated for such a place and smiled quietly. Magnus gently lifted his head.

''Let's talk Alexander,'' he muttered. ''I don't really care about Simon, not that his band is bad but it's not my style, and I came only for you. Simon told me you'd come...and Izzy too.''

Alec did his best to not look away, he cleared his throat. ''Where? ''

A gleam of relief passed through Magnus' eyes. ''We could lock ourselves in the toilet as you like to hide, and I'm not against the idea to hide with you, but we could get out and go somewhere else, what do you think ?''

''Somewhere else.''

''Good choice.''

Alec smiled, which made Magnus smiled.

 

''I'm amazingly patient with you,'' Magnus confessed. ''I usually want to solve the problem right away, all the time, but when I'm with you..everything is going wrong. I don't know how to deal with it, and I behave like a jerk.''

Alec stirred his coffee in a daze. ''Did I really kiss you back ?''

Magnus blinked. ''Yes, I can show you how,'' he joked before his expression became serious. ''What if...I was willing to accept you as you are? '' he asked quietly.

Alec froze, wondering if he had heard correctly.

''Does it change something or you don't like me at all ? ''

''I...I don't know.''

Magnus moved closer. ''What do you feel right now Alexander ?''

Alec blinked and cleared his throat. ''I feel...confused, flattered, confused, perplexed, anxious, confused, scared and curious.''

''Curious,'' Magnus repeated with a raised eyebrow. ''Do you want to develop that curiosity with me ?'' he asked with a grin.

Alec's heart fluttered and he felt an awful heat spread in his face.

''I'm serious,'' clarified Magnus with a frown. ''With you I'm serious even if I'm flirting and... I care about you even if you had the impression that I bossed you around. I know I can be selfish and self-centered sometimes, that's why I'm sorry Alexander, if I hurt you, I didn't want to I swear.''

''I owe you an apology too,'' mumbled Alec noticing that Magnus had analyzed his behavior toward him.

''Yeah, you did hurt me,'' he stated with a wry smile. ''It's scary to see how we manage to hurt each other !''

''It's not a good sign.''

Magnus blinked and frowned. ''I beg to differ.''

''And if it's only curiosity ? Just out of curiosity and nothing else ?'' asked Alec.

Magnus smirked. ''This is a good start and I will be satisfied with it, for now. But honestly, you think that nothing will grow Alexander ? Really ? '' Magnus asked with an elegant wave of his hand.

''So... it's enough for a date ? ''

Magnus smiled fondly, a spark of amusement in his eyes. ''You're too pure Alexander, I'll fix it..''

''And if..''

''And if you kiss me ?'' Magnus suggested, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Alec blinked and looked stupidly at him, wondering if he was joking.

''I'm serious but as you're wondering if I'm joking or not, I'll say that I'm teasing you... So, want to go on a date with me ? To see if we're made for each other ?''

Magnus was looking at him with a straight face. Alec wondered what it would cost a simple date with Magnus and scolded himself for even thinking about it. He frowned, plagued by an internal conflict. Magnus realized it and brushed his hand.

''You have the right to refuse... I won't blame you, well, maybe a little ... but what would it cost you to quit your right path for once ?'' Magnus anxiously asked.

 _If you knew_ , he bitterly thought. Magnus was still staring at him as if his eyes held a persuasive power.

''Nobody will know.''

Alec lost himself for a moment in Magnus' eyes, maybe they really had some power. Magnus was ready to make efforts for him, just for him which astonished and flabbergasted Alec.

''Just one ?'' he asked to be sure.

Magnus snorted. ''Seriously...I'll make you ask for a second date.''

Magnus brightly smiled, he looked happy and Alec was glad to be the reason. But it was brief, the contract poisoning his mind. What if his father found out ? Magnus was a hurricane, the wind was strong enough to make him deviate from his right path.

''I'm selfish too,'' Alec muttered to himself.

''It's good to be selfish sometimes Alexander.''

 _But I can't be selfish_ , he wanted to say but the words died on his lips when he met the gaze of Magnus. Alec wondered if it was the look with small hearts that Izzy was talking about.

''You're shaking up everything, '' said Alec in a whisper.

''I like to have an effect,'' declared Magnus. ''What about Friday ?''

''Where ?''

''Somewhere, it will be a surprise.''

''So we'll go on a date ? We're...what are we now ?

''We're two amazing persons who want to discover each other.''

''And what will we do ?''

''What people do on a date.''

''Like...''

''Like it will be your first date and I don't want to ruin everything just because you're looking at me this way so I'm not telling you !'' Magnus said.

Alec narrowed his eyes. Magnus smiled and brushed his cheek thoughtfully. The touch was brief but enough to keep away the contract and his father from his mind.

And yet, Alec wondered if he wasn't going to regret this moment of weakness that had become Magnus. This thought became an affirmation, a certainty, Alec was going to regret it, it was only a matter of time. Magnus was a hurricane that destroyed everything in his path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter next Monday, named Curiosity killed the cat !
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes as always ! :)


	6. Curiosity killed the cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, the kudos and the comments ! :)

Robert Lightwood was smiling, it was not a good sign.

''I thought you were smarter than that.''

Alec blinked and felt the noose tightening. He was screwed, he knew it.

''When you told me you wanted to take care of contracts,'' he tried to remind him.

Alec still didn't understand. His father rolled his eyes.

''Don't take me for an idiot, I know what you're up to. You're searching for a solution to avoid your obligations like trying to get familiar with contracts.''

Alec looked at his father with astonishment. Never he had thought of that, he was ready to swear on his siblings's life. Robert was convinced to be right and he was right even when he was wrong. But Alec was so relieved to have been only summoned for that and not for his future date with Magnus, he didn't even contradict him.

''You'll be again considered as a intern, you will make photocopies and coffee for your colleagues. ''

Alec was pretty sure he was also punished because of Donovan.

He tried to look upset, he'll get bored to death at the photocopier but could always bring a book. He did his best not to appear too cheerful. The punishment was not so terrible.

*

Alec looked at Magnus with amazement. He was more standing out like a sore thumb beside him and wanted to disappear, Magnus was very attractive and knew it. The latter smiled seeing him coming closer. Alec suddenly felt like running away, wishing he hadn't accepted a date with him.

''You look frightened !'' joked Magnus.

 _ _Not far from the truth__ , thought Alec holding his breath. Magnus was still smiling and took him to the surprise.

''I love this place, I go there often with friends and for work,'' Magnus explained by looking out at him of the corner of his eye.

Alec nodded and followed him strangely recognizing the avenue and the surprise. He tensed up, what were the chances to have a date with Magnus in the same fancy restaurant where his father brought him each time to make reproaches and where they had signed the contract ?

''Did you reserved?'' he asked in a choked voice.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. ''You always have to make a reservation to eat there, you don't like this place ?''

Alec blinked, concerned about the turn of events and stared at Magnus anxiously. If he said that he didn't really like this gourmet restaurant Magnus would find him more weirder than he was. And because he didn't go out that much, he couldn't suggest another place to go and eat, their date were likely to be canceled. And both would be equally awkward with the other. He didn't know what to do.

''Magnus, can we go somewhere else ?''

The latter frowned slightly. Alec could already imagine himself bumping into his father having to explain why he was there with Magnus, and screw up his own life and his siblings'.

''Why ? This restaurant is very good. ''

Magnus looked slightly worried.

''My father is a regular.''

''Oh...you think he'll be here ?''

''I don't really want to check if he'll be inside. ''

Magnus snorted. ''Neither do I ... you have a place where we could go then ?''

Alec didn't answer, surprised and happy at the same time that Magnus was this conciliatory.

Magnus smirked. '' Let's see it's Friday evening, restaurants are crowded, streets too, so what about my place ? ''

Alec stared at him and agreed, he would see Chairman Meow like this.

''Perfect !''

The context was different now, Alec didn't really feel comfortable sitting on the sofa. Magnus gave him, as usual, a fruit juice and grabbed his tabby cat.

''This is the first I invite someone I have a first date with at my place,'' Magnus said in a light tone, sitting next to him.

And Alec was grateful, he knew he would rather be here than outside exposed for all to see. He didn't dare to look up, Magnus was watching him and he didn't know what to do. He regretted for not having looked on Internet how to make conversation or how a date occurred.

''I'm not going to eat you, at least not right now. ''

Alec looked up and saw Magnus was having fun.

''I'm serious.''

Alec narrowed his eyes and drank his juice. ''What are we supposed to do now ?''

Magnus chuckled. ''First you'll help me with our dinner, and we'll talk after, even if we still can talk while we'll cook.''

 

''You're scared of your father,'' commented Magnus sipping his wine.

Alec putting his fork down. ''He's scary, for me.''

''You didn't want him to see us if he was there ? Because he's homophobic ? He will imagine that you go out with any man you're with ?''

Alec took a sip of his orange juice. ''I was eighteen when he took me to this restaurant to tell me I was a monster,'' he whispered. '' He also accused Jace for making me, you know, so yes I didn't want to go inside with you, it would have been too ironic.''

Magnus stopped chewing and looked at him with yellow eyes. ''I understand better. And poor little Jace, too charming for his own good ! He's living a good life, don't you think?'

Alec didn't answer and continued to eat in silence.

''Secrets don't last long with me, '' Magnus said. '' I will make you spit them out.''

Alec looked up. ''I don't have secrets.''

''Everyone does Alexander, it's only a matter of time, the truth will always win out.''

''I don't understand what you're talking about,'' he retorted with a frown.

Magnus smiled and brushed his hand with the tips of his fingers. Alec's heart skip a beat and he just tried to breathe.

*

It didn't really feel like a date, but Alec was far from being an expert.

''I'm sorry.''

Magnus frowned.

''I know I suck at this kind of thing.''

Magnus smiled. ''Don't worry I'll make you used to it, sit next to me !'' he said, patting the sofa. ''I'm going to ask you questions, you answer and we switch after. ''

''What kind of questions ?'' he asked worried to be ridicule.

Magnus patted his knee affectionately. ''I won't test your IQ,'' he teased. ''Here my first question: how was your first kiss ?''

Alec's mind went blank, he couldn't answer surprised as he was. ''Next.''

''If you can't answer you drink !'' he smirked handing him his own glass of wine.

Alec winced and took it, Magnus' grin widened. ''Sharing a glass is not that bad... Do you prefer juice ?'' he teased.

Magnus refilled the glass but this time with juice. '' I don't want you to be drunk too fast. ''

''Does this mean you will ask similar questions ?''

''Obviously !''

Alec took a big breath.

''So, how was your first kiss ?''

Alec rolled his eyes. ''I hope the questions are restricted...''

''We have all night Alexander, all night,'' Magnus insisted with a grin.

''I don't know, I didn't have time to think about it,'' he quavered.

''You're a bad liar, it's what I like about you, so ?''

Magnus knew when he was lying ? Alec winced, wondering what betrayed him.

He chuckled. ''Your eyes and your voice.''

Alec thought about shutting his eyes for a moment but it would be weird.

''I don't think words can describe it,'' he finally said.

''Am I that good at kissing ?'' asked Magnus falsely surprised.

Alec blinked. ''It's not what I meant.''

Magnus snorted. ''I'll show you,'' he murmured with fondness. ''Handsome as you are I'm sure someone asked you out so...who ?''

''I don't know who you're talking about.''

''A guy with blue eyes sitting next to me who said something incredibly stupid.''

Alec narrowed his eyes and looked at him skeptically.

''I think you're handsome, '' Magnus insisted.

''Since when? '' asked reluctantly Alec.

''I've always found you handsome, I couldn't fight against it ! '' Magnus joked.

Alec still looked at with suspicion.

''So ?''

''No one, but Jace tried to set me up with some girls.''

''Jace can be so kind.''

Alec realized that mentioning his foster brother was not a good idea. Especially with their quarrels that haunted Magnus' living room.

''Your favorite color ?''

''Black ?''

''Pick an other one.''

''Black.''

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''It's not a color ! Whatever...when was your first kiss ?''

''Why are you so obsessed with it ?''

''I'm the chosen one to ask questions, so ?''

''Few weeks ago... ?''

''With who ?''

''You know.''

Magnus smirked and raised an eyebrow. ''I'm dying to hear it from you.''

''This person literally attacked me against the fridge, I remember glitter, a lot of glitter. I'm sure you know who is he.''

Magnus narrowed his eyes in a please expression. ''I admit I used a lot of glitter and I didn't attack you, I was more...overwhelmed with passion !''

Alec softly smiled.

''Why are you scared of your father ?''

Magnus was walking on thin ice.

''I'm not really scared of him.''

Magnus snorted. ''You don't want to disappoint him, so you're wary of him and that's what making you scared of what he would think about you.''

''You know...the other day, he asked me about you as an investor, so if someday Jace or Izzy ask you something, don't be mad at them.''

Magnus raised his eyebrows. ''He's this kind of person ? And if you're the one to ask me something ?''

''I won't, I told him I didn't know you. So yes, he is this kind of person. Try to speak about him with Izzy and Jace and watch carefully their faces.''

Magnus tilted his head, staring at him. ''He's that bad ?''

Alec shrugged. Magnus came closer, their tighs were pressed together.

''So why are they so carefree, away from their scary dad when their brother is under his yoke ?''

Alec suddenly started thinking about Max and froze. He had a horrible feeling of déjà-vu.

''Alexander ?'' Magnus' voice was serious, his eyes devoid of their usual sparks of amusement.

''I'm just the oldest child that's all, nothing else.''

''Look at me.''

Alec didn't dare, especially if Magnus knew when he was lying. The latter sighed. ''I'm more and more curious to meet your dear father.''

Alec finally dare to look back at him in the eyes. Magnus gently smiled.

''What about your mother ? Is she like him ?''

Alec slightly frowned. ''Not really, she is softer, but she does as if she saw nothing. That's why we don't get along with her.''

And he realized that it has been a long time since he had been on the phone with her.

''Tell me about your tattoos,'' asked Magnus.

''What do you want to know ?''

''Everything about them.''

''Well, I have fourteen of them and I think I'll stop there.''

Magnus blinked. ''Be more talkative, or show me and explain them !''

''I won't !'' And under his stare added :''One day, maybe.''

Magnus smiled. ''In which circumstances ?'' he teased. ''If you can't answer drink.''

Alec drank.

Magnus knew everything there was to know about his life as there were not much to say and seemed extremely happy. Alec was relieved that Magnus didn't ask him anything about Jace or about his sexuality.

''Your turn,'' Magnus exclaimed a little too happily. ''And if you can't ask me anything you drink !''

Alec sighed. ''How did you feel the first time you went here in the United States ?''

Magnus seemed surprised. ''Free.''

''Don't you miss your native country ?''

''Not that much, what remorses are for ?''

''Why are you always drinking wine ?''

''Because I like it,'' he chuckled.

''Did you talk with Clary about me ?''

Magnus blinked. ''No and with no one, you and me we're a secret, as you wished !''

''Izzy knows.''

Magnus seemed really happy to learn that. ''And Jace ?''

''He has enough problems with Clary.''

''We're not a problem Alexander, you have a problem with yourself.''

Alec glared at him, annoyed. ''What was your first thought when you saw me ?''

Magnus threw himself on his wine which made Alec smiled.

''What about you ?''

''I'm the only one to ask questions.''

''Right, I'll tell you after then and you'll tell me ?''

''Maybe. You're really popular and a Lothario so...''

Magnus spat his wine. ''A Lothario ? Me ? Well..maybe, go on,'' he said with a hand movement.

''Are you trying to fill an emotional void?''

Magnus made a strangled sound. ''I am faithful if it's your question.''

''You didn't answer, drink.''

''I like to appeal people, for good reasons, but I don't think so. Don't cast doubt on my whole existence ! At worst... it's up to you to fill this emotional void Alexander,'' Magnus teased with a glittery wink.

''Chairman Meow is here for that. You remembered Simon's name last time so why are you always teasing him ?''

''He's fun to tease.''

''Do you remember your first kiss ?''

''I remember the last one.''

''With Chairman Meow ?''

Magnus' smile widened. ''I was talking about this one,'' he said leaning against him.

Alec felt the touch of his lips on the corner of his mouth, he didn't dare to move.

''And don't think I forgot our second date and that you'll have to ask for it, '' murmured Magnus.

''I won't.''

Magnus smiled. ''We'll see.''

Alec wondered what made him so confident, maybe he had a secret weapon.

''Why are you so confident ?''

''Because you're curious Alexander,'' murmured Magnus pushing one of his black locks on his forehead.

Alec felt slightly more vulnerable with his bare forehead. Magnus smiled.

''What if my curiosity is already satisfied ?''

''Really?'' snorted Magnus.

And he bent to kiss him again. Their noses brushed, Alec didn't push him away. He thought about it but they were in a private place, away from prying eyes, except from Chairman Meow, and it was not unpleasant. Magnus' tongue brushed his lips, making Alec opened his mouth instinctively. He slipped his hand into his back, under his shirt, and fondled him, whereas Alec grabbed the nape of his neck to deepen the kiss. He noticed, surprised, that everything happened automatically. He winced when Magnus bit his tongue a little too hard who apologized by kissing his chin, before taking again possession of his mouth.

And things ran out of control, their current position was not very comfortable, Alec tried to move and ended up to free his back from any support in order to touch each other more easily. Magnus fell on him, breathing heavily, disheveled, with bright eyes and bright lips, looking surprised.

''No longer curious you said ?'' he teased, kissing him back.

He was still on him but it didn't last, he lay on the side to release Alec and slipped an arm around his waist. Alec felt strangely good with his back against the cushions and Magnus facing him, it was almost scary. Magnus softly kissed his cheekbone and caressed his cheek with a smiling face.

Huddled against each other as they were, Alec felt good but began to feel guilty.

''I still don't know if we're made for each other, let's go on a real date next time,'' Magnus stated hoarsely.

Alec smiled. ''You said I would be the one to ask you out.''

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''You're more stubborn than I am, I know what I want, you don't, so it's decided. What about next Friday ?''

Alec wanted to say yes but the __but__ was still here.

''Where you want, I don't care,'' said Magnus.

Alec hesitated, looked at Magnus' lips and focused on the heat emanating from the arm around his waist. He knew he shouldn't have accept their first date, it was an endless spiral, he was trapped. __I lack the will above all__ , he thought.

''I'll call you,'' he muttered, cursing at himself inwardly.

''I knew you were too curious for your own good,'' smirked Magnus.

Alec wondered if he had happened to miss Magnus by a matter of minutes in the gourmet restaurant where his father and himself had their habits. But the __cursed restaurant__ , as was now calling it Magnus was huge enough for them to never have meet each other before.

*

His parents were late, usually they were always punctual, he looked at his watch and tried to not look too worried. Robert and Maryse finally arrived, they were arguing. As usual.

''Max asked me to give you this,'' Maryse said, giving him a bag full of books and by way of greetings.

Alec thanked her with a nod. His mother looked at him longer than necessary and sat without looking at her husband. They ate in silence.

''Jace and Izzy couldn't come? '' asked Robert.

''They had better things to do,'' concluded Maryse grabbing her glass of water.

Alec slightly frowned, his siblings were not required to attend family obligations, thanks to the contract he had signed. He wondered if they did it on purpose.

''How are things at the photocopier ?''

''Not bad I don't have much to think about.''

Robert smiled. ''Good, you'll stay there for a long time then.''

''Why are you working at the photocopier? '' his mother asked, frowning.

''He wasn't good and he must know all the positions inside Idris, it doesn't look like that but it's important.. Speaking of not being good, Max is too nosy. He went several times in my study...''

Alec froze and stared at his fork. ''Maybe he needs money.''

Robert smiled. ''He's looking for something but what ?''

''His father maybe,'' hissed Maryse getting up to answer a call.

Robert turned towards his son. ''I hope you didn't put it away anywhere, I know your siblings like hanging up with you at your place but...''

''What are you afraid of ?''

''I'm not afraid of anything, I did the contract for your own good, and I know very well what others would think.''

''I hid it in a safe place,'' Alec assured him.

His last hideout was the radiator in his room. He had to use cunning and was anxious time and time again when Jace came over and had cleaned his apartment.

''You're more reckless,'' commented Robert. ''I'm not sure to appreciate this change. I don't know why but I feel like you're escaping from me... I thought about future sanctions, I hope you didn't do anything to deserve them. ''

''The photocopier is not a sanction ?''

''No, that's too nice. This is a warning, I feel like you're too curious.''

Alec tensed up, Maryse returned to their table with a big grin. Robert was still smiling but with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

''The other day, an old friend introduced me to his daughter, a pretty and smart girl, she doesn't have a boyfriend. I thought that might be interesting, '' he announced on a light tone.

Alec narrowed his eyes and glared at him. ''I'm not interested,'' he mumbled.

''Why not ? It won't kill you one date !''

''Robert,'' said Maryse. ''We're in the 21st century you can't force him to go out with whoever you want... Is she from a good family ?''

''Yes,'' he snorted. ''And I won't force him, I'm advising him as he has no one.''

It strangely sounded like a second warning, Alec feverishly waited the follow-up.

''And you know this Magnus Bane,'' Robert stated finally.

''I do now,'' Alec retorted.

''For business I hope... this is an investor, a good investor, '' explained his father to Maryse.

Alec took a deep breath.

''Whether you like it or not, you have a date with this girl next Friday. ''

Alec blinked, events were taking a turn for the worse.

''This is my last warning,'' Robert whispered. ''Max is too curious, you too. And you lied to me about Magnus Bane. Next time, it will be Jace or Izzy or even both of them.''

Robert grabbed his arm. Alec winced, his father had a firm hand. ''You're gay,'' he hissed against his ear. ''I must remained cautious, she's a good girl.''

Alec gritted his teeth, Robert released him with a satisfied smile. He had just been again called to order and took refuge in the toilet to put order in his thoughts. He buried his head in his hands. He had to cancel with Magnus. He took out his phone and stared at it stupidly for a few minutes.

It was his voicemail, he almost sighed with relief.

''Hi Magnus, I told you that I'll call you and...I'm sorry but I can't for Friday, sorry.''

He hung up a little too abruptly and bit his lip. He was a little too harsh, he should have qualified his words. He washed his hands, deep in thoughts and didn't see immediately that his mother had just returned. He watched her through the mirror, startled.

''How are Izzy and Jace ?''

''They didn't reply ?''

Maryse washed her hands. ''Don't disappoint us Alexander, do your best to fulfill the expectations of your father, and tell your brother and your sister they spent too much this week, they have to call me back.''

Alec simply nodded, all his attention focused on his phone.

*

His phone rang, Alec groaned and felt around to find it in the dark. He had to open his eyes. __The Glittery One__.

''Why ?''

Alec gulped. ''Family stuff.''

The girl was the daughter of an old family friend, he wasn't lying.

''Then when ? And I'm talking about our date not my next party.''

Magnus didn't seem happy, Alec closed his eyes, ''I don't know, I'll be busy from now so...,'' he lied.

''You're trying to run away from me,'' stated Magnus. ''Something happened ?''

''No.''

''Alexander... ''

''I was too curious,'' he mumbled.

''What remorses are for ? We still have to check if we're made for each other and if you don't remember: you kissed me back and more, the other day.''

Alec cleared his throat. ''I remember.''

''I'll be waiting for your call, goodnight, dream of me tonight !''

Alec couldn't help but smile. ''I won't.''

And yet, he did, but couldn't remember if it was a dream or a nightmare.

*

''You and me it's not like before,'' said Jace, opening a beer.

Alec hummed overwhelmed by the cleanliness in his apartment. Jace narrowed his golden eyes.

''Alec, I don't know if you're already know but I think Magnus is interested in you, I mean sexually.''

The latter almost choked, surprised.

''Yeah I was also surprised...why Magnus would be attracted to you ?''

Alec nodded, Jace was thinking the same.

''Stay away from him, he's kind of...I don't know you're too good for him. I will protect you !'' he said in a victorious tone.

Alec blinked, he wanted to laugh and hit himself from embarrassment. __It's too late__ , he thought.

''Why are you smiling ? ''

''I'm not.''

''You are,'' smirked Jace. ''Stay with me at the party, I'll protect you from him, I saw the way he's looking at you.''

''You know he's bisexual right ?''

''Of course I do, I saw him one day with this guy, urgh...Anyway, not with you !''

''You don't like him ?''

''You forgot but he forbade me to come for a while, Clary said he was jealous !'' he hissed.

Alec looked up anxiously.

''I never wanted to put him in the shade, I swear, I know I'm too charming for my own good !''

Alec chuckled. ''Right.''

Everything was so more simple with Jace.

*

''Still okay for Saturday ? '' Magnus asked him softly in the entrance.

Alec nodded, smiled and Magnus' hand brushed his waist when he walked up to welcome his other guests.

''I'll protect you from his lustful eyes,'' said Jace.

''Protect Clary from yours first.''

Jace opened his mouth and grabbed his chin ''Was it sarcasm from your mouth ? Remember when Maryse told me to wash my mouth with soap when I used sarcasm with her ?''

Alec smiled, Jace really did when they were younger and spat bubbles after.

''I'll protect your purity Alec.''

''What about your brain ?'' asked Izzy pushing him away.

She was holding someone's arm, a man with an amazing body, she held out her glass to Jace and disappeared with her conquest. Alec followed them with his eyes whereas Jace covered them.

''Don't, you'll hurt yourself ! She just went in the kitchen with this guy, but everything can happen on a table !''

''I think Clary's here and with Simon.''

''Where ?''

''With Magnus and...'' began to say Alec. Magnus was already watching him, with a straight face, brows knit together.

''He hates me,'' grumbled Jace.

''Sorry,'' murmured Alec, before disappearing.

''Hey, I said I was going to protect you.''

Alec snorted, grabbed a juice glass and leaned against the wall. He didn't know why but Catarina and Clary were staring at him every time he looked up at them.

Simon joined him sullenly.

''I'm left to my own devices, he's attracting everyone's attention.''

''Jace ?''

''And Magnus,'' sighed Simon.

Alec softly smiled. ''Still not used to it ?''

''You're used to...Right you grew up with him so...I sympathize with you.''

''Thank you.''

Simon smiled and ran after Chairman Meow.

''Nice tattoo,'' a man said.

Alec blinked, surprised. He had his arms crossed, and despite his shirt, his tattoos were not noticeable. He looked down at his stomach. The bottom of his shirt was slightly raised, showing a piece of its balance in black ink. He stiffened and lowered his black shirt with an embarrassed smile.

''On your arms too, where did you got them ?''

The guy seemed to know all about it, tattooed as he was.

''Black Butterfly ?''

The guy nodded. ''My favorite tattoo is from there.''

And without hesitation, he lifted his shirt to show him his belly. __Beautiful abs__ , Alec thought without really paying attention to the tattoo: a red thread wrapping two people together. Two men. Alec averted his eyes. The man smiled, mused by his reaction.

''You're cute you know.''

 _ _No I didn't know, thank you,__ thought Alec. He looked at him stupidly not knowing what to do, and began to wonder if he didn't imagine things like getting hit on. The man smiled

''You have those big bright blue eyes, they're kind of mesmerizing. Like this guy Rasputin.''

''Did you meet him ?'' he asked sarcastically, relieved that the other was not hitting on him or very badly. Who would like to be compared to Rasputin ?

''Your smile is cute too, no but I read stuff like his eyes were so blue they could hypnotized people.''

Alec blinked. He didn't got his point. He tensed up when the guy grabbed his face and pressed their foreheads together.

''Go ahead, try to hypnotize me.''

Alec laughed and gently pulled away from his grasp. ''If I could hypnotize anyone I would be the master of the world,'' he joked getting slowly away and bumped into Simon. ''Save me, I don't know what to do!'' he pleaded in a whisper.

Simon's smile widened. ''He's hitting on you ? I can throw him Chairman Meow on the head if you want but I'm not sure he'd like it and neither would Magnus.''

Alec stroked the tabby cat in his arms who meowed weakly.

''He looked stoned, no ?'' asked Simon

''That would explain so much...''

''Oh, it's good someone picked him up, I think it's his boyfriend or his girlfriend, '' he said, squinting his eyes. ''And I think he just watched your ass, both of them actually.''

''You have a keen sense of observation.''

Simon grinned seeing Alec against a wall. ''You want something to drink ? Let me guess juice ? You know the other day Catarina said that before there were no juice here, I wonder why.''

Alec shrugged. ''So ?''

''I know that you're more juice than lemonade.''

Alec blinked, it was true. ''How... ?''

''Let's tell that I have a radar for things that common people like Jace, for example, don't see.''

''What do you see ?''

''For example, that Magnus is going this way,'' he said, going to get them something to drink and releasing Chairman Meow.

Alec didn't have the time to turn his head, Magnus swooped on him looking annoyed.

''I don't like it,'' he said.

Alec looked at him with perplexity. "You don't like what ?''

''I don't like it when people are touching my things !'' Magnus answered angrily.

Alec frowned, did someone touch Chairman Meow ? He didn't notice the possessive glare of Magnus focused on him. Everybody loved Chairman Meow so why Magnus was touchy about it ? Maybe someone destroyed something...and then he understood. He winced, feeling sorry for his own stupidity. Magnus was making the same face that when he was with Jace earlier.

''So I'm a thing ?'' Alec asked casually, not feeling angry.

Magnus slightly frowned. ''No, of course not,'' he murmured grabbing his hand.

Alec froze and looked down at their interleaved fingers.

''Catarina said she hoped the guy I'm interested in will not break my heart,'' he casually said.

It sounded like a threat.

''I said that I hoped too.''

''I hope he won't too...,'' murmured Alec slightly worried looking back at Catarina who was staring at them with a frown.

''It will be an important family stuff Friday ?''

Alec took off his hand. ''More annoying than important,'' he answered a little to harshly.

''I can't wait for Saturday,'' Magnus muttered with a gentle smile.

Alec looked at him with guilt. He felt that it was too early to break the heart of anyone but hoped that Magnus wouldn't suffer too much about what his cowardice, his curiosity and his father had prepared.

*

Alec found himself for the first time in a situation worthy of a sappy novel, he would have laughed if Clary and Catarina didn't looked as embarrassed as he was.

''We like you Alec, Magnus even more and we know that things are far from being __bright__ between you two sometimes...''

''Don't break his heart, '' said worriedly Catarina. '' If you want to date him, date him otherwise ... Don't give him false hope. ''

Clary smiled. Alec swallowed, so everyone knew he was...

''There's nothing between us.''

Catarina narrowed her eyes. ''Really ?''

Clary didn't say a word and contemplated him silently. She certainly remembered what she had heard the other day with her painting.

''Don't break his heart,'' Catarina repeated softly, patting his shoulder.

Everyone had expectations from him, he noticed. Alec didn't want to hurt anyone. And would have find it more bearable if he had been born on a desert island, he would have be an adorable sea turtle guided only by his instincts, without having to care about his father, Magnus, Jace, Izzy, Max, and the others. His life would have been so much simpler.

*

When he was ready to go to bed, his phone buzzed.

**Robert**

_I'll send you Lydia Branwell's number later, don't forget your date tomorrow at 21:00 at the Palace. Don't bring shame on our family._

Alec groaned and and buried his head in the pillow. He no longer handled the situation, everything was out of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mistakes as always ! 
> 
> Next chapter (The Sun is too bright), next Monday ! :) (I'm so exciting !) 
> 
> I noticed that some of you are quite perceptive ! :) 
> 
>  
> 
> And sorry but I'll be dramatic: I feel perplexed, I know that my fanfiction can't be liked by everybody and some people could be like ''what the hell with the plot ?!''  
> I wanted to write this story this way: Magnus selfish as I made him "forcing" Alec do to is coming-out which obviously didn't work-, his parents being like they are, the fact that Alec wants to stay in the closet which is his own choice of course but everybody wants him to be himself for his own good.   
> Of course, the coming-out his up to Alec, I'm perfectly aware of that thank you. It's just a story, you can feel upset about it but that's how I want it to be.


	7. The Sun is too bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos/comments and for reading ! :)

Alec couldn't sleep at all, how could he even close his eyes ? He had a date with a girl he didn't know. She was a sanction and was also manipulated against her will. He couldn't hate her. He sighed, rubbed his temples and stood up. Unable to sleep, he grabbed a book, he needed it. The reality was far too oppressive and unbearable for him, right now. All escape was worth taking.

At the photocopier, he had all the time to rethink and getting distressed about it. _Only one date_ , he tried to think. A warning from his father to show him he could make him do whatever he wanted. After, Alec would never see her ever again and would do anything to not screw up. This would mean finding a solution for Magnus. He was scared to break his heart and wanted to go back in time, and yet he wanted to try. Robert was right he became much bolder than before. _I hope, apart from me, no one will suffer from any of that_ , he thought while closing his eyes painfully. 

*

''Max, Robert knows you're going through his stuff, '' he whispered into his phone. '' What are you expecting to find? ''

''I don't know that's why I'm searching.''

''Max,'' he told him off. ''Do you seriously think you'll find something ? Robert is smarter than that.''

''Are you saying that there's something to be find and that I need to intensify my researches ?''

Alec sighed. '' Keep it up and you'll no longer be able to come at my place. '' He heard an offended noise and smiled. '' Besides, you can't come this weekend, I...I have things to do. ''

_Like a date and some sleep to catch up._

Max growled and hang up.

 

Alec went home, feeling sick. He was stressed out, didn't know how to dress and hoped not to mess everything up. He had huge dark circles, bloodshot eyes and was not very good-looking. He was far from being charming, he thought it would be better to dress plainly. Although, he had a date with a girl in a great restaurant, he would be more at ease this way and at the same time it would show her that he was not that great and that there wouldn't have a next time, just in case.

He felt incredibly stupid once in front of the Palace. He didn't know what Lydia Branwell looked like, how was he supposed to know who she was ? And he didn't dare to come in, as he never had previously eaten there, and the prospect of a new place was a little terrifying for him. He climbed the stairs, noticing that the restaurant was frequented by snobbish people. Alec took a deep breath to calm his nervousness.

In front of the the huge ornate gate, a young blonde woman was waiting and calling. She stared at him, studied him for a moment and came up with an embarrassed smile.

''Alec Lightwood ?'' she shyly asked.

She was dressed as simply as he was. Black pants, ballet shoes and a dark green top. The only thing that stood up in her outfit was her expensive purse which certainly costed what Alec was winning in one month's salary. She was pretty and was smiling brightly at him.

''Lydia Branwell ?''

She nodded and showed him her phone.

''I was trying to call you.''

Alec blinked and put his hands in his pockets. He winced. ''I hope I didn't lose it,'' he sighed.

They awkwardly stared at each other for a long time until Lydia broke the silence. ''Let's go ?''

Alec followed her. She was a regular with the way the restaurant staff greeted her. She seemed much more resourceful than him and quite confident, the dinner might not be as disastrous than he thought or if it was it would only be his own fault.

He didn't know if he had often experienced awkward situations because they were awkward or because he was the one to make them awkward. And in this case, it would explain so much. Neither one nor the other dared to speak first, and he seriously thought about adding this meal to the most embarrassing moments of his life.

Lydia took a deep breath and cleared her throat. ''I'll introduce myself if you don't mind.''

He nodded with relief.

Lydia straightened up. ''So I'm Lydia Branwell, I'm twenty-three, I'm still a student in law because it's a family thing but I like it. And I can't believe my grand-father imposed this dinner on me.''

Alec blinked and suddenly felt guilty. ''Don't worry it's just one dinner, '' he reassured uncertainly.

She raised her eyebrows and looked at him suspiciously. ''Really ?''

There was such a relief in her voice, Alec couldn't help smiling.

''But why ? Don't you find it stupid ?'' she asked with a frown.

''My parents find me too asocial.''

It was true, maybe it made him pathetic but he didn't really care. It was just one dinner.

Lydia had an incredulous smile and seemed to relax a little more. '' Me too, I favor my studies first, and I don't really have time to socialize,'' she softly confessed.

They were in this weird situation where someone had to talk about something to a complete stranger. Alec was too reserved and introverted to play this game, he didn't know what to say or what to answer. She was more comfortable than him and didn't seem to bother about the whole single conversation. Alec was sure that, like him, she hoped that this ordeal would end quickly.

''Let's not take desserts,'' he finally begged. It was the first time he opened his mouth for a while and blushed. ''I mean this whole think is very embarrassing for both of us, I think you have better things to do than eating a dessert with a stranger.''

Lydia smiled at him, with the same smile she did earlier when they were outside. ''Okay, no dessert then.''

''I'm sorry for everything.''

''Me too and don't worry I'll tell everyone you were charming.''

For the first time, Alec genuinely smiled. ''Don't lie and tell them the truth, imagine if we have to see each other again.''

She chuckled. ''Right, honestly it was not that bad. It's just awkward because we were forced to meet with each other so...''

Alec nodded, payed the bill and walked her up to a taxi, Lydia was still smiling.

''Even though it was slightly a disaster, it was nice to meet you Alec.''

''Good luck with your studies and everything in your life,'' he seriously said.

''You too, I hope that if we meet again it will be in other circumstances,'' she joked.

Through the window, she smiled and waved at him. Alec couldn't help sighing with relief. 

 

His phone was on the table in the kitchen and his father had tried to reach him many times.

''How did it go ?''

''Not that bad,'' said Alec.

''She's great,'' Robert added.

Alec sighed and took a deep breath. ''It was only one dinner right ?''

Robert snorted. ''Really ?''

Alec winced.

''I hope you got it ,'' Robert finally said.

''Yes.''

''I know what is best for you and for us Alexander, don't disappoint me and don't go away from your right path.''

Alec exulted inwardly, unable to believe he was getting away so easily.

''Still...This Lydia seems great so if you have to marry someone...You're gay so let's make sure you don't wander off.''

Alec tensed up. ''She's not part of the contract.''

''I already told you I could add a girlfriend clause.''

''You would force me to be with a girl ?''

''Then, don't give me a reason to do it... And she found you charming, it made your mother happy for once,'' he said, hanging up.

Alec looked at his phone as if it was a particularly disgusting spider and threw it on the couch.  

* 

He badly slept and knew he wouldn't be in a good shape for his second date with Magnus. But that didn't change much, he still didn't know where he was going to take him, or what they were going to speak about, or even what they would do. It was complicated, stressful and worrisome. Besides, Lydia had turned into a threat. He sighed, got up, took his laptop and sought how to make conversation in 10 steps.

''I'm ridiculous,'' he muttered to himself.

Alec was not in a good shape at all and was dozing off, not even managing to focus on his book. He even forgot what he had read about how to make conversation. His phone buzzed.

''Why didn't you call me back ?'' Izzy asked angrily.

Because Robert had spammed him with his calls, he didn't look at his texts or other calls.

''I'm working,'' he whispered.

''What's that noise ?''

''A photocopier I was transferred because of Donovan and ... well because of Donovan, '' he said.

''It's not so bad,'' finally said Izzy. ''I expected... something worse.''

Alec nodded and hoped she would never know for Lydia. ''By the way, you have to call mom you overspend, Jace too, both of you actually. So you need to call her.''

Izzy snorted. ''Okay...Can I sleep at your place tonight ?''

''Uh...no I already said no for Max so...''

''Why ? You already planned something Alec ? Like what ? Eating a pizza alone, all by yourself ? I'm in !''

''Actually I planned something else with someone else so no, you'll be the one to eat a pizza alone, all by yourself.''

Izzy gasped. ''Alec tell me: doing what and with who ?''

Alec froze, Izzy squealed. ''Don't tell me you have a date with Magnus ? Alec !''

''I'm busy,'' he growled and hung up to focus again on his book.

It didn't prevent Izzy to bomb him with her texts.

* 

Alec didn't know since how long Magnus was waiting for him but he was happy to see him. Magnus slightly furrowed his brows and softly touched his cheek.

''Bad day ?''

''Bad nights,'' he corrected.

''Is it my fault ?'' Magnus teased. ''So where are we going ?'' he cheerfully asked.

''I usually go there with Max.''

Magnus grinned. ''I won't be disappointed if that's what you're worried about.''

''You'll pretend ?'' asked Alec with a smirk. ' I know they have a good wine, at least that's something. ''

''How do you know their wines are great ?''

Alec only answered with a shrug and took him to a Georgian restaurant. Magnus didn't seem to know this place and was pretty pleased.

''You were right, so how did you know for their wine ?'' asked Magnus observing the golden color of his wine.

With a smile Alec noticed that the wine was as gold as Jace's eyes.

''What do you want to hear ?''

''That you did research for me obviously,'' Magnus said with a grin.

''What if I already taste it once ?''

''Really ?''

''I can drink, I just don't like it.''

Magnus chuckled. ''We will do as if you already drunk their wine then. By the way, how was the family stuff yesterday ?''

Alec blinked. ''Not that bad, I was worried for nothing as always.''

Magnus smiled and moved forward, Alec stiffened. His hand didn't brush his cheek as earlier but remained lengthily on it, his thumb stroking his cheekbone.

''You really look tired, your father is taking advantage of you ?''

Alec breathed again when Magnus withdrew his hand, and was even more relieved that no one were watching them.

''No, I'm far from being exploited now, I have time to read and getting bored.''

Magnus frowned. ''What did you do ? And does that mean we can texts now ?''

Alec blinked. ''I won't. Remember when I fought with a guy ?''

''In my kitchen ? When you broke my beautiful table ? I do, so ?''

''Let's say he learned about this accident and I'm again an intern.''

''Right your father...How did he know ? And why did you want to work for him ?''

Alec didn't know and had never really wanted to work for him or succeed him actually.

''You remember when you were an intern ? '' he asked hoping to change the subject.

''Nice diversion, you always manage to make me talk about myself. Let's say I didn't suffer a long time and I quickly managed to impose myself.''

Alec smiled while imagining a younger Magnus entering with a conquering walk and covered with glitter in the investment firm where he was still working.

''And at the end of my internship, they kindly begged me to stay.''

''Really ?''

''Really,'' nodded Magnus looking at him with little hearts in the eyes.

This gaze, Alec assumed was the one described by Izzy, made him feel unworthy and ill at ease.

''Oh and you didn't answer to Catarina,'' Magnus reminded him.

''Catarina ?''

''You didn't receive her text ?''

Alec immediately tensed up and pulled out his phone. What kind of text could she have send him? A 'don't break his heart' ? He sighed with a relief when he saw she was only inviting him around a friendly meal with the others.

''You'll come? ''

''Yes.''

Magnus smiled. ''We could go together.''

Alec nodded as he didn't know where she lived.

 

He really admired Magnus' ability to adapt himself in each situations and to make him comfortable, comfortable enough that it didn't realize that their feet were touching from the beginning under the table. Even the waitress seemed to be sufficiently comfortable with Magnus to make eyes at him. She was pretty and proud to show her cleavage. But Magnus did as if he didn't see her, a method like any other.

However, Alec didn't expect that Magnus would take his hand when she brought their desserts, neither that he would lovingly intertwine their fingers together, leaving no doubt about the nature of their relationship. The eyes of the pretty waitress stared longer than necessary on their hands and her smile froze. Alec felt the sudden need to apologize. He didn't really know why but he felt guilty to read pain on the girl's face.

Then he realized that Magnus didn't notice anything, how could he when his eyes were only focused on Alec ? This one felt embarrassed to monopolize all his attention on him and found it almost absurd.

''How was this second date ?''

Alec could barely look him in the eyes. ''It went well,'' he admitted.

''You still got worried for nothing,'' Magnus said in an amused tone.

''What about a third ?'' Alec murmured looking into Magnus' eyes.

This one arched an eyebrow, smiled, came closer and softly kissed him. ''Sounds good, still curious ?''

''Still curious,'' Alec nodded smiling slightly, not checking if people were watching them this time.

 

''Last time you didn't tell me what you thought the first time you saw me,'' reminded him Magnus.

''You really want to know ?''

''Tell me,'' Magnus insisted by giving him a slight shove.

Alec smiled. ''Genetic was generous,'' he confessed. ''And that you almost had the same eyes as your cat.''

''Really ? You found me handsome ?''

''I think everybody who sees you for the first time would find you handsome.''

''I know but I'm glad you did too, you still do right ?''

Alec smiled.

''It's my turn to tell you about our first time,'' Magnus joked with a frown.

Alec winced. ''I already know, you don't have to tell me...''

''You were the one to ask first, I want to tell you now !''

Alec sighed when Magnus grabbed his arm so they could stop for a moment. They went to a shop window and Magnus took a deep breath.

''I won't be mad.''

Magnus cleared his throat, looked at him straight in the eyes and took his hands. ''What struck me the most was that you were not dressed for a party. After, when you told me you were Izzy and Jace's older brother, I was surprised and I thought...,'' he winced. '' And I thought, but how can they be related ?''

Alec nodded, many people thought the same, him first about his siblings. Magnus freed his forehead from a lock of black hair that hid his eyes, and slid his hand down his cheek. ''You're like a rough diamond, you just need to be carefully looked at and then we realize you're very good-looking, you just have to be polished by a gaze. You're handsome Alexander, I could endlessly look at you but you have the self-esteem of a turtle.''

Alec snorted and tried to free himself from Magnus' hands, which made the latter sigh. ''You have the self-esteem of a turtle,'' he insisted. ''You're handsome, very handsome and interesting but you're the only one who doesn't know. That's what struck me the most in you and what dissociates you from your siblings. You're so unconfident, not at ease with yourself and you doubt about everything. Even now, you're looking at me wondering if I'm making fun of you when I compliment you.''

He was right, embarrassed and blushing Alec looked away. Magnus kissed his temple.

''And I perfectly remember how white was your belly, it kind of obsessed me for days. You didn't have any tattoos back then.''

Alec looked at him dumbfounded. ''What ?''

Magnus stared at him with mischief. ''Never mind.''

 

''Catarina asked the girls to help her for her friendly meal.''

Alec stopped. ''The girls ?''

Magnus took his hand . ''Clary and Izzy.''

''But Izzy can't cook.''

''She'll learn, Catarina is a good cook.''

''Izzy can't cook, for real. Jace nearly died once.''

Magnus tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. ''I don't remember hearing this from her, we'll ask Jace to taste it first then. Besides, it's only a matter of time before he and Clary are together for good.''

And he looked at Alec as if he was expecting a reaction, but Alec didn't react and tried to reassure Magnus by kissing him. It was the first time he initiated it, he wondered who was the most surprised between them. The latter stopped and pulled him by the arm for another kiss. They were outside, in the middle of a street, and Alec would have been normally extremely cautious and would have rejected him but it was Magnus, and he was more and more weak against his kisses.

Magnus must have felt his reluctance to be kissed and pushed him inside of a building. Alec recognized with astonishment that it was the building he was living in. They kissed against the mailboxes, it was late enough for anybody to pick his mails and Alec was comforted by this thought.

He came to his senses when Magnus kissed him below the ear which made him shiver. He didn't think this place would be so sensitive or that it would give him such a sensation. He smiled when Magnus did it again, and held him tighter against him before remembering that they were still in the lobby of his building. Magnus had the same thought, kissed his lips, stared at him, kissed him again and pulled away from him, not without winking at him.

''Dream of me tonight.''

''I'm too tired.''

Magnus laughed and pinched his cheek.

Laying down in his bed, Alec realized he hadn't been as cautious as he would have liked to be and complained about his lack of will. _It's not my fault Magnus is the one to confuse me_ , he thought. What would he say when his father will know: _it's Magnus' fault_  ? Not only, he was also guilty as hell.

His phone buzzed and he knew it was Izzy who wanted to know everything. He ignored her text and buried himself under his sheets

* 

Everything was too good to be true, he was reading at the photocopier, his father didn't much bother him and his dates with Magnus went well. Now, Alec was used to kiss Magnus whenever he began to ask too many questions about him, his parents or siblings. At such moments, Magnus narrowed his eyes, realizing that Alec didn't want to say anything and tried to manipulate him, and yet, had decided to take advantage of it by letting Alec manipulate him with kisses.

His father's secretary suddenly appeared at his side and startled him. Alec didn't even try to hide the book he was holding.

''Mr Lightwood wants too see you.''

Alec sighed, karma caught him again.

''Who is Clary Fray ?''

Obviously, Robert already knew the answer but wanted to know from Alec's point of view. He didn't know what to answer.

''A girl ?''

His father sighed and gave him a sorry look. ''She is even the daughter of an artist and herself wants to be an artist,'' he added. ''Tell Jace he can't date this girl.''

Alec blinked. ''They're not together,'' he protested because he would have known. ''And why do you care ?''

It was the first time that Robert care about Jace's relationships and even had to intervene.

''An artist ? No, he can do whatever he wants if it's not serious.''

''She's nice, everybody loves her.''

As if to prove she was a decent person, besides she knew he was gay and didn't tell a soul.

''I don't care, tell him no.''

''Do you seriously think I can convince him of..''

''You will and I'm pretty sure you can be persuasive if you don't want him to be disinherited.''

Alec gasped. ''You're not respecting our contract !''

Robert stood up and dangerously came closer. Alec remembered being terrified when he was younger and wasn't overconfident in front of his father.

''The exact terms of the contract stipulate that I let your siblings alone if you obey me and if you behave like a good son. I'm asking you to ensure that he no longer goes out with this girl, that's all,'' he threatened.

Alec opened his mouth, Robert coldly smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. ''Let me guess you're asking yourself _what if I can't_? If you do, it means you doubt your abilities and you won't manage to do anything, as usual...''

Alec suddenly felt a sharp pain.

''And it means that you won't be persuasive and that Jace will be disinherited because you're not competent enough.''

''How can you say that ?'' he weakly protested.

He didn't make all these efforts to see them destroyed by Clary, yet he knew that even if they were not together he didn't wish to separate them. He couldn't.

''Show me your worth,'' hissed Robert dismissing him.

Alec stormed out of his father's office. If he already knew for Clary when it wasn't even official, it meant he would soon find out for Magnus.

''Fuck,'' he grumbled in front of the photocopier.

*

In the elevator, Magnus pinched his cheek and gave him a mischievous look.

''I hope we'll return alive from this meal,'' he joked.

Alec slightly smiled back. At least, if he died he wouldn't have to separate Clary and Jace, even if he didn't intend to do that in his lifetime.

Catarina opened the door with a big smile. ''We were no longer expecting you, I was wondering what made you late Magnus it's unusual,'' she said staring at Alec with a wide smile.

Magnus to prevent Alec from running away put his hand on his backside. He often did it recently, Alec noticed looking away.

''I thought you were joking when you said she couldn't cook...,'' she murmured to Magnus who looked at Alec with amusement.

''She's the only one who can't cook at all in the family,'' he retorted.

''Even Max knows how to cook ?'' asked Magnus with a raised eyebrow.

''Of course he can,'' Jace confirmed behind Catarina.

''I heard you !'' Izzy informed them.

Jace stared suspiciously at Magnus seeing him this close to Alec, his eyes were only two slots when he saw Magnus' hand pulled up on Alec's waist. This one didn't dare to look at him right in the eyes after this incident.

In the kitchen where everyone was trying to redo the disastrous meal, Ragnor raised his eyebrows when he saw Magnus' hand on Alec's backside, who had frozen and even tried to escape but he would have shove Simon, who would have seen too and no, Alec didn't want everyone to know. Ragnor just smiled, nodded and peeled his leek.

He made an eye contact with Clary and Izzy and his sister shook her bottom on purpose. Alec made a big effort for not throwing at her a potato. The worst was that Magnus seemed to do it unconsciously and even kissed his neck when no one, except Izzy and Catarina, were looking at them. Alec thought he would die, especially when Izzy shook a tomato under his nose to allude to his blushes.

Simon and Jace were the only ones who didn't know yet. Besides Izzy, the others had guessed.

''Fortunately, all the other guests have rudimentary cooking skills, '' joked Simon bringing the starter.

Izzy smirked. ''I can't be perfect.''

''Right, actually I was wondering what was your flaw.''

Jace snorted. ''She has so many flaws.''

Izzy threw him a dirty look and grinned at Simon. ''Not too disappointed ?''

''No because I know how to cook,'' he said before blinking and realizing the impact of his words.

''Who cares, we just want to eat !'' Ragnor stated with a smirk.

Alec struggled to not end up next to Magnus for fear of be touched during the meal in front of the others and found himself next to Simon and Ragnor. Magnus stared at him with a smirk and continued his discussion with Catarina, whereas Jace and Clary were devouring each other with the eyes and exchanged whispering.

''Still not together ?'' he asked in a jaded tone to Simon.

''Negative, but soon. She only hang out with him this week. What about you ?''

Alec froze. ''What about me ?''

Simon blinked and smiled. ''You and Magnus.''

Alec gasped and looked at him with widened eyes. Only Jace now. He wanted to ask him how he did know but it would be like confessing everything. He decided to drink his glass of water.

Clary and Jace were meant to be together, Alec could never separate them. He had no desire nor the strength. A foot under the table touched his, he had no trouble recognizing who was the owner and looked up. Magnus made a face who made him smile and he hastened to touch him back. He knocked a little too hard and Magnus winced, not without smiling back.

He helped to clear the table and Magnus joined him a little too eagerly in the kitchen empty-handed. Alec looked at him with suspicion.

''Magnus when you're supposed to clear...''

Magnus mouth crashed into his. ''There's no one here. ''

''I'm here,'' Izzy clarified by placing a dish in the sink. '' But I don't mind !''

Magnus did as if she wasn't there. Alec gently pushed him away, embarrassed and relieved to be able to escape. Izzy rolled her eyes when Magnus leaned again to steal one last kiss. 

* 

''It's trendy meals now ?'' he asked in a jaded tone.

Magnus chuckled and kissed his neck. ''That's what people do to socialize.''

He refrained from saying 'you need a social life' or 'I don't know why but I'm not surprise that you don't know that', but his amused gaze betrayed his thoughts.

''I am exploited,'' Alec complained while opening a bag of salad.

''Believe me I would love to exploit you in a different way but unfortunately we are late,'' he teased with a serious gaze.

Alec thought discerning a sexual allusion but he wasn't that sure when he looked at the salad leaves. They were dating and sex was something natural in a relationship. He couldn't help but winced. He was not even ready to think about it.

The others were not even surprised to see him already there, except Jace who frowned. He was holding Clary's hand. It was official, Alec was screwed. He had failed without even trying.

They announced their relationship in the middle of the meal, he felt Magnus and Izzy's eyes on him. Alec didn't know how to stop his father from disinherited the poor Jace. Even Simon was sadly smiling, looking resigned. 

''I have my dance spectacle in a while, is someone interested ?'' Izzy inquired.

''What kind ?'' asked Ragnor.

''Doesn't matter, all the girls are sexy,'' she smirked.

''No boys ?'' asked Catarina.

''They all left.''

''Good,'' said Magnus straightening up and throwing a mischievous look at Alec. ''It's already hard enough to make your brother focus on me, I don't want any competition,'' he whispered to Izzy who brightly smiled at him.

 

''So you're not staying ?'' asked a disappointed Magnus.

Alec felt guilty to be responsible for his dejected look, he only stayed in order to help with the dishes somehow with Chairman Meow and Magnus who both wanted to play with him.

Magnus hugged him and kissed him. Alec slid his arm around his waist and pulled him against him. He felt Magnus' smile against his lips and opened his mouth to better seize those ones. Magnus' hands went down and became insistent. Alec suddenly stiffened which made Magnus froze.

''Just kissing,'' he breathed as to reassure him, pressing his lips against his jawline.

They didn't only kiss but as long as Magnus' hands were not below Alec's belt, he was fine.

''I have to go,'' whispered Alec in his ear while Magnus was kissing his collarbone insistently.

He winced when he felt a sudden ache, then Magnus kissed his chin, and Alec kissed his nose and his cheekbone.

''I really have to go,'' he insisted, smiling when Magnus did the same and kissed his nose.

''Fine,'' he growled. ''Thank you for today.''

Alec leaned to stroke Chairman Meow and walked toward the entrance.

''What about me? '' Magnus asked taking offense.

Alec turned around and narrowed his eyes, if he kissed him right now they would still be at it for a while. Magnus was already waiting for the gesture of affection with a big smile.

''I can close my eyes if you want.''

Alec sighed and kissed his neck. Magnus looked satisfied and let him go.

*

Someone was already waiting for him in front of his door. Alec frowned.

''You were out with friends? '' asked Robert falsely anxious.

Alec regretted for not staying longer at Magnus' place. Robert came suddenly closer, making Alec move backwards who thought for a moment he was going to be hit. Instead, his father put his hand to his neck, where Magnus' mouth was insistent few minutes earlier, and slightly lifted the collar of his sweater.

Alec couldn't look away, Robert stared at him a disdainful pout on his face.

''Tell me it's a girl who did this.''

He could have lied, but his father would have known he was lying, he thought it would be better to say nothing.

''Tell me it's a girl who did this,'' he hissed grabbing him by the collar.

Alec told him what he wanted to hear. ''It's a girl who did this,'' he mumbled, looking away.

Robert slammed him against the wall, gave him a fierce look and suddenly released him. ''I'll disowned Jace as promised, he is now in a relationship with this Fray. His life is over, his studies, his apartment ! Even her wouldn't want a guy like this anymore !''

Alec was strangely quiet, too stunned probably, and was surprised that none of his neighbors came out to witness such a scene.

''I should have disinherited him since the beginning since he made you gay ! Look at you !''

Maybe Alec tried to run away by opening his apartment door but he was relieved that Robert followed him without screaming and breaking everything. He finally stared back at his father but with mixed feelings.

''Please don't, I beg you,'' he murmured.

Robert smirked. ''It's too late Alexander, look what you've done all gone up in smoke !''

Alec tried to control his breathing, a contradictory whirlwind of emotions overwhelming him. '' We have a contract, '' Alec insisted fetching it, as if it was the most rational thing to do. '' You are not respecting the terms. ''

Robert followed him in his room, watched him getting out a roll of paper from the radiator and took it. Then, he tore it into four pieces and look at him straight in the eyes.

''What about you ?!'' he berated him. ''I asked you to not be gay and to be a good son !''

Alec flinched. ''I tried,'' he murmured.

''You didn't try enough,'' Robert said coldly scattering the pieces of the contract with his foot. ''But I'm a good father, you are entitled to one last chance, only one ! ''

Alec took a deep breath, he was trapped.

''I'm adding a clause to the contract: you remember Lydia Branwell ?''

''You said it was only one dinner,'' Alec abruptly retorted, afraid of what was following.

''If Jace and Izzy have to go out with anyone, I have to make sure I'd have a worthy offspring although you're gay and to make sure you won't wander off,'' he hissed.

Alec wondered for a moment if he was not in a nightmare but it was too real.

''Is Lydia aware of your plan ?''

''It will be up to you to persuade her Alexander, who knows ? When you're desperate enough you are able to do everything. I am sure that out of love for Jace you'll work wonders.''

Alec didn't react. He had to convince Lydia, he was so screwed.

''This is your last chance and I hope you are friend with Magnus Bane only with a purpose like Idris in mind.''

Alec's heart literally froze.

''It's not with him right ? I mean is not gay, he was with a woman before, a beautiful woman...right ? What reassures me Alexander is that everyone is too good for you, and it's so impossible and unlikely ... I'm sorry for him that I could have imagined for a moment that there were something between you,'' he snorted with an incredulous smile.

Alec still had his head down trying to moderate the pain he felt. ''And you think it could work with Lydia ? She is not too good for me? ''

Robert smirked and violently took his chin between his fingers. ''Everybody is too good for you, you have to make do. ''

Alec looked at the pieces of paper on his room's floor with a frown.

''I'll send you another copy, updated of course. This is your last chance, or I swear I'll make you pay for this.''

Robert Lightwood violently closed the door behind him. Alec stood there for a long time with his arms dangling before deciding to pick up the pieces of the contract.

Everything was too good to be true, in the end reality always caught up with him. A single misstep and the house of cards would collapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe turtles have more self-esteem than Alec...I don't know ! (Sorry dear turtles and Alec !)  
> And yes, Robert kind of bury his head in the sand but for how long ? (I can't believe I made him so hateful, my imagination still surprises me sometimes !)  
> And poor Lydia !
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes as always ! :)
> 
> Next chapter (Persuasion), next Monday ! :)


	8. Persuasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, your comments and kudos ! :)

Alec gazed absently at the clouds of smoke escaping from his coffee cup. He had taped the contract which almost looked new although it was crumpled and torn.

It was all his fault.

His father didn't want him to be gay and he was dating Magnus.

His father had expectations from him and he had disappointed him.

His father didn't want Jace and Clary to be together and they were dating.

Alec had failed in everything. He deserved what happened to him.

He scratched his neck, feeling bad for being this reckless. Since he was seeing Magnus, he had became more and more what his father didn't want him to be: reckless, careless, disobedient and gay.

He couldn't allow himself to be what his father disliked, maybe he should be seriously think about ending his relationship with Magnus. Stopping everything before it was too late because Magnus didn't deserve any of that. They were only at the beginning of an uncertain relationship only based on curiosity for Alec and something more for Magnus. It would be better to step in now before it is too late and the damage irrevocable.

It would be better for everyone and especially for Magnus because, as his father said, everybody was too good for Alec.

*

The waiter arrived with their dishes, Max, Izzy and Jace sighed in satisfaction. They were hungry and made it know. Alec smiled weakly and moved their glasses to make room on the table.

''Is it that tiring to work at the photocopier ?'' joked Jace, which earned him a kick from Izzy.

Max gave him a weary look and stared seriously at Alec. ''You have one of those faces, you party too much.''

It made Jace and Izzy laugh, Alec was far from partying too much compared to them.

''And why did you invite us to the restaurant ?'' asked Max to Izzy with a frown.

Izzy gave him a big smile and tucked her hair behind her shoulder in a show-off gesture.

''Guys, I have good news for you. I have a future, I only lack money but everything would be perfect. ''

The three boys threw at her a skeptical look, which made her roll her eyes.

''I always wanted to open my image consulting company, that's why I'm studying fashion. I already found a place and I was thinking of creating my firm with a friend. What do you think ?''

Jace and Max didn't hide their surprise and congratulated her.

''Where would you find money ?'' Alec lowly asked .

''Our parents, actually I already asked them and Robert told me he had no objections but it depended on you.''

Alec stiffened and Max's glanced immediately at him.

''Why it depends of Alec ?'' asked Jace. ''It's not because he had hit a guy that he's a delinquent.''

At that time, Alec knew he had to sign the new contract and that he was in deep trouble. He would never forgive himself if Izzy couldn't realize her dream.

''But they agreed ?'' he asked, to be sure.

Izzy's smile widened. '' They even said they were proud of me ! They also said that they would never have thought that I had such a project and that they would help me. Even I find it weird but if I receive money from the family fortune I wouldn't have to deal with all those hassles with banks, and this way I'll stay healthy !''

Jace smirked. ''Your first customer will be Alec, he needs advice with his clothes.''

But Alec didn't rise to it, he was currently thinking about the contract. He had to sign, Izzy had a project that she wished to realize when she would graduate. It only depended on him.

''By the way Max, I'll introduce you Clary sometime.''

''Who's Clary ?''

''His girlfriend,'' Izzy clarified while cutting her meat.

Max rolled his eyes. ''An other one ?''

''This one is the one, even you you'll like her !''

''You like her ?'' asked Max to Alec who wasn't listening.

''What ?''

''Listen when we're talking to you,'' teased Jace with a smirk. ''He asked you if you liked Clary.''

''She's nice.''

Max nodded. ''Speaking of girlfriend, Ellie finds Alec more attractive than you !'' he revealed with a triumphant smile.

Jace narrowed his eyes and peered at Alec. ''She has bad tastes then.''

''Hey !'' protested Max.

''Not concerning you,'' clarified Jace with a wide grin. ''Do you think Clary would like those paintbrushes ?'' he asked Izzy.

He specified the brand but Alec didn't understand more than he had heard. Izzy looked into her phone and her eyes widened.

''It's too expensive ! You'll make things awkward between you, find something else.''

''It's the best among paintbrushes, I can afford them.''

''She doesn't,'' sighed Izzy. ''Find something else, besides why do you want to offer her something ? It hasn't been long since you're dating...''

''So what ? She took me to a concert the other day and she just had an interview for a job this summer, I just want to give her a present,'' Jace grumbled with a shrug.

Max looked at him with amusement. ''So she's the one, uh ? I'd like to meet her.''

''You can leave for a weekend? '' Izzy suggested. ''It will be romantic !''

''Where ?'' Jace asked with a frown.

Izzy suggested some places, even Max suggested some. As for Alec, he was thinking about the contract and Magnus.

 

''What about Magnus ?'' asked Izzy when Max and Jace went to the bathroom.

Alec didn't answer.

''Did you talk about it with Robert ?''

''What ?''

''When I asked him for my project, he said that it depended on you and asked me about Magnus.''

''What did he ask ?'' Alec asked in a panic tone.

Izzy drew nearer and put a comforting hand on his arm. ''I didn't say anything, calm down. Even a blind man could see that he's homophobic ... I just told him that he was a friend.''

Alec sighed in relief and looked at her gratefully. Izzy was quietly staring at him.

''You don't talk to me at all, '' she reproached him with a pout. ''How are things with him ? You love him ? Did you already...''

''Izzy.''

''Come on Alec we're no longer in middle-school. So ? Where are you in your relationship ?''

''Nowhere, leave me alone.''

''I'll ask him, Magnus likes to talk about you, he does at least.''

Alec narrowed his eyes under the slightly accusing tone. ''Because you talk about me ?''

''Of course we do.''

And she gave him a sly look, waiting for him to ask about what they had talked about him but Alec didn't want to satisfy her and looked away.

x

Alec ran outside before Izzy and Max ask too many questions, but he could see them exchanging a puzzled look before following Jace.

It had been a long time since he didn't return to the family home, not since he had begun to work for his father. And he didn't really miss his childhood house if not his room.

He sometimes wondered if his parents and Max didn't feel too lonely in this big house and sadly smiled as money fulfilled his parents above all.

He took a look at Max's room through the main corridor and smiled wistfully. He still had his baby room with the childish wallpaper he had tried to cover with different posters.

''He refuses to clean his room,'' Maryse complained, shaking her head. ''Jace never had this problem.''

Alec turned toward her with a slight smile. ''Rob... Dad's there ?''

''In his office, as usual,'' she whispered. ''You'll drink a cup of tea ?''

Alec nodded and walked to his father's office. He climbed the big staircase which frightened a lot Izzy when she was small and where Jace and him were used to slide on their mattresses. He felt bad knowing that Max was alone in this big house which seemed too empty, even when they were still living there and even if their parents were still living inside, it was as if they were no one here at all.

He shyly knocked at the door and came in. Robert greeted him with a smile.

''It was waiting for you,'' he said taking out an envelope from a drawer with a pen.

He was sitting comfortably in his large leather chair behind a too polished desk. Alec moved forward in an uncertain walk, ready to turn back at any time. But his eyes were focused on the envelope.

''Sit. I added a few things.''

Alec took out the contract of his envelope and breathed in. Many things had changed actually, as it was updated. The previous contract was concerning an eighteen years old boy, this time to a twenty-three years old Alec.

Lydia was not directly mentioned, but implied in the sentence forbidding him to be what he was : gay, in bold, in italic and underlined. His father had explicitly added that no one should know about his sexual orientation and the sanctions that would follow if he misbehaved on Izzy, Jace, Max and even on him.

But if Alexander Gideon Lightwood followed everything to the letter and filled his role as the eldest son and behaved like a good son, then his siblings would definitely be free to do what they wanted and could lead the life they had always wanted.

''Your main argument was that before Izzy and Jace were too much partying,'' murmured Alec. ''Izzy told you about her project...''

''Alexander, all the more reason for you to sign. I am happy to see that she is not as hopeless as I thought ... but it doesn't change anything, Idris will be yours.''

Alec winced, his sister was far from being hopeless and he glared at his father. ''And if I don't want Idris?''

''Do you think your siblings would want it ?'' he snorted. '' Someone has to make a sacrifice and I choose you, we already had this conversation.''

''No more blackmail ? Even if you're blackmailing me with this contract ?''

''This is your last chance Alexander, and if you respect all the terms and you don't rebel or provoke me in nothing whatsoever, I will be a good father for the others.''

 _Not with me apparently_ , thought bitterly Alec.

He continued reading the contract, and reached the part where his father promised to behave well with his siblings, not without thinking about Magnus.

''I'm not mentioned in this part,'' he whispered beginning to understand that his father had willfully forgotten him.

''The part where I'm a good father ?'' asked Robert leaning forwards. ''Don't be gay and I'll be a good father with you too.''

''Be a good father and I'll be a good son,'' he retorted with a tied throat.

Alec had always thought that his father loved him a little, deep down, but he had mistaken heavily his fatherly love. He really felt like a monster who deserved no love at all from anyone. ' _Everybody is too good for you_ ' was still ringing in his ears, as a harmful noise.

''You'll sign anyway, out of love for Jace.''

Alec would but not only for Jace. He looked at his father right in the eyes.

''Whatever I do it will never be good enough for you, who told me that you won't blow a gasket and...''

''Who made me blow a gasket ?'' asked Robert arching his eyebrows. ''And you no longer have those things on your neck, I'm asking you to stop dating that girl.''

Robert was in total denial, Alec sadly looked at him with disbelief.

''It's nonsense, '' he lamented in a whisper but loudly enough for Robert to hear, while initialing and signing the pages of the contract.

''Yours siblings and I are so grateful to you,'' he said with a big smile. ''You no longer have the right to make mistakes.''

Alec stood up, wondering if life would be more lenient with him in a future reincarnation.

''And don't forget to persuade Lydia to go out with you, show me how motivated you are.''

 

Alec looked at his mother suspiciously, she also was in league with his father. And yet, she put a cup of tea in front of him with a small smile. It was weird.

''Your father told me you liked Lydia Branwell.''

Alec looked up and saw his mother's radiant face. She seemed happy, which worried Alec who opened his mouth to protest but Robert barged in and slipped an arm around her waist but Maryse stiffened and pushed him away, making her husband smirk.

''Kind of, '' he said slowly. ''Especially to you.''

*

On the way back, Alec began to think about the situation. Out of love for his siblings, he was ready to do anything. By cowardice, he had signed, what was he scared of ? He didn't really know himself but he was afraid of other people's opinion, to disappoint his parents, and he didn't want to be a bad son or a bad big brother.

He didn't want to accept himself as he was if his parents didn't, and family came first for him. Always there to give support when needed usually, even if it was the opposite with his.

He thought again of his father's ' _Jace made you gay_ ' and smiled, deploring his stupidity.

The contract was not even fulfilled even before being signed, he was gay and dating Magnus, furthermore some people were already aware of his sexual orientation.

Alec didn't know what to do between what his parents were expecting from him and what he wanted.

To be a good son and a good brother, was the most obvious answer to him.

But there was also Magnus.

Maybe he should stop seeing him while it was still time but he couldn't deny that Magnus attracted him. He wasn't really sure about his feelings for him but Alec felt good with him, enough to kiss him and more. But at the thought of cutting off all ties with him discouraged him. Alec didn't want to hurt him and at the same time wanted this relationship. _I'm selfish_ , he thought with a winced, knowing very well that fate wouldn't forgive him, one misstep and everything would collapse.

But Magnus once said that it was okay to be selfish sometimes.

*

His resolve to break up with Magnus had flown away as soon as his eyes had fell on his face and his mischievous look. As his will couldn't struggle against his lips, Alec had failed, miserably failed.

The ' _nobody would know_ ' of Magnus had turned into everyone knew to Alec's greatest displeasure when someone asked him if he was the one who was dating Magnus at one of his parties. Then, he foolishly reacted and did what he did the best: running away in the kitchen. He wondered how Magnus could tolerate a guy as closeted as he was.

_He is not gay, he was with a woman before, a beautiful woman...right ? What reassures me Alexander is that everyone is too good for you, and it's so impossible and unlikely... I'm sorry for him that I could have imagined for a moment that there were something between you !_

Alec totally agreed with the fact that it was so unlikely and incongruous that Magnus was interested in him, and he even felt sorry for all those people Magnus didn't even deign to look at because of him. They were certainly worth much better than him.

Knowing Magnus, the latter feigned nonchalance and acted as if he was laughing at everything as he easily attached himself to others and loved passionately. Alec knew that he had had his heart broken many times with his past relationships, and he could related as he had been quite smitten with Jace at a time, and was now slowly making his mourning about his feelings for him with Magnus.

Chairman Meow jumped on his lap and purred like a motor, Alec stroked him absently. Jace suddenly barged in, startling Alec which grasped the tabby cat a little too suddenly which made him hissed and left.

''Sorry,'' apologized Jace. ''I was wondering where you were.''

''Here.''

Jace smirked and sat next to him on the ground. ''Why are you on the floor ?'' he asked, drinking at the neck of the bottle.

''There's nothing to sit on.''

''Right.''

They remained silent for a moment before Jace decided to speak first.

''Why didn't you tell me for you and Magnus ?'' he asked with an accusing tone.

Alec froze, eyes fixed on the floor. He thought about denying everything but lying was not a solution and obviously Jace already knew. He sighed, lamenting his cowardice.

''How do you know ?''

''Apparently I am the only one who didn't, until Magnus enlightened me by asking what you would like for your birthday.''

Alec looked skeptically at Jace, how could he deduce so little with that whereas when Magnus touched him right in front of him he couldn't see anything.

''Your birthday is in a long time Alec, admit that it's weird.''

''No, not really.''

Jace rolled his eyes. ''Why didn't you tell me Alec ?''

''I didn't tell anyone,'' he murmured.

''Maybe but everybody knows.''

Alec sighed. ''How did it happen ?''

''Apparently you are not discreet enough, obviously you were for me...I could tell he liked you but I thought he wouldn't be your type. ''

''My type ?''

''I always thought that you would go out with a guy that fits you more, you see ?''

Alec's eyes widened and he stared with bewilderment at Jace. ''So you know... ?''

Jace blinked. ''Of course I know...and I even know you felt something for me.''

Alec felt an awful blush spreading over his face, Jace plunged his golden eyes in his blue ones and smirked.

''Since when do you know ?'' he managed to ask.

''I don't know, since I'm an asshole and that any sensible person would never have supported me as you did. And I know you well Alec, too well, so if you thought you were discreet...''

''Sorry, '' Alec apologized immediately, looking down.

Jace snorted. ''Sorry for what ?''

''Robert thinks that you made me gay.''

Alec noticed he had uttered the word for the first time, he shyly looked up at Jace who looked horrified.

''I made you gay ? Fuck...he sucks ! And I was ready to joke about it like _I'm so handsome that I made you gay_ !''

Alec smiled. ''Maybe you're right.''

 _Now everyone knew that he was gay_ , _well done_ ! He congratulated himself inwardly.

''That's why he no longer likes me that much ?'' asked Jace with a frown.

''Everybody loves you Jace, even him.''

''He sucks for thinking that way,'' growled Jace. ''And so between you and Magnus...you love him ?''

Alec looked away, he never would have thought that one day he would talk about it with Jace.

''I don't know,'' he admitted.

''Do you still love me ?''

They were carefully avoiding to look at each other. Alec suddenly found that it was too hot and stood up. He had time to get out from the kitchen before Jace grabbed his arm.

''Alec, answer me.''

''I...I don't know,'' he confessed looking aroumd him in order to find a way to escape.

Jace stared at him and when he let him go, Alec took the opportunity to walk away but Jace was stubborn.

''There's only a way to find out.''

And he slid a hand behind his head and moved his face closer, Alec looked at him stupidly and didn't react. Not even when Jace's lips lightly touched his. The latter raised an eyebrow when he saw Alec's eyes widened in shock.

''Please don't tell me you kissed me,'' begged Alec, staring at him.

''Did you feel something ?'' asked seriously Jace, crossing his arms.

Eyes fixed on his lips, Alec began to reflect. He had dreamed of kissing him more than once, but the circumstances were different now. He was no longer a teenager and his feelings were a mixture of nostalgia and unfulfilled desires which were fading away. But he immediately thought about Magnus' lips, and had to admit that he wanted to kiss them just thinking about it.

''Want to do it again ?'' asked Jace in a teasing tone.

Alec stepped back, blushing. '' No, no thank you, I see things a little clearly now.''

Jace smiled. ''See, it's not that complicated ! Let's go or the others will worry,'' he said, walking away.

Alec followed him and Jace suddenly froze which made him looked up and he let out a strangled noise. Clary and Magnus were staring at them, a drink in their hand and didn't seem happy at all. If they were lucky enough, they hadn't seen anything and yet, Alec wanted to disappear.

''Jace, you think...''

''They saw us, fuck.''

He ran toward Clary pointing bottle with his finger and used big gestures. From time to time, Clary looked at Alec who hadn't dared to move an inch.

Magnus was still eyeing at him, and Alec had to confess that he was slightly afraid to see him this motionless. The latter finally moved, finished his drink in one go, put it down unceremoniously on an expensive furniture and slowly walked toward him.

Alec wasn't used at all to see that impassive expression in Magnus' face.

They were so close to each other and yet they didn't touch, eyes fixed in the other's.

''Happy ?'' asked coldly Magnus. ''You always wanted to kiss him, right ?''

Alec wasn't happy, it was the opposite actually. Magnus' disdainful pout was beginning to appear on his lips, the one he was doing when he wasn't happy or when he was upset.

''And in front of everyone, I don't always have this luck,'' he added with cold smile.

Alec winced, they had already kissed in public even though it made him ill at ease. Magnus had hint the fact that he was always looking around to see if they were being observed. Something he hadn't done with Jace.

Alec took it upon him and moved forward his face, he only had to lift his head a little to reach Magnus' mouth. It was a simple peck, asking for forgiveness and which wanted to be comforting. Alec didn't want to make Magnus insecure. He knew he was far from being demonstrative and affectionate unlike him and needed time. It was his first relationship and Alec did his best to return his affection, as he was still a beginner.

Magnus remained stoic, staring at Alec with his yellowish eyes and finally kissed him back, but his kiss was more like a bite which was aggressively devouring his lips and scratching them with his teeth. Alec didn't flinch when he was pinned against a wall and could finally breathe when Magnus attacked his neck. People were looking at them, Alec thought it would be better to close his eyes and pretend they weren't there. _Everyone knew now_.

''Not the neck,'' he abruptly realized by sliding his hands under the folds of Magnus' slightly opened shirt who pressed his hips against his.

The situation was becoming uncontrollable when he felt the state Magnus was in and how his pants were tighter.

''Magnus,'' Alec panicked when the latter slipped a leg between his and began to rub it against his crotch.

Magnus finally looked up, his makeup had slightly smeared and Alec wiped it away with his thumbs. And then, Magnus pressed his forehead against his, in order to calm down but without taking away his leg. Alec wanted to disappear when he met Simon's gaze and when he felt an awful blush spreading over his face. He nestled his head into Magnus' neck, embarrassed as ever. The latter did the same and they remained snuggled in the arms of the other until their mind regained the upper hand on their body.

It had been a while since his pants were no longer compressing his groin and yet Magnus wouldn't let him go and the party was in its full swing.

Alec, who still had his hands on Magnus' back, began to draw small circles absently. His skin was soft and his body smelled good, Alec smiled noticing that his smell was comforting him somehow. Magnus straightened up, feeling his smile against his neck, and kissed him before cupping his cheek which he finally pinched affectionately.

''No longer mad ?'' asked shyly Alec.

''No I was just jealous,'' Magnus muttered in a conversation tone.

Alec blinked.

''Why did he kiss you ?''

Alec didn't dare to look him in the eyes. ''To see if I still had feelings for him.''

''And ?'' asked Magnus softly before kissing him.

Alec kissed him back. ''They're fading away.''

Magnus smiled. ''Good,'' he mumbled against his lips.

 

Izzy were smiling next to him on the sofa.

''It was wow Alec, really !''

He growled, head down, with the sensation that everyone was looking at him. He felt weird for having been this close to Magnus which had made his body react in a lower place. _Welcome where the big boys play_ , he congratulated himself inwardly.

''I never thought you would make out in front of everyone.''

''Me neither,'' he admitted. ''And stop talking about it, it bothers me,'' he scowled.

Izzy chuckled. ''I'm happy for you, Alec, I always thought you'd end up alone or something like that...Besides, you begin to accept yourself and you're more cheerful. ''

Alec glanced up and narrowed his eyes. ''I'm not confident enough to be with him,'' he whispered.

Izzy sighed and took his arm. ''He's confident enough for two,'' she said, standing up. ''And stop sulking in your corner, everyone found you hot, cute and horny. Don't make a fuss.''

Alec let out a strangled noise but didn't move, Izzy shook her head and joined Clary and Jace whereas Magnus was talking with Catarina and Ragnor, and people Alec had never seen. They were looking at Magnus as if they wanted to devour him alive.

Then he suddenly remembered that he had to convince Lydia.

How could he be persuasive ? Neither one nor the other wished to have a relationship with each other, Lydia probably had someone and Alec had Magnus. He looked at Izzy and Jace, if he was motivated enough he would work wonders, even Robert said it. But if it meant flirting and manipulating Lydia, Alec was not really up for it. How could he convince her in this case ?

Alec was surrounded by experts: Magnus, Jace and Izzy knew how to please people. It was almost in their genes. They had a different beauty, a different character, but they had one thing in common: their confidence. That was the key. But Alec wasn't confident at all.

The events took a strange turn for the worse. He could never flirt with Lydia with a purpose as his commitments with his father, he would be too riddled with guilt. Honesty was the right thing to do.

A glass of juice appeared under his nose with a hand he was recognizing well.

''Lost in your thoughts ?'' asked Magnus sitting next to him.

The throat tightened, Alec glanced at Magnus and tried to convince himself that he was doing what was right for him and his siblings.

x

Jace had gone for the weekend with Clary in Haiti, he had needed money for that. Everything revolved around money for Alec lately, the Lightwoods had always led an easy life and all habits died hard.

Returning from the pizzeria, Alec noticed that Max had searched his room. Fortunately he had changed his hiding place just a few days ago.

So Max didn't give up and was still looking for something.

But Alec did as if nothing happened and Max did the same by jumping on the pizza.

*

Alec didn't contact Lydia Branwell yet and was lamenting inwardly while stroking Chairman Meow.

''You are so lost in your thoughts those days,'' said Magnus in an amused tone, joining him on the sofa.

''I'm thinking about you,'' he half-joked, it was true as soon as he was thinking about Lydia, he thought about Magnus with guilt.

Magnus narrowed his eyes with a satisfied smile and stretched his long legs on the coffee table next to Alec's. The latter smiled inside, pressed his leg against his and continued to stroke the tabby cat absently.

''Focus on me,'' Magnus told him grabbing his leg and putting it on his.

He let his hand on his inner thigh and pulled it up, making Alec stiffened. The latter tried to escape but Magnus was still firmly holding his leg with a little smile, and he stopped in the middle of his thigh.

''You know we can have sex between men ?'' he asked in a cheeky tone.

Alec looked away, mortified that they were already talking about this. Magnus sighed and took Chairman Meow from his lap. Of course he knew, even if his parents only had given him the speech about heterosexual intercourse. Embarrassed, he felt a familiar warmth over his face.

''You're blushing, '' Magnus said with affection. ''We have to talk about this matter sooner or later.''

''I know,'' growled Alec.

Magnus' grin widened and he cupped Alec's face in his hands in order to make him look at him but Alec was too embarrassed

''Alexander, sex is something natural, you don't have to be scared.''

''I'm not scared,'' he retorted making Magnus' eyebrows raised. ''Let's talk about something else,'' he begged.

''What's bothering you ?''

Alec let out a deep sigh and tried to get away from Magnus and away from the sofa, but Magnus was still holding his leg and moved Alec to make him face him. It was unavoidable. Alec closed his eyes and sat in a crossed-leg position, Magnus did the same, making their knees touch and Alec kept his gaze focused on Magnus' hands which were absently patting his shins.

''You don't want to ?''

''I don't know,'' Alec muttered.

And he shyly looked up at Magnus who was still staring at him. There was this indecipherable gleam in his eyes, and Alec was afraid to see a disdainful pout on his face. But it didn't appear. Alec grabbed Magnus' hands and interleaved their fingers together.

''I ... I never really thought about it,'' he added lowly. '' You want to ?'' he asked with a wince.

 _Dumb question_ , he realized when Magnus tilted his head and gave him a weary look. Magnus wanted to have sex obviously.

''Of course I do.''

An incredulous smile appeared on Alec's smile, Magnus wanted him he should feel flattered and he was, but he was also scared. He was in a totally unfamiliar situation. And it wasn't as if Alec could actually make him want him. He was always trying to escape by shuddering each time he felt Magnus' hands under his belt and even sometimes above. _I'm so lame_ , he thought.

''Well I don't, because I'm not ready,'' he abruptly retorted.

Magnus didn't look away and Alec winced when he saw his smile widened.

''I know that you're not ready, you barely let me touch you.''

It was not a criticism but an observation.

''You don't like it ?'' Alec asked, worried.

Magnus snorted. ''You're not ready, I won't force you.''

Alec fiddled Magnus' rings, staring at them. He knew that Magnus was patient with him and that they were abnormally taking their time.

''And...uh...you would like to touch me more ?''

''It's so kindly asked,'' Magnus joked, pulling him against him.

Their lips brushed and Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck.

''You don't mind to touch me,'' Magnus whispered, scrutinizing him carefully. ''Whereas when I'm the one to touch you, you tense up.''

Alec had noticed it and glanced at Magnus, urging him to answer his question.

''I'd like to touch you more,'' Magnus admitted with a cheeky smile.

Alec's heart was pounding furiously in his ears when he felt Magnus' hands slid under his teeshirt and stroking his ribs.

''How will you touch me ?'' he asked slightly anxious.

A mischievous glint appeared in Magnus' eyes. ''You'll like it,'' he promised against his neck.

They were still on the sofa and Alec had just removed Magnus' top to touch him better, which made the latter laugh. Alec was sitting between Magnus' uncrossed legs, spreading theirs on each side of the other. Magnus' hands slid down his thighs and his mouth down his neck, making him shiver whereas Alec was looking, slightly subdued, at a topless Magnus.

He had already seen his torso several times between his half-opened shirts during parties or when wearing some low-necked tee-shirt. He kissed his shoulder and let his gaze wander over the naked torso of the latter till his navel and even lower. When Alec refocused on Magnus' face, this one was staring at him with amusement and couldn't help kissing his nose.

''What do you think ?'' he teased, nibbling his chin.

''Not bad,'' Alec confessed with a smile and decided it was high time for Magnus to see once more his tattoos.

''Here we go,'' murmured Magnus eagerly helping him to remove his tee-shirt and unceremoniously throwing it to the other end of the room.

Alec followed its fall with his eyes, not far from Chairman Meow who didn't flinch and continued to bask as if nothing happened. And his eyes met Magnus' predatory ones which studied his body with curiosity. While stroking his arms along his fingers, Magnus carefully watched every tattoos occasionally, putting over his lips, following their contour with them and his nose, and insistently stroked the tip of the balance that was sticking out from his pants, on his hip.

''So ?'' Alec asked shyly.

''Not bad,'' whispered Magnus with a wide grin before kissing him.

Skin against skin was much better, Alec wrapped his legs around Magnus' hips to feel him closer. He didn't expect that he would slide his hands under his bottom to gently raise him and stick his hips against his pelvis. Alec stiffened but slid his arms around Magnus' neck who kissed his chin.

He knew that once they would end their fondling session, he wouldn't dare to look at Magnus right in the eyes without having to remember their fondling. Just thinking about it, Alec felt embarrassed. Even more when Magnus rubbed his hips against his.

Magnus kissed, licked, touched and nibbled everything he could and Alec began to panic when he made him toggle on his back and fell on him. Even when his hand touched his crotch. He decided to react when the latter began to unzip his pants.

''Let's stop ?'' he breathed into his ear.

Magnus painfully rubbed his hips against his with a last roll, that made him shiver, and stopped. He let out a frustrated groan and rested his head in the hollow of his neck, slightly panting, with closed eyes and pinched lips. Alec glanced at his lower abdomen where Magnus' hand had stopped halfway in his pants. _That was close_ , he thought with relief tilting his head backwards.

With an affectionate gesture, Magnus took off a lock of hair from his forehead and smiled. Alec was doing his best to ignore the throbbing sensation in his lower abdomen.

''Why are you blushing ?'' Magnus asked in an amused tone.

Alec groaned and tried to escape, but Magnus was still onto him and didn't move.

Magnus was right, he liked it.

*

Alec had a hard day at Idris and got out from his workplace with relief. He had a long and boring day, Robert harassing him everyday about Lydia. He took his phone and looked at her number. He had to call her.

''Alec ?''

He turned around with a frown and gasped. Reality got him when he saw Lydia coming to him with a sad smile.

**Darling**

_I'll be late._

Alec also moved toward her with a confused smile. ''Hi,'' he greeted her awkwardly.

Lydia adjusted her bag over her shoulder and looked up at his face. ''We need to talk.''

''Yeah.''

 _Don't screw up Alec_ , he thought, _be persuasive._

They went to a bar where Lydia ordered some hard stuff for both of them. Alec gave her a worried look, so they would drink and Lydia was well on the way for that.

''Tough day ?'' he asked.

She turned her head toward him, raised her eyebrows and shook her head in disbelief. ''I knew it, you had nothing to do with all of this,'' she whispered in a victorious tone. ''It seems that you like me but you didn't give that impression during our date last time,'' she joked while drinking her vodka. ''Sorry I don't usually drink but there...''

And she took Alec's vodka and emptied it in one gulp, grinning when she saw his face. ''Your parents didn't specify they were the ones to like me.''

Alec gave her a startled look, his parents seemed to have gum up his work. ''Sorry, they suck sometimes.''

''They managed to convince my family that you and me we were the best thing that could happen on Earth. ''

Alec snorted, Lydia too and ordered some drinks. Alec drank one this time.

''I'm sorry,'' he apologized, giving up on being persuasive or manipulative.

''Don't worry, it's not your fault...'' she said and it made him winced because he was guilty actually. ''I was stupid I should have lied and told them I had someone,'' she snorted. ''They told me that we should get to know each other, otherwise...''

''Otherwise what ?'' Alec asked moving his face closer as if she would whisper a secret.

''I don't know maybe my future in the Branwell office will be compromised and I don't want that no more than I want to disappoint my parents.''

''And...and what about pretending you and me ?'' Alec shyly suggested which earned him an incredulous look from Lydia. ''We could see each other as friends... if you want us to be friends,'' he added lamely.

Lydia was quietly staring at him.

''I know I'm not your type but...uh...it's worse for me, my parents definitely have to believe that you and me we're... '' he evaded with a hand gesture.

''What do you know about my kind of guy ?'' she joked.

Alec blinked, surprised that she didn't protest.

''Let's be friends then, we might see each other from time to time and everyone would think that we are together,'' she whispered, as if to convince herself. ''Let's do that.''

''Really ?''

Lydia nodded. ''My family would leave me alone this way and I would study in peace, without them forcing me to go out with anyone, except you of course, so yes I only see good points.''

''Thank you,'' he said warmly.

''To friendship ?'' she suggested, raising her glass.

They clinked their glasses to friendship and Alec winced with the taste of his drink. They agreed to meet next week in the same restaurant as their first date, drank more glasses and Alec had to call a taxi for a slightly drunk Lydia.

He felt light, as if he got rid of a huge weight. _You're doing what's right for you and your siblings_ , he tried to make himself think.

''I was persuasive,'' Alec stated in a victorious tone to Robert on the phone.

''For once, I'm proud of you, Alexander. You're really ready to do anything this time, uh ? I told you that once you're desperate enough you can work wonders.''

And Alec hung up, he had to see Magnus.

He was hot and felt slightly dizzy. He laughed by himself while pressing the intercom's button. And to think he had thought about breaking up with Magnus at first...everything had been so simple and Alec was happy. For once, everything was simple.

Magnus opened the door with a big smile which froze when Alec threw himself at him and hugged him. But it didn't prevent the latter to return the cuddle with the same fervor. Alec nestled his nose in his neck and sighed with satisfaction.

''Are you drunk ?'' Magnus noticed with astonishment.

''I only drank a little,'' Alec clarified by showing him how much he had drunk with his fingers. ''I was persuasive but it was easy.''

Magnus slightly frowned and looked at him with amusement. ''If you say so, come here.''

''I shouldn't have drink on an empty stomach,'' Alec admitted, shaking his head.

''You'll know for next time, drink.''

And Alec took the glass of water that Magnus held out and emptied it in one gulp. Then, he gave him his most dazzling smile. He felt good and wanted to share it. An affectionate gleam appeared in Magnus' eyes who lifted up his chin in order to kiss him.

''You can be so adorable.''

And Alec wanted to be adorable if Magnus liked it. This was why he wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him once more, resting his chin on his shoulder before closing his eyes with satisfaction.

''Do you want to sleep here ?'' Magnus suggested gently sliding his hands up and down into his back.

''Really ?''

''Of course you can and don't worry we'll just sleep. I won't take advantage of you while you're so euphoric...even if it's tempting.''

''That's very nice of you but why ?''

''It'll be your first time and I don't want you to regret it when it'll happen.''

''How do you want it to happen ?'' asked Alec with a chuckle.

''See ? You're laughing and you're not blushing at all, you're not in your right mind,'' Magnus said. ''How many drinks did you have ?''

Alec looked up at the ceiling, in deep thought. Lydia was way worse. He replied with a shrug and Magnus sighed with fondness.

''Do you want to eat something ?'' he said, drawing back but Alec remained stubbornly hooked to him him like a koala who had found his tree.

''I want to sleep.''

Magnus ran a hand through his hair and sighed. ''Okay, let's go.''

''You'll sleep with me ?''

''You'll sleep with me in my bed,'' corrected Magnus with a wide grin.

Alec followed him, still clinging to him. Magnus' room was large, as the bed in the middle of the room. He couldn't remember if he already had been in his room.

''I thought that you would sleep in silk sheets.''

''Sometimes,'' replied Magnus wiggling his eyebrows. ''It's very pleasant.''

And he opened his closet, Alec looked at Magnus' clothes with curiosity. There were so many of them and they were so colorful that it was almost blinding. Alec smiled and kissed his neck. Magnus sighed and handed him a light and silky dark red pants.

''Pajama pants ?'' asked Alec observing the garment closer.

''You'll be sexy with this one, but also in underwear and even more naked, '' Magnus teased, kissing him back.

When he saw that Alec was seriously considering his offers, he rolled his eyes with exasperation. ''Put it on Alexander. ''

In the bathroom, Alec could feel Magnus' eyes on him which were detailing every inch of his body.

''Red suits me ?''

''Yeah,'' Magnus admitted spitting his toothpaste.

Alec leaned forward and rinsed his mouth and felt Magnus' hand on his bottom.

''Couldn't resist,'' apologized the latter with a cheeky smile.

Alec put his toothbrush next to Magnus' one, who didn't hesitate to take one of those he kept in advance for him, for next time.

''Do you want to see ?'' asked a little too cheerfully Alec pointing his balance with his fingertip.

Magnus who was staring at his hip raised his eyes where shone a skeptical glint. ''Don't complicate things further, whatever you say will be used against you Alexander. ''

Alec gave him a big smile and turned to wipe his mouth on a towel.

''I didn't know this one,'' marveled Magnus kissing the tattoo he had on his back.

''Only one now,'' Alec teased.

Magnus deeply sighed. ''Don't make things harder than they are.''

 

''You removed your makeup,'' noticed Alec. ''And no glitter.''

Magnus was still attractive without his eccentric habits.

''Yeah,'' Magnus confirmed with amusement lifting up the sheets and laying next to him. ''Don't make me regret your presence in my bed,'' he begged in a whisper.

''I'll be good, I'll just sleep and I don't move that much...I think.''

Magnus suspiciously looked at him with narrowed eyes and turned to switch off the bedside lamp. Alec felt the mattress sagged and a rustle of the sheets, and smiled. The bed was comfortable, it smelled good Magnus, he was no longer dizzy but his heart was still beating too fast to fall asleep.

He turned toward Magnus, wondering if he already was asleep, and it turned out that he wasn't when he slid an arm around his waist and pulled him against him. Alec clung to him, slipped a leg between his -and had to go up a little too high as it made Magnus flinched-, and nestled his face in the hollow between the pillow and his neck.

''Why did you drink ?'' Magnus finally asked while stroking his side.

Alec grabbed Magnus' pants strings and played with it absently. Obsessed by Magnus' neck, he forgot the question, preferring to kiss it and rub his nose against it. Magnus' hand stopped brushing his skin and froze. Alec took the opportunity to stick completely against him and sighed contentedly while undoing the knot of the said pants.

''Oops,'' he whispered with a wince, trying to tie the strings together thinking that Magnus didn't notice.

Magnus let out an exasperated growl and grabbed his wrists to prevent him from touching his crotch.

''You'll lose your pants,'' Alec tried to justify himself.

''If you hadn't play with it, I wouldn't lose it. Too bad for you.''

''I don't mind, it's for you, you can catch a cold with pants down.''

Magnus snorted which made Alec smiled and kissed his chin, his jawline that he showered with kisses and went down into his neck and his shoulder. His smile widened when he felt Magnus' pulse and breathing sped up.

The latter took a deep breath, slid a hand behind his neck and hungrily kissed him. Alec slipped his tongue into his mouth which he explored frantically while rubbing his hips against his. Magnus moaned and grabbed his ass, climbing on him before making him spread his legs with his knees, and placed himself between them with a roll of his hips that made Alec softly gasped and shuddered.

The sensations were more intense as the fabric that was separating them was thinner. The darkness of the room was now covered with sheets rustling, bodies rubbing against each other, their moans smothered with kisses and their jerky breath.

Their mouth were still feverishly exploring each other as their hands. Magnus slipped his hand devoid of rings in Alec's pants and grabbed his manhood. Surprised, Alec bit Magnus' lips when his hand stroked him before squeezing him harder against him and nestling his face in his shoulder. Magnus began to devour his neck with bites and kisses, and went down kissing every bite he was doing. When Alec realized what Magnus intended to do when his mouth almost reached his lower abdomen, he gasped.

''Not that,'' he whispered, pulling his hair.

Magnus looked up, he had stopped at his navel, a hand still in his pajama pants. Thinking he had pulled his hair too hard, Alec removed his hands as if he had burned himself. Then, Magnus rested his forehead against his belly and let out a frustrated groan.

''I knew it,'' he growled against his belly. ''What comforts me is the face you'll make tomorrow morning when you'll wake up, Alexander,'' Magnus whispered against his ear when he laid on him. ''You'll be so embarrassed and I'll be so happy to remind you everything we've done,'' he added staring at him with a smirk.

Alec couldn't look away feeling his breath against his lips. He put his hands on Magnus' backside and kissed him but as he missed his mouth his lips reached his chin that he nibbled playfully.

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

''I'll take a shower and sleep in the sofa, '' he growled getting out from bed and heading toward the bathroom.

Alec felt slightly guilty but at least he wanted to sleep now. He turned on his stomach to relieve the throbbing pain of his boner and sighed, trying to think about something else but as his thoughts were not clear, they were not deep.

But one thing was known for sure, not breaking up with Magnus was selfish but until now it was the best decision he had made in his life.

Alec finally fell asleep dreaming of turtles which sparkled like diamonds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See ? It was not that angsty (for once) ! 
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes as always ! 
> 
> Next chapter (Secrets), next Monday ! :)


	9. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, your comments and kudos ! :)

Alec slept stretched out like a starfish hooked on a rock in a huge bed. Head under the pillow, he was surprised at first that his bed was that comfortable and smelled as good as Magnus. And then, he remembered everything.

Alec blinked and shyly poked his head out from under the pillow. He was alone and let out a sigh of relief. He got up, stretched and glanced with a wince at his own reflection in the mirror. The first thing that caught his eye was not his shaggy mop of hair but the purplish marks next to his tattoos, from his neck to his navel. Embarrassed, he buried his head in his hands and groaned.

He stupidly stared at the bedroom door, not daring to open it. He took a deep breath and opened it apprehensively.

Magnus really slept on the couch with Chairman Meow coiled in his neck. His hickeys were nicely rivaling with his own and his pajama pants were awfully low... Alec looked away and went into the kitchen. It was still early and he was starving. He took the biggest apple in the fruit basket, rinsed it and chomped on it.

He startled when he felt two arms wrapped around his waist and shuddered when Magnus' mouth ended up in his neck. Alec turned around and Magnus took a bite on his apple with puffy eyes, then blinked slowly and snuggled his head in the crook of Alec's neck.

Alec grinned, assailed by guilt. ''Do you still want to sleep ?''

Magnus groaned against his neck, Alec threw his apple core out and led him into his room. Magnus followed him, eyes half closed and with an uncertain walk. Alec gently pushed him into the bed and looked at him with amusement when the latter decided to stretch like a cat in the sheets. After weighing the pros and cons, he decided to lie down beside him and closed his eyes.

He was awake but his eyes remained stubbornly closed. He was on his back and his head was no longer on the pillow. There was a rustle of sheets and the mattress sank near him. He suddenly shuddered when Magnus kissed him on his cheek. He grunted, which only encouraged Magnus to go on and bombarded him with kisses here and there. Besides, his hand was dangerously going down towards his groin, stroking his skin with his long fingers. Alec opened his eyes, Magnus was staring at him with a mischievous look, which didn't look good.

''Time for payback,'' he murmured against his ear.

Alec stiffened when Magnus' hand fiddled with his pants strings, moving his hand up and down from his navel to his crotch. The latter stared at him with a predatory smile, looking as if he was having a lot of fun.

''I had to relieve myself in the shower and when I came back I found you sleeping soundly quite cozily... ''

Alec groaned. ''I am sorry.''

''Sorry how ?'' asked Magnus nonchalantly undoing Alec's pants strings.

''Like really sorry,'' sighed the latter looking at Magnus' hand touching insistently his hip where his balance was tattooed.

Actually, Magnus' hand was stroking, with the palm of his hand, at his hipbones insistently, carelessly dragging the tip of his fingers in Alec's pants who instinctively pulled his stomach in while holding his breath.

''I swear Magnus, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to be like this !'' he squealed grabbing his wrist.

Eyes locked together, Alec could feel Magnus' breath against his cheek. The latter brought his face closer in order to make their nose touched.

''Would you rather we resume everything that happened or that I describe everything in every detail ?''

''It's so kind of you to leave me no choice,'' Alec joked nervously. ''What time is it ?''

''You won't get away that easily Alexander,'' Magnus murmured against his temple. ''We have all the time we need.''

The ideal for Alec would have been to choose the least embarrassing but both of Magnus' propositions were the same to him. He bit his lips and kissed Magnus' neck.

''I did this ?'' he asked, touching hickeys.

''Who else ?'' smirked Magnus pressing his body against his.

Alec wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him again but at his collarbones this time. ''And...and what about taking your revenge later ?''

Magnus snorted. ''Then, never with you and I'm not very patient.''

Alec felt his hands dangerously going down on his backside. ''And what about interests ?''

The hands stopped and Magnus' mouth went up along his jawline to nibble his earlobe. ''Interests ? What kind of interests? ''

''The more you deferred your vengeance the more you'll have benefits.''

''Benefits ?'' Magnus murmured sticking his forehead against his.

Alec instinctively began to count the gold sparks in his green eyes. Magnus' smile widened.

''What kind of benefits ?'' he asked softly and pressing himself closer against his body.

''What you're currently imagining.''

''How do you know what I'm imagining? It means you are too.''

Alec smiled shyly. ''So ?''

''I don't know why, I feel like I'm smelling a trap. But okay.''

''Really ? I thought you were not very patient ... ''

Magnus snorted and kissed his nose. ''It will be worth the wait and believe me or not, I'm very patient with you. It sometimes surprises me. ''

Alec slightly smiled reassured and kissed him at the corner of the mouth.

*

Alec refused to shower together despite Magnus' cheeky smile and was quite surprised that he was ready for work so quickly.

Magnus looked at him with his fresh make-up and gave him a dazzling smile. His cheekbones shone with a golden glow, highlighting the yellow of his eyes which were already highlighted by a black line, and giving him a more exotic look than usual.

Alec looked away with a smile and ran a hand through his hair. Magnus hastened immediately to restyle it for him.

''It's useless, you're wasting your time,'' he sighed with amusement.

Magnus stepped back with a satisfied smile and narrowed his eyes when Alec pretended to raise his hands to mess up his hair for the umpteenth time. But he did nothing, he would do it later in the subway for example, when Magnus will not be next to him.

''I'll know it when you destroy my masterpiece,'' Magnus warned.

''What masterpiece ?'' Alec grumbled, putting on his jacket.

''When will I see you again ?'' asked Magnus grabbing his hands.

''I don't know.''

Alec remained on his guard thinking of the future revenge Magnus promised.

Magnus stared at him a moment before smiling. ''I have something for you.''

Alec was expecting either a sweater or a trinket he had forgotten once, but not a double of Magnus' keys that were just handed to him. He looked at them in bewilderment and looked from Magnus to the keys.

''Those are keys,'' Magnus clarified mockingly.

Alec still said nothing, thinking about the symbolism of this gesture. He was happy, very happy but also scared and a little anxious, he had to admit. It's not every day that someone could receive keys from someone else.

''This way you can come when you want,'' murmured Magnus.

Alec still said nothing, he didn't know what to say. _'Thank you?_ ', _'I'll take care of them?'_ , _'See you next time ?'_

''And you'd better go if you don't want to be late, '' he went on with amusement.

Alec finally raised his head, looked at him with a strange feeling in the stomach and grabbed his shirt. Their teeth clashed violently against each other, making them both wince and Alec muttered a _'sorry'_ that Magnus stifled with a lick.

''I'm late,'' he finally managed to murmur against his neck.

Magnus snorted. ''I'm already late, so I don't care at all. ''

Alec sighed and gave him a weary look. ''Behave like a responsible adult. ''

Magnus raised an eyebrow. ''You're so more mature than me sometimes,'' he marveled. ''And I'm older.''

''Age doesn't make you more mature, you're the perfect example. And I'm not more mature but more responsible.''

Magnus made a face that magnified his amazing eyes and a smile that made Alec watch him with fondness.

''Be good,'' he said, opening the front door

''And my kiss? ''

Alec looked at him, frowning. ''Just one.''

Magnus gently took his face in his hands.

''You changed your nail polish? ''

''Yes, it goes with your eyes.''

Their nose brushed and Magnus' mouth landed gently on his. It was a very long peck, eye to eye, which made Alec sighed through the nose.

''Why am I not surprised ?''

''Because you wanted to. ''

Magnus kissed his nose and followed him into the elevator.

*

Alec took refuge in the toilets of Idris when he saw his father in the hallway a little further. He was not ready to see him, emotionally and physically speaking. First, he was feeling guilty regarding the contract and secondly, Magnus had left some obvious marks on his neck. And he didn't want to see his father so early.

He was behaving like a teenager who would be soon taken in flagrante delicto.

*

Alec had fallen asleep in a strange position. Neck on the edge of the couch and his arms curled under his voluminous book. No wonder he had a weird tingling sensation in his arms. He groaned and grabbed his phone on the coffee table. He blinked, surprised for having so many missed calls from Lydia, Izzy, Jace, Max and Magnus. He wondered briefly if today was a special day but no.

Lydia and Max were the only ones who didn't sent a message explaining the reason for their call. Izzy warned him that her dance spectacle would take place in the week, Jace that he came back, and Magnus who wanted to know if he still treasured his keys.

He sighed and decided to call back Lydia, who picked her phone quickly.

''You're very early,'' she joked.

Alec frowned and looked at the time. It was two in the morning. He gasped, Lydia chuckled.

''I still haven't slept, so don't worry. I wanted to apologize for last time. ''

''Oh... don't worry, you were not really that drunk. ''

''And I wanted to thank you for the taxi. Usually I don't drink I don't know why, maybe I was possessed by some... random demon of alcohol.''

Alec smiled, he had been too then. ''Me too, I'm not used to alcohol. ''

''It shouldn't become a habit,'' she joked. ''Imagine that each time we meet, we drink. ''

''It is enough to deal with our families. ''

Lydia chuckled. ''Let's meet Thursday evening ? I'd appreciate it. ''

''Yeah, what time? ''

''I don't know, like last time at 9:00 p.m.? Let's wait for each other at the entrance.''

''Okay...See you.''

''Good night,'' she said before hanging up.

Alec looked at his phone for a long time hoping that he wouldn't forget to call Max tomorrow morning and went to sleep in his bed.

The marks on his neck had still not disappeared, he should have been used to it and yet he hoped they would disappear as quickly as they had appeared. He rubbed his neck in the mirror of the bathroom and sighed deeply.

He didn't have to call Max, he was the one who did.

''You're not supposed to be at school already? '' he gently told his little brother off.

He was currently with his friends and was surround with laughter and hubbub.

''You know, Alec, I think I found something. ''

This one froze and held his breath instinctively. What did he find and how ? He was silent a little too long to dispel suspicion.

''Impossible.''

''You just confirm that there was really something to find Alec, I'll increase my efforts. It is as if I had found the light, but I didn't know which path I need to choose, you see? ''

''Max.''

''Alec? ''

''There's nothing to find so stop it,'' he ordered a little too sharply.

''On the contrary, and you implicitly confirmed it by your silence.''

''It means nothing and continue like this and you'll no longer be welcome in my place,'' he retorted childishly.

He heard an offended noise and felt satisfied. Max thought it would be wiser to change the subject.

''Izzy invited me to her spectacle and told me that I could bring Ellie with me, we'll go together? ''

''You'll come right after school ? ''

''Yes.''

''Okay. ''

''Alec? ''

''Yeah ?'' said the latter with suspicion.

''I am quite a good detective, '' Max muttered proudly before hanging up.

Alec swore.

*

Alec knew he wouldn't find anything but he didn't want to underestimate his little brother either. It disturbed him for the rest of the week. Many things had disturbed him this week actually, mainly his father that he had sought to avoid all week long with his hickeys, and Magnus that he had not seen because of their too intense moments they had shared. Including the impure thoughts he had when he was thinking of him.

This time, Lydia and himself had made slightly more effort in their clothes than usual, but just a little. They looked at each other with a smile and entered in the gourmet restaurant that was The Palace. Alec wore a sweater, especially covering his neck, and already began to feel hot.

''You like this place ? '' he asked.

Lydia leaned over the table while touching her long blonde braid. ''I hate this place even if I'm used to it but...maybe I'm paranoiac or something like that but I think somebody is watching us. ''

Alec blinked and stared at her with astonishment. ''Uh...''

Lydia gave him her most gentle smile and continued in the same tone. ''It would look like my parents's doing to check on me like everything is okay, she's doing fine ... ''

''Mine too but not for my well-being... So we must eat here the time we're seeing each other? ''

''Yes...fortunately we have the means. ''

''Yeah '' he said, smiling weakly. ''Especially with our parents.''

Lydia chuckled and pulled her braid over her shoulder. ''I admit that I too would prefer a different place. If there was really someone monitoring us, well, that person would have to follow us.''

''If we were being watched. ''

Lydia's smile deepened. ''If we were being watched. I'm sure we can find an arrangement. ''

''We could behave like rotten spoiled children, and tell them that this restaurant is not for us.''

''Not enough pizza '' chuckled Lydia which made Alec laughed. ''We're a good couple of paranoids you and me. ''

''Yeah don't worry, you're not alone.''

They talked about simple things that two strangers could afford to trade without giving too much away and without making things awkward. Alec really started to appreciate Lydia and it already seemed mutual.

This time they even took dessert.

''See you next week ?'' she asked with a small smile. ''Text me to tell me what your parents said.''

Alec smiled and nodded. ''You too, good night. ''

He watched her walking away with a smile and went on foot. His phone buzzed and he suddenly remembered that it was not the first time.

''Hello ?''

''I didn't say that I'll jump on you as soon as I see you for my revenge.''

Alec's heart did a jerk in his chest. ''You should have been clearer then.''

Magnus snorted.

''And I still have your keys. ''

''You're out ? What's a nice boy like you doing out at this hour? ''

It was now almost midnight.

''Health walk. ''

Magnus chuckled. ''A health walk? If you want to stay healthy we could play some sport together. ''

Alec slowed down, it was a big sexual innuendo. How should he react?

''You'll be there tomorrow? ''

''Of course I will, everyone will be there for our dear Izzy! I heard that Max is coming too.''

''With his girlfriend, I'll be with them.''

''He already has a girlfriend ? You are all Casanova in the family. ''

Alec's silence had to speak for him and his wince had been eloquent enough for Magnus to chuckle.

''You have me Alexander, so you are in the Casanova category. I'm quite a big catch, right? ''

''A big fish you mean?''

Magnus laughed. ''I'd rather be compared to a mermaid but it's almost the same. ''

Alec smiled like an idiot. ''A mermaid very sparkly.''

''You like the mermaid that I am, right? ''

''I guess, if you like big fishes.''

He thought he had gone too far but Magnus laughed.

''See you tomorrow Alexander, sweet dreams.''

''You too.''

*

Alec was nervous to meet Max's girlfriend. A fourteen years old girl and he was a little afraid. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

Max gave him a big smile as bright as the girl's one next to him. She was slightly taller than his little brother and was as blond as he was brown and had green eyes. She was cute.

''Hi,'' he awkwardly greeted them.

He walked into the kitchen to prepare a snack but could distinctly hear what Ellie was saying.

''He looks so much better in real life than in your pictures !'' she squealed. ''He has a girlfriend ?''

''It's a family thing and I'd say yes given the state of his neck,'' Max simply answered.

Alec gasped and swore inwardly. The marks started to disappear, but they were still there. He pulled stupidly the collar of his shirt and noticed the amused look of the two teenagers. He began to hope that the two hours they'll spent together will not make him suffer more than necessary.

In the subway, Alec felt like a father watching his son. Ellie was funny and nice and seemed to really love Max. Something quite mutual. He wondered how Izzy would react when she'll see her and hoped she won't scared her by jumping on her.

''It's still early,'' commented Max while readjusting his glasses.

The theater they entered was huge and promised to fill very quickly.

''There're a lot of men,'' noticed Ellie.

''Izzy said that there were only foxes.''

''And she is part of them of course,'' said Max with a big smile.

There were not many men in it honestly. More like family, friends, friends of friends... And it made a lot of them actually. Alec winced, he hated crowded places.

''Hey, it's Magnus the guy that I met with you the other day ! '' Max enthusiastically said.

''He's really handsome,'' sighed Ellie. ''You are surrounded by fascinating people,'' she said to Max as if she was praising him.

Alec was not listening, he thought he had just seen Robert in the crowd of people who were beginning to fill the hall. What was he doing here ? Izzy would have never invited him.

''Find Izzy and Jace, '' he whispered to Max. ''I think I saw Robert.''

Max's eyes narrowed. '' What's he doing here? I didn't tell him anything, '' he retorted.

Alec smiled and ruffled his hair. He went to the spot where he had seen his father a few seconds before, but even tall as he was he couldn't see him. He sighed and turned to trip over Magnus who held him by the waist.

''You scared me,'' exclaimed Alec.

Magnus tightened his grip around his waist, smiled and leaned down to kiss him. Alec stiffened and pulled away from him, feeling a little distressed when he saw the slight frown of Magnus' eyebrows.

He just had rejected him and a heavy silence added to a glaring contest between them. Magnus leaned quickly and managed to steal a kiss under the horrified gaze of Alec who immediately checked if they had been seen and especially if Robert was around. Magnus narrowed his eyes while taking his hand and led him to where were the others.

Alec withdrew his hand as soon as they came towards the others. And there, he noticed that Magnus wore his hickeys shamelessly, without hiding them at all. He joined the circle as quietly as he could away from Magnus and beside Max and Ellie. Izzy was talking with Clary and Catarina and the others were listening.

Max suddenly grasped his arm.

''I saw him too, he is prowling like a shark.''

Alec followed his gaze and saw his father with an amused smile who was dangerously coming closer and closer. If he could Alec would have made an alert sound as the dolphins and whales did to warn their peers. Max and Alec followed him with their gaze. But Robert didn't really approach, he was observing them and Alec knew what he was thinking with his disdainful pout.

''I think he wants to talk to you,'' murmured Max.

''Yeah, I think so too... You were good right? ''

Max gave him an annoyed look. ''No more than you if it makes you feel any better. Come back alive. ''

Alec snorted and disappeared as quietly as possible not without making eye contact with the suspicious gaze of Simon. Magnus was busy talking with people Alec didn't know at all, that Izzy and Jace seemed to have already seen.

''So those are your friends Alexander? '' asked Robert.

''What are you doing here?'' Alec said following him to a quieter and less crowded place.

Robert raised his eyebrows. ''I respect our deal, didn't I say that I would behave like a good father?''

Alec looked at him with widened eyes. If he wasn't so anxious he would have laughed.

''I don't know if someone already said that but you're an eyesore among your friends. ''

''I know, everyone is too good for me,'' he whispered weakly.

''And they didn't even notice you were gone,'' Robert continued with an amused smile. ''They are not really good friends in this case, isn't it?''

''What do you want ?'' Alec asked too abruptly.

''I wanted to know about Lydia.''

''I did what you asked me to do.''

''And I congratulate you, but if you think I don't know why you've been avoiding me all week Alexander you are quite mistaken.''

Alec stiffened and the desire to lay his hand on his neck strongly ate at him. Even if he was able to control his breathing, he couldn't say the same about his heart beat.

''Maybe if you weren't so pale...those marks... would have been less obvious. As on the neck of your friend Magnus.''

Alec literally forgot to breathe and did his best to keep a straight face. Robert was staring at him, clearly expecting a reaction.

''Surely a girlfriend ? I think I saw him just yesterday with a beautiful dark-haired lady.''

Alec was kind of grateful toward Magnus for being bisexual.

''It must be his new girlfriend,'' he muttered.

''Surely, otherwise, why would they have kissed?''

Alec who had been carefully avoiding looking at his father, stared at him straight in the eye. He still didn't know how he really felt for Magnus. It was not _Love_ but it didn't prevent him from feeling a sharp pain in the heart and it was as if he had received a kick in the stomach.

Either his father was still denying everything, or he really knew nothing, or he had decided to mess with Alec until he lost his cool.

''You're really going to attend Izzy's spectacle ?''

''Why not ?''

Alec began to make a silent prayer in his head for Izzy, hoping she wouldn't noticed their father before the beginning. People swept into the main room. He spotted Clary and noted with amusement that Ellie was slightly taller than her.

''I think I recognized some person, I won't have to sit next to you.''

Relief must have shown on Alec's face because Robert raised an eyebrow.

''I'll tell Izzy what I thought about her performance after. ''

Alec settled at the bottom, on the empty seats he knew unoccupied, and followed his father with an anxious gaze. When he saw that Max was looking for him, he sank into his chair, he wanted to be alone in order to prevent looking as if he was avoiding Magnus. Except it gave the impression he was avoiding everyone now. He sighed, leaned on his elbow on the armrest and stared up at the chandelier.

He was having a headache.

Izzy was right, they were all beautiful and Alec, from where he was could see all the men's attention fully focused on the beautiful dancers. He jumped when a hand rested on his thigh.

''This is where you hide ?'' Magnus murmured. ''Let's hide together then.''

Alec blinked. How did he know where he was? Magnus took advantage of the dark to grab his hand. Alec automatically glanced at where his father was. It was too dark to see anything. Unconsciously, he began fiddling with Magnus' rings. He used to put a big silver ring, rather old, that Alec really liked. He touched its contours, eyes fixed on the stage.

Magnus brought Alec's hand to his lips and gently kissed each of his fingers. ''What's the matter ?''

''Nothing.''

He knew that Magnus was watching him rather than the stage. He relaxed when the latter finally turned his head toward the dancers. And winced when he felt his mouth on his neck. Alec felt a shiver of delight through him and put his hand on his neck.

''Later,'' he murmured against his temple.

Magnus' mouth went back to his, dropping a trail of kisses. It was dark and Alec could barely see him. That was why he kissed him back and felt Magnus' smile against his lips.

''Izzy will blame us if we're not watching.''

''She'll never know.''

''I'll tell her.''

Magnus snorted. ''And I'll tell her you're guilty because you distracted me.''

Alec smiled and Magnus groaned. ''There's no room for my legs.''

Alec sighed. ''Do as I did.''

He was better placed and could extend one leg in the aisle.

''And don't put them on the chair in front of you even if there's no-one there,'' he told him off.

Magnus sighed. ''I've never seen so much beauty together in one place.''

Alec smiled. ''Everything happens.''

''Izzy has always loved dancing ?''

''She likes anything that requires effort. ''

Alec bit his lip, dying to ask an indiscreet question. ''Magnus, did you go out with many women?''

Magnus moved his legs and sank again in his chair. ''How many are many for you?''

Alec smiled. ''Up to you to tell me. ''

''Honestly I don't know, in all, I would say that I went out with a lot of people and I had a period where it was only sex... Well, I don't even know if I've been with more men than women... why?''

''Just curious.''

''Anything else you want to know? ''

''If we're going to watch Izzy's spectacle or talk ?''

''We can do both. ''

'' I can't. ''

''So what are we doing right now ? ''

''We're trying to be quiet and watch my sister's performance. ''

 

Jace and Clary were talking about their trip to Hawaii, Alec nodded from time to time. He hadn't seen Robert since it ended.

''Izzy it was so good !'' Catarina said with a grin.

While everyone was complimenting her, Max took the opportunity to get closer.

''So ?''

Alec replied with a shrug.

''You do that when you don't want to lie, tell me !'' Max insisted.

Alec rolled his eyes, which made Max narrowed his.

''Tell me.''

''No.''

''Yes.''

''No.''

''Yes.''

''I won't.''

They glared at each other and Ragnor chimed in with a smirk.

''Come on brothers no fighting even if it would be cute.''

They huffed and Alec met the amused look of Catarina, who was standing right next to Magnus and Simon.

When Izzy came closer to Alec, Magnus did the same.

''If you think I didn't see you, you're wrong.''

Alec frowned and Magnus gave her his most dazzling smile.

''Izzy, as beautiful as the dancers were, I couldn't fight against your brother's sex appeal. ''

Alec gasped when he saw the astonishment gleam in his little brother's eyes who looked at them with surprised. Then he turned toward Ellie.

''Or a boyfriend,'' he said with a smile.

Magnus glanced at them and offered them a glittery wink. Max gave him a dazzling smile whereas Alec exchanged a panicked look with Izzy who patted his arm in a comforting gesture before joining Simon.

Alec carefully avoided Max's gaze who was trying to talk to him since earlier. All were laughing at a joke that Jace had just told, except Alec who didn't listen and Simon who had all his attention focused on Izzy. Alec could almost see him drool. He thought back about the papaya incident, when Simon was a little drunk, and their conversation: to interest yourself in someone else in order to forget.

''I never knew you had so many talents Izzy.''

All the Lightwoods children twitched and turned in one and same motion towards their father. Farewell sparkling smiles and confidence. The change was radical, and Alec clearly saw the astonishment in the eyes of others. Magnus instinctively touched his wrist and frowned.

Jace, as always, was the most courageous one. ''Hi Robert, it's been a long time.''

Robert looked at him with an amused smile, a smile that didn't reach his eyes and disappeared entirely when his eyes fell on Clary, and on the hand in which she held Jace's. Robert then looked up at Alec who averted his gaze.

''You must be Clary ?'' he said, shaking her hand. ''Alexander told me that everybody loves you, especially Jace. ''

Alec winced, his father said his first name in an unusual manner, something that didn't seem to please Magnus who moved forward.

''You must be Robert Lightwood ? I'm Magnus Bane,'' he said, offering his hand.

Alec couldn't see his face but could see Jace's and Ragnor's and it was not pretty. Every time, he was surely making his special smirk and eyes that contained all the contempt of the world.

''I know who you are, you have a reputation that precedes you.''

''You too.''

Izzy took the opportunity to stick to Alec. ''Why is he here ?''

''He wanted to see you dance.''

''Why ?''

''I don't know.''

Alec was glad for not being the one to face Magnus who was standing as straight as possible in an attempt to intimidate his interlocutor. His facial expressions were certainly as terrifying as his attitude.

Robert quickly finished his respectable father show and threw a last glance at Clary as if she was a miserable insect.

''I'm going home, you too Max. ''

''It's Friday, I'm going to Alec's place. ''

''Your brother has something else to do. ''

''I don't, '' said the latter. ''Max can come and sleep, he already settled his stuff,'' he lied.

Robert narrowed his eyes, looking carefully from one to the other. ''Fine.''

He was going away when he suddenly turned around as if he had forgotten to say something extremely important and watched Magnus with amusement. ''From time to time, go to the Palace with your girlfriend and Alexander will come with Lydia, it could be nice.''

A feeling of emptiness invaded Alec when he felt the stares of the others on him, especially Magnus' one. Robert observed them a moment expecting some reaction, as they were none he walked away.

''Well,'' said Simon. ''I know someone who really needs to relax ! Don't worry you're not really alike, I suppose that we can guess you're from the same family but not that much.''

''Did you see how he looked at me ?'' exclaimed Clary with astonishment.

''As if you were less than nothing, '' Simon lamented, shaking his head. ''I feel sorry for you, '' he said, turning towards Max who was staring at Alec as if his life depended on it.

''Who's Lydia ?'' he asked.

Ellie took the opportunity to go home, kissed Max and waved her hand at everyone.

''No one,'' he muttered.

''Same as Magnus supposed girlfriend then,'' chimed in Catarina.

''I'm no longer hungry, '' growled Jace.

''I still am,'' said Izzy. ''Let's go and eat !''

Alec stared at the floor, he didn't feel well. A flood of emotions whirled inside of him and was choking him. Magnus gently took his wrist.

''We will join you later.''

Max cast a suspicious look at Magnus, who judged wise to not make his wink or one of his usual smiles.

 

''You said we would join them later,'' Alec noticed when they got into a taxi.

Magnus gave him a weary look. ''Are you able to eat anything ? Personally, I want to throw up. ''

Alec smiled and rested his head on his shoulder. ''What's your plan? ''

''Distract you.''

''Really? ''

''Yeah and what your father said... it's nonsense. ''

Alec said nothing, staring at Magnus' dark red nail polish.

''Right ?''

''Yeah,'' he answered with a strangled voice.

Magnus kissed his forehead and they went home.

 

Sitting on the couch with a glass of orange juice in his hand, Alec was staring at Magnus who was trying to catch Chairman Meow on the shelf.

''He perches himself higher and higher nowadays,'' commented Magnus gently putting his cat on the ground.

Chairman Meow immediately threw himself on Alec's lap who hastened to stroke him. Magnus sighed and slumped beside him.

They watched a silly show that made them laugh from time to time, enough to distract them and to make them forget about Robert Lightwood. Magnus didn't wait a long time before taking Alec in his arms.

''Whatever you hear about me, and especially from your father, don't listen to them and if you have any doubt just ask me.''

''You're talking about your supposed girlfriend ? ''

Magnus smiled. ''I would be polygamous if everyone thought that I was dating all the women around me.''

He rested his chin on his shoulder and took a deep breath.

''I love you, Alexander.''

Alec wondered if he had heard correctly. _Love ?_ It was a big word, there was so much in such a small word, and he felt as if he was unworthy to hear it. Of course, he knew that Magnus liked him but now it was involving something more precious and more dangerous which was a little scary.

Magnus kissed him. Confused, Alec slightly hesitated before kissing him back.

When Magnus stood up looking for some popcorn in the kitchen, Alec noticed with sadness that not a single moment Magnus had wanted him to voice his feelings for him. He had the impression of having missed the opportunity to tell him that his curiosity had evolved into something stronger that he didn't dare to name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter (Relationship), next Monday ! :)
> 
>  
> 
> And thank you cazamaree for this chapter ! ;)


	10. Relationship(s)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, your kudos and comments ! :)

Alec was not used to eat popcorn. He would eat it from time to time with Max in the movie theater and here, with Magnus. He took a look at him with worry, as if his _'I love you'_ had revealed a disease. Love was almost one, he had read a lot about this complicated subject.

Now, he could be reassured, Magnus wouldn't cheat on him or go elsewhere. He could tell his father next time: ' _'You're wrong because Magnus said he loved me.'_ ' And then, Robert would lose his mind and carry out his threats.

''I think your phone is buzzing,'' Magnus said while picking a handful of popcorn in a large bowl.

Alec blinked and carefully listened. Effectively. He got up and went to pick it up in his vest.

''Everything's okay ?'' asked Izzy.

''I'd say yes, what about you ?''

''Still at the restaurant and don't worry I'll take Max with me this weekend, enjoy your evening with Magnus,'' she told him a little too cheerfully.

Alec turned towards Magnus and saw him taking Chairman Meow in his arms.

''Seems that Robert knows,'' Izzy added in a more serious tone. ''About you and Magnus.''

So he was not the only one to think this way. Alec said nothing. He knew she was going to continue.

''Otherwise, why would he make stupid innuendos about your alleged relationships with imaginary girlfriends ? And who is Lydia ? ''

''No-one.''

''Really ?''

She waited patiently for him to answer before letting out an exasperated sigh that sounded suspiciously like a rattle.

''I feel like I'm speaking alone sometimes... Anyway, have fun with your lover Alec, And Max is really disappointed that you never ever talked to him about Magnus, as he did to you about Ellie. So I told him that he was not alone, you didn't say anything Alec, not even to us.''

It wasn't the first time she talked about it. Alec suddenly thought about Magnus' declaration of love and wanted to ask her advice, but with the one it is concerning not that far way, it was not a very good idea.

''Have fun too and don't poison Max, he's too young.''

Izzy huffed. ''Yeah you too and I know that you still haven't slept with Magnus,'' she hastily added before he hung up.

Alec froze. ''What ?''

''I know you still haven't...''

''I heard you the first time,'' he cut her off. ''Why do you say that ? And how do you know ?''

''I wanted to and there's too much sexual tension between you, you'll tell me when it happens ?''

Alec hastily hung up, mortified by what he had heard.

''Don't just stand there,'' Magnus said in an amused tone. ''Are you hungry ?''

Alec joined him on the couch and put his phone on the coffee table.

''You'll eat a real meal after eating a bowl of popcorn ?''

Magnus, who was about to draw another handful of popcorn narrowed his eyes mischievously and tilted his head.

''Are you scolding me ?''

Alec only smiled. Magnus also smiled and put his head on his shoulder.

''You're right, we'll eat later... You'll stay tonight ?'' he asked, lightly kissing his neck.

''It depends if you're taking your revenge.''

Magnus snorted. ''Not tonight, I expect that my benefits would be more substantial.''

''A real businessman.''

Magnus gave him a big smile and a glittery wink.

 

Chairman Meow acted up when they were preparing the meal. Magnus had taken eggs out and placed them on the table and the tabby cat had decided to play 'making them roll'. Needless to say, dinner didn't include eggs.

Alec was amazed that Magnus was still able to eat so much even after emptying the bowl of popcorn all by himself. While he had hardly eaten anything.

He waited for Magnus to go shower before calling his father.

''Were you expecting something ?'' he asked lowly.

Robert snorted. ''No, not really. I just tried to make things clearer. When will you see Lydia again ?''

''Next week but I still don't know when.''

Robert hummed, thoughtful. ''You'll have to present her to your friends and your siblings one day because it'll be serious, soon.''

''Otherwise, you'll make a fiasco like just now ?''

''Do I need to do another one ? ''

''No.''

''Good, don't forget our terms,'' he said before hanging up.

Alec put down his phone and took Chairman Meow who meowed in his arms.

''He's punished,'' Magnus said, rubbing his hair with a towel. ''Do not touch the cat, we need to make him understand that breaking eggs is just not done.''

Alec took a look at the tabby cat that seemed to make him soft and smiled. He knew that Magnus also wouldn't last long.

Magnus had a shower and a bathtub. It had always amazed Alec and all those products... He took one randomly where it was written for the body. Alec could stay a very long time in the shower which certainly worried Magnus who knocked at the bathroom's door.

''Need help or you're lost in your thoughts ?'' asked his amused voice through the door.

Alec stopped the water. ''I'm getting out if that's your question.''

He wiped quickly and pulled on the silky eggplant pajama bottoms that Magnus had put there. There was no top. Last time either, maybe Magnus did it on purpose.

His smile widened when he found him in bed, on his computer with Chairman Meow nestled in his lap.

''I thought he was punished, '' he teased.

Magnus looked up at him and smiled. ''He made his big eyes at me, I couldn't resist.''

''Did you not give me any top on purpose ?'' he asked while Magnus put his computer on the floor whereas Chairman took the opportunity to toddle toward Alec who took him in his arms again.

He was a little nervous since what happened the last time he had slept here. But Magnus had promised to take revenge later, so all would be well if he kept his word.

''You can't blame me, I don't really have any and I love the contrast of your tattoos on your skin.''

Embarrassed, Alec squeezed Chairman Meow harder against him and patted his pillow, which made Magnus smile. Under the light, his skin had golden highlights and Alec let his gaze wander over his naked torso. The urge to touch him was clawing at him, but Alec didn't dare, he wasn't ready to accept the consequences.

Magnus' smile was teasing when Alec burrowed himself under the covers to avoid his gaze equally insistent.

''I've seen you already,'' laughed Magnus, sticking against him and pushing the sheets away.

''I'm uptight,'' Alec said. ''I feel embarrassed when you're looking at me this way.''

Magnus snorted. ''I would rather say that you're modest and stop hiding, I want to look at you.''

They finally were facing each other and Magnus kissed the hollow between his collarbones, while Chairman Meow was purring somewhere in the room, and they stared at each other. Then, Magnus brought his pillow closer to his.

''Your father, was he always like that ?'' he asked softly, touching the labyrinth tattoo he had over his heart with the tips of his fingers.

Alec frowned, trying to remember if he had always been this way. And he had to admit he had not. Everything had begun to degenerate when Robert had found out he was gay.

''He always had been strict but let's say he lost hope when he saw us growing up and when he saw that no-one would fill his expectations.''

''Not even you ?''

''Especially not me, I'm not as bad as the others as he says...but he knows that I'm gay and he thinks Jace made me this way.''

Magnus huffed. ''Jace made you gay ? So he knows ? You told me he was homophobic but not that he knew.''

''Believe me, he would have rather not known, apparently it was pretty obvious,'' Alec murmured.

''Does that mean he is expecting that you find a girlfriend ?''

''No,'' Alec hastily answered.

Magnus sat up and looked at him skeptically. ''He was very clear just now speaking about a Laura.''

Alec blinked. ''Lydia,'' he corrected with a smile.

Magnus rolled his eyes and made a hand gesture showing that it didn't matter. In order to not make him asking more about Lydia, which would lead him to talk about the contract, Alec thought it would be better to kiss him. It was not the first time he did it to divert his attention but still felt a little guilty.

Magnus narrowed his eyes but deepened the kiss by sliding his arms around his waist and hugged him tighter.

''So there's nothing going on with that girl ?'' he muttered between several kisses.

''Only with you,'' Alec whispered with embarrassment hoping that Magnus won't see him blush.

He felt his smile against his lips and slipped one arm around his waist. Magnus's mouth went down along his jaw to nestle in his neck.

''Not the neck, '' Alec said a little too abruptly.

Magnus looked up. ''You don't like it ?'' he asked anxiously.

On the contrary, he loved it when he kissed and bit his neck but his father would really suspect something and carry out his threats.

''I do, but don't make them noticeable.''

Magnus kissed his nose. ''What I can't do on your neck I'll do it elsewhere,'' he declared with a cheeky smile.

If Alec touched Magnus' back with his fingertips, he was now touching him with full hands. He let him kiss, nibble and drop bites, before grabbing his face so that he could take care of his lips instead of his torso. Magnus couldn't suppress a chuckle and rubbed his hips against him. Alec did the same and drew his lips outline with his tongue. Then, he sent down his hands and fiddled Magnus' pajama bottom, making him shuddered and grabbed his tongue with his teeth.

Alec didn't know if it was him or Magnus, but he ended up on his back with him on top. Both of them took a deep breath at the same time when their crotches were this close. They were both in the same state, reassuring Alec who couldn't restrain a movement upwards. Magnus opened his eyes and captured his lips in a deep kiss, less controlled, making them out of breath and ask for more.

They were rubbing together, Alec's hands landed on Magnus' hips to increase the pressure of his movements. The latter grunted informing him that it wasn't enough and Alec understood his frustration perfectly. He also wanted more but he didn't know what exactly, without going all the way.

Magnus slipped an arm under his neck to deepen their kisses and the other under his bottom to raise his pelvis and better relieve their throbbing pain. Alec wrapped a leg around one of Magnus' and slid his hands down. He stifled the groan of the latter with a lick.

''Either we stop it here and swear to not touch each other for the rest of the night or we can continue,'' Magnus breathed removing the hair strands on Alec's forehead.

The latter still had his hands on his buttocks and had no desire to remove them. He bit his lip that Magnus hastened to kiss.

''And how do we continue ?'' he managed to murmur.

''By removing our bottoms,'' Magnus clarified before sliding again a hand under his pants.

Alec quivered, it seemed like a good idea but he was afraid to not be resistant enough.

''It'll be embarrassing,'' he finally whispered.

Magnus chuckled against his neck. ''You'll like it.''

He rolled his hips, making Alec sigh.

''Is that your revenge ?''

''More like a bonus,'' Magnus smirked.

''And in what honor ?''Alec asked nibbling his chin.

''Because I'm worth it and it'll feel good.''

''Okay.''

Magnus' smile widened. ''I can finally see the famous tattoo.''

Alec chuckled. ''When you have finally seen the tattoo that you were so desperate to see, you're going to ask me to put back on my pants.''

Under the eyes of a stunned Alec, Magnus undressed without any shame and almost nonchalantly. Alec envied his confidence, at the same time, Magnus could be confident with his body that he studied with curiosity and slight greed. He finally looked away, feeling slightly ashamed.

Magnus had felt his confusion as he leaned over him and kissed his belly. ''There's no shame in this, do you need my help ?''

He put his hands on his hips and lowered his pants. Alec let out a strangled sound and grabbed his wrists.

''Wait.''

Eyes focused on his hipbone and the tip of the sticking tattoo, Magnus looked up reluctantly. They stared at each other for a long time and Alec took a deep breath. He knew he was ridiculous but he was afraid to pull his pants down. If Magnus was able to strip, he could too. The latter touched his hips more insistently.

''What are you afraid of ?''

''It's what I'm asking myself.''

Magnus gave him a last look and leaned on his stomach where he slid his tongue along the edge of his pants. Alec couldn't suppress a smile when Magnus' hair tickled his belly.

''Okay, you can undress me now,'' he whispered in a strangled voice.

Magnus made a noise of satisfaction and pulled. Alec closed his eyes and winced when he felt less covered. He wasn't comfortable and wanted to disappear. His wince deepened when he felt a warm and damp sensation on his hip and opened his eyes. Magnus was kissing his tattoo.

''You who wanted to see it so much... not too disappointed ?''

Surprisingly, his voice was calm and even slightly amused.

''You mean your tattoo ?'' Magnus joked hoarsely with a cheeky smile.

Alec shuddered and looked away, why did he accept ? Because it was pleasant although embarrassing. He jumped when Magnus' mouth moved in a trail of kisses to his erect member. He was not really ready for this.

''Hum...Magnus, do you mind if you removed your head from there ?'' he managed to ask with a voice sharper than usual.

But Magnus didn't remove his head from there and Alec gasped when he felt his tongue on his manhood. He refrained from swearing by biting his lips. He couldn't think at all, all his attention focused on what Magnus was doing with his mouth. The sensations were addictive and overwhelming, waves of pleasure breaking across his body. He couldn't return the favor, maybe it would be better to focus on the technique and not the pleasure it gave him.

Alec wouldn't last at all if Magnus continued to lead his tongue as he did. He needed to study a little more.

''What about you ?'' he breathed.

As if Magnus could speak. _Well done Alec,_ he congratulated himself.

This freed his mouth and Alec took the opportunity to draw him above, cupping his face too sharply. Magnus looked at him with a slight frown.

''You don't like it ?'' he asked anxiously, placing his arms on either side of his head.

Alec opened his mouth but no sound came out, an awful redness was spreading over his face. Magnus kissed his neck, Alec put his hands on his waist and nestled his head into his neck to hide his embarrassment.

''Let's leave that for later, for when you'll take your revenge,'' he whispered.

''What can I do to you then ?'' Magnus whispered back against his ear, before nipping his earlobe and giving him a hip roll that made him shiver.

Alec took a deep breath and moved his hips upward.

''This, and it's more than okay,'' he said.

Alec captured his mouth and brushed his lips with his tongue. Magnus smiled and grabbed their erections with one hand, making both of them gasped. His hand was rubbing them together and stroking insistently.

Alec stifled a groan against Magnus' golden skin, which encouraged the latter to squeeze harder and to move his hand faster while consistently rolling his hips against his. Their breath and heartbeats quickened and their bodies became hotter. He tentatively slipped his hand between their bodies, making shuddered Magnus who clearly didn't expect this.

''Sorry,'' he apologized in a breath against his mouth.

Magnus bit his chin and took his hand that he put on the object of their concerns. Alec imitated the gestures he had given him earlier and felt some satisfaction to see Magnus shutting his eyes.

The rest was pretty confusing, Alec seemed to have his head in the clouds and a veil provided by the pleasure obscured his eyesight. Until the head of Magnus reappeared in his field of vision and kissed him passionately. He was just telling himself that finally he would survive this much embarrassment and being naked, but that was before Magnus wiped the evidence of their pleasure off his belly and his own casually before getting out of the room naked like nothing ever happened.

Alec looked at his naked figure and took a deep breath, he needed to get used to it, furthermore, Magnus was handsome. He just had to tame nudity and what ensued when two people were naked in the same bed, no big deal.

 

It was daylight, Alec frowned and closed his eyes. He turned on his stomach, buried his head under the pillow and fell asleep again. He was awakened by a purring close by and felt a fluffy ball curl against his shoulder. It was not the only sensation he felt. A hand stroked, up and down, from his side to his thigh and a body pressed against him before dropping a long kiss on his other shoulder. Alec smiled, his shoulders were warm now because he had to admit that he didn't feel very covered. As if he was butt naked but he was too tired to worry about it and fell asleep again.

This time, he was on his back, Magnus pressed against him, one arm across his torso and a leg across his. The contrast between their skin color was even more striking. Alec stroked Magnus' arm with his fingertips and kissed his shoulder as lightly as possible. The sheets had completely deserted the bed, and Alec snuggled more against Magnus before closing his eyes.

And he opened them suddenly, what time was it ? Wincing, he removed himself as gently as possible from the bed, taking care to not wake Magnus up. He took one of the pajama bottoms, not knowing which one was really his. Magnus was not working today, he could afford to sleep more.

He was two hours late, Alec had never been late for Idris. There were many times when he had almost been late but almost... He ran into the bathroom where his clothes had been left the night before, and saw with relief that he had hickeys all over his body but not on the neck. He put on his jacket despite the complaints of Chairman Meow who was following him and left the room in haste.

Magnus really needed an alarm clock.

 

Alec arrived breathless and sweaty to Idris and saw with dismay that he had forgotten his phone at Magnus' place. That explained the presence of his father next to the photocopier. Seeing him this early made Alec want to go home.

''You're late.''

''I know,'' he whispered, breathless. ''I'm sorry, I forgot to set my alarm clock.''

It was not as if the world would stop spinning if there was nobody at the photocopier. Robert stared at him, frowning slightly.

''You won't have a second time,'' he finally said. '' Follow me, trainees will arrive and your post needs to remain vacant for them. ''

''Where will I work ?''

''If I remember correctly you liked accounting.''

Alec winced, he clearly preferred the photocopier, but he was not going to complain.

''What did I do ?'' he muttered.

Robert raised his eyebrows. ''Nothing Alexander, why ? You don't have a clear conscience ?''

His son looked at him with astonishment and skepticism. It was Robert, he never did anything without a purpose behind every move.

''I'm sure you spent the evening reading with Max and you didn't see the time fly,'' his father smirked. ''Don't tire him too much, he has school Monday and you, you have to work.''

Alec looked at his father as if it was the first time he saw him, something was definitely wrong.

*

Figures danced under his closed eyelids, Alec really hated accounting and he was missing the photocopier. He longingly looked at the intern who was now occupying his former position. He was eager to go home and eat, but he had to get his phone at Magnus' place.

He quickly went out of Idris and walked to the nearest subway station. His father had strongly suggested he come to a business dinner that he had managed to decline by claiming he had some accounting to do.

He freaked out when arms wrapped around him, immobilizing him there.

''Boo !'' said Magnus' amused voice against his ear.

''I'm terrified,'' Alec retorted calmly as possible despite his heart madly pounding.

Magnus gave him a big smile and kissed him. Alec was the one who deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around Magnus' waist. The latter cupped his face and stroked his cheekbone.

''You forgot your phone this morning, it didn't stop buzzing that's what woke me up... did you sleep well ?'' he asked with a smirk.

Alec put it in his pocket, he would have to recharge it when he would get home.

''I slept too well, your mattress is much more comfortable than mine.''

Magnus smiled and stared longingly at him with small hearts in the eye. Alec suddenly thought back to his confession and what had followed. If he was embarrassed by his inexperience and the intimacy he had shared with Magnus, it was no longer the case.

''What about a restaurant ?'' he asked softly.

''Is it a date ?'' Magnus teased, looking happy.

''It wouldn't be the first time and I'm really hungry, you already have something planned ?''

Magnus grabbed his arm. ''No, let's eat I discovered a fabulous restaurant the other day.''

Alec was forced to follow him with a smile.

They ate in a small restaurant run by an Indonesian woman of a certain age. Magnus was a regular and didn't hesitate to talk to her in his native language. Alec let him order for them and she served them several specialties.

''For the boyfriend,'' she said with a strong accent and a wink by putting a dish under Alec's nose.

Magnus wiggled his eyebrows and handed him chopsticks.

''Ragnor told me that Jace had too much to drink last night with Izzy, Clary, and Simon when they went to a club.''

Alec stared up at him. ''And Max ?''

Magnus frowned. ''He's a big boy, I'm sure he can stay alone. You worry too much. Ragnor and Catarina were with them so no need to worry. ''

Alec winced and noted in a corner of his head to call Max as soon as his phone was charged. Magnus sighed when he saw his worried face.

''Even if your father would have disturbed them, they're adults, they're no longer babies.''

He was even sure that Robert was the cause, he had to call them back to make sure they were doing fine. Alec admitted he was a little overprotective, Max had joked once that he would have done a much better job as a father than Robert. It had been strangely flattering and frightening.

''Alexander,'' Magnus sighed. ''I'm more interesting than your chopsticks.''

Alec looked up and smiled.

''Next time you come to my place, use your keys and bring some of your stuff, '' Magnus dropped nonchalantly watching him from the corner of the eye.

''I'll bring an alarm clock then.''

''And don't forget to stay after,'' Magnus teased back.

''Right, you still have a revenge to carry out.''

''Yes, and I can tell you that the matter is productive,'' he said with a mischievous smile. ''I had the right to a taste last night.''

Alec was struggling to hold his gaze without blushing.

''Besides, I wanted to ask you...your tattoos, they have a meaning ? I noticed that the compass has your siblings' initials with yours as cardinal points.''

''The Constellations also: mine and theirs,'' Alec added quietly.

''And the others ?''

''They don't all have any special meaning,'' he grumbled.

Magnus laughed. ''Right, let's leave this conversation for our pillow talk then.''

''Alright,'' Alec agreed.

When Magnus walked him home and kissed him again and again, he realized he was no longer really closeted. He was still afraid that his father will find out, and everything revolved around him and the fear that it inspired in him. If Robert hadn't been there or if he hadn't been homophobic, things would have been very different.

Magnus kissed him one last time before joining friends, Alec hastily entered in his apartment to plug in his phone. He sat on the floor until it came back to life and called Max.

''Magnus monopolizes so much of your attention that you don't care about calling me back ?'' joked his little brother.

''No I just forgot my phone this morning, at his place.''

''Oh, and sleep well ?''

''Max.''

''Why didn't you tell me ? I find Magnus cool and you suit each other well, did you think that I'd react badly ?''

''No, of course not,'' he protested weakly.

''You don't tell us anything Alec... we're here and we want to know about your love life,'' he grumbled.

Alec rolled his eyes. ''You're still alive.''

Max huffed. ''We'll speak about it another time then, when you'll be ready. Yes, but that's because Clary came with Simon. I like him, he's funny and I think he's much better than all those rednecks Izzy went out with. So, it's pizzas at will.''

''Simon and Izzy are together ?''

''Apparently, they kissed when they were in the club and I saw them when they returned, they went directly to her room. I thought it was not serious and that it would be for one night but no, this morning they were almost grafted to each other and right now too.''

Alec felt weird hearing little brother speaking so easily about this kind of things. Magnus was right, he still considered him a baby.

''I'm surprised.''

''Me too, and do as if I haven't told you anything. Izzy will do as you did with her by telling you nothing at all, it's very childish. And I know you worry about everything that's why I'm relaying this to you because, as always, you'll be the last one to know.''

''Thanks, Max.''

''I'd rather be at your apartment than here,'' Max whined. ''At least, there are books and you leave me alone. Izzy is always teasing me about Ellie, Jace is annoying, there're only Clary and Simon that peaked my interest and it won't last.''

''Next weekend.''

Alec was relieved, he had been afraid that Max would ask many questions as usual about his secretiveness or even about Lydia but no. Even Magnus had not insisted. He then realized it was because everyone trusted him. He took a deep breath and tried to loosen the noose that was beginning to suffocate him.

He heard a loud noise and Max sighed.

''Jace and Izzy are fighting for the last slice of pizza, good night, I'll see if there's still something to eat.''

''How are they ? I mean after Robert ?''

''How are you, you ?''

''As usual, I guess.''

''Tell yourself that to them, it made them the effect of a particular acid lemon in the mouth gone fast. Clary is the same. Nobody talks about it. And honestly, between you and me, they're not the ones that need to be pitied.''

''What do you mean ?''

''You know what I mean,'' said Max before hanging up.

*

''You can't come to my party ?'' Magnus asked again, handing him a homemade fruit juice. ''Why ?''

Alec winced, he had to spend the evening with Lydia and he couldn't cancel.

''Family stuff.''

Magnus pursed lips. ''And if Jace and Izzy are too drunk ? And if I'm drunk ?''

Alec gave him a bemused look. ''You said yourself that they were big enough and that I was overprotective. You too your big enough, and it wouldn't be the first time I wasn't here,'' he added, referring to their past disputes.

Magnus pursed his lips. ''Come when it's all over, if you're too tired you can go straight in my room.''

''With all that noise ?''

''I'll throw them all out for you.''

''Magnus.''

''It's my party, I do what I want,'' he protested.

''I'll let you know.''

Magnus smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

*

Alec joined Lydia in a small cafe, he found her sitting at a table, her lessons papers scattered everywhere, she was intensely concentrated highlighting the words in all colors.

''You prefer yellow ?''

Lydia jumped and looked up before smiling brightly at him.

''The yellow one works better, I took the liberty of ordering coffee.''

''Thank you,'' he said sitting down. ''You had a good week ?''

Alec has improved so much, socially, thanks to Lydia who answered with a heavy sigh.

''Tell me about it, you're my only way out of the week.''

Alec smiled and helped her pick up her belongings.

''My father acted up, you should have seen the way he looked at Jace's girlfriend.''

Lydia sipped her coffee. ''Clary ? The one who studies art ?'' she asked, shaking her head. ''We're in the 21st century... and he doesn't see that she's good for him ?''

''He doesn't see much,'' Alec confessed.

''And your sister ?''

Lydia loved his siblings and their relationship, she was an only child and always had wanted a brother or a sister.

''She's okay.''

''And you ?''

''Me too,'' he said with a wan smile.

Lydia narrowed her eyes and took out her phone. ''What about a movie tonight ?''

''Why not.''

''I think there's a spy movie, we should watch that and make the guy who's watching us understand that he's burnt,'' she whispered fiercely. '' And I swear I'm not more paranoid than you,'' she added.

Alec snorted and finished his cup.

They nearly fall asleep as the movie was obviously a turnip. Lydia kept pointing out inconsistencies.

''Sorry, I'm not too good at choosing movies.''

''Me neither, Max is the only one to choose for us.''

''I'm ten years older and he certainly has better taste than me.''

Alec chuckled. ''It'll stay between you and me.''

Lydia sighed and raised her arm to stop a taxi. ''It was nice to see you, Alec, until next time'' she cheerfully said.

''Good night, no more caffeine and don't forget to sleep.''

She waved at him and got into the taxi while yawning. Alec couldn't restrain a soft smile.

*

Getting out from the elevator, Alec saw that the party was still in full swing and Izzy was laying down in the hallway and was laughing all by herself. He rushed over her.

''Alec ?'' she said, clinging to his neck. ''Alec,'' she repeated.

''Yeah it's me,'' he said, stroking her hair.

''Would you have told me if I dance poorly ?''

Alec looked at her with a frown. ''Why are you asking ?''

She shrugged and squeezed him harder.

''Why are you not with the others ? ''

''I was waiting for you, like you said you'd come to Magnus...''

Alec helped her up and continued to keep her firmly so she doesn't waver on her high heels.

''You're totally drunk, come here you need to drink.''

''Let's drink !'' she giggled.

''Water, you need water,'' he chastised

''It's a party Alec, nobody drinks water !''

Alec rolled his eyes and rang the bell. Clary was the one who opened the door.

''Need help?'' she asked, seeing Izzy who couldn't stand straight.

''Tell me that Jace is fine.''

''Magnus took care of him, he prevented him from fighting and almost pushed his head into the toilet to resume his spirits.''

They looked at each other wearily.

''It seems that your father knows how to make an impression,'' she finally muttered.

Alec winced. ''Don't worry, he's always been like this.'' And he stopped when he realized that it was not the right thing to say.

''Is it because of him that you didn't want to be with Magnus?'' she asked softly.

It was the first time they were talking about the famous time she witnessed one of their disputes.

''More or less,'' he confessed.

Clary stared at him in silence and smiled with embarrassment when she realized she was blocking his way. They exchanged a smile and Alec took Izzy's arm and led her into the kitchen.

Chairman Meow was in the sink drinking water at the tap. Alec smiled and gently stroked him. His sister wasn't as delicate and fell on him, screaming: ''Kitty!''

''He left.''

''You were scary,'' Alec sighed and handed her a glass of water.

Izzy believed it was vodka and emptied her glass in one gulp before glaring at him.

''Traitor,'' she grumbled, sitting down.

Alec smiled and went looking for Jace. It was not difficult to find him, Magnus was literally glaring at him, producing an aura of disdain around them.

''What did he do?'' he asked Magnus who turned to him with relief.

Alec kissed his temple and Magnus hugged him, briskly rubbing his cheek against his.

''Magnus?''

''Hmm?''

''What are you doing?''

''Glitter,'' he simply answered.

Alec looked up at the ceiling and touched his cheek, a thin particle of glitter covered his fingers. He looked up at Magnus who was looking at him with mischief.

''It suits you, I regret not having this idea before.''

Jace took the opportunity to jump on Alec and gave him a big hug, mtaking he latter patted his back.

''Come here, Izzy is waiting for you,'' he wearily murmured.

 

Alec looked at Simon with astonishment, Max was right, him and Izzy really seemed to be together. His sister was huddled in his arms and the glasses boy seemed slightly soberer. Alec really didn't see that coming.

He picked up a ripped cushion while Ragnor straightened the couch.

''My party was a success!'' Magnus exclaimed, hands on hips.

Jace and Izzy were the only ones who nodded.

''It depends for whom,'' grumbled Ragnor, picking up feathers.

''Where's Clary?'' Catarina asked sweeping the floor.

''She had to go,'' Jace whined while lying on the floor in a fetal position.

''Get on the sofa Jace,'' Alec murmured.

Jace opened one eye and held out his arms, with a sigh, Alec pulled him up and guided him to the couch.

''I'm tired, let's sleep'' Magnus said while grabbing Alec's arm.

''We still have to clean,'' he protested.

Catarina dropped the broom. ''Good night everyone, I'm exhausted, I'll let you know about my friendly meal.''

Ragnor followed her, massaging his own shoulders. ''Be good,'' he growled.

''I'm always good'' Magnus teased.

Alec sighed and went to look for a blanket for Jace who grunted something incomprehensible in his sleep. Magnus, meanwhile, carried in a mattress for Izzy that Simon struggled to swell.

''Don't tell me you're asthmatic,'' he joked half serious.

''Wait and see.''

''You can sleep on it too, there 's room for both of you.''

''What about Alec... ? Right, you have a bed, a bed enough for you two.''

''It's not the first time that Alec and I have shared the same bed.''

Simon's mouth formed an 'O'.

''I don't want the details, maybe Izzy does so keep that in mind for another time.''

Magnus smirked. ''Gladly and please, you're sober enough to not sing your papaya song.''

''I thought you liked it.''

''When I'm wasted.''

''Me too but I only sing it when I'm wasted, I don't know why.''

''I don't want to know,'' Magnus said with a grin.

 

''Glitter really suits you,'' Magnus murmured against his ear.

Alec closed his eyes, he knew he had forgotten something.

''Chairman Meow !'' they heard Simon grumble.

''So Izzy and him?''

''Seems so.''

''It's so unlikely.''

''We are too,'' muttered Alec making Magnus sighed.

''How was the family stuff?''

Alec blinked and shrugged.

''It's not an answer.''

''Sleep Magnus.''

The latter moved closer and kissed him in the corner of the mouth. ''Good night.''

Alec kissed him back and snuggled into his embrace.

*

Little by little, Alec left some of his belongings at Magnus' place, making him extremely happy. But, there were differences in their living ways.

''An alarm clock is that important?'' asked Magnus one morning.

''I understand that you don't care about being late or not but I do.''

Alec felt it would be an element of discord between them.

Magnus crossed his arms. ''I like unpredictability, I can't do anything about it.''

''I can't wake up without an alarm, I need one.''

Cohabitation would be difficult, he noticed seeing Magnus' eyes narrowed.

''Then I won't sleep here anymore in this case if it means I must be late, the problem is solved.''

Magnus pursed his lips.

''And how do you do without it ?'' Alec added.

Magnus shrugged and gave in. If he had to wake up early and on time, he would be entitled to a nice reward added to his revenge. Alec seriously started to worry.

*

''You have no choice,'' Robert meticulously said while reading the newspaper.

Alec, slightly anxious, watched his father with suspicion.

''Since when is my presence is essential for a business lunch?''

''From now on.''

''When ?''

''Tonight.''

Alec winced, he had planned something with Magnus. He had to cancel it again.

''Where ?''

''At the Palace, and I don't know if you already planned something but cancel.''

And Alec went back to his accounts with a worn out look. Magnus wouldn't be happy at all.

And indeed, he was not.

''This is the third time this week.''

''I know.''

He distinctly heard his annoyed sigh. ''Everything's fine?''

''Yes.''

''It's not because of this stupid alarm clock story ?''

''Magnus,'' sighed Alec. ''You're the one who made the alarm clock story stupid.''

He heard a laugh. ''What about this weekend ?''

''There's Max, it's been too long since we spend a weekend together.''

''Same for us...'' Magnus muttered. ''Anyway, I don't make the weight so come when you want or when you feel like it.''

He hung up and Alec cursed.

*

Alec should have suspected from the beginning that his father's inertia concerning the contract and his so-called concern were hiding something worrying. Lydia seemed as surprised as him to see him in the restaurant. _Here is the famous business meal,_ he bitterly thought.

Maryse had put a beautiful glittering dress as if to give luster to her melancholy face. Alec had never seen her so sad before.

''Are you okay ?'' he asked.

''As much as your father,'' she answered dryly, sitting down.

He found himself between his parents and in front of Lydia. They were staring at each other and wore the same bewilderment expression. Neither of them had anticipated that.

''You're a very nice young man, Lydia finds you very charming,'' said Mrs. Branwell.

Alec didn't react, except when Robert gave him a nudge.

''We're really here for a business meal ?''

Anyone over forty years old giggled.

''In a way,'' said Robert rotating the wine in the bottom of his glass.

''Engagement leads to a contract,'' Mr. Branwell joked.

Lydia and her father had the same smile but Alec was almost frightened by his.

''Engagement is a promise, nothing more,'' Lydia intervened. ''And if you think it's funny it means you don't understand life.''

''No wonder your marriages don't seem successful,'' Alec added for both of the couples.

He knew he had screwed up seriously when he felt his parents' gaze on him. His mother emptied her glass of wine in one go and Lydia gave him a big smile.

''Marriage is a contract,'' insisted Robert watching Lydia with amusement. ''One more to your collection,'' he whispered to Alec.

''It won't fit into the same category and even less on the same legal level,'' Maryse said dryly. ''You're starting to lack imagination.''

''Contracts expire, are canceled, terminated or resolved, '' Lydia stated.

Robert gritted his teeth and Alec gave her a look of gratitude for having put his father in this state.

The dinner was a fiasco and their so-called engagement deferred to their delight.

''I thought you liked her,'' Maryse claimed with a frown.

''You like her, I do but not in the same way,'' grumbled Alec.

''She talks too much, believe it or not, but keep in mind that you're engaged to the Branwell daughter. And stop seeing her in the same miserable cafes, you're better than that,'' Robert hissed.

''How do you know ?'' he asked, wondering if Lydia was right since the beginning.

If someone was following them, it would explain a lot of things but not only for him and Lydia. He suddenly thought about the number of times he had been affectionate with Magnus in the street.

''I know many things, as for Izzy and this glasses boy.''

''He's fine and I thought you'd leave them alone as you said.''

''I don't bother them, I'm just checking on them. Respect the contract and I'll do the same, you don't have to be scared.''

*

Lying in his bed, Alec really began to think that something was wrong and wondered if Max had ever thought or even searched in their mother's stuff. Otherwise, why would Robert know everything about everyone except the things concerning him and Magnus ?

His father wasn't someone who would remain denial with concrete evidence and Alec would have been screwed for a long time already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again cazamaree ! :)
> 
> Next chapter in three weeks but still a Monday, I literally have one week to learn everything for my exams so...yes shame on me I know BUT It will be worth the wait ! ;) 
> 
> So next chapter: the truth will always win out (in two parts + more chapters ) ! Thrills will be guaranteed ! ;)


	11. The truth will...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the wait, your kudos and sweet comments ! Here we go: the truth will always win out (part 1)! :)

Magnus was still sulking, making Alec sigh as he put back his phone into his vest's pocket. He had to consider himself engaged,  _engaged_. Lydia and himself hadn't seen it coming, they should have but they became too good friends for that. They had dropped their guard.

Alec looked at his father wiping his mouth with a corner of his napkin.

''I feel that you're stuck in your illusions. And more and more. You haven't forgotten our contract, have you, Alexander? It's surprising that I have to remind you again and again of your obligations.''

Alec silently chewed his piece of meat.

''Lydia must accept this engagement, did you forget ? Otherwise, I take it as if the mission to convince her wasn't convincing and therefore void, you know what I mean ?''

''Yes.''

''You must like each other now, no?''

No, he pondered to himself. We're just friends and if we're seeing each other it's because we don't have the choice.

''If she likes you and if you're convincing enough, she will accept you despite your mediocrity. Lydia is a good girl even though she was a little surly last time...I hope she doesn't suspect that you're gay.''

''She doesn't know.''

''Good, she's pretty it'll be easy with her.''

Alec wanted to spit the piece of meat he had put in his mouth.

Robert was right. Alec was deluding himself under illusions, he just had to obey him it was not so complicated. And yet, he felt completely trapped without any exit. The so-called engagement with Lydia had to succeed, no matter their friendship and what they wanted.

It was as if he no longer could reconcile Magnus and Lydia in his life.

*

''My parents put pressure on me,'' Lydia confessed softly.

''My father too.''

''I was thinking about an anti-engagement plan, but it went down the drain. Let's pretend to accept,'' said Lydia by ordering a whole bottle of vodka. ''You and I know it doesn't mean anything anyway.''

''This time, we could find a solution and they’ll leave us alone,'' nodded Alec.

Lydia stared at him. ''I hope to find one that doesn't force me to run away, to give up my privileges or be disinherited.''

Alec blinked. ''What if you find someone else?''

''I tried, it didn't work. My parents said I just had to break up with my imaginary boyfriend,'' she stirred in her chair and gave him a piercing look. ''Your parents place a high value on contracts.''

''Yes,'' he calmly said.

Lydia's gaze was unreadable. ''We don't choose our parents unfortunately but you can count on me Alec, I'll get us out of this shitty situation.''

With these words, she emptied her glass in one gulp.

*

When he woke up the next morning, he didn't know how he managed to get home safe and sound. He recognized his ceiling in the entrance despite painful blows drumming in his head, he managed to recover a bit despite his being dizzy. Putting his hand to his head, he realized that he had his left ring-finger stuck in Magnus key-ring. He shook it and winced at the sound of their tinkling. It took him time to get his finger unstuck, wondering what happened last night for him to do it. His phone was lying not far from him, he just had to reach it out and grabbed it. His body, not used to sleep directly on the floor throbbed a little.

Alec gasped when he saw the number of times Magnus had tried to reach him. Going in the list of his calls, he saw that Magnus had tried to contact him so many times was because he had himself called more than 20 times in a short period after writing a nonsensical disastrous text.

 _Great,_ he thought bitterly. He was part of these people who once drunk were harassing their contacts. Izzy had already experienced it and didn't hesitate to criticize this kind of conduct.

Groaning, he went to take a shower.

*

Leaving the subway, he sent a message to Magnus apologizing for the harassment. The latter called him immediately.

''I was worried, it was so unlike you… What happened ?''

_Engagement ?_

''Alcohol.''

He clearly heard Magnus sigh.

''It must have been worse than last time.''

It was way worse , he thought, with the key accident and his hand, and his night spent on his entrance's floor.

''Still sulking ?'' he asked in an amused voice.

Magnus huffed. ''I don't.''

''Not anymore,'' murmured Alec. ''Max is coming tonight.''

''So we won't see each other this weekend?'' Magnus asked reluctantly.

''If you don't mind a pizza party and bickering, you're welcome.''

He could imagine Magnus' smile, he even wondered why he hadn't thought about it before.

''See you tonight,'' Magnus said cheerfully before hanging up.

Alec put his phone away, smiling stupidly.

*

Magnus was already waiting in front of his building, a big smile on his lips. Alec suddenly walked faster and almost jumped on him with relief, and hastily pressed his lips on his.

Magnus smiled. ''I'd like to be welcomed like this more often,'' he whispered, taking his face in his hands and kissing him lengthily.

Alec hugged him and kissed him softly and meticulously as if he didn't want to miss one centimeter of his mouth. Magnus' hands went down on his hips and pulled him closer against him to further their embrace.

It had been a few days since they saw each other and Alec had to admit that he missed Magnus. And it seemed mutual. They finally separated reluctantly and entered the building.

''Max isn't here yet? '' asked Magnus, once in front his apartment's door.

Alec shook his head and opened it in a key rattling. Magnus literally pushed him inside and fell upon him with a predatory smile.

''Okay, we have a little time for us then.''

Alec had no objection and kissed his neck.

They stood in the entrance and were kissing like two schoolboys. At least, initially. Alec found himself back against the wall, the body of Magnus glued to his. They were furiously kissing, touching with their lips and tongue all that could be kissed and which weren't cluttered with clothes. Their hands were also moving actively seeking to caress the other as much as possible through the tissues between them.

Magnus slipped a leg between his, pressing deliciously in the right place and pressed up harder against his hips. Alec shivered and didn't have to wait long before losing his jacket and half of his shirt, his arms still being in the sleeves. He totally agreed with Magnus, their clothes were too much. He did the same with Magnus' and kissed his bare shoulder. The latter raised his head and captured his lips with avidity.

Alec brought down his hand along his torso, moved lower and touched his manhood that he gently grasped through Magnus' night blue pants. It made him shiver and opened his astonishing eyes where there shone a glimmer of desire and challenge. Magnus did the same in daring more. He undid Alec's belt and pulled it with a snap before dropping it on the floor, the arm outstretched. It didn't take him long to unbutton and unzipped his pants, and slid a requesting hand into his underwear.

Alec couldn't suppress a groan and threw his head back, Magnus rushed on his neck that he hastened to nibble, suck, and lick.

And groaned. ''Not the neck, '' he remembered while going down.

Alec smiled and kissed his hair. I won't last , he thought with Magnus' hips movements and hand. His groin throbbed and there were still too many clothes between them. He unbuttoned Magnus pants in order to touch him better and grabbed his hard member with a smile that didn't escape Magnus who hastened to bite his shoulder. The pressure of his leg against his crotch grew stronger and Alec stifled a groan against his neck.

He began to feel an ache in his jaw and the throbbing pain in his groin was not fading away despite their friction against each other. He wanted more and Magnus realized it by touching his backside that he began to knead while crushing him against him.

Alec sighed contentedly and his eyes widened when he saw the front door open. Never he would have thought that one of his siblings would surprise him in this kind of situation. It had happened to him when he had seen Jace and one of his conquests, and the same thing for Izzy when she decided one day that the sofa would be a good playground when Alec went home early from the library.

Max didn't hide his surprise, Alec had never seen his brother so surprised. An embarrassed and incredulous smile appeared on his little brother's face. Magnus didn't realize anything and continued to show his affection. He finally lifts his head as Alec was no longer kissing him and followed his gaze.

''I should have knocked, '' Max apologized sheepishly.

Magnus raised an eyebrow, and not embarrassed at all, even gave him a big smile.

''Hi, you're more early that I expected ! Do you mind if...,'' he trailed off with a suggestive smile.

''I can wait outside,'' Max hastened to say with a nod.

He put his bag against the wall, went out and firmly shut the door. Alec pressed his forehead against Magnus' shoulder and took a deep breath. He had to be as red as a lobster and was unable to make a coherent thought. Magnus pressed himself against him, ready to resume where they stopped.

Alec looked up. ''We can't go on,'' he protested, mortified even if they were still able to carry on.

Magnus straightened and frowned, before staring with amusement at his scarlet cheeks that he affectionately stroked.

''And why not?''

''Max saw us and he's waiting outside.''

Magnus opened his mouth looking upset and slowly calmed down, his reason gradually taking over his sexual impulses.

''Right,'' he said. ''He'll still have to wait until we calm down,'' he whispered, resting his chin on his shoulder.

Alec leaned his head against the wall and stroked his hair absently.

''Magnus? Could you take your leg away, it doesn't help me...''

''Oh,'' realized the latter and removed it.

Alec smiled and kissed his temple. Magnus kissed his shoulder and traced out his Sun and Moon tattoo with his nose.

''We'll continue later,'' Alec promised in his ear.

Magnus raised his head and pressed his forehead against his. ''I'll make you keep this promise and don't forget my revenge and all the small benefits I am entitled.''

''I haven't forgotten,'' murmured Alec against his lips.

 

He didn't dare to look at Max right in the eye and took refuge in the kitchen. Magnus wasn't embarrassed and was chatting cheerfully with his little brother.

''Alec,'' sighed Max while readjusting his glasses when he joined them on the sofa. ''I'll get over it and I'll forget what I saw.''

Magnus smiled and approached him. ''Your cheeks are burning up I'm sure we could cook eggs on them. ''

Alec cleared his throat and looked away.

''Don't say anything to Izzy,'' he growled to Max who immediately looked away.

''How long have you been together?''

Alec frowned, he didn't know at all. Magnus gave him an amused look.

''Almost six months, do you want me to tell you the whole story?''

Max put his book away, ready to hear everything.

''Magnus,'' said Alec, throwing him a weary look.

The latter raised his eyebrows innocently and took a deep breath.

''We weren't close from the beginning,'' Alec stated.

''Really?''

''No.''

''Let's say I took an interest in him later and I'm the chosen one to tell the whole story, Alexander.''

Alec sighed, took his phone and ordered their pizzas.

He was afraid that Magnus would get bored with them, but he didn't show it if he did. Alec showed him his room while Max was looking for a movie to watch on his laptop.

 

Magnus didn't hide his surprise at the sight of his single bed and almost nonexistent decorations in his room.

''There're many more books than last time and no wonder you love to spread yourself in my bed,'' he teased with a smirk. ''Single beds have a certain charm,'' he added while pulling him by his arm.

Alec rolled his eyes and turned his attention away from the bed taking gently his face in his hands and wiped his eyeliner which wasn't as sharp as before their make-out session.

''So caring,'' murmured Magnus, looking at him with affection.

Alec smiled and kissed his chin. Magnus hummed with satisfaction and hugged him. The situation would be again out of control as there were probably too many unfulfilled desires between them.

This time, Max knocked on the door.

''Hey lovers, I found a movie and tell me if I bother you.''

Magnus smirked. ''Not at all.''

He looked at Alec with his eyes filled with small hearts and kissed his nose. Alec grabbed him by his waist, kissed the sensitive hollow below his ear, making him narrow his eyes and casually walked away.

 

''You chose a horror movie?'' Alec asked as calmly as possible.

Max nodded and put the pizza boxes on the coffee table, next to the laptop. Alec didn't like much horror movies, he could watch them if he wasn't alone and if it wasn't too scary. Magnus read the synopsis of the film with curiosity.

''Looks good.''

Alec sank into the couch right from the beginning, fearing the first seconds. Magnus had this smirk hanging on his lips while watching the movie. At first, Alec thought it was because of the frightening scenes close to the ridiculous sometimes, whereas he was himself the cause.

''If you were a turtle you'd already have hidden in your shell,'' Magnus whispered in his ear trying to suppress a chuckle.

Alec was strangely calmer when Magnus pressed his thigh against his and put his hand inside it, comfortably sliding his fingers underneath. He cast a glance at Max slightly embarrassed but his little brother shook his head with a big smile while chewing a piece of his pizza.

 

Magnus gave him a big smile when he put on his velvet vest and Alec's one was probably as stupid as his.

''It wasn't that scary''

Alec frowned at the mocking tone of the sentence. Magnus chuckled and leaned in to kiss the space between his eyebrows.

''You've enjoyed it anyway,'' retorted Alec thinking back to Magnus' wandering hands during the movie.

Magnus grinned and placed a light kiss on his lips. His smile widened when Alec kissed him back for more.

''Good night,'' murmured Alec.

Magnus caressed his cheek. ''I'd sleep better if you were with me and you know it.''

Alec stared at him in silence, seeing that smile tinged with tenderness and sadness on the face of Magnus who moved forward to kiss him one last time.

''Good night Alexander,'' he whispered against his lips. ''See you, Max !''

''Come back when you want !'' Max said with enthusiasm.

 *

Alec wiped the water he had just spilled distracted as he was. He knew that Magnus wanted them to move in together but Alec didn't feel ready. He thought it was too soon. Apart from the little incident of the alarm clock, Magnus and he got along well during the few times Alec had slept with him in the same bed. He had thought that leaving some of his stuff would have been enough but Magnus wanted more. As in bed.

Magnus was patient, very patient and Alec had grown accustomed to a few practices but not to all of them. He still had trouble with blowjobs, nudity and the idea of going until the end with Magnus began to really thread his mind. But one thing was putting a brake on his impulses: his inexperience. He knew more or less how it would happen, that Magnus would take the lead and be dominant, but he didn't know what position or what to do when it'll happen. He knew that ideally in a couple was to give and receive. Alas, Magnus gave much more than he received.

Not yet, at least, Alec was still initiated into the pleasures of the flesh.

He took his glass of water and went to his room, passing next to Max, who was lying down on the sofa.

''He loves you very much.''

Alec turned to him, slightly tilting head. ''What?''

''Magnus really likes you,'' Max repeated coiling in his blanket.

''What did he say?'' he asked curiously.

''Well believe it or not but while you were ordering our pizzas, your dear Magnus only talked about you. And he was happy to do it. He told me that you knew each other for years actually and as he wasn't able to have an opinion about you, he had decided to flirt with you but you didn't understand like not at all, so he was pushy but you rejected him. Then he told me that you had some arguments -I understand better the time he came to apologize- and his efforts finally pay off.''

Alec blinked, surprised.

''Besides, I'm sorry to have interrupted you before. ''

Alec blushed. ''Don't worry...'' he grumbled before standing up and clear his throat. ''Max? How would you define love?'' he shyly asked.

He couldn't believe that he was asking about love from his little brother, but he knew that Max wouldn't laugh at him.

''Your relationship with Magnus is love,'' he replied gravely, sitting up and looking at him curiously. ''Why?''

''Like that.''

Max raised an eyebrow. ''When I'm with Ellie, I feel good and I want her to feel good, you know? And I think of her, a little too much sometimes. And...hum...I want to touch her.''

Alec couldn't restrain a smile and did his best to hide it.

''Don't laugh, I'm serious !''

''I know.''

''And I still feel that strong emotion when I see her, I can't describe it to you I don't have enough vocabulary,'' he grumbled.

Alec nodded, leaned in and ruffled his hair. ''Thank you.''

Max grunted and disappeared under the blanket. ''Voice your feelings for him Alec, obviously you love him, so you need to tell him.''

Bewildered that his brother was this perceptive, Alec opened his mouth like a fish out of water and thought it best to go back inside his room.

He knew he had to sooner or later.

He turned in his bed, analyzing with new eyes, his relationship with Magnus. He remembered the beginning, their arguments when he had been frightened that his homosexuality was discovered and when he learned that Magnus was interested in him, his incomprehension at such an interest, his insistence, their evil words, the fact that Magnus has wanted him out of his closet, willing to accept him as he was, their affection growing with time and Magnus being patient with him.

Alec had to admit that he was different thanks to him.

He was still sometimes unconfident and still doubted certain things, but now, for example, he knew that Magnus' mocking expressions were almost natural and not very mean or very mocking, or weren't targeting him. It was his way to tease him, and he loved teasing Alec which became used to it. He couldn't help smiling, thinking of Magnus' grin.

Alec was sure about his feelings, now it was indeed Love but there was a problem: how should he tell him? It was not so complicated and yet it made him anxious.

 *

''You know,'' said Max, biting into his slice of bread. ''You could have spent the night with Magnus, it wouldn't have bothered me to stay here alone.''

''To quietly go through my stuff ?'' asked softly Alec, stirring his coffee.

Max blinked and looked up at him, lips pursed.

''You kept looking? ''

Max nodded. ''Of course, I know there's something and it doesn't matter if you don't tell me because it's a matter of time before I find it !''

''You've looked everywhere, really everywhere?'' he insisted, thinking about their mother.

''Everywhere,'' his little brother answered.

Maybe Alec had to ask his Mother himself about this.

''You know Alec, I've been thinking. It is clear that there are things which seem suspicious, and that you're not happy... But I'm glad you have Magnus. I was scared you would end up all alone so I'm glad.''

Alec blinked. ''Don't you dare go through my apartment, I'll know.''

Max smiled and continued eating his bread with satisfaction.

*

Obviously, Max took advantage of his absence to search, and in vain because Alec had taken his contracts with him. He no longer trusted his hiding places and began to lack imagination.

Lost in his thoughts, Alec didn't realize that Max was insistently looked at him.

''Alec?''

The latter blinked and sat up on the couch. ''What?''

''I'm going home.''

''Why?'' he asked in an incredulous tone.

''Mom,'' answered simply Max.

''Mom?'' Alec repeated. ''Why are you talking about mom, she agrees that you stay here on weekends, right?''

''Have you noticed a change in her lately?'' Max asked, sitting down beside him.

''Something happened ?''

Max shrugged, unable to answer.

''She looks sad,'' Alec said softly.

Max turned to him. ''I've never seen her like that, it worries me. She didn't argue with Robert either, they don't talk at all actually. ''

''They have never really communicated.''

''Something has changed,'' insisted Max. ''But I don't know what, it's weird.''

''You really want to go back?''

Max nodded.

''I'll go with you then. ''

 

In the family home, Max rushed into his room and shut himself up when Robert met them in the corridor, he seemed slightly surprised to see them his sons .

''You had a fight?''

''No,'' retorted Max. ''I don't want to see you.''

Alec couldn't help laughing and immediately stopped seeing his father's face.

''I came to see mom,'' he said, feeling the need to justify his presence.

Robert didn't give him a look and walked towards the kitchen.

When he entered his parents' room, Alec knew they were no longer sleeping together. But for how long? Max didn't say anything to him. Perhaps it had been like this for a while and seemed pretty normal for his little brother.

He knew which room his mother would occupy and headed in hoping she wouldn't be there. Every time his parents fought when he was a child, his mother took refuge in this room. So as to prove that having a huge house had an advantage over domestic argues.

Maybe Alec would have to ask Max to distract their mother just in case but then he would have explained to him why and he didn't want that.

The room was spacious and a reflection of Maryse: sober, bright and with this perfume Alec knew since childhood. He didn't know where to start his search and opened the drawer of the dresser, unconvinced of finding something. Actually, Alec didn't really know what he was looking for. He moved some jewelry, makeup and closed the drawer.

He found nothing in the closet and then looked into the nightstand. There were only medicines. Since when his mother was taking medication ? There were several boxes of Prozac, Alec took one already started to read the instructions.

Fluoxetine: a medicine against depression.

Since when Maryse Lightwood was suffering from depression ? She was sad lately but to imagine that she was depressed... Alec felt weird but mostly worried and confused.

He left the room as quietly as he had come and finally found Maryse in the kitchen. She had her back to him and had certainly not heard him coming. Watching her closely, he noticed that she was a little thinner but it was hard to tell with her clothes and it didn't strike him the last time he had seen her.

Suddenly he didn't dare to ask her for his supposed monitoring. He couldn't and he didn't dare.

''Mom?''

She turned, looking surprised. ''What are you doing here?''

''Max wanted to come back earlier.''

She nodded. ''You're staying to eat?''

''He had better things to do,'' Robert intervened before Alec had time to say anything.

Maryse shot him a deadly glare and watched her oldest son waiting for an answer.

''I have things to do,'' he confirmed even if it was not true.

She shrugged. ''Tell Max to come to the table when you leave. Good night.''

Alec gave her a last look and left, uncomfortable. He knocked on his little brother's room door and found him lying in bed, his computer on his lap. Max raised his eyebrows and took off his headset.

Taking it for an authorization, Alec came in and closed the door.

''Since when mom takes medication?''

Max frowned. ''You mean her allergies?''

''That's what she told you?''

His brother nodded.

''It's more for depression,'' Alec murmured sitting on his bed.

Max gasped. ''Depression ? But...''

Following the heavy silence of his brother, he carried on.

''Anyone would have a depression with Robert.''

''Max,'' sighed Alec.

''Mom has all the symptoms... '' muttered the latter, staring at his screen after searching.

''Tell me if there's something going wrong,'' asked Alec.

Max nodded. ''Alec ? Depression can be cured, right?''

''Normally.''

They kept quiet for a while and Alec stood up.

''And you have to go and eat, good night Max.''

 

Alec couldn't sleep. He was thinking about his mother, his siblings, and Magnus, what a way to spend a sleepless night. Alec fumbled on the floor looking for his phone. It was 3:00 am, Magnus was surely sound asleep... but nothing prevented him from inviting himself to his place. Alec had the keys after all.

He knew that once he was at Magnus', he could sleep a little bit.

 

He briefly wondered where his boldness came from when he inserted the key in the lock and opened the door as quietly as possible.

His phone in hand as a flashlight, Alec had the impression of being a burglar and hoped that Chairman Meow wouldn't attack him. He soon saw the glowing eyes that were watching on the couch and a meow sound. Alec smiled and walked straight to Magnus' bedroom, the tabby cat playing with his feet, which significantly curbed his race.

''I'll play with you tomorrow,'' he promised in a whisper while opening the bedroom's door.

Magnus was really tired or Alec was very quiet but he strongly doubted the last option. The latter was lying diagonally, his head on the right side and the rest of his body on the opposite side, half naked and the sheets tossed to the bed feet. Alec smiled when he saw the pillow in his arms and hastened to undress. He turned off his phone, put it down and felt the wet nose of Chairman Meow against his hand. He took off his shirt, his jeans, and socks, earning the purring of the cat who jumped on it, thinking he wanted to play. Alec smiled and blindly crawled into the big bed.

He sighed with pleasure when he felt Magnus' soft and warm skin under his hands and pressed his forehead against his back not without lightly kissing it before. Alec shivered and sat up, looking for the sheets which he took to cover themselves. He had no pillow, his was in Magnus' arms, it made him smile while switching to his original position. He heard the particularly noisy tabby cat's purring near his ear and rubbed his nose against the back caramel skin before falling asleep.

When Alec woke up, he noticed two things: the pillow under his head and Magnus' body against his back. The latter was firmly squeezing him and Alec didn't have to move to feel his erection against his buttocks, he himself had one.

The slow and steady breath of Magnus tickled his neck, he thought it would be better to get up as he already felt unable to leave the bed. Half awake, he jumped when Chairman Meow's fur stroked his ankles.

''Shhh, come here you must be hungry,'' he murmured.

The tabby cat meowed and followed him in the kitchen. He watched him eating contentedly with an amused smile, thinking that he had never seen such a lovely cat, and rummaged in the cupboards searching for some food. He found large quantities of tea and randomly took a tea bag.

He didn't have to wait long to see Magnus coming out of the bedroom with half-closed eyes, messy hair, and his pajama bottoms very low on his hips, revealing his V-line that Alec kept staring at.

Magnus was not a morning person and hated to be awake unnaturally. Scared to be the reason, Alec gave him a worried look and handed him the cup of tea he had prepared for himself. Magnus looked at the cup for a moment, blinking, firmly struggling to keep his eyes opened and took it.

''When did you come in ?'' he finally asked in a hoarse voice.

''Around 4:00 am I'd say...I couldn't sleep.''

''You should have pulled the pillow from me.''

''And wake you up ?''

Magnus smiled, put down his cup and took him in his arms.

''What about Max?''

''He had things to do at home so he went back early,'' he evaded.

Magnus nodded and kissed his temple. His kiss was warm, long and full of love. Alec closed his eyes to savor it.

''You seem so tired,'' he said touching his cheek.

Magnus nodded ''I had a lot of things to do...''

''Let's go back to bed then,'' Alec said while embarrassing himself.

Head nestled into the neck of the other, none of them moved, making Alec smile against Magnus' shoulder. When he decided to move, Magnus followed him immediately.

Once in the big bed, Magnus snuggled against him with a satisfied smile. Being in underwear, Alec enjoyed the touch of his body against him and agreed to be embraced because he naively believed they really were going to sleep. It didn't prevent him throwing a last suspicious look at Magnus behind his eyes half closed.

Magnus played along at the beginning and they slumbered, at least it was what Alec thought before being awakened by wandering hands on his back and buttocks. He grunted and gave him a small stroke with his nose in his neck. Magnus smiled and nipped his shoulder. He was fully awake now and wanted to play.

Alec tried his best to get back to sleep, he had to face the facts that a shower of kisses wouldn't help, far from it. Head stuck between the pillow and Magnus' neck, he decided to play too and kissed the hollow below the ear and let his lips stick in the same place, too tired to move.

''We'll play later,'' he whined.

''When later?'' asked Magnus pulling his hand up along his thigh.

''When I'll be fully awake,'' Alec whispered starting to fall asleep again.

Magnus sighed in his hair. ''And now you're fully awake?''

Alec slightly grinned and raised his head to kiss his jaw. ''Not yet.''

''And now ?'' asked Magnus nibbling his ear lobe.

''What time is it ?'' he asked in a resigned tone.

''Why ?'' said Magnus squeezing him a little more against him in case he decided to leave.

''I want to know if it's play time,'' murmured Alec.

Magnus immediately detached from him looking for his phone. Alec frowned as Magnus' neck was no longer protecting him against the daylight.

''My phone is on the floor if you want,'' Alec said lowly, blinking to chase the sleep from his eyes.

He was immediately crushed under Magnus' weight and smiled. The latter took the opportunity to slip an arm around his waist.

''It's 2:00 pm, can we play?'' asked Magnus putting the phone down and correctly positioning his body on him.

Alec blinked and felt Magnus' mouth here and there on his face. ''What do you want to play ?'' he asked, perfectly knowing what he wanted to do.

And if they would play until the end.

Magnus brushed his lips in a teasing way.

''Is it your revenge today?'' asked Alec fully awake now, looking straight in Magnus' astonishing eyes.

Magnus stopped biting his chin. ''It depends if you want to.''

''What about you?'' he said sliding his hands on his back.

Magnus leaned on his elbows on either side of his head, lightening him from his weight, to better caress his face.

''Well, you know what I want.''

Yeah I do , thought Alec. Actually, he wanted it too but there was a but. He was still uneasy about many things. He cleared his throat and hoped that Magnus wouldn't feel the pounding sound of his heart.

''I'm still worried about many things,'' he blurted out.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. ''Like what?'' he asked after kissing him.

Alec kissed him back on his chin and opened his mouth but changed his mind, and looked away, embarrassed.

Magnus sighed and rolled on his side. ''Tell me.''

Alec suddenly felt shy and couldn't look him in the eye. He finally took a deep breath. ''I'm afraid to be really lame, and that you won't feel anything because I wouldn't know what to do. And...hum... it blocks me.''

He looked up to meet Magnus' stare.

''You forgot about your nudity,'' he said in a low voice.

''I'm uptight.''

''You're modest.''

''Does it matter?''

''I don't understand why you're handsome, you have what's needed where needed, and I love your body. We're both men so it’s supposed to make things easier.''

Alec sighed, ignoring want he just heard, he knew he was ridiculous but he couldn't help it. Magnus already saw him fully naked but he just felt awkward and embarrassed when it occurred.

''Maybe I have a problem,'' he grumbled.

''Undress.''

Alec blinked and frowned. Then, immediately put his hands on his hips to keep his boxer brief on, which got lowered by Magnus.

His eyes widened and he winced.

''Do you want me to undress first?'' Magnus firmly asked.

Petrified, Alec didn't answer and looked at him getting undress with amazement. Magnus threw the piece of cloth he was holding to the other side of the room and gave him a defiant gaze.

''It's because you're confident,'' he squealed when Magnus tried to undress him from his underwear.

''What are you unconfident about ?'' Magnus asked in an exasperated tone.

Seeking to escape from the hands that had crept into his underwear, Alec pressed himself against him in a desperate attempt. Magnus clenched teeth.

''Alexander, I already saw you naked, remember?'' he insisted. ''And I already touch you many times, we even did...''

''Alright! Alright...'' surrendered Alec and he removed Magnus' hands from the inside of his underwear.

But Magnus immediately grabbed him by the hips and firmly held him against him to make sure he wouldn't run away.

''I can't undress this way,'' Alec stated.

Magnus withdrew his hands and watched every one of his moves. When Alec had finished, he put his hands back on his hips and pressed up against his body.

''How do you feel now?'' he teased with a smirk.

Alec mainly felt embarrassed. ''Naked,'' he answered awkwardly.

''I don't understand why you're so unconfident about your body, I mean I can, but you have no reason to be this way. And believe me, I know what I mean.''

''Can I redress now ?'' he uncertainly asked.

''No.''

Alec opened his mouth to protest but Magnus' gaze stopped him. He wasn't used to be looking at and even less this way. Magnus could have a pretty intense look and it was making Alec embarrassed: being subject to such a look.

He wanted to say it was a mistake and that there was no reason for him to be looked at this way.

But Alec just had to get used to being wanted.

He tensed up when he felt Magnus' stare on his full body and when his hands explored him, he should have guessed it.

''You were never ever embarrassed by being naked?'' asked Alec with an uptight voice when Magnus kissed his hip.

''No, why? Should I be?'' he asked in a cocky tone against his skin.

Alec snorted. ''No, not at all.''

Magnus kept his lips on his tattoo to get used to his presence and when Alec became less tense, moved lower and nibbled insistently his thighs in several places. Alec slightly straightened up and saw the purplish marks that were now covering his body. When he felt Magnus' mouth closing on his erected member, his heart raced. Relax, it feels good, he pondered to himself.

Alec kept his eyes shut and bit his lips, overwhelmed by the sensations. Magnus' tongue was expertly teasing him but he managed to convince himself to let him do whatever he wanted today as it was the Revenge day.

''I won't last if you go on,'' he murmured in a shaky voice stroking hesitantly his hair.

Magnus gently pulled up his hands along his thighs, his hips, and his sides, and then suddenly did something with his cheeks that made Alec breathed heavily. Seems like he doesn't want me to last , he thought while trying to control his breath and his body at the same time.

Alec tried to warn Magnus when he felt carried away by pleasure but the latter ignored him and, arms wrapped around his thighs and hands firmly holding his hips against the mattress, swallowed. Jerky breathing, his heart madly pounding and his lips slightly parted to catch his breath, Alec felt literally emptied and mortified. This time, they had gone throughout.

He winced when Magnus bit his thigh too hard, the latter apologized gently kissing the painful part. Alec closed his eyes for a moment to get a grip on himself. He suddenly felt Magnus' body on his own and when he opened his blue eyes met his stare.

''Seems like you learned your lesson,'' Magnus whispered in his neck and facing his questioning glance clarified. ''Staying naked without any shame and letting go, what did you think?''

By way of an answer, Alec slid his hand down along Magnus' body to seize his member still erect and kissed him eagerly on the corner of the mouth.

''Teach me something else,'' he hastily whispered.

He was tired and feared that his body wouldn't follow his mind but Magnus rubbed against him in a delicious way, making him unable to not react. He could feel his unfulfilled desire by his long hips thrusts, insistent, that lingered firmly against his groin.

''Do you want me to do what you did to me?"Alec asked shyly when Magnus slid his hands under his backside to raised his hips in order to better rub against him.

''Another time,'' he breathed kissing him with avidity.

Alec inserted his tongue into his mouth and Magnus carefully caught it between his teeth. A shudder ran through him and he hastened to wrap his legs around Magnus' waist to feel him closer. It made Magnus knead his buttocks and his hips insistently, his thrusts more fierce than before.

Alec didn't feel really embarrassed, obsessed as he was to satisfy the desire which had focused again in his groin.

''Want to do it?'' he managed to ask with a heavy breathing.

Magnus grunted and gave a stronger roll of his hips than the previous ones. Alec captured his mouth eagerly and moved his hips upward. Magnus slightly tipped to the side and opened a drawer of his bedside table. Alec took the opportunity to be on top of him, for once and did the same while devouring him with kisses. Magnus raised his eyebrows surprised and laughed before violently closing the drawer and switch Alec onto his back.

''I'll show you first,'' he said in an amused tone and putting what he had taken on the pillow.

Alec turned his head and saw the lube. So it'll happen for real , he thought. He felt apprehension, curiosity, and excitement at the thought of doing it.

''Do you want me to use a condom?'' asked Magnus. ''I always wear one but with you...should have wear one sooner, anyway I'm as clean as you,'' he clarified.

Alec stared at him, unable to answer.

''I'll wear one,'' Magnus finally decided.

Alec frowned seeing the blue condom.

''I respect the theme,'' smirked Magnus while opening the lubricant. ''Which is blue eyes.''

Alec felt strangely relieved that the tube was new. Magnus coated his fingers and half put himself back on him while spreading his legs. Alec did his best to not tensed up when Magnus' hand slid down to his crotch, then inside of his thighs to finally reach the famous area.

''Relax,'' he murmured against his ear and nibbling his lobe.

Alec took a deep breath when he felt a finger inserted in him. It was not painful but uncomfortable. He slipped his arm around Magnus' waist and kissed him. The latter embraced him with the same fervor while doing circular movements with his finger. Alec hung into him more strongly when he inserted a second finger which made him bite Magnus' tongue involuntarily. The concerned one frowned and soothed him with a sweet kiss while continuing his circular movements and studying his facial expressions carefully to make sure he was not suffering.

A blue condom, Alec thought with amusement when his eyes fell on him again.

His eyes widened when Magnus touched a particular spot and winced when he inserted a third finger. Now, it was painful. When he looked up at Magnus' face and saw his eyes full of worry, he hastened to kiss him in order to reassure him. For all the circular moves, the pain slowly faded.

''Ready?'' Magnus asked into his ear.

Alec blinked and nodded, Magnus gazed at him and took the lube that he spread, this time, on his member. While looking at him, Alec briefly wondered if staying on the back would be a good position. And apparently it did because Magnus got on him and lifted his thighs.

''I'm not flexible.''

Magnus chuckled and wrapped his legs around his waist. Then, he slid his hands under his buttocks and raised his crotch to stick it against his, while resting on his knees. Finally, he positioned himself at the required location and slowly sank into him.

Never would Alec have thought it would be so painful, he kept his eyes shut and tried to open them while trying to keep a straight face. Magnus didn't move but dropped a shower of kisses on his face to soothe the pain. It was not yet fully in him but the feeling of being ripped was still there.

Alec was beginning to think it would be a disaster when he saw Magnus' expression and thought about his own that could hardly be better. Panting, Magnus looked as in pain as he was, making Alec worried about the progress of their intercourse.

''You can move,'' he managed to breathe against his chin.

No matter how painful it was, he wanted Magnus to feel pleasure.

Magnus didn't move immediately slipping his hand between their bodies to touch him while entering gradually and completely in him. It was still painful and Alec glanced anxiously at Magnus who was trying to soothe him by any means. The latter seemed desperately fighting against his sexual impulses to not move as he wanted.

Alec licked his lips with the tip of his tongue and kissed him passionately. Magnus slowly pulled back and plunged back into him before rolling his hips with restraint. The pain was less present and the uncomfortable feeling persisted but Alec was beginning to get used to it, enjoying more Magnus' body against him and his kisses. The warm feeling inside him and the throbbing pain began to turn into something more pleasant but not as intense as the blow job before.

Yet, Alec finally grasped Magnus' buttocks to make him thrust deeper and faster into him while moving his pelvis to accentuate the sensations that were beginning to wash over him.

A wave of relief crossed Magnus' face who slipped his arm under his thigh, lifted and blocked it under his arm to better penetrate him. Alec started to feel the difference and gasped. Magnus nibbled his lips and did the same with the other leg.

Alec liked this proximity and the feeling inside him, so much that he got lost in Magnus' mouth and began gasping for air. And yet, there was always a certain restraint in the actions of Magnus and Alec wondered if he was really satisfied.

Both of them were sweating and the mattress just like Magnus' body was burning against his skin. Eyes locked together, Alec couldn't suppress a groan when Magnus touched a particular spot inside him. With a predatory smile, Magnus did it again until Alec gave in.

Magnus' steady rhythm thrusts were still worrying Alec who felt as if he wasn't satisfied at all. Even when he withdrew and fell down on him breathing heavily and interlacing their fingers together, Alec wasn't convinced Magnus had been satiated at all.

After having noticed that Magnus was even more handsome during and after a sexual intercourse, Alec tired as he was quickly fell asleep when Magnus went up to throw away the blue condom.

He had a weird dream.

He was with Magnus on his couch and talking animatedly about something that made no sense and yet, Magnus listened and looked at him with that expression which made Alec's heart fluttered and kissed him when suddenly Robert walked in and Magnus turned into a Lydia with the same yellow-green eyes.

''It's not what you prefer?'' she asked with Magnus' gestures.

Alec opened his eyes and blinked to chase the latest images that haunted his pupils. He was flat on his stomach without a pillow and it was quite late as the light darkened. He turned on his back and swore inwardly. He had aches, his butt was in pain, he was still naked and he remembered that he, suddenly and lamely, fell asleep right after an intimate moment with Magnus.

He turned his head to see where he was and furrowed his brows. Magnus was still in bed, the sheets rolled up to his navel and was looking at the ceiling with concerned. Alec crawled to him and winced. His aches were painful and the idea of sitting gave him a cold sweat.

He touched Magnus' hip with his fingertips who gasped and lost instantly his cold and distant expression.

''Did you sleep well ?'' he teased, moving closer and holding him in his arms.

''I'm sorry,'' said Alec who felt bad.

I'll be better next time and won't fall asleep as fast as I did, he wanted to add.

''Nonsense,'' Magnus whispered, hiding his face in his neck and putting one leg over his.

''Not too disappointed?''

Magnus kissed his shoulder. ''I wasn't and it was your first time Alexander if you were amazingly good in bed I would have been really worried.''

Alec couldn't help smiling which Magnus hastened to kiss.

''What about you?'' he finally asked.

His tone was distant as if the answer didn't really matter to him but Alec knew it did.

''You were as great as is expected from Magnus Bane.''

He could feel his smile against his shoulder.

''And I think you can make me amazingly good in bed,'' he added in a light tone.

*

Alec didn't sleep at Magnus the time his aches and his pain in the bottom disappear. It had been only three days and he couldn't stop dwelling on the fact that it was a disaster. Not as bad as he thought but equally embarrassing, and he was panicking just thinking about it.

They were all invited into Jace's new apartment and if it looked like a trifling acquisition for the others, Alec knew for a fact that he was moving in with Clary and that it would be a surprise. As Robert told him with disdain.

''It seems that you traumatize teenagers Alec?''

Alec turned towards Simon who looked at him with mischief. Max had told Izzy the incident, and if Simon knew it meant everyone knew. Alec no longer wanted to see Jace and Clary's apartment if everyone would stare at him in the same way.

''You're not with Izzy?''

Simon blinked and smiled. ''She is already with Clary.''

They silently waited in front of the elevator before Simon took a deep breath.

''You don't mind about your sister and me ?''

''No, but I think it's surprising.''

Seeing the head of the latter, he winced. ''I mean, I wasn't expecting it: you and her.''

''Me neither,'' admitted Simon. ''She's so...so... and I'm...''

Alec nodded, he completely understood him. ''Everything's okay?''

''I'd say yes.''

''You forgot Clary?''

They looked at each other for a long time. ''I love your sister.''

Alec smiled. '' I know she's able to defend herself but it doesn't prevent me to intervene if needed.''

He entered the elevator under the bewildered gaze of Simon.

''Are you threatening me?'''

''No, I'm warning you, go in before the doors close.''

''What about you and Magnus ?''

Alec gave him a quick look but didn't answer.

''So I have your authorization?''

''What?''

''Izzy and me, we have your authorization?''

''As if you need one.''

''I want your authorization.''

Alec stepped off the elevator, giving him one last suspicious look. ''What for?''

He rang the doorbell and sighed when Simon insisted again.

''Okay, you have my authorization, leave me alone now.''

Simon threw himself on him and hugged him. ''I'm going out with your sister, it deserves a hug right?''

The door opened at the same time and Jace raised an eyebrow.

''Izzy, Alec is stealing your boyfriend! And Alec is cheating on you, Magnus!''

''Seriously?'' Alec said in a jaded tone, handed him his gift.

''I don't have one,'' said Simon releasing Alec and walking in like a conqueror.

''So you fondled Magnus in front of Max ?'' Jace teased, leading inside. ''I'd never have thought of it from you Alec. ''

''Said the guy who did it with two girls on the sofa when we were in high school and Max was in his room.''

''You saw it?''

Alec had been slightly traumatized that the sixteen-year-old Jace was this depraved and the image of his naked body had lengthily haunted his fantasies. He raised his eyebrows when he saw an open box in which were plastic ducks.

''Magnus' gift,'' sighed Jace.

Alec rolled his eyes and met Magnus' gaze who did his best to look innocent. The latter came closer with a mischievous smile.

''You don't like your gift, Jace ?''

''What do you want me to do with those ducks ?'' he growled.

While they were chatting, Clary, Izzy, Simon, Ragnor, and Catarina had approached, Alec cast a glance at the apartment. Clary's presence was evident in the decoration and the objects lying around on the floor, which was not in Jace habits.

Magnus' mouth stayed a long time at his temple and his arm wrapped around his waist.

''You're coming back with me tonight?''

Alec peered into the green eyes where yellow specks shone and smiled. Magnus grinned back and softly kissed him on his lips.

''Fortunately, Max isn't here,'' said the amused voice of Ragnor.

There was some laughter and Magnus began to defend Alec's honor, while the latter gave a dirty look to Izzy.

Her sister gave him a predatory smile. ''You did it,'' she mouthed. ''I know everything,'' she added, pointing a finger at Magnus.

Alec's eyes widened with bewilderment and he looked suspiciously at Magnus who didn't realize anything.

''Izzy lured him with photos and stories about you when you were little,'' murmured Catarina. ''Don't blame him. ''

Alec gave her a bewildered look. She knew too.

''I was just near them,'' she added with a small smile.

Everybody knew then.

 

The news was quickly announced by Jace. Everyone was surprised, even Simon didn't know. Alec immediately felt Magnus' eyes on him and refused to meet his gaze.

''Isn't it too early to live together?'' Izzy asked nonchalantly.

''Lucky you,'' said Magnus sipping his glass of wine.

Catarina stared at Magnus then to Alec before focusing again on Clary and Jace.

''Your mother agreed?'' she asked Clary.

''She likes me,'' boasted Jace.

Alec took advantage of the heated moment to isolate himself in the kitchen and pulled out his phone. Lydia had sent him a text: I told my parents I wanted this engagement, let's wait until the situation calmed down and we will calmly think about a solution .

He stayed a long time in the kitchen listening to the loud exclamations from the next room. He wanted to be alone and put some order into his thoughts. Previously, only his siblings occupied them, now Magnus, Lydia, and his mother were added. It began to be a little too much.

Alec didn't tell Jace and Izzy about Maryse, he didn't want to spoil their evening while they were this happy.

*

He was relieved that Magnus didn't ask about the issue of moving in, on their way back or in the elevator. Their relationship was fine for Alec as it was: to see each other when they could, to sleep with him when he wanted with the possibility to return home whenever he wanted.

''You look preoccupied,'' Magnus noticed taking his cat in his arms. ''You want to talk about it?''

''I'm not so there's nothing to talk about,'' murmured Alec going to brush his teeth.

Magnus followed him and leaned against the sink.

''It's about Max?''

Alec carefully avoided watching him and concentrated on what he was doing. It was true that putting toothpaste on his toothbrush was a daunting task and required great concentration.

''Alexander?''

''I told you it was nothing.''

Magnus narrowed his eyes and sighed.

Looking into the large mirror and noticing his scowl and his yellow eyes, Alec knew he wasn't in a good mood because of him. And he didn't like it, he didn't like how he was with Magnus: unable to confide. The latter could feel it and resent him for that.

They watched TV and Alec couldn't help being on the defensive fearing that Magnus would again be too curious.

''I'll eventually make you talk, it's only a matter of time,'' Magnus said before kissing him.

Alec wanted to watch a program about the animal kingdom until very late and thought that Magnus would be already asleep when he joined him in the bedroom but he found him on his laptop, concentrated in the dark silky sheets. Alec wondered for a moment if it was satin or silk, and if these materials were really different.

Magnus smiled and closed his computer. Alec carefully slipped into the sheets and turned his back, cursing at himself for being childish. But he was glad to wear a shirt for once, the silky and slightly cold feeling against his cheek gave him a weird sensation.

He heard Magnus sigh and put away his computer, Alec cringed when he turned out the light without a word. With a heavy heart, Alec closed his eyes ready to fall asleep. He heard a rustling of sheets and a warm sensation came from his back, and an arm encircled his waist with hesitation. Alec hurried back to make their bodies touch and was relieved when Magnus hugged him harder and laid his lips on his neck.

''Are you going to sulk?'' asked Magnus dropping light kisses on his neck and across his shirt.

''I don't sulk.''

He felt Magnus smile against his back and smiled back. He found this position soothing and started to relax in his embrace. He felt Magnus' hand under his t-shirt, sliding to his navel and drawing around arabesques. Alec frowned when he felt his hand going down below, up above his navel to bypass it and then back down lower and lower.

''You had your revenge the other day.''

''I still haven't touched my benefits,'' said Magnus with an amused voice against his ear. ''Neither those for the alarm clock.''

Alec winced, wondering if he had been this unsatisfied and how he could make up for it. There was only one way: practice until getting better. Provided that Magnus still wanted to have sex with him despite his incompetence.

''Was it really okay the other day?'' he asked with a wary voice.

Magnus' hand which until now only touched him with fingertips, was touching with a handful his stomach and lower abdomen.

''I can show you again how okay it was if you want,'' he answered while pressing up his hips against his backside.

Alec seriously considered his offer but Magnus' hand got the better of him and he nodded enthusiastically, turning over and passionately kissed him.

This time, it was Alec who undressed Magnus and the condom was yellow. He noted that it brought out the yellow in Magnus' eyes who smiled with amusement.

''Next time it'll be green then,'' he added against his lips.

It was less painful and uncomfortable than Alec feared and he managed to do better, knowing a little more what to expect and what to do. He was relieved and saddened to see that Magnus was less holding back and what he had thought had been right: Magnus hadn't been satisfied the first time, not as much as he had.

He felt strange and oddly pleased when he saw Magnus' face crossed by pleasure. Captivated by his eyes and his face which sex had conferred a strange beauty, that was added to his natural handsomeness, Alec stared at him slightly disturbed. Magnus, breathless, nestled his head into his shoulder to catch his breath.

Alec took the opportunity to kiss his shoulder and freed Magnus' legs where he had wrapped around his earlier. He shuddered when he stood up to throw the condom.

''Don't sleep,'' Magnus teased leaning in to kiss his nose.

''I won't,'' Alec retorted who couldn't resist the urge to watch him get up and walk in the nude.

He meticulously stared at his long legs and slowly, very slowly went up towards his thighs, lingered above a long time, then scanned his back several times and finally his shoulders and his arms slightly thin but muscular. When the body of Magnus disappeared from his sight, Alec hesitated to get up to take a shower but he felt goof into the silky sheets and a soft lethargy had come over him. Fortunately, he had enough strength to get the sheets on the floor and covered his body.

I seriously need to improve my endurance , he thought trying not to yawn. He didn't even have the strength to turn on the belly and it was better otherwise he would fall asleep straight away, like last time.

He winced when he felt the sheets slide down and a slight shiver ran through his body.

''I'm not sleeping and I'm cold,'' he sighed before opening his eyes.

He still felt the need to cover his nakedness and tried to take back the sheets Magnus had knowingly removed.

''I'll be your blanket,'' Magnus stated with a cheeky smile climbing on the bed.

Alec couldn't restrain a smile and wrapped his arms around his neck to hug him.

''What about yours ?'' he asked with a grin.

With a theatrical sigh, Magnus pulled a piece of the sheets that had remained at the foot of the bed and covered himself.

''This is mine and I'm still yours,'' he said before getting on him.

Alec held his breath when he felt their groin touch again, reminding him of the state and the sensations he felt earlier and frowned when he discovered what he had missed last time: the cuddles and kisses session right after a sexual intercourse with Magnus.

He knew that Magnus was touch and hug, but didn't expect him to touch him this much. 

''I didn't know there was a bonus at the end,'' he murmured when Magnus kissed his neck.

''There's always one with me.''

''We're even now?'' asked Alec, referring to the benefits and his alarm clock.

Magnus looked up and weighed all his weight on him, Alec continued his hand's straight movements on his back.

''We're even,'' he finally said, capturing his mouth.

After several languid kisses and some passionate caresses, Magnus rolled onto his side still holding Alec tightly against him. The latter slipped a leg between his and nestled his head in the crook of his neck and breathed in with contentment, wrapped by Magnus' warmth and smell.

''Aku cinta kamu,'' Magnus suddenly whispered against his ear.

Alec frowned, he didn't hear. ''What did you say?''

Magnus moved and rubbed his cheek against his. ''Aku cinta kamu, it means I love you in Indonesian,'' he said again.

Alec's heart raced and his breath became heavy, he hadn't once said to Magnus that he loved him. The time had come to tell him, he opened his mouth the words on the tip of the tongue but nothing came out.

He blocked and his I love you was only thought.

Alec thought with despair that he had missed the opportunity and felt guilty, feeling a familiar heavy noose in the chest. He still had to do something. He squeezed Magnus harder against him and kissed him, hoping that the latter would be satisfied with this until he gathered his guts to voice his I love you which foolishly remained stuck on the tip of his tongue.

The alarm clock -recently put back- rang and Alec winced thinking about Magnus who hated being awakened by this stupid object. He heard his groan of protest and sat up as quickly as possible to turn it off, but was crushed against the mattress unable to move.

Magnus violently brought down his hand on the alarm clock that was only doing its job and gave a grunt of satisfaction when the alarm didn't sound. Alec gave him an amused look and tried to pull away but Magnus didn't move. He blinked and gave him a sleepy look before resting his head on his torso and settling himself in a comfortable position that would prevent Alec from going out of the bed.

Magnus' breath quickly became regular and now was tickling him. Alec didn't dare to move. He hadn't been fast enough. Like last night , he thought bitterly slipping his hand into Magnus tangled dark hair.

Thinking about how late he would be at Idris, Alec sighed when he felt Magnus' lips against his skin.

''Magnus.''

''We have time.''

''To take a shower and eat but not for that.''

''We still have time for that.''

''We don't.''

Magnus nibbled the skin around his bellybutton.

Alec surrendered. ''Just a little then.''

Magnus gave him a triumphant smile and Alec drew him closer.

 

''You know,'' said Magnus tracing the contours of his tattoos, one by one, to stop at the one on his hip. ''All of them reflect you pretty well.''

He stroked again at those in the crook of his arm and went up on his left arm to touch the Sun and Moon tattoo on his shoulder.

''I love this one.''

''Why?'' asked Alec slightly surprised.

He had always thought that Magnus preferred the balance on his hip because it had remained hidden for a long time and because it was in a fairly strategic place.

''I know you did this tattoo because of a book but every time I look at it, it makes me think of you and me.''

Alec blinked and couldn't restrain a smile. ''You mean you are as dazzling as the Sun?''

He knew for a fact what Magnus meant, he even compared him to the Sun with his looks and his ability to make people gravitate around him. If Magnus was the Sun, and he was, it made Alec the Moon. And he liked it.

Magnus brushed the formula of silver nitrate tattooed on his sides absently. ''I read somewhere that the Sun loves the Moon so much that he dies every night to let her breathe.''

Alec let out a strangled noise that betrayed his embarrassment. Magnus laughed and kissed him.

''I didn't expect this one from you,'' he said, embarrassed to have heard something so cheesy.

Magnus chuckled. ''Physically and with your personality you are the Moon and I'm not talking about your pretty buttocks.''

''Magnus,'' sighed Alec closing his eyes but couldn't help smiling. ''Then, we're not made for each other,'' he murmured more seriously.

''We're made for each other,'' Magnus firmly retorted kissing his shoulder.

Alec's throat tightened, he was still unable to say his feelings and it frustrated him.

''Would you like to go on a trip with me?''

Alec frowned. ''When and where?''

''For my birthday and I don't know, you could ask for days off hoping that your father agrees.''

Alec stared at the ceiling. Magnus' birthday would be in three months and he knew that he usually celebrated it with his friends. Alec had never been able to attend one it was too intimate and he had never considered being close enough to Magnus until recently.

''What about your friends ?''

''Oh, I could do something before or after but I'd also like to do something just between the two of us.''

Alec was silent for a moment but Magnus patiently waited for his answer. For a brief moment, he wondered if they would still be together by then and immediately drove this thought away.

''Not a too warm place then.''

He felt Magnus' smile against his neck and his body unlike his mind relaxed.

Alec had never felt so loved and it frightened him. Maybe he was not mature enough for a relationship and it was what was blocking him to tell his feelings and to move in together, but a part of him was still not used to it.

Maybe he should have been mentally prepared to be loved by someone like Magnus.

He quickly took a shower and refused the breakfast proposed by Magnus who frowned at his tousled hair.

''I'll be late,'' Alec groaned when the latter tried to style it.

Magnus gave him a smirk and kissed his forehead. ''Have a good day my darling and don't forget that -if my memory and my culture are still good- Buddha said there are three things which can't stay hidden forever: the Sun, the Moon, and the Truth.''

Alec took care to expire as calmly as possible despite the unfathomable gaze locked into his. Then Magnus, still smirking, leaned in and softly kissed him.

''You'll be late if you don't hurry.''

*

Lydia and Alec were now officially engaged. They met after the interminable meal where they were polite, smiling and courteous, unlike the last time their family had met.

''We are engaged now, how do you feel?'' she asked with a worried face. ''It's nothing against you but I want to throw up.''

Alec was sure his smile looked more like a wince than anything else. He felt bad: febrile, anxious, nervous and confused. But it was the sensation of choking that prevented him from breathing.

Lydia automatically put her cold hand on his cheek in a reassuring gesture.

''Don't worry Alec you have me, I'm a good friend.''

''It happened so fast,'' he whispered.

''I don't want you to be friends,'' Robert coldly said.

Lydia and Alec froze and exchanged a distraught glance. But Robert was smiling.

''I'm so glad to see you finally together.''

For a brief moment, Alec wondered if through this engagement his father would relax his guard and imagined living a more carefree life with Magnus.

''This contract was a really good idea,'' his father murmured in his ear before leaving to join his wife and the Branwell.

Alec saw his mother, the blank stare, and her saddened look. She hadn't said a word throughout the whole dinner and was gazing at an imaginary point above Alec's shoulder who didn't look away from her. Maybe he should nonetheless talk with her about the spying mystery.

Maryse looked up and her eye briefly passed to Lydia to him still as blankly as before. Their gaze locked together for a short moment and Maryse smiled with a smile which wasn't one.

Alec's heart sank. He was engaged and his mother was depressed, things couldn't be worse than they were.

*

Actually, they could.

Magnus threw at him an annoyed look.

''What is this family stuff?''

''A family obligation, a meal if you prefer.''

Magnus' lips tightened. ''And it's that important?'' he asked coldly.

Alec scowled and also tossed him an annoyed look. He was stressed at the moment and he knew that he neglected Magnus in favor of Lydia. Guilt and being mired in lies were slowly killing him.

''And I'm not selfish, I just want to spend time with you. And don't tell me another time, it's been a long time since there was another time.''

Alec looked down, beset by guilt. Magnus' fingers under his chin made him look up.

''I feel like you're getting away, '' he muttered in a painful tone. ''And you don't even tell me what's wrong, you refuse to tell me anything.''

Alec closed his eyes when he heard the slamming sound of the door.

The lies had never taken place in Alec's life until recently. Not even little ones. While now... It was only a matter of time before he gave in.

Lydia was already waiting at their usual table at the Palace and she had the same gloomy face. They didn't even smile.

''I saw your mother and your little brother yesterday.''

The first thought that crossed Alec's brain was that Max was out with their mother to take her mind off things, he felt relieved and then panic froze him and Lydia's look gave him a reason.

''She said I was your fiance and...hum... Max's head was epic.''

''Crap,'' he murmured. ''When was it?'' he asked again.

''Yesterday.''

Max didn't send him any text. Alec ran his hand through his hair already enough disheveled.

Lydia sadly chuckled. ''Our engagement fails us,'' she joked.

But Alec wasn't listening, he imagined what Max must have thought, who knew he was dating Magnus. He was screwed. The situation seemed to tighten increasingly, there would soon be no way to escape.

''How was he?''

''Max? Shocked I would say, it's understandable... and I think he doesn't like me just because I'm your fiancée.''

Alec took a deep breath to calm himself. He had to call him after the meal.

''Breath Alec,'' Lydia was patting his hand with a gesture that was meant reassuring.

''I have breathing problems nowadays.''

''Alcohol for me, I have never drunk so much in all my life.''

Alec smirked.

Lydia threw a glance around her and her gaze lingered longer somewhere before returning to Alec who frowned.

''You've spotted the spy?''

''I don't want you to panic but there's a man who's looking at us for a long time and emphatically.''

Alec resisted the urge to turn around and stared at her with a bad feeling.

''Describe him,'' he murmured.

Lydia took a last look at their observer before staring at Alec right in the eyes.

''He's Asian, rather handsome.''

Alec's heart missed a beat and his breathing became jerky. ''What about his eyes?''

Lydia's eyes converged again on the object of her description. ''Clear eyes, with makeup and glitter,'' she said and shrugged. ''It suits him pretty well.''

What Magnus was doing here? Alec wondered at the edge of panic. He didn't dare to look back.

''You know him?'' asked Lydia before drinking her glass of water.

Before Alec could answer, a waiter came to their table with a bottle of wine. Lydia frowned whereas Alec was on the verge of apoplexy. Magnus particularly loved this wine.

''On behalf of Magnus Bane who wants you to enjoy your evening.''

''Who is Magnus Bane?'' asked Lydia while watching Alec but her eyes immediately converged to the one she described earlier. ''Alec?''

The latter reflected at full speed. He was gay, Magnus knew it. His only crimes were to have abandoned him for a girl, lying repeatedly and to be engaged with the said girl.

The trap was completely closed on himself. Nothing was to be gained from lying.

His phone buzzed.

**The Glittery One**

_Follow me outside_

Alec whirled and saw Magnus' tall figure heading towards the exit. The fateful moment had arrived as feared. Karma , he bitterly thought.

''I'm sorry,'' he said to Lydia who was strangely staring at him.

And walked awkwardly outside and felt as if everyone was watching him. Alec reached the entrance faster than expected and found himself short of words when he saw that Magnus was waiting right outside, cold and aloof.

''What are you doing here?'' he asked.

Magnus didn't turn. ''I am a regular and so far I liked to eat in that restaurant.''

He finally turned and Alec resisted the urge to retreat with great difficulty. Magnus was angry despite his impassive face.

''Who is she?'' he asked coldly.

''A friend,'' murmured Alec who saw Lydia as a friend.

''Is she the famous _'family stuff_ ' you said every time?''

Alec didn't answer and kept his eyes downcast.

''And instead of saying friend will you not rather say Lydia, my fiancée?''

Alec stiffened and looked up to meet Magnus' yellow gaze. How did he know?

''Since when are you seeing her?'' he continued with the same cold tone.

Alec still didn't answer, paralyzed by his stare.

''The first time you said this _'family stuff'_ it was before our second date, am I right?''

''Yes,'' Alec finally admitted lowly.

It had been a long time since he had seen the contempt look on Magnus' face, he noticed with a sinking heart. Magnus looked at him with disdain, the upper lip curled up.

''You're gay,'' he calmly stated this truth. ''So she's supposed to mean nothing but you lied to me. And to say that you have a balance tattooed for your honesty and your integrity,'' he snorted.

Alec gritted his teeth. ''How do you know?'' he managed to ask, not without thinking about Max.

''Remember Donovan? I ran into him not so long ago and he told me that he often saw you with a blonde girl here... I didn't want to believe him at first and I told him to go and fuck himself after.''

Alec had never so much regretted to not have hit him harder when he had the opportunity.

''Seems like the truth doesn't come out from the lips of those you'd hope.''

He had a painful grin seeing the way Alec was looking at him.

''Did you even like me?'' he painfully asked. ''I've been patient with you, I'm your first relationship and you're younger,'' he added as to apologize Alec's behavior.

''I love you,'' Alec suddenly blurt out in despair.

He couldn't believe the words came out in such circumstances and Magnus couldn’t either. He seemed taken aback for a moment before his impassive expression reappeared.

''Really?'' he said, moving closer. ''Then why don't you want to move in with me?''

They finally approached the issue.

''I don't want it. I mean...don't you think it's too early?''

''No.''

''I do, as you said, I don't have much experience in relationships as you so I know nothing, it could explain the ease with which you welcomed me in your place.''

Magnus' eyes were only two slots and he ignored the innuendo.

''You don't say anything to anyone about us as if we were a dirty secret and...''

''We're not. And it's not because you do that I have to do the same and tell everyone about us,'' Alec retorted.

Magnus had attacked a personality trait this time.

''And you gave me the impression that I could never be part of your precious family as if you can't mix apples and oranges together. You never noticed ? You saw me on weekends, it was Max or me but never at the same time, until the other day. And I'm not talking about your parents.''

''You said you would accept me as I am,'' murmured Alec had more and more difficulty to breath.

''I did !'' Magnus angrily said. ''Why did you lie to me?''

Alec stubbornly kept looking down at the floor and clenched his fists.

''Is it because you still don't accept your homosexuality and you want a screen for your homophobic parents? Does this poor girl even know?''

Alec wasn't sure to appreciate the direction this conversation was taking. ''Magnus...''

''It's me or her Alexander,'' he hissed, coming closer. ''Not both at the same time.''

Alec gave him a look that was meant it was impossible, unable to choose between what he wanted and what he had to choose for his siblings and himself. He couldn't. He should have known that at the very moment he had been curious, his selfishness had condemned him.

A painful smile appeared on Magnus' face when he saw Alec didn't make his choice.

''I'll decide for you then,'' he coldly said.

And he walked away with long strides, without throwing him a glance.

Alec looked up once Magnus was gone. He felt as if his heart had been ripped out from his chest, he didn't dare to imagine what Magnus must have felt.

Nothing good could come from lies and Alec just saw the sad truth.

It was only a matter of time before the castle of cards collapsed. Alec had been deluded, karma had caught him back. Alec couldn't deceive anyone else, he was caught in his own trap and there was no escape.

He thought angrily about his own arrogance thinking he could have reconciled his father's expectations and constraints with Magnus. It had worked for a while but the contract and Magnus didn't go together at all.

Alec had been too greedy and it hurt.

Magnus had been all his first times: first kiss, the first person who was interested in him, first to touch him as he did, first to have flirted with him, his first-time sexual relationship and his first break-up.

It was hard to believe it had just ended like that, so simply. It was terrifying. He felt immediately drawn into an endless chasm.

Alec wondered if he would die of grief, feeling the painful noose getting more intense in his chest.

He shouldn't have accepted this relationship, if only he hadn’t been curious, and he wouldn’t have broken someone's heart, nor his own. 'What are remorses for?' Magnus used to say.

Yet, his rational part reappeared after long gone. Magnus had had the gift to make it disappear for a long time.

Now he could make a cross on Magnus and honor all his engagements. Wasn't that what the contract stipulated and what his father wanted? Over his homosexual relationship with Magnus as feared for the heterosexual one with Lydia.

Alec had just broken their hearts, but his rational side had broken his heart into thousand pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM !  
> Was it worth the wait ? Didn't I promise thrill ? Did you feel it ? Are you disappointed ? What did you expect ? Do you want to bury Robert alive or to beat some sense into Alec (as does cazamaree) ? Tell me ! :)
> 
> Magnus told this sentence: ''The truth will always win out'' in chapter 6: Curiosity killed the cat, so yes it was planned from the beginning (not on an angsty impulse or one but right from the beginning)
> 
> Oh and don't write smut in a public place like when there're a lot of people behind you who can read what you're writing, it's a bad idea... Maybe I'll be known now as the girl-who-writes-smut-and-stupidly-giggled-like-a-seal from now on (check out my new profile picture)...It doesn't sound so bad ^^ 
> 
> Maryse is depressive I thought it would suit her as I always saw her this way when I began to write (don't know why maybe because I read something about it like the disease of the century and I thought about her)
> 
> Comments and kudos are like Virgin Shadowhunters Energy, I want it more than I need it ! *glittery wink*
> 
> Next chapter (part2) next Monday ! :)
> 
> And thanks again caz. <3


	12. ...always win out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost couldn't update lucky as I am with technology ! So here we go ! :)

Alec stood in agony out on the pavement outside the Palace. Magnus was gone, it was hard to get this new concept. He was assailed by guilt and was still frustrated by his inability to choose.

He saw himself as someone weak unable to choose, unable to communicate his worries which had led to this situation. He was prisoner of this vicious circle in which he had gone head first and was unable to find the exit.

He just faced the consequences.

Alec didn't even dare imagine what Magnus would think of him now. A closeted liar who had abused the credulity of a girl to be used as a screen for his homophobic parents. It sounded as if he was a manipulator. A liar and a manipulator.

He held his breath to decrease the pain he felt in his chest. It crushed his insides and spread throughout his body.

He didn't see Lydia join him, or coming out looking anxiously at him and gasped when she touched his arm. He tried to show a straight face but didn't manage to be convincing because she grasped his arm more firmly.

''What happened Alec? Who was that guy? '' she softly asked.

He didn't answer. It was as if nothing could cross his mind if not the pain. It filled his body and went through his veins like a corrosive acid. Alec suffered too much from the harm he had caused and the guilt that overwhelmed in response. It was all his fault.

His eyes followed her long blonde braid and fell to what she had in hand.

''You took the bottle of wine? '' he asked, slightly surprised.

Lydia dropped his arm and gave him a little smile.

''It's a good wine, a very good wine I couldn't leave it behind ... Who was this guy?'' she asked again by plunging her eyes into his.

Lydia may be a little being, but her gaze was enough to be intimidating. Alec looked away.

''Magnus Bane, '' he breathed in a whisper.

Lydia stared at him. ''Who is Magnus Bane?'' she asked. ''You can tell me.''

Alec looked at her sadly. ''I think you already know the answer,'' he softly said.

''If you have a boyfriend,'' she carefully said. ''Why are we engaged ? I mean if you're...into men then I don't get the point at all, it doesn't make sense.''

Then, she blinked and stepped back for better looking at him. ''Unless your parents are deluding themselves,'' she realized incredulously. ''They know they can not make you change your sexual orientation?''

''My parents don't want me to be gay,'' Alec stated simply.

Lydia huffed. ''This is ridiculous ... And what about your boyfriend?''

''He's no longer my boyfriend,'' Alec corrected mechanically, thinking of how Magnus was gone.

The incredulous smile Lydia disappeared immediately and she threw a frantic glance at Alec.

''I didn't tell him about you and I lied about everything many times,'' he whispered, holding his breath.

With pursed lips, Lydia stared silently at him. She wanted to help but didn't seem to know what to do.

''Let's not stay here, I already paid. Come to my house, we have to drink and speak above all,'' she announced with a frown.

Alec followed her blankly.

 

Lydia lived alone in a luxury apartment. She might live off her parents, but they wanted to make her independent for the appearances.

''I'm afraid that overnight they could take everything from me,'' she confessed with a wince taking his jacket. ''I regret my former carelessness,'' she sighed.

Alec sat in the big leather couch while Lydia fetched glasses for the wine Magnus had graciously offered. Her apartment was huge, with modern decoration but way too spacious for one person.

''Don't you get too lonely? '' Alec asked, grabbing the glass she handed it to him.

Lydia sat down beside him and crossed her legs, looking smaller than usual.

''I've been alone since my birth, remember that I'm an only child,'' she smirked fiddling her braid. ''I'm used to it, it's not that bad.''

Alec looked anxiously at Lydia. She seemed down and seemed to not live any better his situation.

''I can't believe I broke a couple apart,'' she explained while filling his wine glass before he had the time to refuse.

''You did nothing at all,'' he reassured her with a frown.

Alec looked at his glass as if it contained a particularly dangerous poison, remembering how much Magnus loved this wine.

''Alec,'' she sighed. '' I was the one who wanted to be engaged but I didn't know you had someone...if you had told me I wouldn't have had this idea...your parents don't know about him?''

''I don't know,'' Alec admitted, thinking about his father and the time he had returned with marks on his neck where the latter begged him to tell him that he had been with a girl, then there was the monitoring story.

''Better not, right? ''

Alec nodded and Lydia drank her wine like a water glass.

''You're not supposed to know that I prefer men..., '' he whispered.

Lydia was silent for a long moment and fiddled with the empty glass she held in her hands.

''Why did not you tell him? He could have understood, right?''

''He wouldn't have understood. Magnus..., '' Alec almost choked when he said his name. ''Magnus lives without constraints and he didn't understand that I...I had trouble accepting my homosexuality,'' he admitted. ''He would have seen it as another weakness of mind... He must also think that I'm still in the closet and that I'm abusing your trust,'' he added sadly.

''You have abused no-one,'' reassured Lydia with a pompous tone.

Alec took a deep breath. ''My father said I couldn't be gay, that I had no right to be so,'' he explained. ''And I really tried but...,'' he trailed off, staring into space.

''Then you met him?'' Lydia said softly with a smile.

''I would say accepted,'' he corrected not knowing if he was speaking about Magnus or his homosexuality, maybe both.

''What about your siblings? ''

''They know.''

''It doesn't bother them, right?''

''No.''

His eyes fell again on Lydia when he heard the gurgling of the bottle, she poured the contents into her empty glass whereas he still hadn't drunk his.

And for the first time, Alec spoke about Magnus to someone. Neither he nor Lydia spoke of their commitment or the reasons that had led them to there, but only about Magnus and Lydia listened to him, with that little smile while asking questions from time to time.

 

Once back home, he couldn't sleep at all.

Until now, Alec had been convinced that he had always made the right choices even if he had been, sometimes, forced to do them. He doubted it now. And even putting his existence in question was far from easy. A lot of if I had been braver, less lame, if I hadn't lied and so many thoughts without tails or heads filled every inch of his brain.

He blamed himself. He never should have agreed to let Magnus enter into his life, and none of them would have been this way.

He never should have shown as little with his father and nothing would have happened. Alec had always lived an easy life, free from want, always wanted to be a good son, a good big brother and he never would have thought that this selfishness would have made him wrong one day.

Did I make any right choices ? he pondered to himself while looking at the ceiling. And based on what ? His material comfort and his siblings'.

Sadly, Alec knew he didn't because a scared coward couldn't really think by himself. A scared coward always needed the opinion or orders from others to move forward, if only putting one foot in front of the other. Especially when he thought that a contract could dictate his life and the same scared coward would let himself being manipulated just to please his father.

He would only have wanted to have the opportunity to refuse without constraints. Especially when he was an invisible boy and less brilliant in every way compared to his younger siblings. Alec had always been mediocre, as often said Robert, and everyone else was better than him. Even Jace was a better Lightwood then he would ever be.

Alec had stupidly thought that it was a way to show the interest that his father had for him, because obviously he wasn't the best candidate to succeed him but surprisingly he still had been chosen.

The fate of his siblings could depend on Robert and his good-will, but everything revolved around Alec who could be a black hole and suck everything in his nothingness.

Alec had always thought that he would end up alone if he didn't have a family, It could explain his single bed and his life that revolved around his family. The family was always supposed to be there in the worst moments, and although it was not the case all the time, that thought had always comforted in his misfortunes.

Until now.

The trap had closed and he didn't even dare to think of what Izzy and Jace would think, let alone Max. Things couldn't get worse. Maybe Alec wouldn't have a family anymore.

*

The wait of reactions was killing him.

Magnus didn't answer his calls or messages as if he was no longer part of his life and sadly it was true. Magnus didn't want him anymore in his life anymore otherwise why wouldn't he answer? Alec didn't even know how to justify himself, he just wanted to talk to him.

Nobody called him, not even Izzy and Jace, or even Catarina for butchering him. Magnus hadn't said anything and Alec was secretly relieved. He didn't know how Izzy and Jace would react to Lydia and his justifications would lead to the contracts, Max was already approaching them dangerously...

Alec felt as if he had a time bomb stuck to him that would soon explode. He wasn't ready to accept the consequences.

The more he thought about Magnus the more it hurt.

Accounting proved to be effective and diverted him from his personal concerns, who would have thought that the numbers would be a cure from thinking about Magnus?

During his lunch break, Alec tried to join Max and thought that he would be ignored by him too in the beginning.

''I'm at school,'' growled the latter as a way of greeting. ''I was waiting for your call,'' he added sarcastically.

Alec swallowed with difficulty.

''Why didn't you tell me anything?'' got mad Max. ''A fiancée ? I thought it was a joke until I see that Mom wasn't kidding at all. Why did you agree when you have Magnus!''

''Had,'' Alec corrected automatically.

''What?''

''It's over, he learned about it recently... ''

From Donovan, he thought bitterly.

Max's silence was eloquent. ''Because he didn't know?'' asked his little brother in a shrill voice. ''Alec !''

''I know,'' was just what he could answer. ''Don't tell Izzy and Jace please.''

''As you didn't want me to know ? Alec what's wrong ? What's going on for you to be engaged ?''

Alec ran his hand through his hair. ''I...well listen Max...''

''If you don't tell me I'll never speak to you ever again,'' threatened him his little brother.

Alec who was leaning against the wall straightened up with a bound. ''What ?''

''Anyway you won't tell me anything even if I am trying to help,'' muttered Max. ''You never say anything, '' he said before hanging up.

Dumbfounded, Alec looked at his phone with dismay, that was all he needed.

''Fuck,'' he muttered while throwing his head back.

He knew he would suffer the same fate with the others, it was only a matter of time. And he never had wanted to stop time so much.

Max completely ignored him and could compete easily with Magnus. Alec stopped running after them after a while, tired of moping and going after them. He got the message loud and clear after a few days.

Catarina's friendly meal arrived and he knew that the fateful moment had arrived. Alec was thinking very seriously about turning off his phone, he retrieved it on the couch and was about to turn it off when the name of Lydia appeared on the screen.

''Hello?''

''What about a pizza at my place ? Unless you have something planned ?''

Alec couldn't repress a sigh of relief. ''I'm coming, you want me to bring something? ''

''Alcohol, no matter the kind,'' she said before hanging up.

Alec went out with a bottle of apple juice after knowingly leaving his phone behind.

''You drink too much those days,'' he defended himself when he saw the face she made when she examined the bottle.

Ltdia was only wearing a tank top and leggings with fancy patterns, wearing her home look with no makeup. There were a lot of pizzas already there.

''I eat a lot when I'm stressed, '' she explained before sitting down on a cushion.

Alec did the same and rolled up his sleeves. Lydia smiled when she saw his tattoos and handed him a knife. He did his best to cut the pizza into equal parts but failed and she grabbed the biggest slice with a smirk.

They ate in silence and Alec was pleased to see Lydia drink his apple juice.

''Do you miss him? '' she softly asked.

Surprised, Alec froze and looked at his fingers covered with tomato sauce. He did his best to look normal though.

Lydia chewed carefully what she had in her mouth.

''How did this happen? '' she sighed with a frown and looking at her slice of pizza as if it knew the answer.

''My cowardice and my selfishness.''

Lydia looked up at him, looking worried. ''We are two in this case. Two rich kids who are too afraid of the real world and do whatever their parents want...''

Their eyes met.

''What does it cost you to tell your father that you have someone ? And you love him ? I can't do it because I have no one to motivate me to go against my parents.''

''Had someone and I can't.''

''Why?''

She looked at him with wonder as if she was asking him if there was a valid reason for all this mess.

''What are you afraid of ?'' she insisted.

''From the beginning I knew that I had no right to...and yet I wanted to be with Magnus. And Robert had suspected something...you're a sanction. His last attempt to get me back on the right path. For him, _homosexuality_ and _son_ don't go well together.''

Alec didn't tell her that it was Clary and Jace's couple who had slightly rushed things, why bother ?

''Everything sucks,'' she whispered. ''And I'm so far from complaining...I'm from a good family, rich, a future all mapped out in the family business as a heir, I have everything and yet... we aren't happy you and me, and this is not only because of our engagement...I may have been spoiled, '' she realized with an anxious frown.

Alec was silently staring at her, unable to say something.

''Does Max hate me?'' she asked suddenly.

''Why would he hate you?''

''Because I'm your fiancée and I'm kind of responsible for what happened with Magnus. Just because I'm your fiancée...I was so happy the other day to meet him and the way he looked at me when he learned that we were engaged ! It was as if I was the bad guy in a Disney movie. Izzy and Jace must hate me too... You always told me how fun they were and, well, I was looking forward to meet them one day when, you know, we would have our anti-engagement plan... And I'm not talking about Magnus, he seems interesting and I destroyed everything...''

Alec bit his lip. ''If it makes you feel better, Izzy and Jace don't know yet. ''

Lydia glanced up and frowned. ''They don't know about our engagement, why do they don't?''

''Because no one told them.''

''What do you mean?''

''Communication is not a strong point among the Lightwoods but they should be aware of everything by now,'' he said looking up at his watch.

Lydia stared at him intensely before bringing her cushion next to his, hopping on the backside.

''You've always been close to your siblings Alec so... why they don't know about this engagement?''

''Because nobody told them,'' he repeated, wondering where she was heading.

She frowned. '' I can understand Magnus although I think you were wrong to not tell him and that he would have understood but why not them?''

It would have led to the contracts and Robert didn't want anyone to know, he thought.

''Alec?''

''Did you see Max's reaction?''

''That's because you said nothing to him, so? ''

Seeing that Alec didn't intend to answer she sighed. ''Things might have been different if you had trust them, I truly believe it... I pity your Magnus, you chose me implicitly compared to him and I know I can't be compared to him.''

''I know,'' he said. ''I mean, that things could have been different.''

Lydia nodded. ''Why this engagement Alec, just because your parents want it or there're other issues?''

''What about you? '' he retorted defensively.

''I asked you first. ''

Alec felt like he was dealing with Max, he mechanically raised his head to look at the time, on the dial on the wall, despite wearing a watch. His phone must have been ringing by now, bombarded with texts and calls from Catarina, Clary, Izzy, and Jace, who cursed him.

Seeing no reaction from Alec, Lydia preferred to provoke him. ''If there's indeed something which everybody should blame you with Alec, it's that you don't trust anyone and you lied.''

Alec gritted his teeth and immediately looked down.

''I have an acute hearing,'' she whispered. ''The last time I saw your father, he said only for you to hear that the contract was a very good idea. What was he speaking about?''

Alec stared up at her, mortified.

''Alec?'' she said while waving her hand.

''You heard wrong,'' he said in a tone he tried to make convincing.

''I am a future lawyer Alec Lightwood and a friend so spill it and quickly.''

Alec gave her an annoyed look and remained immured in his silence.

''It's a secret? ''

Seeing that he still didn't intend to admit anything, she pinched his arm making him wince.

''Do you want to lose my friendship too? Tell me everything, I want to help you, it's for you own good!''

With mixed feelings, Alec gave her a dubious look. She already knew and was just threatening him. He wanted to show her what he had never shown to anyone but she really wasn't the person he would have first thought of, if he had to talk about his contracts.

''I'll show you, '' he murmured, standing quickly.

When Lydia followed him to the entrance with a suspicious look, as if to prevent his escape, Alec smiled.

''It's in my vest.''

Since Max had come to him and Alec had been absent, the contracts hadn't left his pocket. He winced when he saw the state they were in when he pulled them out. The first, already wrinkled and patched up, was painful to see, for the second it took water from nowhere. Alec didn't even remember if it had rained or if his vest had been in contact with water recently. He nervously gave them to Lydia who seized it greedily.

Seeing her looking at them, Alec thought with regret about Max who had so wanted to get hold of it whereas he had given it as simply as that to Lydia, a foreigner not so long ago.

Lydia had sat down on her cushion and frowned when her eyes fell on the title of the first contract. She scanned it quickly, looking even more puzzled when she arrived at the end and read it again and again, before tackling the second.

Alec had never been so nervous, maybe he had been, but anxiety gnawed him from the inside this time at the idea that someone knew. And he had to admit that he was afraid of her reaction.

''Only your father signed, '' she noticed in a deep voice.

''My mother knows he said. ''

Lydia looked up at him, scanned him lengthily while crumpling the papers she was holding and then threw them away. Alec watched the two papers balls' race that bounced against a wall and saw them complete their roll on the ground.

''That's nonsense, there're no words to describe it apart from rude words. And even if it has the form of a contract it isn't worth anything, a dog turd is even more valuable than this thing Alec... it's not worth anything legally,'' she announced while narrowing her eyes.

Alec gritted teeth. '' I know, '' he said, stooping to pick them up.

Lydia who had just buried her head in her hands, gently lowered her hands and looked up at him with astonishment.

''You know ? Well, you don't obviously because why would you have let him manipulate you then?'' she asked incredulously.

''Because he wanted me to let him manipulate me,'' he retorted while smoothing the sheets one by one.

Lydia huffed. ''Oh my God, the problem is more deep than I thought...,'' she muttered.

''Did you read everything?''

''I did.''

''He's able to do everything that is written and I don't want it.''

''I need a drink, '' she stated as if she was in need and went into the kitchen as soon as possible.

She came back with a bottle of vodka that she mixed up in her apple juice.

''I understand, I mean, we're talking about your younger siblings and they live a comfortable life since birth but...you...Idris, your life, you wanted it this way ? This is monstrous Alec, I would never have imagined that a father could do that to his child ! I mean he is far from being happy about your sexual orientation, but it sucks so much !''

''That's blackmail,'' he admitted. ''That's how he makes sure I do whatever he asks me, even if people know my homosexuality and that now you know about it... ''

''What would people think of Robert Lightwood ? That could explain why he doesn't want anyone to know, I almost want to tell my parents about it...''

''Don't.''

They stared at each other and Lydia bit her lip.

''I'll do something about our engagement don't worry, you won't have to do anything and nobody will know,'' she declared. ''And Robert won't be able to say that it's your fault...I have trouble believing it, but strangely I'm not surprised,'' she whispered with difficulty.

Reassured that Lydia had promised him that she would be as silent as a grave, Alec decided to go home. He didn't like the way she was looking at him now that she knew everything and felt guilty concerning Magnus, his siblings and especially Robert. He had just broken another term, and yet he was slightly relieved.

When he was about to cross the door Lydia stopped him, looking worried.

''But...you mean you really tried to not be gay then?''

''Um...yeah... I tried. ''

Lydia's eyes widened. ''You really tried?'' she squealed. ''How did you end up with Magnus then?''

''Let's say he knew how to stir my curiosity, '' he answered with a sad smile before leaving.

 

His phone had no battery and Alec refused to plug it in, apprehension echoed dully in his stomach. He had gone at Lydia's place to change his ideas and in the end had finally came clean. His anxiety was getting from bad to worse.

At the very moment he had decided to connect his phone, after pondering that he was worrying over nothing and noticing that he had received no message, someone banged on his door. It was Izzy's way to knock and then, more abrupt and deaf noises notified him of Jace's presence. Only him could knock with his feet.

The hour of judgment had arrived.

Alec opened the door sheepishly, and was relieved to see Izzy and Jace and not surprise guests.

''I know,'' he whispered seeing their furious faces.

''You're so fucked Alec,'' said Jace gravely, jostling him to come in.

''Who's that bitch? Magnus refused to say anything about it and Catarina has even threatened to torture him to confess everything.''

He still had confessed something and Alec didn't resent him, the opposite would have been surprising.

''And Ragnor said he would on you,'' Jase let him know, while sprawling on the sofa.

''We've never seen him like that Alec, you've screwed up serious and I can tell that you're no longer welcome.''

Alec looked down. He could tell too.

''He's not well? '' he asked stupidly with worry.

Izzy rolled his eyes and closed the door behind her. ''What do you think?'' she asked curtly before joining Jace on the couch.

Alec found himself standing alone and the subject of withering glances of anger.

''Let's talk about your girlfriend,'' said Jace. ''And Robert for that matter, how it happened, why you didn't refuse, why you didn't tell us anything, '' he blurted in a voice too quiet for his state of extreme anger.

''I'm the oldest and he has high expectations for me, that's all. ''

''I've never seen someone so emotionally constipated, '' growled Jace throwing his head back. ''We want to help you so explain !''

''He didn't tell Max anything, he won't with us either,'' Izzy sighed, turning to Jace. ''What are you afraid of Alec ?'' She asked, narrowing her eyes. ''I thought you really liked Magnus, we all thought you did.''

''Not enough apparently,'' Jace smirked. ''And to think I wanted to protect you from Magnus, it was more from you I should have protected him,'' he lamented while standing up. ''Let's go back Izzy, you know he's a grave whenever he wants, instead I'll ask Robert about it.''

Alex kept his eyes fixed on the ground, fists clenched.

''Clary and Catarina want to find someone a little better for Magnus,'' said Jace pulling Izzy by her arm.

Alec looked up, slightly frowning.

''When you'll finally trust us and tell us what's going on, we will be here,'' said Izzy opening the front door. ''But there's still the fact that you broke a friend's heart. ''

''And it sucks, '' Jace said shaking his head before closing the door with a snap.

 _What about mine ?_ Alec thought while standing in the entrance long after they were gone.

Everyone resented him and it was legitimate. He would never have thought it would have led to this situation where even Izzy, Max and Jace would turn his back to him. But again, he should only blame himself.

While wanting to protect everyone, Alec had forgotten to protect himself.

It was much later in bed that he realized what Jace had meant by talking to Robert but about what ? He couldn't go back to sleep, the heart madly pounding from anxiety. It wasn't the heartbreaking pain which would kill him but anxiety.

 

Magnus went out a lot or not at all, it depended of his mood, as Jace texted him to make him understand that Magnus would find someone else, it was only a matter of time and that he really had screwed up.

Alec, and by means of those texts, started to believe him.

Magnus, with his beauty and personality could have anyone he wanted. And Alec didn't like it. He missed him in dull and painful way. It had been weeks since they had spoken to each others and Alec became aware of many things. Like how Magnus had managed to fill the void inside him, without him, this void was back again and even evolved into a bottomless pit of unspeakable darkness.

Just as it was before, but now worse.

Life went on without him and Alec knew it wouldn't be as before, much less that he would forgive him. He didn't even dare to think of ways to win him back, he didn't have the ambition and his arrogance had already played him a dirty trick.

He resigned, defeatist as he was and waited for the wrath lightning from Robert to come upon him at any moment. He paid enough of the price with everyone: Magnus, Izzy, Jace, Clary, Simon, Ragnor, Catarina and Max, who hadn't been at his place since a very long time.

When Alec had signed the contracts, he was far from imagining his life this way.

He had lost the concept of time. It was strange. Perhaps this empty feeling that never left him and filled every inch of himself, was holding him up. Never had everything been so slow, as if time wanted to accentuate the pain he felt. Apart from having the sensation of an abyss inside him where the walls were made of pain, Alec wasn't really sure to feel anything else. It was as if he was under a painful anesthesia.

He had never wanted so much to be reincarnated as a hedgehog, an otter or a turtle. It was too painful to be a human being.

But deep down, Alec wanted to change. At twenty-three years old, it was time to finally take his life in hands but he was too afraid. The original contract had been a way to foolishly ensure the happiness of his family. His father and mother were happy and his siblings too, it was a way like no other to satisfy everyone.

It was Magnus who had shattered everything and gradually had turned him away from each condition, previously Alec had no trouble following them at face value.

 

One evening as he tried to distract himself from his bleak and depressing thoughts by reading one of his favorite books, someone knocked at his door. Alec looked up warily and waited for the blows to begin again.

He didn't know them and it worried him. It was probably a neighbor, which would be really strange because none of his neighbors were the very kind neighbors. And he was suddenly afraid that it would be Clary, Catarina or even Ragnor who visited him over Magnus to tell him again how he had screwed up with him.

It didn't happen, Alec opened the door and a resigned ' _oh_ ' surprised escaped him seeing his mother on his landing. It would have been relieving if it wasn't suspicious.

''So, you've been making a nuisance of yourself recently in Idris your father told me, did you miss the photocopier so much? '' she sighed coming in while watching him from the corner of her eyes.

Alec closed the door, wincing, he was in no mood to even withstand criticism, and usually Maryse didn't intervene, which meant Robert was too busy.

''You didn't have to force yourself to come here, a call would have been enough,'' he grumbled,  joining her next to the couch.

From the way she was exploring his apartment, Alec suddenly wondered if his mother had ever been at his place before. Apparently no when she frowned at the sight of all his books on the floor.

''I would love a cup of tea,'' she whispered, sitting stiffly on the couch. ''This is where Max usually sleep?''

''Yes, I only have black tea from the supermarket.''

''It will be fine.''

While the water boiled, Alec quietly watched his mother who curiously grabbed the book on the coffee table. She seemed normal, maybe her medications were effective.

He brought her a cup and sat next to her but still maintained a safe distance.

''Your father didn't send me.''

Alec raised his eyebrows and turned slightly toward her, noticing that neither he nor his mother dared to look at each other with such a proximity, as if they were two foreigners who had been forced to sit on a couch together.

''What are you doing here then?''

Maryse licked her lips and raised her cup to drink. ''You let it infuse too much,'' she reprimanded him, pinched.

Alec looked away, annoyed.

''It is time for you to become courageous, '' she whispered. '' I can not do anything for you, your father is furious and Jace meant to do well.''

Alec blinked and his eyes widened. Then, they finally looked into each others' eyes.

''What are you talking about? '' he asked, afraid to hear the answer and wondering why his mother wasn't angry either.

Maryse took a sip of her tea and winced before glancing at him once again with her weary eyes

''Your father knows everything about you and Magnus Bane,'' she said with disgust. ''I never thought it would be Jace who would sell the wick by trying to cancel your engagement saying that you already had someone. ''

Alec gave her a panicked look and caught his breath automatically.

''What do you mean?''

Maryse raised an eyebrow. ''In your opinion what were his arguments?''

Alec perfectly knew and Robert now knew that Alec didn't respect the contracts at all because if Jace knew about Magnus, it meant that Izzy and Max knew too and it also meant that they knew about his homosexuality. He nervously pressed his fingers together and suddenly looked up at his mother.

''Why do you hide your anger?''

Maryse frowned. ''I'm not angry I already knew about you and him.''

''You knew? '' he asked with a small voice.

She snorted. ''I don't care that you're gay Alexander but not him, not Magnus Bane. He is nothing and he's from Indonesia,'' she hissed. ''He also had refused to invest in Idris three months ago.''

Alec stared at his hands in confusion. Wasn't his mother supposed to be as homophobic as his father? And Magnus himself was the problem, not the fact that it was a man.

''Why didn't you tell Robert then? And how do you know?''

Her mother ignored his first question.

''You were not discreet, I saw you once in a Georgian restaurant with him and the way he was looking at you... Needless to say what I saw afterward,'' she stated with a frown. ''And that Donovan, you know this boy you hit in high school ? He recently handed in his surveillance reports. Your father then came to ask me to summarize everything as I had a lot of time in my hands.''

Again this Donovan, Alec thought while greeting his teeth. He hadn't noticed anything though, maybe this guy was very good at his job.

''He is no longer working for us, he resigned after Jace had broken his nose and jaw because he snitched on you, and it is just not done... I heard he was responsible in some way for your break-up with Magnus Bane, for once he did a great job. ''

Alec couldn't restrain a smile thinking about Jace, which colored with sadness when she reminded him his break-up with Magnus.

''Why didn't Robert know? Why didn't you say anything? I broke the contract, you should have done something to punish me or..., '' he trailed off unable to carry on.

Maryse huffed and abruptly put her cup down on the coffee table. ''Let's talk about these contracts. Your father told me about an agreement between father and son to make you his heir, I would have never imagined it like this. I should have guessed your father always saw things in big..., '' she hissed with a disdainful pout.

''You mean you didn't know before? ''

''No, that's how I learned you were gay.''

''And since when you know everything? ''

''It intrigued me that Max was searching for something in your father's office, I was faster than him.''

That could explain why his brother had never found anything.

''Why did you not say anything or do anything? '' he asked suddenly. ''You don't seem to agree with all those conditions, right? As Lydia or...''

Maryse's eyes widened. ''I prefer Lydia to Magnus Bane although she is not a man and I could ask you the same thing ! Why did you let your father manipulate you? Why did you never say what you want? What you really want Alexander ! You have accepted everything ! What do you want me to say? You were always like that...even with your little sister. When Izzy wanted to play with one of your favorite toys you gave it to her even if you knew she would break it straight away... You have no self-esteem,'' she lamented. ''Always doing what your father or me wanted without emitting once what you really wanted.''

Alec's throat tightened and he immediately looked down.

''Alec,'' she said reaching out to him and then gave up immediately and laid her hand on her own lap. ''In order for you to be a good son, you should have had good parents and this is not the case. Can't you see it? Your father crushes you with his constraints and manipulates you and your mother perfectly knows everything and let him do whatever he wants. And yet, you still did whatever you could to fulfill our expectations...until this guy.''

''Why are you telling me all this?'' he dryly asked.

''It would be about time to be brave don't you think ? Robert knows everything now. And I don't understand how or why nobody knows for these contracts.''

''It's written in black and white that he doesn't want anyone to know.''

''Stop protecting your father, it won't make him like you more,'' she blurted out dryly.

Alec did the best to not seem disturbed by what his mother had said.

''And you honestly think he will carry out his threats? Well, I grant you he can be very credible with his threats but still. ''

''I know you don't care at all about your children being disinherited but not me, I don't want it... ''

''Alexander,'' she firmly cut him off. ''We're talking about Robert Lightwood here, if he had really wanted to disinherit Jace and Izzy he would have done it long ago. And let me tell you a secret: he always wanted a daughter and Jace was the son of his best friend, plus he still thinks that Max is a baby. I don't think he would want to be hated more than he is by them, whereas you, you still like him just because he's your father and he thinks it is acquired.''

His mother hadn't included Alec and even though it hurt, he wasn't really surprised. By being gay, his father still considered him as his son, but had only used him as a tool. And Alec let it happen, hoping that it would change someday.

He had always known that Robert showed himself strangely lenient toward Izzy and Jace despite their irresponsible behavior that he hated.

He gave his mother a piercing look.

''Why are you telling me all this?''

''You're as curious as Max and I know you've found something in my room the other day.''

She knew, his irritation vanished immediately when he thought about her depression.

''I'm sorry, '' he suddenly blurted out.

''I thought it was your brother at first but it's been a long since he rummaged through my stuff. ''

''Since when do you take them?'' Alec asked.

''Not so long but it's been a long time since I started suffering from depression, I was in the most total denial until I decide to be cured... I realized some things when I was steady, which currently I am... and I want you to show me what you can do and I will show you what a depressive mother can do.''

Alec threw at her a confused look which made her stiffen.

''You're not the only one to have tolerated a lot of things, we're more alike than you think, '' she said sipping at her tea which had turned cold.

''What do you mean? '' Alec asked with concern and he couldn't help to slightly move closer as to recover a secret.

''Why did you respect these contracts Alexander ? It's the same for me. I thought about my marriage, Max who's only thirteen and about me. You, you thought about your siblings and about you. You and me, we thought about our comfortable life and of a way to keep it gathered with a family that is no longer one.''

Alec slightly frowned, unable to say anything and waiting for her to continue.

''I would like to be you and send everything flying but I can't whereas you... I know very well that you never wanted Idris, you have nothing to lose whereas your father does. If he disinherits your siblings he will lose the only person who continues to love him foolishly,'' she sighed while staring at him. ''And vice versa. He would end up alone...unless his Annamarie keeps him company.''

Alec wanted to ask her where she would be but he didn't really want to hear the answer.

''Annamarie?''

''Annamarie Highsmith, he's been seeing her for a while now. She is younger and I'm not sure the others will still have a good opinion of him because a Robert Lightwood without his family is just not done.''

Alec wondered if Max knew.

''What makes you think that I can whereas you can't?''

Maryse snorted. ''Divorce occupies my thoughts everyday but I will lose everything and Max. I won't have custody of your little brother, your father is able to use my depression against me at the trial. I won't take the risk.''

''He knows?''

''Of course he knows, he's the one who made me depressive.''

A heavy silence settled and Alec slowly stood up.

''Basically, you ask me to do what you can't? And to say you mentioned bravery...''

''You have nothing to lose, your father won't have anything left if not his wealth. He used what was precious to you and you let that happens because you were scared... You are young and clever, if you were disinherit overnight you will be able to start over, it's time to think about you,'' she said, shaking her head.

She rose and walked to the front door.

''Does he resent you for having concealed what seemed obvious?'' he shyly asked.

''I lie very well,'' she simply answered while readjusting her luxurious coat.

''Did you sign a prenuptial agreement?''

''No.''

''You won't be bereft in this case if you hire a good lawyer. Demand half of his fortune for all these years, his infidelity and for your depression. Besides, Max would choose you no matter what happens.''

Maryse blinked, looking slightly awkward for a moment before recovering a straight face, and opened the door.

''Max went to Izzy's place for a few days, mostly because your father and I, we argue a lot lately.''

Alec nodded not without feeling a twinge. If he hadn't tried to protect his father unconsciously by his silence, Max would have slept at his place and in his couch.

''I don't understand why you tried to be a good son when you already are a good son,'' his mother awkwardly said, averting her eyes and closing hastily the door behind her.

*

Later, Alec jerked awake, was awakened by a bad dream which he couldn't remember at all.

He couldn't go back to sleep either and thought about his mother and what she hoped him to do, as an experience, and to confirm that if he could do it she could too, but the truth was that Alec was too scared. He wanted to believe her but at the same time he felt betrayed by the simple fact that his father never had the intention of really doing whatever he had threatened him to do. Just to have Alec under his control and to ensure that he would obey blindly.

Alec really felt as if he had been stupidly manipulated for nothing.

He knew it was his own fault for having shown his weak side and he was grateful toward his mother who hadn't behaved as such for a long time. For once, he could tell that she had behaved like a mother.

He didn't know if his mother had covered for him but Robert had still not contacted him to tell him off.

Yet, the confrontation would be inevitable, it could even be held in Idris in a few hours.

Maybe he would put the feet there one last time and it would be a good ending: was it not because of Idris that the blackmail had begun ?

But before going to work, Alec had to go somewhere in particular. He was thinking about it for a while now and he finally decided on going after gathering enough courage.

Magnus still hadn't contact him to retrieve his keys or for Alec to retrieve his stuff and it was living him in an expectation of a signal which would destroy any hope of getting back together one day.

The idea of losing the esteem of Magnus gnawed Alec who wanted to fix it. It was almost vital.

Although Magnus didn't wish to forgive him, Alec wanted him to understand.

Hoping he will eventually forgive him a little.

That was why he used Magnus' key one last time to enter the building where he lived, but Alec had no intention to go upstairs, he didn't dare. Because it had already taken him a lot of courage to come here and for what he intended to do. With a feverish heart, he took the two contracts crumpled, damaged and patched from his pocket and slipped them into the slot of the mailbox before slipping the keys inside, unconfident as he was about their relationship's state.

He remained standing there a long time, starting to regret his actions. To be up again in the esteem of Magnus was the only thing that mattered and yet he wondered belatedly if it wasn't going to destroy him while aggravating things as to enforce the disdain Magnus could feel toward him. Nothing would prevent the latter to say everything to Izzy and Jace or to shout it from the rooftops, and Alec didn't want that.

It was his inability to trust and to confide in him, his worries that led them to this situation and Alec wanted to fix this by putting everything in a mailbox. He didn't become courageous overnight, it was still a process.

But it wasn't as if things could get worse, Alec had hit the bottom and had only one desire: to get back to the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It could end this way don't you think? On this end full of hope letting everyone's imagination do the rest...
> 
> End of the truth will always win out, so yeah this part 2 is well...my sister kindly said it was a boring chapter and it may be true but necessary for what will follow ! 
> 
> What do you think of Maryse or Lydia ? Tell me I want to know ! :)  
> (In chap 8 comments someone called Reader wanted Lydia to find out everything, here we are and you were right !) ;)
> 
> Someone asked me for more misery (ghasedakx6 you always do in your comments !) This chapter is certainly not what you expected right? I hope you forgive me as Alec hopes from Magnus ! 
> 
> I'm sorry if some of you got tired of the cat and mouse game it was unintentional and I didn't want you to feel weary SO thank you very much for your patience! You have willpower and that is good, especially for me ! 
> 
> Next chapter: the Moon finally shines, next Monday  ! :) 
> 
> *cliché voice to appeal the readers to read my next chapter*  
> ''After what his mother said will Alec gather enough courage and face Robert ? How Magnus will react ? Will Magnus ever forgive him ? Will Alec finally man up as the readers want ?''  
> *high-pitched and excited voice *  
> ''Stay tuned !''  
> *glittery wink*  
> (I hope you didn't run away !) 
> 
> P.S.: Reality caught me back too and I have to do an internship, I'll be pretty busy with life -for once, not that I wasn't before but not really- anyway I will do my very best to update as promised on Monday but shit can happen so fiddle dee dee and let's see ! 
> 
> P.P.S.: Thanks for all of your comments and kudos, they made me squeal and clap my hands as the human-seal that I am, charming isn't it ?  
> Feel free to tell me your thoughts or what you are expecting in the next chapter, and if you have nothing to say but still want to leave a comment saying banana or potato you're more than welcome ! :)
> 
> P.P.P.S.: Did you read all of this end note? If you did you can have a virtual hug full of virtual love and virtual glitter, now look at you, you're a virtual disco ball !  
> Have a nice week while I'm doing my internship in order to 'adult' ! 
> 
> Thanks caz. as usual ! :)


	13. The Moon finally shines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm two days late and I sincerely apologize because I hate being late ! Thanks caz. you were amazingly quick !

The more Alec moved forwards, the more he slowed down, much like a child who didn't want to go to school. It was the same, he didn't want to work and even less to see his father who was impatiently waiting for him.

He ran a nervous hand through his hair, thinking about what he had done earlier and hoped that Magnus wouldn't continue to ignore him. Alec didn't even know if he regularly checked his mail. The opposite wouldn't even surprise him, but he would be clearly at a disadvantage if he were to wait indefinitely for Magnus to open his mailbox.

Alec felt stupid and regretted more and more what he had just done and yet, he was secretly relieved.

For a few days, the trainee who had been working at the photocopier had returned forgetting that she was now, instead of Alec, in the accounting department, Alec wasn't surprised to see her and to see her awkward smile for her almost daily mistake.

''Sorry,'' she whispered, gently closing the door to make him understand that she wasn't mocking him.

The only thing that Alec regretted was that he had time to mope about his situation, something that didn't much happen in accounting but it had still cost him his place when he had made a big mistake of manipulation. Robert, who had thought he had done it on purpose, demoted him to the delight of his former colleague who could now see the pretty trainee.

He was on edge. As if he was a big ball of nerves, stressed as he was. He was pretty sure that his father's secretary would be soon looking for him. The advantage was that Alec was no longer working on the third floor but the ground floor, so it would take longer to find him.

Alec didn't even prepare his defense as he was guilty, to save time and to find valid reasons in breaching of his obligations, he could reuse his mother's arguments. Except that he knew he would be unable to re-employ them with confidence and would make a fool of himself, it would also simply accentuate the disdainful pout of Robert.

Alec didn't even resent Jace for wanting to help him without knowing that he had condemned him or maybe not, as Maryse said. It had also been a while since Jace had sent him texts to taunt him about Magnus. And Alec didn't complain as Jace had kept talking to him just to annoy him or to make him jealous.

He scanned the sheets laid there and put them away absently through piles and service until his gaze fell on his father.

Robert Lightwood, hands in his pockets and with bloodshot eyes, looked at him with contempt and hardness. Alec couldn't look away, but it didn't prevent him to curl slightly up. The hour of judgment has come, he thought, while panicking when he saw his father moving slowly and nonchalantly towards him.

Alec sincerely thought his father would hit him and grab him by the neck, so he instinctively pulled back, but the latter did nothing and only waved his phone under his nose. Alec's gaze went to the phone to his father's angry face apprehensively.

Robert expression hardened and set off his voicemail. Alec immediately recognized Jace's voice.

''Hi Robert, it's Jace. It's been a while...hum...with Izzy we learned about this girl and the engagement and well I think you can guess what's our opinion about that. Alec is unable to think about himself and...by himself and he's a little submissive, so let me say clearly that you can't decide about this for him. Being homophobic is not an excuse and Alec is gay so deal with it. We're in the 21st century, and you behave like a retard,'' Alec clearly heard a surprised noise, Izzy's one and a yelp from Jace. She must have hit him... ''Besides, Alec has...um...had someone named Magnus Bane, who hates you pretty much so think about our brother a little and make things easier for him by canceling his engagement. As I said, he's not straight so what's the point ? That's it...and thanks for the paint, Clary gave it to her mother, and she loved it. And bye,'' Jace had hastened to say before hanging up.

Jace had seemed more confident over the phone even if his voice had been unsteady several times during the message. He clearly tried to help him not knowing what he had done. It was so like him. Meeting his father blue gaze, Alec began to believe that there was some truth in what his mother had told him, otherwise why Robert would play a double game by offering a paint to Clary? He didn't see her relationship with Jace in a positive light.

''Do you want to hear it again?'' asked coldly his father in an angry voice still waving the phone under his nose.

Alec looked down and finally wondered if his mother was right or not. He would disinherit them all, he felt it.

''It's pretty ironic that Jace is the one who have denounced you, don't you think?'' he smirked. ''You have violated several terms of our agreements...especially the _'I mustn't be gay', 'nobody has to know' !_  You're dumber than I thought and unable to respect what you signed ! What surprises me the most is that Magnus Bane wanted you. What person with any common sense would want to associate with you ? How could you betray me with this man ?’’  he hissed. 

Right, thought Alec, he was so stupid, so stupid that he had been unable to give Magnus the importance he deserved. He shouldn't have associated himself with Magnus from the beginning to avoid hurting him. If Alec had been more courageous he would have said to his father: _''Sorry, he was too handsome I couldn't resist.''_ ' But he was not.

''But you're no longer with him, Jace used the past tense to describe this...misdemeanor. He has more common sense than I thought all in all... I can't believe he’s...that with men too he...''

''He has always been bisexual,'' Alec finally whispered, eyes still down. ''You only saw what you wanted to see.''

''He could have have so much better than you! How has he been able to look at you for a moment?''

It happened somehow, Alec thought.

His father still uttered degrading remarks, which made regret Alec to be born, until losing breath.

''It's over, right ?'' he suddenly asked in a growl.

''You can hear his message once again if you want to be sure.''

This time, Robert grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, dropping his phone on the floor that he crushed with a violent heel kick.

Alec wondered for a moment if he was going to end like this.

''We will act as if nothing happened, alright?'' he whispered menacingly. ''Jace said nothing, I am aware of nothing and your mother even less... You have the right to one last chance, the last, and you will marry Lydia and quickly for in order to be _normal_. Then, you will respect whatever was agreed between you and me, and all will be well ! This is your last chance Alexander, or I swear you'll pay for it, and you know very well what it means,'' he spat letting him go.

Alec could still feel his grip suffocating him. He only looked up once his father disappeared.

One last chance, Robert had already given him one before, and normally, Alec would have been happy and even relieved but this time he didn't want it. Not even if his father threatened him by using his siblings and not even if he doubted that his mother was right, a part of him still wanted to believe her, but he couldn't help being wary.

Alec was just tired to feel anxious and suffer from a father who constantly rejected him. It was time to also reject him, but his unconfidence and his siblings were still holding him back.

*

He had stopped regularly looking at his phone since nobody text him back, but now that he had put the contracts in Magnus' mailbox he checked it more than necessary but still received nothing. Either Magnus had still not checked his mail -by now it was worrying- or it didn't change anything for him, and Alec had only to blame himself for being too late.

His relationship with Maryse had not changed at all despite their last exchange. Nothing had changed except that the last chance had turned into an intensive monitoring. Alec was followed wherever he went, in an oppressive and unrelenting way.

If he didn't get out much before, he now remained cloistered at home, and Lydia came from time to time to visit him when she could. To joke, she told him that the ones before, even if they were amateurs, knew how to be more discreet, especially Donovan. Then, they realized that their 'spies' were purposely letting them see them to put more pressure on their poor soul and to make Alec understand that nothing would escape Robert. _It is a little late for this masquerade,_ Lydia had said.

The first time Lydia came, after a paranoia crisis at the idea that they were hunted like little rabbits, something for which Alec had apologized profusely, she had searched through his whole apartment in search of cameras or microphones, like in movies.

They found nothing and Alec couldn't help but wonder what his father hoped to find by tracking him. Everything seemed to be over with Magnus and Alec didn't intend to find someone else. He couldn't even think about it, he didn't dare.

Lydia looked at his library with wonder while drinking her glass of juice saying that it lacked vodka.

Alec gave her a weary look. ''I made you alcoholic.''

''I wonder how you didn't become one,'' she said, referring to Robert's _'she will make you normal'._

On the scale of homophobia, Lydia thought it was off the chart. Alec didn't even know that a scale of homophobia existed.

''My parents told me I had to make myself beautiful for next Friday. ''

''Next Friday? '' asked Alec absently watching his fruit juice glass not without remembering those that made him Magnus. Lydia snatched it from his hands.

''This dinner condemns us both since we’re both invited, as it is your dear father who arranged it for us to choose the wedding date, he is impatient that you become straight, and I intend to tell him that, as charming as I am, it won't be enough,'' she smirked.

Alec was too jaded to react, nothing surprised him anymore.

''And we're too young,'' she added in a more light tone.

''You have a plan? ''

''No, and I don't want to force me to find someone for the occasion and you either, you don't have to force yourself. We will improvise. ''

''It will be a disaster.''

''I can say that you deceived me?'' she suggested with a smile.

''You can even specify with Magnus if you want, '' added Alec making Lydia wince.

''Okay...not that then. What about a food fight...to show our parents how immature and unconscious we are?''

''My father already doesn't have a good opinion of me, '' he answered with a little smile. ''It could work.''

Seeing that Lydia was wracking her head, Alec tried to reassure her.

''We'll improvise.''

But he knew deep down that he had never been good at improvising, he never had this talent.

*

Still nothing. Alec could definitely make a cross on Magnus, who had probably and already found someone else.

Recently, Alec was too exhausted. His desire to cut himself from the world and to reincarnate grew stronger day by day. He wanted to run away, but this time far away from his father, who was watching his every move. Alec had no private life, he really didn't feel safe at home anymore where he took refuge there to get some peace.

He knew he had to cancel the engagement that evening but didn't know how. And he still didn't know how to stop everything. Alec automatically thought about Jace, Izzy, and Max. If his mother was right and that Robert disinherited them all, who would inherit Idris then ? None of them wanted it, except Alec who had kindly been forced to accept everything in their delight.

He was still unsure about many things, and it gnawed him. Lydia even said he had lost weight.

Alec was ready to have dinner with his future family in law -if he did nothing- but it didn't allow him to dress like a hillbilly, Jace would have said, and too simple and darkly, Magnus would have said.

He went on foot to the Palace the time to find a plan, because apparently saying _no_ wouldn't be enough. He looked behind himself and saw a big mustached guy who was following him hidden behind a vehicle. Alec thought about running to lose him, but the poor man was already struggling a lot to walk, making him wondering where his father found his spies.

Maybe this person wasn't a spy but just a banal passerby who was going in the same direction as him. His paranoia playing him tricks could be a possibility.

He reached his destination faster than expected and entered determined while saying to himself that tonight was the night.

Hoping that it wouldn't be otherwise.

Alec was convinced he had an appointment at 8:30 pm in the restaurant and obviously he had been wrong. The Branwells and his parents, already installed and enjoying appetizers, were glaring at him.

''Punctuality is random in your son,'' Mr. Branwell said in an amused tone whereas Alec met the weary look of Lydia, who smiled at him.

He clearly saw there an _'I don't know what your plan is but it started well.'_ He sat awkwardly between his parents and jumped when a waiter rushed over him to give him the menu.

''He'll take the same thing as everyone else,'' Robert said dryly.

Alec took a quick glance at his mother, who immediately looked away. She looked fine, apparently. He then noticed that neither one nor the other had done something since their conversation as if they were waiting for the other to act first to lead the way. It was the game of _who would go scout first ?_  And Alec began to think that he would soon have an edge simply by canceling his engagement.

And the Palace would be a nice place to end this engagement as it was where it all began after all.

''I heard that your children were bright and very inked in their time,'' said Mrs. Branwell with a telling smile.

''Jace and Izzy?'' smiled Robert. ''Yes they are! Jace is only a year younger than Alexander, and he is a musician, a virtuoso, and studies in a renowned conservatory.''

The Branwell shrugged their eyebrows and exchanged a smile.

''And Izzy is two years younger, she wants to create her own image consulting company when she'll finish university.''

''And Max?'' asked Maryse.

Alec leaned back in his chair in order to let Robert glare at his wife.

''Max is only thirteen, and if he continues to take the example on the wrong person, he will become a nobody,'' he hissed, darting a contemptuous look on Alec.

''So why is Alec the heir? '' Lydia asked, motioning the waiter to bring more wine.

The question was reflecting on Mr. and Mrs. Branwell's eyes who seemed to wonder the same thing but not for the same reasons. Alec didn't resent them. He knew how much he wasn't as interesting and lacked talent compared to his siblings.

''He is the oldest,'' said Robert, all smile disappeared. ''He is responsible and has a sense of duty. ''

''What about your other children?''

''Max is too young, and the others are too frivolous,'' chimed in Maryse.

''If nothing else then ?'' asked Lydia with an incredulous smile.

''Alexander didn't say no, '' said Robert, turning to his son.

Alec tired to remember if he had ever said no to his father. It had always been unthinkable. He caught Lydia's satre on him who gave him a look in which shone a spark of encouragement. Alec sat up in his chair and licked his lips.

''What If I say no now? '' he asked in a small voice.

He admitted that it was a poor attempt as it made Robert snorted. The latter turned to the couple that was facing him and who was smiling with amusement.

''He is quite immature for his age, he is not like that all the time don't worry.''

Now they all saw him as a capricious child.

Lydia's gaze shone more and sent him encouragement sparks.

He took a big breath and tried to control of his heart's beats which was beginning to panic at the thought of what he intended to do.

''I'm gay,'' he announced in a serious and firm voice worthy of a speaker.

The reactions were immediate. The waiter smiled politely while putting a bottle of a priceless wine on the table. The Branwell couple lost their smirk and now looked at him with dismay, Maryse whose look was glancing here and there without really seeing clearly turned her head toward him for the first time of the evening and looked astonished. Whereas Lydia couldn't restrain a little applause that vanished as fast as her smile when her parents glared at her. Robert was the only one who didn't react, frozen in his latest gesture: drinking his glass of wine. His arm slowly lowered his glass but fell forcefully on the table and broke the said glass.

''And my parents know it very well,'' said Alec.

Mrs. Branwell looked accusingly at his father.

''What is this all about ? Obviously, he doesn't like girls having said that...''

''He is not gay,'' interrupted Robert in a low voice.

''He just said he was,'' Mr. Branwell chimed in with a frown.

Maryse poured herself a large glass of wine and offered one nonchalantly to Alec, who refused with a wave of his hand.

''Because he doesn't want to marry her, he is immature,'' Robert hissed.

''It's because he's gay,'' said Lydia with a roll of her eyes. ''See ?'' she told her parents. ''That's why he and I, it is not possible!''

A heavy silence settled, occasionally interrupted by the whispers between the Branwell. Alec knew what his father was thinking behind his stoic and furious expression. Assuming that the engagement was broken off, who might make his son heterosexual or who would accept him as he was ?

Apparently nobody.

''Let's call it quits, '' Mr. Branwell finally announced with a rueful smile. ''What's the point? We will remain on good terms isn't it?''

Robert's fist clenched so tightly that Alec wondered if he wasn't going to break his fingers.

''Of course,'' said Maryse. ''Maybe it won't be long before we need you, I'd even say soon,'' she added lowly and wryly.

Lydia looked at Alec with a beatific smile which turned into a worried wince when she saw Robert's face.

''Come on Lydia, we have to go,'' said her mother.

Noticing that her daughter had no intention of leaving, she pulled her by the arm. Lydia sighed and followed her parents against her will but not without casting a last glance at Alec.

''Call me !'' she mouthed after waving at him with her hand before disappearing from his sight.

''I suppose there is no need to wait for our food ?'' asked Maryse before nonchalantly pulling out her credit card from her purse, breaking the heavy silence full of tensions that had settled.

In a single movement, Alec and his mother turned their heads to Robert, who was unusually quiet. Alec couldn't suppress a fearful wince, never had he seen his father this pale, with tight jaws, and so tightly that he wondered if his teeth weren't going to explode. His lips were pinched with rage and the wings of his nose were quivering. But it was his eyes which were scarier, anger had blackened them. He was literally fuming with anger which would soon explode like an erupting volcano.

When his eyes fell on Alec's face, the latter winced.

''I see that nothing worked, and you persist in acting like a fool,'' Robert rasped coldly. ''I will disinherit them right now,'' he said, getting up quickly and leaving the table with big strides.

Feeling a cold sensation invading his body, Alec felt his heart beatings becoming painful. What did I do? he wondered anxiously.

''He won't,'' said Maryse with a calm voice while finishing her glass of wine. ''Tonight is the night Alexander, finish what you started. You're halfway now,'' she whispered, handing her card to the waiter.

''And if you're wrong?'' he whispered too.

''I know your father better than anyone, hurry up before it's too late.''

Alec stood up in a hurry and almost overturned his chair and the table.

''Don't run,'' Maryse reprimanded. ''You're not five years old.''

And Alec ran in pursuit of his father. He caught him quickly and grabbed his arm in the lobby. Robert gave him a withering look and shook off his gesture with his shoulder and went out. Alec still followed him to his car.

''You won't, '' he said lowly, glaring up to meet his father's eyes.

Robert raised an eyebrow. ''Do you think I'm unable to do it ?'' he asked incredulously.

''If you really wanted to do that from the beginning you would have done it a long time ago,'' he hastened to add repeating the arguments of his mother.

His father who intended to open the car's door took off his hand and looked at him haughtily.

''Really? So why I didn't do it earlier in this case? Tell me, I'm dying to know, '' he smirked, crossing his arms.

''Because if you disinherit them you wouldn't have an heir at all.''

His father chuckled and leaned against his vehicle.

''And if I rather disinherit you?''

Alec didn't know what to say, and his father carried on.

''I see that you're a lost cause,'' he lamented. ''I have always said that even if you were a failure you were still my son, but you're not even worth it. And let's talk about your siblings. It suited them well that you were the one who would inherit Idris, they could do whatever they wanted this way ! Who do you think they will choose? Their brother who's a loser and who'll end up with nothing or their father who can provide them an easy life ?''

Alec made his mind with the idea of being disinherited and felt a little calmer.

''You bide them with money and their inheritance and me with them, if you take it away from them you'll end up alone, and I was given to understand that it wouldn't be in your interests.''

''Alone? How can you be so sure? You'll be the one to end up alone Alexander, they all went on vacation without you. You're nothing at all for them and even for him !''

Oh, Alec realized. That could explain why he didn't have any news from them and even from Magnus. Suddenly, he regretted having left the keys in the mailbox for not being able to recover the contracts he had foolishly left inside. He always was late. Max was certainly with them too as he stayed at Izzy's place. He wondered where and when they had gone.

''Even for me you are nothing ! You're a waste of my time and to say it was for your own good ungrateful brat! But you're right I'll keep the good elements and get rid of the shame of the family... I should have disinherited you from the beginning as I had intended to'' he huffed. ''I was really stupid ! You'll never be good enough, never would you have been a good son, and you should never have been born.''

Alec did his best to not look hurt by the words of his father but his throat tightened.

''If you had been a real father, I could have been a good son,'' he muttered while turning his head.

Maryse was there and was staring at them with a blank expression.

''You're fired and I disinherit you, and you won't be a big loss indeed, unlike Izzy or Jace, who despite their imperfections will always be my favorite ones. Anyone would prefer them to someone against nature as you,'' he nonchalantly added.

''I'm not against nature, you're the one who is,'' Alec muttered.

''You have to give me back everything.''

Alec frowned.

''You don't want any relationship with Idris or me do you? So give me everything back, everything that you have, and even the content of your bank accounts.''

Alec couldn't contain a grin when he saw the last resort his father had to make him bend. He couldn't support that someone stood up to him and wanted to crush him until he couldn't stand up as a revenge.

Alec took off his watch, a gift for his sixteen birthday that he rarely put because he found it too flashy and pretentious for him, and handed it to him. Robert grabbed it and put it in the pocket of his jacket.

''Tomorrow you will be poor, unemployed and on the streets. You'll soon beg me to take you back, and I will make you crawl in front of me when it happens.''

Never, Alec swore inwardly. He didn't know how he was going to survive or where he would live, but strangely Alec wasn't anxious. The influence his father had on him was strong, but it wasn't impossible to escape from it finally.

''Now all your children hate you,'' said Maryse. ''And it will be worse when they come back.''

Robert opened the door and rushed into the car.

''Remind me to delete him from the family tree once home.''

Alec met the gaze of his mother and gave her a look that clearly said ' _see? I could do it!_  A small smile appeared on Maryse's lips when she rushed after her husband in the car.

One way or another, his siblings will always do well. Alec regretted to not have done it sooner. Putting an end to this masquerade was the biggest thing he had accomplished in this life. He felt proud and sad, but his victory was still bitter because in addition of being too late, it had cost him his family and the love of a father he would never have.

 

Alec had spent the night outside to put an order in his thoughts. In the frenzy of the moment he was proud, now he regretted it because no matter if Max, Izzy, and Jace wouldn't suffer at all from all of it there would be collateral damages, but he couldn't help feeling relieved and then guilty: a spiral without any end. Luckily they were on vacation away from all this, he thought.

When he returned home, he wasn't surprised to see the broken door and some neighbors in pajamas in the hallway. Robert Lightwood was a very early morning person. Alec entered in his former apartment after his neighbors had disappeared and a familiar feeling clenched his chest.

Cardboard boxes littered the ground, he barely recognized his apartment. The couch and the coffee table were already gone. Alec was sure that they weren't the only things to have already disappeared, but his eyes remained fixed on his still full library.

Alec wasn't a material person but his books...just thinking about them a whirl of emotions came over. Especially when Robert took a book in the corner where he had stored his favorite ones. This corner was special, some of the old books had been costly and had him asked an actual detective work to find their original edition as he had loved them so much. And all would be removed from him in a snap.

''Some books are Max's, '' he merely said, zigzagging between the boxes.

''Which ones?''

Alec showed the mangas and the books belonging to his little brother. Robert took them, not wanting to deprive his youngest son of his goods, and put them in a box aside.

''I'll sell everything, even the apartment you'll have to sign a paper, and I will put money from your stuff on your sibling's accounts.''

Hearing him talk about money, Alec took out the check with the amount of his savings and the balance of his current account. Robert smiled at the sum and put it in the pocket of his jacket.

They stared at each other for a brief moment, and Robert waved at the movers to take everything out before following them with a satisfied smile.

''You have nothing left, and you're alone, I'm not even sure that I would want to give you an another chance if you came crawling under my eyes, even if you were about to die. You are no longer my son, and I have never had a son named Alexander Gideon Lightwood,'' he snapped without looking.

And Alec found himself alone in an empty apartment that was no longer his. Freedom had a price, as was to escape from the grip of a manipulative and slightly abusive father, and Alec had sufficiently paid the price. Nothing could be worse now, and this thought comforted him, even if he would dwell on the loss of his books for the rest of his days.

He took out his phone that was no longer useful and put it in the kitchen finding strange that his father, in his policy to dispossess him of everything, didn't claim it.

Alec had given him back all his belongings and what he owed him, and he was now used to the idea that there was nothing left. A very light way to make a new start, as long as he managed to do it of course.

 

Lydia gasped at him. Alec couldn't restrain a smile when he saw the face she made, besides the fact that her hair was disheveled and that she was still in her pajamas.

''You have nothing like nothing at all? ''

''He took everything.''

''And he didn't disinherit Izzy, Jace, and Max but you and only you? ''

''Yes.''

Lydia raised an eyebrow and smiled.

''Not bad, you got away! I mean your biggest fear was that... '' she trailed off with a wave.

''I don't think he ever intended to one day,'' murmured Alec while blowing on his cup of steaming coffee.

''And how they will react? They went on vacation?''

''No idea, I hope they will return as late as possible, and Max must be so happy to skip school.''

Lydia smiled and patted his hand.

''You were awesome yesterday, in any case, I hope it has vaccinated my parents with their absurd idea to get me engaged!''

''I hope for you.''

''More coffee?''

Alec nodded and thanked her, while burying his head in his arms.

''You're no longer being followed right?''

''No, I didn't notice anything when I was outside.''

''I only see benefits, it's good to be banished from the family right? '' said Lydia in a light tone. ''As for the rest,'' she continued in a more serious tone. ''You can stay here, my apartment is big enough for both of us, and I can lend you money, I mean my parent's money,'' she clarified.

''It's not as if I could apply for a loan in a bank now...,'' sighed Alec. ''And I don't even know when I can pay you back and if I'll be able to pay you back someday. ''

''I take the risk, I invest in you and your future,'' she said with a big smile.

They finished eating in silence and Lydia went to look for her computer.

''Don't you think you should contact your siblings or even Magnus, whoever as they surely are all together, for at least tell them...''

''No, they will see by themselves.''

Lydia rolled her eyes and sighed. ''Alright, anyway you need clothes and a new phone.''

''And I'll pay with what?''

''My money. ''

Alec gave her a skeptical look and finally accepted that she buys him the bare necessities.

''Alec, with all the money you owe me a little more or a little less it won't make a big difference.''

''It does for me, it's the first time I am indebted to someone.''

''There must be a first time for everything, come on, it'll be fun.''

Alec knew what it was to go shopping with a girl, and it was not fun at all.

*

Lydia was lovely and very kind to him, but Alec quickly felt the need to live alone. Maybe he was too asocial and needed his own space and place which could explain why he hadn't wanted to move in with Magnus, except the speed of their relationship.

''I am that tiresome?'' Lydia asked in a small voice.

''Of course not.''

''Then why do you want to move out when you are poor? ''

''Not that poor since you lent me money.''

''I will stop lending you money if you plan to move out with it.''

''I have to find a work first. ''

''Did you apply somewhere?''

''I have a job interview this afternoon. ''

Just thinking about it Alec had a cold sweat.

''How do you feel it?''

''I want to throw up and go away like very very far.''

''It will be fine then, you applied for what?''

''Something in import-export. ''

''And you like it ?''

''I have the skills...I think, and I need money.''

Lydia nodded. ''I hope you'll get the job.''

 

The circumstances of the interview itself were strange. Alec was the only candidate to have applied, and the recruiter was barely older than him with a strong German accent. According to his research on the company, it was recent and had youth as a staff.

''What are the motivations that have...hum...motivated your application...? '' asked the chubby man in an arrogant tone to give him a legitimate air.

''My studies, and my father disowned me so I need a job.''

The recruiter's mouth made an 'O', and he blinked several times, which gave him a flabbergasted look. Alec guessed that his bluntness would cause his loss.

''Gosh, it sucks! Were you too rebellious? ''

''Not really,'' said Alec.

''Then why? ''

''Because I said no.''

''He has a bad temper? ''

''It runs in the family.''

''Okay, I like your CV. Besides, you're the only one who applied if you want to know, so I'll take you.''

Alec wondered if that was a good sign, the man in front of him had to realize and sat up in his chair, pushing the table to Alec with his round belly.

''Don't worry, we're good...hum, just new on the market... so as a new business we just start and then properly have to commercialize our products in import and export, you see?''

''More or less.''

''In any case you, you seem to be competent enough, I'm sure you'll do wonders.''

Alec deduced that he was taken, but his anxiety increased when he heard a 'you've taken the hot guy?' and then when he was getting out an 'I didn't choose him for his appearance.' In what I sign up ?  he pondered anxiously to himself. But he had a job that was all that mattered.

''Life is pretty simple,'' he said in front of a stunned Lydia.

''Seems so...but you're going to collapse under work then?''

''That's the purpose, right?''

''But...''

''Don't stress me more,'' he added in a jaded tone.

Lydia shrugged. '' If it goes wrong, I'll help you make a complaint.''

*

It had only been a week since Alec worked for FancyB and he was exhausted. He had been well received by a 'finally a handsome guy on the team' or 'do you want a coffee?' Alec had wanted to run away as far as possible the first day from this too friendly place. Just arrived, he had been assigned to his office with a beautiful folder stack where he had to get quickly acquainted with.

But he had a job now and understood why nobody else had applied previously. It was a disaster. FancyB was an egg that needed hatching and Alec was an integral part of the family now, in his greatest despair because his colleagues were a little too sociable to his liking.

After an another exhausting day, Alec was heading to Lydia's place and jumped when a cold hand grasped his arm in the street.

''Mom?''

''Who else?'' she sighed, lowering her sunglasses. ''Come with me.''

Alec followed her meekly and climbed into the air-conditioned car. Maryse frowned upon seeing his tattoos on his arms.

''I'm no longer monitoring now, '' he whispered.

''We never know...and you did well when you got rid of your phone, even though I wondered why I couldn't join you... How is your life as a disinherited person?''

Alec frowned and looked more carefully at her. She was more jovial than usual and it was weird.

''My psychiatrist changed my treatment,'' she said to justify her condition. ''Act as if nothing happened... And Max is still in the Caribbean, he has fun.''

''When will they return?''

''I don't know, but they have to enjoy as much as possible... I find it strange that Magnus Bane wants that much to stay friends with Izzy or Jace, and that he didn't mind Max's presence.''

''And why not? They have been friends for a long time, Max is adorable, I don't see where's the problem.''

Maryse snorted. ''Where are you living?''

On seeing the face he made she rolled her eyes, ''I won't tell your father.''

''Lydia.''

''I can't lend you money, your father regularly checked our bank accounts to see if I give you money.''

''Lydia lends me some... You don't seem disappointed for what happened.''

Maryse raised his eyebrows. ''Why should I be disappointed? Your father got what he deserved and continues to ruminate...if you could see his face... I didn't care at all for your engagement with Lydia it had to happen somehow and I guess it was worth it,'' she smirked.

''What about you?''

''All in good time, he is not yet on the ground I'm waiting for the return of your siblings. You showed me what you were able to do so I'll show you how I will deal with him.''

Alec narrowed his eyes with perplexity. Things were turning into a conspiracy.

''You have a number where I can reach you?'' she asked.

''No I still haven't bought a new phone, I don't really need it.''

Maryse sighed. ''You're so not modern, take Lydia's phone from time to time and send me a message to at least tell me you're still alive.''

Alec rolled his eyes and stepped out of the car.

*

Lydia looked at his new apartment with disgust.

''You'd rather live here rather than at my place and with me? It's a dump!''

''This dump is suitable for me and closer to my work, and I can pay the rent. And I owe you enough money like that,'' Alec added.

''It makes me sad to think that you'll live here.''

''You dramatize everything.''

''And what is that thing?'' she said, pointing the sofa bed in a poor condition. ''Don't tell me you intend to sleep on it?''

Alec gave her an annoyed look.

''Okay,'' Lydia surrendered. ''Okay, you're a grown up, I need to let you go!''

She helped him install some furniture and discovered a passion for assembling them.

''I never thought I'd be good at it!'' she marveled.

Alec couldn't help smiling, a smile which faded away when he saw a stranger in the entrance. Lydia looked up and stared at the intruder with an incredulous face. Alec didn't know if it was a man or a woman, but this person had heavy makeup and was wearing a long platinum blonde wig.

''Hi,'' greeted the person in a very deep, masculine and drawling voice. ''You are my new neighbors?''

Lydia automatically pointed Alec with her finger.

''I'm Honey, I'll be your neighbor on the right since you don't have one on the left,'' the person said with his drawling voice.

''Hi,'' Alec said awkwardly.

''Do you need help?''

''No thank you I'm good at it,'' said Lydia with a smile.

Honey nodded, looked at Alec longer than necessary and went out waddling on her high heels. A strange silence settled after she left and Alec closed the door.

''It was a man, right?'' asked Lydia with a puzzled frown.

''You have to ask her or him.''

''This person seems very nice.''

Alec nodded.

''I can't believe you're going to live here! '' she repeated with dismay.

Alec rolled his eyes and looked at his apartment with concern. It was dark, damaged, small but enough for him.

''And you don't have a bathtub,'' she added.

''Before either.''

''And you call that a kitchen?''

''I know you'll miss me,'' he said in an amused tone. ''But we'll see each other again, a little less this week as I have a lot of work.''

Lydia looked at him skeptically. ''Yeah.''

*

It took him a long time before being able to stand for himself but finally he managed to do it after all this time. Alec honestly wondered how Magnus could have loved him when he had been so pathetic.

You don't become confident overnight, but Alec had to admit that he was doing better. Ending up with nothing overnight was a good way to change eventually.

Alec was getting used to his too friendly coworkers and his particular too friendly neighbor: Honey.

At first, the man he occasionally met in his building vaguely remind him of someone and the man couldn't help but chuckle, highly amused by the situation and by Alec's pensive pout.

''It's me, Sweetheart,'' the man had said with a deep and drawling voice.

Honey ran a grocery store by day, was a drag queen in his spare time and never had sugar. This could be why he regularly rang at Alec's door in search of this precious ingredient necessary for making cookies.

Honey always brought him cookies -things Alec highly enjoyed- with blue frosting sometimes.

''Like your eyes, Sweetheart,'' he said with a clear wink.

Alec finally found it strange that a person who ran a grocery store was this often out of sugar. Honey's eyebrows disappeared under the hem of his pink wig when Alec had bought especially for him a sugar packet and took the opportunity to offer it to him, but conveniently Honey had very rapidly, inadvertently and even accidentally spilled the said packet in the sink. But still, Honey was nice and his cookies were delicious.

His sofa bed was comfortable for only one person, and when Lydia had the misfortune to sit next to him, she squealed in pain when a particularly vicious spring stung her behind.

''I'll buy another one later,'' said Alec and he bought comfortable chairs the next following day.

*

After two sleepless nights spent at the office, Alec went home exhausted pleased at the idea of finally sleeping. He had a tiny bit abused of caffeine, and it showed by his eye bags and bloodshot eyes, plus he was a little paler than usual.

The elevator wasn't working, he had to take the stairs and arrived breathless at his floor. Fatigue clouded his mind so much that Alec had trouble inserting the key into the lock, the noise had intrigued Honey, which was now in babydoll in the hallway with a sleepy face.

''It's an hour to come back, Sweetheart?'' he teased.

Alec politely smiled and finally managed to open the door.

''By the way Sweetie, someone came here looking for you.''

Alec, who was desperately struggling to keep his eyes open, overly blinked. The panic came over slowly, and he wondered if it was his father who was determined to track him down to reduce him to nothing.

''He was so handsome Sweetheart you know how to pick them!''

''I confirm,'' Alice said, putting her head through the door and made a hello move to Alec. ''He had those eyes! ''

Alice was Honey's big brother who recently changed her gender. Honey, seeing how successful it was on his brother was seriously considering a gender change.

''Tall and sexy,'' Honey clarified with a grin. ''But he looked pretty angry so when I heard him insistently ringing at your door...'' he trailed off with a shiver.

Alec winced, his bell produced a rather sinister sound, and he didn't know how to disable it.

''I told him you were not often home.''

Alec and Alice frowned and stared at Honey.

''It can be very misunderstood,'' Alice chided.

Honey's mouth made a perfect 'O'.

''It was your boyfriend Sweetheart?''

''Hum...no.''

''Then I did well  to not specify,'' Honey defended himself by making a swaggering gesture.

''There was a mini version of you with this caramel-hot person!'' Alice beamed. ''With glasses, a relative?''

Alec's heart was madly pounding in his chest. He was at the edge of discomfort and could no longer breath.

''When did they come?'' asked Alec.

''Before going to bed, they were both angry,'' Honey said with a little smile. ''What have you done to them? ''

Alec frowned and suddenly wondered how Max and Magnus had known where he lived and since when they returned.

''It's been a long time since we had not seen each other, '' he simply said. ''They said something?'' he asked Honey.

''The caramel-hot person asked me when you would come back and as I didn't know I said it depended on and that he had to call you if he wanted to see you.''

They certainly tried to call him, maybe they even tried to come where he lived before, and maybe Magnus even read the contracts... Suddenly Alec needed a cup of coffee to stay awake and think about all this new informations.

''Are you alright Sweetie?''

''Yes, I just need a good night's sleep.''

''More than one,'' Alice said, yawning.

''Goodnight Sweetie. ''

Alec rushed inside and after turning on the light leaned against the door. His head was beginning to weigh heavily on his shoulders. Then, his eye fell on a piece of paper on the floor. He bent down, wincing, ready to throw it and saw an elegant but uneven writing which reflected a hurry.

It looked like Magnus' handwriting. Call me, followed by a phone number. By turning the piece of paper in search of Max's, Alec's heart twisted. He had torn a piece of a contract. It meant that he knew and that if Max was with him that he knew too and had brought them to confront him with that.

He finally decided to go to bed even though he knew that, with his state of extreme fatigue, he wouldn't fall asleep right away. He would have two things to do right after arriving at the office tomorrow morning: call Magnus if he gathered enough courage to do it, his bowels strangely twisted at the idea of doing it, then call Lydia. Maybe even the opposite calling Lydia first who had certainly stepped in because no one knew where he lived except her, and then call Magnus.

He turned and winced when he felt the spring against his back that was not staying in place. The night would be long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robert is kind of immature and childish, don't you think? Lydia is still awesome in her own way, Alec is growing up, and almost no Magnus ! :) 
> 
> As you could see shit happens and I was late and I made you impatient and frustrated in some of your comments so I apologize again because I don't like making people wait and I think being late sucks but it happens ! That's life ! I tried to be on time -like every Monday for me- but time is a sneaky and curious thing and was not on my side !
> 
> Adulting is a hard process and it takes a lot of time that's why I'm too tired, unmotivated and unable to write sometimes so, I will need more time for my next chapter as it will be longer. Furthermore, I'm not lucky with technology, I always have problems. I have to fix my computer because I have a fanfiction to write and I can't live without it !  
> (Reality sucks a lot, I hate it but I can't do anything about it ! It's my internship's fault for keeping me busy !)
> 
> So next chapter: 'the Sun, the Moon and the Truth' in two weeks (the 11th), if it's ready sooner I'll update as soon as possible but I won't be late this time ! 
> 
> Thanks for your patience and understanding, your kudos and comments ! :)
> 
> P.S.: I'm really talkative now in my end notes and this is weird because I'm not usually...maybe because the end is coming... Almost the end guys hehehehehe ! 
> 
> And thanks again caz. ! ;)


	14. The Sun, the Moon and the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this is the unbetaed version, any obvious English mistakes and sentences which don't make sense at all -and I hope there're not that many but they make sense to me so sorry- are mine ! I'll update the betaed version when it'll be ready! :)  
> It didn’t work when I tried to update earlier so here I am at my work place…as I’m so obsessed with it !
> 
> EDIT: betaed now ! Thanks caz !

Alec couldn’t sleep a wink that night, despite his state of intense fatigue, and mainly because of the excitement that made him feverish. But he eventually woke up, as astonishing as it was, and wondered if he had actually fallen asleep and not fainted due to tiredness, stress and anxiety.

After staggering into the kitchen to make coffee, he went to take a shower in order to wake himself up and to be able to think about an attack plan because he had none. Plans were not his strong point and even less if it concerned his siblings and Magnus.

He carefully avoided looking at his tattoos in the mirror as every one of them reminded him now of what Magnus used to do with his tongue, nose or fingers above them. He cast a quick glance in the mirror that sent him the image of a pale man with bloodshot eyes surrounded by dark circles as blue as his eyes. Alec quickly looked away, horrified by his reflection.

His coffee cup lightly helped to clarify his mind and he began to think of what awaited him. Logically, Magnus and Max knew about his financial situation which was not great, but what did they know concretely? Just thinking about the situation and them made Alec panic, he didn’t even know what to say or who to call first after having called Lydia.

Maybe Magnus only wanted to give him back his stuff, to end their story once for all, Alec had already given him back his keys after all.

Who knows, Robert might have already started to annoy his siblings with Idris... which would mean that they already had learned about the new family situation. Alec seemed to pile up problems one after another and didn’t know what to fear the most now, yet the worst was over, but the feel was the same.

He had to call Lydia and that was why he went earlier to his office, as he still didn’t see the point of having a new phone because nobody was speaking to him.

When he arrived early in FancyB’s premises he wasn’t surprised to see Victor, who had hired him, doing his full of caffeine with the coffee machine. They greeted each other with a grunt and Alec went to hide in his office.

He perfectly knew he had no right to use the phone of his job place to spend personal calls but it didn’t prevent him to do so. He would feel guilty later.

Lydia had filled his head to make him remember her phone number by heart, and Alec was ashamed to admit it but it was the only one, with the family home and Idris, that he remembered. Numbers were not his thing. She picked up quickly.

''Hi, it's Alec.''

''I know,'' she said in an amused tone.

''Hum...I was wondering if you told someone where I lived,'' he murmured uncertainly, while neglecting to mention Max and Magnus

''Why would I have done that? Something happened?''

Alec frowned. _Then, how did they know?_

''Magnus and Max went at my place when I wasn’t here and I don’t know how they managed to find out where I lived.''

''They’re back?''

''Seems so.''

''Oh my God! They know everything now? I mean like everything?''

''I don't know.''

''What do you mean by you don’t know?''

Alec let out a strangled noise. He didn’t know and was afraid to know.

''If they came to see you it means something happened Alec, call them. ''

''I don’t know what to tell them, '' he grumbled.

''I'm sure they will talk to you and then it'll be your turn to speak you must tell the truth Alec, that's what they want. ''

There was a silence and Alec ran a hand over his face.

''You’re still there? '' asked Lydia.

''No.''

''So?''

''So what?''

''You will call them, right?''

Alec groaned. ''So you really haven’t told anyone?''

Lydia sighed. ''To whom would you want me to say it? Even to your mother I didn’t say anything... I’m even paranoid for you, do you realize? But still, ask her you never know... You remember her number? '' she kindly scoffed him.

Alec narrowed his eyes. He didn’t see why his mother would have told Max, let alone Magnus... He sighed, expressing his frustration that he couldn’t express with words.

''Thank you, have a good day,'' he said.

''I won't with my exams but thank you, and buy a new phone, you need one!'' she said before hanging up.

Alec was wondering what he could say if he called Magnus and Max and jumped when the door opened.

''Meeting,'' growled Laura, a coworker.

He was relieved to have the time to hang up before she came in.

''Meeting for what? '' he asked suspiciously.

She shrugged. ''I don’t know, Victor wants us to have one, like in a real company.’’

Alec had no recollection that there had been a single one in Idris, unless he had never been informed of them, but he would have realized it, right? At the thought of Idris, Alec's throat tightened and he forgot to breathe as he automatically thought of his father. Sometimes it made him something and sometimes not, it depended. Alec immediately began to think about something else.

FancyB had five employees and they all had the same face that showed their extreme fatigue and that they were at the end of the rope, still going on with coffee. It was a disaster for them, but a blessing in disguise for FancyB which became more and more flourishing with the weeks passing by.

''We need to hire more employees,'' mumbled Amanda.

''I want to take days off, '' Laura claimed.

They all wanted to take days off.

Victor swore in German and glared at them.

''And what would I pay those new employees? This company is only in its beginning we must be careful, and you can't afford to take days off now, it won't do. ''

It made Alec sigh, he had counted his overtime work and had the right to take a big week of leave days. Provided he takes one, one day of course.

''Those who have done the more hours will be the first to take a break,'' he added firmly before pushing another curse. ''Still no phone?'' he barked for Alec.

 _What do they all have with phones?_ Alec sighed inwardly. If he didn't want a new one it was because he didn't want to be harassed more than he already was by mail. And he didn't have time to go and buy one. No time or no money. He was too busy to make sure he would have enough to live on for the next month. He had to pay rent, the bills, shopping and trinkets from his daily life -without counting Lydia that he should repay-, he had already begun to repay her despite her protests.

Alec was bothered by worries of everyday life he had never had before and he could manage without a phone, although he had to admit that it would be more convenient.

''No,'' he calmly answered.

He was too tired and too jaded to be offended by the tone that Victor had taken to talk to him.

His colleagues took him all for someone posed and calm while inwardly Alec was panicking as much as them or even worse than them sometimes, except that it didn't necessarily show it.

By dint of showing nothing, what he was holding back and prevented from coming out was piling up. It would eventually explode. Nothing good could come from bottling everything up. Alec knew it but still did it, that was what he had always done. He was used to it. Even if the recent events had been more harmful than usual. He had tried to think with neutrality and distance, and as soon as he felt a vise or an unpleasant emotion semblance, he had forced himself to think of something else.

It was automatic, as a defense mechanism to protect himself.

This mechanism was self-destructing slightly since he knew that Max and Magnus had gone home. His throat tightened and the void in the stomach that announced nothing good appeared once again. All flickered again.

Alec tried to think of something else.

 

He was staring at the piece of paper containing Magnus' number for many minutes already and was late in the commands he should have done hours ago. They could wait two minutes, undecided as Alec was.

Three small knocks made him look up. The door opened and Victor appeared with a steaming cup in his chubby hands. He came waddling and Alec could see how much weight he had lost. He was less chubby than before. It must be said that he had three times more reason to stress as he was the boss.

The latter hastily put down the cup he was holding.

''As an apology for earlier,'' he hastened to say.

Alec raised his eyebrows, surprised.

''You have the right for not wanting a phone.''

Their eyes met and Alec grabbed the cup that he drew out to him. It was a lemon tea by the smell.

''Thank you.''

Victor hastened to smile and rushed toward the exit with his waddling walk. Alec grinned and tasted his too sweet tea.

Throughout the day, Magnus' phone number remained prominently on his desk, next to the phone. And yet, Alec still hadn't called. He didn't dare and he was busy.

He politely refused the dinner offered by his coworkers as he stayed to make a call. Luckily, Victor also refused, too tired to socialize, which made Alec less anti-social.

His gaze immediately went to the phone which was waiting to be finally used with Magnus' phone number. But Alec didn't intend to call, not right away at least.

He dialed feverishly the number of the Lightwoods family mansion hoping that either his mother or better, Max would answer. Alec breathed out when he heard the beeps and held his breath when someone answered.

Not expecting that it would be Robert who would pick up, Alec hung up immediately, horrified, before throwing a glance at the dial on the wall. It was 10:00 pm, his presence was more than normal.

He jumped when the phone rang and swore inwardly, Robert was apparently trying to call back to find out who had called. Alec didn't answer, waiting anxiously for it to stop ringing. At the fourth time he finally decided to pick up without saying a word in order to not betray himself.

''I'd never thought you'd be stupid enough to call home,'' grumbled the voice of his mother.

Alec let out a relieved sigh and smashed his hand against his face.

''How do you know it was me ? '' he suddenly asked with a frown.

''Because I know where you work and where you live,'' she said in an obvious tone.

 _But how?_ He wanted to ask, taken aback. Lydia didn't tell a soul and... Alec slumped into his chair with a sigh. She must have led her own investigation, a family habit.

''They came back,'' she whispered.

Alec gulped. ''I know... You're the one who told Max?''

''Who else? He went to your place?''

''He knows?'' he asked uncertainly.

''What does he know?''

Before Alec had the time to open his mouth, she was already pursuing.

''That you are disinherited and that your father doesn’t want to hear about you, they all know. Robert exploded at the airport when he went to get back your siblings and when they asked him about you and Lydia, well, you can guess what happened.... He also took this opportunity to tell them what he thought about _this_ Magnus,'' she added in a light tone whereas Alec tensed up. ''For the contracts on the other hand, only Max knows, as I put them on the bed prominently... maybe he said everything to Jace and Izzy, I don't know.''

Alec's eyes widened. ''Why did you do that?''

''So he will choose me during the divorce,'' she calmly answered. ''I don't think you intended to tell them anyway so... better now than never, don't you think? ''

Alec didn't really resent his mother for using him as a weapon.

''And how did he react?''

''We haven't talked since he returned... Max hadn't said anything since came back to tell the truth... except when he asked me where he could find you.''

 _Either Max does not trust her or he held her responsible,_ thought Alec.

''Can you give me his number?''

''Do you want the others' ones too?'' she scoffed. ''Why are you so bad with numbers...'' she sighed before giving them. ''By the way, Lydia may have told you -if you're still in touch- I intend to hire her parents.''

Alec frowned, he didn't know. ''So you...,'' he trailed off.

''I'm pretty confident now.''

''Good for you,'' Alec mumbled.

''If you knew how much they are angry at you Alexander, almost the same as your father.''

Alec winced.

''I let you handle it and do it well, I want them on my side.''

Before Alec could ask her if she had already started her divorce proceedings, Maryse had already hung up. He was not in the state to handle anything and let out a frustrated groan.

It was late, maybe Max was already asleep but Alec seriously doubted it. He was probably on his phone texting Ellie. The question was whether Max would pick up an unknown number. Alec nervously dialed his number and waited.

''Hello?''

Alec who was fiddling mechanically the telephone wire forgot to speak.

''Hi, how was your vacation?'' he asked trying to unravel the wire that was now holding up his fingers.

''Alec?'' exclaimed Max before swearing following the crash the latter heard. ''I dropped my laptop,'' he grumbled

Alec hummed, hoping that their conversation wouldn't be awkward.

''Seems like a lot happened recently,'' said Max. ''We have a lot to say to each other.''

''Seems so.''

A heavy silence settled which made Alec more anxious than he was.

''I think I can slip out of the house,'' whispered Max. ''I'll meet you at your place?''

 _You know where I live?_ He wanted to ask before remembering that yes, Max knew.

''I'll bring popcorn, '' Max added. ''See you later.''

 

Alec couldn't suppress a huge grin when, he opened the door of his apartment, he saw Max's sunburn on the nose.

''Izzy is worst than me,'' Max grumbled while handing him the popcorn.

They stared intently at each other, Max with concern and Alec with a puzzled air. Max seemed to have grown since the last time they had seen the other, and in every sense of the word.

''You look tired,'' stated his little brother.

Alec closed the door behind him and turned towards him with apprehension. Max was visually exploring the apartment with a frown.

''It's worse than outside,'' he murmured.

Alec rolled his eyes. ''You want something to drink? And it's better to sit on the chairs and not on the couch.''

Max took a chair where he didn't sit down, turning on himself in search of something. Alec thought, while taking the orange juice from the fridge, he was looking at the lack of furniture or the questionable appearance of the walls, or the smallness of the apartment.

''Where are your books?'' Max asked with bewilderment.

Alec winced, he didn't expect to hear this question first from his mouth. He expected everything but not that. He slowly handed him his drink and sat on his so uncomfortable sofa that he regretted having sat on it.

''There would have been no place here,'' he tried to joke but it was still a painful subject, not a day passed without thinking about his books collection soaring in a matter of seconds. ‘You got back yours normally.''

Max blinked. ''I thought... I thought you gave them back to me because I didn’t want to talk to you anymore, I thought it was very immature of you...''

''That's all I could actually save,'' murmured Alec.

''I found them with that on my bed,'' said Max pulling out papers from his pocket.

 _Here we go_ , Alec pondered to himself seeing him unfold the contracts that Maryse had decided to show to her youngest son.

''That's what I was looking for all this time?'' Max growled while glaring at him.

Alec carefully avoided his gaze, displaying guiltily.

''Why was it on my bed? ''

''Mom.''

Max frowned. ''Why did she put them there? She has nothing to do with that ?''

‘'Not really.''

''Why didn’t you tell us anything Alec? '' he whispered. ''Why did you let yourself do that? ''

''I'm not that sure now, ''Alec whispered too, finally looking up at him.

And he regretted it, Max was watching him in a way that shook him up. He didn’t want to see that kind of look in his little brother’s gray eyes and even less this sad and helpless pout. The emotions Alec had tried so much to suppress started to reappear, he tried once again to think of something else.

Alec knew he didn’t have to explain anything to Max who knew and understood because everything was already written down, and besides, he knew him enough to know how it occurred.

And perhaps because Max saw that Alec didn’t want to talk about it.

''I always thought that he would have to end up to accept me in one way or another,'' murmured Alec by unfolding the sofa bed. ''I was misled and I feel that everything was useless.''

Max, who had not taken his eyes from him since the beginning sighed deeply. ''It was useless... Robert manipulated you like a puppet and once you rebelled he had had enough, a real asshole,'' he grumbled.

Alec smiled and lay down. Max did the same and winced when he felt the springs.

''How can you sleep on it? '' he whined.

''I'm poor.''

Max rolled his eyes and put his glasses on the floor before burrowing himself under the covers. Alec got up to turn the light off and went back to bed loudly. Never he would have thought that his bed would be this noisy under the weight of two people.

Alec's eyelids grew heavy immediately and were ready to shut to give him the sleep he desperately needed. Max breathed out and timidly approached him, he was so close that Alec could feel the heat emanating from his body.

''You know, I went to Izzy’s place after... uh ... our last conversation where I told you I’d no longer talk to you. Izzy and Jace said that they won’t either because you behaved like an idiot, and because the parents were always fighting... it was to make you react and if I've avoided you it’s because you did the same by saying nothing... ''

Alec winced and wondered if Magnus had adopted the same tactic for the same reasons, but he didn’t dare.

''We were more or less thinking about a plan for your engagement, to get you out from it... And then, Magnus wasn’t feeling good, he wanted to celebrate his birthday in the Caribbean and I found myself with them.’’

Alec who tensed up when he heard Magnus name almost gasped. He had completely forgotten his birthday, it was not like he could have wished him a happy birthday but...

''You had fun ?''

Max chuckled. ''It was fun, everyone was there except Simon who couldn’t come with us...but hey Catarina, Ragnor, and Clary were there, plus people I didn’t know at all…a lot of them actually…''

Alec wanted to ask if Magnus had found someone else but he didn't dare to ask either, he didn't want to hear the answer.

''So, your stuff paid our vacation?'' Max tried to joke.

Alec kept his eyes shut and sighed. '’Yeah, can say that…how much did you receive?''

''Izzy and Jace refused to tell me but it was a lot and they found it suspicious...they didn’t touch it... and I understand that. I too, I had the right to have a piece of the pie...you should have seen his face at the airport when he picked me up,'' said Max in a small voice. ''When Izzy and Jace harassed him with their questions to find out where the money came from...and me when I asked him about you. In short, we knew something had happened when he said he didn’t know of whom we were talking about. We thought he was joking but Robert never jokes... he ends up saying that you no longer existed and that...well, he said horrible things and Catarina asked if you were still alive. I must admit that even I, I had some doubts ...''

Alec held back his breath whereas Max was catching his.

''And?''

''And Magnus is really scary when he wants...I mean he's always smiling and...''

Alec knew what he meant. ''Why was he angry?''

''What do you think? Robert said horrible things and I think they all understood why, well, why you behaved like you did.''

 _In front of the others,_ he thought painfully. It couldn't be worst. Alec still didn’t know if it justified his behavior and if it changed something.

''And so,'' said Max. ''When I got home yesterday morning, I saw my books and your contracts on my bed... Robert had gone to work and Mom... I didn’t want to ask him what it was, I told myself either she was unaware whether she didn’t care and...''

''She was the one who found them before you, that's why you didn’t find them before...she wanted you to know to influence your decision when she’ll divorce.''

Max sat up, making the bed creak that couldn’t bear theirs weighs. ''What?''

''To each his weapons,'' murmured Alec. ''She wants to have your custody and she’s afraid that Robert will use her depression against her to have you.''

Max strangely remained silent before laid down again. ''A lot happened,'' he said a little taken aback. ''Why now?''

''Ask her... but she made me realize that if I could do it she could too, it's a bit thanks to her it all happened. ''

''She can’t stand Robert either? ''

''Something like that.''

''Is it because of his lover?''

''You know?''

''I heard Izzy and mom talking about it one day.''

_Oh._

They didn’t say a word for a few minutes.

''I tried to call you once I had read them,'' murmured Max. ''And I couldn’t get through your voicemail, it said that your number was not assigned... I thought about calling Jace and Izzy but they would have been useless. ''

''What do you mean?''

''It seems that Izzy has a rival,'' Max snorted. ''Simon is more popular than we thought ... I think it's a girl named Maia... Anyway, she must be kind of busy investigating what happened during her absence. And many girls flirted with Jace on vacation so when there was this guy at the airport who started to talk to Clary about the drawings she made on her suitcase he didn’t appreciate it and they quarreled.''

Alec couldn't help smiling.

''So I decided to call Magnus who couldn’t reach you either... and when we met, he was furious like it worsened after the airport and he showed me what he had found in his mailbox... I don’t know if he was more upset about the keys or the contracts though, ask him. In short, we went to your place for some explanations and surprise, a couple was living there for a month already.''

''Really ?'' asked Alec, surprised that someone was already leaving there.

He squealed when Max pinched his arm.

''I called Robert to ask where you were and he told me he didn’t care and he didn’t want to know... he was at home and mom called me a bit later to tell me where you lived. She also said she hoped that Magnus didn’t revolve around you and that I wouldn’t tell him where you live... I haven’t told Magnus about this part and I told him where you lived since he was with me.''

''Mom doesn't like him but she's okay with me being gay,'' Alec said in a small voice.

Max sighed. ''She should see his angry face and she wouldn’t say anything,'' he grumbled. ''In short, we came here, you were not at home and we met your lovely neighbors.''

Alec snorted. ''Lovely indeed.''

''Let me guess, you didn’t call him?''

''No.''

‘Why?''

''I’m waiting to be ready emotionally.''

'You’ll never be ready then...call Magnus Alec, he still loves you ... Ragnor even told me he had almost drawn up an altar with your stuff and would continue to worship them until the end of his days. ''

Before Alec had time to ask skeptically: _if he still loves me why didn’t he call me back_ or _why can’t he forgive me?_ Max continued.

''And ask him your questions yourself, I’m only thirteen and other things to worry about.''

''Like Ellie?''

Max gave him a nudge.

Alec didn’t mention the most hurtful things that Robert had held against him the night he had said stop, but he told Max about Lydia and how he emancipated from the yoke of their father.

''So you're no longer engaged? ''

''No, I’m even married now, '' said Alec rolling his eyes.

Max gave him another nudge. ''She looks cool. ''

''She is cool.''

''I regret having cursed her without knowing her,'' whispered Max. ''We all did... and I think Izzy insulted her several times.''

They kept silent and gradually fell into the arms of Morpheus when Max poked Alec's sides.

''Don’t forget to call Magnus tomorrow Alec, we haven’t said a word to Izzy and Jace. We thought it was yours to do it.''

Alec groaned and turned.

''He's okay though? '' he finally asked.

''Ask him, and if you don’t call him I'll tell him you're too scared and he’ll come to get you with his angry face and you’ll have everything you deserve. ''

''And his disdainful pout.''

''Yeah his angry face and his disdainful pout,'' mumbled Max.

''They hate me?''

''Who?'' growled Max. ''No they don't, they were furious with you at first I think as we all were. But in the Caribbean, as we talk about you, us, our relation with Robert they just realized that you were emotionally constipated and you never say no, as Jace put it kindly, but that it slightly improved with Magnus before Robert decided to ruin everything. Nobody hates you Alec, so sleep you need it with your face.''

Alec didn’t have to be told twice and fell asleep, the tightening in his chest becoming less oppressing.

 

Max slept very poorly and now could understand why Alec looked this tired.

''It's because of my work, '' insisted Alec.

Max nodded mockingly.

''I'll tell Izzy and Jace that you're perfectly okay, can I give them your address if they ask?''

''They won't ask.''

''They just asked.''

Alec narrowed his eyes. He didn't want to be invaded by them and hear their reproaches.

''Tell them then but they can't come. And don't you have school?''

''No, I'm already on vacation...it ended when I was in the Caribbean,'' he said. ''I need to go back otherwise our dear parents will worry, so I can tell Mom you're okay?''

Alec nodded.

''And I can tell Magnus that I saw you?''

''I'll call him,'' Alec murmured.

Max smiled with satisfaction and left not without taking a handful of popcorn.

*

Alec felt slightly better to have seen his little brother but he was still anxious as before. He wondered if he should call Izzy and Jace busy as they were with their life and their love life. Unconsciously, Alec did everything to delay the moment when he should call Magnus, he couldn’t breath just thinking about dialing his number.

In any case, all of them would be angry because he wouldn’t have called earlier. Alec seriously thought about organizing an explanation meeting that would bring everyone at once.

Leaving his building to work, Alec met Honey who was visibly returning from a party, stumbling, his red wig hair undone, and his makeup scattered.

''Going to work, Sweetheart ?'' he said with a deep and drawling voice.

''Going to sleep ?'' Alec said back.

''Want to join me?'' Honey teased.

Alec didn't know what to answer: _I have to work_ but it would mean that it would have been okay if he didn't have to work and _no thank you_ would mean that he took his joke too seriously.

Honey's smile widened. ''Another time then? Today I may or I may not bake cookies, do you want some?’’

''Yes please,'' Alec said hoping that he’d understood his yes for the cookies and not for the 'another time’.''

Honey grinned. ''Have a good day Sweetie, I'm exhausted.''

''Yeah,'' Alec grumbled, rushing to the nearest subway station.

After weighing the pros and the cons, Alec decided to call Magnus finally. He was, according to Max, angry enough so it would be better not to make things worse. Alec imagined Magnus’ eyes which became yellow when he was upset...and his face the last time they saw each other. Alec felt like it had been an eternity and he was not very sure about what he would say. At first, he wanted to apologize then fix what he had destroyed, to finally only wanting his forgiveness.

He was not sure about what he currently wanted with Magnus. He didn't think enough fearing those unpleasant emotions he felt just thinking about it. But Max had told him that he still loved him, even if it was hard to believe he couldn't help being full of hope.

Alec made up his mind, he would call him at the end of the day. So if Magnus didn’t wish to meet Alec, he would have still tried.

This day was the least stressful one since Alec was working in FancyB, things began to stabilize and they even took the time to eat a proper meal without a single cup of coffee. And it was even the first time Alec left his workplace without having made one additional hour. A day to mark with a red stone.

But Alec had forgotten Magnus, he cursed inwardly, maybe he did need to buy a new phone. But he didn't want one, so he returned to FancyB to abuse umpteenth time of the telephone line.

He began to hope that Magnus would answer, then no, then yes, then no. He even wanted to hang up even before dialing his number. Alec dreaded a lot to hear the sound of his voice...

Perhaps it would be awkward between them.

''Magnus Bane.''

Magnus picked up so quickly that Alec was caught off guard and found himself unable to say a word. Maybe he should have prepared what he would have said before. And it had been so long since he had heard the sound of his voice that his heart jumped in his chest.

''Hi, it's Alec.''

 _You asked me to call you so I did, bye_ , he wanted to add.

''I thought you would never call.''

''Me too,'' Alec added with too much honesty.

Neither of them said a word as if they were waiting for the other to speak first. Alec knew he had to start but he didn't know where to start, much less what words to use.

''You have nothing to say to me?''

Alec wondered what he was referring to and the only thing that loomed up in his head was Magnus' birthday.

''Hum...I know I'm late but happy birthday.''

He was aware that it was a bad response based on the deadly silence that answered him. Alec thought Magnus had hung up. He finally heard him taking a deep breath as if he was trying to stay calm. _Good job Alec_ , he congratulated himself, _as if Magnus needed to be angrier than he was._

''With everything that happened and explanations that you owe me you only think about wishing me a happy birthday?'' Magnus asked coldly.

Alec apparently gave the impression of having understood nothing at all.

''I've never met anyone as frustrating as you,'' murmured Magnus. ''Even now you're trying to avoid the thick of it,'' he sighed.

''Sorry, it's almost instinctive,'' murmured Alec.

_So now that you know everything, want to share your opinion about me?_

''Are you free tonight?'' Magnus asked a little abruptly.

''Why?''

''I don't know about you but I prefer to talk face to face and this way I'll know if you're lying or not.''

Alec seriously wondered if his happy birthday had not made things worsened, unless Magnus was touchy and didn't accept his twenty-nine years old.

And he looked like a zombie. He didn't want to show his tired self.

 _Sorry I can't go for aesthetics reasons_ , he could say. He could even add ' _for emotional reasons_ ' too.

''I thought you could guess with my voice,'' he managed to say.

''The voice and the eyes, I can't see your eyes on the phone Alexa... Alec.''

It was the second time he called him this way, Alec scowled.

''You want me to bring a lie detector? It could help you.''

Alec could almost imagine Magnus' eyes narrow and his lips curl up. Maybe he worsened things. He had the impression to externalize what he bottled up deep inside of him on Magnus who was not a person to mess with and neither a person on who Alec wanted to vent his frustration and even less crack.

''What a great idea,'' he sarcastically said. ''So you're free tonight, that's good to hear. Let's meet where we last saw each other in one hour.''

Alec hung up, sincerely wondering if there was even the slightest feeling alive between them. _Maybe Max had misheard Ragnor's words_ , thought Alec.

 

Magnus was waiting in front of the Palace, the cursed place in which neither he nor Lydia had returned since. For a moment, Alec thought it would be ironic and frightening to meet Robert accidentally.

He thought a little late about his outfit. He was dressed all in black even though his shirt was slightly faded and thought back about his zombie appearance, wincing. Magnus was waiting in all his splendor. Alec longed to turn around a run. Magnus' hair was shorter, his skin darker, Alec pictured him sunbathing like a brioche, but he had not changed, He just looked angry, aloof and mad.

He sharply turned his head to Alec who winced. They stared lengthily at each other, Magnus' eyes stared at him from head to toes, his eyes lingering on his arm tattoos and the others through his clothes which he knew by heart the location.

''No lie detector to what I see. ''

''Too heavy and I thought that my voice and my eyes would be more than enough.”

''It depends...you'll dare to lie to me?''

''No,'' Alec scowled who couldn't bear the thought that Magnus was considering him as a liar now.

Without a word Magnus went inside with three strides, Alec followed him, so quietly that Magnus turned around to check if he was still there. The latter wondered if this dinner was a good idea given Magnus' bad mood.

They sat in silence, a silence that was determined to keep them company. The server gave them their menus and smiled with amusement at Alec who recognized him once gone. It was the same waiter who was at their table the night he had said he was gay. He was surprised that he recognized him, he had, and surely unwittingly impressed people with his announcement.

Alec did his best not to look into his eyes when he returned to get their orders. He glanced up at Magnus and immediately looked down when he saw the latter staring at him.

''Let's talk business,'' said Magnus, putting his arms on the table.

Alec didn't want to talk business, he didn't want to speak at all in fact.

''I knew something was wrong between you and your father...thing that you never wanted to admit or even to tell me...You were eighteen when you signed? What happened in your head?''

His father had just kindly said that his feelings for Jace were disgusting and unwilling to be disgusting, and to move up in the esteem of his father, Alec had signed.

''I can guess,'' finally said Magnus. ''So you've blindly obeyed him during all these years in strict accordance with the -and I love this part- _don't be gay_... So my question is: before, you didn't want me because it was me or because of this damned contract?''

''Both.''

_Mainly the contract though._

Leaning against his chair, Magnus stared at him with an unreadable look in his eyes while strumming his fingers on the white tablecloth. Alec glanced up again to immediately look down at his empty plate.

''And when we were together then, you've signed another one... How did you expect to respect the terms as you were violating most of them, uh? I can't even believe you could even do what was written...,'' he lamented with a stunned face. ''You seriously thought that you could reconcile your father and me?''

Alec kept silent.

''It didn't come to your mind that it would be _him or me_?''

''No.''

Magnus expression hardened.

''You intended to do what your dear daddy wanted you to do unto death?''

Alec gritted his teeth, that was why he had never told Magnus.

''No need to wonder why I never told you,'' he grumbled while glaring at him.

Magnus sat up and opened his mouth, ready to respond harshly but the waiter arrived with their drinks: wine for Magnus and orange juice that didn't look like orange juice for Alec. The latter frowned, not recalling having ordered it and cast a glance at Magnus.

This interruption paused their verbal sparring that had begun to fester.

Their eyes met, almost shyly.

''Why didn't you tell me? Did I give you the impression that you couldn't trust me? '' asked Magnus.

Alec didn't look away, surprised by the calm and gentle tone of his voice which was threatening, cold, and acidic earlier.

''Nobody knew.''

''And why nobody knew?''

''Because.''

''Why have you finally decided to tell me about it and put them in my mailbox?''

''Why? Does it change something?''

''No,'' Magnus answered a little harshly.

And he rose abruptly, bent over the table and grabbed Alec by the collar of his shirt before crushing his lips against his. Alec was so surprised that he stood idly, unable to move. It was a fierce peck, a little possessive which Alec didn't know how to respond. Magnus' teeth brushed his lower lip, as if he hesitated to deepen this simple kiss. The lips are still pressed against his, Alec felt his fingers touching his neck lightly. Magnus finally changed his mind to deepen anything and sat down as if nothing had happened.

The only thing that could betray what had happened was Alec's shirt that was slightly wrinkled and loosened at the neck, or maybe his bewilderment, in fact both at once.

The waiter came to bring them their meals while Alec kept staring at Magnus' lips. He was kind of confused about the turn of events. Magnus' attitude showed that he was angry and irritated against him, rightly, and he had just kissed him despite his irritation.

''I still love you,'' Magnus declared while cutting as naturally as possible his meat. ''Even if you behave like an idiot with me and by letting you manipulate.''

Alec wondered if his _I love you_ was for him or his meat. Magnus raised his head to look at him right in the eye.

''You still love me?'' Alec repeated, carefully observing his face in search of any proof of real love.

The tiny piece of hope lights up once again. Max was right.

''Then…why can’t you forgive me?’’ he asked with a frown.

Magnus who was still staring intently at him finished chewing and put down his cutlery before crossing his hands under his chin.

''You gave me the impression that there was no room for me in your life, there was one but it didn't have the importance I wanted or that I deserved... And frankly, you had intended to do what with me? Be your lover hidden forever? Would you have told me any of that one day Alec? ''

''Are you talking about Lydia?’’ he asked.

Magnus's lips twitched at the mere mention of her name.

''You intended to marry her, luckily you got a click.''

_Sort of._

''My explanations would change anything?'' asked Alec. ''Because I don't have a single one. I never threw myself in the future as you did and that is surely what the problem is... I only thought about reconcile two things: you and what I had to do, that's all.''

Except towards the end. Alec had begun to realize gradually what it was.

Alec had underestimated Magnus' love for him, it had been the bigger problem. He enormously felt guilty. Magnus had not been planned and had destroyed everything gradually. His _I have to_ had became _I have to even if I don’t want it_ to become finally _I don’t want it so I don’t have to do it._

''You were ready to marry her?'' asked Magnus with a raised eyebrow.

''Not really, we decided to be friends instead and pretend to do as they wanted the time to find a solution.''

''You took your time then, '' Magnus smirked. ''She knew from the beginning that you were gay? ''

''We decided to be friends so it didn’t matter,’’ Alec answered grumpily. Under his stare, he had to clarify. ''She learned it last time.''

''She reacted well?''

''Why would she have reacted badly?''

Magnus shrugged and began to eat. Alec thought it best not to talk about Lydia, he didn't know whether to bother to mention all she had done for him.

''Izzy and Jace still don’t know?’’

''I'm not sure if I want them to know,’’ murmured Alec.

Magnus glared at him. ''And why?’’ he coldly asked. ''Max knows.’’

''It’s different for him…as for you.’’

''If you don’t tell them, I will.’’

Alec glared back at him. ''It’s not up to you to tell them,’’ he hissed.

''You exasperate me,'' Magnus spat. '' They are big enough stop protecting them. You should have let them be disinherited from the beginning, look where it led you! It turned against you, it was never your spring Alec to ensure their comfort but your parents'. And your father never wanted to accept you, I doubt he would have one day.''

Alec looked at the teeth of his fork with particular attention.

''Even if it is your father he won't be a big loss,'' Magnus continued. ''You should have heard him at the airport when he picked Max... Never I would have wanted to have a father like him, I don't know how you managed to support this man or if he behaves the same with your mother or your siblings but I understand why you have the self-esteem of a turtle and why you were so horrified about your sexual orientation. You're normal Alexander, perfectly normal, whereas he, he's not.''

Alec sadly smiled, ignoring the heaviness of the weight in his chest. ''I told him that he was the one who was against nature when he told me I was...I immediately felt guilty, it reassures me that I'm not the only one who think this way about him.''

Magnus gazed at him. ''He said something else?''

''No,'' said Alec too hastily trying to think of something else.

''You just lied. ''

''You must be used to it now.''

Magnus smirked coldly. ''You're going to lose at this game and you'll regret even playing at it.''

Alec decided to shut up, he was unusually aggressive and didn't want to let off steam on Magnus. The latter took out his phone, glanced up at Alec and wrote a text.

''You saw Max yesterday? '' he asked.

''Yes, he stayed to sleep.''

''He asks if you called me.''

Alec was in the process of counting the beans that remained on his plate that he had barely touched.

''You don't have a new phone ?'' asked Magnus.

''What's the point? The last time I had one everyone ended up ignoring my messages and my calls,'' Alec said.

Magnus froze, looked up and finished writing his text before putting his phone in his pocket and their desserts arrived.

''I'm the only one who has the right to be angry,'' said Magnus firmly before huffing. ''Happy birthday...that's the only thing you thought about when I asked you if you had something to say ?'' he angrily asked. ''I was expecting...I wasn't expecting that !''

Alec had to admit that it was lame.

''It's because Max told me about it and when you asked about _something_ I...well...I immediately thought about it,'' he said sheepishly.

''I really wanted to celebrate it with you,'' murmured Magnus.

Alec ignored the pain in his chest. ''You managed to celebrate with your friends as every year,'' he stated.

When he looked up, Magnus was already gazing at him with a look Alec didn't like.

''You seem so unaffected by what happened,'' he claimed with a frown. ''Did you find someone else?''

Alec blinked. ''You think I'm able to find someone else?'' he asked incredulously.

''You managed to find me,'' said Magnus. ''So? Your neighbor told me you were not often home...''

''For work...what about you?''

Magnus raised his eyebrows. ''I told you that I still loved you so no.''

Alec had never heard it so many time and this close together, he envied his ability to be able to say those words easily. His heart jumped a little too happily at the thought that Magnus had not found someone else.

''Yet, Jace told me that Clary and Catarina wanted you to find someone else, they all wanted to find you someone else.''

Magnus smirked. ''What a way to support a sibling,'' he marveled.

''You're friends, friendship is important.''

''I always thought it was more of brotherhood,'' he said with a strange smile. ''And I have not succumbed to anyone else if you want to know, but I doubt that it really interests you.''

Alec frowned. He had told him that he loved him before they parted in front of the Palace.

''And what if I care?''

''You're not showing it.''

Alec was about to gather his courage to tell him those three little precious words that could cause a huge impact when he felt Magnus legs closing around his. They stayed lengthily like this without moving and Alec thought it was time to ask for the bill.

''I doubt that you're unhurt from your argument with your father... or even with our separation.... Did you miss me?'' Magnus suddenly asked.

Alec blinked and narrowed his eyes. ''Will my answer change something?''

''Yes.''

''You know what I'm alluding to?'' asked Alec suspiciously.

''Seems you're the only one who didn't understand what I meant earlier.''

''I did.''

''You did what?''

''I did miss you,'' Alec said averting his eyes.

Magnus smirked. ''Good, I missed you too and a lot.''

''So you forgive me?''

''That will be too easy Alexander, you have to make up for it.''

''But you know everything now,'' Alec retorted with a frown.

''No, I don't know everything. You only talked about what was convenient for you and not about what was hidden under.''

''What do you mean ?''

''You can abuse someone with words,'' Magnus declared carefully. ''And do not tell me otherwise, I saw your father many times and I heard some things from your siblings, besides I had a taste at the airport and just by the mere fact that your name was mentioned.''

 _So what?_ Alec wanted to say it wasn't unusual to have heard hurtful words from his father. Maybe the saddest was that he got used to it.

''So if I tell you everything, you'll forgive me?''

Magnus sighed. ''I want you to tell me because you trust me not because you want to be forgiven at all costs.''

''I trust you,'' Alec retorted defensively.

''Show me then.''

''I will,'' he grumbled.

Magnus slightly smiled and grabbed one of his hands to intertwine their fingers together. Alec carefully avoided the amusement of the server when his gaze fell on their hands, the look of Magnus passed from one to the other when he handed him his credit card.

''You pay?'' asked Alec.

Magnus tilted his head. ''You can afford to pay?'' he teased.

Alec still had some of Lydia's money but he didn't say it. Not yet, he knew he had to talk about their friendship but later.

It was already late and Alec wanted to sleep, he was already ready to say goodbye to Magnus but the latter wanted to go on a walk. The weather was good and the streets busy, giving increasingly to Alec the desire to hole up at home.

''Will it be the same?'' he managed to ask.

''No,'' Magnus said simply.

Alec's throat tightened, their relationship was this damaged that it was impossible to fix?

''I hope it will be better,'' he finally added. ''Things were not that well between us, you didn't trust me and we didn't communicate either.... Sometimes you kissed me to shut me up when I wanted to talk about the subjects that you didn't like... and I let you do it because I liked it and I wanted you to love me...''

 _So he had noticed..._ Alec winced, mortified by what he had just heard.

''That's why I was surprised when you said you loved me...I...well...I wanted to hear those words but not like this, I felt as if I forced you to say them,'' Magnus added with a sad smile.

Alec tensed up, wondering if he had to say them again. Magnus realized his trouble and rolled his eyes.

''Tell them when you're ready but I know you do either way you wouldn't have slept with me, right?''

''I don't think so,'' Alec answered slightly embarrassed.

Magnus stopped and looked at him with a frown. ''You don't think so?''

''No,'' Alec said uncertainly.

Magnus lengthily stared at him. ''Anyway, things need to change between us.''

Alec nodded, he knew and hoped that this time he wouldn't ruin it again. He was surprised but relieved and reassured that Magnus still wanted him

''You can kiss me if you want,'' Magnus seriously said.

''What kind of kiss?'' asked Alec with a smile.

Magnus' grin widened. ''Do you have many of them?''

''You know them.''

''I forgot, show them to me.''

''You know them, you introduced them to me.''

''I never kissed me so I can't tell,'' replied Magnus while embracing him.

Alec smiled and slipped his hands around his waist, looking carefully at his face and frowned. ''What about the others?''

Magnus frowned and let out an exasperated groan. ''I want my kiss I don't care about the others!''

Alec rolled his eyes and put his lips on his. He savored this simple contact and slowly exhaled through his nose. Magnus was not moving and still held firmly from the bottom of his shirt slightly crumpling it in his hands. Blue eyes into yellowish-green ones conferred an intensity to this simple peck. Apart from their hands and mouth, nothing else was touching.

He moved his lips, still lengthily kissing him. Magnus' ones pressed a little more against his and Alec couldn't suppress a smile. Magnus had closed his eyes, perhaps to savor it better and Alec, forgetting that they were in the streets, gently pushed him against a wall.

Magnus opened his eyes a surprised look in them while Alec slightly opened his mouth to kiss him a little more passionately. His lips and jaw busied themselves and Magnus drew him closer. Their kisses were still under control and when Alec realized that now their tongues were involved, he stopped and kissed Magnus' swollen lips softly one last time.

''I want to be kissed like this more often,'' the latter claimed still holding him closely.

Alec's smile widened. He could feel a change now in him as if he was lighter, as if all his problems were behind him. And they were behind him, lurking in the shadows and buried deep inside him. He didn't pay attention to it but he felt that sooner or later it would destroy him slowly and gradually.

His problems were minimal at present, there were only the consequences and Alec didn't know if he would succeed in talking about them. He still refused to rethink about what had happened with his father and underestimated the impact it had on him, it was as if everything was fine when it was not yet the case.

''It's getting late,'' he managed to say.

''I don't work tomorrow.''

''I do and I'm tired.''

Magnus cupped his cheek. ''Can I sleep at your place?''

Alec blinked. ''My bed is not comfortable.''

Honey and Lydia who sat there had regretted it, but not as Alice who said that a spring had certainly pierced her implant buttocks. And not as Max who already slept in the said bed.

''I don't care,'' said Magnus.

Alec stared at him suspiciously, hoping that Magnus wouldn't make him talk about what happened or something related to the contracts. But he knew he would because everything was far from being told, Alec just had to delay that fateful moment and talk about his birthday and vacation in the Caribbean.

 

Magnus said nothing even when seeing inside but made the same comment as Max.

''Where are all your books?'' he asked with concern.

''He took everything, it was part of the process.''

''You let him dispossess you of absolutely everything?''

Alec's throat tightened and he unfolded the bed '' You can wash first,'' he quietly said.

 

''I feel like I have to tame you again, '' Magnus stated with a displeased look. ''Come closer I won't eat you.''

Both of them were in their underwear and Alec reluctantly moved closer as seeing Magnus like this had some effect on him.

''You've lost weight,'' noticed Magnus.

''No.''

''It wasn't a question,'' the latter specified while touching his hip.

Standing and side by side, they carefully looked at the other to notice any bodily change. Magnus' stare wandered shamelessly on Alec's body, lingering here and there and especially on his tattoos. With the thumb, Magnus traced the outline of the end of the part sticking out of his black underwear and approached to kiss his shoulder where the Sun and the Moon were.

Magnus went to bed, wincing, perhaps Alec should have specified that the side where he was lying was the worst one but that he had the most comfortable cushion. He turned off the light and slipped into the bed in a din of squeaks. He winced when he felt Magnus' hands around him and sighed contentedly, nesting in his head in the crook of his neck, like before.

Alec shyly stuck the rest of his body against him and Magnus kissed his forehead while firmly embracing him against him.

''So, how were your birthday and your vacation?'' Alec murmured against his neck.

Magnus snorted. ''Awful, there were only couples around me and I didn't want to go to the Caribbean... or celebrate my birthday with all these people, I barely knew the majority of them. It was messed up.''

Alec smiled and lulled by Magnus' voice, warmth and smell began to doze while Magnus was telling him what he had done since their separation. In order to not arouse his suspicions, Alec hummed from time to time, hoping it would keep him awake but failed and fell asleep in Magnus' arms.

He awoke in the middle of the night, he didn't know if it was the sound of the sirens in the street or the presence of Magnus in his bed that had awakened him. He turned towards Magnus as quietly as possible and noticed that he was also awake. _Did he sleep?_ Maybe the light from the lighting in the street had prevented him from sleeping, unless it was the bed's fault.

''Your bed is killing me and I wouldn't even call that a bed,'' Magnus whispered.

Alec snorted, slipped an arm through his and stroked his back to soothe the pain away. Magnus took the opportunity to roll half on him, as if he was more comfortable and maybe Alec was.

''You're so delicate,'' Alec teased still stroking his back.

Magnus hummed contentedly and nuzzled his head into his neck, then he inhaled lengthily.

Alec couldn't sleep and Magnus didn't seem to want to sleep either.

''Did they talk about Robert?'' he asked.

Magnus moved and caressed his sides. ''Between them, I wasn't supposed to listen... but that didn't prevent me from doing it... I would have said _go and fuck yourself_ to him a long time ago. I don't know how you managed to deal with him and being your father is not an excuse.''

''Go and fuck yourself?'' Alec repeated with a smile, he would have never dared to say it.

''Want to talk about what happened ?'' Magnus encouraged him by kissing his neck.

''You mean the confrontation?''

''I want to know everything and since the beginning. What you felt, what you did, what he said ... everything.''

Alec frowned, not knowing where to start or how to say things. In a stilted voice, while Magnus dropped light kisses into his collarbones, he told as if he was narrating the life of someone else. He felt weird to reveal so much, almost vulnerable, and almost embarrassed to say everything. He spoke about Jace, his arrival in the family, their relationship, the one he had with his family. He talked about the expensive watch he had to give back even if he didn't love it, to what Magnus said he liked it but that he would buy him another one. He spoke of the signing and the words his father had for him, what had ensued, the second contract and Lydia.

''Why this second contract?'' Magnus interrupted him. ''It wasn't so different from the first... and I didn't bring it, they must be at the bottom of my garbage can.''

''Remember when I asked you not to leave marks on my neck?''

Magnus growled.

''I think he was suspicious... he waited for me one night in front of the door and almost begged me to say that I was with a girl ... Lydia was a punishment for me to put me back on the right path, and then he made me understand that Clary didn't suit Jace and the Lightwoods... ''

Magnus snorted. '' Clary didn't suit him? He offered her an overpriced painting!''

''I know... ''

''And after ?''

Alec carried on, talked about the monitoring, Donovan, his mother, their breakup, Jace's call which had in one way or another helped a bit.

''Robert thought I wasn't bisexual?''

''Apparently not, but he was more shocked by the fact that you were interested in me because I'm worse than everyone else. It was unthinkable for him and that may be what allowed him to bury his head in the sand... I don't know,'' Alec murmured.

Magnus remained strangely silent and suddenly nosed him to force him to continue.

''And what did he say?''

''Nothing unusual. ''

''What is unusual for you, that you're not normal? That you're a bad son?''

Alec sighed. '' He said he should have got rid of me from the beginning and I made him lose his precious time ... and that I should have never been born, that's all, '' he said in a neutral tone.

Magnus straightened. ''That's all?'' he huffed.

''Yeah, that's all.''

Magnus sat and Alec did the same.

''Alexander...you...''

''I'm frustrating you?'' he suggested.

''If you knew,'' Magnus smirked. ''What did you feel? Tell me, voice what you felt all this time, you didn't talk about what you felt and not even once. You're only telling me facts since earlier!''

Alec opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, maybe Jace was right He was emotionally constipated. He couldn't even say _I love you_ to the person he loved.

''What did you do when you heard that? Were you upset? What did you do?'' Magnus insisted on helping him externalize what he felt.

''Nothing.''

Magnus took his hands and shook it vigorously. ''That's the problem you didn't do anything, you put up with everything and you let yourself do... You were frustrated at the restaurant earlier, you were angry, I saw it and I heard it,'' he said more lightly.

''You made me angry.''

''I was provoking you and you answered me quite well... So? Go ahead, I'm listening. I won't judge you if that's what you're afraid of. ''

Alec concentrated all his attention on Magnus' fingers and crossed his legs. He unconsciously played with them, entwining them together, tracing the outline of his hands with his fingers...and Magnus waited patiently.

''I felt rejected, I was rejected '' Alec finally said hoarsely. ''And it hurt...I felt like I have been good for nothing and that I was nothing. I can't breathe just thinking about everything... and... I'm angry with him and Izzy and Jace. They always go through everything.''

Alec had awkwardly blurted out his thoughts, already regretting having voiced them.

''Are you jealous?'' Magnus finally asked calmly while stroking his knee.

''Yes.''

''Why ?''

Alec was relieved that the room was sufficiently immersed in the dark that they couldn't distinguish their faces clearly.

''They're better. They have always been better. Most gifted, too, you should have heard him boast their merits in front of Lydia's parents...and then... I felt betrayed when he said he wouldn't disinherit them because ultimately they will always be better whatever I do...''

''Do you hate them ?''

''Of course not.''

''Do you hate Robert ?''

Alec didn't answer.

''It's not because it's your father that you should feel obliged to love him,'' 'Magnus murmured, still touching his knee. ''Do you feel better?''

''A little,'' admitted Alec who felt lighter and less oppressed by the weight in his chest.

''You can cry if you want.''

''I won't cry,'' he protested with a frown.

''It could relieve you, you know to vent your frustration out, what you bottled up...''

Alec looked down, wondering why he had immediately thought about his sexual frustration. He tried to think of something else.

''I almost cry,'' Magnus confided in. ''When I saw Chairman Meow. ''

Alec's eyes widened and his heart missed a beat. ''Something happened to Chairman Meow?''

''It's because of Simon, he couldn't come with us and he asked to feed him during my absence...'' he sighed. '' He overfed him so much, he's so fat now... he came to me with his little belly touching the ground,'' Magnus moaned in a painful tone.

Alec laughed imagining a chubby Chairman Meow.

''He's on a diet now, '' said Magnus by lying down in a growl.

Alec laid by his side, facing him.

''What made you decide to tell me finally about the contracts and attach the keys to them?''

Alec didn't answer, which made Magnus sigh.

''You have a tongue, it would be better to use it to talk,'' he teased.

''Did you hate me ?''

''No...I was angry and mad at you but it wasn't hatred, I actually still have your stuff and the books that you left home, you still own something at least,'' murmured Magnus.

They were silent for a moment, listening to the breathing of the other and the outside noise.

''It's really not isolated here.''

''I got used to it.''

''You will speak to Izzy and Jace?''

''Yes.''

''Good,’’ said Magnus moving closer to kiss him.

''Do you think we would have still break-up if it weren't for all this?''

Magnus stopped kissing him and looked up. ''We barely got back together and you talk about breaking up?''

''Sorry.’’

They remained tightly entwined and Alec wondered if there was any rule after a reconciliation which prohibited them from sleeping together immediately. Maybe Magnus didn't want it, or was too tired, or thought it was too soon. Alec felt oddly sexually frustrated and wanted to touch him much more, as he felt released from a weight.

Just touching would be enough or rubbing at each other, the more he thought about it, the more his imagination was racing. Magnus' heat and smell disrupting him a lot, Alec gently detached himself from the latter and as quietly as possible moved as far from Magnus as possible to keep his thoughts pure and his body under control.

And it wasn’t so bad because Alec had nothing that could let them have sex at his place and his bed was far from being that great. Besides, he needed to sleep.

When he awoke, it was still dark and his eyelids were heavy. Alec turned and gave a violent nudge in Magnus' stomach, who groaned in pain.

“Sorry,” Alec immediately apologized.

He didn’t expect to find him this close and touched the area in pain and stroke it to soothe the pain away.

''You managed to sleep at least?''

''You think I can sleep on such a bed?''

''It's still a bed.''

Magnus hugged him and slipped a leg between his.

''It still hurts, give me a magic kiss.''

Alec snorted. ‘'You're a little big for that, don't you think? You're twenty-nine you know, time to behave,'' he teased, but it didn't prevent him to go down and kiss the painful area on Magnus' stomach. ''Here we go, a magic kiss,'' he said resting his head back on his cushion.

‘'My mouth is in pain too,’’ Magnus added kissing him.

 _Not only your mouth_ , thought Alec feeling his boner against his hips. He slipped his arm around his waist and brought down his other hand to touch him through his underwear. Magnus sighed and kissed him more passionately.

''Seems like you’re in pain too,’’ Magnus whispered against his neck by also putting down his hand to touch him.

The rule ' _not the neck_ ' was no longer respected and Magnus bit, sucked and licked his neck as he wanted.

‘'Do you want a magic kiss?’’ he asked squeezing him harder.

 _A magic kiss?_ Alec wanted one, he replied enthusiastically with his hips. Magnus smiled, made him roll on his back and crushed him with his weight, making the bed creak and Alec winced when he felt the springs dig into his back.

He thought his magic kiss wouldn't happen at all with the way Magnus was kissing him and pressed himself against him, rolling his hips into his. Alec stifled a groan when he began to kiss his torso, biting and sucking his skin, until he reached his navel.

His mouth went to the elastic of his underwear, and Alec held his breath when Magnus licked the space between his navel and the said underwear, then he lengthily breathed out when Magnus grazed his hip with his teeth.

‘'You don’t wriggle, more comfortable in the dark, aren’t you?’’ said Magnus in a hoarse voice.

‘'Or I really want my magic kiss,’’ Alec managed to murmur with a voice that he hoped wasn’t too demanding.

Magnus muffled his laughter against his belly and nibbled him through the fabric, taking his time and taking a malicious delight in torturing him by touching him as he currently did. He bit the inside of his thighs in several places and slid his fingers inside the underwear at the legs level.

Alec inhaled and exhaled, forcing himself to stay calm despite his growing impatience whereas Magnus had fun by closing his mouth along his member as if he was gnawing a bone. Alec, who couldn’t bear it anymore, groaned.

‘'If you hurry, I could give you a magic kiss there too,’’ he growled while clinging to his hair.

Magnus’ teeth sank a little more into his flesh and his hands went on his thighs to pull his underwear. Alec shuddered when he felt his mouth over his naked manhood and closed his eyes, while Magnus ran his hands down his thighs and hips.

His breathing became jerky and he began to move his hips upwards, while Magnus' fingers dug into his skin. Alec stared at what Magnus was currently doing and bit his lip, regretting that there was no more light altogether.

Panting, he threw his head back on his cushion whereas Magnus kissed his thigh after swallowing and rested his forehead against his hip bone. Alec, who found this position awkward, tried to free himself from his grip but Magnus were still holding him firmly.

''So...can I have my magic kiss now?'' he asked calmly against his hip.

Alec smiled, the head still clouded in the last remains of mist that had given him his release. _What if I suck at it?_ He suddenly thought. _But practice makes perfect, right?_

However, his breathing became regular, his heart rate stabilized, his eyelids grew heavier and shut themselves. He barely held back a yawn and quietly fell asleep. He didn’t hear Magnus’ surprised and frustrated growl, nor did he heard his bed creak, much less than he felt the arm that wrapped around his waist and the lips that kissed his shoulder.

Alec dreamed of a chubby Chairman Meow perched on a huge pile of books where on the floor were torn such small pieces of paper that it looked like confetti.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Max and Magnus make a good team, don't you think? And it will be slightly awkward the morning after as Magnus didn't have his magic kiss hehehehehehehe! (I really wanted them to go back together as naturally as possible, almost as before, and that Alec dares finally to confide in what he had felt and still feel)  
> Maryse finally began to take action, maybe Izzy and Jace will do the same! Stay tuned if you want to know what will happen as Robert is still lurking around!
> 
> (Poor Max, what was hidden from him and what he was looking for unswerving before was put blatancy on his bed because Maryse wanted to use it to win him back and to make sure that he'll choose her side...I feel sad for writing it this way, I should feel sad for many things actually)
> 
> Next chapter: 'The truth has been spoken' in two weeks (25th)!
> 
> You can guess that Magnus was angry after discovering what was inside his mail box but there's a reason if it wasn't written or anything like that because it's from Alec's point of view and because I may write a bonus chapter with Magnus' point of view of everything since his first meeting with Alec - as I said in some comments, I thought about it a lot-.  
> If you're curious about his vacation, what he did with Max and the others, how he really reacted when he saw a chubby Chairman Meow and the contracts...you'll like it! But it will mainly focus on Alec through Magnus' eyes so maybe you'll like it even more! It will be long but not that much and in one chapter divided in parts.  
> Anyway, I'll add them after chapter 16 where the story will officially end ! :)
> 
> And thank you all for your kudos and comments! You're still there and it means a lot so thank you again!


	15. The Truth has been spoken

~~~~Alec painfully opened his eyes when he heard the doorbell ring. At first he thought it was his alarm clock and he wasn't the only one. He stiffened when the bed began to move and creak whereas he was motionless, and he suddenly remembered that he wasn't alone. Magnus hated being awakened this way. This was why, in a cacophony of grinding noise, Magnus moved to the edge of the bed to violently knock down with his hand the innocent alarm clock. He growled when he realized that the noise was coming from the door.

Alec would have smiled but he didn't have the strength, he was way too tired. The doorbell rang again and seeing that he didn't intend to move, Magnus got up reluctantly. Alec's half opened eyes closed themselves to remain sealed.

‘'Why is everything awful here,’’ Magnus muttered while going to open the door.

‘'You’re not Sweetheart,’’ noticed a deep and drawling voice.

''Obviously not,’’ said Magnus in an amused tone.

''I came here to give him the cookies I baked,’’ said Honey.

''Cookies?’’

''My cookies are delicious! Perhaps you remember me, I’m Honey, we saw each other the day before yesterday.’’

''I remember, I’m Magnus, Sweetheart’s boyfriend.’’

Alec frowned when he heard Honey hysterical giggle and narrowed his eyes that he had trouble to open. He made out a distant hubbub of words and the door finally closed and a peaceful silence settled back again.

''They’re not that delicious,’’ Magnus mumbled with a full mouth.

A good scent filled Alec's nostrils who frowned slightly as he felt the bed sink in the side where he was. Something touched his forehead, removing the hair locks that had to hide his face. Magnus finger went down along his cheek, touched the corner of his mouth and traced the outline of his jaw in a tender gesture. Alec groaned and winced when he felt a warm, ticklish touch on his chest and butterfly kisses along his tattoos.

''You don't have to work today? '' Magnus murmured.

He smelled like cookies, it was perhaps what made Alec open his eyes. The latter bit into a cookie that Magnus was offering him with a grin and chewed slowly.

''Alexander?''

''Hmm?''

''You told me yesterday you had to work today.''

Alec had almost forgotten FancyB.

He straightened painfully and blinked while Magnus got up to go into the kitchen. He stayed in a sitting position in bed for five minutes until he identified the black thing on the floor which looked strikingly like the undergarment he was wearing yesterday evening and that got removed by Magnus.

He tried to remember in details what they had done and had to admit that he kept no memory of him trying to give back a magic kiss to Magnus. Because it never happened, he thought mortified. He couldn't believe that he had fallen asleep as fast and as simple as that after being satisfied. Alec felt lame and cast a worried look at Magnus who was crouched in his underwear in front of the empty fridge in search of food.

Alec thought it would be better to take a shower.

Purple marks were covering his body, especially in the neck, and he wondered how he would manage to hide them at his workplace. It was too hot to wear a scarf or something covering now and then Alec realized that nobody -like his father- would look at him in a wrong way because of that, if not well-meaning people and himself, uncomfortable at the mere idea of people staring at him.

They were back together and Alec's mouth curved into a little smile, a smile that immediately faded when he remembered everything he had confessed, encouraged by Magnus, their proximity and the comforting darkness that had enveloped them. With a groan, Alec pressed his forehead against the cold wall of the shower.

He lamely fell asleep as soon as Magnus finished him. He was not sure if he wanted to leave the bathroom.

But he had to, especially when the bathroom became a sauna and Magnus knocked, worried whether he had fallen asleep and drowned. It was only when he wiped himself that he noticed that he hadn't taken any clothes with him. Alec took a deep breath and wrapped his towel around his hips, unless he asked Magnus to bring him clothes to wear but he wouldn't know where to look for them.

He stormed out and walked to his closet looking for clothes to wear. He grabbed a black boxer brief randomly and stopped what he was doing by taking a quick glance at Magnus, who continued to eat cookies while drinking a cup of tea, his eyes entirely focused on him.

''A problem? Do you feel embarrassed to dress in front of my eyes? '' he asked almost innocently.

_Yes._

It was true that it could seem foolish after the intimate moments they had already shared.

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''It didn't stop you to go stark naked to shower.''

''I wasn't fully awake,'' he tried to justify with embarrassment.

''Then stay not fully awake, dress up and eat or you'll be late.''

Alec took advantage of his inattention to dress up and once he put his pants on, raised his head. Magnus was watching him and had deliberately pretended not to observe him, to have a better look at him. He didn't look away, Alec was the one to do so to put on a gray t-shirt, and he walked towards the table which was so small that Magnus occupied it entirely and nonchalantly with his legs and arms. He was still not dressed and seemed in no hurry to be.

Magnus gazed at him attentively with his astonishing and tired eyes, Alec wondered what head he should have in this case, he didn't pay any attention to his look above the neck earlier in front of the mirror.

''Honey brought cookies for Sweetheart, '' Magnus said with a smirk when Alec took one.

''You opened the door like this? '' he inquired by soaking it in his cup of coffee after sitting.

Honey would fantasize about Magnus' body for months, and it was enough, but Alec wasn't sure to like it.

''I shouldn't have?''

Alec shrugged and took a banana. He didn't remember he had some, as he could see it with its dark color. A mischievous spark appeared in Magnus' eyes who patiently waited for him to eat it.

''You owe me a magic kiss,'' he said while taking his hand which was holding the banana, for leaning it toward him and be able to steal a bite.

Alec blinked, looked at Magnus who chewed the piece of fruit he had stolen from him and stared at him stupidly before feeling a horrible rash spread all over his face.

Magnus had chosen the right moment to talk about what had happened.

''I know you were tired but I didn't expect you to fall asleep as soon as I gave you head and before you could do me one.''

Magnus' grin widened when he saw Alec's embarrassment.

''Next time?'' Alec suggested. ''At a time more suitable than my breakfast,'' he added quickly, seeing Magnus open his mouth and his eyes shine with a lustful glow.

''When is next time?''

''When it will happen.''

Magnus grinned with his predatory smile whereas Alec didn't know if he would eat a banana soon without thinking about Magnus.

 

''You really believe it was too fast between us? '' asked Magnus sharply while doing the dishes whereas Alec was making the bed.

He froze, looking for an appropriate answer.

''I don't know, it's more like I wasn't ready.''

''Not ready for living with me? Everything went well between us, no?'' Magnus said with a frown.

Alec furrowed his brows, he couldn't believe they were talking about this again. It was not as if Magnus was expecting them to live together now that they were back together, right?

''Yes, but...''

''But what?'' said Magnus while closing the tap.

Alec winced. The fact was that he liked to have his private place or even space but it was true that it went well the nights or even the few days he spent at Magnus' place before. But Alec was boring and Magnus would have soon noticed how boring he was if they had moved in together. If they had moved in together, Alec wasn’t sure they could have continued. They had their habits and were really different, Magnus was conciliatory, Alec too, but for how long? Their differences would surely have ended up dividing them.

''Please don't tell me you think that our ways of living are incompatible,'' sighed Magnus throwing the dish towel into the sink and moving towards him.

''A little, no?''

''No.''

They stared at each other and Alec did his best to look at Magnus in the eyes and not let his gaze wander over his half naked body.

''I'll be late,'' Alec murmured.

''Where are you working?'' Magnus asked while dressing up.

''FancyB…I mainly know how to swear in German now.''

Magnus smiled. ''Do you like it?''

''It’s better.''

''More exhausting too. ''

''It will soon be less.''

Magnus ran his hand through his hair in a weary gesture while Alec stared at him from the corner of the eye.

''You could get some sleep? '' he asked noticing his dark circles.

Magnus smirked. ''Not as much as you and even less after you let me in such a state, I don’t know how you manage to sleep on it but I'm sure that the floor is more comfortable. ''

Alec rolled his eyes. ''You could try the floor next time if you want, '' he retorted to defend his bed.

''We’ll test it together,'' promised Magnus with a kiss. ''And don't forget my magic kiss.''

Alec smiled against his lips and kissed him back.

''What about eating outside tonight?'' Magnus suggested between two pecks on his chin.

Alec nodded and Magnus lengthily kissed him on the neck, making Alec closed his eyes to enjoy better and savor the warmth and affection he had missed so much.

 

For once, Alec wasn’t early but he wasn’t late either. His colleagues all looked at him with surprise and amusement.

''Seems like someone had fun last night,'' snickered Laura.

Alec frowned, taking the cup of coffee Victor handed to him. He didn’t understand first where their eyes converged. His hand immediately went to his neck in a gesture that was meant to be modest.

''Girlfriend?''

''Boyfriend,'' he corrected automatically and quietly.

Eyes down, he took refuge in his office with a hand still pressed against his neck. He couldn’t restrain a sigh of relief at the thought of finally being by himself. Those three days had unusually been too intense for him, he needed a mental break to think about something else.

The situation seemed quite unrealistic, he had to admit. He even wondered how come Magnus still wanted him, Alec was almost grateful to be still wanted but felt bad for falling asleep the night before. He buried his head in his hands with a groan.

A lot happened recently and his brain couldn't deal with it anymore, Alec tried to think about something else.

And he thought so much about something else that he forgot Izzy and Jace, as he realized, when coming out from the subway. He almost stopped walking and bit his lip anxiously. He still didn’t know what to say and even less what he had to say. Actually, Alec was only thinking about sleeping to feel at ease about what had happened and what would happen if he opened his mouth. At the idea of all those thoughts that were going to assault his mind, he began to have a headache.

He met Honey who was dressed as a business person in high heels, in the stairs.

''Sweetheart! How were the cookies with this boyfriend of yours? This caramel-hot person is so hot, you could have told us you know, we wouldn't have been jealous!'' he said with a huge grin.

Embarrassed, Alec politely smiled trying to hide his neck as discreetly as possible.

''I heard you last night, seems like you had a lot of fun.''

Alec froze and blinked. _Heard you? What did he hear?_ His bed wasn’t this loud, they weren’t so noisy... Honey gave him a wink and continued on his merry way as if nothing had happened, before turning and throwing a pointed glance towards his behind.

''What a pity,'' he murmured.

 _I need to change my bed,_ Alec thought with mortification while climbing quickly the last steps to reach his floor.

He had only one desire to wallow in bed before going out with Magnus.

But karma decided otherwise because Jace and Izzy were waiting for him in front of his door. Alec stood stupidly motionless, too surprised to react or even hide. He felt like Ebenezer Scrooge when he was visited by the three spirits. He didn't know what to do. He felt like an eternity had passed since the last time he had seen them.

Jace had tanned skin, emphasizing the gold of his hair and his eyes, and was still as beautiful as ever despite his sullen face whereas Izzy was still pale and was wearing a pretty tight dress that must have cost a fortune as enhanced by her purse and high heels. Like Max she sported a nice sunburn on her nose and shoulders.

''Look who's here,'' Jace said with a mocking tone when he met his anxious glance.

Alec automatically went backward with three steps, ready to run away. But Izzy's eyes pinned him on the spot, preventing him from moving more.

''Hi?''

''Hi indeed,'' she said in a haughty tone. ''It looks like Magnus came by...''

''You lost your tongue? Robert took it too?'' joked Jace, which earned him a glare from Alec.

''He used it too much with Magnus,'' Izzy smirked by looking at him again. ''And if you let us get inside Alec? We have a lot to say to each other. ''

The latter lengthily looked at them to determine their state of mind which seemed neither too aggressive nor too sarcastic, and he pulled out his keys reluctantly unable to say a word, feeling quickly oppressed by the intense look of his siblings on the least of his actions. Jace jumped when Izzy accidentally pressed the doorbell with her shoulder, and winced when he heard his sinister sound.

''Since when you're living here? ''

''Not long,'' he finally said.

''Max told us that you no longer had your books, '' Jace declared, looking at him straight in the eye.

''I had nothing left, he took everything. ''

''You still got nothing, '' Jace corrected by discovering the inside.

Izzy followed him and explored the small apartment with a dubious look. ''Oh, Alec, '' she murmured, giving him a pained glance.

''I hope you don't have anything planned because it will be long,'' warned Jace while touching his sofa with a grin.

Izzy rolled her eyes when she saw his face and took out her phone.

''So Magnus and you, you're back together for good?'' she asked with a little smile.

''Apparently given the state of his neck,'' snorted Jace who snatched her phone from her hands to bring it to his ear. ''Hi Magnus, it's Jace. Alec is ours tonight so back off.''

''Jace,'' Izzy and Alec scolded him in a single voice when he hung up suddenly.

Izzy took back her phone, glaring at him, and scarcely it was in her hands that it rang.

''Yeah, sorry he's a dumbass but you're already aware of that, don't you?'' she said looking up at the ceiling. ''I'll put him on. Magnus wants to talk to you,'' she added, holding out her phone to Alec.

Alec took a deep breath. ''Yeah?''

''So no rendezvous between lovers tonight? '' said Magnus' amused voice.

''No.''

''What about tomorrow then?''

''Let's do that.''

''You look a little tense.''

''I am.''

Magnus chuckled before continuing on a more serious tone. ''You'll tell them everything I hope, and don't be afraid to influence them or to be responsible for anything...they are big enough.''

''Hmm.''

''How was your day ?''

''Normal...what about yours?''

Jace rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. ''Come on, we won't spend the night, hang up. ''

''Let me talk to Jace, '' Magnus suddenly said and Alec awkwardly obeyed him, and almost hit Jace with Izzy's phone.

It was his sister's turn to roll her eyes. ''Think about my battery,'' she grumbled.

''It's okay we won't steal Alec from you, we'll just have a decent and meaningful conversation, '' complained Jace while looking at his hand. His mouth formed an 'O' and his eyes narrowed. ''No matter what, he would have never found someone else. Alec is a bit like a faithful dog, he wouldn't have gone elsewhere looking for someone else,'' he insisted.

Alec narrowed his eyes.

''Well, it's true, right? Catarina and Clary were ready to find you someone else...it was to make him react!'' sighed Jace with an exceeded glare for Alec as if he was responsible for the situation he was in.

Izzy chimed in and took back her phone angrily before bringing it to her ear. ''Magnus says you're an asshole Jace,'' she told an amused look. ''Yeah I know he looks like a zombie, I'm sure you're responsible for his state,'' she snorted. ''Yeah, whatever, we'll eat outside, talk and bring him back and let him sleep...Yes, I know,'' she said before humming.

And she hung up before putting her phone back in her purse.

''All it needs are guns and we would be like in the Far West,'' Jace smirked referring to their triangular position.

''I would rather say the three musketeers who discovered that there was a big big sly little fox among them and he believed he could fool everyone,'' stated Izzy slightly tilting her head. ''You thought it would last a long time Alec?''

''He really believed it would, too bad for you it didn't last, nothing last Alec,'' added Jace before correcting himself. ''Except relationship when it works and friendship and...''

''Shut up, you sound more and more like Simon, '' Izzy blurted out on an exasperated tone and she bit her lips as if speaking to Simon was forbidden or a painful subject.

Alec was pretty sure that he would have the time to run away but he didn't think about it when he should have think about it. He realized that he had missed this opportunity and cursed himself inwardly.

''Let's go and eat,'' finally said Jace. ''We won't fit here and I doubt there's anything in the fridge.’’

He was right, Alec didn’t have anything to eat and no room for three people inside his apartment. Izzy made a nod to Jace, who stood behind him, then led the march. Alec found himself stuck between them, like a prisoner who would be tortured.

They left the apartment and went down the stairs in a deadly silent when suddenly Izzy stopped abruptly and turned towards Alec with a frown.

''We didn't hug,'' she stated as if she just remembered that they haven't seen each other for a while and that in normal circumstances they would have already hugged each other.

Alec blinked surprised and moved backward. He almost crushed Jace's foot who leaned on his shoulders.

''He'll have a hug if he confesses everything and Magnus have cuddled him enough, '' Jace grumbled with a sharp tone. ''Move, I'm starving.''

Izzy gave him an annoyed look and continued to walk down the stairs, making Alec more anxious than he was already.

They went to a pizzeria in the neighborhood and if they had been strangely quiet at first they didn't remain this way for long. They asked him why he hadn't a new phone, where he was working, if he had enough money to live and Alec replied as simply as possible.

''I can buy you a new one,'' Jace suggested by pushing him into the pizzeria. ''But it's still with Robert's money, '' he realized.

''I don't want a new phone,'' Alec protested weakly.

''It would be handier, don't you think? '' Izzy absently said while choosing the best place possible with her eyes.

A waitress came and showed them a table near the window. Jace moved first and Izzy unceremoniously pushed Alec on the bench to sit beside him.

''Over my dead body if you want to run away,'' she crowed with a smirk. ''You know, hickeys are for high schoolers,'' she added while looking at his neck.

''He's catching up what he had missed with Magnus,'' Jace teased. ''He must teach you a lot of things.''

Alec gritted his teeth, uneasy with them making fun of him and enjoying his embarrassment.

''So,'' Izzy began to say when she looked at the menu. ''How did you get back together?''

Alec opened his and hid behind to avoid the gaze of Jace firmly fixed on him.

''We talked.''

''About what?'' asked Jace snatching the menu from him.

Alec didn't know if they had talked a lot but he certainly had been more talkative than usual.

''About us and what was wrong between us.''

Izzy's eyes converged on him. ''So no more engagement and things that had no sense.''

''No.''

Izzy smiled. ''Good, we could no longer support his squeals.''

Jace snorted. ''Ragnor said he had almost drawn up an altar with your stuff so he really missed you.''

Izzy chuckled and then her smile slowly disappeared. ''You know, we actually tried to understand what had happened and why it happened. Magnus didn't really appreciate to know that he was a collateral damage of what was going on between you and Robert. The others either, for that matter. We were mostly angry at you Alec because we didn't know what was going on, we didn't see it coming and we were caught short.''

Jace nodded. ''Imagine the head of everyone when we saw the state in which Magnus was after he caught you with a fiancée. We thought about two things: one, you were unfaithful and...uh... he has already experienced that I think so it's not surprising that he reacted very badly. And two, well you're gay but it meant for us that you didn't intend to assume anything, much less your relationship with him so...it justifies our reaction, even if we thought that with the parents who are homophobic and what they were expecting from you... it was not a surprise.''

The three of them were so close that they were almost lying on the table as if they were talking about a secret project. They sat correctly when the waitress came to take their order. They ordered the same thing, or rather Alec and Jace took the same as Izzy as she was the only one who really had read the menu.

She waited for the waitress to walk away and they resumed their former position. ''But Max told us that it was more complex between you and Robert and something was going on but he didn't know what it was.''

''Yeah,'' added Jace. ''Anyway you've never said no to Robert Alec, so that's why I...''

''You called him,'' Alec cut him off. ''I know...I heard it, you said I was a little submissive.''

Jace blinked and snickered. ''Dare to tell me the opposite.''

The waitress arrived with their drinks while Jace and Alec threw at each other a dark look.

''Guys,'' Izzy sighed. ''Anyway, we understand that you took the bull by the horns during our holiday. You better tell us everything, I friendly remind you that you have to win us back with the truth. ''

''The whole truth, '' added Jace while waggling his eyebrows.

Alec licked his lips, he was getting increasingly anxious, as enhanced by the acceleration of his heartbeat. He thought back to what Max had told him, Magnus, his mother but he still didn't know if he wanted them to know everything. It was stupid but he wouldn't want to deteriorate -the already not very great- relationship between Robert, Izzy and Jace. Although their status as favorites seemed to protect them. How would they react? Alec didn't know but was afraid they would choose Robert rather than him because they would absolutely lose everything if they chose a side and the bad one.

Then he realized that they didn't have to choose a side at all eventually. Nothing compelled them if not their future parents divorce who would suddenly argue their children love, in which they had never really cared.

Jace rolled his eyes and slumped against the seat with a sigh. ''Alec.''

Alec took a deep breath. ''Is he bothering you now with Idris?''

Jace narrowed his golden eyes and Izzy frowned. ''Why would Robert annoy us with Idris?''

Either he didn't want to bother them with such a difficult thing that was to inherit a company as big as Idris, or it didn't want any them as heirs. Alec was slightly a little confused.

Izzy snorted. ''The heir position may be vacant, he will never choose me, and much less Jace, Alec.''

Jace nodded.

''It's not what he said...'' murmured Alec.

''And what did he say?'' Izzy insisted with a skeptical look.

''He said that he would keep the good elements and you were his favorites, that's why he wouldn't disinherit you because otherwise he wouldn't have any better heirs,'' he simply said.

Jace opened his mouth like he was going to object but the waitress arrived with a big smile and put their three pizzas on the table.

''Bon appetit,'' she cheerfully said.

They looked at her with surprise and remembered that they had to smile too. Each of them put his pizza correctly in front of him and began to cut it.

''His favorites?'' Izzy smirked while staring at her pizza. ''Since when are we his favorite ones?'' she added angrily.

''Especially when there's the perfect son who does whatever he's asked to,'' Jace said. ''You are the favorite one Alec, maybe you're not now, but...''

Alec froze. ''Impossible,'' he said. ''Impossible, I wasn't. He hates me, I'm gay, lame and a less than nothing. He said it.''

Izzy and Jace exchanged a bewildered look tinted with contempt.

''Who said ' _take example on Alexander, he at least will go far, he's not like you, he thinks of the others and Idris_ '? exclaimed Jace.

''Daddy,'' Izzy answered angrily before turning towards Alec. ''He told you that when you rebelled ?''

''No, he said it quite often that you were better.''

Izzy snorted. ''And when did he say that was his favorite ones?''

''Under what circumstances?'' inquired Jace.

''When I rebelled against him,'' Alec said uncertainly.

''Hold on,'' said Jace. ''It was when? Where? What did you say ?''

''At the Palace, during a meal with the Branwells to fix the wedding date... It's little thanks to you and your call Jace that it happened when you talked about Magnus. When you said that there really were something between us... I had no right to be gay actually it was forbidden, and...uh... you explicitly stated that I had violated one of the terms of the contract. Then believe it or not but mom helped me too...it's a bit thanks to you and her that I have been able to stand against him and...''

Izzy abruptly raised her hand. '' Wait! I heard contract and mom.''

''I heard 'no right to be gay' ?'' Jace winced.

Alec did his best not to curl up on himself. He had to speak what he had started until he had to finish.

''Well,'' he finally managed to say with no confidence. ''Let's say that I had an agreement with Robert.''

''A contract ?'' clarified Jace.

''What did it say?'' Izzy asked coldly.

''That you would be disinherited by my fault if I didn't fulfill my responsibilities towards our family, I had to obey him, that's why I did whatever he wanted,'' he summed up in a voice so low that Jace and Izzy had to squint and approach.

They had heard him and were looking at him with an unreadable look in the eye.

''So you signed an agreement with Robert?'' said Jace. ''We can see it?''

''And in there there's an explicit prohibition about your sexual orientation? '' asked Izzy

Alec nodded. ''Yeah.''

''Magnus knows?''

''Yes.''

''Max too ?''

''Yes.''

''We want to read it, give.''

Alec winced. Magnus had thrown them and he didn't know if Max had kept the originals.

''Maybe Max kept them,'' he suggested.

Jace took out his phone and sent him quickly a text and laid it on the table, eagerly waiting for his answer. Three pairs of eyes were fixed on it. Until they remembered that they still hadn't touched their food which had become cold.

Hardly the screen had come to light up that Jace fell upon it greedily, Izzy suddenly stood up and walked around the table to sit on the same bench as Jace. Max was faster than would have expected Alec.

''There's two,'' commented Jace who quickly looked away from his phone to watch Alec defiantly.

Jace, and Izzy were so close to each other than their foreheads touched as if they were grafted together. Alec looked away and stared at one point, with a faraway look. The wait seemed endless, maybe the pictures were of poor quality or they reread all the umpteenth time...

''So you've met everything that was written?'' Izzy asked blankly.

''I tried.''

''Until Magnus.''

''Until Magnus.''

Izzy's face was hard, closed and Alec found himself thinking that she looked a lot like their mother.

''You were eighteen for the first one,'' Jace commented. ''When he realized I made you gay ?''

Alec slightly smiled. ''Yeah.''

''Why a second one?'' asked Izzy with a frown.

''To get me back on the right path.''

Jace put his phone in his pocket and stared into his blue eyes. ''Why didn't you let him disinherit us right from the beginning? ''

Alec blinked, surprised. It seemed clear.

''Because I didn't want you to be poor, I really thought he was going to do it.''

''He would have done it long ago if he had really wanted to disinherit us,'' Izzy muttered with a frown. ''He told us so often: ' _stop you're going out too much or I disinherit you, stop spending so much or I disinherit you_ ' it was not a threat, just empty words... ''

''He didn't care about us as long as he had you,'' Jace said with bitterness. ''Why do you think we were gorged with money? It was to make us keep quiet and to prevent us from annoying him...and what if we would have been disinherited? It doesn't really matter.''

Alec gave him a bemused look. ''That's not the impression you give.''

''The parents gave us money so we use it because we have money, if things were different we wouldn't,'' Izzy said. ''Why you haven't told us about it Alec?''

''He was afraid that we choose money rather than him,'' grumbled Jace on a wounded tone. ''He destroyed you Alec, we never would have chosen him! Did you see yourself? How could he believe he could change your sexual orientation? It all makes sense and no wonder you're so emotionally constipated.''

''I hate him,'' Izzy stated calmly.

''He doesn't hate you,'' Alec murmured. ''You should have heard him when he said I shouldn't have been born and that I was an abomination.''

''You're normal Alec, perfectly normal. And if you were abnormal we wouldn't care at all!'' Jace said. ''We love you,'' he awkwardly grumbled.

Izzy snorted. ''We love you and we know someone who's madly in love with you so...you're perfectly normal.''

They remained silent for a moment and Jace and Alec's stare met, while Izzy asked a waiter if it was possible to heat up their pizzas.

''Still,'' murmured Jace. ''It's really immature of him. When his perfect little soldier said stop, he automatically reacted with immaturity to hurt you as much as possible... He often quoted your example, you know, with Izzy and I, so you were perfect...in appearances. We never thought that your homosexuality caused difficulties that's why we were surprised and not at the same time...''

Alec opened his mouth but Jace prevented him from speaking.

''You know, he refused to let me do an internship at Idris once, I wanted to see what it was a real company... He said that only a true Lightwood could set foot there... I'm not even on the family tree ...I consider myself as a Lightwoods member but apparently I'm the only one who thought I was...''

''You're more a Lightwood than I am,'' Alec angrily said. ''And you're part of the family.''

Jace smiled. ''And when I told him that I had been accepted into the Conservatory of my dreams he asked me how much I had paid the jury.''

Izzy, who was drinking her glass of water, choked and coughed. ''What? ''

''That's because he had never heard you play,'' said Alec. ''But he praised your talents the other day in front of the Branwell, he must necessarily think that you're good.''

Jace raised skeptically an eyebrow. ''He did ?''

''Yours too,'' he pointed out to his sister. ''With your project.''

''It seems that Robert is as fickle as lunatic,'' Izzy marveled. ''And when it suits him... My project to open my company has found favor in his eyes only with the person I'm going to do it with. The Penhallows have a certain reputation, I must thank Aline and her family otherwise he wouldn't have lent me money for this project because I am incompetent for him,'' she hissed by planting her fork into her piece of bread. ''It's funny that you react only when someone hurts one of us whereas when it comes to defending yourself there's nobody,'' she smirked.

''It's because I have the self-esteem of a turtle.''

Izzy smiled and their pizzas reappeared. This time, they silently ate.

''It looks like we're holding a meeting of unloved children,'' joked Jace.

''And their overly demanding parents,'' Izzy added. ''Max is the favorite one anyway, he's the only one with who they behave like real parents.''

''They remembered their role once he was born...not before,'' noted Jace mused.

''Everything was much simpler when we were little,'' murmured Alec making Izzy and Jace nodded with fervor.

He didn't know how he managed to talk about this calmly and neutrality, as if he had exorcised all the unwanted emotions with Max and especially with Magnus. This was perhaps why he felt no need to talk further or elaborate what had happened in details, because obviously Izzy and Jace knew what it was to suffer from the contempt from a man that was their father. For each of them it had been different, but their situation was comparable.

Relieved that they knew the essential, Alec relaxed. They knew about the contracts, it was the most important thing. Regarding their mother, Alec let her get by. It didn't feel able to talk about it. It was not the time for that.

''You know,'' said Jace. ''Magnus would never have found someone else despite what I told you.''

Alec stared at him, thinking back to the time of anguish at the mere thought that Magnus would forget him in someone else's arms.

Jace spoke about Donovan and how he had come to beat him up.

''Magnus said he had met him and that he was the one who told him about your fiancée... then we thought that he was one of Robert's spies following us to inform him of our every move... because Robert knew all about us when we didn't even tell you everything.''

Alec blinked. ''You thought I informed him?''

Izzy winced. ''We did, anyway Jace hit him because he was spying on us and for the number of times he pissed me off back in school.''

Alec kept silent and listened to them talking about their vacation.

''We thought about a plan to make you react and to stop him from controlling you...we knew something was wrong but you were doing as everything was fine, we thought that we would wait until you explode. You would have eventually crack Alec, it was only a matter of time but surprise it happened faster than expected and when we were not there. Your break-up with Magnus has been good,'' Izzy declared while standing up.

Jace paid and they came out ready to go home.

''Will have to catch up and organize something between us...Catarina hosts something soon, you will be asked to come Alec,'' murmured Izzy.

Alec winced, he wasn't this sure.

''It's better between you and Simon?'' asked Jace to Izzy.

Izzy narrowed her eyes. ''And between you and Clary?'' she retorted. ''It's only for you that all is well,'' she said while facing Alec.

The latter had to admit that apparently all was well for him. If there was not this oppressive stranglehold still in his chest which he had forgotten the presence as he was accustomed to it.

''Max told me he was much more popular than you thought.''

Jace burst out laughing. ''Yup, it's true! We hadn't seen it coming and Izzy thought she would never have to compete with someone.''

Izzy huffed. ''I'll deal with him, he loves me and he did nothing with that Maia, she turns around him a bit that's all.''

Alec listened with half an ear, wondering if what he had said would change anything or not. Izzy and Jace were not very concerned with what had happened to him, They still had their privileges and their relationship with Robert was still the same. He was relieved not to have been more talkative because honestly he didn't think Izzy and Jace would go that far without money, he was convinced they wouldn't.

He could have handled things, but only thanks to Lydia and because he had never been a big spender. Alec had led a life without worrying about what he had spent or whether he would have enough to live next month. He just knew that from all he was the least spendthrift, even while buying his old books that had sometimes been able to reach a small fortune.

He had been like them, used to a comfortable life without any issue with money. It was just the shock that would be a little harder for them if they found themselves without anything because it was all that Robert had left them: money and nothing else.

Alec jumped when he was embraced.

''What are you doing?'' he exclaimed with surprise.

''We're hugging you. ''

''That's enough now, no? '' Jace said in his neck.

Alec was taken like in a sandwich, unable to move. Passersby looked at them smiling, they had to look ridiculous.

''You can go Jace,'' Izzy smirked. ''Anyway, you're not a real Lightwood.''

Alec smiled and slipped an arm behind his back to touch Jace. ''You can take my place on the family tree if you want.''

Jace snorted. ''Good idea...well that's enough cuddling for now.''

''In fact, we have money for everything you owned and a big part of your heritage, you want them back? '' asked Izzy while squeezing him harder against her.

''No, keep it I don't want it.''

''You're sure? It's very a lot even for me, almost 900,000.''

''I don't want it,'' Alec hastened to say.

''Each,'' Izzy clarified with a smirk. ''If you gathered the whole thing that's...''

Alec pulled away from their embrace with a sullen face. ''Good night. ''

 

Later in bed, he thought nervously about what he would say to Magnus and Max. They knew the basics and that was more than enough, right? They would discover the rest by themselves. And obviously, Alec wasn't the worst off. Izzy and Jace had been neglected and had received money in compensation. He thought bitterly of what they had told him: Robert either didn't believe in them and never had paid attention to them. It was why Izzy and Jace had always been able to do what they wanted.

Alec didn't know who was the most envied person between them. Maybe now Robert was finally going to be interested in one of them, and for real this time, and stop his pretense when he had said what suited to the circumstances. He might have tried to maintain a rivalry or competition between them and obviously it didn't work. Jealousy had never been visible among them, and Alec was relieved that they were all smart enough to never have been blinded by this corrosive feeling.

He snorted, thinking about what Jace and Izzy had said. Favorite one? It was ridiculous and contrary to everything that Robert had said. The perfect son? He had tried and did his best and miserably failed. His throat tightened and he buried his Face in his cushion, trying to think of anything but the squeeze that was painfully tightened inside of him.

*

Lydia was maybe the only person who could compete with his dark eye-bags as hers were as purple as his. She blinked and yawned, making Alec do the same.

''How was your week?'' he asked with a knowing smile.

''You can guess, at least I did well. I dream of a good sleep but I can’t I’m too anxious.''

Alec perfectly knew what she was talking about.

''What about you? You called them?''

Alec nodded. ''I did,'' he murmured.

Lydia put back abruptly her cup of tea. ''And ?''

''They know,'' he hastily said.

Lydia tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. ''I want details.''

''What details? They know everything concerning Robert and me.’’

''What about your neck?’' she asked with a huge grin pointing his neck with a finger. ''Sorry but it's pretty obvious, I did my best to ignore it but I can't. So ?''

Alec blushed violently and slammed his hand against his neck while stammering incoherent words where only Magnus name was understandable.

Lydia smiled with satisfaction and Alec briefly told her about him and Max.

''And you left Max and Magnus sleep on your horrible bed?'' she said while sipping her cup of tea.

Alec looked away. ''It doesn’t matter.''

''It does Alec, it sucks. You have my money you could have purchased a better bed to welcome people in... you know what I mean,'' she said with a knowing smile. ''To welcome a boyfriend for example,'' she teased.

Alec scowled and threw at her a sullen look. ''Max thinks that you're cool,'' he finally said.

''Really?'' she asked with widened eyes.

''You’re finally truly appreciated,'' he said. ‘Except with Magnus, Izzy and Jace...'' he regretted.

Lydia shrugged. ''It's not important Alec, Max thinks I'm cool, it's enough for me!'' she chirped with a big smile.

She added sugar in her cup and mixed. 'Are you feeling better now that they know?''

''A little ...but Robert told a different speech to Izzy and Jace,'' murmured Alec with a frown, repeating what he had heard.

''Really? You haven’t been spoiled with him, I agree with Jace, you know, you were a perfect little soldier who did everything he wanted you to do until you couldn't support any of that... he tried to make you perfect and couldn’t keep up with your imperfections, perhaps he saw himself in you?'' she said with a wince before shaking her head.

''The list of my shortcomings is long,'' murmured Alec. ''My homosexuality was on top of the list that's for sure.''

Lydia patted his hand. ''Nobody is perfect and Robert should have accepted you as you are. By dint of being too demanding, especially with you, he screwed you. Izzy and Jace have been lucky in a way, Robert’s indifference protected them. You were in the front line, it’s sad to say, but someone had to be there so your father could project his hopes, demands and disappointments on a victim. And Max is still young, too young for all this mess, so he’s also quite lucky.''

Alec stirred in absently and almost frantically his coffee for five minutes already.

''Your father has begun to catch up with them to find his new heir?''

''They told me no, it still didn’t happen at least...but I think it won’t be long, he’ll choose someone.''

Lydia nodded. ''What about your mother ?’’

''I quickly mentioned her but it hasn’t made a great impression...it's like she wasn’t here for them.''

''In any case, she signed the divorce papers, your father must already be aware of that. This is no joke, she requires three-quarters of his fortune for his infidelities she gathered evidence for this and with her depression, not to mention her arguments that he would be a bad husband and a bad father furthermore,'' she professionally stated with a frown. ''And so on, she has a good chance of winning.''

Alec looked up. ''Really?''

Lydia nodded. ''I find your mother frightening, she showed the contracts to your little brother to gang up against Robert, and I'm willing to bet she'll do the same with Izzy and Jace. She wants to destroy your father by using what is the most precious against him, his favorites, those who remain,'' she smirked. ''She is doing pretty well for having remained passive throughout the years, what do you want to blame her with? Being a bad mother? She caught up with you by giving you a boost and by showing Max what he wanted... I don’t know how it is for Jace and Izzy but other than being passive and always a little selfish they will have nothing to complain about... except being an idle woman who feared for her position up to now, once she made sure she wouldn’t be at risk.''

Alec put down his coffee cup and looked skeptically at her. She was right, but Maryse was still better than Robert, wasn’t she?

''She expected me to act before doing the same.''

Lydia nodded. ''She was testing the waters. ''

''She will really win?''

''Yes, she's considered like a victim who was blinded by love.''

Alec snorted. Maryse was not a victim except when it suited her.

''Your mother didn't even consider using her depression against your father, it was my mother who had this idea.''

They drank in silence and their eyes met.

''Frankly, it was a good thing our engagement even if we knew it was a lost cause,'' she claimed.

Alec smiled. '' Yeah, I have to thank Jace and Clary. ''

Lydia smiled back. ''Still no phone?''

''I intend to buy one, ' Alec confessed reluctantly.

''Finally, it will be your siblings, Magnus and I who're going to be happy! You want me to come with you?''

''Why not.''

Lydia enjoyed the honor of being the first number he registers on his brand new phone.

''You could have taken a more modern one.''

''It's modern, '' sighed Alec. ''And it's the same one that I had before.''

Lydia shrugged and nagged him to register his siblings and Magnus numbers.

''You won't send them a text to tell them your new number?'' she asked.

''Later,'' he mumbled slightly panicked.

Lydia rolled her eyes and led him toward the exit.

 

Alec went home, lost in his thought. It was the weekend, he could catch up on some sleep, do some grocery shopping... He was trying to think of random things in order to not focus on three feared things: his siblings, his parents and Magnus. But it made him wince.

''Magnus?'' he exclaimed, surprised to find him in front of his building.

The latter smiled, making his eyes narrowed in a please way. He was casually dressed in blue jeans and a white t-shirt where an abstract cat was printed on. The brilliance of his necklaces and his rings made Alec look away from his eyelids dusted with gold glitter. He even changed his nail polish which was black this time.

Magnus tilted his head. ''What about sleeping in a real bed? Your eye-bags are as blue as your eyes.''

Alec gave him a sullen look. His bed was comfortable enough for one person, provided they are exhausted enough to sleep anywhere.

''You bought a phone,'' Magnus noticed snatching the bag from him. ''Why haven't I received any text from you?'' he scowled.

''Because I just bought it.''

''What's your number?''

''I don't know.''

Magnus narrowed his eyes while Alec took back his bag before opening the building's door. But Magnus wasn't moving at all.

''What is it?'' Alec asked with a frown.

''You didn't kiss me,'' Magnus stated with a scowl.

''You didn't kiss me either.''

Seeing him stare at him this way made Alec sigh and smile inwardly. He left the door closed and grabbed the latter by the collar before smashing their lips together. Magnus' pout changed into a smile when he was kissed and his eyes narrowed in a please way.

''Say it if you really want to be kissed,'' Alec whispered against his lips.

Magnus' hands brushed his elbows and grasped him around the arms that they caressed. Their lips pressed hungrily against each other, snapping the other with a controlled desire.

''Satisfied?'' Alec asked.

''Very satisfied,'' Magnus answered before kissing his nose.

Alec let him go and stepped back, ready to go home and Magnus, this time, followed him with a huge smile on the lips.

 

He watched in amazement Magnus write _Darling_ instead of his name on his own phone, and with a small heart at the end.

'' _Darling_?''

They both looked up at the same time and Magnus grinned.

''Do you prefer Sweetheart ?'' he asked mimicking Honey's voice.

 _Darling_? thought Alec a little confused. He didn't know if he liked it or not as he was mostly embarrassed to know that he would have a nickname from now on.

''Call me Darling too,'' Magnus demanded taking his phone ready to change his name. ''You called me Magnus,'' he sighed. ''This is so common...''

Alec was relieved that Lydia had been with him the whole time because as she was with him he didn't dare to write under her eyes ' _The Glittery One_ ' as he did before. If Magnus had seen his nickname Alec would have died from embarrassment instantaneously.

When he got his phone back, he saw that Magnus was known from now on as ' _My Hot Darling_ ' with a little heart. Alec changed the _Hot_ for _Glittery_ when Magnus wasn't watching him.

''You're not too tired to go out tonight ?'' Magnus inquired looking at what was inside the fridge.

Alec suddenly remembered they were supposed to eat out and had to admit that he had no desire to go out. Magnus noticed it and smiled with amusement when seeing his reluctant face.

''What about eating at my place? I have juice and cookies,'' he smirked. ''And a very comfortable bed, you must remember my bed, right?''

Alec remembered his bed perfectly and wondered if there was an allusion to what had happened in the said bed

''Okay,'' he agreed. ''I'm going but only for your juice and your cookies.''

And Chairman Meow. Alec wanted to see how chubby he had become.

''My cookies are way better than your neighbor's,'' Magnus declared with raised eyebrows.

 

During their ride in the subway, Magnus asked him in what state was his bank account and if he needed money. Alec automatically reassured him.

''I have a good bank,'' he joked. ''Lydia lent me money, a bit too much, in case. I didn't use everything.''

''She did? '' Magnus repeated.

''She put me up too,'' murmured Alec, thinking back to their cohabitation.

Magnus kept silent for a moment. ''I should meet her, '' he said for himself.

''What for?''

Magnus just smiled, looking pensive.

They stopped on the way to do grocery shopping for them and for cat food.

''I thought Chairman Meow was on a diet, '' said Alec.

''It doesn't mean that I'll let him starve,'' defended Magnus before kissing his temple. ''It would be nice if I could take a little chubbiness from him and give it to you.''

Alec narrowed his eyes. ''I'm normal,'' he protested

''You're slimmer, your hips were not this sharp and your butt was more squeezable before.''

Alec looked at him with bewilderment and embarrassment, and he felt a horrible heat focus in his cheeks. ''Magnus,'' he hissed, mortified.

The latter's eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint and he pinched his buttocks before striding towards the checkouts whereas Alec was checking if no one had seen them.

''You forgot the cameras,'' Magnus whispered against his ear with a chuckle at the checkout.

Alec cursed inwardly and kept a safe distance between himself and Magnus until they reached his apartment.

Magnus checked his mail stating that he was doing so since he wondered if he could have seen the content of his mailbox before leaving for the Caribbean. Alec shrugged as it didn't really matter now.

''You make me more serious, I regularly look at my mail and I get up earlier because of you.''

Alec frowned when he realized that Magnus had not used the 'thanks to you' on purpose.

''You'll never be serious anyway,'' he mumbled.

''I'm very serious about you,'' Magnus declared with a frown but he was smiling. ''Chairman Meow missed you, you know,'' he said in a light tone by pressing the floor button in the elevator.

''I missed him too,'' Alec murmured.

''You missed me more or you missed more my cat?'' Magnus asked solemnly. ''And be careful with your answer or you won't have any cookies.''

''Honey will bake me some. ''

Magnus huffed and Alec's smile widened, however he came closer to drop a quick kiss on his shoulder through the fabric.

''So, you missed me more?'' Magnus murmured by touching his hair with his breath.

''I don't know if it's the same lack,'' Alec admitted. ''So it's not really comparable.''

''No cookies,'' Magnus growled, squinting. ''And don't go near Chairman Meow.''

''That's blackmail.''

Alec couldn't help thinking about the blackmail he had lived through these last years. Magnus' mouth tightened, as if he had the same thought. The elevator doors finally opened and they recuperated the bags they had put on the ground.

Magnus inserted his key in the lock. ''Do not be too surprised when you see him,'' he whispered with an excessive pain.

''He's that fat?''

''He looks like a huge cushion.''

Alec wondered how often Simon had fed him to make him fat. Magnus opened the door and carefully put the bags on the floor as if a dangerous creature was living there. Alec didn't have to wait long and saw a hairball bulkier than he remembered that threw himself out of curiosity inside a bag.

Magnus was right, his belly was touching the ground but only because of the fur. Alec put down the bags he was holding and bent down to take the chubby tabby cat in his arms, wondering if he would remember him. Chairman Meow didn't flinch and narrowed his eyes giving a feeling of deja-vu to Alec who automatically thought of Magnus with a smile.

Chairman Meow was heavier and less responsive than before but remained curled in Alec's arms like the chubby cat he was now.

''Why did Simon fed him this much?''

''Because he softened as a beginner. He thought that when a cat watches a man with bright and dilated eyes, it means that he's hungry. He got fooled by a manipulative cat...''

''Maybe he was afraid that he starves?''

Magnus huffed and Chairman Meow purred.

''You got what you deserve, look at you! '' said Magnus to his cat who just ignored him haughtily.

Alec stroked him behind the ears and looked curiously at Magnus apartment. Nothing had really changed, except a weird vase and a painting showing a blue gleam at the end of a tunnel filled with shadows. He detailed it with a careful and attentive gaze as its presence in the apartment was surprising and clashed with the usual clear and colorful decor. This painting was almost looking bad, out of place as it was.

''Clary's mother painted it, I ordered it,'' Magnus said by going into the kitchen with their grocery bags.

Alec didn't dare to ask what was the meaning of this painting because he wasn't sure whether it had to represent something or not. And he knew nothing at all about art, maybe he wouldn't understand his answer.

Magnus refused his help in the kitchen, asking him to take care of Chairman Meow and make him do some sport. Alec continued his visual observations looking for the famous altar almost raised in the glory of his stuff. He didn't find it of course but felt a particular emotion when seeing the few books he had brought in here before.

They were carefully placed in a corner of the shelf, as an integral part of the room. Alec looked at them lengthily, uncertain to put down Chairman Meow to be able to touch at least one in his hands.

The tabby cat meowed and Alec continued to lavish his affection on his chin. After ensuring that Magnus was not looking, he went stealthily into his room, watching with interest the clothes that littered the floor. He was surprised to recognize one of his shirts. At first, he doubted that it was his and he had to face the facts that the color and shape clashed among all the other clothes. It could only be his.

The idea that Magnus could wear one of his t-shirts, showing his lack of taste, seemed absurd.

He almost shyly opened the closet and blinked at the shiny, colorful, too flashy and too bright fabrics. The few clothes he had brought were still there, in the middle of these dazzling stuff, as if someone had put them there by mistake.

Alec closed the closet and bent down to give back to Chairman Meow his freedom but the tabby cat didn't move a muscle and looked at the floor with a jaded air. He was obviously too lazy even to jump, Alec sighed, wondering how Simon could have been this weak with a cat. He smirked thinking about how he had been weak against his father, it was still the case maybe... So he laid him on the floor with a softened smile and left the room, attracted by the aroma emanating from the kitchen.

''It's ready!'' Magnus trumpeted extremely satisfied.

Alec laid the table and cast a glance at the simmering pot. ''You've mixed the remains of the week?''

Magnus smirked and darted on him a mischievous look.

Alec wondered why Magnus was looking at him from the corner of his eyes as if he was waiting for something. He had already complimented on what he had cooked. Magnus rolled his eyes and dropped his cutlery.

''So, you talked with Izzy and Jace?'' he finally asked.

Alec realized too late that Magnus had certainly expected that he would speak first and take the initiative to confide in. He had room for improvement obviously. Their eyes locked together.

''Yes.''

''And?''

''They know.''

Magnus's eyes narrowed. ''Even Chairman Meow is more talkative than you, spit it out,'' he sighed, with a roll of his eyes.

Alec scowled. ''I told them and they reacted pretty well... I'm not the only one who have to be feeling sorry for, them too... none of us is the favorite one, for that Robert would have to be interested in one of us and this is not the case at all... Even our mother, she's trying to put everyone on her side to hurt him the most as possible to take her revenge.''

''You are only pawns they use as they wish,'' commented Magnus with a frown. ''Max is perhaps the only one that is doing well for now... but it will be a war for his custody,'' he winced. ''She must be pretty confident.''

''Lydia said she has every chance of winning.''

Karma was obviously on her side.

''By far, she's less worst than your father... Max will be shared between your parents as a piece of meat, the poor sweetie. While you and your siblings you have the chance to be adult, you don't have to choose.''

''We don't, but she still want them to pick a side... and she said that, despite what Izzy and Jace told me, they were the favorite ones. It will be an asset and may be the final blow.''

''She'll get them, I think Izzy and Jace may not keep their relation with Robert...with his behavior towards you and the family in general. She'll find the arguments, she already succeeded with Max... if she's ready to do anything, she'll succeed. The Lightwoods can be very scary,'' he smirked.

''Lydia said the same thing.''

''Maybe your mother will support them financially if Robert eventually disinherits them.''

''They said they wouldn't care, I don't believe them. They're used to spend lavishly, even for me it was a little difficult...''

''Fortunately, Lydia was here.''

Alec smiled and Magnus tenderly gazed at him.

''What about juice and cookies?'' he asked, rising to fetch a bowl full of cookies with a bottle of orange juice.

Alec gave him a skeptical look when Magnus laid it all before him.

''I baked them so they'll be more delicious than those of your neighbor.''

''Just because you made them?'' asked Alec with a smile when taking one.

''And because there's an extra ingredient, I baked them with all my love,'' he grinned.

Alec blinked and stopped chewing, staring at him. ''So it's supposed to taste like love? '' he asked with a stupid and embarrassed smile.

''Up to you to tell me.''

Alec had to admit that they were better but only because Magnus had certainly added more sugar and chocolate than Honey who was on a diet.

''They're better,'' he simply answered while looking away.

Magnus' grin widened and he poured himself a glass of wine.

 

Alec looked from the corner of the eye at Magnus who was taking off his makeup, and looked down when he felt Chairman Meow's fur fondle his ankles. The tabby cat raised his pleading eyes toward him and Alec looked away, feeling guilty for not having given him any piece of cookie.

''No,'' Magnus said in a firm voice. ''I know that Simon gave you everything you wanted but you really took poor eating habits my dear Chairman Meow, you're fat. So no.''

Alec watched them with amusement while putting toothpaste on his toothbrush.

''Magnus?''

''Hmm?'' said the latter while brushing teeth.

''Someone cheated on you?'' Alec asked recalling Jace's words.

He automatically regretted having asked this when their eyes met in the mirror. Maybe it was none of his business or Magnus didn't want to talk about it. The latter stared at him intently and then leaned over to spit into the sink.

''It happened.''

''Why ?''

''Is that surprising to you that someone cheated on me? '' asked Magnus with a sad smile. ''These things happen and maybe I was also to blame...but it was long ago... Who told you?''

''Jace.''

Alec had the confirmation that Magnus had been hurt, maybe a lot, in his love life story. He hoped he wouldn't be part of this sad chain even if he briefly had been part of it.

''Why?'' Magnus asked with a smirk. ''Are you thinking about cheating on me?''

''No.''

Magnus kissed his temple and went to bed with a small grin.

When Alec came out of the bathroom, he found Magnus on the phone with Catarina. Not willing to be intrusive, he quickly took a random t-shirt and closed the bedroom door behind him as silently as possible. Nevertheless, he had time to hear something about _a situation resolved_ and a _now he's all mine_ , then he went to join Chairman Meow on the couch, a real one that could not be compared to the sofa he had at his place.

Immersed in his book, he jumped and frightened Chairman Meow who was curled up on his legs when Magnus came from behind to kiss his neck, before sitting next to him and extend his legs on the coffee table. The tabby cat went back to his original position, between Alec crossed legs who put back his book on him, and purred.

''Catarina still holds one of her friendly meal, she asked me for your number... she certainly had and already sent you a text to invite you.''

Alec who tensed up when hearing Catarina's name mentioned didn't relax when Magnus stroked his back.

''Nobody hates you, why would they?''

''Because I hurt you.''

''It's between you and me,'' he sighed. ''Besides, you have extenuating circumstances since Robert showed up at the airport...''

''When is her friendly meal? ''

''Tuesday.''

''I can't, I'll be very busy next week,'' Alec declared slightly relieved.

Magnus frowned. ''All the week? Then, you won't come to my party?''

Alec turned his attention away from the book he was reading to focus on him. The first thing that struck him was _again_?'' And he remembered that it was never enough with Magnus.

''I don't think so.''

Magnus stared at him grimly. ''Does that mean we won't be able to see each other either?''

''I don't know,'' Alec said with a frown.

Magnus sighed and snapped up under the skeptical gaze of Alec and Chairman Meow who wondered what was taking him. He quickly returned, slumped back into the couch and put in Alec's book, the keys he had put some time ago in the mailbox. Chairman Meow's paw fell on them, felt them a moment as he was wondering if they would make a toy worthy of the name. Magnus took off his paw from them and stared at Alec.

''Don't you dare put them in my mailbox again,'' he said in a light tone. ''And come when you want, even if you just want to sleep in a real bed, but I would prefer that you come for me. ''

''And Chairman Meow,'' Alec said smiling slightly.

''Whatever,'' Magnus said leaning to kiss him.

They went to bed and Magnus looked with amusement at Alec when he laid down next to him.

''It's a real bed,'' Magnus stated with a grin.

Alec gave him a sullen look even if he had to admit that he was right. He could feel how the comfortable was the mattress, his body and especially his back greatly appreciated this change.

Magnus gazed at him with satisfaction and turned to shut off his bedside lamp. Alec's gaze fell on his back with his caramel highlights in search of a tan mark. Maybe he had tanned all naked, he thought, seeing no piece of clearer skin below and knowing that Magnus pajama bottoms were falling low on his hips.

''Thank you for still loving me,'' he blurted out awkwardly, His heart madly pounding at the idea that he had said such an embarrassing thing.

Magnus froze and slowly turned to him with a frown whereas Alec was staring at the ceiling with a determined look.

Magnus snorted. ''You're welcome,'' he said.

And his head appeared in Alec's field of vision who felt his lips on his to drop off a big kiss playfully, before a ton of others on his face.

''So much love,'' Magnus sarcastically said. ''It looks like you forgot that it's free and that you don't have to be grateful,'' he murmured before kissing his nose.

Alec stared at him and kissed his chin wondering what it would cost him to voice his feelings. His heart madly pounded in his chest as if it was already getting anxious at the mere idea of what he intended to do.

Just three words and provided he wouldn't stammer.

Magnus chose that moment to roll half on him and nestle his head in his neck to show him how big was his love and affection. When he pressed his lips against his jugular, Alec wondered with panic if he could feel his heart madly pounding. Apparently he could as attested the smile he felt against his skin.

Maybe it was better this way, he could not see the head of Magnus, he could do it. Alec took a deep breath.

''Even if I don't look like I do, I love you...and a lot,'' he hastened to say with a wince.

The frantic beats in his chest subsided and he was able to breath more freely released from the weight. It wasn't that bad, he thought pleasantly surprised.

The caresses and kisses along his jaw stopped and Magnus straightened plunging his eyes into his while still keeping his hands under his t-shirt.

''I know you do but thanks for saying it, it's very nice to hear it,'' he said with a genuine smile which made Alec a little confused.

''You're welcome.''

Magnus' smile widened and he kissed his lips tenderly. ''Just in case you're almost forgiven.''

''There's some improvement? ''

''You can't even imagine how much.''

They stared lengthily at each other and Alec suddenly remembered something.

''I owe you a magic kiss,'' he realized.

Magnus blinked. ''Alexander,'' he said. ''You could have chosen another moment for that.''

So it was just a question of timing.

''Sorry,'' he apologized, removing his hands from Magnus' back.

''I didn't say no,'' Magnus hastened to say with a frown. ''I want my magic kiss.''

Alec put back his hands on him with a big smile and Magnus rolled onto his back, pulling him into him, while embracing his jawline and sliding his hands into his pants to fondle his buttocks and his thighs. He didn't know why Magnus had such a dazzling grin on his face but it made him smile too.

He imitated his kissing behavior, using only his mouth as his Hands were supporting his weight on each side of Magnus. Alec kissed him first lightly on the lips, beginning to enjoy being on top, and slowly went down along his jaw. He took his time and maybe unconsciously was teasing Magnus by making him wait. The latter calmly watched him with yellow-green eyes.

He reached the neck and his head snapped up. ''It is true that hickeys are a high-school thing?''

Magnus blinked and narrowed his eyes. ''What? Who said that?'' he huffed. ''I don't care, I like them.''

''I noticed,'' Alec murmured against his neck.

He grabbed a piece of skin between his teeth on which he ran his tongue and sucked between his lips several times before resuming lower. Magnus sighed and pressed harder his pelvis against his.

From the tip of his lips, Alec could feel his heartbeat sped up and couldn't suppress a smile.

Alec stroked with the tip of his lips his collarbones and nibbled the end before descending below at the level of the heart where he could feel better its beats under his skin. Magnus' breath was as jerky as his own and his stare still focused on him. Alec moved his hands on either side of his torso to better be able to lean on and caress him simultaneously. He kissed the hollow below the rib cage and went down, letting a trail of kisses behind him.

Then he stopped when he felt Magnus stiffened. He looked up and Magnus, head raised from his pillow, bit his lips.

''You look nervous,'' Alec noticed surprised. ''I won't bite you,'' he tried to reassure him with a frown.

Maybe Magnus feared that he would suck at it, it was making him more anxious than he currently was.

''I can stop if you want, '' he added, rising up on his arms, leaving the support that had been Magnus' body.

''I'm not scared that you'll bite me,'' Magnus exclaimed grabbing his arm as Alec was ready to lay down next to him despite their state.

Alec blinked. ''Why then? I can't promise that I will be as good as you but...''

Magnus sat. ''I may be overwhelmed at the mere idea of having your mouth around my thing,'' he quickly said.

Under the effect of surprise and embarrassment accumulated, Alec laughed. Laugh that Magnus hastened to kiss.

''Really ?''

''Really...I don't know about you but I want to do something else.'

''Like what ?'' Alec managed to ask despite the shower of kisses on him and Magnus trying to remove his t-shirt.

''Something that needs hands and us being naked so undress and yes we're keeping the light on.''

Alec automatically put his hands on his pajama pants when Magnus tried to put them down.

''I prefer to give you a magic kiss,'' he murmured.

Maybe this sentence sounded a little ridiculous because it made Magnus chuckled.

''I really have to tame you again,'' he stated with a tender smile.

 

Despite the sleep that was watching out for him, Alec couldn't sleep as he was busy thinking about what happened recently. Magnus' breath was regular and Alec watched his breathing movements of from his chest before getting up to put back on some clothes and to turn off the light from the bedside lamp. He laid yawning and shyly slid an arm around Magnus' waist. The latter didn't react, relieved he pressed his mouth against the crook of his neck in a hug.

Never he would understand his father. What had he searched to do by getting himself hated by his own children while telling one and the other the contrary he said earlier to the concerned one? Alec could only see a pretense and hypocrisy even if he wanted to believe that his father loved them a little. Until his judgment or paternal side had been perverted by his ambitions, expectations, and too high requirements.

Alec couldn't restrain a smile at the idea that Robert threats had not had any effect on Izzy and Jace who had become sadly accustomed to it and couldn't care less as they weren't really afraid of him. It was also perhaps why Robert had never done anything because he could have never controlled them as he had done with Alec.

He had been blinded by his desire to be a good son, at the limit of perfection, and by the love he had for his siblings. The favorite one? No, but the most manipulable one, was what made him a good heir, Robert had tried to model him in his own way but he had encountered too many imperfections.

Alec had been rejected as a broken toy.

He envied his three siblings, they were certainly stronger than he was and maybe more fit for Idris despite what his father had thought. Robert had certainly changed now his mind and Alec was curious to know how he would try to convince Izzy or Jace to inherit Idris. Jace seemed to be more Lightwood than ever and Izzy more competent than she had ever been in his eyes, certainly. What reassured Alec about Max's fate was that his young age was protecting him from their father ambition for now.

 _I must call him_ , he thought squeezing a little harder Magnus against him. Because in this mess Max was the most to be pitied, their parents would fight for him using unscrupulous means and regardless of the collateral damages.

*

Alec was awakened by a fleeting purring near his ear, his hand naturally moved towards Chairman Meow who dodged his touch. His hand landed on Magnus' shoulder who automatically moved to him like a magnet, sticking his forehead against his shoulder in a low growl before dropping a long kiss against it. And they fell asleep again.

This time, Alec was wide awake. He stared at the ceiling in a daze and turned his head toward Magnus, slowly remembering their rubbing session the previous night. Maybe it was thanks to what they did or maybe the bed but Alec had a very good sleep.

The blankets were at the foot of the bed, as always, revealing the naked body of Magnus who was sleeping on his stomach. He had no visible trace tan and Alec drew nearer to compare their skin tone. His black pants and his tattoos were already making a huge contrast with his skin tone but beside Magnus' it was not flattering.

He brushed his hip with his fingertips, eyes fixed on his naked body and closed his eyes with a little smile. When he opened them, Magnus was gazing at him ill-awake.

''It's Sunday today, let's stay in bed all day, '' he suggested in a husky voice.

''It's already noon,'' Alec murmured.

''So what?''

Alec smiled. ''Yeah it doesn't matter for you,'' he said in an amused tone, turning on the belly.

He had nothing to say against it. Some extra sleep would do him good and Alec stretched lazily and slid his arms under his pillow for more comfort.

''I didn't say to sleep,'' Magnus said in a cheeky tone.

Alec was slow to respond and merely growled. Magnus sighed, sat up on one arm and poked his sides. Seeing no reaction, he pinched his buttocks and didn't remove his hand. Alec darted on him a look as jaded as possible despite the hand on his backside.

''You need more cookies,'' Magnus smirked.

Alec turned his head with a frown but couldn't hide his smile. He soon felt Magnus' mouth against his shoulder, his neck and his back. The latter stroked his tattoo on the back with the tip of his tongue and laid a trail of kisses along his spine and a longer one between the dimples he had lower.

Alec stood motionless, not knowing what to do or what Magnus who nibbled his shoulder and settled on him, supported by his arms to not crush him really wanted. He rubbed his hips against his buttocks, which was sufficiently explicit regarding his intentions. Alec bit his lip when he felt him hard against him and raised his hand to touch Magnus' thigh.

The latter slipped a demanding hand under his belly that he sent down to his pajama pants waistband. He dropped a quick kiss on his neck and put his hand inside to touch his crotch. Alec stifled a groan in his pillow and lengthily inhaled when Magnus weighed upon him, nibbling, at his neck, shoulders and ears, and rubbing against him with his groin, pushing each time Alec a little further into the mattress.

Magnus put his second hand into his pants and Alec growled a little louder. He didn't know if it was him or not but his pants were going lower and lower on his hips as Magnus was biting his shoulder increasingly harder to stifle his groans.

Alec squeezed his thighs harder and Magnus sank his teeth deeper into his shoulder whereas his thrust movements became more intent.

He winced and stopped his own thrust movements into Magnus' hands when he heard the door bell ringing. He thought he had had an auditory hallucination despite his own heavy breathing, Magnus' one against his ear and his frantic heartbeats dully echoing in his ears.

But someone was definitely ringing at the door. He muffled his groan when Magnus squeezed him tighter.

''Time to use a green condom,'' Magnus managed to murmur while entirely lowering his pants.

The latter stiffened when he felt Magnus' manhood brushed the inside of his thighs.

''What about the person at the door?'' he whispered.

Magnus muttered inaudible words against his ear between several kisses but still the bell rang again by intermittent and Chairman Meow began to meow with the same frequency.

''Who the hell is that?'' Magnus roared, exasperated.

He stayed over him for a long time, breathing heavily, still pressing his pelvis against him with however less fervor. He eventually rolled reluctantly on the side and Alec took this opportunity to put up his pants before burring his face into the pillow with embarrassment. Magnus was staring at the ceiling, with a smug look waiting for his breathing to stabilize and his apparent excitement to disappear.

Alec's right shoulder was sore, throbbing and slightly swollen where he was bitten and almost sighed with relief at the sight of his wheel of fate tattoo miraculously intact.

''Don't forget that you're naked,'' he murmured while seeing him sat up.

Sitting on the bed, Magnus slowly turned to him with a smirk. ''I don't give a damn, he didn't have to ring at my door and interrupt us.''

''Magnus.''

The latter got up, walked reluctantly into his closet and pulled on a red underwear while grumbling and cursing whoever had interrupted them.

''We'll continue afterwards,'' he said before closing the bedroom door behind him.

Chairman Meow took the opportunity to jump on the bed and stretched in the middle whereas Alec noted with relief that he had calmed down in the groin. He had to admit that he was disappointed that they had been interrupted and wondered who it could be. It was unlikely a friend or an acquaintance, everyone should know that even at noon they shouldn't disturb Magnus during the weekends.

He rubbed his aching shoulder and neck before standing up, throwing an amused look at the tabby cat who was sprawled full length in Magnus' space to take a nap.

The bell was still ringing.

Alec left the room with a frown. _What is he doing?_

He found him in front of the door, arms crossed and with a satisfied smile. Alec looked at the scratches on his thighs that were mostly hidden under the blood red underwear and sighed.

''What are you doing?''

''I contemplate this person's motivation who's waiting desperately for someone to open him.''

Alec wondered in amazement how the unknown behind the door manage to remain calm and still continuing to ring with a troubling rhythm.

''Open this door, it's probably someone you know. Nobody would insist this much otherwise.''

''It's not someone I know that's for sure,'' Magnus muttered, narrowing his eyes. ''Swear to me that we'll carry on right after.''

''Open the door,'' sighed Alec. ''It's for you... Anyway I still owe you a magic kiss...if you're not nervous this time.''

Magnus did his best not to smile but his lips curved in an amused grin. ''I'll never reach your level of nervousness, I still have wiggle room. ''

He unlocked the door and opened it. Alec didn't see who it was, as Magnus hid the person behind his stature but he heard and recognized the voice perfectly.

''Mr Bane, you don't seem to know what clothes are.''

''Mrs Lightwood, consider yourself happy, I could have been naked.''

''I would be happier if you could let me see my son, he only can be here,'' said Maryse.

Alec, dumbly motionless, was too surprised to move an inch from where he was, wondering if he should run and hide somewhere. The first thing that crossed his mind was: what is she doing here? And the second: why? And then he suddenly remembered that she didn't like Magnus. He could easily imagine her contemptuous look darting on him. He approached slowly, almost fearfully and put a hand on Magnus' back who shuddered and slid his around his wrist that he stroked with his fingertips.

Maryse didn't look good and it made Alec slightly surprised. She looked sad, sullen and on her nerves. Her gaze wandered not without an ounce of disgust on Magnus' neck and torso covered with purple marks before landing on Alec with an upset and critical look.

''I already told you whoever you want but not him,'' she whispered, looking up to stare Magnus. ''He's not worth it.''

Magnus' hand squeezed painfully Alec's wrist who winced, understanding why. He didn't rectify or even mention the fact that his mother was not homophobic and that she wouldn't want him to be with him for snobbish reasons. As he didn't know what the worst was, he had preferred to stay quiet about this matter.

''Alexander is adult and smart enough to know what he wants,'' Magnus hissed. ''And the one who's not worth it can assure you that on a human level he has more value than you.''

''How can a gutter rat may know the word value?'' she hissed back.

''What are you doing here?"Alec hastened to ask a little too aggressively stepping forwards to interrupt them.

Magnus was now behind him, Alec had stepped forwards as if he was trying to protect him from his mother disdain. Seeing the face she was making, Alec knew that it was a bad idea. He had literally forgotten, that he wasn't wearing a shirt which allowed her to see all of his tattoos and the affection Magnus had for his body and especially on his right shoulder very recently.

Her eyes hardened and her red lips tightened but no hate speech or reproaches went out from her mouth.

''We have to talk.''

Before Alec had the time to talk, Magnus chimed in.'' You can talk here.''

He had said it as if he was afraid that Maryse would take Alec away from him.

''How did you know I was here?'' Alec asked with a frown.

''A family thing,'' Magnus murmured, referring to the monitoring so close of the harassment Alec had known during a certain period.

Seeing that his son had no intention to move from where he was, Maryse came reluctantly in, as if it was costing her a lot of treading upon the same floor as Magnus.

''You weren't at home, you could only be here or at Lydia's place,'' she simply answered. ''And you were not at her place obviously. ''

Obviously, no.

''He could have been at Jace or Izzy's,'' said Magnus while grabbing Chairman Meow who had tried to flee down in the corridor.

Alec closed the door with a sigh and gave her a skeptical look, seeing her smile which wasn't one.

''Provided that they still have a place to call home, and that's no longer the case.''

''What do you mean? '' asked Alec abruptly.

Maryse smirked. ''That's why we need to talk,'' she murmured before glaring at Magnus as if he was an intruder spying on their conversation.

''Mom I remind you that you are in someone's place, the very least is to behave and be polite, don't you think?''

Maryse and Magnus glared at each other.

''Tea or coffee?'' asked Magnus aggressively who had decided to treat her as a guest even if she invited herself.

''Tea,'' she hissed.

Alec followed Magnus in the kitchen while his mother sat on the sofa with a disapproving frown. He looked angry, he noticed feeling guilty about the situation. And there was enough, his mother not satisfied for having interrupt them had showed up with her slander and contempt.

Magnus released Chairman Meow and stooped to fill his bowl. Alec patiently waited until he stood back up and kissed his shoulder.

''Sorry,'' he lamely murmured.

Magnus turned, slipped a hand behind his neck and crashed almost hardly their lips together.

''You don't have to be sorry for her,'' he said before kissing him again more gently this time.

Alec sadly smiled against his lips. ''Can you send a message to Izzy and Jace?'' he asked anxiously.

In response, Magnus kissed him again. ''It seems like they are doing well and they have chosen nobody.''

Alec couldn't help feeling anxious and worrying about them but it looked like his mother had the intention to tell him everything.

Magnus brought to Maryse a cup of tea who seemed to find it brew at will. ''You didn't spit in it at least?''

''You wouldn't feel it anyway,'' Magnus smirked coldly.

Alec narrowed his eyes as he didn't see Magnus spit in it and sat beside her with his cup of coffee. But Maryse didn't speak and looked at Magnus as if his presence bothered her.

''We're at his place,'' he reminded her with a frown.

Magnus rolled his eyes and drew nearer to retrieve his laptop on the coffee table and strode in his red underwear towards his room. He reappeared a few seconds later in the door frame from which he sent a t-shirt to Alec who hastened to put it on not without throwing at him a grateful look. Magnus blew him a kiss and winked at him before closing the door he nevertheless left ajar.

''They're disinherited too?'' he hastened to ask with worry.

Maryse smelled her tea. ''That is a real tea,'' she whispered in amazement. ''They disinherited themselves if you want to know.''

''Since when?'' he asked, knowing that when he had seen them the day before yesterday they hadn't said a single thing.

''Since yesterday,'' she calmly said blowing on her steaming cup. ''Izzy called me, for once, that evening where you saw Jace and her. You had mentioned my help and didn't explain a single thing so Max told them about my depression and divorce, and then she said that if I wanted Jace and her on my side I had to say everything. And she was right, you haven't told them everything. ''

''I did,'' Alec said an ill-assured voice.

''You didn't say that the second contract appeared mainly because of Jace, which is completely stupid now because your father like Clary since he knows her mother is an artist more than recognized,'' she said with disgust.

''I was given to understand,'' Alec muttered, thinking about Jace's call that Robert had made him listen.

Maryse sipped her hot tea and her eyes fell on Chairman Meow who gave her a weary look.

''What a big cat,'' she commented.

Chairman Meow acted as if he didn't hear and went on his way to join Magnus in his room. Alec heard a giggle and smiled at the tabby cat that couldn't go through the half-opened door which finally opened on a hilarious Magnus who threw an amused look at his chubby cat.

''And you didn't talk about all these things your father said to you, you were too nice as usual. I also mentioned your relentless surveillance at a certain time... And the only thing your sister thought about when she heard everything was to ask why I didn't do anything...''

''What did you answer ?''

''Nothing, what did you want me to say? Whatever I say your sister will say that I am responsible for everything... it's been that way for a long time already and she knew about your father and his bitch, she had once surprised them at his office in Idris. That's why she never set foot there again,'' she added. ''She came to me immediately to warn me.''

''And you did nothing.''

''No, I took it wrong that my own daughter dares to tell me what I denied for a long time... it surprised me that you and Jace didn't know, I thought that she had told you.''

''She didn't and Max knows.''

''Of course he knows, he always knows everything,'' she whispered. ''But still, he wanted to know why I wanted to divorce so I told him clearly.''

''To make him choose you.''

''He chose me anyway, who would be crazy enough to choose your father after all of this?'

''Max doesn't really have a choice,'' Alec stated.

''It's his father or me, he can choose.''

Alec snorted. ''In any case, it seems that Izzy and Jace didn't choose you as you wanted.''

His mother's lips twitched. ''Indeed, I even promised them the money that their father would take from them if they supported me but it was not enough and they didn't want to be used as a weapon against Robert and even less that I use them.''

''And?''

''You can imagine that with all of that they wouldn't stand idly by. They called your father before he did it and literally told him to go to hell, if you had seen his face it was so epic. In short, both of them gave him a check for all the content of their bank accounts, saying that as I intended to pluck him he would need money for him and his bitch,'' she said with satisfaction.

''They said that?'' Alec asked in disbelief.

''And they give back everything they had, keys, bank cards, phone... Izzy even removed her shoes and left her handbag. Your father was furious, not as much as he had been with you of course, but I let you imagine what he told them.''

''What did he say ?''

Maryse smirked. ''What do you think? What did he tell them? You are well-placed to know but they fought back quite well, Jace even told him to drive himself a cactus in his behind...it made me laugh.''

''And you did nothing?''

Maryse stared at him. ''I applauded and told him that he would be the one to end up alone unlike what he told you and that we would meet again in court.''

Alec felt his heart sink and he immediately felt guilty and responsible for what happened.

''So you're no longer living with him?''

''No and Max followed me. I bought a beautiful apartment that he helped me choose. ''

Alec watched her in silence, wondering how Max was really doing.

''You told me that they were his favorite one and that it was why he wouldn't disinherit them and they told me no,'' he calmly stated with a frown.

Maryse raised an eyebrow. ''Who?'' she said after finishing her cup of tea.

''Your children.''

''Why were you the heir according to you? Think about it, '' she smirked. ''And why do you think your father never left you alone?''

Perhaps his mother was more manipulative than he thought. He had seriously underestimated her and he thought back about what could have had happened if things had been different. If he had done nothing, if Robert had kept him and threw his siblings away as his threats promised...

''You wouldn't have done anything if you hadn't been reassured that your siblings would be safe,'' she added.

Alec gritted his teeth and looked almost as incredulous that hurt at his mother. He refused to believe that his father had found him, if only for a moment, important before his imperfections rot the whole thing.

''You wouldn't divorce if I did nothing?'' he asked in a surprisingly calm and steady voice despite his tightened throat.

''No.''

''Why were you always passive?''

Maryse didn't answer, staring at a spot on the wall facing them. One thing was sure, she only thought about Max as if he had been only on to be able to inflame the tiniest spark of maternal instinct in her.

''This is the only role your father left me,'' she finally murmured. ''You didn't notice it but I am less passive than before.''

''I noticed.''

Alec drank his cold coffee, feeling the gaze of his mother on him.

''He knows I presume?'' she asked, looking at her nails.

Alec frowned, wondering who she was talking about at first. ''Yes.''

''You don't care about what I think since you're still with him, do you?''

Alec didn't say a word.

''I'm not the only one who's no longer passive,'' she whispered, looking at him straight in the eye.

''No,'' he admitted. ''How did he react?'' he finally asked.

''Your father?'' she snorted. ''He didn't seem to be aware that I am the only person able to support his true colors, I don't know how he is with his Annamarie but she would have left him a long time if he was really himself... He made his face, you know, when he lost the control of a situation...I had the impression that he really looked at me for once,'' she added in a light tone. ''And you, what do you think?''

''I hope that behind your desire to hurt him as much as possible with Max, you'll finally behave like a real mother with him.''

''I was certainly a much better mother with him than I have ever been with you three,'' she said. ''Maybe I wouldn't be depressed once I have seen your father down. ''

''Maybe.''

''Tell Izzy and Jace that they can always ask me for money if they need it once I win the lawsuit, even you but I doubt you need it...you showed me you could deal with yourself.''

Alec slightly smiled. ''You don't think they'll be able to hold? ''

Maryse raised an eyebrow. ''A few days, no more, but if they manage to bare with it I'll be the first one to congratulate them.''

She quickly looked at him at the corner of her eyes and stood. ''I have to go, I don't want to abuse this man's hospitality,'' she murmured.

Alec walked her to the door. ''Did you think about the possibility of losing?''

''No, the odds are on my side and I have strong arguments to justify every of my request. Your father is a destabilized man now he no longer has this familiar family circle that revolved around him. But he should have been prepared for the moment when you were gone it was only a matter of time before the rest follow.''

''So it's my fault?'' Alec asked with a frown.

Maryse blinked. ''I'd rather say thanks to you. ''

Alec felt the noose tighten around him, he felt strangely guilty and responsible for what happened to his father. Everyone had turned against him and he couldn't feel any delight. It was quite the opposite.

''He's not worth the trouble anyway,'' she said while opening the entrance door.

Alec watched her disappear into the elevator and leaned against the door frame. He jumped when he felt Magnus hug him from behind and lengthily kiss his temple. Alec didn't doubt for a moment that he had heard everything, which was slightly bothering him.

''They don't have their phone,'' he hastened to say before Magnus had time to ask something.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. ''That's why I texted Clary and she told me that Jace and Izzy were with her at her mother's place.''

''Izzy too?'' asked Alec, trying to free himself from Magnus hug who tightened his grip around him with a grin.

''She must be still pissed at Simon.''

''And not because of Chairman Meow,'' tried to joke Alec.

''So your mother doesn't care who you are with as long as it is not me?'' Magnus suddenly asked by resting his chin on his sore shoulder. ''Gutter rat,'' he repeated angrily.

''You're not a gutter rat,'' muttered Alec.

''There's no one to make up for another,'' Magnus said with a scowl. ''Your parents are as manipulators as each other.''

Alec nodded still trying to escape from his grasp.

''And she's right you know, he's not worth the trouble and he got everything he deserved.''

Karma had done the rest, but Alec had more the impression of having been the trigger and the cause of the consequences.

''I see you mulling over and wince, what are you thinking about?''

''Nothing,'' said Alec too hastily. ''I'm worried that's all.''

''You always worry too much anyway... let's get back to bed?'' he suggested.

Alec found that Magnus loved him a little too hard, as if he was trying to prevent him from dwelling on what was tormenting his poor mind in a last attempt of exorcising his guilt.

Magnus' kisses captured his lips scratching him with his teeth, biting his lips with an almost painful restraint. One arm propped under his head to give a more intimate side to their embrace and to better embrace him, Magnus satisfied himself with his mouth until Alec slipped his hands behind his back to better feel him against him and to better caress his body.

Their teeth clashed several times and Alec was running out of breath besides feeling his jaw getting numb. This was also Magnus' case who traced the outline of his lips with his tongue before withdrew his face to catch his breath and to look better at him.

With his free hand, Magnus took off the hair strands that bothered Alec and stroked his face with a small smile despite his swollen lips.

''I hope we won't be interrupted this time,'' he said in a low voice.

Alec smiled back and kissed his swollen lips. Magnus deepened their kiss and rubbed his pelvis into his in a rolling movement. Alec's teeth closed on his lower lip on which he ran his tongue and Magnus captured his mouth eagerly.

They were as hard as the other one, their friction against the other and their hips movements were no longer enough and Alec began to become impatient. Last night, they relieved themselves with their hands and their rubbing against each other. Alec slid his hand along Magnus' buttocks, stroked his hip, his groin, and finally reached his hard member that he captured with a full hand through the red underwear.

Magnus growled and bit his ear when Alec stroked his tip emphatically. Their breath mingled, their eyes locked together while Alec was stroking him.

Seeing that Magnus was distorting his t-shirt after a while from pulling it, Alec lifted the bottom on which Magnus' hands rushed to help him remove it as quickly as possible. The said t-shirt quickly joined the ground and the other clothes.

Magnus licked his neck brushing it with his teeth, from above to below, to nibble a little too hard his chin.

Alec didn't know what to think of their new position in which he had already been earlier. Lying on the stomach and facing the mattress while Magnus was on his back, offered another aspect of a sexual intercourse where he had to abandon himself completely and Alec wasn't ready for this, feeling already abnormally anxious.

Magnus whispered some words he didn't understand against his neck which made him shivered, and slid his hands against his crotch to stroke him and raised his pelvis. It was mostly weird for Alec not to see Magnus as he didn't want to turn his head and show in an obvious way that he wanted to see him, he was only feeling him and what he was doing to him.

He stiffened when the latter rubbed himself between his thighs and winced when Magnus penetrated after preparing him more quickly than he did the other times.

It was painful, he stifled his groan into the pillow while Magnus was trying to soothe the pain away with words, kisses and strokes. He had to admit that this position was making him more vulnerable by offering him at the whim of his partner but it had a more thrilling side, especially when he felt Magnus' breath against his ear and neck, and his weight upon him.

Alec just deplored the pain and the face he couldn't see and didn't dare to look at.

Magnus began to move slowly and sank a little more deeper onto him making Alec sinking further into the mattress as well. He felt that Magnus' thrusts movements were more abrupt, less controlled as his love bites which were less gentle, and his hands closed too painfully on his body sometimes.

If Magnus, in the frenzy of the moment, was not very tender, Alec wasn't either while pinching and scratching his hips and buttocks. To what Magnus responded with a bite on one of his shoulders and in the crook of his neck.

Alec closed his eyes and bit his lips with a frown when Magnus quickened his pace, and smiled with relief when he realized that he couldn't see his face either. He groaned when he was suddenly pressed into the mattress and when Magnus' hands firmly grasped his hips through his release.

Magnus breathed against his ear lengthily, weighing all his weight on him, and kissed his cheek while Alec kept his face pressed into the pillow to hide his face and catch up his breath. Magnus remained a long time on him, not caring at all about completely crushing him against the mattress, and lovingly interleaved their fingers from each hand together.

Alec finally turned his head when he felt a trail of kisses along his neck and his shoulder blades.

''I felt like I did it with your bed,'' he blurted in a broken voice.

Magnus chuckled and stifled his laughter against his shoulder. ''You did it with my hands,'' he clarified while slipping a hand under his hip to fondle his balance tattoo and glued his lips to the Moon and Sun one.

''Do you prefer this position?'' asked Alec watching their left hands intertwined together.

Magnus now was tracing with the tip of his nose the outline of the tattoo he had on the back, kissed it and rolled over.

''Yes and no.''

''Why no? ''

''I couldn't see your face and I felt that you relaxed when you noticed that and it would explain why you've been a little more receptive,'' he smirked. ''So yes.''

Maybe Alec had more reacted with his hips than the other times but still...

''Time for a cuddle session,'' Magnus claimed with a huge grin.

Alec reached for him first.

*

Alec was almost relieved to be drowning in work the following Monday. This way, he wouldn't think of anything if he could focus enough on what he was doing. With his functional phone, he was now harassing Magnus and Max with texts to know how were doing Izzy and Jace as he didn't dare to contact Clary himself.

''She doesn't hate you,'' sighed Max. ''Stop harassing Magnus and me on the phone.''

''I'm not harassing you,'' protested Alec. ''I just want to know how they are doing.''

Max snorted. "They're fine since this morning Alec! Mom told me about her surprise visit, you seem to get over it.''

''Me yes but not Magnus, she said that he was a gutter rat.''

''Ouch.''

''He didn't get over it... what about you?''

''Fine I guess, Robert tries to call me constantly but otherwise everything is okay, Ellie will come and we'll play video games, like this she'll see where I live, while mom goes to see her psychotherapist.''

''Have fun, then.''

''You too with Magnus,'' Max said with an amused tone. "Mom told me that she felt like interrupting something,'' he chuckled before hanging up.

For what had ensued, Alec's behind still hurt. How could she have guessed anyway? It was true that she had rung a long time but still... He didn't like it.

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_Izzy and Jace are fine, what do you want to happen to them? Instead, they seem to live their new financial situation as a new challenge, according to Clary, who told me to tell you that you can text her directly._

Alec looked at the name that was displayed on his screen and winced. All in all, he would remove the heart and even the _Darling_ , he was embarrassed just by reading it.

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_I see you tonight?_

_We already saw each other yesterday_ , wanted to write Alec but he changed his mind and wrote something else.

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_I don't sleep much already by myself, I sleep even less with you. You don't let me sleep._

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_Come on, it's you who doesn't let me sleep!_

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_And yet you sleep so well after..._

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_Because I'm not a sportsperson..._

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_More reason to not miss any practice then... I'll wait for you in sportswear, we'll do wrestling in bed._

Alec blinked and was relieved to be all by himself in his office, he was unusually hot and couldn't help smiling.

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_Even the greatest athletes need sleep._

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_If you want me to be in shape for our next match._

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_Why not say that your behind still hurt? You could barely sit this morning._

Alec pinched his lips, unable to hold back the blush spreading all over his face. He still couldn't actually.

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_Who’s to blame?_

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_Do you really want me to write it?_

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_Don’t forget that I have a behind too, we could use mine if yours is too painful._

Alec reread skeptically his text many times. Was it an invitation?

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_Good to know._

And he put his phone away in a drawer, out of his reach, since the conversation was taking a tempting turn despite his fatigue and the terrific amount of work waiting for him.

 

Alec went home later than usual as he had been forced to accept a dinner between colleagues, it had exhausted him and he already knew that he wouldn’t accept Catarina’s kind invitation. He wasn’t ready too see them again, which meant not going to Magnus’ party and he was slightly relieved.

He walked next to a car that seemed oddly familiar under the street light and didn’t pay any intention at the slamming sound of the car’s door, let alone the footsteps following him.

And yet, Alec turned around with a bad feeling and didn’t show any surprise at seeing Robert, although he wondered what his father was doing in such a neighborhood. Why would he bother to visit him after what had happened between them?

Alec definitely had been an Ebenezer Scrooge in a previous life. It certainly explained why an unknown number, and not so unknown, had tried to reach him many times today.

Whenever Alec felt guilty regarding something, he could be sure that his father would appear out of the blue, and so far he had never failed in his mission to make him sink further in his torments.

Alec only had to wait for his reproaches that would blame him for having turned everyone against him, as testified his cold and a stern pout full of contempt he didn’t miss.

He was suddenly assailed by those feelings he had tried to repress so far but he still didn’t know if hate was among them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, sorry guys I forgot the end note ! 
> 
>  Next and last chapter in two weeks (the 8th): Eclipse ! Hehehehehehehehe I'm so excited ! 
> 
> Thanks for your kudos and comments as always ! :)  
> And thank you caz !
> 
> /!\ Sorry but I won't be able to update the 8th because my last chapter is abnormally lengthy, I think it'll do almost 50 pages on openoffice... I'll update in the following days, thanks for your understanding ! :)


	16. Eclipse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry once again for the wait, when I wrote it I didn't expect this chapter to be this long (almost 60 pages= kind of 2 chapters in one) so make sure you have something to eat and some beverage next to you ! ;)

_What is he doing here?_

It was by no means a simple courtesy visit and Alec didn't know how to react.

In an usual and old reflex, he hunched his shoulders to hide his obvious guilt on his neck. Robert clashed in his tailored suit and had no place in such an area and his car either.

His father looked tired; life must have been very busy for him lately. Alec should have been grateful toward his mother and his siblings for messing around with him recently, but he was too worried about the current situation.

''What do you want?'' he finally asked in an unsteady voice.

Alec had to admit that it was almost weird and awkward between them. As if they were two strangers, They were two strangers. They became two strangers since Robert had spit all his venom filled with resentment, hatred, and frustration on him: this oldest son unable to fulfill the wishes of a too demanding father.

''Are you happy with your life? '' Robert asked with a smirk and dismissively.

Alec frowned, it could only be a trick question. Was he happy? He couldn't answer, he didn't know the answer. He felt only emptiness and weariness at that moment, not an ounce of happiness left by the memory of Magnus or his siblings.

''What about you?''

There was no mocking tone, no provocation in this simple question. Alec could have. His father only got what he deserved, he reaped what he had sown. He could have used it to have his revenge in order to feel better, to break him down to feel relieve or even to remove the noose that was always inside of him and that would come and go like a boomerang.

Under the artificial light from the street lamp, his father looked almost scary, even if Alec was as tall and burly as him, he was just like a melted pile of wax and felt minuscule beside him.

And yet, never his father had seemed this old and worn out, and strangely human suddenly.

Robert smirked. ''You and me we're more alike than you think, we always try to destroy those who harm us. You managed well with your mother and your siblings, turning them against me.''

Alec frowned, already feeling uneasy. ''You came to congratulate me?''

Even if he had done nothing concrete in this story, he felt guilty and wondered if he was not a stranger to all that. He was not innocent for sure as he had triggered everything even if he hadn't wanted it knowingly. Obviously, he was guilty in Robert's eyes.

''What did you expect? '' he retorted.

Robert frowned and gritted his teeth. ''What I expected?'' he repeated disdainfully.

Alec then realized that his father never would challenge himself and had always believed that what was granted would stay still, in other words that Maryse, Max, Jace, and Izzy would have stayed by his side forever.

''I did nothing, I didn't have to do anything,'' Alec insisted. ''You destroyed everything by yourself and for a long time already. You thought it would last for how long? They were fed up..., '' he added with little assurance as if he offered a doomed analysis.

Robert's lips curled as if ready to bite. ''Everything was perfect before you broke our agreements,'' he hissed. ''Everything is your fault! The situation was all right, everything was perfect before you…before you...,'' he struggled to say as so much anger and hatred distorted his face and filled his mouth.

''Before I became gay? '' Alec suggested. ''I've always been gay, and nothing was ever perfect...even when you made me sign these contracts... and even how much you wanted it to be perfect,'' he mumbled. ''You destroy everything with your requirements and your ambition. You should have been satisfied with what you had and with everyone: mom, Izzy, Jace, Max and me.''

He wasn't quick enough to avoid the iron fist that grabbed him by the collar, Alec winced, feeling the fabric strangle him and looked at his father with anxiety. But he didn't regret having spoken.

''You're an abomination!'' he shouted so close that Alec felt his breath against his cheek. '' _Gay_ , you honestly think people would have accepted it from a Lightwood? Never ! They would have pointed the finger at us! They already are after your show with the Branwells! You are my oldest son you can not be gay!''

''I'm no longer your son,'' Alec managed to mutter, looking at him straight in the eye.

He couldn't look away from his father's glare as his blackened eyes by anger were stopping him from doing so.

''You never were my son, you should never have been born as such,'' Robert corrected coldly while silently tightening his grip around his neck.

Alec wondered briefly if it was possible to be beheaded by the collar of his t-shirt because the burning sensation in his neck became unbearable.

''And know that without my ambition and my expectations, I would never have reached the top. Never. You think that Idris was like this when my father bequeathed it to me?''

''It didn't mean at the expense of your family,'' Alec breathed out. ''You're the abomination. I'm gay, but I'd never behaved like you did... You think that mom would have still supported your infidelities? Or that Jace and Izzy would have supported your bullying, and you belittle them constantly? Even with me, it was never enough no matter what I was doing and this story of contracts...''

''It's all the fault of this Magnus Bane,'' Robert spat angrily. ''You obeyed me before, no matter what I asked you, and when you met him, you've turned away from the right path and me... After everything I had done for you! You had everything you wanted, right?''

Alec swallowed hard, and his throat tightened. He wasn't wrong, he had turned away from the right path when Magnus had shown interest in him. But it was not his fault, only Alec's to have succumbed to his charms.

And Magnus had kept his promise, he had made him come out of the closet.

''It would have been too difficult to accept me as I am?''

Robert blinked, slightly surprised by the question, and looked at him as if it had never been possible in his vision of the perfect heir and perfect son.

''I would have preferred that you accept me,'' murmured Alec while freeing himself from the murdering grip of his father around his neck. ''You have to be happy now, you are released from your depressed wife, your failure children that you constantly belittle by comparing them...but you have compensated it with Idris: a blazing business that fills all your expectations, '' he dryly said.

But it was evident that Robert was not happy, not because he had lost the esteem of the people he loved but because he had lost control of the situation. Everything was slipping from his grasp, and he didn't seem to understand why and how.

Alec had gradually moved away from him and had almost reached his building door, giving up wanting to know precisely what his father had wanted from him -apart from holding him responsible for what happened- but maybe that was all. There was nothing else to expect, and he was slightly disappointed. To the bitter end, Alec had foolishly hoped that his father would suddenly humanize and finally accept him as he was.

He winced when the hand of the latter suddenly fell on his already sore shoulder, but it was nothing compared to the iron grip that crushed it. Alec instinctively reacted and pushed him brusquely away as if he had been burned.

The sidewalk was not very big, and Alec had used more strength than he thought because Robert bumped into a parked car of which the alarm went immediately on. Seeing his father wince, he went toward him ready to utter words of apology, regretting his gesture he had had which could worsen their relationship or initiate the hostilities for the evening.

Alec had just forgotten one detail: his father's pride. The latter pushed his hand away, which was gently laid on his arm, with a pronounced aversion for his care.

''It's all your fault,'' he hissed.

Alec narrowed his eyes. ''How can you say that? Question yourself instead of rejecting all on me. I didn't do anything.''

''You made them turn against me,'' he insisted.

''If that was the case, you would win them back easily, and you know this is not the case,'' Alec said with a frown.

''Even Max doesn't want to see me.''

_And that surprises you?_

Not knowing what to say, Alec turned his back, ready to go home. He didn't expect to crash on the ground. He hadn't stumbled contrary to what he thought, his father had just violently pushed him on the ground as if his dislike for him was such that he had to use gestures to express it.

When Alec saw blood on the cement and when he felt the painful tingling along his right cheekbone, he frowned as he still couldn't believe that his father had childishly made him fall.

When he was returned as a pancake and saw the fist of his father going down toward his face, Alec finally reacted and pushed him back by making him trip. But he also didn't expect that Robert would be this keen to respond and couldn't avoid his second fist which hit him on the right temple.

Stunned, he had just enough time to pull up his knee in a self-defense position in which his father landed after he had made him lost his balance. Alec flinched as much as him when he saw his father lose his breath and wince. He was then assailed by guilt and ready to apologize.

They were both on the ground, lying on the sidewalk. Alec was the first to get up, and his father quickly imitated to press him against the wall.

The eyes of the latter widened. Robert seemed determined to fight, but Alec didn't want to hit him. Since when a child could hit his father?

''You want that much to hit me?'' he asked defiantly.

When he saw the determining sparkle in his father's eyes, Alec knew they were going to fight. But for what reasons? He didn't know, maybe to vent or express through violence what they couldn't say.

He gasped when his father struck him in the abdomen and fell on the ground on his knees. Robert had hated him to hit his twenty-three years old son.

''You have to be used to this position,'' he hissed with disdain while Alec stood holding in pain his abdomen, folded in half.

The latter froze and looked up. ''Yeah,'' Alec growled before tackling Robert around the waist and pushing him with his shoulder to shove him against a car.

The car lost its passenger side window, and Robert hit him an umpteenth time in his face. Alec then straightened up to his full height, but couldn't avoid his father's head-butt. A flash of pain crossed his nose, and the taste of blood surged into his mouth. He staggered a few steps, and Robert took the opportunity to press him back against the wall, pinning his arm against his throat.

Alec saw stars and small suns, it was not a good sign. He couldn't even gulp as the pressure exerted by his father on his throat was intense.

''You must be feeling rather weak, right? You always were and you always will Alexander, that's what makes you a mess. You never had any value; I tried to give some to you, and it didn't take naturally,'' he spat.

Alec snorted. ''Why are you here if I make you lose your precious time? You should try harder to be forgiven by the others, right? Do you even know why everyone turned their back on you? ''

He winced when his father pressed harder, his lower lip was extremely painful, and blood continued to flow down his chin and along his cheek whereas Robert was almost flawless except the bruise which began to cover his face.

''You don't know,'' Alec noted with disappointment and dismay. ''You need to question yourself, especially if you want to win back Max, Izzy, and Jace and if you want them to speak to you again one day.''

''You forgot your mother, but you have done well not to mention yourself,'' Robert smirked. ''I thought you would know how to defend yourself, this is far from the case,'' he noticed. ''And what about fighting back with everything you got Alexander, I remind you that you are no longer my son.''

Alec slid with difficulty his hand between his throat and his father's arms that he managed to push away.

''I hate you,'' he murmured and he meant it. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. ''But unlike you, it's not reason enough to make me hit you,'' he stated with a frown.

Robert snorted. ''What a high-mindedness, I will gladly believe it if I didn't know that you're afraid to lay your hands on me. What's holding you back? What I represent? I 've understood that I had never been an actual father to any of you... it shouldn't be so complicated, right? You've always been a coward, always playing the victim, never saying what you really wanted or what you didn't like! It surprises you that I took advantage of it?''

Alec gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Apparently, his father took what he had done out of love for his family to a weakness of character and a bit of stupidity. Thinking back to what he had done for him and Idris, the contracts and his siblings, Alec's blood-bolted and he hit Robert in the nose.

The latter stumbled, hands on the nose, but Alec could see his satisfied grin. He felt relieved and satisfied to have been able to hit as if he had externalized his frustration on the right person.

They fought for real, on the sidewalk in front of his building, in the middle of the night. His fight with Donovan a few months earlier had been chicken feed.

Each of them was trying to defeat the other and without mercy, expressing their reproaches by fists and knees.

Alec finally understood why his father was so often attacking his neck as if his hands were magnetized to his anatomy part. The marks that Magnus had left were visible and not too much at his taste apparently.

He wondered once on the ground and seeing his father slumped on him and ready to deal him a blow, if they were going to fight until death.

But Robert was suddenly seized by the waist and pulled away out of harm him. The latter violently pushed Alice who fell on her behind, in her baby doll.

''My implants,'' she growled while rubbing her behind to make sure they were still undamaged and glared at him.

''Hey you, don't touch my brother,'' Honey roared in a guttural voice far more deep and less drawling than usual.

''Sister,'' Alice corrected automatically, getting up with difficulty.

She hadn't changed her sex gender for nothing and wanted everyone to know.

''Oh Sweetheart,'' Honey whispered affectionately. ''Are you okay? ''

''Does he look okay?'' Alice winced, helping Alec up.

She tugged at his arm, but Alec didn't move, mortified by what he saw lying on the ground as he was. Many people, too many people, were at their windows or stairwells to watch what was going on outside.

When he finally stood up, and painfully, he immediately looked down after meeting the poisoned gaze of his father. He was not making this face by accident and not because they had been interrupted but rather by whom they had been interrupted.

Alice had spoken in a voice much too masculine, and Honey had referred to her as a brother...while the latter himself couldn't fool anyone, despite his baby doll and his hairless body. On his father's  face could be read dislike and disgust, with a hint of aberration.

''No wonder you chose to live here,'' he stated. ''You came here because of your kind.''

''Our kind?'' Alice marveled.

Honey narrowed his eyes and snorted. ''Our kind can see what kind of person you are,'' he hissed. ''Go away if you don't want us to call the police.''

Without a glance at him, Honey looked at Alec anxiously. ''You need to go to the hospital, you want us to call the police?''

Alec blinked with difficulty, his right eye was swollen and painful. And as evidenced by his arm on which he had wiped his face, it was bloody.

''It's my father,'' he pointed out feeling a nagging pain in the lip and the taste of blood in his mouth.

His lower lip had to be split. Robert and Alec stared at each other, they both had to go to the hospital. His paternal was bleeding from the nose slightly twisted, his eyebrow was open, the left side of his face was badly banged up, and they were both slovenly in the worst way.

Alice and Honey narrowed their eyes and glared at Robert as if he was Satan.

''You want us to call a taxi?'' asked Alice.

''I'll do it,'' murmured Alec who had no intention of going to the hospital for a few blows in the face. ''You can go home.''

''You're sure?''

Alec nodded while Robert was more direct.

''Mind your own business.''

Alec had never seen Honey and Alice this angry before, he tried to smile in a reassuring way, but he had forgotten the state of his lip and winced.

Robert stared at him and turned away toward his car holding his sides, the three of them followed him with a gaze and frowned when they saw that he had stopped halfway.

''I take you?'' he asked.

Alec took the time to understand who he was talking to. ''Where?''

It was Honey who answered instead of his father. ''I think he's talking to you Sweetie, don't kill each other on the way, okay?''

''We will find you,'' Alice threatened with a more deep and manly voice than his brother.

Alec was reluctant to follow his father who was expecting him to follow him.

''I won't ask again.''

Perhaps the car was a neutral zone, but it was his aching body and his aching face that convinced him to accept the offer from his father. It had been a long time since he did sit in his car, or rather in a vehicle where he was the driver. Robert winced as he sat down and Alec kept his eyes fixed on Honey and Alice still on the sidewalk looking terribly worried.

It was the longest and most painful ride of his life.

Alec would have preferred to take a taxi all is done despite the late hour. At a stoplight, he had the misfortune to have a quick glance from the corner of the eye to his father who did the same. Both of them turned their heads simultaneously, horrified at being caught.

Robert turned it off once parked in the parking and Alec immediately rushed out.

''Thank you,'' he grumbled.

They walked silently next to each other and entered the medical building. Alec was dazzled, and a little disoriented by the light, and find himself following his father into the corridors, not knowing where to go.

Robert was the first one to go, perhaps because he was older and standing fold in half. Nobody said anything or had watched them askance, which relieved Alec who tipped his aching head back to rest it against the wall.

''Alec?''

The latter turned toward the female voice with a frown. Catarina looked as surprised as he was. Alec stared at her with his good eye slightly taken aback before remembering that she worked in the medical field. He didn't expect to find her here or to even see her, whatever, she was here and saw him.

''What happened to you?'' she asked with worry.

''I had a fight.''

''I can see that,'' she winced. ''Come with me.''

Alec followed her, filled out some paperwork, signed and let her treat him.

''With whom you fought with?'' she asked with a frown betraying her concentration.

He needed several stitches but luckily for him no threads, only skin glue on his forehead and small white strips which she applied gently on his cheekbone, eyebrow, and jaw after disinfecting them and his superficial wounds, including the one that was on the lip, then she examined his hands carefully.

''Take off your clothes.''

Alec looked up, slightly taken aback. Their eyes met, and Catarina's lips twitched into a little smile when she saw his reluctant eyes.

''I'm a doctor Alec, I need to examine you.''

''I'm all right,'' he hastened to say.

''Prevention is better than cure,'' she sighed. ''It's my job.''

The main reason why he didn't want to undress despite his sore ribs was Magnus and what he had done recently. It could already be seen on the neck, but if Catarina saw the rest, it would be too embarrassing for them both. Alec couldn't bear it.

''You won't let me do my job?'' she asked as if she was speaking to a whiner and uncooperative child.

Alec took a deep breath and took his t-shirt off as slowly as possible. He didn't dare to look up at her and kept his eyes stubbornly fixed on the ground.

Catarina's hands wandered carefully on his sides where bruises were apparent, asking if it was painful here or there. Alec thought he would die when she looked at his right shoulder.

''Impressive bites,'' she simply commented. ''Don't let Magnus eat you,'' she murmured with an amused smile.

''Yeah,'' he mumbled, hastening to get dressed.

''So ... you fought with who?'' she asked again, throwing her white gloves in the bin.

''My father, he's there too. He brought me here. ''

''And I intend to file a complaint,'' said his voice.

Catarina turned and frowned. Robert looked more human with the bandages that covered his brow, nose and temple, his bruises and without the blood that had been cleaned.

''You hit me first,'' Alec stated. ''And you have enough to do with your divorce.''

''Get out and go home,'' Catarina said politely as possible with a professional smile.

''I know you,'' Robert noticed with a frown. ''You were with my children at the airport.''

Catarina was about to say something when a young man with a pimply face called her for a greater urgency. Robert and Alec were left alone again.

''I have two cracked ribs, '' he said with an odd smile.

And Alec watched him leaving with mixed feelings. That was all, nothing more was to be expected. He just wondered if his father would fill a complaint against him, he was able to do it.

A nurse gave him some instructions and a prescription for pain relievers. And that was when he wanted to put it in his pocket that he realized he no longer had his phone, he turned around eyes focused on the floor and found nothing. Either it had remained on the sidewalk in front of his building, or it was still in his father's car. Alec cursed inwardly.

He returned to the reception desk and froze, wondering if he was not hallucinating. Catarina was talking with Magnus who was not wearing any makeup and didn't even bother to style his hair. He looked worried, furrowed his brows and ran a hand through his hair in an anxious gesture.

Alec knew that he looked scary and had the confirmation when Magnus gasped at the sight of him. He renounced at the urge to hide when he went to him while Catarina shook her head and waved her hand at him with an encouraging smile before leaving.

''Look at you...,'' Magnus murmured gently while cupping his face in his hands. ''What happened? Catarina only told me that you didn't have anything broken.''

Alec winced when he kissed his split lip and pulled away from his embrace.

''I can't even kiss you,'' lamented Magnus with a frown. ''Does it hurt?''

''It tingles,'' Alec murmured.

Magnus winced as if he was the one in pain at the sight of his right eye and carefully gazed at his disfigured face. Alec had never felt this misshapen in all his entire life.

''Robert is far better, '' he murmured when Magnus examined his hands.

Magnus immediately looked up with wide eyes. ''What? Did you fight with your father? I thought it was with Matthew Donovan!''

Alec frowned at the name. ''He was waiting for me, and he didn't like what I said...and I didn't either, so it came to blows,'' he summed up. ''But he still took me here,'' he added. ''And I lost my phone.''

Magnus' eyes were only two yellow slots. ''He was waiting for you?'' he repeated before huffing. ''What did he say?''

''Some blame because he refuses to take the blame himself and he stated that he would file a complaint against me,'' he mumbled.

''Fortunately, Catarina called me,'' Magnus hissed. ''I'm sure you would have gone home as if nothing had happened and you would have only told me when we would see each other: _'Oh oops I forgot to tell you my father beat me up but don't worry it doesn't hurt anymore.'''_

It sounded as something Alec would have done.

''I hope you fought back with everything you got,'' he added.

Alec could only offer him a sheepish wince and Magnus' expression softened.

''What will I do with you?'' he murmured with a little smile. ''You can imagine that in your condition I won't let you go back home, I'm sure you don't even have ice or frozen stuff for your face.''

In a way, Magnus had pulled it off; Alec was going to sleep with him again.

''He wanted me to hit him,'' he murmured in the taxi.

''And you hit him, he must be the happiest man in the world now,'' Magnus sarcastically said while staring at him with a wince. ''He cut your handsome face to shreds... it's the opportunity to check if I fell in love with you only for your appearance or not,'' he added in a light tone while touching his hand.

If Alec wanted to look at him, he had to turn his face fully toward him as his right eye couldn't open, but he didn't and held back a groan of pain when a small smile revived the pain.

''Sorry,'' Magnus hastened to apologize. ''So...no kisses for how long?''

Alec shrugged, and Magnus kissed him in the corner of the lips.

''Your father is too proud,'' he murmured. ''But he's a clever man so he'll realize that he's the problem...he just needs time, it's not easy to question yourself when you think to have done what was right.''

''You think he can file a complaint against me?'' asked Alec with worry.

Magnus snorted looking out the window. ''If he does he is even more stupid than I thought, forget what I said about a clever man.''

They kept silent until they reached Magnus' apartment. Alec was glad that Chairman Meow was still looking at him in a normal way, not affected by his current state.

In the bathroom, Alec could see his ugliness at will. Robert hadn't missed him, far from it. And he was far from being similar to a cute panda, as Magnus had said after he fought with Donovan in his kitchen. His face was swollen, blue and purple, sometimes red in some areas. His right eye was swollen and completely disappeared under a heap of blue flesh, his lower lip was less swollen but bloody and split.

He didn't understand how or why Magnus still wanted to kiss him.

Fortunately, his wounds which had needed to be close were not very deep, but still, he worried whether he would keep scars or not.

''It's a miracle that your nose wasn't broken,'' said Magnus bringing him an ice pack in a towel.

''I broke his, '' Alec stated by applying it to the worst part of his face and remembering the bandage on his father's nose.

''Well done,'' Magnus congratulated him with a proud smile.  


''I must apologize to Honey and Alice,'' said Alec while putting on a t-shirt after his shower.

He didn't have time to get out from the bathroom, blocked by Magnus who lifted up what he barely put on with a frown.

"You're covered with bruises,'' he growled angrily.

''Yeah I fought with someone.''

''Does it hurt?''

''No,'' he replied, heading toward Magnus' bedroom.

He was just drained and wanted to sleep.

''I just want to sleep.''

''Don't worry, I'll let you sleep,''

Alec smiled and winced, earning the desolate look of Magnus who immediately kissed him to apologize.

''Sorry,'' he apologized after seeing his wince worsened. ''Reflex.''

They had to remove Chairman Meow from the bed as he had decided to sleep right in the middle.

''You take so much more space than before,'' Magnus declared with a disapproving frown.

Alec lay in the dark blue sheets, wondering how much his face would worsen the next day, and especially what kind of face would make the others. He had taken a pain relief and was waiting for the tingling and headache to disappear.

He frowned when he saw Magnus changed the side he usually had in the bed and went to lie down on his left after turning off the light. Alec moved to leave him his place and froze when Magnus slipped an arm over his stomach and rested his head over his heart, wiggling to wedge himself, to finally drag one leg over his.

''You can relax now,'' he teased, kissing his chest through the fabric. "Unless it hurts, '' he added.

''No it's okay like this,''Alec said awkwardly.

''You'll have one of those heads tomorrow,'' Magnus murmured.

Alec hummed a little anxiously and closed his undamaged eye, as the other was already closed, and quickly fell asleep stunned by fatigue.

When he woke up, Chairman Meow was unusually sleeping on his stomach. Alec didn't dare to breathe or to move without disturbing him. The tabby cat lazily opened one eye, showing that he was awake but that he wouldn't move an inch.

Magnus wasn't there, and Alec wondered briefly why his vision was too narrow and why he had the impression to have a water bottle for a head. Then, he felt a tingling sensation that itched and burned in specific locations.

''You're crushed under the weight of Chairman Meow?'' asked Magnus offering him a large glass of orange juice.

''Leave your cat alone he's just a little chubby,'' he murmured in a not consistent way by not daring to move his lips.

Magnus smiled and peered at him lengthily. ''Are you sure you want to go to work?''

''Yes, I want to traumatize everyone,'' he replied while stroking the tabby cat who closed his eyes in a please way. ''It's worse than yesterday?''

Magnus winced. ''I love you as you are,'' he simply said with a grin.

''Thank you,'' Alec mumbled.

''Did you say thank you or I love you?'' Magnus teased.

He sighed and rolled his eyes before leaning in to kiss his neck when he saw the confusion through his undamaged eye. ''Okay, go and scare people if you want.''

And Alec did.

And he had never felt like a monstrosity this much in his entire life.

*

He returned home exhausted after some grocery shopping including pastries for his charming neighbors to make amends for what had happened yesterday.

He only had one desire: to wallow in bed and never get out, people's stare were too scary for him, and he would come out once completely healed from his wounds.

He wondered what people would think seeing his father unless the latter suffered too much from his cracked ribs...

When he opened his mailbox, he was surprised to see, besides his bills, his phone in perfect condition. It had almost no battery, but he checked the content with anxiety. Everything had been read, the conversation from the day before with Magnus where he didn't remember the last texts, like those he had sent worried after midnight. Max's ones too, even Catarina's text sent this morning saying he was excused if he couldn't or didn't want to go to her friendly meal tonight.

His phone had fallen into his father's car. At the thought that he had access to his conversation with Magnus made his heart sink in an unpleasant way, and his throat tightened.

Alec quickly sent a message to Catarina to tell her that he couldn't come and that he was slowly recovering.

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_I traumatized everyone today, it was tiring. Have fun tonight and say hello to everyone for me._

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_And I found my phone._

As Honey and Alice weren't here, he put everything he had bought in the fridge and unfolded his bed in a weary gesture and lay down. He already missed Magnus' bed and his comfort and wiggled feeling the uncomfortable springs on his back before casting a quick glance at his phone which was still on the table, and he quickly fell sound asleep.

He awoke in the middle of the night sweating and the heart madly pounding in his chest. His dream still haunting his left pupil. Robert and him were in the ring, and Alec had hit him, hit and hit without never stopping. He didn't know in what state his father had been despite the blood that stained his hands; he just knew he had to continue to punch him, again and again, to feel relieved and satisfied.

Except that when he had finally decided to look at him he had seen himself. No wonder why he had woken up.

Alec got up, ran a hand over his face and winced when the pain was revived. He went to load his phone and filled a glass with water.

He frowned when he heard his phone buzzing many times, it was a rather unusual thing.

He had received several messages from Magnus telling him what he had missed. What they all talked about, how he had wanted to fatten Simon- that his sister had ignored all the evening superbly- so that he could understand how Chairman Meow was currently living. And a text wishing him a good night and if he wanted to traumatize him, he was more than welcome to do so.

Alec smiled slightly, carefully thinking of his wound on the lip and looked at the other texts. He had received several _'_ _hi_ ' from Ragnor, Clary and Simon, who were giving him their phone number at the same time.

Izzy and Jace appeared to have been updated about what happened and said that they hoped he had chopped Robert up into pieces, they even wanted photos of his face even if Magnus and Catarina had told them it wasn't pretty.

Alec wondered with what they had bought their phone, thinking to Clary or her mother who had to lend them money.

Even Max knew and wanted to know how bad he looked and if his relationship with Magnus was in danger, and that it was the opportunity to see if he loved him only for his appearance. He winced when his smile began to hurt a bit and went back to bed having forgotten his bad dream.

*

''I understand why you wanted to meet here and not outside,'' murmured Lydia while looking at him with a dumbfounded air. ''You fought or your bed put you in this state?''

Alec noticed with pleasure that he could now open his right eye and darted on her a weary look. Lydia accepted the apple juice glass he handed to her with a smile.

''It must have been bloody,'' she winced.

''He's in shape for his age,'' Alec stated before quickly summarized what had happened.

''You said you hated him?'' she asked, raising her eyebrows. ''Seriously, you did?''

''Yeah he wanted me to defend myself and that I express myself more.''

Lydia looked at her glass skeptically. ''Well, I hope it did something to him...you told him what he refused to admit, I think he will challenge himself, but it may be long. You must not expect too much from him.''

''I didn't intend to.''

''But he still took you to the hospital, he could have not.''

''And he brought me back my phone, he could have not read everything inside.''

Lydia nodded and gazed at him thoughtfully. ''I don't think he will file a complaint against you, it would be ridiculous, and he's busy with this divorce thing with your mother...just empty words to see how you would react, he always did provoke you to see how you would respond. Your fight was the perfect example. He played his role of a villain daddy to talk to you...and to hit you in addition to being hit. That was a way of communication with your fits.''

Alec gave her a skeptical look.

''Maybe he misses you?'' she suggested. ''In any case, he still doesn't know how to interpret his loneliness, and he went to see you and act like an idiot. ''

''He came to see me to blame me and if he should miss something it would be the control he had over me,'' Alec explained with a frown.

''Maybe...,'' she murmured. ''It's when you have lost what was precious to you that you realize its true value. He is too proud to admit it, but Robert will soon feel the lack of his family. ''

''As if.''

''You want to bet?''

''No.''

''You're afraid I win? ''

''No.''

''Don't forget to buy Alice new implants for her behind,'' Lydia snorted. ''She didn't stop talking to me about it when I met her just now. But she said that landing on the buttocks for you was worth it. You're so popular now, Alec,'' she said with a smile.

''Especially Magnus, she and her brother wanted to know how he reacted and if he would avenge me.''

Lydia chuckled. ''And?''

''And what?''

''He will avenge you and hit Robert?''

''Why would he do that?''

''Out of love and in a romantic gesture he would fight the enemy, '' she claimed with enthusiasm.

Alec raised an eyebrow. ''I don't think he would take the risk of screwing up his manicure and losing some glitter on someone like Robert.''

''Who knows?'' Lydia sighed with hope. ''It could be so romantic.''

*

When Victor gave him a rest day in the middle of the week, Alec found it weird. Especially when he was asked if everything was going well with his boyfriend and if he needed help.

Alec went home, slightly confused but happy to cloister himself at home in peace and avoid the gaze of people. His face was slowly taking a more human form and Catarina even sent him some texts to ask how his face was doing.

While Magnus was harassing him to send pictures of himself.

He literally spent the day in bed, wondering anxiously if he should have talk about his day off to Magnus so they could see each other or do something in the evening. But he wanted to stay quietly at home and do nothing except sleep or contemplate his damaged ceiling.

Later, he was awakened by his sinister doorbell and lengthily blinked to chase the sleep away, wondering what was happening. Night had fallen, and he had fallen asleep with his phone in hand.

Alec threw an annoyed look on the door when the doorbell began to ring continuously as if the button had been blocked. He violently opened the door ready to grumble against the intruders.

Max, Jace, and Izzy widened their eyes at his sight and winced.

''Ouch,'' said Jace with a surprise face. ''I understand now why you didn't want to send any pictures.''

Max nodded whereas Izzy pushed everyone as if she was in a conquered territory.

''We sleep here tonight,'' she announced as if it was long agreed.

''I took some popcorn, a cake baked by mom as Jace said you had nothing in the fridge...,'' Max said.

''And we don't want to starve,'' Jace interrupted him.

Max nodded. ''And cushions given the comfort of your bed.''

''I take the bed,'' said Izzy rushing over, followed closely by Jace and Max who leaped on it.

A shrill clatter sounded, and the bed sank suddenly, folded in two under their weight. Alec cast on them a flabbergasted look which earned him the sheepish look of his siblings.

''Oops,'' said Max with a wince taking out a spring that had pierced the mattress and the sheets.

''We'll buy you another one and better,'' said Jace, taking a spring hanging from his jeans.

''With what?'' managed to murmur Alec staring at his bed which had never really been one and was now completely off.

''I give piano lessons since today,'' he trumpeted proudly.

Alec didn't hide his surprise. ''Really?''

''Yeah, and I think that my student already has a thing for me.''

Izzy snorted and went to unpack their bags with what they had brought.

''I still rely on Clary and her mother's kindness,'' she whispered.

''And mine,'' added Jace with a frown. ''Clary is my girlfriend.''

''She's my friend too,'' hissed Izzy while glaring at him.

Max rolled his eyes and grabbed the big book lying on the floor with curiosity.

''You have Simon,'' Jace reminded her.

Izzy glared at him and asked Alec if she could look at something on his laptop.

''Why don't you come here?'' asked Alec. ''My apartment is not terrible,'' he hastened to say. ''But it's better than nothing.''

''And Magnus?'' she asked immediately with a frown.

''You could get his apartment when they'll move in together, '' Jace suggested.

Three pairs of eyes went toward Alec, making him want to disappear.

''Sorry but not in a near future,'' he muttered, taking refuge in the kitchen.

Izzy stared at him and then looked at Jace wryly. ''As long as Jocelyn and Clary don't throw me out I stay,'' she stated making Jace roll his eyes.

Later, Max and Alec exchanged a jaded look when Izzy and Jace argued about the movie they should see.

''Fortunately, we took cushions,'' said Max while taking one to sit on it.

He took out his phone from his pocket and frowned before looking up at his older brother.

''Magnus asks me for a picture of you...but what kind of pictures?''

Alec stared at him and sighed whereas Jace's eyes narrowed in a cheeky way.

''Send him a dick pic it'll be better than your face and Magnus will be very happy. Ouch, you hurt me!'' he whined after Izzy had hit him.

''You have a dick instead of the brain or what?''

Max chuckled whereas Alec, cheeks burning, glanced gratefully at his sister.

They watched all the Shrek movies and Alec immediately thought about Chairman Meow when he saw Puss in Boots who was just as big as he currently was. They spent a good time between siblings without speaking once about their parents or what had happened recently. But that didn't stop Izzy from throwing an occasionally worried glance at Alec who acted as if he noticed nothing.

He let out a deep sigh when at two in the morning, Jace, Izzy and Max fought over who would use the shower first.

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_How's the pajama party?_

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_This is a disaster, they broke my bed and are waking up the entire building._

Magnus immediately called him.

''So none of you is in bed? I mean sleeping on the floor.''

''You neither,'' Alec said.

''I'm in bed with Chairman Meow currently waiting a visit from my boyfriend who deserted the conjugal bed. How's your face? ''

''It's getting better, I guess.''

''Really? Then you're coming this Saturday night for my party. ''

''I'll try.''

''I know this tone it means _I don't want to go_ ,'' Magnus scowled.

''I have an excuse, I'm disfigured, and I don't want people to stare at me,'' defended Alec looking up when Jace gave a shriek and Max burst into laughter.

''I'm sure Max has the upper hand,'' Magnus snorted.

''I hope they won't destroy everything,'' he mumbled. ''Good night.''

''Good night, see you Saturday night, then?''

''You want me to make everyone run away?''

Magnus chuckled. ''I'm looking forward to it my little monster,'' he said before hanging up.

And Alec rushed into the bathroom to see what was happening.  


He lay down with relief on the ground, on a bed of cushions, exhausted. Jace and Izzy had discovered with bewilderment their initials on his tattoos like on the compass and constellations. Max had thrown them a haughty glance, appalled by their lack of observation. But all of them had teased him endlessly after seeing the state of his shoulder and his neck, saying that Magnus had been there.

''Stop sulking,'' snickered Jace before yawning.

''You are tiring,'' Alec mumbled.

''I'm less tiring than them,'' Max defended on his right.

''How's mom?'' suddenly asked Izzy and Jace stopped giggling like an idiot.

''Fine, Robert and her had seen each other yesterday. She took a picture of him to put in her phone background, and she said that Alec could have hit harder,'' Max said with a smile.

''Yeah,'' added Jace. ''You didn't give everything you got, right?''

Alec didn't answer.

''In any case, he must know the difference between expectations and reality,'' Izzy murmured. ''If it could only work with your fits, well, so be it,'' she added softly.

''He didn't contact you? ''

Alec was relieved that his father had his phone before his brother and sister sent him their new number, but nothing had prevented Robert from taking Magnus’.

''No.''

''And if he called to apologize, what would you say?'' asked Max.

Jace snorted. ''I'll talk to him when Alec forgives him.''

Max's sigh of relief escaped no one.

''Why?'' Izzy asked suspiciously then threw a cushion to Max when he didn't respond.

Alec groaned when he received it in the face.

''He apologized to you?'' asked Jace.

''He just said he knew what he had done wrong with me, that's all,'' mumbled Max. ''And Mom didn't hesitate to get a list of everything that made him a bad father. ''

''What about her? Has she been a good mother?'' Izzy snorted.

Nobody answered, and their breathing became regular. The bed they had broken was backed against the wall gritted and a silence dotted with noise from the outside world settled. Alec heard a rustling and something poked his sides.

''Why are you not asleep?'' he whispered.

''What about you?'' Izzy asked by sticking her forehead against his shoulder.

''It's over between you and Simon?''

''No, of course not,'' she simply answered in a whisper. ''I'm still mad that's all.''

''Too much ego,'' chimed in Jace who wasn't sleeping.

''You can talk,'' murmured Max.

Alec sighed and closed his eyes, Izzy hair tickling his arm.

''Alec?'' she whispered.

''Hmm?''

''You don't want to live with Magnus?''

''No...well, I mean...no, I'm not ready,'' he answered with a frown. ''Why?''

''Like this, it'll go naturally, you know ... And so, everything is going well?''

''I guess,'' he carefully said knowing that Jace and Max were listening.

''I hope you get married,'' she murmured.

Jace snorted as if it was the most ridiculous idea of the year. ''If Alec got married, Clary will dye my hair pink. It's already quite unlikely that he had found someone uptight as he is so a marriage...''

Jace was laughing, but he was the only one to be in his delirium.

''He really has a dick instead of the brain,'' mumbled Max.

Instead, Alec quietly agreed with Jace. It was the most ridiculous idea of the year.

*

The party had started since three hours already and Alec still hadn't decided to go. He knew he had to because he had made a promise to Magnus, but he didn't want people to stare at him at the same time, even if his face was better. It was still not fully healed.

Magnus sent him a message saying he was eager to see his little monster face and Alec decided to go.

He didn't take the elevator to go to Magnus' floor as if he was trying to delay the fateful moment when he would show his face to the world. He climbed slowly, opened the door, entered the hall where he began to hear the music and spent a nervous hand through his hair.

He was pretty anxious at the thought of seeing so many people at once; he had no doubt he needed some time to get used to it again.

''What are you doing here?'' asked Alec with a frown when he saw Simon sitting on the floor in the hallway, a bottle of beer in hand.

Simon looked as surprised as him. ''Magnus refused to let me enter because of Chairman Meow, and Jace was nice enough to bring me a bottle of beer,'' he explained with a wince before carefully looking at him. ''You're not as disfigured as he said.'''

Alec sat next to him, relieved to have found an excuse to not go inside.

''But I'm still scary.''

''No it's okay,'' Simon said.

They were quiet and he fidgeted.

''I don't care about Magnus' party, I just want to talk to your sister and go to pee.''

Alec smiled. ''She's still mad at you but I have the keys if you want.''

Simon smiled sadly. ''I haven’t cheated on her or anything it's just that... I have a friend Maia, she kissed me to make her boyfriend jealous, and Izzy didn't appreciate to learn that I didn't push her away...what do you want me to do? And then I fucked up with Chairman Meow, I never thought that he would swell so much! Magnus is too scary when he's angry, so I thought that I had to be very careful with his cat, that's why I was checking every time he finished his bowl... I was afraid he'd starve.''

Alec gave him a skeptical look. ''But you fed him how many times a day and for how long?''

''Four times a day and for several weeks I'd say.''

No wonder why he had become this chubby, but at the same time if he had fed Chairman Meow with the image of an angry Magnus at the idea that his beloved cat would die from hunger in the head, it was entirely understandable.

''I organize a concert in a few weeks, you can come,'' Simon said nonchalantly watching him from the corner of the eye.

''I'll go.''

Simon smiled and winced. ''I need to pee.''

They both jumped when the door of Magnus' apartment suddenly opened on a smiling Ragnor.

''Hi,'' he said to Alec. ''You're in better shape than Jace said.''

''We know that under these bruises hid a pretty boy, '' Simon snorted. ''Do you think I can come in and go to the bathroom? I really need to pee.''

Ragnor lengthily stared at him in amusement. ''When Chairman Meow gets into shape and not before, even if your bladder is full. You're coming in Alec?''

Alec locked eyes with Simon's pleading ones.

''I'll stay a little longer,'' he said.

He still didn't feel ready to jump into the arena. Ragnor shrugged and closed the door.

''You think Jace gave me some beer on purpose, knowing that I'd want to go to the bathroom and perfectly knowing that I couldn't go inside?''

''I don't know, but it's possible,'' Alec seriously answered with a frown.

Simon groaned and leaned his head against the wall. This time, they didn't startle when the door opened but Alec was surprised to see Magnus covered with glitter, a glass in hand.

''I knew it, I was sure that you would hide Alexander,'' he smirked, coming toward him while ignoring Simon superbly.

Alec stood up and gave him an apologetic smile.

Magnus put his glass half full on the ground and grabbed him by the waist with a wide grin. ''You look better, '' he noticed, his eyes were covered with some red and gold eye-shadows.

His high and distinguished cheekbones shone slightly hanging the light and giving to his skin a golden glow. Magnus was glowing with his radiant grin, making Alec stare at him a little mesmerized by his beauty.

Alec kissed him softly, almost shyly and Magnus kissed him back with enthusiasm.

''We can kiss now,'' he said against his lips.

Simon looked from one to another and then his eyes converged on the open door. Alec met his eyes filled with hope and gratitude where could be read ' _my bladder is grateful to you_ ' and went inside to relieve himself and talk to his sister.

Magnus grabbed his upper lip between his teeth in order to make him focus on him again and his eyes narrowed in a please way when Alec appeared receptive to his languorous kisses.

They stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall exchanging kisses, smiles, and affectionate nose strokes until they were interrupted by Clary and Jace who were ready to go home.

Jace cleared his throat with a big smile, earning an annoyed look from Magnus who gave him a shoo gesture. Clary smiled and waved at Alec while pulling Jace, who seemed a little tipsy, from the arm.

When it was the turn of Ragnor to interrupt them as he was wondering where Magnus was, the latter asked him to throw everybody out. The look of Ragnor immediately converged to Alec with a knowing smile and complied.

Alec wasn't unhappy. He wanted to sleep, and cushions were not the most pleasant bed.

*

Alec frowned when he saw Magnus coming back from the kitchen with a glass of orange juice for him and a cup of tea for himself. He was mostly frowning for his usual amused and mocking grin when the latter handed him his usual orange juice. Alec put his book on the table and Chairman Meow from his lap and drew upon himself the annoyed look of the tabby cat to be disposed of this way.

''You finished your file?'' asked Alec carrying the glass to his lips.

Magnus plopped down next to him with a contented sigh and stretched his long legs on the coffee table. ''Yes, we won't invest in this, it's far too risky, and there won't be any benefits.''

Chairman Meow climbed up on his lap and flopped full length by dangling one of his front paws while Alec resumed his reading and Magnus turned on the TV. When Magnus was laughing, Alec looked up from his book to watch what was funny on TV. But he was mostly staring at Magnus' smile.

When he finished his book on the history of medicine in ancient times, Alec put it on the coffee table under the curious gaze of Chairman Meow who followed his every action and didn't understand the film as he had missed most of it, but Magnus looked very taken by the story.

Lost in his thoughts, he analyzed an umpteenth time his relationship with Magnus, realized he had made some progress to maintain what they had built and that it had been done quite naturally, and fortunately. He had begun to assimilate that a relationship worked better by two even if Magnus was the pillar and a big pillar.

Alec gave him a quick glance, he wanted to touch him, but he still had trouble doing it spontaneously. Except regarding kissing, Magnus was always up for kisses and Alec was a little more used to give them than before. But he would never become a kissing machine as was Magnus.

He still had trouble touching him apart from in bed and at a time suitable to tender or intimate gestures. Alec was struggling and trying to remedy with many blunders sometimes. And yet, he couldn't from time to time. He wanted to touch Magnus but he didn't know how, and he didn't dare especially.

Most of the time he didn't dare, and that was what he regretted the most.

Alec looked at the hand wearing a dark blue and particularly glittery nail polish, looked at the two rings he was wearing and took his hand to watch more carefully the one he never saw before. It looked ancient and made of silver with an almost translucent white stone with some rainbow reflections. For a better look, Alec had naturally leaned against Magnus' shoulder, nestling his head in the crook of his neck, and fiddled his fingers and rings absently.

 _It's not that difficult,_ he thought with relief noticing that every time he got into a panic for nothing just for touching Magnus who closed his hand over his, mingled their fingers together and pressed a long kiss on his forehead.

Seeing that the heroine of the movie was crying, Alec knew that the smile he felt against his forehead was for him. He frowned and looked up to see that Magnus was silently laughing and mostly with his eyes.

''You're like a cat,'' he marveled.

 _Like a cat?_ Alec looked at Chairman Meow who yawned and graciously jumped down despite his weight, and focused once more on Magnus, casting a suspicious glare on him. The resemblance between Magnus and a cat was much more striking than his own.

''What do you mean?''

''Whenever you want to touch me, and you don't know what to do, you touch my hands, and you play with my rings and my fingers,'' Magnus explained in an amused tone. ''And when I touch you, you stop moving completely as if you were trying to identify a potential danger, and when you realize that it feels nice, you let me pet you, and you go away once you're happy, and when you have enough.''

Alec stared blankly and slightly at their intertwined fingers and had to admit that there was some truth in that comparison. He immediately stopped fiddling Magnus' rings and fingers.

''This cat seems selfish,'' he mumbled in denial. ''Luckily you have Chairman Meow who seems much more affectionate.''

Magnus chuckled. ''This cat isn’t selfish, he’s just not used to being pet that’s all.’’

‘'That’s why you’re always stroking him?’’ Alec asked, head still leaning on his shoulder.

‘'Of course, I love cats, and I have to pet him a lot if I want him to be affectionate with me,’’ Magnus said with a grin.

Alec narrowed his eyes. ''Really?’’ he asked staring up.

Magnus looked down at him, and his smile widened before taking his face in his hands as if it was the most delicate thing in the world.

''See?'' He teased when Alec didn't dare to move before finally deciding to hug him. ''Like a cat,'' he added before kissing him.

But Alec remained convinced that Magnus was more a cat than he was, a more majestic one of course. He snorted against his lips imagining a cat on his particularly silky fluffy pillow, with a haughty and malicious air.

 _It's true that it feels nice,_ he thought letting Magnus pet him.

They were no longer watching the film, Alec had completely diverted Magnus' attention from the TV as their cuddles session was far more interesting. They were kissing as if they just had discovered what it was.

Magnus kissed his wounded cheekbone as would have a catfish with a suction noise and did it several times on his face with an amused spark in the eye.

''I didn't know you could kiss like that,'' murmured Alec with a smile against his skin.

Magnus snorted. ''Wait and see, you haven't seen anything yet.''

Alec smile widened when Magnus nibbled his neck and slid his hands under his shirt. He sighed and put his lips against Magnus' ear, nibbled the lobe before kissing the hollow just underneath.

The hands of the latter pressed a little harder against his back, and the TV suddenly crashed on the ground in a deafening noise. They broke apart from each other, and both looked at the origin of the incident. Chairman Meow seemed as surprised as they were by what he had done by slipping behind the TV. The thing he could do at leisure before when he was thin enough to go safely behind the screen.

Magnus stared at his chubby cat with an afflicted look whereas Alec couldn't help but smile.

Nevertheless, he was still better at letting Magnus touch him than before.

*

Alec was now completely healed and had a new bed. A real bed which could only welcome one person. Magnus stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I want to break it, '' he muttered sullenly by sitting on it skeptically. "But where did you buy it? Because this isn’t a bed, '' he protested.

"So what if it's not a bed? '' Alec sighed. “I wasn’t going to sleep forever on cushions.''

"There’s my bed at worst, but it didn’t seem to suit you, ''Magnus stated, staring at him straight in the eyes.

"It suits me, '' Alec said with a frown.

They gazed lengthily at each other and Magnus got up to grab a book that was lying on the ground.

“Any news from your parents?''

“No, and he still didn’t file a complaint against me,''

Magnus smiled. “He won’t, it's not now that he will. By the way, I met your mother the other day. ''

“And?''

"Still the same, but there was Max with her, so it went well. I seriously think about making a list of why she should accept me as your boyfriend. ''

“Do you want her to accept you that much?''

“My pride is at stake, whoever you want except me?'' he snorted. “It's no one or me.''

“She’d prefer no one.”

“Who you want,” he grumbled. “I still can’t stomach her _gutter rat_.”

“I know,” Alec murmured, patting his back awkwardly.

“I want a hug,” Magnus claimed with a grin before hugging him. “The gutter rat needs some comfort.”

Alec smiled and lightly kissed his neck.

“I don’t want to go to Simon’s concert.''

Alec sighed. “Don’t go in this case.''

“But you'll be there.''

“It doesn’t mean that you have to go.''

“You’re coming to my place tonight?'' asked Magnus before kissing his jaw. “It’s been a long time since last time.''

His lips slid along his jaw line, laying a trail of kisses before landing on his lips, kissing every inch of his mouth carefully.

“Okay,'' agreed Alec by kissing his chin.

“Like this, you’ll tell me if Chairman Meow has lost some weight.''  


He got out later than expected from FancyB and was already quite late for the concert. He rolled his eyes, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket and hurried out of his office. He strode toward the elevator, pushed the button for the ground floor and kept the momentum.

Until someone grabbed onto his arm.

‘'I'm not your father,'' his mother warned him quizzically, surely to not take a hit.

''But you have the same habit,'' he grumbled, the heart madly pounding.

Maryse rolled her eyes. ''Do you have a little time for me or you have to see Magnus?''

''I must go somewhere,'' he pointed out with a frown.

''It won’t be long,'' she said. ''Your father signed.''

''Signed what?'’ he stupidly asked, thinking about the fact that he was already terribly late and his phone buzzed several time.

''About the divorce, he agreed. Not for the rest yet, it will be bloody. ''

''You also asked him for a lot of money.''

''As a compensation for all those years that I have wasted on him and for what ?’’ she huffed. '‘I’m depressive, unhappy so I want money and Max’s custody, it’s the least he can do.’’

Alec stared at his feet.

''How are Izzy and Jace?'' she gently asked.

And they moved over the wall to not bother the passersby.

''They're doing well.''

''Your sister will snap, she needs money for her school and her project.''

Alec frowned. ''She is doing well, for now, she made a loan to the bank.''

And with Magnus.

''Really?'' she said falsely interested while staring at him. ''So you're still with him?''

Alec didn't answer, it seemed obvious.

''You protect yourself at least?'' she sharply asked with narrowed eyes. ''God knows with who he slept with...''

Alec stared at her, stunned and immediately looked away.

''I have to go,'' he mumbled.

''Alexander, do you use protection?'' she stopped him by grabbing his arm.

He couldn't believe what he had just heard and tried to pull away, but she clung tightly to him and didn't let go.

''Why do you care?'' he mumbled with a quick arm gesture to free himself.

''I care,'' she said in a defensive tone. ''I care about you, and I don’t think that you're made for each other, that's all. You're too good for that Bane.''

Alec snorted.''As if...he's the one who's too good for me,'' he corrected with a frown.

She glared at him.

''I think you can find someone more suitable with more things in common.''

''As you and Robert?'' he asked, making his mother pinch her lips. ''I'm late, I have to go,'' he added with a frown.

''Do as you want,'' she said angrily. ''Don't whine when Magnus will let you down.''

''As if I'd whine in your arms,'' he grumbled.

He did as if what she had just said had no impact on him whereas it revived doubts and uncertainties buried deep inside him, that her words had risen. Maybe the day where Magnus would dump him will come and even if he had voiced his love for him, Alec was not confident. Love was an uncontrollable thing which was what made this a dangerous feeling. It came and went but left an indelible mark that could wreak havoc and destroy those who felt it. The day where Magnus would no longer love him would come, and just by thinking about it, Alec's heart broke.

It was possible and scary. Alec didn't want to think about it.

He glanced at her one last time and turned his back, his heart at the mouth. He had to attend Simon's concert, and he was damn late.

It wasn't difficult to spot them in the crowd, much larger than the last time he went there. Alec first spotted Magnus, tall as he was, wearing a silky and sparkling jacket, then he noticed Jace, his sister, Clary, Catarina and Ragnor. They were all there.

He smiled when he saw Simon jumping on stage and noticed with a frown that his band name had changed for 'Chubby Soul,' maybe a tribute to Chairman Meow. He fought his way through all those people and came up behind Magnus, and poked his back to signal his presence.

Magnus immediately turned, and his face lit up, before lovingly embracing him as if they were alone in the world.

''You didn't answer my text, '' he said against his lips.

Alec didn't hear and moved closer, sticking almost his ear against his mouth that Magnus kissed with a grin.

''You're disgusting,'' said Jace with a wince.

''It's you who's disgusting,'' retorted Catarina and Izzy in a single voice.

''You're disgusting,'' Magnus repeated in an obvious tone.

''You didn't miss anything,'' said Ragnor.

Izzy nodded. ''It's almost finished.''

Clary narrowed her eyes. ''Why do you come if you don't like it?''

''It's funny to see all these people enjoying it when you don't,'' Ragnor smirked. ''I'm joking!'' he added, seeing her glare at him.

It turned out that Magnus was the only one to not like it, unlike Alec who liked the last song. The crowd was almost delirious, and they were all pretending to not like it just to make Simon anxious. And it worked, Simon looked at them anxiously.

Jace and Izzy sniggered.

''You just made up recently,'' Clary reminded her with a frown.

Izzy shrugged. ''I like his pout.''

Alec looked curiously at the strings which roamed the stage and the speakers, and froze when Magnus' hand slipped into one of the back pockets of his jeans to feel the content. It didn't escape Ragnor whose eyes came upon Magnus' hand in Alec's pants, but he said nothing.

After making sure that no one was looking, Alec did the same in the so much tighter pants of Magnus who looked pleasantly surprised.

''Alexander, '' he marveled. ''Leave my behind alone it did nothing.''

''I'll leave yours alone if you do the same with mine.''

Magnus' grin widened. ''This is romantic to hold the buttocks instead of the hands... I have no words.''

''I do, '' chimed in Jace. ''And it's...''

''Shut up,'' Izzy said with a roll of her eyes. ''Stand still and hold your buttock elsewhere,'' she scolded them with a smile that she couldn't contain.

And they stood quietly without removing their hand from the pocket of the other. But Alec's hand was just stuck into his back pocket.

The concert finished, Simon walked toward them with a tight smile.

''So ?''

''Meh,'' said Jace.

''So-so, '' grinned Ragnor.

''I didn't like it,'' stated Magnus but he was the only one to be sincere.

Simon gave him a shy glance. ''I thought that you wouldn't come.''

Magnus stared at him, eyeing him with his full height. ''I only came because Chairman Meow has lost some weight.''

The wave of relief that crossed Simon's eyes escaped no one, and Alec tried to pull his hand from Magnus' pocket, pinching a little too hard his buttock.

''Later, '' Magnus said to him with a wink.

Alec blushed and looked away, muttering inaudible words.  


''You had a lot of work?'' asked Magnus in the taxi.

Alec nodded. ''Yeah, Victor is sick.''

Magnus hummed. ''You'll all fell ill at this rate, I'm sure he can hire more people.''

''We'll see when he returns, maybe his health will convince him,'' he murmured.

''I hope, you're too tired sometimes and we can't do anything.''

Alec didn't catch the true meaning of his sentence and Magnus realized it.

''In bed,'' he added. ''You and me, our wrestling match, all naked.''

Alec automatically gazed at the taxi driver who seemed unfazed, whereas Magnus looked satisfied to see him flustered and took his hand.

He had to admit that they hadn't done anything in a long time despite the number of occasions they had slept together, apart from their few rubbing sessions. He still hadn't given him his magic kiss.

''You want your magic kiss? '' he asked awkwardly.

Magnus blinked. ''I especially want you, I don't care about what we can do... Just a little more than usual.''

''It doesn't bother you to talk about this in public?'' Alec whispered with worry.

''Sex is everywhere, it's a healthy thing, '' Magnus stated. ''And I don't care.''

''I do,'' he mumbled.

''You were so pure, '' Magnus teased. ''But not for a long time, '' he smirked.

''I'm no longer pure,'' Alec murmured.

And Magnus' grin widened.

Alec barely had time to take Chairman Meow who had thrown himself at him looking for caresses that Magnus was already on him to give him affection. As to handle him, Alec grabbed his face and kissed him with everything he had.

He wanted to do it too, at least more than some rubbing.

Magnus hummed with contentment when Alec nibbled his neck before redirecting him to his mouth. They furiously kissed in the entrance, and they realized it when Alec lost his balance and nearly crashed into the wall if Magnus hadn't held him.

In a silent agreement, they went to the room kissing and undressing. Or rather Alec undressed Magnus, making the latter laugh.

''You too,'' he reminded him.

Alec reluctantly withdrew his hands from Magnus' pants.

''Clothes off, '' Magnus insisted while pulling his t-shirt up.

The arms entangled in his top and pulling on his neck to remove it; Alec winced as the hands of Magnus unbuttoned his pants and opened his fly. He hurried to send off his shirt and captured his face eagerly in his hands, sliding one hand behind his neck to deepen their kisses.

Magnus opened the bedroom door, almost pushed Alec inside before closing it and putting his hands back on him. Alec groaned when Magnus slipped his hands inside his pants to better grasp his bottom, bringing their hips and their throbbing area together. He frowned when Magnus made him trip and clung automatically to him, causing them to fall into the bed.

Magnus' body crashed against his, which Alec grabbed a little more fiercely to feel him better against him. Soon, undulating and rubbing against each other were no longer enough with their clothes that hindered their desire.

Magnus, who was already in his underwear, straightened with a frustrated look to remove his pants, except that when he grabbed his hips to pull on the bulky garment, he slipped two fingers into underwear's waistband to remove it at the same time.

Alec's hands immediately acted beyond his control and wrapped around his wrists.

Magnus narrowed his eyes, staring defiantly at him.

''You don't need an underwear for what we'll do,'' he explained with a suggestive smile.

Alec perfectly knew it.

''Alexander,'' Magnus sighed as always when he felt obliged to explain that he should be used to being naked in front of him.

But there was nothing to be done, Alec delayed this moment until the very end.

''This is the way you look at me that makes me uncomfortable,'' he muttered, dropping Magnus' wrists gradually.

''The way I look at you?'' Magnus repeated with a raised eyebrow. ''You mean with love?'' he asked with a smirk. ''Oh, it's true that it must be terrible,'' he sarcastically added. ''Get used to it.''

Alec mumbled something incoherent, cheeks on fire and let him undress him before pressing his body against him immediately for not giving him enough time to contemplate his, with this so troublesome look that made him want to hide.

Magnus chuckled when Alec clung to him like a koala and hastened to embrace his body after removing the last piece of fabric. Both of them held their breath when their private part touched and captured the mouth of the other eagerly.

Magnus' hands roamed his body eagerly, touching his tattoos, his ribs, his hips, his thighs against which he rubbed himself without any restraint, rolling his hips to relieve himself. Alec's hands did the same and ended up on his buttocks that gripped them to increase the pressure of his movement against his groin. They were painfully rubbing against each other, but it wasn't enough, and their hands couldn't satisfy them anymore.

This time, the condom was red and for a brief instant Alec thought of asking to be the one who would use it, but he didn't dare, perhaps he will be bolder next time.

Alec bit his shoulder when Magnus penetrated him to make him understand his pain and the latter nibbled his chin and neck, teasingly, to soothe the pain before stifling a groan against his shoulder, teeth stuck in it, in a control gesture that was meant to be loving, no doubt about it.

Alec wondered if by dint his tattoos and especially the one representing a Moon and a Sun wouldn't disappear through being nibbled and kissed every time.

When he could move, Alec tightened his legs around his waist and slid his hands behind his back to make him move more. Magnus' thrusts movements were slow and long, and his mouth slightly landed on his face here and there in a light caress.

But nothing worked, Alec remained tense as he always was.

He couldn't let go and surrendered completely. Maybe because he was so uptight and reserved.

Magnus brushed his lips with his breath, watching him intently and Alec once again wanted to escape from that gaze. But his blue eyes couldn't look elsewhere that in the green-yellow eyes of the latter, observing their elongated shape and counting the gold sparks around the pupil.

Alec kissed his chin, and Magnus grabbed his upper lip between his, that he softly kissed, opening his mouth when he felt his tongue, providing access to his.

Magnus back and forth movements intensified and accelerated, as the pressure of his hands under Alec's buttocks that they painfully gripped, the mouth pressed against his neck.

Alec frowned when Magnus touched this particular spot inside him and clutched harder at him, sticking, in turn, his mouth against his shoulder to stifle his groan. Magnus who was more expressive, smashed him against the mattress with faster and closer hip rolls. Alec pressed his mouth into the crook of his neck, when his pelvis was pressed against the mattress, and winced when he realized he had come in Magnus' hand, which didn't seem to bother the latter.

Magnus remained on top of him and rested his head in the crook of his neck, short of breath and with half-closed eyes. Alec stroked his back with his fingertips and Magnus withdrew but without rolling on the side, before tenderly kissing him on the lips.

Then he straightened reluctantly to throw the used condom and Alec took the opportunity to turn on his stomach and bury his face in a pillow. At the edge of the bed, he looked a bit surprised at Chairman Meow who was lazily stretched out full length on the floor and wondered since how long he was there.

He reached out to stroke his belly, and the tabby cat narrowed his eyes in a please way, making Alec smile.

''Don't fall asleep,'' said Magnus' amused voice in his back and the bed sagged.

Alec closed his eyes when Magnus kissed his back.

''I'd rather be the one that you caress,'' declared Magnus.

Alec's lips curled into a smile, and he turned his head toward him. Magnus was lying on his back, head turned in his direction and Alec's gaze wandered over his naked body that he didn't care to cover.

He slid his hand down his belly and rubbed it with small circular movements. ''Happy?'' he asked.

Magnus narrowed his eyes in a please way and stared at him thoughtfully before turning completely toward him, inviting him to do the same. Alec complied, and Magnus hugged him, pressing his burning body against his.

The latter kissed his face several times, sliding his hands along his ribs and his thighs and Alec lazily kissed him when the opportunity presented itself, making Magnus laugh.

Alec nestled his head in the crook of his neck and absently caressed Magnus' thigh and hip, ready to fall asleep.

''It bothers you that I'm looking at you as I do?'' Magnus finally asked. ''You're still a little tense.''

Alec didn't answer, preferring to kiss what he had within reach, making Magnus smile and kiss his forehead.

''I'll continue to look at you this way anyhow,'' he murmured. ''I just need you to be used to it that's all.''

''I'll try.''

Magnus lazily smiled and stroked his back.

''Turn off the light Chairman Meow,'' he mumbled.

Alec snorted. ''I'll do it,'' he murmured before remembering that he was still naked and that Magnus would enjoy the show.

Magnus had opened his eyes and wide. Alec sighed and stood up beginning to search automatically for some clothing, earning a growl of protest from Magnus. He then looked up at him to see that he had straightened ready to jump on him and snatch any clothes from his hands.

Alec, therefore, gave up and hurried to turn off the light.

''Walk of shame,'' teased Magnus.

Alec carefully walked toward the bed, fearing to give a kick to Chairman Meow, glad and relieved that Magnus couldn't see him in the dark, and slipped between the sheets with alacrity.

''Settled?'' asked Magnus with amusement after he stopped fidgeting.

Alec hummed, pleased with his position on the back, head comfortably on the pillow. Magnus slipped his arm over his chest, on which his own arms clung immediately, and landed his head on his shoulder, lips pressed against it which made Alec tilt his head, his cheek pressed against Magnus' hair.

His regular breath tickled his shoulder, but he wasn't sleeping, as his eyelashes were also tickling him. Alec opened his eyes and mechanically stroked the arm resting on his chest.

''Will it last?'' he suddenly asked with a frown.

His question was a whisper, and his voice was so low that he doubted that Magnus had understood him.

“Us,’' he clarified thinking about what his mother had said.

He thought back to the fact that he could, one day, be part of Magnus' lover's list, and it terrified him. He didn't want that, only thinking about it made him anxious, and he could feel a dull anger thunder in him. But what could he do if it happened? Love was a feeling which could fade away with time and without care. And Alec was scared to not be affectionate enough for Magnus who could leave him for someone better any time.

“We have to make it last. Swear to me that you'll do your very best if something is wrong we have to fix it. A relationship requires attention and it needs to be cared for,’’ Magnus mumbled against his shoulder. “As for me, I'm very steady with my feelings. Especially with you.''

Alec frowned, he still didn't get what made him special to Magnus' eyes, perhaps he would never understand.

It was hard to love someone when we don't love ourselves, but Alec was ready to do his best, although he needed time.

''How did you know it was love?''

''When I wanted you in my bed.''

_Oh._

Alec's hands immediately stopped stroking his arm. Magnus chuckled and kissed his shoulder.

''It's more complex than it looks like actually,'' he hastened to say.

''Clearly, you thought I was lame the first time you saw me,'' Alec said with a frown, wondering how Magnus did to be attracted to him in the first place.

''Basically, you intrigued me. And...uh...a lot so I thought about you a lot, but it was obviously not your case, far from it. That's why I had to bait you, make you understand that I existed, but you didn't care. You looked at me with your big eyes saying: _why is he talking to me suddenly?_ _What does he want? Is he making fun of me?_ But once we started talking, you didn't interpret my signs and my sudden interest for you...I'm pretty sure you thought: _great, a new friend!_ '' he huffed.

Alec strangely remained silent.

''I intrigued you?'' he finally asked.

Magnus nodded, rubbing his cheek against his shoulder. ''You were always at my parties, but you didn't have any fun, and you still came, you were always here. And it was as if you weren't here at the same time, you were there without being there... And then you ignored me,'' he added, biting his shoulder. ''I'm not used to being given the cold-shoulder.''

''I didn't snub you,'' Alec protested.

''Of course not, but you had this inaccessible look as if you were in your bubble. You were always so withdrawn into yourself...so different from your sister and Jace, it may be what intrigued me the most.''

Alec began to caress his arm, frowning while Magnus lengthily kissed his shoulder.

''If I hadn't gone after you or if I hadn't told you the attraction I had for you, you never would have looked at me,'' he stated, pensively. ''And without that damned stupid contract with your father, I would have had you sooner and more easily,'' he scowled as if he had struggled against a particularly stubborn enemy. ''You can't know how relieved I am that you have no more excuses to escape me now.''

''Me too,'' Alec whispered in a strangled voice before clearing his throat.

Magnus' lips brushed his cheek and Alec turned his head to captured them.

''Just in case you wouldn't know,'' Magnus teased against his lips. ''I love you.''

Alec's heart skipped a beat, and he stammered a _'thank you'_.

''I don't want a thank you I want an I love you,'' Magnus reclaimed by clutching him as if he was a cuddly toy.

''I love you too,'' he mumbled with embarrassment.

Magnus' grin widened against his neck. ''Then, why don't you want to move in with me?''

Despite his smile, that Alec could feel, he had asked his question in a serious and almost imperious tone.

''I don't know...I think I'm not ready.''

''Not ready or scared?'' asked Magnus.

''Not ready because I'm scared?'' Alec suggested with a wince.

Magnus deeply sighed, making Alec wondered what kind of face he had.

''Why?''

''I like to be alone,'' he murmured awkwardly.

''You mean you need an alone time? I can give you that if that's what you really want,'' Magnus hastened to say.

''Not that,'' Alec protested. ''I mean more like my own space...and to be alone sometimes I guess,'' he grumbled.

Magnus strangely remained silent. ''It's amazing how much you remind me of Chairman Meow sometimes,'' he marveled. ''Don't worry I'm used to it.''

''Magnus,'' Alec sighed.

''Let's give it a try, stay one week and decide.''

''One week?''

''One week.''

''What if I'm boring?''

''Chairman Meow isn't boring.''

''I'm talking about me.''

''I'll make you stay, you'll see,'' Magnus stated with confidence.

''You really want to be awakened by an alarm clock every day?'' asked Alec surprised and a little suspiciously.

Magnus was silent for a moment, surely thinking about his precious sleep. ''I don't care, I want you here,'' he finally murmured.

*

Maryse had won and had insisted on celebrating her victory in an expensive restaurant. Jace and Izzy had refused to come; they were at a party to which Magnus was also going.

Max and Alec exchanged a quick glance before looking again at their plate.

''He went with his bitch in court,'' murmured their mother while turning the wine into her glass. ''No respect.''

''So you got everything?'' asked Max.

''No, only half of his fortune and the home but I still have my share in Idris. Do you want to return to live there or stay at the apartment?''

''Apartment,'' Max said with a frown.

Their apartment was huge and luxurious, and much more than Magnus' one. Alec was quite surprised when he had to go inside earlier.

''Perfect, I intend to sell it...unless you want it?” she asked Alec with a raised eyebrow.

''No,'' he hastened to say. ''Sell it.''

Maryse smiled with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. ''Still with him?''

Alec scowled whereas Max rolled his eyes.

''Leave him alone he's big enough and Magnus is cool.''

Maryse drank her glass of wine, without taking her eyes from him. ''You'll always remain a little boy for me that doesn't dare to decide by himself,'' she said.

She asked about Izzy and Jace, nonchalantly, but Alec had to rely on Max to fill the silence, sometimes with him, sometimes with her. A few days before, his little brother told him that she was getting better but was still taking her medication for her depression, but there weren't such for a broken marriage.

They didn't have much to say, and the presence of their mother prevented them from speaking as they would have liked.

Max was often looking at his phone and Maryse anxiously.

''Mom, you told me that I could go,'' he reminded her.

Maryse frowned and looked at her watch. ''Do you have money ?''

Max immediately reached out, and she gave him a $100 bill, making him frowned.

''You don't have smaller? I won't go to the movie theater with that.''

''Buy popcorn for all your friends,'' she simply answered. ''If you're not back before eleven, I'll pick you up, and you'll get so ashamed that you never dare to go out ever again.''

Max winced and cast an apologetic look at Alec who could only nod.

''Have fun.''

''You didn't go out when you were his age,'' she commented following Max with her eyes.

''No.''

''You can also leave if you want,'' she murmured.

Alec glanced up at her, she filled another glass of wine, and he immediately thought of Lydia. They were supposed to see each other very soon to celebrate something he didn't keep any memory.

''I'll stay.''

''Even if you don't want to?''

Alec didn't answer and Maryse sadly smiled. ''Nothing changed...I feel that they had quickly recovered from the situation...they are rather living well, better than I would have thought. We must be the only two who can't get over it,'' she murmured.

Alec stared at his mother with a frown.

''Until the end, I hoped he would come back to me but no,'' she murmured as if she was talking to herself.

He also hoped that his father would have apologized and told him what he had always wanted to hear. Both of them were fools.

''When did he start cheating on you?'' he asked.

''Before the birth of Max, he stopped seeing her for a while when he was born and then he returned to her. I'm grateful that he didn't have any children with her... I wouldn't have supported it.''

''And what made you supported the rest?''

''You, Izzy, Jace, Max, money and the love I had for him. Everything is destroyed, we have destroyed everything in fact. You and me. We were drawn into wishful thinking...we were the only two to be lulled and who tried to maintain a family that was no longer one for a long time...''

''Does he really hate me?''

''You don't have to worry about it, even if it's painful. Forget it, it'll be better this way.''

They both took a chocolate dessert, and Maryse looked at him with a slight smile.

''Do you hate me?''

Alec stopped chewing and stared at his spoon carefully.

''You should and you have enough,'' she added. ''I have done nothing for you while I knew everything, I could see that it was hard, but I didn't want to get involved.''

''But you did finally,'' he murmured. ''And you protected somehow my relationship with Magnus even if you don't like him.''

Maryse stared at him. ''But I lied about your siblings, saying they risked nothing whereas you all had the same risk of being disinherited...and I expected you to act before doing the same. I waited for my son to show me what I should have done as a mother.''

''But if you hadn't done it, I wouldn't have either.''

''Maybe ... but in this case, you would have eventually snapped one day or another...  I don't know how but you wouldn't bare it anymore.''

''You too.''

''That's why I decided to talk to you, I already had enough.''

Alec stared at the chocolate left on his plate and scraped it with his spoon.

''You look happier than before,'' she murmured.

''Really?''

''Yes, unless you know how to pretend. You're good to pretend that all is well. Do you remember that time when you fell in this park? Your knees were bleeding, and you did as if it didn't hurt whereas Izzy was whining for pain on her finger.''

''I don't remember.''

''Of course, you don't,'' she said while taking out her wallet.

Maryse perfectly understood where he intended to go when he didn't go in the direction in which he was supposed to go to his apartment.

''Are you living with him?'' she asked with a disapproving frown.

 _Not really_ , he wanted to say.

''I'm big, '' he simply said. ''I do what I want.''

Maryse looked at him quizzically and smiled at his poor attempt to be confident.

''Good night,'' she simply said before turning on her heels.

And Alec went to Magnus' place with relief.

He sighed with annoyance when the elevator wasn't going down and climbed the stairs quickly. It had been three days since he started living with Magnus, never he had remained so long in his place. It went pretty well, for the moment.

Magnus was doing absolutely everything to show him how much it would be great to live together permanently, and he enticed him with cookies, juice, books that he bought for him to stay and left him alone while watching him from the corner of the eye. But Alec remained on guard and waited for the end of the week for a final decision.

He slid the key into the lock and opened the door. The light was on. Magnus must have forgotten to turn it off before leaving. He hoped that he wouldn't come at four in the morning completely drunk.

''Alexander?'' said his voice.

''You're back already?'' Alec inquired, surprised that he was already there.

''In the bathroom.''

The party must have been lame for Magnus to be home this early. Alec pushed the door, and Chairman Meow took the opportunity to go in and throw himself on the pile of clothes on the floor. Magnus who was lounging in the bath gave him an amused look and sent him some foam which made the tabby cat ran off immediately.

''It's normal that there's this much of foam?'' asked Alec. ''And glitter?''

''There's never enough glitter in a bath,'' sighed Magnus with a tragic air before disappearing underwater.

And he reappeared with flattened hair, dripping skin and looking more exotic than ever with his skin and eyes.

''Want to join me?'' he asked by looking at him from the corner of his eye.

''There's no room for me,'' protested weakly Alec.

Magnus stared at him quizzically. There was enough room for two people in that tub.

''I knew you would want to play the mermaid with me,'' he teased seeing him undress.

He couldn't restrain a mocking smile which softened in front of Alec's relieved face when foam covered his nakedness. Then he pulled on his legs to drag him closer to kiss him. This move caused a mini flood and the considerable loss of glittery foam.

''Whatever,'' Magnus murmured. ''How was Mrs. Lightwood ?''

''Better and better, '' Alec answered pinning his back against the cold wall of the tub.

''With you too? ''

''I guess.''

Magnus gazed thoughtfully, leaning on his elbows to the tub.

''She said that I knew how to pretend.''

Magnus snorted. ''You're the king regarding pretending as you don't show your emotions...same with me and it's not because you're uptight or modest.''

Alec stared at him without saying anything.

''But it's getting better.''

Alec gave him a dubious look. ''I can't let go,'' he mumbled.

''I'll fix it,'' Magnus said with a smile. ''Slowly but surely.''

Frightened at the idea that the glitter would glue to his body forever, Alec was the first to go out from the bath followed closely by Magnus who pinched his buttocks with a cheeky smile.

''And this party?''

Magnus rolled his eyes while wiping himself. ''Tell me about it, this guy doesn't know what's a party worthy of the name,'' he hissed. ''I've never seen that, the only interesting thing was when Simon had destroyed the glasses tower,'' he snorted.

Alec blinked, relieved that it wasn't Jace or Izzy.

''But Jace and Izzy seemed to have a good time,'' he added, rubbing his hair.

Alec nodded and wrapped his towel around his hips before leaving the bathroom.

*

It had been a week exactly. Lying in bed, Alec turned the page of his book with a frown. It was hard to concentrate but only because Magnus was pressed against him, his head quietly rested on his chest at heart level, tracing the contours of the labyrinth he knew there through the fabric.

It was a strangely intimate and comfortable position, but it made Alec nervous by its natural and especially the cuddly side of Magnus. His touch and hug side still surprised him and with an embarrassed smile, he slipped his hand through his hair touching it mechanically, his eyes still focused on his reading.

Eyes half closed, Magnus seemed lost in his thoughts, absently tracing his tattoos he knew the location and contours by heart. He slipped two fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs to touch his balance and dropped a quick kiss on his chest before gently rubbing his cheek against it. For a short moment, Alec wondered if he had been this way with some ex’s and his heart sank.

Alec watched him from the corner of the eye, not knowing what to do if not to touch his hair and continue reading. Magnus yawned and nuzzled closer, and he decided that it was time to turn off the bedside lamp.

''Have you finished?'' asked Magnus, looking up at him.

''Yes,'' Alec lied, closing his book.

Magnus smiled, and Alec kissed his forehead before removing himself from his grasp to turn off the bedside lamp.

''How was it? Was it scary to spend an entire week with me?'' he finally asked.

''What about you with my alarm clock, I know you want to destroy it.''

Magnus snorted. ''If you move in, it could be that there's a surprise,'' murmured Magnus by sliding a hand behind his back.

''What kind of surprise?''

''Move in and you'll see.''

''I don't need a surprise to move in.''

''Nevertheless, you'll love this one,'' Magnus said with enthusiasm.

Alec agreed with a kiss, but he was still a little anxious.

*

''Be happy with your Darling, Sweetheart,'' Honey sobbed.

Alice and Alec narrowed their eyes and stared at him. He came with an orchid because Honey was very flower and pastries for Alice who was dessert, to say goodbye.

''He does that to escape from his father, it's so romantic,'' sighed Alice.

Alec blinked. ''Not really.''

But Honey got carried away. ''Oh yes,'' he said in an excited voice, deep and drawling. ''Against all odds, their love will triumph, that's why you were disinherited, Sweetie? Out of love for him, right?''

''I also will do everything for love if I had someone like this hot-caramel person as a boyfriend,'' Alice squealed.

''Your father violently opposed against your love, and you found yourself at the whim of life, penniless but he managed to find you,'' Honey continued with a sigh.

''And you're going to live together,'' said Alice as if he had reached a purpose in life.

''Maybe even marry you!''

Alec was silent, contemplating their delirium phase with a slight wince of surprise and a little misunderstanding. They totally thought up a plot with Robert based on some real facts which made him wondered how they knew it. He never said that he had been disinherited.

Alec left them in their delirium with a smirk.  


His apartment was empty, empty ready to be rent once again and even if he had seriously considered keeping it in just in case. Magnus didn't like this and just in case, had himself contacted the agency to make Alec give back his apartment.

Lydia found him stupid, but she didn't hesitate to say that in the case of a dispute or break up she would take him in.

''Seriously Alec,'' she had said with a tired look. ''He loves you, you love him, his cat loves you too so what the hell? Everything will be alright.''

Max was just worried about their usual evenings that had quietly resumed.

''I don't want to interfere in the life of a couple,'' he had said with a wince.

''They won't do anything when you’re there,'' Jace had smirked.

Izzy contemplated him in silence with a bewildered look.

''Never I would have thought that I'd see the day when you'd live with someone.''

''Especially with Magnus,'' had added Jace. ''Like what, everything happens.''

It did nothing to reassure Alec.  


The surprise was ready, fully ready given Magnus apparent excitement who was waiting at the exit of FancyB with a wide grin. He even was more excited than Alec who stared anxiously at him before kissing him.

Magnus grabbed his face in his hands to deepen their kiss, then kissed the space between his furrowed eyebrows, frowned with worry and apprehension.

''You'll love it,'' he promised.

Strangely, Alec was slightly frightened by Magnus' notion of surprise. He honestly imagined the worst, even if it started with a good intention.

Magnus pulled him eagerly by the hand, impatient that he discovered what he had prepared for him.

''It's a party?'' asked Alec.

''No,'' Magnus said with a little smile.

Alec was relieved, which didn't escape him.

''You thought I would do something this predictable?''

''Yes.''

Magnus huffed, falsely offended.

Except that progressively Alec slowed down. He didn't know what to expect and was trying to think about what it could be. Magnus rolled his eyes and firmly held his hand in his as if he was a reluctant child.

Alec looked at Magnus opening the door with a searching look. The latter's smile widened, he looked so happy and proud of him that a small smile appeared on Alec's lips.

''After you,'' Magnus said with a gallant gesture.

Alec rushed into the apartment suspiciously and reached for Chairman Meow. He had almost regained his original weight and seemed less lazy than usual. There was no one in the living room where he peered curiously.

But something had changed. Alec noticed it immediately.

Alec froze on the spot and Chairman Meow jumped down to rub against Magnus' legs who put a hand on his waist, waiting for a reaction. He was expecting a response and Alec turned his head slowly toward him, before moving to the new shelf filled with strangely familiar books.

Magnus had moved some furniture and their location to be able to put this new shelf. It wasn't as vast and imposing as had been Alec's one before but it was full of books that Alec had possessed at one time. There was even a corner where all his favorite books were gathered, mostly the same old editions -which had required a fortune-, or more recent ones.

''A certain little brother helped me,'' Magnus explained in his back. ''But he didn't remember everything, and I know that you had much older editions, but I didn't find them all.''

Alec stared, dumbly, at the books one by one. He was amazed and astounded that Magnus had bought almost the same ones, and with Max's help. He didn't dare even to imagine the price, but he knew.

He was pleasantly surprised, so much that he didn't have the words. He was even speechless. He felt happy, a bit of excitement had accelerated his heart's beating, and an almost dumbfounded smile curved his lips.

“I prepare it with Max since we saw you no longer had your books, they were at Ragnor's place all this time,'' Magnus added, kissing his temple.

So they were on it for a long time already.

Alec immediately embraced him feverishly to kiss him and whispered a _thank you_ that disappeared against his lips. Magnus slipped a hand against his cheek and the other behind his neck and kissed him back languidly.

''I told you you'd like it,'' Magnus murmured in a hotshot tone.

''I love you,'' Alec blurted out against his neck, squeezing him harder against him.

Magnus lifted his head and looked at him in a please way before kissing his nose. ''I know,'' he murmured.

''It must have cost you a fortune,''Alec mumbled before kissing his chin lightly and perfectly knowing that it did.

''That's the least of my worries,'' Magnus said, looking at him straight in the eye. ''But if you want to pay me back that much, you can pay with your body,'' he added casually.

Alec's smile widened against his chin and kissed him more passionately.

*

Alec was waiting for something. He didn't know what but something that would destroy this unusual smooth life. Living with Magnus was simple, great, natural and far from being boring. Their living styles were getting along quite well, despite some arguments over the alarm clock and the fact that Alec was reading too much.

It was too good to be true.

''We're made for each other,'' Magnus had said before kissing him. ''So stop worrying about how well things are going.''

Magnus was very social and sometimes went out a lot, which almost automatically brought Alec out as much. He was now seeing Catarina and Ragnor much more often and they didn't seem to complain. But at some parties, organized by him or one of his acquaintances, Alec wasn't as indifferent as before to the fact that Magnus attracted a little too much of the attention. His rational side told him it was perfectly reasonable, but he couldn't help being unconfident about their relationship and about him being himself.

Even if Magnus kissed him in front of everybody or were absently touching him as if it was a natural gesture.

Once, whereas they went to the movie theater with Max, Alec recognized his father among the crowd. It was surprising at first as they didn't even meet coincidentally before. Both Max and him froze, staring at him with apprehension. Robert was in good company, the woman on his arm was a little younger and pretty.

Magnus chose to intervene, took Max's shoulder and Alec's hand to take them away to his new favorite restaurant.

Life went on for everybody obviously, and Alec couldn't help feeling disappointment. He too would eventually recover.  


After isolating himself in the bedroom for work, Alec joined Magnus on the couch with Chairman Meow coiled against him and sat down beside him with a sigh. Magnus grabbed his knee with an amused smile and a comforting gesture.

Alec grabbed his book already started on the coffee table and watched it with a frown. His usual paper he used as a bookmark was gone, he opened it noticing something inside instead of his previous marker. It was a condom. He gazed at it lengthily before lifting his head towards Magnus with, he hoped, an impassive look.

The latter was watching him from the corner of his eye, watching his reaction with a cheeky smile before kissing him suggestively. Alec kissed him back with the same enthusiasm, the condom still in hand. It had been several times that he thought about using it, but he had never really even dared to say it out loud.

''I'd like to be the one to use it,'' he managed to say against his cheek, but not with as much confidence as he had wanted.

Magnus blinked and drew back his face to better stare at him with surprise.

''I never thought that this day would come,'' he marveled with wide eyes.

Alec frowned whereas Magnus beamed at him.

''Then I entrust you my body, just don't mess with it,'' he hastened to add as if he feared that he would change his mind. ''I like it a lot, especially my behind.''

Alec stared at him and Magnus rolled his eyes.

''Come here if you want to do me,'' he teased, pulling him to him with a grin.

It was a disaster.

Alec would have never thought that Magnus would tighten, pinch, bite and scratch this much. And that he would also be this impatient.

They had a way of doing it completely different and Magnus was particularly demanding. He insisted that Alec kissed him on the mouth and looked into his eyes during the whole time of their sexual intercourse because he liked it this way.

Alec was patient and took his time to satisfy him fully, in a teasing way he had to admit. Magnus hadn't been this patient and had painfully pinched his buttocks and scratched his thighs and his lower back.

But otherwise he liked it, it was different, very different and he had felt a little more and had fun before Magnus bruised his body now covered with red scratches at the bottom and bites at the top.

Magnus had had to guide him and directed his hips with intent gestures to make him know where to give him pleasure.

Alec had withdrawn almost immediately after, earning a grunt from Magnus who had captured him in his embrace. He had therefore remained a bit on him while the latter kissed his shoulders, his collarbones, and his neck in a loving way.

He knew that he wasn't exceptional and feared to be compared to his former lovers, but Magnus curled against him on the sofa, holding him firmly pressed against him.

''Did you feel good?'' Magnus asked Alec who was about to ask him the same.

''Yeah, I just didn't expect you to be so...passionate.''

''Sorry about that, I got carried away,'' he murmured gently stroking his back.

''What about you?''

Magnus grinned against his shoulder, kissing the damp skin. ''Next time if you tease me again I'll bite harder.''

''Are you talking about the magic kiss?'' asked Alec with a frown.

''I didn't want to cum immediately and you...''

''I did what you did to me.''

Magnus was silent. ''The student has surpassed the master,'' he murmured in an amused tone. ''I especially loved what you did with your tongue and...''

''Magnus,'' Alec said with burning cheeks.

''And your hips rolls, you were so sexy,'' he carried on with a wide grin before kissing his arm.

Alec hastened to stand up to throw the condom in the bin avoiding to watch the amusement and the little hearts in Magnus' eyes.

 

He still had trouble about letting go during sex and Magnus seemed to get used to it, at least in appearance.

''Alexander,'' he said with a mischievous spark in the eyes, one day. ''Let's try something.''

Alec turned back after filling his bowl with cereals and gave him a skeptical look. A silvery sheen in Magnus' hands immediately caught his eye.

''Why do you have handcuffs? '' he asked.

Magnus' smile widened. ''What do you think?''

Alec looked at him hesitantly. He didn't know that Magnus was into this kind of things, and he didn't know either if he wanted to play with that with him.

''You like this kind of things? '' he inquired, pouring milk in his bowl.

''Not really but we can try, it should be fun.''

The look of Alec converged again to the handcuffs, he didn't want to be the one that would be handcuffed but was a little more willing if Magnus was the one who would be tied up. He immediately imagined how it would be to not be scratched, pinched and even too strongly squeezed. And it pleased him.

''Okay but I don't want to be the one handcuffed.''

Magnus' astonishing eyes narrowed. ''I bought them especially for you,'' he clarified with a frown. ''They'll go so well with your skin, '' he murmured in a light tone.

So they both wanted to use the handcuffs on the other.

''I bought them, so I decide,'' Magnus declared.

Alec, who was now attracted to the idea of a handcuffed Magnus, scowled. ''Show me how to be handcuffed on you first and we'll see.''

They glared at each other whereas Chairman Meow loudly drank from his water bowl.

''Heads or tails,'' Magnus wisely suggested. ''Let's let the fate decide who should be handcuffed.''

The simplest would be that no one would be handcuffed, but it was way too alluring.

Alec winced, he had never been lucky in this kind of game and seriously thought about not wanting anything at all, but Magnus felt his hesitation and his smile became fierce.

''You have to live dangerously at times,'' he smirked. ''By the way, hold Chairman Meow.''

Alec took the tabby cat in his arms, and Magnus looked at him insistently.

''Tails, '' he mumbled.

Magnus grinned and threw the coin into the air. Alec squeezed harder Chairman Meow against his chest when he fidgeted, staring at the piece that rolled on the ground.

They moved closer to the coin and Alec knew at Magnus' triumphant smile that he had lost. He regretted having hold the cat firmly in his arms and sighed resignedly.

Magnus came up with a predatory smile and took his face in his hands.

''You'll like it,'' he said while narrowing his eyes in a please way.

And Alec found himself tied to the bed, still dressed up but not for a long time as suggested the mischievous and lascivious look of his boyfriend.

They were both still in their pajamas, but Magnus, as usual, was not wearing a top.

''I should have remove your clothes before,'' he realized with a frown while scrutinizing him.

''It's not too late to free me,'' Alec said with hope.

Magnus just smiled before leaving the room.

Alec rested his head on the pillow, wondering how he had ended up handcuffed and winced. The answer was simple: lust. He looked up at his cuffed wrists and tried to pull without success.

His eyes widened when he saw Magnus returned with a pair of scissors.

''I like that shirt,'' he blurted out.

''I don't, it's old, faded and full of holes,'' Magnus justified himself by climbing onto the bed to put astride his legs.

Alec stuck in his belly when Magnus gashed down, but he had only to draw to tear it entirely.

''I always wanted to do that,'' he said with a grin.

Maybe it seemed fun, but Alec was mortified and especially by Magnus' gaze on him now. The latter was seriously staring at him, especially his torso with avidity. He bent to stroke the tattoos in the crook of his arms, slid his hands along his ribs to stop on his hips as they lowered his pants slightly to see the balance better on his hip. Alec had stiffened and had followed his hands with his eyes before remembering that he mustn't behave like a cat.

''You never fully let go,'' he finally said. ''And you never give away when we have sex.''

''That's why you wanted to tie me up?'' asked Alec with a strangled voice.

''Yeah,'' Magnus answered in an obvious tone. ''This way you're completely at my mercy and it'll be fun.''

Alec narrowed his eyes and stuck in his stomach when Magnus leaned down to kiss his abdomen. The latter looked up, annoyed before putting his lips near his navel.

''Relax,'' he murmured against his skin holding him firmly by the hips.

Alec did his best to relax, but he was tied up, and Magnus was kissing his belly.

He tried to control his breathing when Magnus began to kiss him more passionately by biting and sucking his skin. He was abnormally taking his time and didn't stick against him to rub himself, unlike usual and Alec found himself frustrated.

He wanted to relieve some throbbing pain in his lower abdomen but he couldn't, Magnus seemed unwilling to touch him there immediately.

Alec gritted his teeth and took the time to respond to Magnus' kisses against his lips. He knew that even if he raised his pelvis upward, he wouldn't reach Magnus' one and couldn't, therefore, relieve his boner.

Magnus' hands went through his body except on what was below the belt and what was still dressed.

Alec finally let out a groan of frustration that Magnus stifled in a long kiss where his teeth and his tongue were involved.

Their hips still didn't touch even though Magnus was almost lying on him, leaning on his arms and knees. Alec cheated by going up his leg that pressed against Magnus' crotch and felt his boner on which he rubbed his thigh.

Magnus winced and stared into his blue eyes with a frown.

Alec was relieved to see that he wasn't the only one who had trouble to resist the urge to rub it. Magnus' lips brushed his, and when he straightened up, Alec lifted his head to capture his lower lip between his teeth for a kiss worthy of the name and wrapped a leg around his to destabilize him and enjoyed the fact that Magnus collapsed on him to wrap the other one around his hips before pressing himself while moving his hips upward to relieve his erection.

Alec couldn't repress a sigh of contentment and kissed Magnus on the corner of the lips.

Magnus' stare was unreadable, and Alec glanced up with a frown, trying not to move.

''Don't complain if you can't walk tomorrow, '' he warned him before kissing him.

His teeth scraped his lips, and his hips rubbed roughly against his with fingers buried in them to control their movements.

Usually Alec used his hands to accentuate Magnus' hips rolls but this time, he couldn't, letting the latter entirely satisfy him. He had never used his hips this much against Magnus who had slipped his hands against his buttocks kneading them without restraint, controlling his every move.

He sighed when his hand squeezed his hard member after having pulled down his pants and groaned when Magnus stroked their manhood together.

For a brief moment, Alec stared at his wrists where he saw two red marks by dint of too much pulling. Magnus' gaze followed his and he slid the body of Alec up in order to not hurt him by making him pull anymore.

''It's you who made me pull,'' he managed to mutter.

And it was true, Magnus drew him a little more down in the bed with each of his hips movements.

Alec's eyes then rested on their soiled bellies, and he bit his lips when Magnus opened the drawer of the bedside table to get out a condom and the lubricant.

He pressed his parted lips against Magnus' neck when the latter penetrated him and flinched when he held his hips in a way to give him more pleasure. Alec groaned in frustration when he pulled on the handcuffs, he couldn't touch Magnus, and it was starting to annoy him greatly.

Until the end, he remained tied up, and he had to admit that, although frustrated, he had felt more pleasure, and Magnus perfectly noticed it.

His shirt was sticking to his sweaty back, and Magnus' body was imprisoned him in a cocoon of warmth that made him wince. But it had been fun, in a weird way.

He closed his eyes, breathing heavily and pressed his face against his arm to move the strands of hair that stood in his way. Magnus straightened up in his arms, his body still pressed against his and helped him before resting his head against his heart and closing his eyes.

''Do you think you can untie me?'' asked Alec in a husky voice.

''I lost the key,'' Magnus answered mechanically, kissing his chest.

Alec sighed deeply, and Magnus straightened to untie him but didn't do it right away.

''It suits you so much,'' he beamed before slipping an arm on each side of his head to kiss him tenderly.

Alec frowned and watched him fiddling the lock and let out a sigh of relief when he was released. Magnus kissed the red marks on his wrists and Alec finally took the opportunity to hug him.

''Did you like it?'' Magnus asked against his chin.

Alec smiled. ''I'll like it even more when you'll be the one to be handcuffed next time,'' he said before pinching his buttocks. ''It'll be fun.''

But the handcuffs broke when they were used on Magnus for Alec's greatest misfortune, who was squeezed, pinched and scratched, and at Magnus' biggest disappointment.

Their closet was now filled with ties that none of them was wearing. They just had found another way to use them, and they were very resistant. Alec would have never thought that he would be so good at tying knots and Magnus would be as good at undoing them.

*

It had been three weeks since Lydia postponed the meal or rather the fateful moment when she would meet his siblings and Magnus. She had a busy schedule, and if it wasn't that, it was stress.

''It will be fine,'' Alec tried to reassure her. ''It's just a dinner.''

Lydia gave him a wary look.

''You don't want to meet Max? He really wants to see you.''

Lydia narrowed her eyes. ''Since when are you trying to coax me?''

''Since Magnus, Max, Izzy, and Jace harass me for you to come,'' he admitted. ''They'll be nice, and you love the same good wine as Magnus does, there'll be some.''

''I thought I was drinking too much,'' she stated.

''Lydia,'' he sighed.

''They'll be nice?''

'' Yes. ''

''I want to sit next to you, just in case,''

Alec smiled. ''If you want.''

''And you have to be the one who opens the door,'' she demanded again.

''Okay. So, when are you free?''

''Friday.''

''See you Friday then.''

''What should I bring?'' she anxiously asked.

''You don't have to.''

She rolled her eyes. ''If it goes wrong Friday I'll file a complaint,'' she smirked.

 

Magnus had forbidden Izzy from touching the slightest ingredient that was lying in the kitchen, she sat back, grumbling.

''We'll be nice,'' Jace said with a grin. ''We have no reason to be nasty.''

Izzy sat beside Alec and watched with amusement his neck. ''You seem to have fun and like horn dogs.''

Jace laughed whereas Max shook his head with a distressed look.

''Can I borrow this book?'' he asked Alec.

The latter nodded and stood up to join Magnus in the kitchen.

''She's allergic to anything?''

''I don't know.''

''We'll see,'' Magnus shrugged putting pepper in the meat sauce.

''She's really stressed at the thought of meeting you all. ''

Magnus smiled. ''I really had to scare her.''

His angry face would haunt her memory forever.

''You're scary when you're angry.''

''That's the purpose,'' Magnus smirked.

Alec stared lengthily at him before kissing him.

''Hey lovers, remember that Max is sleeping here tonight so no hanky-panky, '' Jace said, entering the kitchen. ''When will she be here?''

''She won't be long,'' said Alec, looking at the time on the oven.

And indeed, the doorbell rang.

''I'm going to open.''

Izzy and Max had stood up, eyes fixed on the door. They all had their eyes focused on the door.

Alec turned slowly toward them. ''Don't look at her this way,'' he said with a frown before opening the door.

''I'm so nervous that I want to throw up,'' she whispered by way of greeting.

''After if you want,'' he whispered back.

Lydia let out a squeal, and her eyes widened.

''Good evening,'' Magnus cheerfully greeted her over Alec's shoulder. ''I'm glad you were finally able to come.''

Lydia blinked. ''Yeah good evening,'' she managed to mumble.

''You can come in,'' he teased her.

Magnus magic worked, and she complied without throwing him a look from the corner of the eye. She looked quite tiny beside them all and Izzy gave her a soft look.

''Hi,'' she said while approaching.

''Hi,'' Lydia said with a shy smile.

''You know who we are,'' said Jace.

''Let's start all over again,'' Magnus declared. ''And let's eat.''

''Oh,'' said Lydia seeing Chairman Meow before bending to stroke him with a huge grin.

The tabby cat didn't resist and rubbed against her legs while Izzy that Magnus allowed to approach the kitchen helped him to bring the dishes.

''So,'' said Jace once they were installed. ''Your parents took care of Maryse's divorce.''

''They had to win a fortune, '' added Izzy with a smirk.

Lydia blinked. ''I guess.''

''What did you think of Alec the first time you saw him?'' asked Izzy.

''He must have seemed a bit silly to you, no?'' said Jace who winced when Magnus gave him a kick under the table.

''Some wine?'' Magnus proposed. ''Alec told me you loved that one.''

That one was the same he offered at the Palace when they were discovered. Lydia froze and held out her glass but not without casting a worried glance at Alec, sitting beside her.

''It's not poisoned,'' Magnus said with a grin. ''Don't worry.''

The meal went well, and Magnus used his charms to get her comfortable. Jace and Izzy teased her many times while Max smiled at her from time to time.

''You're really nice and to say that we hated you,'' Jace said with a big smile.

Lydia's smile twitched and Max decided to bring the dessert.

Izzy and Jace were soon bickering over nonsense whereas Alec took the opportunity to clear the table. When he returned from the kitchen, Lydia and Magnus had disappeared. He turned toward his little brother with a frown.

''Let them talk about you and pretend to not be aware,'' Max declared with a jaded look while petting Chairman Meow on the sofa.

''I have to go,'' said Izzy rising. ''I have a meeting with our dear mom, I'll let you know.''

''About what?'' asked Jace.

''I don't know.''

''I think it has to do with your project,'' said Max. ''Maybe she wants to help you fund it.''

Izzy snorted. ''I already have made a loan to the bank, I should probably make another one. I don't need it.''

''Lydia also has to go,'' said Magnus while lightly touching Alec's hand from his fingertips.

Izzy stared at her. ''We can share the same taxi if you want, I also want to talk to you.''

''I'm coming too, '' said Jace rising. ''I also have to go.''

''About what?'' asked Alec seeing the amused smile of Lydia.

She seemed much more relaxed than before, and Alec's stare went on Magnus who kissed his forehead.

''What did you talk about?'' he asked with a frown.

Magnus only pinched his cheek with an amused smile and went to say good night to the others.

Much later, when Max, Magnus, Chairman Meow and himself were planted in front of the TV in front of an action movie, Alec received a message from Lydia.

**Lydia**

_I'm home and still alive. Izzy and Jace are very nice and less frightening that they seem, and it is amazing how much Max looks like you! And know that you're an idiot, you underestimate a lot the love Magnus has for you._

**Lydia**

_I hope I'll find someone who loves me as much one day._

**Lydia**

_Idiot._

Alec frowned and looked up at Magnus who was stroking Chairman Meow, eyes glued to the screen. He knew that he was an idiot, but he couldn't help it. Max turned his head toward him and smiled before getting up.

''I am going to shower.''

''Tired?'' asked Magnus. ''The guest room is ready if you want.''

Max smiled and grabbed his bag leaning against the wall before searching into it to take some clothes.

''I forgot my clothes,'' he stated with a wince. ''Can I borrow something? Alec? ''

''Hmm? Yeah, go ahead.''

''She's very nice,'' Magnus said once Max went to their bedroom.

Alec nodded. ''You still don't want to tell me what you talked about?'''

''No.''

''Why?''

Magnus kissed him with a grin.

''Hey, it's not normal to have so many ties,'' Max said while going to the bathroom.

''To vary pleasure, '' Magnus declared with a smile.

Max narrowed his eyes. ''I don't want to know.''

Alec pinched his thigh and Magnus immediately demanded a magic kiss.

 

When Alec came out of the bathroom, he found Max and Magnus still on the couch. His little brother was holding a large sheet of paper and was looking at Magnus with bewilderment.

''Are you serious? She won't even read your list. ''

''She will.''

''She won't.''

''She will.''

''Magnus made a list of why mom should accept him as your boyfriend,'' said Max to Alec with a bemused smile.

Alec looked at Magnus with a frown. He didn't know that Magnus wanted her to accept him, or maybe he wanted to annoy her. He honestly thought that Magnus didn't care and was only joking about this list.

''It's me or no-one,'' he stubbornly said before changing his mind. ''It's me or me.''

Max's eyes wandered with amusement on the sheet. ''Anyone would want you in the family except mom, I'd immediately accept you.''

''Only fools don't change their minds,'' Magnus smirked. ''I'm awesome, she must know from now how much I am.''

*

In two days, Alec would be twenty-four years old, and he was oddly jaded about it. Each year, Alec had celebrated his birthday at the restaurant with his parents and Max, and with Izzy and Jace when they could come but Alec had often done something with his parents the J-day and something else the next day with his siblings.

This year would be different, and Alec wasn't impatient. He wondered if he would get even a text from his father wishing him a happy birthday and hoped that he would despite everything.

Curiously, Izzy, Jace, and Max didn't speak, not even hint at the slightest thing about this day. Maybe they had forgotten, it was the same for Magnus and Lydia.

It was better this way all in all.

His mother talked about it with him and asked what he would do this year because the situation was different. Alec shrugged. Maryse still didn't like Magnus, but since she had received his list of why she should accept him and his awesomeness, she seemed to tolerate his existence a little more.

''If you have nothing planned you can always come and get your present.''

She rolled her eyes when his eyes widened a little.

''I'm still your mother Alexander and have always offered you a gift even if you didn't like all of them, it won't change. Except our usual restaurant meals but you must be happy, you always seemed to suffer so much during these birthday meals...''

Maybe, but his parents had always been there and never more they would meet at a birthday party.

Last day before his birthday.

And Alec completely forgot to think about it, busy as he was with FancyB and the orders errors the trainee had decided to do. They spent the day on it, Alec spent the day to check everything under the newcomer's tearful eyes.

''Don't worry,'' he tried to reassure him.

''You'll pay damages and interest,'' Laura smirked which made Victor laugh and choke on his lemon tea.

Alec went home and refused the dinner between colleagues because he was too tired to socialize and he was pretty sure that they would all tease the intern endlessly.

Sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, Alec closed his eyes when Magnus began massaging his face and neck for his headache.

He didn't know if it should really be effective, but it wasn't unpleasant, especially when Magnus kissed his closed eyelids.

''Is it part of the massage?''

Magnus smiled. ''Of course, is it better or not?''

''Not really but it worked last time.''

So he leaned harder on some specific points in his neck and Alec almost fell asleep in his arms, his headache gone.

''Go to bed,'' said Magnus with an amused smile.

Alec complied with Chairman Meow who sprawled contentedly in the empty bed. He soon fell asleep, rocked by the purring of the tabby cat near his ear.

He opened his eyes, heavy with sleep, and blinked.

Alec cast a glance at the alarm clock: 0:03 am, he frowned and narrowed his eyes when Magnus kissed him.

''Happy birthday,'' whispered the latter against his lips.

Alec blinked and took the time to kiss him back. He looked again at the alarm clock with confusion.

''Did you wake me up to wish me a happy birthday?'' he asked in an incredulous tone.

Magnus' silence spoke for him. It sounded like something he would do to be the first one to wish him a happy birthday.

Alec sighed and reached his back. ''Thank you.''

Magnus' lips and breath brushed his cheek before settling again on his lips that he kissed softly. Only his lips were moving, pressing against his countless times. At least, until Alec understood that Magnus was kissing him twenty-four times.

He couldn't hide his smile.

''I was born in the afternoon, so it's not really my birthday yet,'' he murmured.

''I don't care,'' said Magnus while sticking his face against his.

And Alec nuzzled his head against his neck squeezing him more tightly against him.

''We're both awake and it's your birthday,'' Magnus murmured sliding his hands down his back, along his buttocks and thighs. ''What about celebrating that?''

Alec kissed his neck. ''Okay but I do you, it's my birthday.''

Magnus huffed. ''Exactly so let me do you.''

Alec narrowed his eyes. ''It's my birthday,'' he insisted.

''You just want to try the phosphorescent condoms,'' Magnus mumbled. ''This is my idea, so I decide.''

Alec rolled his eyes and rolled onto his back. They didn't fight much, it was more squabbling on the alarm clock that was too loud, books that sometimes dragged on the floor, but there was a recurring argument: who'll do the other? It was new, and it often settled thanks to a coin.

And Alec didn't win that much.

''Heads or tails?'' he suggested.

Magnus immediately turned on the light, sat up and opened the drawer of the bedside table with eagerness to get out their equipment and a coin whereas Alec sat, his eyes fixed on what he was doing.

''Heads,'' Magnus said before throwing the coin that he caught midair before pressing it against his other hand.

Alec raised his eyebrows, and a smile lit up his face, it was his birthday after all.

''You'll like it,'' he grinned before kissing his chin.

Magnus darted on him his mischievous gaze. ''I've initiated you after all so yes.''

When he took his shirt off, Alec thought that the day started rather well for him.  


Magnus groaned when the alarm started, and Alec pulled away from his embrace to turn it off.

''It's your birthday today, you don't have to work,'' Magnus mumbled against his neck.

Alec smiled and kissed his disheveled hair before getting up.

When he came out of the bathroom, Magnus was preparing breakfast, his breakfast, only wearing a gray boxer Alec suspected to be his.

''Go back to bed,'' he said seeing that Magnus was struggling to keep his eyes open, blinking like an owl bewildered by so much light.

But he refused to go back to bed, and Alec thought that he would never leave.

''Go home straight after work, '' Magnus murmured between several kisses.

''I always returned directly after work. ''

''Accept no invitation from anyone.''

Alec narrowed his eyes. ''Did you planned something with Chairman Meow?''

''A juggling act, you'll love it,'' Magnus smirked before letting him go.

On his way to FancyB, he received calls from Jace, Izzy, and Max who wished him a happy birthday. Even Lydia, Clary, Simon, Ragnor and Catarina thought of him. Alec didn't remember if many people have already wished him a great birthday.

This year was very different.

Even at FancyB, he was greeted with great fanfare. His office was decorated with stupid garlands where one fell into his coffee cup, and another failed to strangle Victor when he came to ask him something.

Even his mother thought about him, but nothing could be done, Alec couldn't help thinking about his father and his text which didn't come.

**Jace**

_I really want to see your face when you'll open my gift!_

Alec wondered for a moment what it could be and put his phone in his pocket.

 

When he opened the door, two things petrified him on the spot: the noise in the apartment and Chairman Meow who was wearing a cute pointed hat in addition to being covered in glitter as if he had rolled in it. He meowed plaintively, and Alec bent down to rub his glittery coat.

He feared to venture further into the apartment and remained kneeling in the entrance until Magnus went to look for him.

He went all out, and Alec looked at him, enthralled by his outfit and his beauty that he had managed to highlight so well.

''Silver glitter for you obviously,'' murmured Magnus waving his hand above his head.

Alec instinctively closed his eyes seeing flakes fell on him and opened them when he was kissed.

''Everyone's waiting for you,'' Magnus grinned.

They were all in the living room redecorated for the occasion. Magnus strained himself to decorate the room with candles, garlands, confetti, glitter...as if a carnival would be held.

Everyone was covered in glitter as if it was an obligatory ritual for the birthday party.

He met Max's gaze who gave him a big smile to show the glitter he had on his teeth, met the weary look of Ragnor and Catarina used to this kind of stuff for a long time already and Lydia's jaded expression who gave him a raised eyebrow.

They were all there, and the table was filled with gifts.

Alec didn't expect that at all.

Jace gave him a big pat on the back and Izzy a big hug while Clary and Simon were trying to get rid of the glitter they had in their hair.

Max discreetly asked him if Robert had sent him a message under the piercing gaze of Lydia and Magnus who were not far away.

“No.’’

They were all more excited than him and Alec although happy to see them wasn't smiling with as much sincerity as he wanted. It was the first time he was surrounded this much for his birthday, and he was baffled.

Simon, Izzy, and Lydia were moved to see Chairman Meow's cuteness and fell on him to pet him under his caterwauls.

Everything seemed unreal.

They went to the table, and Alec didn't hide his surprise on learning that Catarina had spent the day cooking the meal with Magnus, just to prepare everything he loved to eat. Everyone was talking cheerfully, and Alec watched Lydia in amusement when she immediately held out her glass for Magnus' wine.

“Do you feel different?” asked him Ragnor.

“No.”

“He'll always be more mature than Magnus,” Catarina murmured with an amused smile.

Alec grinned and looked amused at the latter who frowned when he noticed he was being stared at.

“You dared criticize me?”

“She only told the truth,” Ragnor smirked.

Magnus narrowed his eyes and touched Alec's thigh under the table.

“I'd like to propose a toast,” Jace said with a smile. “Sorry Alec it'll be embarrassing.”

“Nothing will be as embarrassing as wearing as much glitter as I do,” said Simon. “And red is not my color.”

“I didn't have anything else for you,” Magnus retorted.

Alec then noticed that they were all covered with red or green glitter whereas he and Magnus were the only ones to have a different color: gold for Magnus, silver for him.

“There's favoritism,” he grumbled.

“Whatever,” said Jace. “Happy birthday Alec! This year has been damn eventful for you, but you're in good shape, right? You said fuck to Robert, you have a boyfriend, a sexual life, you even have friends, and we even kissed!''

Magnus and Clary frowned whereas the others were wondering what was wrong with him. Lydia raised her eyebrows and gave them an amused look.

“He's already wasted,'' Izzy sighed.

“I love you buddy, and you'll love my gift!” he bellowed, sitting down.

Alec stammered some thanks, scared now to have his present.

“It wasn't so embarrassing as that,” protested Simon disappointed.

With a wide grin, Izzy got up. “My turn.''

“You're not going to make a speech?” asked Catarina to Magnus.

“When we'll be alone,” he murmured.

“I won't,’’ Max said while watching Alec, Chairman Meow on the lap. “Unless you want one.”

“Hey,” rebuked them, Izzy. “It's my turn.”

“We're all yours,” Magnus said with a wide grin.

Izzy smiled and took a deep breath. “As Jace said Alec happy birthday. I'm glad to now that you're sleeping in a real bed and that you're finally happy. ''

Lydia smiled and nodded.

“You're happy, right?”

Alec hastened to nod, still wondering if he really was.

Izzy's smile widened. “And I love you, but you already know that.”

She walked around the table to hug him. Embarrassed, he hugged her back, pondering that it  was only a birthday they didn't have to do that.

The meal went well, and Lydia seemed to get along with Izzy and Clary with whom she was talking happily. Simon and Alec exchanged a jaded look contemplating the glitter of the other.

“I feel like I'm a Christmas tree ball,” he mouthed with a wince.

“I'm a disco ball,” Alec mouthed back with a smile.

“A pretty disco ball,” Magnus murmured against his ear after kissing his temple.

“I wonder how Chairman Meow can still love you again,” stated Jace to Simon.

“Don't give him any food,'' Magnus growled.

Alec saw his little brother looked away guiltily, which seemed to amuse greatly Lydia who gave him a big smile.

“Everyone is ready for the dessert?” asked Catarina.

“I'm already here,” Jace smirked which earned him the skeptical look of Lydia and made Clary buried her head in her hands.

“Tell me that you love him just for his appearance,” sighed Simon casting a distressed look at Clary.

''It's not as if there was something else to like,” Magnus stated with mischief.

“I'll help you,” Lydia suggested to Catarina whereas Alec was talking to Max about Ellie.

The cake, a tiered cake, with two candles forming a twenty-four and a fireworks candle that Magnus lit under the curious eyes of Chairman Meow on the table that Simon had failed to hold back.

The tabby cat burned down his whiskers and hissed under Magnus' dismayed look whereas Alec hastened to blow his candles to avoid another incident.

“What about your wish?'' Magnus asked with wide eyes.

Alec narrowed his. “This kind of stuff doesn't work.''

“Of course, it does.''

“Next year?” shyly suggested Lydia who had approached. “Happy birthday Alec, I hope you'll like it.''

She offered him a nice card and a night blue scarf she had knitted herself. Max a book, Clary gave him a portrait of Magnus and a card, he also received a voucher for a tattoo from Simon, a clock collection from Ragnor who whispered a _'continue to make Magnus an early riser'_  and a trip for two from Catarina.

“You don't have to take Magnus with you, choose whoever you want,'' she said before taking him in his arms. “You look much happier than before,” she whispered in his ear. “I like you, Alec, really, but I had serious doubts about you. How could you expect to make Magnus happy when you were not happy yourself? It's the same with love, it's hard to love someone when you don't love yourself... All this to say that I'm glad all is well now.''

Alec had stiffened in her arms and even more when she kissed his cheek in an affectionate gesture. He awkwardly hugged her back to thank her for what she had done.

“I always wanted to go to Japan,” Simon chimed in with a grin.

Alec thanked them all with as much sincerity as he could which earned him Jace's distressed look who shook his head.

“He'll always be emotionally constipated,” he whispered to Clary.

Magnus then approached with several presents in his hands which made Alec frowned. He didn't expect anything from him because he already organized everything, the meal, had bought him the same books he had owned, some clothes and lots of little things from time to time... Alec was already spoiled.

''Happy birthday, '' he murmured before kissing him.

''Thank you for everything,'' Alec managed to whisper between two kisses.

Ragnor cleared his throat. ''I remind you that there's a teenager here.''

''I don't mind,'' said Max.

Magnus kissed him one last time before giving him his presents. Alec opened the smallest one, it was a black box, which he opened with curiosity.

''Do you like it? It's much more discreet than the one you had before.''

The watch was simple and far less flashy than the one he had before and that he had to give back to his father. The bracelet was in black leather, the dial in silver with a starry background whereas the twelve and six were a Sun and a Moon.

''You can see the phases of the Moon,'' Magnus murmured with a smile.

And without looking at the others, he kissed his shoulder where his tattoo echoed to his gift. Alec thought about kissing him to thank him but finally thought that he would give him a big one for all the gifts at the end.

Magnus also offered him three particularly old books for his collection, a yes/no pillow, a  thick blanket to bundle up when reading or to hedge when Magnus was too warm and wouldn't want sheets on him. And a letter where Magnus with his elegant writing had literally written a novel with a voucher for life with Magnus Bane.

Alec read it all, and his throat tightened. He felt a lot of emotions on which he couldn't put words, but he knew one thing: he wanted to kiss him, and that was what he did.

''Usable from when?'' he murmured, placing his gifts on the table.

''From now on,'' said Magnus while taking his face in his hands. ''And no possibility of refunds, return or exchange.''

Alec kissed him passionately, touching his lips with his tongue and teeth, but everything was still under control.

Jace cleared his throat. ''Hey, it's not over Alec, there's Izzy and I, so stop and get our presents, and Lydia is going to hyperventilate.''

''That's because I find them cute,'' she protested. ''Go on.''

For once, Magnus was the most reasonable one. ''We'll continue afterward,''' he said.

''Hence our gifts,'' Izzy grinned.

''They're combined because it corresponded to the same theme,'' Jace declared while wiggling his eyebrows.

Alec frowned and accepted the package until his gaze fell on Clary who really looked embarrassed and seemed to know what was inside, especially with the way her eyes converged to him to Magnus.

He suddenly hesitated to unwrap in front of everyone who was watching over his last gift.

''Open it,'' Jace pressed him with an encouraging smile.

Max gave him a suspicious look and whispered something in the ear of Izzy who nodded and he rolled his eyes.

Alec tore the gift wrap and frowned when he saw a black box that seemed busy. It wasn't very big and not too heavy, he shook it a bit to find out what was inside and opened it.

He shouldn't have.

Obviously, everyone had seen its content and seemed highly amused by it on the contrary of Max who sighed. Alec immediately closed it, cheeks burning whereas Jace decided otherwise and snatched it from his hand to open it in big.

Simon leaned over to have a better look and laughed.

There were several boxes of condoms, some sex toys, handcuffs, gay porn and a lovely calendar with pretty guys.

''No need to use ties like this,'' Izzy teased leaving the handcuffs of the box. ''Thanks Max for the present hint.''

Alec blushed all over again and felt a horrible heat invaded his face, then he crossed Lydia's amused expression. She seemed to have a lot of fun.

''I won't judge you. ''

''I won't either,'' said Simon.

''I will,'' said Ragnor with a frown. ''What are you doing with ties?''

All eyes turned toward the pale green tie he was wearing.

''Even I, I know,'' Max declared.

''Alec look, we bought that especially for you,'' Jace clarified brandishing something that Alec refused to look at.

Magnus looked at the sex-toy thoughtfully.

Izzy blasted the box from his hands and put it back under her older brother's nose.

''No sex-toys then if you really don't want it...but look handcuffs are always useful, condoms even more and scented! Strawberry, banana... according to your desires!''

''I prefer nature,'' Magnus said by resting his chin on Alec's shoulder.

Izzy grinned and continued her presentation under the skeptical gaze of his brother, who was looking for Max. Lydia and him were throwing balls of paper to a lazy Chairman Meow who was only moving his paws, lying on his belly.

''Look at those babes and I know you'll like them. I selected the best of the best for you,'' she said, waving a porn under his eyes.

And Alec had to admit that the man on the cover was far from being ugly and looked at him longer than necessary. Magnus cleared his throat and dug his chin a little further in his shoulder.

''Looking is not cheating,'' Izzy claimed.

''It's only paper,'' said Catarina.

''A sexy paper,'' added Simon who asked permission to take the calendar. ''So, you chose them?'' he asked Izzy who nodded.

''With the porn, Jace took care of the condoms and the sex-toys.''

''I think it was the most embarrassing moment of my life,'' stated the concerned one with a frown. ''And I forgot the handcuffs, Clary got them for me because I didn't dare to go back in this place,'' he winced.

Clary nodded and smiled with embarrassment.

''Well, thanks, I guess...but I don't want the sex-toys.''

Izzy shrugged. ''I'll take them.''

Simon stared at her with worry and she winked at him with a seductive smile.

''So you take everything else?'' Magnus asked nonchalantly.

Alec didn't answer and avoided his eyes whereas Magnus was looking at his calendar and gay porn with narrowed eyes.  


In a way, it had been the best birthday of his whole life so far.

He thanked everyone once again and Catarina for the meal.

''Magnus did everything,'' she told him with a grin.

''Use your handcuffs and leave these poor ties in peace,'' said Ragnor before leaving.

Whereas the others had only wished them to have fun.

Alec stared at the ceiling of the room and hugged Magnus when he went to bed.

''Thank you.''

Magnus chuckled and patted his back. ''You're welcome.''

They remained entwined, and Alec nuzzled his head against the crook of his neck.

''You'll see your mother tomorrow?'' Magnus murmured against his hair that he stroked.

''Hmm, we'll eat together. ''

Magnus didn't ask him anything about Robert and Alec was grateful. He hadn't been discreet watching his phone as often as he had done but Magnus had said nothing. Alec knew he was stupid to expect a message from him after all these months.

And yet, he hoped.

The screen of his phone suddenly lit up the room, and Alec opened his eyes. He slowly moved in order to not wake Magnus up and bent down to retrieve his phone on the floor. A number not so unknown had sent him a message at 11:57 pm.

_Happy birthday._

Alec stared lengthily at the message and a small smile appeared on his lips to immediately disappear. He was pathetic, but he couldn't help himself.

''It's him?'' asked Magnus with a husky voice.

''Yeah.''

Magnus' hand immediately reached for him, and Alec put back his phone on the floor and nuzzled against him. He didn't send a reply to thank him.

*

Maybe Alec didn't need to reincarnate into something in his next life to be happier. Life would have been certainly easier if he had been a flower, a hedgehog, an otter or a turtle but everything was strangely fine.

It was fishy.

Alec almost expected that karma would catch him up and show him that life could be unpredictable, but nothing happened to his amazement.

He stared at Magnus when he went out of their bedroom with Chairman Meow in his arms.

''Little Monster,'' Magnus whispered affectionately seeing his cat pounce on his bowl before sitting next to Alec.

The latter took the teapot and poured some tea with berries in a cup that he slid toward him. Magnus grabbed his wrist and kissed it.

''I'll be late tonight, I have a meeting,'' he grumbled.

''You finally give the impression of working,'' Alec said.

Magnus grunted and sipped his tea.

Alec frowned when he noticed his quick glances as if he was hesitating to tell him something.

''What is it?''

''What do you think about weddings?'' Magnus suddenly asked rubbing his bare arm.

Alec frowned. ''In general?''

He immediately thought about his parents and how it had ended: in court.

''I think this institution isn't worth much these days, and it's not necessarily necessary. ''

''Not necessary?'' Magnus asked lowly.

''This is not an end in itself, I think it's not necessary for a couple... Why is someone you know getting married?'' Alec asked with curiosity.

Magnus stared at him. ''So you're against weddings?''

''I'm not against it, anyone can get married, good for them.''

''But...do you want to marry someday?''

Alec, who had stood up to put his cup in the sink froze and turned slowly.

''It's a trick question?''

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''Answer me.''

''Why are you asking me all this?'' he asked suspiciously.

''Like that.''

''No.''

Magnus looked up. ''No?''

''Not necessarily.''

It was not that big of a deal, in fact, it was just a too far notion that left him slightly indifferent.

''What about you?''

''Yes, I'd like to marry some day.''

Alec stared at him.

''And preferably with you,'' Magnus clarified shyly.

They looked at each other, eyes locked together.

''Obviously, you're not ready,'' Magnus said with a sad smile before pinching his cheek. ''But I'm very patient. I helped you come out of your closet, and I convinced you to move in with me so I believe that you'll end up marrying me one day. ''

Alec opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Magnus grinned softly and kissed him.

''And only fools don't change their mind,'' he whispered.

Alec thought about it for days with anxiety, wondering if they were forced to go through it. It wasn't necessary, and it wasn't needed for him. He loved Magnus, and he didn't need a wedding to prove it.

But they didn't talk about it again, and Alec kept silent about this matter.

Not even Izzy, Max, Lydia and not even Jace knew. Anyway, they were too busy with their now responsible adult lives. Izzy had started her image consultant company and Jace continued his course and were now teaching at the conservatory whereas Lydia had integrated as planned the cabinet of her parents.

Only Max could remain unconcerned about life worries despite being fifteen years old.

Alec smiled at the postcard he had sent to Magnus and him. He was in Spain with their mother and said they both looked like crayfish. He was eager to see the pictures.  


''Magnus?''

''Hmm?''

''He sent me a message.''

Magnus stared at him with wide eyes. ''Wow,'' he sarcastically said. ''He took his time! What does he want?''

''Speak. Izzy, Jace and Max refused.''

''You don't have to accept, not to mention that the last time that you saw each other, you fought... Do you really want to see him?''

Alec was no longer expecting something from him, but he wanted to know what Robert wanted from him after all this time.

''I don't know,'' he answered with a frown and ignored his texts.

Robert took his time to question himself and no one was waiting for him, not even Maryse who like Alec had waited and then became tired of waiting endlessly.

And what if nothing had changed? What would he do? He didn't know; he didn't even know if he would forgive him. Alec didn't think about it.

''Would you forgive him?'' asked Magnus with a sigh.

''You forgave me, so I don't know.''

Magnus huffed. ''It's not the same and don't forgive him this easily. He took his time, and he reappears out of the blue hoping to be welcomed with open arms..., '' he mumbled.

''Maybe he didn't change...''

''Then don't waste your time with him.''

''How should I know in this case if he changed or not?''

Magnus sighed deeply. ''Do you want to see him?''

''I don't know,'' murmured Alec, and he stopped talking about that.

 _Nothing had to be expected from him,_  he tried to convince himself without conviction.  


Magnus grunted when he heard the shrill ringing of the alarm clock that Ragnor had offered to Alec who adored it. But this time, Alec didn't move and snuggled with a frown against Magnus who sat up and crushed it to turn it off.

''Don't break it,'' he grumbled against his torso.

Magnus hummed and brushed his shoulder with a kiss before getting up first, unusually. Alec sat up and blinked.

Something was wrong but what? Magnus averted his eyes as if he was embarrassed.

''What's wrong?'' he finally asked wondering if he had forgotten something.

''Nothing...you're just not fully awake. ''

Alec frowned. ''Whose fault is it?''

Magnus grinned. ''Mine and you like it.''

Alec took out their cups and something to eat under the piercing gaze of Chairman Meow who was waiting to be fed.

Magnus also seemed to wait for something and stared at him without moving. Even when Alec did the dishes. He wasn't fully awake, it wasn't the first time, but it could happen, and usually Magnus was often the one to not be fully awake.

''What's wrong?'' he asked again.

Magnus lengthily gazed at him with his distressed look whenever Chairman Meow was doing something that he shouldn't and shook his head before going into the bathroom under the narrowed eyes of Alec who really understood nothing.

Same look when he brushed his teeth.

Same look in the elevator.

And Alec even thought he wouldn't have his usual good day kiss. He winced when Magnus grabbed him by the collar of his coat and harshly slammed his lips against his. Alec didn't dare to kiss him back and frowned, ready to ask what was going on.

''I love you as you are,'' Magnus sighed resignedly, looking at him lengthily.

And he strode under Alec's incredulous eyes.

It was on the subway that he realized it while trying to remember what he had done the day before to make Magnus staring at him this way. He felt dumb, insensitive, and obviously not fully awake.

He had rubbed his hand, bothered by something. And it was there that he noticed this _something_ which was different in his left hand and in particular at his ring finger which had now a ring.

Alec stared at it and had to face facts: he wasn't dreaming, he wasn't having a nightmare, and he wasn't hallucinating.

It was a simple silver ring at the right size. He then wondered how he hadn't noticed it sooner; the ring bothered him, he felt his presence but only now.

No wonder Magnus had behaved as he did.

Alec sighed and waited to be at FancyB to remove it and have a better look. But he didn't look away and tried to stay calm and not panic.

There was an A and a M engraved on the inside.

Alec stared and wondered what this ring meant from now on. He had to admit that he was a little overwhelmed by it. Just thinking about this ring made him nervous, confused, excited and happy.

Was it Magnus' proposal or just a random ring? It still had a meaning nevertheless.

Alec pulled out his phone and called him, the heart madly pounding.

''I finally noticed it,'' he awkwardly said.

''You're slower than me sometimes,'' Magnus declared, but his voice wasn't as confident as usual.

''What does that mean?''

''What do you think?''

''Is it your marriage proposal?''

''This is one,'' murmured Magnus.

''How did you do for the size?''

''I know everything about you,''

Alec smiled. ''Does that mean that I have to buy you a ring?'' he asked uncertainly.

The question went out alone, he suddenly wondered if it meant yes. Unconsciously, he had responded even if he wasn't particularly up for a wedding.

Magnus remained silent a long moment. ''I want a large sapphire surrounded by diamonds.''

Alec snorted.

Magnus took a deep breath. ''Is it a yes?''

Alec also took a deep breath. ''Well... I have no arguments against it and if that's what you want... but I still say that I don't need that to be with you... and I still have the voucher for life with Magnus Bane.''

''I want a large sapphire surrounded by diamonds, '' Magnus repeated.

''Okay.''

''Alexander?''

''Hmm?''

''I really want to see Jace with pink hair, let's make it real,'' he said before hanging up.

Alec's smile widened, he really wanted to see that too.

 

It was not until returning home that he wondered what it would be of their names.

Magnus didn't seem to have thought about that. ''Heads or tails?'' he suggested.

He threw the coin that fell on the floor and rolled toward Chairman Meow who threw himself on it. Magnus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

''Anyhow Lightwood-Bane and Bane-Lightwood sounds great, don't you think?'' Magnus murmured before hugging him.

Alec narrowed his eyes as throwing a coin wasn't that necessary all in all. 

It sounded weird, but he'd get used to it if it got real and even if it was a little scary.

''I'm sure you did it just to get a ring,'' he murmured against his neck.

Magnus chuckled. ''And especially to have you but I'm so impatient to have my future amazing ring. Don't forget to buy it.''

Alec imagined what it would look like on Magnus and smiled. Everything suited him, right?

''Then why don't I have a single diamond on mine?''

''You want one?''

''No.''

''See, I thought it would be perfect as it is for you...Besides, you have a tattoo with the chemical formula of silver nitrate on your sides so...silver was made for you,'' Magnus explained while caressing his cheekbone, before kissing him tenderly.  


Later in bed, he looked again at his ring and Magnus mingled their fingers together.

''Thank you,'' he murmured while Magnus was kissing his sides where he had his constellation tattoo added to his siblings and his own.

He had thought carefully about what tattoo he had to add thanks to Simon's gift to finally choose the constellation of Magnus' zodiac sign.

''Thanks for loving you?'' Magnus asked brushing his nose against the chemical formula of the silver nitrate on his right side. ''You're more than welcome and anytime.''

They were silently nestling against each other.

''Do you ever think about how things would have been if nothing had changed?" Alec asked while contemplating the ceiling and stroking Magnus' hair.

''No, they would have changed no matter what because I would have made the first move.''

Alec snorted. ''Right...but you already did, it's thanks to you in a way. I would never have imagined me like that,'' he said with a frown.

''You mean naked in bed with me?''

''Yeah.''

Magnus kissed his chin. ''It was only a matter of time, I always get what I want, and I wanted you, so it happened.''

Alec blinked. ''And you made me want you.''

''I finally got there,'' he admitted with a satisfied smile.

''By the way,'' Alec said while stroking his back. ''I have to see Robert tomorrow so if I'm not coming back... you'll know why,'' he joked.

It didn't make Magnus laugh who straightened up with a frown.

''It was a joke,'' Alec clarified.

Magnus peered at him lengthily with an indecipherable look before kissing him. ''Where?''

''The cursed restaurant.''

''Put your ring in evidence as soon as you can.''

''I'll try,'' he agreed with a smile that Magnus hastened to kiss.

And Alec squeezed him a little harder against him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's the last chapter, the end, guys ! I'm happy but in a sad way now...I need to do some self-reflection to know how I feel right now... Thanks a lot for your kudos and comments, they all were encouraging and reassuring you don't know how much ! Thanks to every of you ! 
> 
> I didn't forget about my bonus chapter with Magnus. 
> 
> See you in September as I'm taking some vacation because I need to take a break from reality (it'll still be reality but in a better way) and my responsibilities (I'll still have to be responsible about myself though)...  
> Anyway, you can subscribe to the story if you don't want to miss the bonus as I don't know when I'll update exactly, and it'll be chapter 17: Through Magnus' Eyes (TME part1) ! *glittery wink*  
> See you and enjoy your vacation (or is it too late for me to say that?) ! 
> 
> And have a virtual hug ! :)
> 
> Thanks caz !
> 
>  
> 
> /!\ Chapter 17 is written just waiting to be betaed :) (3oct2016)


	17. Bonus: Through Magnus' Eyes (TME: part 1 [1 to 4])

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys !
> 
> Sorry, this chapter is unbetaed as my beta is very busy and I couldn't wait anymore ! I apologize for the mistakes and if there're foreign words, despite reading again and again, it means I'm too tired to notice them ! ^^'
> 
> So this is the bonus' part 1, it covers chap 1 to 4 through Magnus' eyes. I added things, changed some and it's mainly focused on Alec (99,7%) !  
> It took me a long time (sorry), I found it difficult to write it from Magnus' POV at first, like thinking in a confident way -if you know what I mean-. And I sincerely wondered if I had to write it finally, so...I even ended up erasing my first try with 30 pages -that's how unconfident I was with this bonus- but never mind ! I finally wrote it ! :)

Magnus was wondering if it was a good idea to throw a party, especially when the man who had organized the said party was unable to have fun. He felt out of place here and felt like an outsider. Too much parties killed the partier in him.

It also meant that this party was a disaster from his point of view and even if people seemed to have the fun of their life. Magnus didn't have fun so it sucked.

His eyes fell on Jace and Izzy who seemed to enjoy themselves a lot and his lips twitched into a little smile. They knew how to have fun, which justified their presence here. He had met them at a club one night and was intrigued and almost drawn to their beauty and carefree attitude.

Magnus remembered -not very well because of the alcohol- having fun in their company and then had wanted both of them to one of his parties, and finally to all of them.

He liked those siblings and found them fun, besides their irresponsible side was entertaining for the jaded adult he had become lately. Their youth and beauty were also very refreshing. Obviously, they were spoiled and lived in an contemptuous carelessness of everything around them.

Magnus could perfectly relate to them.

But he also knew, by someone, that they weren't in good terms with their parents. He knew no more, and the rest didn't interest him that much, they were fun and were always coming, that was all that mattered.

People came to have fun and just wanted to have fun, not to feel sorry about their lives that they could forget for an evening.

''Chairman Meow escaped,'' sighed Ragnor while filling his glass, next to him.

Magnus turned to him and rolled his eyes. ''I can't go against his thirst for freedom.''

''If you had shut him correctly in your room he wouldn't have come out.''

Magnus lengthily watched his glass, mesmerized by the colored content and raised it to have a closer look. He then realized that someone had to enter his room if his cat was now free. Nobody had the right to go there. He held out his glass to his longtime friend and crossed the partier crowd jostling those who didn't move, and gave friendly smiles when he could. He finally arrived safely in front of his room, the door was wide open and the light was on.

He looked up to the ceiling and his lips curled up. Some people could be really inconsiderate.

He came in loudly as he could and showed no surprise in front of the couple half-naked on his bed, making-out.

Magnus leaned against against his closet and cleared his throat. His eyes were only two slots that anger had made yellow.

''No wonder my cat ran away,'' he stated dryly.

The man, who had his nose in the neckline of his girlfriend, slowly raised his head and turned to him incredulously, and looked incredibly stupid.

''Get out,'' Magnus simply added in the same tone.

He rolled his eyes when he saw the lack of reaction of the completely silly couple. And then, finally and with an incredible slowness, the girl rose and her boyfriend gave her her pants, and they left the room without looking at Magnus who wondered where he could have meet them. They surely were the friends of friends of a vague acquaintance.

Magnus heaved an annoyed sigh and took back his glass from Ragnor's hand who was waiting outside his room, Chairman Meow in his arms.

''I caught him, so what happened?'' asked the latter with a frown.

Magnus rushed over the tabby cat to cuddle him and muttered : ' _I'm sorry_ ', ' _you must be traumatized_ ', and other words that made Ragnor roll his eyes.

''Chairman Meow must be used to it,'' he commented with a smirk. ''I dare you to tell me otherwise.''

''I'm his master,'' retorted haughtily Magnus.

''It changes nothing to the trauma.''

Magnus huffed, cuddled the tabby cat who didn't seem to care, and suddenly noticed that Ragnor was wearing his brown leather jacket.

''You're leaving?'' he asked while nesting his head in the fur of his cat.

''Yes, I feel that your party will degenerate and I don't want to be there when it happens.''

Magnus gave him a skeptical look before hearing shouts of joy when a trendy music was spat through the speakers. Someone had increased the sound and people were a little over-active.

''Don't tell anything to Catarina,'' he demanded.

Ragnor frowned. ''About what? Your party where you don't have fun at all ?''

''The most important thing is that everyone has fun,'' Magnus stated with a shrug.

Ragnor stared at him. ''You're okay?''

''You mean it's really amazing that I'm still sober?'' he smirked. ''I'll make up for it don't worry.''

Ragnor patted his shoulder, asked him to be good and stroked Chairman Meow before leaving.

''Sleep well my little cabbage !'' yelled Magnus with mischief, attracting the attention of some partiers near them.

Ragnor froze and turned slowly. ''I'm not your little cabbage.''

''You know that you are a small cabbage anyway then?''

Ragnor frowned. ''Go and party Magnus,'' he sighed.

''I will,'' Magnus grinned with mischief.

But he didn't.

Drugs and alcohol weren't compatible, he noticed for the umpteenth time, seeing the mess that had become his apartment. His party had peaked and was gradually degenerating to the point that even Chairman Meow refused to leave his arms.

He drank a few glasses, socialized, dazzled, shone a thousand lights, and his cat finally jumped from his arms to jump on something glittering on the ground that looked suspiciously like the handle of a cupboard door. Magnus watched him, distributed some smiles to his guests and was approached by a handsome young man who kept staring at him.

They exchanged a few kisses but it didn't go further, he had no desire, the energy and even less the motivation. All he felt was emptiness and weariness. He drank by himself half of a fairly high alcohol bottle and began to feel the effects with relief. Finally, he would get to enjoy his party.

But this feeling of weariness didn't leave him and he seriously began to feel foreign to everything that was surrounding him, as if he wasn't home and as if it wasn't his party. He wondered with confusion what he was doing here and regretted the departure of Ragnor.

Magnus thought seriously to stop everything and to clear off everyone from his place but he hadn't the energy nor the will. His party escaped him but it didn't matter, everyone had fun and it was the most important.

 

A glass of wine in hand, and leaned against the glass door of the balcony, Magnus did as if he didn't see or didn't hear his party degenerate. He had seen Jace fight and destroy a painting that Jocelyne had painted for him, and then had destroyed the sofa with the help of a girl in her stilettos. The daggers in her shoes did the rest.

Izzy had tried to stop them, but she had soon stopped any attempt to be responsible when she had seen that they wouldn't listen. As Magnus, who had given up to be involved. He had to redecorate his apartment anyway.

He nonchalantly looked at the time on his cell and raised an eyebrow. It was quite late.

He threw another peek at his apartment state and discovered that it was almost deserted. He was surprised for not having noticed despite having pretended  to not notice. His tabby cat was still playing with the handle of a cupboard and people were walking like zombies here and there, slowed down by alcohol and other illicit substances.

With his foot, Magnus touched one of his speakers that had been massacred and looked at the bits and pieces of glasses that gauged the ground.

A hilarious couple passed by him and made the lamp that he had bought not so long ago, and which had cost him a small fortune, fall. It hit the ground in a crash and the bulb exploded. But they didn't care, they walked on the ruins and headed outside as if nothing had happened. It was too dark to distinguish their faces, but Magnus was ready to bet that it was the same couple he had found in his room earlier in the evening.

He sighed and looked down as he felt his cat rubbing against his legs. He put his glass on the floor and took him in his arms.

The couple finally left his apartment, giggling and leaving the door ajar, without a thank you, without a goodbye, without nothing. They left as they had come, and with the same indifference that characterized them all.

Magnus turned on himself, crunching the hits and pieces under his feet and looked at the damage with the same indifference.

 _I'll have to call a cleaning crew,_ he thought before walking slowly through the different rooms of his apartment, and identifying where were his last guests, too drunk or stoned to return home.

He raised an eyebrow when he saw Jace and his sister asleep in the bathroom with most of the partiers. Magnus took out his phone and took a picture with a big smile. He found it strange that people were particularly fond of his bathroom to sleep, but only the bathroom, kitchen and his room had been spared. He threw at them a last glance and went back into the living room seriously thinking of going to bed despite their presence and the chaos.

He stroked Chairman Meow, who narrowed his eyes, behind the ears and once in the living room heaved a sigh in front of the damage before thinking about his next party.

Lost in his thought and wondering what he would say to Catarina in order to make her go with him to buy new furniture and new trinkets, he didn't see a shadow sneaking inside his apartment.

It was the sound of the footsteps grinding what was destroyed that caught his attention. Magnus looked up with a frown and scrutinized the intruder walking like a penguin to avoid making more noise.

He could see, thanks to the lighting outside, that the person was tall but his stature didn't ring a bell and he wondered if he had already seen him.

The unknown person was looking at the ground and his surroundings searching for something making Magnus frowned. Perhaps he was a thief. He looked at him taking something from his pocket and the light of his phone screen illuminated his face rather juvenile, making Magnus' frown deepened. He had never seen him. And he didn't look like a thief obviously or maybe he was one but he didn't really care.

''Who are you?'' he asked and Chairman Meow began to purr like a motor in his arms.

The young man looked up at him and stared at him for a moment, slightly taken aback, before moving closer.

Magnus was now able to see a little more clearly who the intruder was and his face told him absolutely nothing. He seemed to be a student who got dressed with the first things he had found. His dark hair were disheveled and he couldn't really see his face if not a well tongue-traceable jawline and regular features. They were also almost as tall as each other, except Magnus who dominated him with few centimeters.

"Sorry, the door was open. I’m here to get Izzy and Jace Lightwood," said his solemn voice in a shy tone.

Magnus stroked his cat, making his rings jingling against each other, and wondered why and who he was to pick Jace and Izzy. He didn't look like someone that those two could hang out with.

Magnus stared at him trying to distinguish his face in more details.

“Do you know who they are?” asked uncertainly the unknown person.

Magnus snorted. “I perfectly know who they are as I always know who’s partied at my parties !” he said in an obvious tone.

“So you're Magnus Bane?” the young man said in astonishment.

Magnus couldn't help smiling. ''The man himself. So who are you? You didn't answer me earlier.''

The young man didn't answer immediately, as if he was reluctant to reveal his identity. ''I'm Izzy and Jace's big brother,'' he answered simply.

Magnus didn't hide his surprise, his eyebrows rose as his gaze became more insistent. So, the big brother came to bring back his siblings. He could no longer contain his mocking grin.

“They passed out in the bathroom with the others,'' he muttered pensively.

“Oh, so there are still people here?”

Magnus' smile slightly faded, of course there were still people here.

“I mean with this mess, the silence and everything… I thought that there was nobody left when I got here.''

''It's just they're no longer conscious and the party is over! It means my party was a great success,'' Magnus told him with a light tone. “Except-” he hissed coldly, “-the part where they destroy everything.''

It was not planned of course but he didn't really care actually. It would be a pretext to redecorate. The young man was still looking at him and then turned his head, wondering where he had go to find his siblings.

''Over there,'' Magnus pointed out.

And he followed him, curious to see his reaction at the sight of his siblings.

He didn't react much, as if he was used to it but Magnus was finally able to see what looked like Izzy and Jace's big brother. Dark-haired, pale, wide-shouldered, thin and not dark eyes as he thought but blue ones.

He looked nothing like his siblings. He didn't have anything special, nothing in him attracted the eye or the attention. He looked boring and seemed to have nothing in common with them, if not the same color hair as his sister. But he only saw him at three-quarters, he couldn't really observe him as he would have liked.

Magnus saw him analyze the inglorious situation in which were his siblings and realized that he still didn't know his name.

''By the way, what's your name?'' he asked by casually leaning against the doorway and casting a disapproving look towards the people passed out on his floor.

''Alec.''

''For Alexander?''

''Just Alec,'' the big brother hastened to say with a wince.

Magnus couldn't help smiling. ''How about a cup of coffee Alexander? Until they're a little better?''

The latter's wince deepened and Magnus felt a sick pleasure. He felt a little better now that he had someone to talk who wasn't drunk or stoned, or even both.

The big brother narrowed his eyes but finally accepted.

Magnus noted with amusement how Alexander was different from his siblings and found himself fascinated in spite of him. He hadn't the same confidence, or this confident look that had his siblings as if the world belonged to them, he looked more humble. But something struck him more.

Alec had a rather handsome face, hidden behind his hair and his unconfidence -which absolutely covered up everything- and he might be tall, he made himself tiny as if he was afraid to hinder. He seemed calm, staid but didn't seem to dare to do anything to annoy and bother somebody else. Nothing to do with Jace and Izzy, Magnus even wondered if they had had the same parents and the same education.

Waiting for Izzy and Jace to recover enough, they drank their coffee and talked a bit, especially Magnus who had to pull it out from him as he wasn't very talkative, and Alec even helped him to put back some furniture that had been overturned.

He was nice, nice enough to help him even though he wasn't at the party. Magnus found himself smiling as if Chairman Meow had realized a feat.

“So, you're saying it's your fault that they're in this state?” he asked.

''Not exactly, but usually if I'm here it goes better,'' Alec confessed, picking a feathers of a ripped cushion.

''And why were you not here, Alexander?'' Magnus asked with amusement insisting on the _Alexander._

He hadn't invited him and didn't know if he would have if he had learned his existence earlier but he wouldn't have minded his presence at all here, at his party.

''I don't like parties that much,'' Alec confessed.

Magnus wasn't surprised and wondered if he was invited usually.

''That's because you've never been to one of my parties,'' he claimed proudly.

The latter raised a skeptical eye at him and his blue eyes narrowed. He looked puzzled as if he was wondering if he was mocking him, and maybe he was. They stared at each other and before Alec could say something, a shadow jumped on his back, startling Magnus whereas Alec turned over with a frown.

''Alec I'm cold, let's go back,'' Izzy whined, shivering and struggling against sleep.

It was only her. Magnus breathed out, yawned and looked for Chairman Meow.

''Don't you have a jacket or something?'' he heard him asking.

''She doesn't but she had a bag,'' Magnus said, perfectly remembering her bag, as it was quite pretty, and went to look around for it.

Humming, he found Chairman Meow but not the bag where it was supposed to be. Eventually, he found it in the kitchen sink and didn't even wonder how it had ended there, then he went to join them in the living room, rubbing his temples, the bag on his shoulder, and eager to go to bed.

He raised his eyebrows, surprised by what he saw: Alec trying to take off his sweater, revealing a white and flat belly which he stared at with a particular attention, when Izzy spoiled everything while laying her hands on her brother's belly with a giggle. Then, she pulled on his sweater and climbed on his back.

Alec looked up at him, finally noticing his presence, and looked embarrassed.

 _A little more and he would even apologized to breathe the same air,_ sighed inwardly Magnus.

''We're going home,'' Alec grumbled to his sister.

''What about Jace ?'' Magnus asked, falsely worried and handing him the bag.

''He'll follow, he's like a sheep, he doesn't ask questions and just follows when he drank too much,'' Alec explained.

Magnus' eyes shone with a mischievous sparkle. ''You’re so used to it…it makes you a great shepherd.''

So he was the responsible one as expected from a big brother, Magnus couldn't help thinking how much it was or it must have been hard for him sometimes with siblings as his.

''Yeah kind of, I'm more specialized in herding drunken Jace and Izzy.''

Magnus chuckled, and the _sheep_ appeared, haggard and not knowing where he was, but still managed to point a finger at Alec.

''I wanted to get on your back!'' Jace shouted, approaching with unsteady steps.

''Izzy was first.''

''Next time,'' smirked Magnus who felt highly amused by them.

They seemed to be in good terms which surprised him a little with their differences.

Jace frowned, clearly not happy and grabbed at Alec, ready to make Izzy fall from her perch. ''I always knew it was her, she’s the favorite one,'' he claimed unhappily.

Magnus' smile widened, he had never seen Jace, the cool and troublesome Jace, acting spoiled. Who would have believed that ?

''It's because I'm adopted!'' Jace continued, causing Alec to roll his eyes and force him to meet his gaze.

That could explain the absence of any similarity between them. Jace was blond with golden eyes and was the gold personified with his appearance unlike Alec, darkest, who was more like silver. The stare of Magnus ceased to walk on the two young men to focus entirely on Alec. He seemed very patient, something that was terribly lacking in Magnus.

''She was first,'' Alec explained in a quiet voice. ''Besides, you still have more balance than her.''

''Right!'' Jace agreed quickly, seeming pleased.

''That's because you don't wear high heels,'' muttered Magnus while looking at Izzy's shoes.

Alec gave him an amused look and started his approach to the door. ''We're going now. Thank you and…sorry,'' he apologized awkwardly.

 _Thank you and sorry for what ?_   wanted to ask Magnus when no one ever thank him or apologize for anything. He only snorted and accompanied them to the front door, stealing a glance at Alec who was still carrying his sister on his back.

Now, Magnus could see a resemblance. They had the same nose, the same eyes shape and the same cheekbones.

''You'll be fine?'' he asked, looking casually at his nails.

''Yeah I'm used to it.''

Magnus smiled and grabbed Alec's arm before he could leave.

''Feel free to accompany them next time since you can tame them so well. But-'', Magnus added with a glittery wink, ''-you can come for some fun too if you like.''

Alec seemed surprised and didn't answer right away, throwing a skeptical look at him over his shoulder before he shrugged. The move caused Izzy to tighten her grip around his neck and whispered something inaudible against his neck.

''See you next time Alexander,'' Magnus snorted insisting on the _Alexander_ and he hastened to close the door as they got to the stairs.

His smile slowly disappeared when he went into his room and didn't reappear until he had his cat in his arms.

 _What a pity,_ he thought, thinking back at the Lightwoods eldest son. He had a pleasing appearance and yet...

''Unconfidence is ugly,'' he whispered against his cat's fur, wondering with curiosity if Alexander Lightwood would come at his next party.

*

''I'm surprised that your kitchen's still standing,'' said with astonishment Catarina.

Magnus grunted and handed her a cup of tea which she took with a smile.

The last partiers went out early this morning while Magnus was asleep and he had been awaken at the sound of the slamming door.

''You're too reckless,'' she reproached him, looking with a frown at the round doorknob in the paws of Chairman Meow.

Magnus hummed and his eyes unfocused on his steaming cup.

''Magnus?''

''Hmm?''

''You're okay ?''

''Hmm.''

Catarina sighed an took a sip of her tea. ''I'll be busy this week and a lot so I can't go out with you, ask Ragnor or go by yourself.''

''Hmm.''

''Magnus.''

''I'm listening,'' he said with a blink.

''Go back to bed,'' she sighed before standing up. ''I have to go,'' she murmured with a soft smile for Chairman Meow.

''Hmm.''

She rolled her eyes and went out while Magnus went back to bed, noting in a corner of his head that he would better call a cleaning crew, ans the faster the better.

*

Magnus felt good with his new decoration. He had taken the opportunity to do some work and to completely change the inside. He returned home, his cat under his arm, to the delight of Ragnor who didn't hide his relief that he was leaving. He smiled too happily for someone who had hosted a friend for a few weeks.

''You'll miss me,'' Magnus said with a smirk.

''No,'' grumbled Ragnor.

''I'll organize a party in the honor of revival this weekend, you're coming?''

Ragnor stared at him. ''We'll see, now go away.''

And Magnus went away and straight home with relief. He could finally watch what he wanted on TV, eat all the popcorn he wanted without being afraid of dirtying anything and to do whatever he wanted. Like organizing a party and not any party, the party of the year in his fully renovated apartment.

He took his time to organize it, more by laziness than to make his regular guests impatient. He sent the usual messages and waited for their answers that came almost immediately.

It was only once in his couch that Magnus realized he didn't say to Izzy to bring her two brothers. He knew that Jace would come automatically but he seriously doubted that the big brother would come... Magnus shrugged. Whether he would come or not didn't really matter, after all. He didn't have to play the nanny all the time and every single time his siblings went out. Besides, it was a little weird to be so protective of them.

 

Magnus brightly smiled at his guests that swept like a wave in his apartment. Nobody seemed to have noticed the new decoration, apart Catarina and Ragnor who were staring at the big and beautiful baroque chandelier with bewilderment. They made no comment and Magnus gave them a condescending look which Catarina answered with narrowed eyes.

''I thought you were joking,'' she said.

''Me too,'' Ragnor added with amusement. ''I'll get drinks.''

''Do so,'' Magnus said. ''I'll come back, my people are waiting for me.''

''Go see your people,'' said Catarina with a roll of her eyes.

With a dazzling smile, Magnus went here and there to greet his guests and wishing them a good evening. Then, he noticed that Jace and Izzy were here, as expected, but no trace of the big brother. Very discreetly, Magnus looked for the eldest Lightwoods at the corner of his eyes and turned slowly on himself.

He wasn't there obviously.

Rare were those who didn't come despite an invitation and Alec was one of these people. Magnus wasn't disappointed but more upset and not really surprised. He should have expected it.

 _Never mind_ , he thought while greeting a pretty blonde girl who slid an arm around his waist.

He remained in her charming company for fifteen minutes and went to refill his glass before joining Ragnor and Catarina who were talking with a few people.

His gaze mechanically scanned the crowd and stopped when he noticed a tall, dark-haired and pale person.

Alexander Lightwood was there.

Magnus stared at him and looked up at his chandelier when he saw that he was gazing at it in disbelief, then he focused on the different furniture. His face was impassive, expressionless, only his eyes were lively and had a curious gleam.

Their eyes met and Magnus approached him with a glass in hand.

''You came,'' he only said before handing him it.

Alec stared at the glass as if he hesitated to take it and finally grabbed it, thanking him with a smile as fleeting as an eyelash flutter. Then, he threw another look at the chandelier.

''Do you like it?'' Magnus asked with a smirk.

Obviously Alec didn't and the latter seemed to hesitate to answer sincerely.

''It goes with the rest.''

Magnus frowned and stared at his furniture, the eldest Lightwoods took this opportunity to disappear from his sight, making Magnus' frown deepen when he saw that he was no longer in front of him.

Throughout the evening, Magnus searched for Alec with his eyes just to make sure he was still there but he didn't find him.

 _Either he's the king of hide-and-seek, either a shadow or he's a ninja,_ he thought with a displeasure. And he tried to think of something else because if Alec wanted to escape from his view, Magnus would give him that pleasure.

He almost let out a cry of joy when he finally spotted him against the wall talking with his sister who was apparently trying to force him to drink a glass or two. He watched them a moment, scanning the reactions of each others and smiled when Izzy decided to drink the glasses she had taken for her brother. Then, she left and Magnus could leisurely notice how Alec didn't enjoy at all the party, far from it.

He remained in his corner, against the wall, watching the others, and from time to time, looked at his watch clearly wondering when this ordeal would take an end. Magnus sincerely began to think that he was a little too serious for his own good and a little boring if he couldn't have fun and couldn't enjoy anything.

Nothing forced him to come if he didn't want to after all, let alone his siblings who seemed to behave this once.

From the corner of the eye, Magnus continued to observe him as if he was watching out the moment when he would see a spark of amusement in his eyes or a smile on that impassive face. He found out that his lack of confidence in him, which he had already noticed before, and this desire to make himself small was way more pronounced than he had first thought.

Whenever someone approached him or came closer, he clung more into the wall as if he was hoping to disappear and to become one with it. Besides, he was hiding in the darkest places, like a shadow in the shadows, watching over his siblings.

Magnus' eyes converged immediately toward the said siblings and marveled once again at the sight of their differences. It was understanding for Jace but for Izzy and him... Magnus genuinely wondered what went wrong and felt a deep sense of waste that annoyed him.

 

All in all, Alec wasn't so hard to find in his hiding place that wasn't really one, stuck against a wall and into the darkest corner, and Magnus learned to notice him. He didn't always find him on the first try and it took him time sometimes but he eventually managed to find him.

It was a hide-and-seek game where Magnus was the only player aware of the game which was afoot.

''What are you looking at?'' asked Catarina taking the glass he was holding.

Magnus shrugged and sighed when he saw that Alec had changed his hideout. He would eventually find him, as always.

''My guests having fun,'' he simply answered whereas he was looking at the only person who, as usual, didn't have fun at all, a few seconds ago.

Catarina was jostled by a little too enthusiastic boy who jumped on his group of friends and darted on the ill-bred an annoyed look.

''So?'' she asked.

''So what?'' he also asked before sipping his drink.

''Ragnor said you were in a relationship,'' she said while staring at him. ''You didn't tell me so I was wondering if...''

Magnus snorted and cut her off. ''Because I'm not in a relationship. You'd already know if it was the case and tell Ragnor that it's not because I fondle someone that I'm dating this someone.''

Catarina kept silence and looked at him longer than necessary.

''Great party as always,'' said Izzy cheerfully before giving him a big pat on the back.

Magnus looked down at her smiling face, obviously she had been drinking and not only one glass.

''Obviously,'' he answered with a knowing smile. ''Where's Jace?'' he politely asked.

With a frown, she turned around and narrowed her eyes, seeking her brother.

''He's with Alec,'' she said.

Magnus followed her gaze whereas Catarina asked who was Alec.

''Their big brother,'' Magnus replied whereas Izzy went to bring them in their circle.

Catarina narrowed her eyes as to see better and smiled. ''They look alike,'' she stated.

Magnus shrugged. ''Yes but Jace is adopted.''

She raised her eyebrows. ''Really? How do you know that?''

''It seems pretty obvious and I heard him say it the other day.''

She looked at them and took a sip at her drink. ''Hi, I'm Catarina,'' she introduced herself when the three Lightwoods came closer.

''I already know who you are,'' said Jace with a smirk, which earned him a skeptical look from his elder brother and a giggle from his sister.

Magnus saw him noted the drunkenness of the latter with dismay and Catarina studied him with curiosity. They could see more than clearly how much he felt uneasy and wanted to go away from them when more people entered the circle to socialize.

But Izzy held him back by the arm and whispered something that made him stay. The young man became sullen and when he looked up and before their eyes could met, Magnus averted his eyes.

They didn't speak and didn't look at each other even if Magnus could feel his presence more than he should have. Furthermore, he was too busy joking about something Jace had said. He did his very best  to not focus on him and Alec managed to go without being seen by any of them, with the discretion that characterized him.

''Where he is?'' asked Jace while looking around.

''They're very different,'' whispered Catarina in his ear.

Magnus nodded.

''And he doesn't seem to like your parties that much.''

''He doesn't, he only comes for his siblings,'' he bitterly murmured.

Catarina chuckled and finished her drink before looking for another one. Magnus frowned and followed her, glaring at Alec stuck against his wall who didn't even bother to pretend to like anything.

*

The game _spotting Alec_ or hide-and-seek ended when Magnus automatically found him in the crowd, as if he knew instinctively where he was.

He looked lost in his thoughts and wasn't paying attention, as always, at what was surrounding him. He was there without being there. Alec was a mystery and Magnus had trouble to deal with mysteries.

The latter saw him refusing a drink from Jace and didn't really remember having seen him with a single glass of alcohol in his hands. He didn't drink, if not water and not often.

Magnus then decided to add lemonade and orange juice on the drinks table and could't contain a smile when he saw his target with a glass of juice in hand, then hide in the shadows as usual with an impassive face.

His amused smile disappeared immediately when Ragnor and Catarina stared at him and their eyes immediately converged on Alec.

He had to do a diversion from what obsessed him in a weird way for some time and he spoke about the case of this company that he had to study for the next week, complaining about the analyzes he had to do and the time it would take him.

He didn't really know why his eyes were always seeking for him among the others. He couldn't help it.

It often happened that their eyes met, and that Alec, feeling observed, looked up at him, to look down immediately as if he didn't want to see that he was observed.

After a while, Magnus decided to go talk to him and despite his confident walk, he wasn't. He was scared to annoy him as he seemed perfectly fine on his own. Besides, what they could talk about ? Would Alec respond ? He wasn't very talkative and even less with him.

''Do you have fun?'' he asked with a bright smile, leaning next to him against the wall.

And he swore inwardly, obviously not. Cursing at himself, he rolled his eyes and his eye fell on the people dancing. He then realized that from where they were, they could see absolutely everything. He looked again at Alec and finally wondered if he had fun while observing people. Magnus would and had fun looking at them.

He could have considered staying by his side throughout the evening if Alec's discomfort hadn't been so contagious. He was uneasy in his presence and Magnus began to feel the same, he was eager to rejoin Catarina who was looking at Ragnor talking to a beautiful young woman.

He looked back at the eldest Lightwoods and didn't know why his stare focused on his jawline and his lips, then he looked away with a frown, thinking back to the white belly he had seen a few months ago.

''Everyone seems to have fun,'' finally answered Alec, choosing to play safe.

Magnus' lips curved into a smile and Alec frowned slightly in front of this smile Magnus didn't know was mocking.

''How old are you?'' finally asked casually the latter.

''Twenty-one.''

They were five years apart then.

''I think someone is looking for you,'' Alec suddenly said and Magnus felt slightly hurt when he saw his relieved expression.

Himself felt a little relieved and hastened to join his friends after seeing him sneak like a shadow between the dancers and those who were drinking.

This approach attempt was a failure.

But Magnus wouldn't give up, he was intrigued -by what, he didn't know yet- and would stop once his curiosity satisfied.

*

Because of his strange growing interest in the eldest Lightwoods, Magnus became slightly more interested in his siblings. But he didn't really had the choice if he wanted to get some information on Alec. He didn't dare to approach him anymore since his last attempts were far from being conclusive and were awkward for both of them.

Izzy gave him a surprised look when he asked a banality about her family, surprising even Jace by his sudden interest. Ragnor shook his head whereas Catarina whispered something in his ear before glancing at Alec pressed against his usual wall.

Ragnor then shrugged, while Magnus glared at them.

''Robert is the CEO of Idris,'' she said. ''And our mother is a housewife I suppose.''

Magnus blinked, he already had heard of Idris. ''Robert?''

''Robert is Robert,'' Jace smirked and his eye met Izzy's.

Look who didn't escape to Magnus, they didn't seem in good terms with the father.

''And what do you do both?'' he asked, continuing his examination.

''College,'' they said at the same time. ''And as you look curious we're nineteen,'' added Jace.

And they exchanged another look.

''Your brother is also in college I suppose?''

Izzy nodded.

''What does he study?'' he asked. ''And what about you?'' he hastened to add.

''Alec studies everything he needs to inherit Idris because that's what Robert wants,'' Jace smirked. ''And I'm in a business school, but I will change for a conservatory.''

So, he was the heir. No wonder he looked so serious and sullen, sometimes. Magnus thanked them with a smile whereas Izzy kept staring at him with almost the same look as her big brother when he was trying to talk to him.

''Why this sudden interest?''

Magnus kept smiling, earning from her a look more and more suspicious, but she didn't insist. This time, the Lightwoods went home earlier unlike usual and Magnus' eyes focused on Alec's back figure and especially on a certain part of his anatomy.

''Why this sudden interest?'' asked also Ragnor.

Magnus dodged the question with a hand gesture. ''I'm just curious.''

''And if you think that I don't know where you just put your eyes, you are heavily mistaken,'' said Catarina.

Magnus did his best to look innocent but it didn't work. ''How do you know where I was looking? It means you were also looking at his b...him,'' he abruptly said which made narrow Ragnor's eyes.

And even admitting that Magnus would be interested in Alec. It was not reciprocal, far from it.

The latter didn't care at all about him and Magnus decided to do the same, like the childish man he was.

His simple interest, fleeting as it was, was only curiosity that his difference with his siblings had aroused, not his appearance rather advantageous hidden by his lack of confidence and his posture, that betrayed his desire to make himself invisible.

 _I see you though,_ thought Magnus.

But this interest wasn't mutual.

Magnus couldn't help being drawn to him and there was no rational explanation. He wanted to know and learn more about him, contenting himself while looking at him. For the moment. And trying to learn a little more about him indirectly in order to not arouse suspicion wasn't easy.

But he learned something thanks to his observations.

Alexander was into boys, and into one boy in particular : his adoptive brother.

How many times had he seen him look at him? And with that gleam that Magnus knew so well ? He didn't count them anymore.

And honestly, Magnus didn't feel much in front of this discovery, just curiosity as if he had found something very interesting but somehow it made him happy and sad, he couldn't explain it. He couldn't explain things now, to tell the truth, as everything was confused.

Alec was looking at Jace with this something in his eyes, something that a foster brother wasn't supposed to have every time he put his eyes on a family member. Magnus couldn't deny Jace's beauty but still, it was too obvious. He preferred Alec's handsomeness which was more discreet, less obvious -revealed at every glances- and which was way more appealing for him.

Staring from one to the other, Magnus wondered for a moment if he happened to watch Alec in the same way that he was looking at Jace, then he looked away and went into the bathroom to freshen up.

*

After a hard day's work, Magnus curled up on his sofa and turned the TV on. His life was a succession of parties, work, sleep, again and again. He was tired and felt lonely, even though he was surrounded. There was a void inside him that parties, glitter and life couldn't fill sometimes.

He deeply sighed, looked at his nails and decided to change his nail polish under the piercing gaze of Chairman Meow who wanted to be cuddled.

He sent texts to random people he knew to find out what they were doing or if they had something planned. Catarina was the first one to answer with a magnificent:  _'I'm going to work, spend an evening doing nothing for once, it will do you some good.'_

He rolled his eyes and threw his phone on the coffee table before burying his face in a cushion, forgetting the makeup he had on, and threw a quick glance at his still not dry nail polish.

His tabby cat meowed and rubbed against him before Magnus finally decided to stroke him with his elbow.

They then watched an episode of a reality program -with Chairman Meow curled up on his lap- and he mechanically stroked him while taking a sip at his wine glass. He suddenly threw his head back, sank deeper into the couch and closed his yellow-green eyes that half-opened to stare at the ceiling.

Diverse and varied thoughts, and not necessarily happy ones, assailed his mind, holding his gaze on the chandelier which sparkled softly. It was time for introspection and the gear was on, he couldn't go against it.

He made a point of his life, from his childhood in the orphanage in Indonesia until his arrival here, his studies, his work, his social life, his love life, to finally wonder where he was going.

He didn't know.

He didn't want anything, had no motivation to do anything, and had no more goals since a long time, except to organize the best parties ever.

Maybe he needed someone, to feel loved in order to feel better and to fill the void that became a gaping hole inside him.

But he hadn't the strength nor the courage. It had been a long time since he hadn't had a real relationship since the fiasco that had been the last one, for fear of being hurt and for fear to invest a lot of efforts for a lost cause. Make efforts that wouldn't be awarded discouraged him and had prevented him many times to approach someone.

Someone like Alexander, for example.

He was drawn to him, he couldn't help it. Maybe because the young man didn't pretend to like something, like his parties which were not always amazing, to have fun when it wasn't fun and didn't force himself to drink in order to see the world in a better way.

Magnus envied him and smiled thinking of the fact that he only came for his siblings. Alec could only be a nice and good boy, maybe too good for him.

He then realized with a frown and slightly bewildered than he thought once more about him.

He straightened up and looked in a jaded way at his cat.

''No good _,_ '' he murmured while stroking him.

Chairman Meow seemed to agree and yawned.

*

Under the sharp eyes of the tabby cat in the sink of the bathroom, Magnus put on make-up and did his hair. He traced a golden line of eyeliner on the eyelids, spread a glittery blush on the cheeks, then took some lacquer -equally glittery- that he sprayed over his hair.

He cast a jaded eye at his reflection and sighed, there wasn't enough glitter.

He opened a drawer, grabbed a little pot, making move the tabby cat who stood up for a better look at what he was doing, and he sprinkled the golden content all over himself with a diva gesture. He had just forgotten the presence of Chairman Meow just below who sneezed.

The latter cat jumped and left without further ado.

''I'm sorry, don't be mad, you look fantastic,'' Magnus said with a grin.

He looked once again at the large mirror and wondered if his eyes didn't seem too yellow compared to usual. He was wondering if he should or should not remove his eye makeup when the doorbell rang.

The umpteenth party of the year would finally begin.

He watched with a small smile his apartment fill gradually, the alcohol disappear quickly and the atmosphere swell as people came in.

Magnus turned and saw Jace who gave him a big smile which he couldn't resist and smiled back. He immediately looked for his siblings, surprised not to have seen them and had to abandon his visual search when he was approached by people willing to talk.

''Hey Magnus, your party is amazing.''

''Thank you, you know where're the drinks.''

''And me your room,'' breathed out Catarina, breathless and clinging to his arm.

She had appeared out of nowhere and was dressed with an amazing simplicity compared to usual. Magnus gave her a surprised look, to what Catarina immediately responded with a bag under his nose.

''I need to change, that's why I need your room. And I have no intention of traumatizing Chairman Meow,'' she added with a big smile.

Magnus snorted. ''I thought you were working today. And I didn't manage to catch him, he's out somewhere, I just hope that nobody will stamp on him...,'' he anxiously said. ''And where's Ragnor?''

''Here,'' said the latter on his left. ''I thought you had seen me just now.''

''When?'' asked nonchalantly Magnus with a frown not remembering seeing him.

''Anyway, I need you room,'' said once again Catarina. ''And I'll put on some make-up.''

Ragnor and Magnus watched her locked herself in the room and stared at each other.

''There're more people than usual,'' commented his friend. ''And why the music is so loud?''

Magnus shrugged. ''Take it up with Jace and I like this music.''

Ragnor looked up and cast a glance at Jace before trying to find his sister. ''He came alone?''

 _I hope not,_ Magnus thought.

Catarina came back, changed and dolled up, with two glasses of wine. ''Here you go, there's almost nothing now.''

Ragnor smiled while Magnus was detailing her blue dress with a satisfied smile.

''So, did you do something the other day?'' she asked.

''No, I stayed home.''

''Was it so boring?''

''No but it could have been better,'' he answered while looking around.

There were many more people and it was difficult to see if it was Izzy who was coming out from the kitchen, sipping a yellow cocktail with a satisfied look, perched on her high heels. She glared at those who jostled her.

She smiled when she saw them and moved closer to greet them.

''There're a lot of people tonight,'' she marveled.

''A little too much,'' said Ragnor.

Magnus continued to look discreetly for Alec and didn't see Izzy's stare on him. She turned her straw in her drink while Magnus had to face the facts that he wasn't here.

''He'll be late,'' she nonchalantly said, looking up to met his eye.

_Busted._

Magnus did as if nothing was the matter and looked away while she licked her straw.

''Who's late?'' asked Catarina.

Izzy smirked. ''He knows whom I'm talking about.''

And she walked away, casually, without looking at Magnus who watched her with pinched lips. He preferred to play safe and also walked away in order  to not explain what she had implied.

Izzy was not far away, near the couch, and seemed to be waiting for him. She gave him a big smile as he approached with narrowed eyes.

''Look at this idiot,'' she said while looking at Jace howling with some friends.

''We're all stupid during parties.''

''He's always stupid,'' she stated with a fond smile.

Magnus gave her a sidelong glance. ''So...why?''

Izzy slowly turned his head toward him and for a moment, Magnus wondered if she wasn't going to do as if she hadn't understand whom he spoke about.

''Let's say that Jace partied a lot this week and in a club he drank too much and caused a lot of trouble,'' she paused, staring at it while Magnus wondered why she was talking about Jace and not Alec.

Seeing his growing impatience, she smiled in a teasing way. ''Alec went to get him at the police station, he had to do something in order to not make Robert aware of Jace's...misconduct,'' she said with a wince before sipping her drink. ''Yeah, so he stayed overnight there and this week was important for him with his exams.''

''And what did the father say?''

''Nothing, it means that Alec has covered it up,'' she snorted. ''And usually he is the messenger but he doesn't necessarily tell us everything Robert told him about us, so maybe he said something, maybe he knows, we don't know.''

Alec was indeed a good big brother.

''Did he pass his exams?''

Izzy shrugged. ''Given the head he had I would say yes, but he must be so tired that I doubt he'll come.''

''If it's the exams period that means you and Jace too had some, right?''

Izzy froze. ''Good point, but I have facilities so it was easy whereas for Jace...he wants to enter a conservatory so didn't take any exams and that's why he partied a lot I guess... I think Robert had to say something,'' she murmured for herself, staring at her foster brother with worry.

Magnus looked at his glass and took a deep breath. ''Maybe Alexander has someone and he went on a date tonight,'' he suggested, hopping to know if he had someone or not despite his goo-goo eyes for Jace.

Izzy blinked. ''Alexander?'' she asked, surprised. ''Only our parents call him this way,'' she said with a frown. ''And he has no one, I would know otherwise,'' she hastened to say.

Magnus immediately wanted to ask if he already had dated someone but this question was far too intrusive.

''Is he interested in someone?'' he abruptly asked.

This question was equally intrusive and cast doubts on his intentions.

They looked at the same time at Jace playing a drinking game with the glasses lined up on the table. Both of them looked at each other in one and same motion.

''Why?'' asked Izzy.

She looked puzzled and stared at him with suspicion, a little like her brother.

''I'm curious,'' he simply answered and he averted his eyes.

''He has no one,'' she said once again, a little too firmly, and Magnus knew that she was lying.

She surely knew, he was ready to bet on that.

''I'll see Jace,'' she declared, walking away.

''Good luck.''

And Magnus went to join a group of friends.  


Izzy didn't keep an eye on Jace for a long time, monopolized as she was to dance with a boy. Magnus then wondered why he was the one to look after them instead of enjoying the party.

He behaved like Alec, stuck against the wall at the entrance, a glass of juice in hand, eyes focused on the troublesome boy. He had to admit that from where he was, he was seeing things differently and started to enjoy it.

Anyway, there were too many people to be able to move as he wished.

Magnus seriously started to get bored and his glasses of alcohol didn't change anything, and people weren't very entertaining either, when suddenly he heard a noise in the entrance. He straightened up and leaned slightly on the right to see who had just came in or left.

He didn't expect to be so happy to see him and couldn't contain a huge grin

Alec had finally came, late, and with Chairman Meow in his arms that he was holding like a baby covered with glitter. He was dressed all in black, to Magnus damn who shook his head with a sorrowful air. It made his pale skin standing out in a disturbing way, like his dark circles that reflected a period of intensive exams with sleepless nights that accompanied them.

''I thought you wouldn't come Alexander,'' Magnus said cheerfully.

The latter raised his head and walked away from the door to approach him.

''Me too,'' he murmured.

''Hard week?''

''Can say that...''

Magnus smiled and stroked his cat's head. ''I was wondering where he was.''

''Outside, trying to take off all this glitter,'' Alec said handing him the tabby cat that Magnus hastened to take.

He must have took advantage of the incessant entry of people to go out, fortunately he hadn't gone far.

''Okay, I'll put him in my room...,'' he said before walking there. ''You didn't have to come, you know, you could have sleep.''

Alec blinked, trying to keep his eyes opened and followed him as Magnus had given him his glass earlier.

''I couldn't and Izzy said that Jace was drinking more than usual.''

''He's not really that different, he jumped on the table and kissed some girls but nothing unusual,'' Magnus said. ''He was in the kitchen with Catarina and Ragnor, and maybe your sister, the last time I saw him so don't worry,'' he added, mercilessly pushing those who stood in his way to go to his room.

Alec managed to sneak between people without touching them, like a shadow, and Magnus gave him an amused look.

''This is my room,'' he announced while opening the door and quickly put his cat on the ground before closing the door as fast as he could. ''I would have loved to invite you in to have fun but we'll have to put it off until another time.''

He brightly smiled at Alec who stared at him, dumbfounded. He didn't seem to get his flirting attempt.

 _Never mind,_ sighed inwardly Magnus.

''You do that often?'' asked suddenly Alec

Magnus looked at him, puzzled. Was he talking about Chairman Meow or his flirting attempt ?

''When he let me catch him, which you have done for me.''

''He didn't look that hard to catch.''

''It means that he likes you.''

Alec blinked, looked at the glass he had in his hands and held it out. ''I'll see the state Jace is in.''

Magnus politely smiled and followed him with the eye before cursing at himself and almost hit his head against the wall. Alec must had thought that he was making fun of him with his smiles and his flirting attempts, unless he couldn't really see where he was coming, which was quite possible...

They still managed to speak, not as much as when they had first met, but more than usual and Magnus felt like a first victory. On second thought, it was only when they were by themselves that both of them seemed a bit more comfortable to talk.

Eventually, he found him among all these people and was softened by his distraught look when he saw Jace undressing under some whistles and encouragements from people as drunk as he was. Magnus raised his eyebrows when he saw Izzy, who seemed as drank as him, beginning to imitate her foster brother.

Alec immediately rushed to neutralize them, pushing people gathered around, and Magnus came to lend a hand. He didn't bother to hide his amusement and met the jaded eyes of the eldest Lightwood busy to dress Jace back by putting his t-shirt on.

''I'm hot!'' yelped the latter.

But he let Alec do what he wanted with a small smile, while Izzy giggled trying to remove her dress. She frowned when she saw that she couldn't. She hadn't noticed the hands of Magnus on the hem of her dress.

''It's my dress,'' she stated angrily when she noticed his hands.

''He doesn't want your dress anyway,'' sighed Alec. ''We're going home you've drunk too much,'' he scowled.

Magnus' smile widened when Jace undressed once again under Alec's appalled gaze who stared at him with clenched teeth. And Magnus could admire his perfect jawline in a daze, letting go Izzy's dress who took the opportunity to remove it under the yells of men in heat.

''You're not kids anymore,'' sighed Alec exasperated before taking their hands and taking them into the kitchen, while Magnus picked up the clothes scattered on the floor before following them.

Obviously, they were used of being handled and Magnus couldn't help judging them. They were old enough to manage on their own and didn't need to be mothered.

He didn't intervene and watched those strange siblings with an amused smile.

Jace and Izzy were soon dressed again while Alec spoke softly to each of them, with so much patience that Magnus got annoyed. Anyone would have lost patience with them, except Alec of course.

Alec was nice, quiet and had an inhuman forbearance. It was getting on his nerves.

''You're going back?'' asked Magnus, seeing once again how Alec was looking at Jace.

He immediately looked away as if he had seen something he shouldn't have and began to want to be looked at in the same way.

The latter turned his head toward him. ''Yeah, I'll bring them back.''

''Good thing you came in the end.''

Alec didn't answer, looking so tired of his life that Magnus almost stepped forward.

''Come here,'' Alec said to his siblings.

He had to take them by the arm for them to follow him and they obediently followed him. And that was all, the Lightwoods left the party as if nothing had happened.

And the said party degenerated, thing initiated by Jace. Magnus cursed the sudden departure of Alec and his luster when it fell down.

All of them were troublesome, even if Alec was a different kind of trouble.

*

Over the parties that followed, of which the last one ended badly with Jace and Izzy's involvement, surprised no one. Magnus had to face facts: he had a crush on Alexander Lightwood, and it began to be incomprehensibly more than that, which made him perplexed. He hadn't wanted that, had sought nothing, hardly knew him, moreover the latter had a thing for his foster brother, and his sister and this blondie could be very troublesome when they got bored.

Not to mention that Alec had, in all honesty, nothing that attracted him to someone generally, if not his good looks.

His interest in him had turned into endless interrogations. _How to make him look at me ? How to make him notice me ? How to make him talk ?_

He tried to talk to him but it asked him more efforts, more efforts than usual and he didn't know where it would take him. He constantly had to show that he existed and it scared him to invest himself so much into something so uncertain and almost hopeless.

Or Magnus could see Alec as a challenge, a motivation in which he had to do his best in order to not regret later.

He knew that he had lost his mind when he began to desire him, wondering how it would be to kiss him and to leave marks on his neck... Magnus began to desire him, literally wanted him in his bed but he didn't know how to make himself desired by the troublesome Lightwood.

For now, he was just making Alec notice him and it wasn't easy as he wasn't used to be patient and this dogged toward someone.

Magnus took a quick look at his reflection in the window display of a bakery and strode to go back home as fast ad he could, a folder under his arm. At least, it was his intention, until being stopped after hearing his name. He turned on himself, wondering if he hadn't had an auditory hallucination.

He found himself in front of a red-haired woman and her spitting-image, carrying shopping bags as big as her. He couldn't suppress a smirk.

''You must be Clary? It's crazy how much you look alike as if you've been cloned!'' he marveled with a grin.

''It's Magnus Bane,'' introduced him Jocelyn to her daughter.

She seemed to know who he was and smiled politely, while doing her best not to look too insistently.

''Always equal to yourself,'' said Jocelyn with smile.

''You mean incredibly amazing?''

Her smile widened whereas Clary's eyes narrowed. ''We wanted to go in a restaurant, you can come with us or do you have something planned? It's been a long time since we saw each other.''

''Don't you have to continue your shopping trip?''

''We're done,'' grumbled Clary. ''Mom just needs canvases and new brushes and we can finally go home.''

''You too you need it, and you told me that you had no more sketchbooks,'' retorted her mother. ''Clary wants to be an illustrator, she joined the same art school as me when I was young,'' explained Jocelyn to Magnus who raised an eyebrow.

''Really ? You have to show me what your fingers can draw,'' he said with an encouraging grin. ''By the way, we're talking about talents and I'll need yours Jocelyn, I need a new paint.''

They had automatically started to walk toward the said restaurant and moved to the terrace where Clary literally collapsed on her chair and glared at her mother for making her carry all the bags.

''It'll do your arms,'' murmured Magnus with mischief.

Clary smiled whereas Jocelyn looked at him quizzically.

''I can paint you one but you can also go to my shop and choose what you like,'' she said with a shrug. ''I'm going to the bathroom.''

Magnus and Clary were then left alone, and seemed intimidating and not very comfortable.

''How's university life?'' he asked.

She shrugged. ''Not bad.''

''Do you go out a little?''

''A little.''

''Would you like to come to one of my parties this weekend ? You can bring friends or a boyfriend if you want.''

''A party ?''

''Yes a party, I'm throwing parties from time to time.''

''I don't have a boyfriend but I have a best friend.''

''He will do,'' Magnus said with a wide grin. ''Give me your number, I'll tell you where and when.''

She gave him her number and then Magnus thought about the simple and mere fact that he had just asked Jocelyn's daughter number so easily after just five minutes of conversation whereas in two years he still hadn't asked for Alec's one. He could have asked it to someone else, like Izzy or Jace, but it could have aroused suspicion concerning his interest in the said young man.

''Are you okay?'' asked Clary.

Magnus blinked. ''Yeah.''

Jocelyn came back and sat next to him. ''So, tell me what you're up to those days.''

Magnus smiled and did. Everything was much more simple with others, he began to hope that it would be the same in a very near future between him and the eldest Lightwoods.

*

Catarina and Ragnor were the first ones to arrive at his place and took the opportunity to make a clarification.

''It's been a long time since we've done something between us,'' said Catarina with a frown.

''Because you're working all the time?'' Magnus suggested with a mischievous smile.

''I agree you're throwing too much parties and for a long time already,'' added Ragnor.

Catarina's eyes widened. ''I didn't say that, well, not yet,'' she whispered while nudging him.

Ragnor winced. ''Well...now you know.''

Magnus frowned and stared at them. ''What do you mean by _too much parties_  ? I always organized this much !''

''No,'' Catarina simply said.

''And since when?'' he asked.

''We thought that it was because you were bored and that you wanted to have fun but it's not the case,'' declared Ragnor. ''You're busy and you don't have fun all the time so...''

''You've started to throw more parties since a certain person appeared,'' interrupted Catarina casting a piercing look at Magnus who stiffened.

She had noticed then.

''I don't understand what you mean,'' Magnus stated haughtily.

''Really ?'' snorted Ragnor.

''I'll open the door, it must be Clary and her best friend,'' Magnus added before moving away from them with relief.

''Our conversation is not over,'' mumbled Catarina with a frown.

Magnus vowed to do everything he could in order not to hear what they suspected and voiced what he didn't dare to admit to himself.

He opened the door and greeted the small group where Clary was with a glasses boy that he had never seen.

''Glad to see you ! So he's the best friend ?''

The best friend narrowed his eyes behind his glasses and stared at Magnus from head to toe. Clary nudged him.

''Hi, I'm Simon.''

And they shyly came in and looked at the furniture with astonishment.

''Consider yourself lucky, he had before such a huge chandelier,'' said Ragnor seeing the face the made in front of the unconventional decoration. ''Fortunately, Jace has accidentally destroyed,'' he added, greeting Clary. ''You're the spitting image of your mother.''

''I know,'' she said with a smile. ''This is Simon.''

Simon waved at him.

''Catarina,'' said Catarina glancing at Magnus who ignored her.

''I'll entertain the others, by the time everyone arrives,'' Magnus hastened to say but he wasn't fast enough to get away and heard them speak about him.

''He always wears this much of glitter?'' murmured Simon.

''More than last time,'' said Clary.

''He has always been like that,'' Cararina stated in an amused tone.

Magnus glanced quickly at his shoulders, finding that he didn't have enough glitter. Maybe he could make some accidentally fell on Clary's best friend. It could be fun.

He had not invited a lot of people and easily spotted the Lightwoods when they walked in. He stared at the two irresponsible ones and smiled when he saw Alec disappear among the guests. He was dressed all in black and seemed tired, like back then with his exams.

He was now working for his father, and didn't look more excited than usual. Magnus was looking at him and immediately looked away when Ragnor cleared his throat. Apart from him no one had noticed on who he had lay his eyes a little earlier, and the group in which he was, was happily talking.

''Captivated by someone?'' quietly and casually asked Ragnor.

''I was looking for Chairman Meow.''

''What happened in Peru ?'' asked a girl with eyes full of curiosity.

Those who already knew laughed, whereas Clary and her friend were looking at them as if they were trying to guess what was going on.

''Let's just say that when Magnus, Catarina and Ragnor are together shit happens,'' Jace summed up with a huge grin.

''When Magnus is alone too,'' murmured Catarina. ''He doesn't need us.''

There were some laughs, it was true that he didn't always have a responsible behavior and had proved it many times.

He told for the umpteenth time his stay there and luckily for him, Catarina and Ragnor helped him by placing some anecdotes here and there. He was surprised that the events and aberrant situations they had to live always made people laugh so much. He couldn't help but smile, thinking back to what they had experienced but still, telling again and again what had happened became tiresome.

He discreetly stared at Alec and saw that Chairman Meow was with him. It was decided. Magnus would finally ask for his phone number, trivial thing that seemed enormously complicated for him.

Everything became complicated with Alexander Lightwood, which greatly disturbed Magnus not used to complicated things.  


The latter was among them tonight but only in appearance. He was lost in his thoughts and stared at an imaginary point over Catarina's shoulder. He didn't react to anything except the train of his thoughts that made him furrowed his eyebrows from time to time.

He didn't laugh at the joke that someone had just said and almost jumped when Izzy gave him a nudge.

''Pretend to understand and laugh,'' she whispered to him.

''Or to listen,'' Magnus said smiling, a glint of amusement in the eyes.

Alec seemed pretty embarrassed to attract their attention and slightly tensed up while Magnus continued discreetly to stare at his profile.

''I think Chairman Meow escaped,'' said suddenly Ragnor.

The owner perfectly knew it but gasped, as his friend had startled him. Judging having given enough freedom to the tabby cat for the evening, Magnus ordered people to buzz off to find him. Not surprised, he had time to see Alec escape into the kitchen.

Later, after having caught Chairman Meow before he had time to clear off again, Magnus looked discreetly at Alec who was with Clary and her best friend. He was smiling and laughing. Magnus stared at him almost disturbed by what he saw. And he actually was.

Until now, he had only seen some little smiles, awkward smiles, embarrassed smiles but not shy smiles or genuine smiles or even a laugh on Alec's lips. Still, it was discreet, slightly hid by his posture but it suited him. Magnus wanted to see more.

And Chairman Meow escaped from his arms.  


When he went to the kitchen for an attempt approach, he saw Alec smile at the tabby cat drinking from the tap.

''Alexander, here you are and you're smiling !'' he said maybe with too much enthusiasm.“And here is Chairman Meow,” he added.

He stroked his cat's head, grinned and sat next to Alec on a stool. The latter was drinking water, only water. Magnus wondered if had forgotten to add the juice or the lemonade, maybe he had.

“The party's over?” inquired Alec.

“You wish !” smirked Magnus.

Maybe he was surprised that he isolated himself while the party was in full swing.

“So, why are you here?”

Magnus grinned. ''Always so blunt ! Well, I wondered where my cat was and then I saw you were no longer here so I went to check !''

It was better than _'I followed you as I'm interested in you.'_

Alec nodded, put away his phone, and when looked up. Magnus was staring at him, noticing his eye-bags and how pale he was because of his tiredness.

“You seem tired Alexander,” muttered Magnus, gently touching his cheek.

He had acted naturally and almost froze at the same time that Alec with this unexpected gesture.

“Work?” asked simply Magnus, watching Chairman Meow purred on Alec's lap.

“Yes.”

“You met Clary earlier.”

“And Simon.”

Magnus frowned, so it was her best friend's name. He didn't remember.

“Clary's best friend,” helped Alec.

“The nerdy guy?” he said in an amused tone.

Alec nodded. “They're funny.”

“I could tell, they made you laugh!” Magnus said incredulously and with raised eyebrows.

He still couldn't believe it and it made Alec frowned.

''Because _they_ are funny,'' he said in a light tone and with a shy smile as an attempt to justify himself.

Magnus stared at his shy smile more lenghtly than necessary. ''How come...they've unlocked something in you? How did they do that? I have to thank them!''

And he left, leaving behind him a surprised Alec and Chairman Meow.

He seriously thanked Clary and Simon. ''I'll never thank you enough to have brought out all his smiles because I would have never seen his smiling face otherwise!''

''You're welcome ?'' said Simon. ''It's my job to make people laugh.''

Clary, Catarina and Ragnor were looking at him as if he had lost his mind. Actually he had, over Alec.

''Who laughed ?'' asked Izzy with a frown.

''Alec,'' said Ragnor.

She turned to him with a jaded look. ''So he laughed, and ?''

''He doesn't laugh that often ?'' asked Simon.

''Of course he does, as anybody else! He's just a little more serious that's all,'' she blurted out in a defensive tone before staring at Magnus. ''It looks like it disturbed you,'' she stated.

Magnus narrowed his eyes when he saw her smirk. She too had noticed his interest for her brother... He walked away casually and saw the object of his desires looking at his phone. It reminded him his mission he had set earlier: to get his phone number.

He walked nonchalantly, his heart madly pounding. _I can do it_ , he pondered to himself.

Alec frowned while looking at his phone screen and was clearly ready to leave, already. Magnus had to be fast.

''It's too early for you to leave,'' he claimed while taking his phone away.

This gesture could have offended anyone, including Alec, who didn't seem to take offense. He didn't dare surely. Magnus took a quick glance at the screen, it was 6:00 am, already.

''I have to work early.''

Magnus gave him an amused look, he also had to work early actually. He fiddled the phone for a while and tapped on the screen, recording his phone number and trying to discreetly store his, as he didn't dare to ask.

''What are you doing ?'' asked Alec.

''You didn't have my number and now you do !'' he casually answered after noticing that he didn't have a lot of phone number in his phone.

He gave him back the phone and walked away, his phone number in mind. He had to hurry to write it somewhere as he didn't know where his own phone was. He repeated the precious number several times in his head while searching for his phone everywhere in the apartment.

''Looking for something?'' asked a handsome man.

Magnus who was searching for it behind the cushions of his couch, looked up and narrowed his eyes when he realized that Alec's phone number was simply gone and no longer in his mind. It had flown in blink of an eye. The person wasn't involved but it didn't prevent Magnus to glare at him and to swear.

 _Fuck,_ he thought cursing at himself.

There was no real way. Knowing his dear Alexander, the latter would never going to call or contact him first. Magnus began to regret not having had the guts and the audacity to ask for his number in the first place, just a number. He had asked it hundreds of times to varying and diverse people. And yet, he didn't dare.

His eyes fell on Izzy. He could ask her, casually, and that would be it. Magnus realized then that the eldest Lightwoods was leaving and he went after him to say goodbye.

He had time to hear the story of Clary in the subway when Alec had pulled her out from a particularly annoying guy's clutches and couldn't restrain a genuine smile when he walked next to them. Alec was really a fine man.

''Bye Alexander, see you next time?'' he said after reaching the entrance. ''I'll take care of your siblings, and if something happens it's them not me,'' he said in a mischievous tone.

Alec tired as he was, blinked as to help him understand what he had just said and nodded.

When he got inside the elevator and the doors closed, Magnus' body moved faster than his brain and his hands blocked the doors. They stared at each other for a moment, one with amusement the other with skepticism. _He must thinks that I'm weird,_ he pondered to himself.

''Now that you have learned to laugh, you're asked to do it more often. Got it, Alexander?''

 _Alexander, Alexander, Alexander._ Magnus loved to say it. He wanted to make him used to his full name in his mouth and said it as soon as he had the opportunity, to differentiate himself from the others who all called him Alec. The latter narrowed his eyes, trying to guess if Magnus was serious or not.

''I'll be late,'' was his only answer.

Magnus sighed still smiling. Each time, he made a step forward Alec did ten back steps. No wonder, he hadn't told his interest in the young man to anyone.

''Have a nice day, Alexander!''

And the doors closed, Magnus rushed back inside to ask for his number to his sister who easily gave him thanks to alcohol.

*

Magnus looked again at Alec's phone number stored on his phone, he still hadn't dared to call him and drove himself to despair with his unusual behavior.

''Look, he's lovesick and hides everything from his friends who are willing to listen to him chattering,'' said Ragnor to Catarina, pointing his fork at him.

Magnus looked up and saw that he was observed. ''What ?''

Catarina rolled his eyes and went to get the salt in her kitchen.

''It's been a while since we've been together, the three of us,'' she said before sprinkling salt on her dish. ''Want some ?''

Ragnor and Magnus shook their heads.

''So...,'' she began to say throwing a glance at Magnus who stopped chewing. ''What's going on between you and Alec ?''

''You're always staring at him, you're obvious,'' Ragnor hastened to add before he could protest.

''Since when I'm not allowed to watch people?''

''Do you like him?'' asked Ragnor.

''Is it one-sided?'' asked Catarina.

Magnus' eyes widened when he winced when he heard the words he didn't want to hear. He wasn't ready to hear them.

''No,'' he said. ''It's just...I found him interesting and quite handsome and...''

Catarina narrowed her eyes while Ragnor took a sip from his wine glass, his eyes focused on him.

''What's going on ?'' she asked again. ''Usually you rush headlong and there...you're doing nothing.''

''He's straight,'' realized suddenly Ragnor.

''No.''

Catarina seemed relieved. ''Good, so what are you waiting for ? You're clearly into him and...''

Magnus knew he was into him and she was right, usually he would go for it. The fact was that he was scared of the feelings he began to feel too fast and too intensely and which continued to grow stronger and stronger. His last serious relationship had ended badly and he had needed a long time to recover.

''I don't know how to behave with him,'' he admitted with a frown. ''And he's into someone else.''

Ragnor frowned. ''He's with someone ?''

''No.''

''Ask him on a date and if he doesn't want to or if it doesn't work, move on,'' he said with a shrug.

But Magnus didn't want to be rejected and even less move on.

Catarina was staring at him, looking puzzled. ''Magnus, just be yourself. What are you scared of ? Usually you go for it and when it doesn't work you move on, are you scared that he would reject you?''

Magnus didn't answer.

''Go for it,'' she said. ''You have noting to lose even if you're really into him. Just be yourself, stop being so weird.''

''I'm not weird.''

''He's not weird, he's just lovesick,'' Ragnor said with a smile.

Catarina smiled and raised her glass to her lips. ''This is the first time I see you like that with someone, so shy and nervous, I didn't think that Alec could do so much damage to someone.''

Ragnor snorted. ''Maybe it'll be different with him,'' he simply said.

Magnus stared at them. They were right, he just had to be himself and to go for it.  


Lying in bed, with Chairman Meow nestled in his lap, Magnus was staring at his _Darling'_ s phone number. He was going to be equal to himself, call and offer him to go out.

He put his phone to his ear with such nervousness that he found himself pitiful. It had been a long time since he had not felt this and he wondered if he had ever been so nervous in a relationship or even before a relationship could begin.

''Hello ? Who's this ?'' said Alec, picking up.

Magnus blinked. He didn't expect this.

''You didn't keep my number ?'' he asked, surprised and straightening up on his couch.

''Hi !'' dodged awkwardly Alec.

Magnus chuckled. ''Hi Alexander, it's been a long time ! You should have called.''

_Be yourself, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself..._

''How did you get my number?''

 _Thanks to your lovely little sister,_ wanted to say Magnus but he dodged the question with a laugh.

''Are you free tonight dear Alexander?''

His voice was calm, deep and steady despite the frantic beating of his heart.

''Why ?'' he asked suspiciously.

Right, Alec was blind toward his approach attempts.

''Because I'm inviting you.''

''No, I can't. Sorry.''

He wouldn't be so easy to obtain either.

''Oh,'' said Magnus, disappointed. ''What a pity ! Then, tomorrow?''

Alec seemed to think about it and Magnus could already guess his answer.

''Either.''

Magnus sighed, he had been right.

''Are Izzy and Jace coming ?'' asked Alec.

''Does it change anything if they're coming or...? Wait ! Are you telling me that you won't come if they don’t ?'' he realized.

Magnus had stood, stunned, and earned the annoyed look of Chairman Meow that he had dropped. He already knew that he was only coming at his parties for his siblings but he didn't expect that it would apply to everything.

''Well...yes?''

Or he didn't see why he would invite him out of nowhere... Magnus uttered something that curiously sounded like an angry cat.

''I'm inviting you, Alexander, you ! So ?''

''Sorry Magnus, I really can't.''

Magnus sighed. ''How come a young man like you is that busy? In that case, tell me when you're free.''

But he seriously doubted that he would, feeling already discouraged by the expectations he had and reality.

''Is that call so important for you to ruin the meal Alexander ?'' heard Magnus over the phone and he frowned.

Was it the father ? He didn't sound nice at all.

''I'm important,'' said Magnus. ''It's your father?''

''Yeah, sorry I have to go.''

''Got it, don't forget to text me when you're available,'' he said before hanging up.

Even if Magnus had the impression of not having advanced or that nothing had changed, he couldn't help smiling while looking at his phone. He now could feel that Alec was much more accessible somehow and this new perspective gave him hope.

Overnight, he thought of a way to attract Alec in his nets. A date would scare him and Magnus didn't want to make him run away. A dinner between friends, where there wouldn't have many people but only familiar faces, including his siblings, sounded like the best solution.

The next day, Magnus contacted him, full of hope and already feeling disappointment at the thought that he could refuse.

**The Glittery One**

_Dear Alexander, after a careful reflection, I decided to organize an amazing dinner where you are invited. Of course, Izzy and Jace are invited ! And if I recall our conversation, you're coming, right ? I expect a reply quickly or I'll harass you. I'm waiting for you and your message saying yes !_

Rereading the text he had sent, he wondered if he didn't sound too enthusiastic, excited or too extreme with his _'I'll harass you'_... But Darling replied quickly, more quickly than he had expected with a _when ?_ His theory that he had to seek Alec who holed up was beginning to be more than true and Magnus regretted not having done it before. He replied immediately.

**The Glittery One**

_Friday, come when you want ! It'll be a fantastic dinner between friends !_

Maybe friends was a magic word, he had to appeal him with something to get him out of his little hole. He could easily imagine Alec like a cute but extremely distrustful animal. _A cat maybe,_ he thought, looking at Chairman Meow.

**Darling**

_Do I need to bring something?_

Magnus smirked.

**The Glittery One**

_Just you and your handsomeness !_

He couldn't help being himself.

*

Magnus had organized a dinner for a certain person to come but he hadn't asked the others if they had something planned for Friday.

It would be awkward if they ended up alone and by themselves whereas he had told him a different story.

He couldn't help being disappointed when Catarina, Ragnor, Izzy, Jace, Clary and her best friend confirmed their presence.

''You seem disappointed,'' noticed Catarina over the phone. ''What's wrong ?''

''I'm not,'' hastened to say Magnus removing the white stuff he had in his hair.

''Is he coming ?

''Who ?'' he asked, perfectly knowing whom she was talking about.

''The object of your desires.''

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''You'll see.''

''So he's coming ?''

''Yeah.''

''Great for you.''

''I know.''

''You must be so impatient,'' she said in an amused tone.

Magnus hummed and hung up with a small smile.  


Everyone was there except Alec, Magnus sighed and opened a bottle of wine.

Izzy and Jace, looking amazing as usual, were blinding Clary and Simon who didn't know where to look.

''They won't eat you,'' he said. ''Bring you trouble maybe, but you won't die.''

''What do you mean ?'' asked Izzy with a raised eyebrow. ''Don't put me in the same bag as that fool.''

''Look who's talking,'' said Jace with a frown while looking at her.

''Who destroyed Magnus' chandelier ?'' reminded him Catarina with a smile while providing glasses to their host.

''I paid him back for it,'' retorted stubbornly the golden boy.

''With your parents' money?'' blurted out Simon.

Magnus snorted and looked at him with amusement. ''Come here Sam,'' he teased. ''Have a drink.''

''It's Simon,'' reminded him the young man by taking the glass he handed to him.

''You got a problem with that?'' asked Jace, glaring at him.

''No, you just seem to solve everything with money and you look like a spoiled child.''

''We're spoiled rotten,'' said Izzy, looking him straight in the eye.

She didn't seem upset and had that strange smile on her lips. ''Does it bother you?''

''No.''

''Then shut up,'' Jace yelled angrily.

''Okay kids,'' Magnus said with a wince. ''Let's drink to our health and I hope that Alec will arrive soon.''

''He won't be long,'' confirmed Izzy taking her glass.

Jace took two of them and handed one to Clary who thanked him with a smile, then he sat down beside her and glared at Simon who was on Clary's left.

Magnus smiled and sat down next to Ragnor.

''Alec doesn't answer,'' complained Jace.

''He answers me because I am his favorite one, '' she trumpeted.

And he answered my call, could have added Magnus while sipping his drink.

''So you go for it?'' murmured Ragnor.

Magnus blinked. ''Let's say that I changed my strategy. ''

His friend smiled.

''Where's Chairman Meow?'' asked Simon.

''In you ass,'' grumbled Jace.

Simon narrowed his eyes. ''You're so funny and spiritual, people must often say that to you.''

''Chairman Meow is somewhere, hiding and not inside Samson.''

''Simon,'' corrected the latter with a weary stare.

Clary and Catarina were both looking at Magnus with a ' _why are you teasing him ?'_  gleam in their eyes. _Because he's fun to tease,_ he wanted to say but Izzy chimed in with a huge grin and suggested a game.

Magnus was only waiting for Alec.

The strange tension between Simon and Jace subsided gently and the living room brightened by the cries of the losers, attracting Chairman Meow who had decided to leave his hideout to the delight of Simon who caught him in order to pet him.

Magnus looked at the clock and the bell rang.

''Finally!'' shouted Jace.

''Alec is busy unlike others,'' said Izzy with narrowed eyes.

''He's working for your father ?'' asked Simon.

Izzy nodded and Magnus stood up, trying not to seem too happy.

''Fortunately,'' said Jace with a frown.

Magnus looked at him with furrowed brows while Izzy glared at him.

''Then stop grumbling,'' she simply said going to sit beside Catarina.

Magnus opened the door with a dazzling smile. Alec was there, always equal to himself, and blinked. Magnus wondered if he had abused glitter and smiled when he saw him staring at him with those curious eyes and impassive face.

''The more you want something the more it eludes you,'' Magnus said in a tragic tone, raising his eyebrows comically. ''I thought you'd never come Alexander, never mind,'' he hastily added with a hand movement seeing the distressed look of Alec.

He was clearly wondering he was really late and on the verge of panicking.

Magnus brought him inside with a mischievous smile while the others seemed pretty excited with their yelps filling the apartment.

''Give me your jacket.''

Alec slid his jacket off his shoulders and handed it to him, not without throwing at him a suspicious glare.

 _He really looked like a cat sometimes,_ he noticed with amusement.

Magnus' stare lingered on his shoulders, his neck, his back and he put his jacket with the others.

''For me?'' he asked, seeing the bottle Alec was holding.

The latter nodded. Magnus smiled widely. ''I thought I told you that your presence alone is more than enough. You're the only one who brought me something actually so thank you Alexander,'' he added.

Catarina and Ragnor were his closest friends so they didn't have to and the others neither but still Magnus was grateful. He kept on observing him, bottle in hand.

''I hope you'll have fun, for once.''

Alec glanced up at Magnus' smiling face.

''Sorry.''

''For what ? I can tell you're not comfortable when they're too many people around. It's not your fault. That's why I decided to organize this dinner, for a change,'' he said cheerfully, hoping that being himself and straightforward wouldn't make him run away. ''Furthermore, you were not really willing to come if there were no Jace, no Izzy and a lot of people,'' added Magnus bending his head.

Magnus gently smiled when he saw his apologetic wince and they joined the others.

''My last guest is finally here, let's eat !'' claimed Magnus, putting a hand on Alec's back.

It wasn't their first contact but Magnus could feel with his entire body the heat against his hand.

*

The diner went well, Alec looked more comfortable and even seemed friendly. Magnus kept an eye on him during the whole meal, watching his every reactions. He seemed to love chocolate and Chairman Meow seemed to really love him, as he was on his lap.

Not once, Alec's eyes went on Jace who spoke animatedly with Ragnor and Clary.

But he thought too fast.

Alec looked at Jace later, when they were all in the living room. The same gaze focused on the object of his desires undoubtedly and Magnus knew that he was looking at Alec the same way, if not in a more intense way.

He felt displeased now, as the proof that something was changing and evolving into something more intense and more painful. Magnus was into Alec but he knew it was more deep than that and it was strange. He had no control over it and it escaped him. He wouldn't be able to explain it if he was asked to explain the why and the how.

Alec attracted him despite being what had been unappealing at first.

He learned in the evening that Jace was not really welcomed at Alec's place after cleaning all his books alphabetically and felt some relief that he didn't do the same at his place. He also learned that the golden boy was afraid of ducks.

''Ducks?'' Magnus muttered with a smirk, his eyes fixed on Jace. ''That's good to know.''

Who knows, maybe he would have to use this information against him one day. It remained to know under what circumstances. Magnus looked out of the corner of his eye at Alec, admiring his profile for the umpteenth time.

*  
''How was the dinner Alexander ?'' inquired Magnus filling a glass of wine.

Magnus had changed his strategy and attacked Alec with several approach attempts, less timid and more bold, and more natural for him.

Alec politely declined the glass offered by the latter who smirked. ''You're more orange juice?'' And his smile grew wider.

Obviously, the young man didn't really know how to react around him and felt wary for some reason. That could explain his little wince as if he was trapped and his worried stare when he noticed that they were alone.

''It was great,'' he simply commented.

''Obviously.''

Alec finally smiled but looked somewhere else with a puzzled look. He was easily distracted, he really looked like a cat.

''Alexander?''

Alec blinked. ''Sorry, you said...?''

Magnus smiled. ''You're easily distracted, am I not interesting enough for you ?''

''No you are, but...you're more intimidating.''

The words had naturally came out and Magnus wondered who looked the most surprised between them. He couldn't fight the victorious smile on his face and sat up, wondering if they would finally be able to know each other. He approached Alec who slightly tensed up with this proximity.

''Intimidating,'' he repeated. ''Really ? Tell me more about myself,'' he muttered.

Now he was dying to know what were his thoughts about him. Magnus didn't remember if they had already been this close and felt a strange feeling, a mixture of excitement and joy.

''With all your confidence,'' finally murmured Alec.

Magnus was pleased to hear those words and encouraged Alec to go on with a smile.

''Are you scared of me ?'' asked Magnus teasingly but with a serious gaze.

He could seem scary to him with his confidence and as they were completely unlike, that could explain why Alec wasn't comfortable in his presence.

''No, this...this is only one facet, an illusion to impress others, it's not scary but intimidating...''

So it was his social facet, maybe because it looked fake sometimes.

Magnus was no longer smiling, so he had noticed that under his confidence were hidden fears, worries, expectations, desires and anything else like any others? Magnus was confident, not always, but sometimes it was easier to do as if in order to be this way. But sometimes, people just assumed that he was superior and unable to get hurt, mainly because Magnus acted as if he didn't care about anything.

He silently observed him, wondering if Alec had noticed something else and deep inside he knew he had with those eyes.

''It seems I underestimated you, my dear Alexander,'' declared Magnus with a forlorn smile.

Alec blinked and stood up, trying to escape clearly regretting his honesty.

''Where are you going?'' asked Magnus with a confused look.

''Now I'm scared,'' blurted out Alec without any eye contact.

Magnus laughed, his head thrown back sensually. He followed him, ready to carry on their conversation when his sister chimed in.

''We're going home'' claimed Izzy with confidence.

Magnus' lip curled up in a disdainful way, a distinctive sign of his displeasure, when he looked at her. It made Alec stuck closer to Izzy who tightened her grip around his waist.

They really had a great relation, and Magnus envied them.

''What a pity, things were getting interesting,'' he said while looking at Alec.

''Thanks for the dinner,'' he grumbled while Izzy was warning the others that they were leaving.

''My pleasure Alexander, feel free to come as you wish. You'll always be welcome and I'll text you about my next party, a real one this time. There will be juice.''

Izzy chuckled, whereas Alec embarrassed looked away.

''Let's go ?'' asked Jace. ''See you, Magnus !''

Magnus accompanied them to the front door, leaning against the wall and staring at Alec.

''See you guys,'' he said. ''We'll see each others soon enough.''

Izzy and Jace smiled and get out first whereas Magnus drew nearer.

''Our conversation is not over Alexander, I'll call you.''

Alec blinked, Magnus winked at him, pleased by every of his reactions, and made him hastily close the door behind him.

Magnus grinned, there was some progress.

''You're going to scare him away,'' said Ragnor behind him. ''And you'll complain and whine later.''

''You told me to be myself.''

He snorted. ''It was kind of cute to see you shy and observing him all this time,'' he sighed. ''I've never seen you so passive with someone.''

Magnus rolled his eyes and went to join Catarina, Simon and Clary, followed closely by Ragnor who had a wide grin.

*

Magnus called Alec the day after, a very clear idea in mind.

''How was the pajama party between siblings Alexander, did you have fun ?'' he asked after having heard his _'hello ?'_

''Uh...yes, yes, uh thank you for asking,'' answered a very confused Alec.

He was certainly wondering why he was calling him.

''Wonderful ! When are you free?''

''I don't know,'' Alec hastily answered.

Maybe Magnus had really scared him by being himself. ''I'm not that scary you know,'' he murmured softly and in an amused tone.

It made Alec snorted and apologized.

''Let me prove it to you, How about tonight ? Not a long time if you're really busy.'' Magnus hastily added.

''Okay,'' he finally muttered.

''I'll be waiting for you,'' Magnus said a little too happily.

Then he stared at his phone with a wide grin. There was some progress.

* 

Magnus had always been able to adapt to any situation. People often said that and praised his ability to be easily at ease no matter what.

But it didn't really work with Alec. Not all the time. And his nervousness was contagious, Magnus then did what he could do the best: to seem confident when he was not.

Alec was staring at his orange juice. ''I can drink wine but I don't like it,'' he confessed to Magnus who gave him his mischievous look. ''Thanks.''

They were on the sofa, alone, except Chairman Meow who gleefully rubbed against Alec.

''I'm making you uncomfortable,'' commented Magnus sipping his expensive wine.

He began to understand how it worked to make him talk and react. Alec was shut on himself and a bit in a bubble but there was this openness that allowed to speak with him quite easily if needed. Alec was not so inaccessible as he seemed to be.

Alec shrugged.

''Why?''

''Because we're very different? I don't know if you're joking or if you're really mocking me sometimes...''

Magnus leaned his head. ''You think I'm making fun of you ?''

He had already had this impression, him being suspicious in front of his smiles and glances. Maybe he had once or maybe twice but Magnus didn't remember and didn't want him to think of him this way.

''No ?''

They remained silent and stared at each other.

''Tell me more about you Alexander, I know nothing despite all these years.''

It was an opportunity to get to know each other better, Magnus had managed to glean information here and there but he would like to hear what he had learned from the mouth of the latter. During those two years, he had observed him but it was not enough to really know someone.

''What do you want to know ?'' Alec asked.

''Everything.''

Alec blinked.

''It will be difficult as there is nothing to tell,'' he whispered, lowering his head.

His unconfidence reappeared. In fact it was always here, sometimes stronger than ever and hiding his whole being.

''You're so different from Izzy and Jace,'' marveled Magnus with a gentle look.

''I know, it surprised many people that we're from the same family. Except for Jace, of course.''

''He was adopted.''

Alec nodded. ''His father was a close friend of my father, that's why...''

Magnus stared lengthily at him, carefully scrutinizing his every features as to etch them in his memory.

''And you're working for your father?''

Alec winced. ''I am the eldest, I have to succeed him. He doesn't know yet but I will lead the company to bankruptcy. ''

So he wasn't that great at his job. It made Magnus laugh.

''Do you want to succeed him?''

Alec didn't answer, and Magnus decided to change the topic as he didn't seem to talk anymore about it. Magnus had guessed that no one along the Lightwoods children seemed to be in good terms with the father. The less they talked about him and the better they felt obviously. It was confirmed when he began to speak about himself -for want of anything better- and saw Alec relax.

Magnus introduced himself in more details -thing that he never really did- and told his life. It was always a topic of conversation and it sometimes made conversation.

''I was born in Indonesia and was abandoned early, almost immediately by my parents. I grew up in an orphanage and as soon as I could leave I did.''

Alec stared at him, his eyes full of curiosity. He was clearly wondering why his English was this perfect.

''An English volunteer in the orphanage.''

Alec nodded and Magnus continued with a smile. If Alec was more a listener than a talker Magnus was all his opposite, but still, if the young man decided to talk about whatever he wanted Magnus could listen to him all night despite his legendary eagerness.

''I don't like to sweat unnecessarily, except in bed of course,'' he announced with a suggestive look, eager to see Alec's reaction.

Alec only blinked, looking puzzled.

''I'm teasing you,'' Magnus added with a glittery wink, trying to reassure him.

He didn't see or guessed anything, Magnus had a long way to go.

He stopped any flirt attempts in order to not let him be uncomfortable and they talked a lot and about unnecessary things until quite late.

''I need to go,'' said Alec, standing up after having looked at the time on his watch.

Magnus also rose and followed him to the front door. He tried to touch him, watching out for his reaction, and Alec stiffened when he felt his hand on his waist. He wasn't ready obviously and Magnus noticed that he didn't react last time when he had touched his back, maybe something changed and Alec had become self-conscious, bus still, Magnus took off his hand with his heat crackling at his fingertips.

''Good night,'' muttered Alec.

Magnus gently smiled at him. ''Good night Alexander.''

*

His strategy : _to_   _get Alexander used to him_ began to bear fruit and Magnus was happy. It was slow but necessary and he was rewarded by being less foreign for each other.

Everybody could tell Magnus and Alec were getting closer that they ever been. Magnus couldn't hide his satisfied grin under the puzzled look of Ragnor and Catarina.

''What did you do ?'' she asked.

''Nothing,'' Magnus said still smiling.

''Alec's here,'' clarified Ragnor to Catarina.

''He's always here,'' she retorted. ''You're together ?'' she asked, full of hope.

Magnus' smile slowly disappeared. ''Not yet.''

''Didn't you say that he was interested in someone else?'' remembered Ragnor.

Magnus rolled his eyes. He was no longer happily smiling and it made appear a smile on Catarina's lips.

''You made me grumpy,'' he huffed walking away from them to reach people a bit more jovial.

He spotted Simon, Clary and Jace together and automatically tried to locate Alec among the guests. He tried to spot his sister as well but she also seemed to hide from any radar. Magnus was then speared by a rather talkative man and as he didn't have the patience to listen to him, decided to leave to take another drink.

''Stop sulking,'' sighed Catarina.

''It depends whether those who make me sulk stop making me sulk.''

''Did it just came out from the mouth of a twenty-eight years old man?'' asked Ragnor lending an ear.

''How is it going with Alec?'' asked Catarina.

''Slowly but surely,'' answered calmly Magnus.

Ragnor smirked. ''Look at him, he's super excited and does as if he wasn't.''

Catarina stared at him. ''So you get to know each other and you're friends,'' she summed up. ''But you want more and you said that he was into someone else so...''

''So what ?'' said Magnus with a frown.

Catarina wasn't a kill-joy, she just cared for him and he could see that Ragnor did too.

''I don't know where it'll take me but I'll try.''

''Okay,'' said Catarina and she looked around, searching for someone.

Magnus opened his mouth, wanting to say that he was hiding somewhere -as she got the habit to observe him as well- when a guy cleared his throat near them. He was young and had red hair.

''Uh...Magnus...someone, I mean two guys are fighting in your kitchen.''

Magnus rolled his eyes and swore. ''Jace,'' he sighed.

Catarina shook her head while Ragnor heaved a weary sigh.

''It surprised me that he still hadn't done anything yet,'' he said.

''Jace ?'' said the boy. ''He's dancing with his girlfriend.''

Their eyes converged on Jace, easily spotted, dancing with Clary. Who was fighting then ?

''They're together ?'' asked Catarina who didn't care at all.

''It's his brother, tall with black hair,'' carried on the guy.

They looked back at him with bewilderment. Catarina let out an exclamation of surprise and a strangled laugh, Ragnor narrowed his eyes and smiled in an incredulous way whereas Magnus' mouth slightly opened.

''What ?'' was only what he could say.

''More wild than we thought,'' joked Ragnor.

''There's finally a family resemblance,'' added Catarina.

Magnus gave her his glass and rushed into the kitchen, followed by Ragnor who didn't want to miss the fight.

He would never have thought that from Alec. And under his wide eyes, he saw him -usually so calm and staid- throwing himself on his opponent and Magnus didn't react immediately at the sight of the fight, of his destroyed table and damaged kitchen, transfixed as he was by Alec's unexpected side.

Magnus finally reacted when Ragnor cleared his throat and grabbed Alec by his waist, trying to snap him from the guy on the ground. He enjoyed himself while squeezing him tight against him and Alec stiffened when he identified the hands on his stomach. Alec squirmed, trying to get away from his grip while Ragnor moved toward the boy who glared at them.

Alec hadn't missed the guy.

 _What happened for him to react this way ?_ Magnus wondered, eyes on him, still holding him and manipulating Alec to make them face each other.

Magnus' eyes softened when Alec tried to escape from his touch like a cat and raised his hand to his face.

''You'll have a nice black eye and your lip is split.''

''What happened ?" asked Ragnor.

Magnus narrowed his eyes when he finally noticed Izzy.

"This guy was a pain in the ass during high school,'' she hissed.

That explained a lot. Woe betide those who dared to harm Alec's siblings.

"I'll pay you back," muttered Alec to Magnus who had finally let him go to see the damage.

''The question is how,'' Magnus said teasingly making Alec wince.

And he glared at the guy Donovan that he had came to know in his company as an intern. He didn't intend to invite him ever again and he didn't.

*

Alec's face returned gradually to normal as he was getting more and more comfortable with Magnus who was glad to see this change.

But Magnus wasn't satisfied with their current relationship and wanted more. He was getting impatient, wanted to make his move now and tell him the interest he had for him even if he was scared to be rejected.

 _Nothing ventured, noting gained,_ he thought to give himself some courage before watching Alec caressing Chairman Meow.

Magnus took a deep sigh and took the plunge, hoping to choose the right words and the right method. But at first, he had to make sure of Alec's feelings for Jace.

“We're friends, right?” he blurted out.

He sounded tensed and nervous despite trying to be not and Alec seemed to notice his trouble.

Alec froze, worried, and glanced up at him, he didn't look away when Chairman Meow gave him a blow with his paw for him to continue his cuddles. All of his attention was focused on Magnus who was quite grateful.

"I wanted to ask you from a long time,'' confessed Magnus softly. ''Are you still in love with Jace?''

Alec looked like a statue, frozen in his last posture. Only his eyes betrayed the panic and anxiety that overwhelmed him. Magnus didn't expect this reaction.

''I'm not,'' he growled.

He denied it, Magnus frowned. He didn't expect him to lie either and gave him a weary look, he couldn't lie, not on this field.

"Don't lie to me, I know, I can see it.''

Alec gave him a panicked look and looked on the verge of apoplexy. Magnus looked anxiously at him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder but Alec stood up and violently repelled him.

Magnus didn't expect this reaction either and didn't bother to hide how hurt he was by this gesture. He had hoped and imagined a civilized conversation, and not this disaster, because it was one.

He had discovered something. What he had believed to be only modesty, discretion and an unrequited love weren't everything. Something big was hidden underneath, something deeper who could explain a lot of thing about Alexander.

He didn't assume the attraction he had toward men.

And this observation crushed Magnus deep inside of him. _In what I got bogged down ?_  He didn't know what was the worst between wishing to go out with a straight man or someone into the closet. Both were equally painful.

"I guess you're not assuming your feelings,'' he paused in a voice he tried to keep calm. "Or your homosexuality, maybe both."

''I'm not,'' he repeated, almost painfully.

Magnus also stood up, slowly, and faced him. But Alec refused to look at him in the eyes, so he lifted his chin. ''You're not what ? Gay ? It's not a disease, Alexander, you're normal.''

Alec clearly seemed unready to ear that, he was in denial and Magnus got angry.

''You can't be closeted all your life, Alexander.''

He knew he shouldn't have when Alec flinched and glared at him. He seemed to have changed his mind and to not deny it any longer.

''So what ? I can't I don't get the point,'' he hissed back.

Magnus blinked, surprised to see him fight back. Alec looked like a hedgehog who once attacked bristled his pikes all around him to defend himself.

''You can't ? What's stopping you except yourself, stop acting like a coward and be yourself."

Magnus was using strong words, expecting to make him change and realize that it wasn't a flaw. But he was getting more and more angry as the conversation didn't go as planned.

"And if I refuse, you will force me? Is that what friends do?"

Magnus gritted his teeth and frowned, he really didn't expect this side of him and was more surprised than he should have by what appeared to be stubbornness and boldness.

"We have never been friends, not enough for you to tell me all of that. What's it to you that I am closeted ? That I still have not made my coming out ? Nothing !" Alec hissed.

Magnus felt a sharp pain in his chest and his upper lip curled up. Who knew it could degenerated to this point?

"What were you expecting Magnus, that everyone is like you ? Openly bisexual?" he attacked. "Everybody is not like you," he continued in the same dismissive tone. "Especially not me."

Magnus' eyes were now only two slots that anger had made yellow. He had made a mistake, everybody was different and had their own circumstances but he had sincerely thought that Alec would have taken it differently and as he wasn't expecting any of this he didn't feel guilty at all.

He was hurt by his words and vexed whereas he just had tried to help him and to change things between them. Alec had attacked him, Magnus was going to retaliate.

''You're such a coward,'' he smirked sarcastically. ''Everyone can tell you're closeted except you."

It wasn't true, only immature words that went out from his lips. But he had got what he wanted but didn't feel better at all when he saw Alec's expression, as if someone had just shot him.

''Did you really expect that something would change if you told me?'' Alec retorted coldly.

''Yes,'' admitted slowly Magnus. ''I foolishly thought I could help you and change something.''

He didn't really plan anything, he had stupidly tried to sort out this fool's feelings for Jace and confessed his growing affection for him. Magnus felt an unpleasant sensation inside him that filled his mouth with a terribly bitter taste.

''You were right,'' said Alec with a shrug. ''Something changed, we're no longer friends.''

Magnus blinked and stepped forward.

''You're running away?'' he asked in disbelief and with disdain.

He couldn't believe that he drew a line on what they were so easily. Magnus knew he could be proud, and too much sometimes, but Alec was worse than him.

''That's what cowards do,'' the latter hissed back.

Magnus huffed, never someone had hurt this much in so little time.

''If you walk out that door, Alexander, you'll no longer be welcome here,'' he threatened.

Alec didn't seem to care and opened the door. Magnus rushed on him and put his hand over his, trying to hold him back. He hadn't wanted any of that.

''Alexander,'' he whispered, beginning to regret what he had said and willing to apologize.

Alec swallowed hard, they were so close that Magnus saw that he was also saddened and pained as he was, but it didn't prevent him to pushed his hand slowly away.

''It won't be a big loss for you. I choose the right path for me and my family, that's it. If you can't accept it, then back off...I really didn't want to hear all those things from you. As if I needed it...,'' he murmured before going out as fast as possible.

Magnus buried his face in his hands and let out a frustrated groan. Something was definitely wrong, what did he mean by he couldn't be gay and by choosing the right path? Was it because he was his father's heir? It seemed deeper than that, afraid as he seemed to be. Or maybe he was simply scared to be what he was, nothing more.

''You're normal,'' he whispered while shutting his eyes.

And Magnus cursed at his own eagerness and the fact that he had been too conceited. He had deluded himself between his expectations and reality, and should have been content with what he had. All went well until now before mentioning Jace.

_Jace._

Magnus began childishly to hate him as if he was responsible for what had happened.

If unconfidence was ugly, jealousy was even more as Alec couldn't help feeling what he felt for his foster brother when he couldn't undertake his sexuality. If it was unconscious, it meant that Magnus couldn't even dream to have his feelings reciprocated one day.

He was screwed, it was too late. Magnus wanted Alec despite his pain and his fear to live a sad story which would maybe never arise.

*

Magnus was angry and a lot for having behaved as he did. His intentions were good in the beginning, then the situation had skidded and he had found himself playing the role of a backseat-driver to make Alec understand that being gay was not a flaw.

And he had said things under the influence of anger, pride, and resentment -as he had had some expectations this evening-. All had flown in one evening, all his efforts to get closer to Alec undone by the mere mention of Jace.

He never had suspected that he didn't make his coming out, he never thought about it. It wasn't the end of the world but for Magnus it was.

Feeling unpleasant feelings invading his entire being, he rose from his couch and went to pour himself a glass of wine, a bottle that Alec had brought him after his fight in his kitchen.

Magnus let out a growl of frustration and decided to go back to bed under the piercing gaze of Chairman Meow.  


He huffed when he noticed that both of them were too proud and too stubborn to apologize or even to talk first to the other. The game _who would apologize first_ promised to be long and to never end. Magnus didn't expect this side of him either and was a little mesmerized by Alec's new facets.

Magnus kept bringing it up over and over their argument hoping of exorcising his resentment but nothing worked.

In a way, they could have talk with open faces and show their true colors.

He decided to organize a party as usual hoping and hoping not that he would come, as he didn't know how he would react, maybe they would ignore each other.

Magnus sighed at the prospect of having no reconciliation in sight, and it was eating him from the inside.

He was grumpy and people were looking at him with worry. Usually, Magnus was a smiling person but when he was angry or in a bad mood, it was an other story.

His guests didn't dare to approach him and when Catarina walked in with a big smile, she stopped and stared at him with concern. Ragnor frowned but was more brave and approached him slowly as if he was a wild animal.

''What's wrong ?''

''Your market research was wrong?'' asked Catarina.

''He looks like a tiger,'' muttered Clary to Simon.

''No wonder he's in good terms with his cat,'' whispered the latter.

Magnus glared at them and went to get a drink, followed closely by Catarina.

''What's wrong ?''

''I don't have the right to be grumpy?''

''No.''

Magnus slightly smiled, which seemed to reassure Catarina who gently took his arm.

''Did you see Alexander?'' he asked.

Catarina blinked. ''No, Izzy and Jace are still not there. Something happened?''

Magnus snorted. ''Kind of,'' he mumbled to himself.

But he said no more in and continued to fulminate throughout the evening. He wanted and didn't want Alec to come at his party as he didn't how they would react with each other.

''If you don't want to tell me I'll ask Alec myself.''

''If he comes,'' smirked Magnus walking away and emptying his glass.

''Something happened with Alec ?'' asked Clary with a frown to Catarina who could only shrugged.

Magnus sighed and mingled with those who didn't care about him.

Clary, Ragnor Catarina kept staring at him throughout the evening, while Simon didn't take his eyes off Chairman Meow perched on the shelf and dominating everyone with pleased eyes.

Jace and Izzy finally arrived with a big smile, smile that faded little by little when they saw the awful mood Magnus was in.

''What's going on ?'' asked Izzy taking the glass that Simon handed to her with a shy smile.

She thanked him with her most dazzling smile whereas Jace was looking at Magnus with a frown.

''He swallowed a hairball or what?''

''I think something happened with Alec,'' Clary murmured which slightly worsened things when Magnus heard that name.

''What did he do ?'' asked Jace.

''We'd like to know,'' said Catarina. ''He's coming soon ?''

Izzy's eyes immediately went on Magnus. ''He won't come, he has a lot of work and he's too busy.''

Magnus snorted. So he wouldn't come and had taken his words spoken on a whim seriously.

''He said you already knew,'' she added with a frown.

''What ?'' said Magnus with an incredulous smile.

And he swore. It must suit him that he couldn't come here.

''He's the most coward person I ever met in my entire life,'' he hissed angrily. ''I should have trust my first impression !''

''Hey,'' said Jace while grabbing his arm. ''Why are you saying that ?''

Magnus pulled away with the same force as Alec when he had touched him.

''Get away from me,'' he growled.

Jace narrowed his golden eyes and opened his mouth, but Clary chimed in.

''Stop, he's in a bad mood you just have to wait before...''

''Before what ?'' he hissed. ''You had a fight with Alec? You're a little sad ? It serves you right!''

Magnus' eyes were only two slots. ''Get out, you're no longer welcome here,'' he hissed.

He couldn't think straight at the moment and felt only anger and envy for the one he considered responsible for his argue with Alec. It was when he met Catarina's gaze that he came to his senses and decided to leave before becoming even more childish and pitiful than he already was, and because of one person in particular.

Alec knew how to confused him even without being there.

He went out on the balcony, his empty glass in hand and leaned against the piece of wall with a painful expression. He was soon joined by someone and sighed in relief when he saw that it wasn't Catarina.

''Catarina is trying to calm things down between Clary and Jace and she tells me to tell you that you're an idiot to make everyone unhappy when you are unhappy,'' said Izzy while handing him a full glass of wine.

''I don't like to suffer alone,'' he said with a sad smile.

''What happened with Alec ? You had a fight ? You can tell me I'm his sister...and your friend,'' she added.

Magnus looked carefully at her, scrutinizing her features so similar to her brother's ones, and his throat tightened.

''Because of Jace, '' he blurted out. ''And it went to shit.''

They stared at each other and Magnus knew that she knew, but she didn't seem very comfortable as if a secret had been revealed and she didn't know how to react.

''I never bring it up with him,'' she murmured, leaning back beside him.

''I did and it didn't turn well.''

She didn't ask him what they talked about exactly and Magnus was grateful.

''You really were immature with Jace.''

''I know,'' he mumbled.

They were silent for a while and Izzy straightened up and looked up at the dark sky.

''Maybe thanks to you I could finally talk to him about it,'' she said before typing something on her phone. ''I just sent you his address, if you feel like going and talking to him.''

Magnus snorted.

''Do you...,'' she began to say with hesitation but she didn't finish her sentence as if she didn't dare.

''It's one-sided obviously,'' he murmured.

Izzy looked at him from the corner of the eye and slipped inside the apartment before turning back to him.

''Alec is... I think you should take the first step, he doesn't know what he wants, I think he never thought about that, so...''

''I know,'' Magnus murmured. ''I know...I would never have thought that it would be so complicated and painful with your brother...''

Izzy sadly smiled. ''You're half-way, don't give up now.''

 _I won't,_ Magnus thought as he still wanted him.

*

Catarina ceased to harass him about Alec and the object of their argue that Magnus kept jealously. He didn't want her to know, with Ragnor, for not making them say that he had to move on. Magnus was suffering a bit and would suffer more but he didn't want them to know in order to not be discouraged to deepen his relationship with Alexander.

Magnus knew that he was selfish to want Alec to no longer be closeted just for considering the possibility of a potential relationship with him. Maybe he had a good reason to still be in the closet, and usually it came from the family.

Izzy didn't seem to know but didn't seem to mind his interest for him.

Normally, he would have given up before being too attached and would move on but it was too late to turn back. His interest for Alec had turned into something stronger that he hadn't felt in a long time. This was more frightening for him than the catastrophic situation he was in.

And Magnus was too proud, he was waiting for Alec to come and apologize first and had to face the facts that he wouldn't come. It was also why Izzy had given him his address, she probably knew that he wouldn't make the first move.

Magnus knew what he wanted, Alec didn't, so he knew that he had to be the first one to take the first step for a possible reconciliation.

He could do it but he was scared and nervous.

It took him some time to make up his mind and he finally decided to go at his place in order to apologize.

Magnus knew that Alec was a morning person and that he would be busy, he then decided to go early at his place, without warning to prevent any escape and knowing he would be there.

After gathering his courage, Magnus decided to go there early and arrived fairly quickly at his destination. The building was simple and was in a busy street. He hesitated to press the intercom button when a bearded man opened the door and gave him a disinterested look.

Magnus automatically hold the door and paused a moment before stepping inside. He didn't take the elevator but the stairs instead that he climbed slowly, remembering the number of the apartment.

If it went well, he would thank Izzy again and again.

Alec's apartment was in the middle of the corridor, Magnus walked slowly and soon found himself in front of the door. He didn't dare to knock or ring the bell. He ran a hand through his neck in a nervous gesture and accidentally hit the door.

So he knocked.

There was a rattling and the door opened on a teenager with glasses. With a frown, Magnus wondered if he had made a mistake. They stared lengthily at each other and Magnus almost felt uncomfortable being stared at this way by those gray eyes. Something in him reminded him of Alec and they had similar features.

''Alexander lives here ?'' he asked uncertainly.

The teenager nodded. ''He's sleeping. You are?''

''A friend.''

''You can come in if you want, he'll wake up soon.''

Magnus hesitated, wondering what Alec would think of it but accepted. He stepped inside and cast a curious glance at his surroundings. He gasped at the sight of the huge library in the living room. He knew that Alec liked to read but he would never have thought it would be this much.

''Do you want to drink something?'' asked politely the teenager.

Magnus blinked and looked at him. ''No thank you.''

There was a heavy silence and Magnus smiled when he noticed the sidelong glances that was throwing the boy at him.

''So you're Alec's friend ?'' he asked as to make sure it was really the case.

He didn't look surprised but more curious.

''Magnus Bane.''

''I'm Max, the little brother,'' introduced the latter with a shy smile.

The same smile.

''You're the guy at whom Izzy and Jace party?'' he asked while sitting on the couch.

And he stared at him from head to toe, his eyes lingering on his hands and face.

Magnus snorted and sat next to him. ''Yeah I'm this guy but Alexander comes too to keep an eye on them, he doesn't come to have fun,'' he said with a comical wince.

Max's smile widened which made Magnus grin.

''He has a lot of books.''

Max nodded. ''Some of my books are there and all the mangas are mine.''

Magnus smiled.

''How behaved Jace and Izzy when they party? They drink a lot?'' he asked with a wince.

Magnus did his best to not laugh. ''It depends, sometimes yes. But they behave when Alexander is here, most of the time.''

Max smiled. ''Alec always has to keep an eye on them,'' he sighed.

Right, he always took care of them whereas nobody really did for him.

''It's been a while since he came,'' Magnus murmured.

''Why ?''

''We had an argument.''

''You came to make up? ''

''We can say that.''

''He didn't tell me... Alec doesn't talk much.''

''I had noticed.''

''You''ll be friends again don't worry, Alec always forgive in the end...by the way, whose fault was it ?''

Magnus had started but Alec had had a bad reaction. ''Our fault of both of us, we're too proud and stubborn.''

Max grinned and opened his mouth to say something when they heard a noise of a door opening.

''He just woke up,'' murmured Max.

Magnus sat up, much less smiling and relaxed than he had been with the little brother.

His heart missed a beat when Alec left his room, hair disheveled and wearing only some pajama bottoms, coming down low on his hips. Magnus literally fell in love with the contrast between his skin and his tattoos.

His chest, shoulders, the inside of his arms and his hip -where he could see a tip- were covered with patterns that intrigued him. Magnus had only one desire, to get up and move closer in order to carefully look at them.

But he restrained himself and sat quietly while Alec, obviously not fully awake, went into the kitchen.

''Max hurry up or you'll be late,'' he said in an hoarsely voice.

Magnus, who was anxiously waiting for him to realize his presence, did his best to retain the smile that threatened to explode on his lips when Alec finally discovered him on his couch.

The latter frowned and looked taken aback and they stared at each other whereas Max jumped on his brother. Magnus was thinking that Alec had a very nice body and began to have not very pure thoughts for someone who had came to apologize.

He didn't hear their conversation as he was trying to keep control over his thoughts and searching for suitable words to apologize or even to justify his presence here. He stood up and looked at the books on the shelves looking for inspiration.

Now all his attention was focused on them. He turned around when he heard Max close the door.

They were finally alone.

''Hello Alexander,'' he greeted softly.

Alec nervously ran his hand over his bare arm, looking the same and uncomfortable as usual, and Magnus thought that maybe he was staring at his body a little too boldly. It didn't prevent him to not look though, and after awkwardly standing there, Alec walked away and came back with an old t-shirt.

Magnus wouldn't be able to see his tattoos closer then and he felt disappointed.

''Do you want to drink something ?'' Alec asked uncertainly.

Magnus blinked. ''The same as you. You could have stayed as you were...''

An embarrassed and fleeting smile crossed Alec's lips. He handed him a cup of coffee and sat down at a reasonable distance from Magnus who made a mocking noise. He didn't have the plague.

And he remembered that they were still at odds.

''Izzy is the only one with dark eyes among the three of you,'' he commented. ''Max is lovely, you're really alike. ''

It was a polite talk as he didn't dare to tackle the sensitive subject and the reason for his coming.

Alec blinked, not knowing what to say. Polite talk was not his thing, Magnus knew it and took a sip and set his cup with too much spirit on the coffee table. He had to be more straightforward.

''Izzy told me where you lived for some time already, she thought you'd no longer be willing to come even though I was hoping the opposite... I've waited foolishly Alexander, but you preferred to hole up like...''

''Like a coward.''

It was a statement without any animosity, Magnus made his rings jingled together and sighed before staring at him with intensity. ''I was not serious when I said you were no longer welcome.''

''You're here to apologize?'' asked Alec. ''What's the point ? You meant what you said and I did too.''

He got up and Magnus followed him. At the time, he did but it was no longer the case.

''I was too sharp,'' Magnus admitted. ''And you're right, I still think what I said except for the _never come back again_ , I'm sorry. I wanted to change things, but not like that !''

''Too sharp ? Because of what you said I feel like it's written...,'' he tried to explain but didn't dare to say the word and made a hand gesture. ''On my forehead ! You've made things worse.''

Magnus opened his mouth, feeling guilty. ''I wanted to make you react and I know it was not the right way !''

They glared at each other. Both of them were still hurt by what had happened but Magnus knew very well who had been hurt the most.

''If you were a friend,'' said Alec. ''You would have waited that I...''

Magnus blinked and snorted. ''Really ? Let me doubt that Alexander!''

He didn't believe him as his siblings didn't seem to know, even if Izzy had a clue, so he seriously doubted that he would have ended confide in to him. Even if he intended to do so one day, Magnus knew he wouldn't have had the patience to wait and would have tackle the issue one way or another.

''Then you'd have think there was a reason behind it,'' Alec whispered more for himself, thoughtfully.

Magnus drew nearer, ready to pick a secret. ''Like what?''

''A homophobic father ?''

That could explain a lot of things... Magnus plunged his eyes that anger made yellow in Alec's blue eyes.

''It seems to be a valid reason but what interests me more is why the sister of the blue eyed boy is not aware of all of this ?'' he asked with a little smile.

Alec sadly smiled. ''Let's say that the boy confessed his...tendency to his sister now, who might be aware of the homophobic father.''

Magnus lifted his chin when he looked away and smiled. ''There's some progress, but it would be even better if he could talk openly about his sexuality instead of babbling.''

Even if he spoke or mentioned a sensitive issue for Alec, the tension between them subsided and they could now stood more comfortably in front of each other.

''We're both too stubborn,'' Magnus noticed with a grin, his eyes wandering over his face..

''You're less.''

Magnus had to make concessions and his smile became more fierce, his efforts had been recognized in a way. ''It's because I know what I want and you don't !''

''You're older,'' Alec confided with a smile.

''And I have more experience,'' added Magnus.

Alec cleared his throat, making Magnus' smile widened. ''We're friends again ?''

He pondered, judging best to wait before confessing everything and destroying everything again. He had nothing to gain with his greed and his eagerness.

''If that's what you want then yes...we're friends again.''

Alec's smile was so sincere, cute and relieved that Magnus couldn't control himself and affectionately pinched his cheek. The latter didn't seem to mind and walked him to the front door.

Everything was like before.

''Don't forget to tell Max that we've reconciled. And come when you can this week for a drink like orange juice and to see Chairman Meow, he missed you a bit !'' he conceded.

Alec looked at him, a little surprise with his cheerful tone. And Magnus' smile softened.

''Oh, and one last thing,'' he added touching Alec's hip with his finger. Alec had frozen, waiting for what would follow. ''I hope you'll show me all your tattoos, you got dressed so fast...''

Especially the one hidden under the the belt. Magnus wanted to look at all of them closer but this one was in a pretty special place. He smiled, winked and left, happy to have reconciled with him and to have seen what he had seen.

He chuckled walking down the stairs, thinking back to the face Alec had made.

He would go slowly this time, in order to not spoil everything.

*

Magnus couldn't be patient, it was against his nature and he was already making considerable efforts. And even if they had made up, Alec still hadn't been once at his place.

He was home on his couch and looked at Chairman Meow playing with what appeared to be one of his rings. With a frown, he straightened up and gently pushed him with his foot to recover his jewel. Following the look that gave him his cat, Magnus put back the ring on the floor.

''You can play with it.''

Chairman Meow gave a paw at the shiny object which rolled against the wall and threw himself on it with gusto.

 _I made up with Alexander,_ he sent to Catarina and Ragnor.

Ragnor answered with a _fine_ whereas Catarina preferred to call him.

''You 'll stop being grumpy ?''

''Yes, but it won't make me more mature.''

She snorted. ''You still don't want to tell me why you had a fight?''

Magnus winced. ''It's a private matter.''

''It has something to do with Jace?''

Magnus frowned and remained silent, giving to Catarina the information she wanted.

''Your unfair behavior toward him,'' she added. ''Although the exact causes are still unknown to me I would know soon enough,'' she said with satisfaction. ''Kiss Chairman Meow on my behalf.''

Perplexed and dumbfounded, Magnus stared at his cat who had stopped playing with the ring to drink from the kitchen tap.

Until the end he intended to stay quiet about the fact that Alec denied his homosexuality. Catarina and Ragnor would and could understand but Magnus didn't really want to hear from their lips that it was doomed to fail. It was not given to everyone to have a comprehensive family and Magnus liked to think that things would work out between him and Alec.

But for that he had to force destiny.

By calling Alec, for example, to see each other. And that was what he did. He should have finished his day already.

Apparently not.

''I'll call you back later,'' the latter whispered. ''It's important ?''

Magnus blinked and straightened up on his couch, happy to hear his voice even if it was a whisper.

''I'm important and I remind you that my invitation to come whenever you want is still on but you still have not shown the tip of your nose !'' he protested with a frown.

''I have a meeting, I'll call you later.''

Magnus huffed. ''Since when meetings are more important than me ?'' he grumbled before Alec hung up.

He patiently waited fifteen minutes before calling him back, not believing for a second that he would call him.

Alec picked up immediately.

''How do you know I'm out ?'' he asked in a normal tone which meant that he was now outside, with the traffic noise Magnus could hear.

''I didn't know, I thought I would distract you from this boring meeting that had to be fatally boring !''

And because I didn't trust you when you said that you would call me back.

''You were saying ?''

''We've reconciled but you didn't come ! What about tonight? Your day is over and mine too.''

There was a silence.

''Alexander ?''

''Okay.''

''There will be juice,'' Magnus said cheerfully before hanging up and grinned at Chairman Meow who was licking his paw.

 

As he was waiting for him to arrive, Magnus blendered some fruits to make juice under the imperious look of his tabby cat in the sink.

''Why do you put yourself there ? Is it so comfortable ?'' he asked.

The master and his feline stared at each other for a while and Chairman Meow suddenly went down and headed for the entrance.

''You're putting water everywhere,'' sighed Magnus who could see his wet paw prints on the floor.

And the doorbell rang.

Magnus opened the door with a big smile and discovered Alec in a suit. He didn't bother to hide his astonishment.

The young man, wearing a gray suit and a white shirt particularly flattering, narrowed his eyes when he saw himself being observed and gave him a wary look.

''You can be charming when you want,'' Magnus exclaimed. ''I always find you charming, but this is better than usual, you know what I mean ?''

But Alec didn't know what he meant and scowled. ''No, I hate to dress like that,'' he growled. ''And...what about you ?'' he asked curiously, also staring.

It was Magnus' turn to be puzzled. He was wearing very tight black pants, a red shirt that he didn't bother to close, a black jacket sprinkled with red glitter and his jewels, and his usual nail polish and makeup.

Alec finally smiled and entered and Magnus handed him a glass of fruits juice.

''Pineapple and lychee, homemade !''

''Thank you.''

Magnus kept his eyes focused on him and saw that he was looking at apartment as if he was trying to notice a change, unless he remembered what had happened. It made him wince as it haunted him for days.

''Are you scared of the sofa Alexander ?'' he laughed gently, sitting down and stretching his legs on the coffee table.

Alec was uncomfortable and it was contagious. Their conversation wasn't over and Magnus didn't know how to handle the bothersome topic which drew them apart. He still had to if he wanted Alec to accept himself despite everything else, and especially if he wanted Alec to consider him as a potential boyfriend. Magnus wanted this position and at all costs.

''What do you want to watch ?''

''I don't know,'' Alec answered, sitting down next to him.

Magnus' smile widened. ''What about...Brokeback Mountain ?''

It just came out on his own and it was ruined if he had wanted to go slowly, Magnus gave him a hesitant look and was about to curse himself when he saw that Alec had had no reaction.

All in all, talking about it could make him able to exorcise this issue and make him more comfortable. It was risky and Alec could run away at any time, but he stayed where he was.

He wasn't much of a coward as he had finally claimed.

''No, not really I'm more into scary movies right now, '' Alec said.

Magnus smiled, wondering if it was true and they watched Battle Royale. He kept observing him, craving to tackle the subject which he had set awkwardly a few minutes earlier.

''Say what you have to say, '' Alec finally whispered.

He was resigned, and for a moment Magnus got lost in the contemplation of his profile and in particular his jawline from which he couldn't tear his eyes from.

Magnus finally took a deep breath. ''Get out of your closet Alexander, I want you to be happy, Izzy does too, you'll be happier if you accept yourself ! Be what you are, do not be frightened, '' he said in one go.

Alec sighed, his eyes still glued to the TV screen. He wasn't trying the best he could to not look at him whereas Magnus desperately wanted him to.

''And if I'm fine in this closet?''

Magnus was relieved at the idea that they could finally speak calmly about it and he snorted. ''Since when being locked in a closet is nice ? Whatever ! But for how long ? You're starting to feel cramped, right ?''

Alec didn't answer. ''And if I want to stay locked in that closet ?''

''Want ? You were locked there Alexander, how can you want it ?''

And by his dear father.

''And if it's the best for me ?''

Magnus wondered if his father had told him that and if he had ever brainwashed him to make him believe it.

''It would be best for you to do you're coming out Alexander, believe me. I guess it won't be easy with your family but... ''

''Why do you care so much if I'm closeted or not? '' murmured Alec turning away from the TV.

Magnus, who was now watching the movie, opened his mouth but no sound came out. He ran his tongue over his lips. He couldn't confess in those conditions. He didn't want to be rejected by Alec just because he was closeted, Magnus wouldn't support this. By far, he would rather be rejected because he was himself and because Alec wouldn't want him or even less like him, or didn't have a single interest for him.

It would be painful and it would destroy him by shattering his heart in thousand pieces but still, it would be more acceptable because he would have considered it.

''Let's say you're not ready to hear what I actually want to tell you, let's leave it there. ''

''What did you mean by you should have trust your first impression ?'' asked Alec.

Magnus blinked. _What?_ And then he remembered. Horrified, he looked at Alec who didn't seem the least disturbed by what he had said.. He didn't look angry at all but more curious, and was waiting for an answer.

He hesitated. He perfectly remembered their first encounter and his almost contemptuous indifference he had had for Alec. Magnus would never been so thankful toward his eyes to have made him see beyond what was not obvious and hidden.

By ' _trust his first impression_ ', Magnus had meant that if he had settled for the opinion he had had as soon as his eyes were set on him, he wouldn't have kept looking at him as he had done, wouldn't be attracted as he was to him and he wouldn't have suffered after their dispute.

Nothing more.

But what if that was ruining his chances with Alec?

 _But who told him ?_   he thought with a frown.

''Oh the little bastard, Jace told you ?'' he realized. ''I'm not even surprised !'' he hissed before wincing.

Chairman Meow came to his rescue and jumped on Alec's lap who happily pet him.

''He missed you, '' murmured Magnus carefully avoiding the stare of Alec. ''Look, I...'' he tried to explain.

''I'm not mad,'' cut him off Alec.

Magnus looked up.

''I know very well what people think of me the first time...,'' muttered Alec.

Magnus opened his mouth with the intention to tell him that it was no longer the case and that, it was quite the opposite currently but a particularly bloody scream startled them, and Magnus suddenly turned off the TV in a reflex motion.

''Are you sure you don't want to watch Brokeback Mountain ?'' he asked.

''I said no !''

Magnus smiled and stood up to make dinner, followed by Alec and Chairman Meow who must be hungry.

They cut some peppers under the mewing of the tabby cat that had a full bowl a food yet.

''He's showing off,'' Magnus said.

Alec smiled and continued to chop the vegetables. He had removed his jacket and despite the whiteness of his shirt, it was not transparent and Magnus couldn't have another glimpse of his tattoos to his great misfortune.

Chairman Meow rubbed against Alec's legs gleefully.

''I'd like to tell you that he loves you but he only marks his territory. But he likes you though,'' he said with a grin.

Alec looked down at the cat who meowed.

''How did you get him ?'' he asked.

''A neighbor, her cat had babies and I got him. He was the cutest.''

Alec nodded. ''There're enough peppers?''

''Yes, put them all in the pan. We'll fry the vegetables and cook pasta.''

Magnus poured oil on the vegetables and increased the fire. ''I discovered that I was bisexual when I came here,'' he said lowly before casting a glance behind him.

Alec was there, carefully listening with Chairman Meow in the arms.

''I didn't question myself. There was this man, straight but so handsome...and then, many others.''

''Straight?'' Alec asked uncertainly.

''It happened more often than I would have liked, how can you know ?'' he said in an amused tone and with a shrug.

''It never was an issue ?''

Magnus put spices in the sauce and mixed it with the vegetables. ''An issue ? You mean the eyes of others ?''

Alec moved closer and looked over his shoulder what he was doing. ''No I mean when you were with a girlfriend.''

''Oh...it happened, once or twice I think...But she thought that I cheated on her with a guy which was totally wrong by the way. But it also happened that some, like two or three of my ex-girlfriends, thought that our relationship ended so badly that I was trying to get over it with a man on purpose. They were more vexed than anything else...''

''They knew ?''

''Of course, I never hid it. Once, a man and a woman even fought for me in a club.''

Alec snorted. ''Who won ?''

''I left with somebody else,'' Magnus said with a huge grin.

A huge grin who slightly disappear when he realized to whom he was talking, but Alec didn't seem to mind.

Magnus cleared his throat. ''It's ready, it'll be delicious !''

They began to eat and he looked out for Alec's reaction who was happily eating.

''I won't make my coming out,'' he said firmly. ''It was not expected that you and Izzy know about it.''

Magnus rolled his eyes, that he closed and took a deep breath, annoyed.

''It's not so complicated: you're gay. ''

''I don't have to brag about it.''

''Why are you so stubborn?''

''Why do you care ?''

Magnus gritted his teeth, dying to tell him everything and to ruin everything, and he grabbed his glass of wine with a sudden gesture.

''And what are you going to do? Go out with a girl ?''

Either he hid forever and stayed forever alone, either he could pretend...and Magnus didn't want any of these two options for him.

''I'm not so cruel, '' said Alec in a wounded tone. ''I'll do nothing...except waiting to be reincarnated,'' he muttered to himself.

It was an other option which made Magnus chuckle. ''What will I do with you Alexander ? '' he whispered tenderly.

*

Magnus exuded happiness, Alec was here at his party and there was no Jace. What could be better? Actually, he felt a little guilty for his unfair behavior and for having been mean to him but it more than made up for those many times when he had made his parties gone out of control.

Alec was hiding as usual and Catarina had also begun to observe, like a predator watching her prey.

''It's Magnus who has to look at him this way,'' joked Ragnor.

''I don't look at him like that,'' Magnus protested.

''How do you look at him then?'' he teased.

''Not like this.''

He was with his sister, and from where he was Magnus saw Clary going toward him.

''You're not mad at him ?''

Catarina frowned whereas Ragnor threw at her a jaded look. ''Why would we be mad at him ?'' she asked. ''We should ?''

''No, of course not !'' Magnus hastened to say. ''Besides, it was my fault.''

''And we still don't know why it was your fault,'' Catarina retorted.

''He's a grown-up and has secrets,'' stated Ragnor with a sigh. ''Even if we doubt you really are sometimes...''

''At least Alec is more mature...he's still into his someone ?'' asked Catarina.

''And when are you going to finally be together?'' asked Ragnor.

Magnus winced, he didn't want to answer, couldn't answer either and ended up doing what Alec usually did : running away. But he didn't go far.

''Where's Jace ?'' asked Clary after having stopped him in his escape.

Magnus blinked, looked at Alec and shrugged. ''This rat is fine where he is !''

Alec's eyes narrowed. ''What did he do ?''

''Apart from his dispute with Clary, he did nothing,'' commented Izzy staring at Magnus with a raised eyebrow.

Her piercing gaze made him uneasy and Magnus carefully avoided her eye.

''Love makes you really stupid,'' she blurted out mockingly.

Magnus opened his mouth but no sound came out.

 _Love ?_ Until now, he didn't dare to name what he felt for Alexander but it felt right to use this word but also too soon, too strong and it made him more vulnerable.

''Jace will always be more stupid than me,'' he retorted.

Izzy's eyes narrowed. ''Seriously Magnus?'' she whispered. ''You act like an idiot ! Pull yourself together !''

''Is there a problem ?'' asked Clary.

Magnus didn't want to be an idiot and he realized with relief that no one had listened to his exchange with Izzy.

He carefully avoided Alec's gaze and rolled his eyes. ''No, tell Jace he's no longer banned !'' he growled with a hand movement.

Under their puzzled looks, he walked away, feeling mixed emotions.

What if Alec didn't want him because of Jace?

In his mind, Magnus wanted to do everything to get him to accept him and to try with him. He knew that Alec didn't love him and that he couldn't control his feelings but he could make them change. He just had to be patient.

Maybe he was going astray in his illusions, thinking he had a chance, it wouldn't be the first time but he wanted that chance, as much as he wanted Alexander.

Magnus couldn't remember if he had ever developed such a strong interest in someone and if he had already remained so passive before. He could have put that on his romantic side but it wasn't. Alec made him sink deeper in something too blurry and it was what had frightened and prevented him to make his move.

A hand grabbed his forearm and shook him a little.

''Magnus ?''

The latter blinked and smiled at Clary who was frowning.

''What's wrong ?'' she asked.

''Introspection, what is it ?''

They were near the entrance and the doorbell rang. There was only one person to ring this way.

''Jace,'' he simply said and deeply sighed while Clary froze.

''I'll join back the others,'' she hastened to declare.

''You're free to go wherever you want, even to hide from him.''

Clary blinked. ''What about Alec ?'' she retorted boldly with a raised eyebrow.

''Shoo,'' Magnus said with a hand gesture. ''We're even.''

Once she left, he opened the door and earned the surprised look of Jace who probably expected someone else to open. They stared at each other and Magnus casually let him enter.

''No more mood swing ?'' finally asked Jace with a smirk.

''You were annoying and more than usual.''

''Yeah,'' snorted Jace. ''Whatever.''

He looked around, searching for his people.

''Clary is terribly mad at you,'' Magnus said in an amused tone.

Jace narrowed his eyes and wanted to ask something but he seemed to remember to whom he was talking.

''You made up with Alec.''

''Yes.''

''Then, me too I'll make up with her and by the way, it's your fault if we argued with each other.''

''Really ?''

''Yeah and you don't seem to care.''

''Because I don't.''

Jace stared at him with his golden eyes. ''I understand that at this time you were angry about Alec and that you took it off on me, but usually you say it whenever there's something wrong. You always did, so back then, I really felt like a collateral damage of something that went wrong in your life.''

Magnus plunged his yellow-green eyes in his. ''Clary is with Catarina and Ragnor,'' he simply said.

Perhaps, Jace was even more mature than him, at least sometimes.  


''Where's Simon?'' suddenly asked Clary with frown.

''He's here? I didn't see him,'' answered Izzy. ''He must be with Alec somewhere then.''

Magnus knew where they were but didn't say a word.

Clary and Jace exchanged smiles and looks that made him roll his eyes and he met Izzy's stare.

''Where's Alec?'' she asked teasingly.

''I'll go and bring them,'' said Catarina. ''Socializing is good for morale.''

She came back with them and smiled brightly at each of them who looked reluctantly at the crowd surrounding them.

''Fortunately Magnus is here to get you out of your closet,'' joked Ragnor when they arrived.

Alec was staring at Jace and Clary, as Simon.

Magnus snorted. ''Which one?'' he asked sarcastically.

And Alec finally looked at him.

Catarina's eyes widened and she looked Magnus the way she did when he was going too far. She seemed to have finally understood the reason for their dispute and Magnus refused to meet her eye. Izzy narrowed hers and looked at him with exasperation, while Alec gritted his teeth and glared at him.

No wonder, he left as soon as he had come.

''Magnus !'' whispered Catarina.

''I know, I'm dumber than Jace,'' he said in the same tone.

Later, when he looked for Alec, he saw him with Jace and smiled. He couldn't think straight anymore and it gnawed him with bitterness and guilt of being unable to put things in perspective. And Alec was mature and nice enough  to not send him away when he approached with a red juice glass that he carefully examined.

''Jace's blood,'' Magnus joked. ''It's drinkable!''

Alec stared at him. ''What did he do to you ?''

Magnus comically twisted his mouth. ''Not much,'' he admitted. ''But I have my reasons !''

Childish ones taking over his thinking ability.

Alec gave him a skeptical glance and took the glass, Magnus smiled and looked at his guests. While their shoulders one against the other and Magnus comfortably leaned against the wall, enjoying Alec's heat and their proximity.

''I think your sister likes Simon and a lot,'' he said while seeing them dancing.

Izzy clearly led the dance and was blinded the glasses boy with her dazzling smiles and sexy moves.

 _It'll soon be mutual,_ he thought.

Hearing no response from Alec, Magnus turned his head toward him and wondered if he had heard. He leaned his face toward his but Alec also moved at the same time, turning his head and slightly raised his face closer to hear better. And it was the collision.

Their lips touched. Alec's ones were on his chin and his lower lip whereas he had his on his upper lip and the space between his mouth and his nose. Magnus had literally frozen and was not moving at all.

Even if Alec seemed more surprised than he was, he was the first one to react and pulled away.

''Sorry,'' he whispered, carefully avoiding to look at him straight in the eyes, as if it was his fault.

And he went away while Magnus still didn't react.

It was an accident and meant nothing. That was the problem. Their first kiss -because it had been one- was a dumb accident. Even if he wasn't moving and looked calm, a storm was roaring inside of him. His heart was beating too fast that it threatened to explode and his blood boiled in his veins.

Magnus had already wondered what it would be like to kiss Alec without really imagining it. And he would never have imagined that it would be done this way. He wanted it to be special and better done obviously. Especially when Alec had no experience in the matter.

Izzy had finally spit it out, completely drunk, under his untimely questions that Magnus had asked her.

Magnus would have wanted it to be special and better done. And it wasn't too late to make up for it, maybe it was time to go for it.

He worked up his courage, grabbed a glass, took only one sip and went into the kitchen, by chance. But he always knew where to find Alec, as if he had a sixth sense.

The latter looked pretty confused, against the fridge and seemed to be waiting for something. Magnus put down his glass on the table and approached him with a determined walk.

He came very close, too close perhaps but he didn't want him to leave. He took carefully Alec's face into his hands, as if he was fragile and that his face would break into a thousand pieces, and kissed him softly and gently.

Clearly, Alec didn't expect any of this and didn't react. They stared at each other, eyes into eyes, and Alec didn't push him back.

Magnus took advantage of his lack of reactions. At first, it was a simple kiss, just lips pressing against his. Then, there were many others, longer, more passionate and more languid which demanded more action and more control.

''Let's tell our first kiss was this one and not the silly accident before, it was nothing, nothing at all. What do you think ?'' Magnus murmured between two kisses.

Alec, still frozen, seemed flabbergasted that he had dared to kiss him and a lot.

''I...I don't know, I can't think straight...you're confusing me,'' he managed to say against Magnus' mouth.

Magnus smiled, wondering if he had understood his intentions toward him or if he had to be more direct.

''I'll make you out of your closet Alexander,'' he promised, kissing him one last time.

This way, Alec could seriously consider him as a potential boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next part...I don't know when, just wait !  
> Part 2: it'll cover chap 5 to 8  
> Part 3: chap 9 to 12  
> Part 4: chap 13 to 16 + an other bonus about their life together in more details !
> 
> P.S.: If you want me to write something in details -as I won't rewrite everything- feel free to ask ! :)


	18. TME: part 2 [5 to 8]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with part 2 ! :)  
> Still unbetaed so sorry for the obvious mistakes ! 
> 
> For those who feel lost when they read -as it can be unclear sometimes- I put two stars between the chapters to separate them ! :)

Magnus didn't want to consider the possibility of being rejected. Even if Alec didn't like him and would never love him, he was too happy to have been able to kiss him. He could still feel the sensation of his lips on his.

It had been a rather aggressive way to communicate and share his feelings but now things could change for the better as for the worse, and Magnus would do everything to make it at his advantage.

Alec hadn't pushed him back and he didn't know if he had taken his desires for reality, but it had seemed to him that he had been responsive, even though he was too engrossed by what he was doing to notice it back then, and was pretty confused about it now.

He seriously began to fear that he had gone too far after noticing Alec's muteness.

They were still in the kitchen, against the fridge, but were no longer kissing -or rather Magnus had stopped kissing him to catch his breath-. Alec was literally paralyzed and visibly wondered what had happened. Magnus stroked his cheek and gently bumped his nose against his, making him blink, before moving backwards.

Alec was as red as a lobster and the glitter on his face softly shimmered.

Magnus had to get a grip on himself in order to not kiss him again and before he had the time to say anything, Alec left the kitchen, almost awkwardly and confused. So, he followed him, beginning to feel uneasy and waiting to talk to him as soon as he would look less lost in his thoughts.

Alec didn't look traumatized and it comforted him a lot.

 _Well done,_ he bitterly congratulated himself. His impatience had ruined everything again.

They mingled with the others who hadn't noticed their absence much to his relief, and although the glitter on Alec's face betrayed the proximity in which they had been a few moments before.

It was when he saw Izzy talk to him and Catarina stare at the glitter on Alec's face, and her eyes which immediately converged on him that Magnus decided to break the safety distance he had tried to keep between him and Alec.

''Are you okay Alec ? You're all red and you have glitter on your mouth, '' Izzy noticed with a frown and her eyes went on Magnus who did his best to not roll his eyes.

Why everyone suspected him ? They were right but still.

''He's in shock,'' he clarified with a grin before taking him by the arm. ''We need to talk,'' he whispered in Alec's ear.

At least, _he_ had to speak and explain his mouth attack.

Alec slightly froze but followed him and Magnus dropped his arm, to leave him enough space. They went out on the balcony and Magnus closed the door to give them some privacy. Through the window, he could see Catarina and Izzy staring at them and made them a sign to look elsewhere. When his gaze focused again on Alec, the latter was staring at the void with interest. He clearly gave him the impression of wanting to jump.

''Don't,'' Magnus muttered with amusement. ''I'm beginning to know you quite well Alexander and I congratulate myself for that. You're less and less a mystery for me... By the way, I'm surprised that you're still here and didn't run away, not that you didn't want it...''

Maybe he was dying for it but Magnus was grateful to him for not having ran away and rejected him. At least, not yet... At this thought, his heart sank and anxiety seized him to weigh his whole being down.

Seeing his discomfort, Magnus smiled to soothe him and wondering by what he could begin with but against all odds, Alec spoke first.

''Why did you kiss me ?''

His question was direct, firm but incredulous. It was better this way, all in all.

Magnus gently smiled. ''Why would I have kissed you ?''

Alec looked pretty confused and had this expression whenever he was wondering if Magnus was making fun of him.

''I'm not making fun of you,'' he firmly clarified.

Alec stared at him with narrowed eyes and Magnus wondered if he had understood what he had implied, knowing him maybe not.

''But why, we're so different, almost incompatible,'' he finally said as if he couldn't believe it.

Magnus flinched. They were obviously different, it was true but _incompatible ?_ It was a bit strong and inappropriate. He sincerely believed in their compatibility and that beings with contradictory differences could complete each other. He wanted to believe in this.

He arched an eyebrow. ''I think you and I suit each other,'' he confessed, watching out for his reaction and trying to control the beating of his heart that threatened to explode at any moment.

Alec was strangely quiet, looking puzzled by what he had just heard. He seemed to consider what had never crossed his mind. His face immersed in an intense reflection made appear a slight smile on Magnus' lips, who then noticed that Alec still hadn't rejected him.

''Don't you want to know since when I'm interested in you ?'' he suddenly asked, making him get out of his train of thoughts

Alec blinked and flushed. ''Not since our first meeting, that's for sure,'' he whispered.

Magnus smirked, perfectly remembering their first meeting. Who would have than he would have been head over this same person ?

''No, it's true. It just goes to show that nothing's impossible,'' he marveled.

They stared at each other almost shyly. It wasn't awkward between them and Magnus sincerely began to hope that it'll be possible between them and that Alec would consider it and give it a try.

Until Ragnor ruined everything by sliding the glass door of the balcony, earning the bewildered gaze of Magnus. And Alec took the opportunity to clear off, more embarrassed than he looked like.

But his friend didn't notice anything. ''I was looking for you, you wouldn't have...,'' he began to say before realizing what he had just done and that it could explain why Magnus was currently glaring at him. ''Did I interrupt something ?'' he asked with a small voice.

''What do you think ?'' Magnus grumpily retorted.

''I'm sorry.''

Magnus sighed and lamented on himself wondering when Heaven would be kind enough to give him what he wanted. A cold feeling suddenly came over him and he stopped staring into the void. He jumped when he heard Ragnor's yelp of pain and turned around.

Catarina hit Ragnor's arm a second time. ''I told you to wait !''

''I didn't see Alec,'' he defended himself while massaging his wounded arm and Magnus felt a guilty pleasure. ''I thought he was alone,'' he mumbled, casting a sheepish look at him.

Magnus huffed and crossed his arms, grumpily. Catarina winced and cleared her throat.

''If you want to be forgiven go get us some drinks,'' she demanded before pushing him inside.

Ragnor rolled his eyes but did what she told him.

Magnus stared at Catarina without saying nothing, and let himself being observed. She finally moved closer and deeply sighed.

''Magnus...,'' she said. ''Your joke earlier was...''

''I know,'' he cut her off. ''And it wasn't a joke, a joke is supposed to be funny,'' he mumbled.

''You won't make him accept himself this way,'' she whispered. ''Right ? He's into boys but he's still in the closet ?''

Magnus nodded.

''That's why you had a fight?''

''Yes.''

''And given your behavior with Jace, he's the guy Alec is into ?''

Magnus grunted and looked up at her worried face.

''Magnus,'' she sighed, putting a comforting hand on his arm.

Against all odds, she made no comment on the fact that he was bogged into a complicated situation, and into the wrong person. Catarina stood beside him without saying anything and rubbed his arm, trying to comfort him. Magnus was grateful.

''We kissed,'' he suddenly blurted out while giving her a sideways glance.

Her eyes widened. She clearly wondered how things had become this way.

''What do you mean?'' she asked with confusion. ''He likes you too ? He'll accept himself ?'' she added with a frown.

Magnus blinked, perhaps he had to clarify what really happened. ''It was an accident at first and then...I kissed him, in the kitchen, and a lot,'' he sheepishly said.

''He was consenting ?'' she asked.

''He didn't reject me,'' protested Magnus. ''We were talking about that when Ragnor interrupted us...''

''And what did he say ?''

''Nothing, I was the one to talk and I told him that I was interested in him...''

''And ?'' she asked with hope.

''And Ragnor ruined everything,'' he grumbled.

''I said I was sorry,'' said the latter while going on the balcony with bottles of beer in his hands.

''They kissed,'' Catarina said to him. ''Magnus kissed him,'' she corrected.

Ragnor blinked. ''You must have traumatized him, given the fact that he ran away.''

Magnus glared at him and thought again about what had happened, cursing at himself. He was happy to know that Alec was now aware of his attraction to him, but he hadn't really wanted things this way. The ideal would have been Alec willing to be kissed by him instead of putting up with them.

He began to feel bad but hoped to have triggered something in him that would push him to accept him.

''It's complicated,'' stated Ragnor with a frown, staring at him with worry, after Catarina had summed him up the situation.

Magnus nodded, it was the right word.

*

Lying in bed, Magnus read Jocelyne's text about the painting she had just finished that he could get in a few days.

He sighed and looked at the ceiling, blankly.

Alec had told him that he needed time to think over them, his life and everything. Magnus read his messages and in particular the one which said that he would come to get more information and to tell him what he thought about the whole thing. Magnus slightly smiled, so serious for such a trivial thing that most people didn't think or consider the same way. He couldn't help but feel reassured that he was considering every eventuality. It was what he wanted but it wouldn't prevent him from being pushed away.

He gulped and his frown deepened, he didn't want to be rejected but he couldn't control Alec's heart and feelings either. Sadly.

But he could make them change, provided that Alec would agree and consider this change.

Reassured, Magnus got up to make a cup of tea and wondered how long his optimism would last as his emotions could change dramatically. Alexander shook everything up, especially his confidence in a curious way.

Alec was different and made him different.

*

He was ready for all eventualities and he knew a lot about break-up or uncertain relationships. Magnus considered having the advantage, and fortunately for him, given the state of his heart at the sight of the one he wanted more than anything else.

Alec was pale, paler than usual and looked tired, besides looking incredibly awkward. Something quite normal for someone who wasn't used of being desired. He was in an unknown situation and seemed deeply perplexed about the progress of the discussion.

Either he would reject him because of his repressed homosexuality or his lack of interest in his person. Magnus, however, hoped for a third option : the one which would make him happy, but he didn't really believe in it and hoped to be able to react with maturity and to make him change his mind.

He had never been so nervous and yet it didn't prevent him to smile with confidence.

''You can come in,'' he said with amusement.

Alec winced as if he didn't want to enter in an enemy territory.

''I won't kiss you,'' he added, watching out for his reaction.

Alec blinked and stared at him before blushing, and averted his eyes. Magnus' smile widened and he closed the door before taking him to the couch. He had to admit that it was slightly awkward between them, but only because of the young man's discomfort who apparently really wanted this ordeal to end quickly, as evidenced by the frequent looks he threw at his watch. An expensive thing that he hastened to hide under the sleeve of his sweater.

He seemed afraid to be late for work, it was still early but Magnus had understood that he had his morning free. Maybe he had misunderstood.

Chairman Meow arrived suddenly in the living room and threw himself on Alec against which he rubbed briskly before settling on his lap. Magnus too wanted to do that and wondered how it would be if he was a cat.

''What were you expecting ?'' Alec finally asked not daring to look at him.

He was skeptical and didn't seem to understand what he had in mind nor why.

Magnus tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, he thought that his intentions had been clear. ''What do you think ?''

Alec looked up, hesitantly. It was hard for him to believe it and Magnus began to curse his unconfidence which destroyed everything.

''That's why you asked me about Jace ? And that you're insisting so much about...my coming out ?''

Magnus opened the mouth with a frown, as it sounded selfish and bossy but he realized that it was true actually, and felt slightly ashamed. Alec's father was homophobic and yet, he still insisted despite knowing his circumstances. Besides, Alec certainly had wanted to keep his feelings for Jace hidden and Magnus didn't care about that. He had been unconsidered.

Even if it was only nine in the morning, he filled a glass of wine.

''For you ?''

There was no accusation in those two words but Magnus took the hit. He wanted Alexander to throw everything he had built and under what he was hiding for him. It was a little sad almost disturbing but that reflected the intensity of the feelings he had for him.

And because he had asked this so innocently, Magnus got annoyed by his unconfidence and couldn't help himself to be sarcastic.

''Seems that you have given much thought to it, Alexander.''

He couldn't wait anymore for a yes or a no, nervousness had consumed the tips of his fingers which were now cold.

''Are you telling me that you're not interested in me?'' Magnus asked in a low voice, leaning against a piece of furniture.

He had heard somewhere that someone shouldn't use a negative question as a first question, upon pain of receive a negative answer. He hastened to carry his glass to his lips, his eyes fixed on Alec who didn't know where to look.

Minutes went by and his heart became more and more heavy as his mind was in turmoil. And Alec still hadn't answered.

Magnus wasn't patient and when he was nervous or anxious he could get easily annoyed. He gritted teeth in front of his indecision, if he had to rejected Alec could do it now instead of making the wait harmful.

''Then... why did you kiss me back ?''

He still didn't know if he did but just wanted a reaction. And it worked.

Alec froze and looked up at him. ''I didn't !''

''You did, you kissed me back !'' Magnus insisted under the bewildered look of Alec who was now standing.

''I did not kiss you back !'' he mouthed, panicking.

But he didn't sound so sure of himself and Magnus felt a malicious delight to shake him.

Magnus stared at him, he was scared. But why at the mere thought of having kissed him back ? It was just a kiss, at worst, nothing more. He coldly smirked and came closer. He would have rather be rejected because Alec didn't like him and would never ever love him and not under the pretext that he didn't really admit to be gay, but he currently was rejected just because the latter was afraid...Magnus couldn't accept that.

''You're trying to reject me only because you're scared.''

Alec didn't deny, said nothing, and seemed ensnared. Magnus then began to hope that it was possible between them. But why everything had to be so complicated?

''Stop making that face !'' Alec suddenly hissed on an aggressive tone. ''You're always making that face...''

Magnus blinked and frowned. ''What face ?''

And yet, he knew what kind of face he had. He couldn't help himself.

''The one with your contempt...I hate it when you do that !''

Magnus raised his eyebrows and his contemptuous expression deepened while wondering if they have to play the game _tell the flaws about the other,_ he was sure to win and hands down.

''You don't like it ?'' he hissed. ''I don't like it too when you're making that face, when you're wondering if people are laughing at you ! I'm not making fun of you!''

It was seriously getting on his nerve seeing all this lack of self confidence in one human being. For him, it was unnatural and almost against nature, besides it ruined Alec.

''I always feel that you're making fun of me with your comments and the way you're looking at me sometimes...Everything seems to be a joke for you ! You're always flirting, laughing as if...''

Magnus' eyes widened, he couldn't believe his ears. He had behaved like a normal lovesick person and had tried to get noticed, not in the right way sometimes, he recognized it. And combined to Alec's personality and his confidence, below zero, it gave _that_.

''So what ?'' yelled Magnus. ''I'm flirting with you because I'm attracted to you !'' he explained.

Alec blushed. ''You're selfish, you don't care about what I want and what I think as long as everything is going your way.''

Magnus huffed, he could be selfish and had been concerning Jace and his coming-out but not only for the interest he had in him. He emptied his glass in one gulp while wondering why he was still running after him, but he already knew the answer.

''You're scared and you're a coward Alexander, even I wonder why the hell I'm interested in you ! And yet, I want to try !''

Alec flinched. ''I don't !'' he weakly protested. ''We're too different and we have different values. And, I told you I can't be... Magnus, why would I give up what's right for me ? Are you even worth it ?'' 

Right, they were different, Alec despite his sexual orientation, which didn't please his parents, hadn't had been rejected, he had a stable life and was the heir of his father's business. He had a secure position so why spoil it all for him ? For the first man who declared his interest in him ? And especially for Magnus ?

 _I'm worth it,_ he wanted to say with confidence but was it true ? Could he certified it ? He frowned as he realized that Alec wasn't wrong.

''If you really care about me and if you were really interested in me, you would accept me as I am,'' whispered the latter in a painful tone before wincing.

Magnus regained his composure. ''You mean closeted ?'' he asked coldly, before realizing that he might have considered the possibility of being together.

Then he realized that it was better than nothing. Although Magnus didn't want that. Stay hidden and pretend that they were nothing in front of everyone else put him off and deeply. That would mean not existing, being denied from time to time in front of the family, some friends, and suffering just because he wanted to be with someone who didn't accept his sexuality.

Or rather, he didn't accept himself because his parents didn't.

Magnus had never hated people he had never met so much.

He was ready to consider this possibility and just for him. And he had to admit that it had been selfish of him for wanting Alec to accept himself only to consider him. Everything wasn't as simple as Magnus wanted to believe.

In fact, everything was complicated since he had begun to desire Alexander.

He sighed and closed his eyes for a split second, when he opened them, he noticed with dismay Clary behind Alec. She looked as startled as him to be there, between the entrance and the living room. Magnus looked again at Alec, hoping that he hadn't noticed her yet, but it was too late. Alec turned around with a frown and Clary couldn't act as if nothing had happened. Her mere presence condemned her.

''Since when are you here ?'' Magnus abruptly asked her who didn't know where to look and go.

He cast a quick glance at Alec who was livid. Even though, she had heard something, it wasn't death, he thought. Clary wouldn't judge him, nobody would among their circle. Magnus didn't really understand why he was hidding his homosexuality from them.

''I'm sorry,'' she murmured, carefully avoiding looking at Alec.

So she had heard everything.

''Mom asked me to bring you her paint so...,'' she added sheepishly.

Magnus gazed at Alec with concern and stepped forward, making him stepped back.

 _Here we go again,_ he thought bitterly. The cat and mouse game resumed.

''Everything is going wrong since I met you,'' Alec simply stated with a glare.

Magnus felt a sharp pain inside his chest and tried to justify having messed everything up in order to go out together, not only by selfishness but also for him. But Alec turned and strode toward the entrance to go out from the apartment as quickly as possible without looking at them.

''I'm so sorry Magnus, I swear I...,'' stuttered Clary watching him go. ''Alec...''

''It's not your fault,'' Magnus muttered after hearing the door slamming, and he heaved a sigh, trying to ignore the noose tightening around his heart. ''Wine ?'' he suggested while serving himself again.

He emptied it in one gulp.

''It's ten in the morning,'' she said with a small voice while finally daring to move closer.

Magnus shrugged and poured himself an other glass. ''You heard everything?'' he asked, straining his ears to hear her answer, as he turned his back.

''I didn't mean to...I'll put the panting here,'' she said while dropping it against the couch before reaching down to stroke Chairman Meow.

''Don't say a word to anyone, especially not Catarina,'' he mumbled before taking a sip at his drink and looking at it.

Clary straightened up, looking puzzled. ''I won't, it's none of my business.''

She obviously wanted to know more but didn't ask anything, Magnus slightly smiled and took the painting.

''Thank your mother on my behalf.''

Clary nodded and gave him a hesitant look. ''He won't come to your next party? ''

Magnus stared at her. ''No, he needs to cogitate a bit. He had to assimilate a lot of things lately...and I didn't always say them the right way, I'd like to have a book : _How to tame an Alexander_.'' Although it was an unique specimen and a particularly tough one. Clary awkwardly smiled, still uneasy about the whole thing.

''How is it going between you and Jace ?'' he asked giving her a side glance.

He couldn't wait for them to be together: this way Alec would quickly forget Jace to be fully his. Maybe it could give them a boost.

''We're friends,'' she hastened to say.

''For how much longer?'' he teased

She didn't answer and changed the subject by talking about her mother, and helped him unwrap the painting.

And Magnus then wondered how long he would have to wait for Alexander because obviously make things happen wasn't always the right method.

*

Magnus withdrew into silence, refusing to say anything to the others about Alec's absence. Even Izzy and Jace knew nothing, like the first time.

Clary held her tongue and said nothing, even though Catarina asked her casually if she knew something. But that didn't stop her from occasionally staring at Magnus thoughtfully.

Jace and her became closer and closer to his delight and to Simon's greatest misfortune who wasn't fond of the latter. A reminder of what benefited some could hurt others, thought Magnus with a bitter smile. But what was the point, there had been a split between him and Alexander.

Magnus felt that he had been to impulsive, had rushed Alec needlessly, had been rough and felt guilty for not having taken the time to worry about his feelings the whole time.

But it was too late. He had ruined everything.

He had thought of sending him a text but was scared to be too clingy and because he didn't really know what to say. He didn't want to apologize about his intentions but more about how he had done them.

He couldn't stop thinking about his _'if you really care about me and if you were really interested in me, you would accept me as I am.'_ The worst was that he was right.

Magnus was willing actually but in what would he involve himself ? It would be unbearable to see his own existence denied in front of his family... He didn't want that but then again, it seemed like the only solution. Alec was a family person and despite his parents's position concerning his sexual orientation, he still had them.

He had seemed scared the other day, especially when Magnus had told him that he had kissed him back. As if he had given in to something forbidden, and it was forbidden for him. _But it didn't prevent him to stupidly love Jace_ , huffed inwardly Magnus before glaring at the blond boy.

Alec seemed scared to lose his parents but he was clearly losing himself by denying what he was. And for the said parents.

However, he didn't clearly reject him. He hadn't said yes but he hadn't said no either.

Alec was the most confusing and frustrating person, Magnus had ever met. And this young man, who had the self-confidence of a turtle, managed to confuse him even more and not knowingly.

It was maybe for this reason that Magnus was head over heels for him.

He drank his glass in one gulp and walked to the drinks table where Simon pondered.

''Drink,'' he said, handing him a glass of tequila.

''Drown one's sorrows in alcohol isn't a solution,'' groused the glasses-boy, but he accepted the glass that he quickly emptied.

Magnus also took one that he hastened to refill.

''I saw Alec the other day, '' Simon nonchalantly said.

Magnus looked up. ''And ?''

''And it was Alec,'' he answered in an obvious tone.

Magnus rolled his eyes and his stare became more insisting.

''He'll come to my concert and he's doing fine.''

''He'll come ?''

''Yeah.''

''I'll come too then,'' Magnus hastened to say.

Simon blinked and narrowed an eye. ''Didn't you say last time that you were not interested like not interested at all ?''

''I'm still not interested,'' Magnus replied while walking away.

He'll go but only for Alexander.

Magnus spent the evening to avoid Catarina who didn't understand his relationship with Alec and looked at him as if he was drunk when he told her that they were playing the cat and mouse game.

The mouse was a bit too fearful and shy but the cat was too impatient and hungry.

*

Magnus wondered if Alec would come if he learned that he also would be there. Izzy had said yes and seemed to know about their kiss. He couldn't imagine Alec confessing everything and suspected her of having harassed him to get the precious information that no one wanted to give her.

He stared at Alec more lengthily than necessary as if it was the first time he saw him, he felt that it had been an eternity since they had seen each other, whereas in fact, it had only been a few weeks.

Izzy patted her brother's arm in a gesture that was meant to be comforting.

It was awkward, and the tension was palpable. Clary looked uneasy, Catarina threw at them an exasperated eye and Ragnor smiled uneasily, whereas Alec looked sullen under the weight of their looks.

''I don't know what happened between you two,'' Ragnor said. ''But please don't fight.''

''I don't want to hit Alexander,'' smirked Magnus. ''But maybe he does.''

He seriously hope that he didn't.

''I don't,'' protested the latter with a frown, sitting at a table.

He looked like a reluctant child and Magnus couldn't help smiling. He was way too happy to see him. After getting their drinks, he sat down next to him and gave him a glass of orange juice. Alec looked at his glass and stared up at him before looking away, which made Ragnor's smile widened.

The concert started, Magnus didn't know since when, as he was too busy to look at Alec who was doing his best to ignore him. He sighed inwardly wondering when they could finally talk to finish their conversation which had been again interrupted.

The looks that everyone threw at them absolutely didn't help at all and Magnus could feel Alec's discomfort growing. He hated to draw attention and seemed on the verge of panic. He almost looked ill.

Worried, Magnus was about to ask him if he felt good when the latter suddenly got up after whispering something to his sister. Izzy frowned, ready to follow him but he reassured her.

''I'll be fine.''

Magnus and her followed him with the eyes, looking puzzled. Before Ragnor had the time to ask what was going on, Magnus got up, fearing that Alec would take the opportunity to run away.

Teeth clenched, he nimbly made his way to the outside through the crowd without looking at the others. It was hard to believe that Simon's band was so popular.

He quickened his pace and bumped into someone, or rather that someone bumped into him, and he automatically grabbed his arm when he recognized Alec. Surprised, he blinked.

''I thought you had decided to run away,'' he murmured before dropping his arm.

 _I'm glad you didn't,_ he thought, hoping that they could seriously speak.

''I wanted to,'' Alec admitted keeping his eyes lowered.

Magnus who wanted to see his eyes, gently made him lift his head. Alec looked incredibly embarrassed, and Magnus began to feel this way too.

''Let's talk Alexander,'' he muttered. ''I don't really care about Simon, not that his band is bad but it's not my style, and I came only for you. Simon told me you'd come...and Izzy too.''

Alec didn't look away and cleared his throat. ''Where?''

Magnus felt a wave of relief calm his whole body, he could finally tell him that he was ready to accept him as he was.

''We could lock ourselves in the toilet as you like to hide, and I'm not against the idea to hide with you, but we could get out and go somewhere else, what do you think ?''

''Somewhere else.''

''Good choice.'' he seriously said.

A shy smile appeared on Alec's lips and Magnus fondly smiled at him. He felt light and incredibly happy now, whereas nothing was done yet.

They didn't go far but it was far enough to not be bothered by Clary and Ragnor, for example. Magnus didn't want to be interrupted once again, he wouldn't support it as it would be decisive for the both of them concerning their relationship.

Behind his peaceful mask, Magnus was incredibly nervous. He based his hopes on the _'what if I want to accept you as you are?'_ Alec had made him understand that in this case it would be possible between them, he had understood it this way and hoped to not be mistaken, upon pain of breaking his own heart.

Resigned, Alec sat down at a table, stuck against a wall and watched him sat down with hesitant, shy and curious eyes of his. Magnus stared at him more lengthily than he should have and a waiter came to take their order. Alec took a coffee and Magnus a tea.

They didn't speak, waiting for their orders to arrive in order to, in case of an extremely embarrassing situation, throw themselves on their cup as a last escape before resuming their composure.

They had some similarities though, noted Magnus with amusement.

The waiter arrived and put their orders in front of them, smiled and left. Magnus cleared his throat and straightened up on his chair, before looking at Alec straight in the eyes.

''I'm amazingly patient with you,'' he confessed. ''I usually want to solve the problem right away, all the time, but when I'm with you...everything is going wrong. I don't know how to deal with it, and I behave like a jerk.''

Alec nodded and stirred his coffee in a daze, lost in his thoughts. Magnus would give anything to know what was going on in his handsome head.

''Did I really kiss you back ?'' he asked hesitantly.

Magnus blinked, he didn't really know. ''Yes, I can show you how,'' he joked before his expression became serious. He had to talk about the heart of the matter, the one that gave him hope and that could make his future strangely brighter. ''What if...I was willing to accept you as you are? '' he asked quietly.

It was the only question Magnus had wanted to ask before noticing Clary's presence at his place. They resumed the conversation where they had left it, more quietly as water had flowed under the bridge.

They just needed to take their time. Alec needed time, he wasn't slow but was someone who didn't act on a whim and always thought before making a decision. Magnus had stressed him out with his sudden interest and his impatience which had certainly disoriented and confused him.

''Does it change something or you don't like me at all ?'' he asked, seeing that he wasn't answering.

He should have just wait and felt sorry for an umpteenth time about his bossy side and his eagerness.

''I...I don't know.''

It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either.

Magnus looked at him more carefully. He wasn't satisfied with this answer, because it would mean to wait Alec to decide and ran the risk to hear a clear no. He didn't want that.

Obviously, Alec was indecisive and didn't know what he wanted, as if he didn't dare to know what he wanted, trying to not want anything. Magnus sincerely wondered what made him this way.

In this case, someone had to decide for him. Magnus could take advantage of his indecision and turn things to his advantage. He wanted Alec and would do anything for that, including to gently manipulate and influence him in his direction.

Loving was wanting and when Magnus loved something or someone, he always got what he wanted.

He moved closer. ''What do you feel right now Alexander ?'' he softly asked.

He had to know in order to know how he could lure or entice him.

Alec blinked and cleared his throat. ''I feel...confused, flattered, confused, perplexed, anxious, confused, scared and curious.''

 _Curious._ It was the only word that caught his intention. All he needed and what he could exploit. He was so close to get there.

''Curious,'' Magnus repeated with a raised eyebrow. ''Do you want to develop that curiosity with me ?'' he asked with a grin.

He honestly had everything to entice him. He could use his appearance and his experience in the matter.

Alec looked uneasy, as if he felt bad for revealing something private. Or maybe he thought he was making fun of him.

''I'm serious,'' Magnus hastened to clarify with a frown. ''With you I'm serious even if I'm flirting and... I care about you even if you had the impression that I bossed you around. I know I can be selfish and self-centered sometimes, that's why I'm sorry Alexander, if I hurt you, I didn't want to I swear.''

It was too early for him to hear the depth of his feelings and it would undoubtedly make him run away.

''I owe you an apology too,'' mumbled Alec with a wince.

''Yeah, you did hurt me,'' Magnus stated with a wry smile, remembering everything he had told him back then. ''It's scary to see how we manage to hurt each other !''

''It's not a good sign.''

Magnus blinked and frowned. ''I beg to differ.''

On the contrary, it was a way to communicate and so far it had made a difference between them. They were able to see the true face of the other now.

''And if it's only curiosity ? Just out of curiosity and nothing else ?'' asked Alec.

Magnus smirked. ''This is a good start and I will be satisfied with it, for now. But honestly, you think that nothing will grow Alexander ? Really ?'' Magnus asked with an elegant wave of his hand.

He'll take advantage of this curiosity and change into something stronger, more stable and more intense. He would do everything in his power to make Alexander forget Jace, his parents and their homophobia, and make him begin to love him.

Alec gave him a puzzled look. ''So... it's enough for a date ?''

Magnus smiled fondly, a spark of amusement in his eyes. Every date didn't begin with a mutual love or love itself.

''You're too pure Alexander, I'll fix it.''

Magnus had already _dirtied_ him with his kisses and sometimes the impure thoughts he had about him. Alec wouldn't come out of this adventure as pure as before.

The latter frowned. ''And if...''

''And if you kiss me ?'' Magnus suggested, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

He couldn't wait to kiss him again. He just had to be patient.

Magnus sighed when he saw his expression. ''I'm serious but as you're wondering if I'm joking or not, I'll say that I'm teasing you... So, want to go on a date with me ? To see if we're made for each other ?''

Alec was about to give in, Magnus could see it in his eyes. He was too curious to Magnus' delight. However, Alexander seemed still undecided, a yes could be read in his eyes but his mouth could say otherwise. He was too reasonable and followed too well his conscience. Magnus had the impression of being the devil who offered him a particularly unhealthy pact.

After noticing his confusion, he brushed his hand.

''You have the right to refuse... I won't blame you, well, maybe a little...but what would it cost you to quit your right path for once ?'' he anxiously asked.

His parents' love ? Magnus seriously doubted that parents who didn't accept the sexual orientation of their own children could sincerely love them.

He was so close of having him.

''Nobody will know.''

Nobody will say anything in fact.

Those were the magic words. Alec looked up and stared at him.

''Just one ?'' he asked to be sure.

Magnus snorted, as if. ''Seriously...I'll make you ask for a second date.''

And he brightly smiled, whereas Alec's worry deepened.

''I'm selfish too,'' muttered the latter to himself.

Magnus blinked. _Selfish ?_ It wasn't selfishness to want to be happy. Magnus couldn't promise him the key to happiness because he didn't own it but everyone could have access to it.

''It's good to be selfish sometimes Alexander,'' he tenderly murmured.

He would show him.

''You're shaking up everything, '' said Alec in a whisper, as if he had just realized it.

''I like to have an effect,'' declared Magnus. ''What about Friday ?''

''Where ?''

''Somewhere, it will be a surprise.''

''So we'll go on a date ? We're...what are we now ?

''We're two amazing persons who want to discover each other.''

''And what will we do ?''

''What people do on a date.''

''Like...''

 _Kissing, I hope_ , Magnus thought.

''Like it will be your first date and I don't want to ruin everything just because you're looking at me this way so I'm not telling you !'' he said.

Alec narrowed his eyes. Magnus smiled and brushed his cheek thoughtfully. He wanted to pull his face against his and kiss him passionately but it was Alec, it was better to not frighten and make the same mistakes.

He took on him and continued to stare at him with a small smile.

It didn't matter that Alexander was closeted and didn't love him the same. It didn't matter if it is one-sided. Magnus wanted him, and wanted to believe that he could get him to accept himself and reciprocated his feelings one day.

Magnus hadn't been this happy for a long time. The void inside him got suddenly filled and he felt strangely full.

They drank their drinks which had considerably cooled down, and Magnus paid under the suspicious gaze of Alec who followed him without saying anything. He did his best to not take his hand or touch him, as he didn't want to oppress or pressure him, knowing that their date would occur in a few days.

With Alec, Magnus had to go slowly and step by step, without burning a single one. He already had seen the consequences and wanted to avoid that to happen again.

''You're going back to the concert?'' finally asked Alec. ''Maybe we won't be able to go back inside.''

Magnus grinned. ''What a pity!'' he exclaimed, falsely distressed which made Alec slightly smile. ''You're still going to try ?''

''Not you ?''

''I came only because you were there, '' Magnus sighed wondering if he had to go if Alec went back.

''So you're coming ?'' he asked uncertainly.

Magnus beamed and stared at him. He began to understand a few things. Magnus couldn't restrain a satisfied and proud smile.

''Yes, as you kindly asked me to,'' he teased.

Alec blushed slightly and lowered his head to hide his embarrassment, and Magnus couldn't help touching his hand.

**

Magnus was doing his best to not seem too happy. He tried to wipe the stupid smile he had on his lips but the more he tried the more it was difficult to not smile.

Catarina rolled her eyes and gave him an annoyed look. ''I understand that you don't want to tell us anything but stop taunting us.''

Ragnor, who returned with a beer, nodded and sat down next to her, earning the annoyed look of Chairman Meow who had to leave the spot on the couch.

Magnus hastened to catch him to hide his face in his fur. He was on a cloud since Alec had accepted a date and he was looking forward to Friday. His grin widened and Chairman Meow gave him a paw to be released.

''Magnus isn't as interesting as the movie,'' sighed Ragnor to Catarina who finally looked at the screen.

It didn't last.

''I want to know,'' she insisted.

''Me too,'' said Ragnor. ''What did you do with Alec ?''

''We made up,'' simply answered Magnus while releasing his cat.

''And ?'' hurried him Catarina. ''There's more than that !''

When he saw their eyes filled with curiosity, Magnus easily gave in to reveal everything as he wanted to share what was making him happy with them. The _nobody will know_ he had promised hadn't been respected since the start as his friends knew more about Alec than the latter thought.

''Alec agreed to go on a date with me,'' he slowly said, watching out for their reaction with a small smile.

They raised their eyebrows.

''Well done,'' simply said Ragnor before watching the TV again.

Catarina frowned. ''He agreed ?''

''Yes.''

''Really ?''

'' Yes, '' he firmly replied.

''You must have been really persuasive.''

''Oh yes.''

She narrowed her eyes. ''He likes you too then ?''

''Not yet.''

''You look happy though.''

''I am, he said yes, he wants to try.''

''Try what ?''

''Me,'' he said in an obvious tone.

Catarina rolled her eyes and moved closer, as to give more impact to her words. ''You won't make him do his coming-out in a snap, you know that, right?''

''He knows,'' chimed in Ragnor.

Magnus nodded. ''I want him to accept himself as he is and me.''

''You want him to accept himself to accept you or because you really care for him?'' asked seriously Ragnor with a raised eyebrow.

''Both,'' answered Magnus lowly. ''Both.''

He would come to it, Alec had agreed to have a date with him so he really believed that he could.

He was so looking forward to see him and kiss him.

*

Magnus was _normally_ dressed for a date and wondered if he should _simply_ dress in order to not frighten Alexander. Knowing him, he would dress as simply as he could without really paying attention to his appearance. As usual.

He smiled just at the mere thought of the latter.

He was so eager to see him that he arrived early at their meeting point. It had been a long time since he felt that way : joy and excitement at the mere idea of a single date.

Passersby stared at him, some longer than others and Magnus wondered with perplexity if someone didn't just take a picture of him.

People could be really inconsiderate sometimes.

He grinned when he noticed a familiar figure in the crowd. Alec clearly slowed down when he finally noticed him, looking intimidated.

''You look frightened !'' joked Magnus.

Not for a moment, he felt guilty for not having respected the _'nobody will know'_. He lengthily stared at him and his smile widened when he noticed that he was right, Alec was dressed as usual in black, although his shirt was a faded black.

Magnus took him to the restaurant where he had his habits. It was perfect for a first date.

''I love this place, I go there often with friends and for work,'' he explained by looking out at him of the corner of his eyes.

Alec nodded an followed him, until Magnus no longer felt his presence at his side. Worried, he turned to see him look at their date's place with a distraught expression. To know that they had arrived, and given the face he was making, he knew this place and didn't seem particularly happy.

''Did you reserved? '' Alec asked in a choked voice.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. ''You always have to make a reservation to eat there, you don't like this place ?''

Obviously, he didn't. Magnus stared at him anxiously, he didn't have a plan B and he began to regret it. He should have known as he had a date with Alec and the latter was quite different from the people he was used to go out with. He should have known, and blamed himself to not have been far-sighted.

''Magnus, can we go somewhere else ?''

The latter frowned slightly.

''Why ? This restaurant is very good,'' he tried to convince him even if he didn't really know why he wasn't very fond of this place.

''My father is a regular,'' Alec blurted out with a frown.

Magnus blinked. He understood way better his reaction. It wasn't the ideal setting for a first date if the homophobic father was out here somewhere.

''Oh...you think he'll be here ?''

''I don't really want to check if he'll be inside.''

Magnus snorted, it could have been interesting, also awkward and scary. ''Neither do I...you have a place where we could go then ?'' he casually asked.

He had purposely ask, to show him that it wouldn't cancel and because he knew and hoped that Alec wouldn't know where they could go as a backup plan.

And he thought that his apartment would be just as well for a date with Alexander.

He smirked, happy to have this idea. ''Let's see it's Friday evening, restaurants are crowded, streets too, so what about my place ?''

Even though, he knew dozen of places where they could go. Magnus hadn't prepared a plan B and all in all, it was better this way.

Against all odds, Alec agreed. Magnus had feared he would refuse because the context was slightly different and that he had lied to have him all to himself, but obviously Alec had believed him about Friday nights. Probably because he wasn't comfortable when there were many people and because he had a date with a man.

''Perfect !'' trumpeted Magnus with a wide grin.

*

It was a good idea, tried to convince himself Magnus wondering if Alec had already looked this uncomfortable in his entire life. Magnus had never seen him so awkward. It wasn't as if he was going to throw himself at him.

Not yet, at least.

He finished filling his glass with a fruit juice, grabbed his cat and brought it to him. As Alec's unease was contagious, Magnus took a deep breath.

''This is the first I invite someone I have a first date with at my place,'' he said in a light tone, sitting next to him.

The worst was that it was true. And it made this date special and could explain his nervousness. And Alec's even greater one who had never dated anyone and certainly didn't know what to do, say or even behave.

''I'm not going to eat you, at least not right now,'' Magnus teased.

It made Alec look up and he looked slightly worried.

''I'm serious !'' insisted a little too cheerfully Magnus.

Alec narrowed his eyes and drank his juice. ''What are we supposed to do now ?''

Magnus chuckled. ''First you'll help me with our dinner, and we'll talk after, even if we still can talk while we'll cook.''

Alec nodded and followed him in the kitchen.

Magnus just had to make him talk and he knew it wouldn't be easy, as Alec was the less talkative person he had ever met.

They talked, even if Magnus had to get it out of him. Then he noticed for the umpteenth time that Alec had no trouble talking about his siblings and even mentioned his mother several times but nothing concerning Robert Lightwood and himself.

''You're scared of your father,'' commented Magnus, sipping his wine.

Alec put his fork down. ''He's scary, for me.''

''You didn't want him to see us if he was there ? Because he's homophobic ? He will imagine that you go out with any man you're with ?''

Magnus really wondered how this man looked like and what was his relationship with his elder son, even with all his children.

Alec took a sip of his orange juice. ''I was eighteen when he took me to this restaurant to tell me I was a monster,'' he whispered. '' He also accused Jace for making me, you know, so yes I didn't want to go inside with you, it would have been too ironic.''

Magnus stopped chewing and looked at him with yellow eyes. This kind of man could be very disturbing to have as a father. It was hard to believe that it was possible and yet it was.

''I understand better. And poor little Jace, too charming for his own good !''

Obviously, Alec had suffered some consequences and even some damage. That could explain the state of his self-esteem near zero and why he was this way with such a father. But why he had been suffering alone ? Jace was living a good life, even though he was _responsible_. It was strange, given what he had heard on their father.

Alec had a strange relationship with his father, Magnus had already noticed it. Hadn't Izzy told him that he was the mediator between Robert and them ? And how many times had he fixed things for his siblings?

''He's living a good life, don't you think?'' he added.

Alec didn't answer and continued to eat in silence.

Maybe he was the favorite one but it didn't seem to be the case at all.

''Secrets don't last long with me, '' Magnus said. '' I will make you spit them out.''

Alec looked up. ''I don't have secrets.''

He just lied, Magnus knew it. Rather than secret he should have use an other word which reflected the fact that he was so reserved and so not talkative sometimes. But Magnus had unconsciously used the right word. There was one, but what ? And was it really one ?

Alec really seemed to be a secretive person after all.

''Everyone does Alexander, it's only a matter of time, the truth will always win out.''

''I don't understand what you're talking about,'' he retorted with a frown.

Magnus smiled and brushed his hand with the tips of his fingers. He was eager to learn more about him. Furthermore, secrets didn't last.

Their date was going slowly but surely. Until Alec suddenly apologized, surprising Magnus who thought that everything was going well.

''I know I suck at this kind of thing,'' Alec said.

Magnus smiled. True, he wasn't talkative and struggled to talk about him despite all the efforts that Magnus made to make him talk. He wasn't used to it but Magnus intended to change that.

''Don't worry I'll make you used to it, sit next to me !'' he said, patting the sofa. ''I'm going to ask you questions, you answer and we switch after.''

''What kind of questions ?'' Alec asked with worry before sitting next to him.

Magnus patted his knee affectionately. ''I won't test your IQ,'' he teased. ''Here my first question: how was your first kiss ?''

He really wanted to know what he had thought about it in order to kiss him again.

''Next,'' Alec hastened to say, looking distraught.

''If you can't answer you drink !'' he smirked handing him his own glass of wine.

Alec winced and took it, while Magnus' grin widened. ''Sharing a glass is not that bad... Do you prefer juice ? '' he teased.

He refilled the glass but this time with juice. ''I don't want you to be drunk too fast.''

Knowing Alec, he would dodge any questions like this one and Magnus really wanted to know what he was thinking about their kisses.

''Does this mean you will ask similar questions ?'' Alec suddenly asked with a wince.

''Obviously !''

Alec took a big breath and Magnus attacked once again with the same question. ''So, how was your first kiss ?''

Alec rolled his eyes. ''I hope the questions are restricted !''

''We have all night Alexander, all night, '' Magnus insisted with a grin.

''I don't know, I didn't have time to think about it,'' he quavered.

He lied. Magnus loved to see him so bad at lying, his voice was less confident than usual and he didn't dare to look at him in the eyes. It was worse than usual.

''You're a bad liar, it's what I like about you, so ?''

When he saw that he was wondering how he knew, he chuckled. ''Your eyes and your voice.''

Alec scowled. ''I don't think words can describe it,'' he finally said.

''Am I that good at kissing ?'' asked Magnus falsely surprised.

Alec blinked. ''It's not what I meant.''

Magnus snorted. ''I'll show you,'' he murmured with fondness. ''Handsome as you are I'm sure someone asked you out so...who ?''

Alec had no experience in love, but it didn't prevent someone to be interested in him. Magnus was the proof. Maybe there had been someone like him before that Alec had rejected.

''I don't know who you're talking about.''

Apparently not, and he looked so surprised and bewildered that Magnus could have think that someone had already been interested in him.

''A guy with blue eyes sitting next to me who said something incredibly stupid.''

Alec narrowed his eyes and looked at him skeptically.

''I think you're handsome, '' Magnus insisted.

Alexander would be even more handsome if he wasn't this unconfident.

''Since when? '' asked reluctantly Alec.

''I've always found you handsome, I couldn't fight against it !'' Magnus joked while staring at his tongue-traceable jawline, those cheekbones and those lips.

Alec still looked at with suspicion, without noticing the way he looked at him.

''So ?''

''No one, but Jace tried to set me up with some girls.''

''Jace can be so kind,'' he sarcastically said.

Yet he was glad it was only with girls, he kind of wanted to have the entire monopoly on him.

''Your favorite color ?''

''Black ?''

Magnus should have known.

''Pick an other one.''

''Black.''

He had forgotten he was stubborn.

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''It's not a color ! Whatever...when was your first kiss ?''

He sincerely hoped to be the first one to have kissed him and wanted to hear it from his mouth.

''Why are you so obsessed with it ?''

''I'm the chosen one to ask questions, so ?''

''Few weeks ago... ?''

''With who ?''

''You know.''

Magnus smirked and raised an eyebrow. ''I'm dying to hear it from you.''

''This person literally attacked me against the fridge, I remember glitter, a lot of glitter. I'm sure you know who he is.''

Magnus narrowed his eyes in a please expression. It was official, he was the proud owner of his first kiss.

''I admit I used a lot of glitter and I didn't attack you, I was more...overwhelmed with passion !''

Alec smiled but he looked embarrassed, as always.

''Why are you scared of your father ?'' he suddenly asked.

''I'm not really scared of him.''

Magnus snorted. ''You don't want to disappoint him, so you're wary of him and that's what making you scared of what he would think about you.''

''You know...the other day, he asked me about you as an investor, so if someday Jace or Izzy ask you something, don't be mad at them.''

Magnus raised his eyebrows. The father was more and more charming. ''He's this kind of person ? And if you're the one to ask me something ?''

Not that he could actually do anything about Idris, he didn't have the capacity nor the privilege.

''I won't, I told him I didn't know you. So yes, he is this kind of person. Try to speak about him with Izzy and Jace and watch carefully their faces.''

Magnus tilted his head, staring at him. ''He's that bad ?''

He could guess that he currently was.

Alec shrugged, as if he didn't dare to say it. Magnus came closer, making their thighs touch.

''So why are they so carefree, away from their scary dad when their brother is under his yoke ?''

Alec froze, looking anxious. There was something then.

''Alexander ?''

''I'm just the oldest child that's all, nothing else.''

He lied.

''Look at me.''

Alec didn't, making him sigh. ''I'm more and more curious to meet your dear father.''

And to tell him what he thought about him.

Alec finally dared to look back at him in the eyes. Magnus gently smiled.

''What about your mother ? Is she like him ?''

Alec slightly frowned. ''Not really, she is softer, but she does as if she saw nothing. That's why we don't get along with her.''

Neither of his parents seem to behave as they should.

Magnus decided to change the subject. ''Tell me about your tattoos,'' he asked.

''What do you want to know ?''

''Everything about them.''

''Well, I have fourteen of them and I think I'll stop there.''

Magnus blinked. ''Be more talkative, or show me and explain them !''

''I won't !'' refused the latter with modesty.''One day, maybe,'' he hastened to add in front of his disappointed face.

Magnus smiled. ''In which circumstances ?'' he teased. ''If you can't answer drink.''

And Alec drank.

Magnus was happy that Alec had played all along. He felt better and hoped that the latter too.

''Your turn,'' he exclaimed a little too happily. ''And if you can't ask me anything you drink !''

But he was slightly nervous and hoped he wouldn't ask some awkward questions which would make him lame.

Alec sighed. ''How did you feel the first time you went here in the United States ?''

Or deep and serious questions like this.

Magnus blinked, surprised. ''Free.''

''Don't you miss your native country ?''

Not at all.

''Not that much, what remorses are for ?''

''Why are you always drinking wine ?''

''Because I like it,'' he chuckled.

''Did you talk with Clary about me ?''

Magnus blinked. ''No and with no one, you and me we're a secret, as you wished !'' he lied.

''Izzy knows.''

Really ? Happy ? Magnus straightened up. ''And Jace ?''

''He has enough problems with Clary.''

_What did he mean ?_

''We're not a problem Alexander, you have a problem with yourself.''

Alec glared at him, annoyed. ''What was your first thought when you saw me ?''

 _Oh._ Magnus wasn't ready to answer that. He threw himself on his wine which made Alec smiled.

''What about you ?'' he asked with curiosity.

What did Alec think the first time he had seen him ? Magnus wanted to know now.

''I'm the only one to ask questions.''

''Right, I'll tell you after then and you'll tell me ?''

''Maybe. You're really popular and a Lothario so...''

Magnus spat his wine. _What ?_ ''A Lothario ? Me ? Well..maybe, go on,'' he said with a hand movement, afraid to hear what will follow.

''Are you trying to fill an emotional void?''

Alec really asked weird questions.

He made a strangled sound. ''I am faithful if it's your question.''

''You didn't answer, drink.''

Magnus didn't want to drink and wanted to be sincere. He was right. Those blue eyes could really see through people and reach their soul hidden under a fake behavior.

''I like to appeal people, for good reasons, but I don't think so. Don't cast doubt on my whole existence ! At worst... it's up to you to fill this emotional void Alexander,'' Magnus teased with a glittery wink.

He couldn't stay serious, not when Alec touched a sensitive issue he had hidden under glitter and jokes, but deep inside he knew that he knew.

''Chairman Meow is here for that. You remembered Simon's name last time so why are you always teasing him ?''

Magnus didn't really know why.

''He's fun to tease.''

''Do you remember your first kiss ?''

Honestly, Magnus didn't remember, not as much as he should have. But he hoped that Alec would forever remember his.

''I remember the last one.''

''With Chairman Meow ?''

Magnus' smile widened, _he could make jokes now ?_

''I was talking about this one,'' he said before leaning against him.

It had been a moment since he wanted to kiss him and he had been desperately waiting for the right moment to do it. He kissed him tenderly and lengthily on the corner of the lips.

''And don't think I forgot our second date and that you'll have to ask for it, '' murmured Magnus.

''I won't.''

Magnus smiled. ''We'll see.''

Their first date wasn't over and by far it wasn't a disaster.

''Why are you so confident ?''

_Because I want you and I want you to want me the same._

''Because you're curious Alexander,'' murmured Magnus, pushing one of his black locks on his forehead.

His face was always hidden underneath his hair to Magnus' dismay.

''What if my curiosity is already satisfied ?'' Alec asked lowly.

''Really?'' snorted Magnus.

Alec hadn't seen anything yet and they hadn't done anything yet either. Magnus sincerely hoped that the little he had seen didn't satisfy him. If that were the case, he had to entice him.

And he bent to kiss him again. Their noses brushed and Alec didn't push him away. Magnus pecked his lips several times before brushing his lips with his tongue, making Alec opened his mouth. As he wanted to touch him he slipped a hand in his back, under his shirt, to caress his skin, whereas Alec grabbed the nape of his neck to deepen the kiss.

Magnus did his best to not smile and unable to contain his enthusiasm to feel him responsive, bit his tongue a little too hard and immediately apologized by kissing his chin, before taking again possession of his mouth.

And things ran out of control, their current position wasn't very comfortable, especially Alec's one stuck against the couch and Magnus. He tried to move and ended up to free his back from any support. Magnus who was leaning against him and holding him in his arms, fell on him, surprised.

Alec's lips were red and swollen, and his eyes shining.

''No longer curious you said ?'' Magnus teased, kissing him back.

He was still on him but it didn't last, he lay on the side to release Alec, to show him that they would only kiss, and slipped an arm around his waist. The latter relaxed and kissed him back. Magnus softly kissed his cheekbone and caressed his cheek with a smile. There was some progress.

Huddled against each other as they were filled Magnus more than he could have imagined. He wanted more.

''I still don't know if we're made for each other, let's go on a real date next time,'' he stated hoarsely, forgetting that it was Alec who had to ask for a second date.

The latter smiled. ''You said I would be the one to ask you out.''

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''You're more stubborn than I am, I know what I want, you don't, so it's decided. What about next Friday ?''

Alec seemed to hesitate but Magnus frankly doubted that he would refuse, especially when he kissed him as he did.

''Where you want, I don't care,'' he added.

Alec's gaze lingered on his lips and Magnus let himself being observed, the heart madly pounding his his chest. All his attention focused on the heat emanating from his body.

''I'll call you,'' Alec muttered.

''I knew you were too curious for your own good,'' smirked Magnus before kissing once more.

And fortunately for him.

*

The thing with Alec was that he suddenly moved backwards. Magnus could try as he might to step forward to make things change, but it made him back out. Even when he wasn't doing anything, as an afterthought.

This was what happened when Magnus was in a meeting and his colleagues spoke about some company. He felt his phone buzz and tried to not pay any attention to it before throwing a discreet look at the message he had received. At first, he thought it was from Catarina or Ragnor but no. It was from _Darling_. Darling who just canceled their second date and apologized, without saying why.

Magnus had a bad feeling and an icy fear invaded his entire body. _Why?_

Everything went well and he had accepted this second date. Absurd thoughts invaded his mind to conclude one thing: he had done something he shouldn't have or hadn't tried hard enough to make him Alec want him.

Unless something happened with the father.

Not wanting to believe that the problem came from him, Magnus tried to convince himself that it wasn't his fault. And yet...

It was the longest meeting that he had ever lived and he stamped with impatience on his seat to finally get out and call Alec. Unfortunately for him, he was forced to go to a restaurant with his colleagues, as he had organized it.

It was awful.

Magnus had several time the opportunity to slip away in order to call Alexander but whenever he could, he remained paralyzed on the spot unable to decide whether he should call or not. He was afraid of being rejected for good.

It was late when he returned home in a state of an extreme nervousness, despite Chairman Meow welcoming him. It didn't stop him from taking him in his arms while squeezing him against him to give himself some courage.

He called Alec, maybe he was already in bed or reading.

He picked up and anxious as he was, Magnus aggressively asked : ''Why ?''

''Family stuff,'' answered Alec with a tired voice.

 _Family stuff ? Just family stuff ?_ Magnus sighed with relief and dropped his cat who gave him an annoyed look. The noose which tightened his chest loosened and he could breath more freely again.

''Then when ? And I'm talking about our date not my next party,'' he asked unhappily, he had been scared for nothing and resented him for that.

''I don't know, I'll be busy from now so...,'' Alec said.

Something happened to make him lie. He was trying to run away.

''You're trying to run away from me,'' stated Magnus. ''Something happened ?''

''No.''

He was lying.

''Alexander... ''

''I was too curious,'' he finally admitted, as if it had been a sin.

_What did he mean by that ?_

''What remorses are for ?'' he angrily said, he didn't want him to be scared and turned around. Not now. ''We still have to check if we're made for each other and if you don't remember: you kissed me back and more, the other day.''

Alec cleared his throat. ''I remember.''

Magnus too and he softened. ''I'll be waiting for your call, goodnight, dream of me tonight !''

''I won't,'' made his amused voice before hanging up.

Magnus stared at his phone with the impression that Alec had tried to escape. Something had made him want to run away but what ?

*

It was a roller coaster with Alexander and the worst was that they only had one date, nearly a second, but Magnus wanted them to be together, and why not forever but it  had started badly.

It was nerve cracking.

And yet, as soon as he saw him at his party his worries disappeared, Alec confused him in a strange way. He could make him unconfident and destroy him slowly, while making happy in no time. And it was only the beginning.

Alec gave him hope and he was hooked. If he turned back, it would be the end of everything for Magnus.

Maybe he was expecting too much or were to obsess with him. But he felt that Alec was the one and that he had to hold on.

Simon too had to if he wanted to date Izzy who was dancing with a handsome guy.

Magnus sighed and drank an umpteenth glass under the piercing gaze of Catarina who snatched his glass from his hands. He had just saw Alec with Jace, and the latter was touching him too much. A mixture of anger, envy and sadness came over to devour the little common sense he had left that anxiety and fear had eaten away some time ago.

It worsened when a man moved closer and spoke to Alec before grabbing his face and sticking their foreheads together. Magnus narrowed his eyes that anger had made yellow. Catarina told him something he didn't hear, all his attention was focused on Alec who crawled out from the too clingy guy to take refuge near Simon who was holding Chairman Meow in his arms.

He was no stranger to jealousy but possessiveness or the feeling that Alec was only his... It was stupid, pitiful but reflected the attachment he had for him to the point of not bearing that someone other than him could touch him.

Magnus wasn't his usual self and Catarina turned her head toward Alec with a frown.

''I'm sorry to say that Magnus but it's for your own good and because I'm your friend. I like Alec but I don't want him to break your heart...you know what I mean, he obviously doesn't like himself so how do you expect him to love you back ?'' she asked with worry. ''And honestly you're more worried than happy.''

''Because I want him to love me the same and if it's not the case, I'll love him enough for two,'' he growled, knowing very well that there was some truth in her words.

And in order to escape her and because he was a little drunk, he walked toward Alec who slightly frowned when he saw him.

''I don't like it,'' he grumpily and childishly said.

Actually the only thing he liked in this party was Alec and nothing else. Everybody was getting on his nerve, even Alec who didn't seem to get the feelings Magnus had for him. He was such a fool.

Alec looked at him with perplexity. "You don't like what ?''

''I don't like it when people are touching my things !'' he answered angrily.

Especially when he had had to wait a long time in order to touch him, and this guy had normally and almost nonchalantly and casually touched him.

Magnus didn't like it.

Maybe Alec had noticed that he had drank more than usual, maybe not, but Magnus suddenly feared that he would be scared of this sentence.

But Alec only frowned. ''So I'm a thing ?'' he casually asked.

Magnus slightly frowned. ''No, of course not,'' he murmured grabbing his hand, feeling the urge to touch him in order to appease the demons that tormented his troubled soul.

Alec froze and looked down at their interleaved fingers. Magnus wondered if it was the first time that they held hands. It looked like it.

''Catarina said she hoped the guy I'm interested in will not break my heart,'' he casually said, hoping that Alec would tell him the opposite. ''I said that I hoped too.''

''I hope he won't too...,'' murmured Alec slightly worried looking back at Catarina who was staring at them with a frown.

Magnus fought the urge to lift their fingers intertwined together prominently in order for her to see them, before remembering that no one should know about them.

He squeezed his hand harder. ''It will be an important family stuff Friday ?''

Perhaps he squeezed too hard and made Alec feel trapped but he removed his hand from his.

''More annoying than important,'' the latter answered, carefully avoiding to look at him straight in the eyes.

''I can't wait for Saturday,'' Magnus muttered with a gentle smile, calmed down by their coming date.

Alec looked at him silently and Magnus could see that there was something, something wrong but what ? By his silence, Alec eluded him. What he kept silent about, kept him away more an more.

He had always been discreet and secret but Magnus had hoped to learn more about him or become closer to him. It was the case but not enough, he wanted more and wanted to know everything immediately. He knew it would take some time but it seemed that they couldn't go anywhere this way.

And they still hadn't their second date.

Magnus wondered if the couple that would make would have a future or not, and if it wouldn't destroy by the expectations of one and the secretive side of the other

**

Either Alec made him sink or made him incredibly light, and it was scary. Catarina and Ragnor had noticed it, but they said nothing more than what she had already told him.

She cleared her throat exaggeratedly to catch their attention, especially Magnus' one, lost in his thoughts in which Alec was the main actor.

''I was thinking about organizing a meal between friends.''

''With who?'' asked Ragnor.

''You, Magnus if he wants...''

''Why I wouldn't?''

''If you're too busy with Alec,'' replied Ragnor with a smile.

Magnus rolled his eyes and moved in his chair before painfully banging his knee against the table.

''You hurt my table,'' said mechanically Ragnor.

Magnus snorted and took his glass of wine before bringing it to his lips. ''I have a date with you know who tonight.''

''And where are going?'' asked Catarina while having a second helping of tiramisu.

She took a big spoon that she looked at in a please way.

''I don't know, it's a surprise.''

''It's getting better between you two? '' inquired Ragnor.

''It's always been good between us, why?''

''Like that.''

Magnus narrowed his eyes but didn't insist. He helped with the dishes, until Catarina told him that someone was calling on his phone. He immediately thought about Alec and their date, wondering if he was going to cancel it again. He gritted his teeth and went into the living room to get his phone on the table.

''It's Izzy,'' she said before handing it to him.

Magnus frowned and felt the curious gaze of his friends on him, before Ragnor begged Catarina to help with the dishes. She complied gracefully, making him promise some pastries which she was particularly fond of.

''Hello ?'' Magnus answered with a puzzled expression.

''Magnus ?''

''Who else ?''

Izzy snorted. ''Right, it's just that you sounded weird.''

''Are you calling on your brother's behalf ?'' he hastened to ask, feeling more and more anxious and ill.

''Why would I do that ?'' exclaimed Izzy incredulously. ''No, I'm calling you to know, well, I wanted to know if you had a date with Alec...as he doesn't tell me anything and I want to know.''

Magnus heard the sound of a broken plate in the kitchen and the exasperated sigh of Catarina, glad it didn't happen at her place with her cutlery.

Alec was secretive was everyone then. Magnus felt relieved and sad in the same time, because this way it meant that it was not his fault but that he wasn't either a person Alec could trust and confide in his issues.

''He told me that you knew for us,'' he murmured because that was what he has understood.

''For what happened in the kitchen yes...and now there's a _us_?''

Magnus didn't answer as he was thinking to be the only one to think at us as a _us_.

''Magnus ?''

''Yeah ?''

''So you're really together now ?''

''Kind of,'' he reluctantly said, on guard.

Izzy's silent was eloquent. ''He never says anything,'' she grumbled. ''You already had a date ?''

''Yes, one.''

''It went well ?''

''Why would it have turned bad?''

''I don't know, you never know with Alec.''

Magnus smiled and straightened up before leaning against the table. ''Is he all right lately ? He seems...I don't know...aloof, more than usual.''

''He didn't say anything to you ? To me either if you want to know, to anyone. Not even Max and even if they're close. But I think he knows something. ''

''Who ? Max ?''

The little brother was aware of something ? But what, especially.

''Yeah, he's a bit of a nosy-body but he isn't talkative either so I don't know. It has to do with Robert so with Idris, nothing unusual.''

Magnus hummed. ''I see your brother tonight.''

''Ha !'' she trumpeted. ''I knew he had planned something, so it was you !''

''I'll try to make him smile.''

''Good luck, he was pretty grumpy when I got him on the phone earlier.''

Magnus snorted. ''A grumpy Alec,'' he murmured fondly.

''You really like him, do you ?'' she shyly asked.

''Yeah but he underestimates a lot what I feel for him,'' he said lowly to not be heard by Catarina and Ragnor.

''Better than the opposite.''

Magnus blinked. It was a point of view.

''Anyway,'' she murmured. ''Know that I'm here if you feel the need to be helped with my brother. But I don't think you need help because you came this far on your own. ''

''Alexander is a challenge.''

''He's more troublesome than me and Jace, right ?''

''He's a different kind of trouble,'' he said with a wide smile. ''And nobody will be more troublesome than the both of you, I don't know how he manages to support you.''

Izzy snorted. ''Love, Magnus, love.''

It was the same for him, concerning her troublesome elder brother. What made him cling to him this much was this word.

Then, Catarina asked him to hand her the phone in order to talk to Izzy about her friendly meal.

''Magnus, you'll tell me how it went?''

''You want all the details ?'' he teased.

He almost could hear her roll her eyes.

''Why not ?'' she said in the same tone. ''Please ?'' she asked more seriously.

''Okay,'' he agreed. ''Don't worry I won't eat him, at least not tonight,'' he hastened to add before handing his phone to Catarina who gave him a quizzical look.

''Really ?'' she only said, with a raised eyebrow.

''Really.''

 

Magnus almost jumped with joy and his heart madly pounded when he saw that Alec looked as happy as he was to see him. Unless it was only wishful thinking. But he looked pretty tired and had this trouble expression which meant that he had some worries.

Magnus frowned and softly touched his cheek.

''Bad day ?''

''Bad nights,'' Alec corrected with a frown, looking at his hand on his cheek.

Magnus removed it with a little smile. ''Is it my fault ?'' he teased. ''So where are we going ?'' he cheerfully asked.

''I usually go there with Max,'' Alec hesitantly said while giving him a sidelong glance.

Magnus grinned. ''I won't be disappointed if that's what you're worried about.''

He was ready to follow him anywhere, even in Hell.

Alec relaxed. ''You'll pretend ?'' he asked with a smirk. ''I know they have a good wine, at least that's something.''

''How do you know their wines are great ?''

Alec didn't drink at all and Magnus narrowed his eyes. The latter only answered with a shrug and took him to a Georgian restaurant that Magnus didn't know at all.

It reassured him in a way that Alec could go out on his own or with his little brother from time to time.

The place was simple, traditional and he liked it. Besides, it was the perfect place for a date given the softened lights and the atmosphere that Alec didn't seem to care about at all.

 _No romanticism in perspective,_ inwardly sighed Magnus slightly disappointed.

But it didn't prevent him to widely smile at him when they sat at their table. The waitress brought them the menu and Alec shyly showed him with his finger which wine he had to take.

''Sure of yourself ?''

The latter nodded and Magnus ordered this one.

Indeed, the wine was good and different from what he was used to drink. Alec had more taste than he had thought.

''You were right, so how did you know for their wine ?'' asked Magnus observing the golden color of his wine which strangely reminded him Jace's eyes.

_Be mature it's only wine._

''What do you want to hear ?''

''That you did research for me obviously,'' Magnus said with a grin.

''What if I already tasted it once ?'' Alec said uncertainly.

''Really ?''

''I can drink, I just don't like it.''

Magnus chuckled. ''We will do as if you had already drunk their wine then.''

And he certainly had, Magnus just liked to tease him as he was in a good mood.

''By the way, how was the family stuff yesterday ?'' he asked more seriously.

Alec blinked and slightly stiffened, on his guard. ''Not that bad, I was worried for nothing as always.''

His voice was stiff, almost robotic. Alec was sometimes so awkward that he didn't look or sound human with his lack of emotions and his impassive face.

Softened, Magnus smiled and moved forward to touch his cheek with affection and stroke his cheekbone with his thumb. As always, Alec seemed to panic every time Magnus touched him. He wasn't used to it at all and behaved like a wild animal who didn't let anyone touch him.

''You really look tired, your father is taking advantage of you ?''

All his problems seemed linked to his father's company.

Alec relaxed when Magnus withdrew his hand and cast a discreet glance around him.

''No, I'm far from being exploited now, I have time to read and to get bored.''

Magnus frowned, it wasn't very expected from an heir. ''What did you do ? And does that mean we can text now ?''

As Alec never answered the texts he sent during work hours.

Alec blinked. ''I won't.'' he scowled. ''Remember when I fought with a guy ?''

''In my kitchen ? When you broke my beautiful table ? I do, so ?''

''Let's say he learned about this accident and I'm again an intern.''

Magnus gave him a piercing look. ''Right your father...How did he know ? And why did you want to work for him ?''

By agreeing to be the heir, he had to accept all the conditions.

Alec winced. ''You remember when you were an intern ?'' he asked in order to not talk about himself.

''Nice diversion, you always manage to make me talk about myself,'' noticed Magnus with a smirk. Let's say I didn't suffer a long time and I quickly managed to impose myself.''

A little smile appeared on Alec's lips.

''And at the end of my internship, they kindly begged me to stay.''

It wasn't entirely true, they were sick of him and his work area covered with glitter, as Magnus had discovered how awesome it was and sowed it everywhere. Since then, he had stopped sowing glitter everywhere at work and missed the time when he could.

''Really ?''

''Really,'' nodded Magnus while staring at him.

He lost himself in his contemplation before remembering Catarina's friendly meal, as he wanted to ask him if they could go together, given the fact that Alec didn't know where she lived.

''Oh and you didn't answer to Catarina,'' he said.

Alec blinked. ''Catarina ?''

She had his number and had told him that he still hadn't answered to her text.

''You didn't receive her text ?''

With a frown, Alec pulled out his phone and stared at his screen. Magnus could see that he didn't answer all the texts he received. He was glad that his weren't ignored.

''You'll come?''

''Yes.''

Magnus smiled. ''We could go together.''

Alec nodded and Magnus noted that it would be the occasion to spend some time together before going to her place.

It wasn't their first date so Magnus knew how to deal with Alec and how to adapt himself to his silence, but the latter was also more cooperative and more smiling. He was more at ease and it was mutual.

Magnus had even taken the liberty to touch his feet under the table in order to establish a safe contact, reassuring and comforting, more for himself than for Alec, and he took his hand to intertwine their fingers together. The dinner was ending and he didn't want their date to end this quickly. With a little luck, Alec wouldn't flee immediately right after.

He intended to do everything he could to make that date last as long as possible.

Alec looked embarrassed and gave a sheepish look at the waitress who had just brought their desserts. Magnus hadn't even noticed her.

''How was this second date ?'' he asked.

Alec tried his best to look straight into his eyes. ''It went well,'' he admitted lowly.

Relieved, Magnus smiled and caressed the back of his hand. ''You still got worried for nothing,'' he said in an amused tone.

Thoughtful, Alec looked down before staring up at him. ''What about a third ?'' he murmured.

Magnus blinked and raised an eyebrow before smiling. All his concerns that had never left his mind went away. So he wanted a third date, he had just ask a third one. Magnus' heart fluttered and swelled with happiness even if it had suffered unnecessarily and quite a bit recently.

He came closer and softly kissed him. ''Sounds good, still curious ?''

''Still curious,'' Alec nodded smiling slightly.

And this time, he didn't check if people were watching them.

Alec was like a drug, a drug in which Magnus was increasingly becoming addict and he had no explanation for this phenomenon and no cure for it. And he began to hope seriously that this addiction would eventually be reciprocated. Alec had just lit again the spark that had started to extinguish in him.

Magnus payed to make up for what had happened the first time and because he had discovered a new restaurant in which he was eager to return.

''With you of course,'' he had hastened to clarify.

Alec had just stared at him with a frown before going out in the street, making Magnus sigh.

He had a lot to learn and he was impatient to teach him. He snorted, drawing the attention of the latter who gave him a puzzled look.

''What's wrong ?''

''You're adorable.''

''What ?'' he said with a frown while sticking himself against the wall in order to not hinder people on the sidewalk.

''I said you're adorable,'' Magnus repeated before lengthily looking at him and rolled his eyes when Alec cringed when he heard the compliment, as if he didn't want to receive it.

He took him gently by the arm to walk despite the crowded streets and Alec finally relaxed when he saw that Magnus was silent and had no intention of complimenting him abruptly.

''You'll get used to it, I'll get you used to it,'' he teased earning a suspicious look from the latter.

Magnus felt indestructible, as Alec had asked him out for a third date. Not that there wouldn't have been one if he hadn't asked but it wouldn't have been the same. He brightly smiled at him which made Alexander slightly smile to see his grin.

They walked without really worrying about their surroundings and talked about the matters they had started in the restaurant and even during their first date.

''Last time you didn't tell me what you thought the first time you saw me,'' reminded him Magnus.

''You really want to know ?''

''Tell me,'' he insisted by giving him a slight shove.

Alec smiled and Magnus became suddenly nervous in front of that smile.

''Genetic was generous,'' he confessed. ''And that you almost had the same eyes as your cat.''

Magnus beamed. ''Really ? You found me handsome ?''

_Alec found me handsome._

''I think everybody who sees you for the first time would find you handsome.''

''I know but I'm glad you did too, you still do right ?''

Alec smiled and Magnus smiled back. He knew it was thanks to his appearance that he could have stir up his curiosity and didn't feel any shame and arrogance. But he also hoped that it was because he was himself and that otherwise Alec wouldn't have accepted.

It was his turn to be sincere and to tell him what he had thought of him, even though it wasn't necessary.

''It's my turn to tell you about our first time,'' he joked with a frown, unsure about his reaction.

And yet, he knew how Alec would react as he had already guessed what had been his first impression of him.

Alec winced. ''I already know, you don't have to tell me...''

''You were the one to ask first, I want to tell you now !''

Right, Alec had already asked about that before.

The latter sighed when Magnus grabbed his arm so they could stop for a moment. They went to a shop window and Magnus took a deep breath, the time to choose the right words.

''I won't be mad,'' tried to reassure him Alec.

Magnus cleared his throat, looked at him straight in the eyes and took his hands. He knew by what he had to begin to show him how absurd his unconfidence was.

''What struck me the most was that you were not dressed for a party. After, when you told me you were Izzy and Jace's older brother, I was surprised and I thought...,'' he winced. '' And I thought, but how can they be related ?''

Alec blinked and nodded, not very surprised. Magnus freed his forehead from a lock of black hair that hid his eyes, to better watch this face that deserved to be watched over and over again, and slid his hand down his cheek to better feel him.

''You're like a rough diamond, you just need to be carefully looked at and then we realize you're very good-looking, you just have to be polished by a gaze. You're handsome Alexander, I could endlessly look at you but you have the self-esteem of a turtle.''

 _And it ruins everything,_ he bitterly thought before congratulating himself to have eyes.

The comparison made the latter snort and he tried to free himself from him, which made Magnus sigh.

''You have the self-esteem of a turtle,'' he insisted. ''You're handsome, very handsome and interesting but you're the only one who doesn't know. That's what struck me the most in you and what dissociates you from your siblings. You're so unconfident, not at ease with yourself and you doubt about everything. Even now, you're looking at me wondering if I'm making fun of you when I compliment you.''

Alec looked away, embarrassed and blushing, and Magnus took the opportunity to kiss his temple.

''And I perfectly remember how white was your belly, it kind of obsessed me for days. You didn't have any tattoos back then,'' he added with a grin thinking back about the flat and pale belly that had slightly disturbed him for days.

Alec looked at him, dumbfounded. ''What ?''

Magnus stared at him with mischief. ''Never mind.''

He was eager to see again that belly and the rest of his belly as well.

Alec seemed to ponder about what he had said and had this thoughtful look that intrigued Magnus. What was he thinking about ? He wanted to know everything about him but he knew it would take time. Alec was not going to become talkative about himself overnight.

If he was so attracted to him, it was certainly due to this aura of mystery and secrets that emanated from him, besides the conflicting signals Alec sent him. He was here today, gone tomorrow, and stepped forward to suddenly move backwards, to Magnus' great displeasure who was tortured by his indecisiveness.

But for now, everything was going well.

For now, and until their third date.

''Catarina asked the girls to help her for her friendly meal,'' he said when seeing a restaurant that reminded him his friend's friendly meal .

Alec stopped and frowned. ''The girls ?''

Magnus took his hand and interleaved their fingers together before pulling him. ''Clary and Izzy.''

Alec didn't squeeze back his hand immediately but when he did, Magnus widely grinned. It became natural, everything had become natural after spending more time together.

''But Izzy can't cook.''

''She'll learn,'' he nonchalantly said. ''Catarina is a good cook.''

She could make everything eatable.

''Izzy can't cook, for real. Jace nearly died once,'' Alec insisted.

Magnus tilted his head, saw his worried face and narrowed his eyes. She hadn't said anything about that earlier and to Catarina either.

''I don't remember hearing this from her, we'll ask Jace to taste it first then,'' he joked before remembering something concerning the latter. ''Besides, it's only a matter of time before he and Clary are together for good,'' he blurted out, wondering why he always felt the need to be reassured about the blondie and to test Alec about him.

And he stared at him, waiting for a reaction like disappointment, a hurt expression, something like that. Alec did react but not like he had expected by kissing him. It was just a peck but it was also the first time he initiated it. Dumbfounded, Magnus stared at him and more particularly at his lips before pulling him by the arm for another kiss.

Alec didn't kiss him back immediately as if he was measuring the risks. They were outside, in the middle of a street, and Magnus deepened it when he felt his reluctance to be kissed and pushed him inside of his building that he hadn't recognized at first before hastening to kiss him again and again against the mailboxes before the end of their date.

It went by too fast.

And he started to go too fast. His mouth landed below Alec's ear, in this sensitive area that made him shiver. Maybe it was too early to leave a mark but he really wanted to leave one. He changed his mind and kissed him back into this hollow and Alec tightened his grip around him. For a moment, Magnus thought about going to Alec's place and finish what they had so well started but it was too early for them and he knew that he shouldn't get ahead of himself. In order to calm down, his kisses became less frantic, less languorous and more controlled. Alec, whose lips were now red and swollen, stared at him with a slight frown, making Magnus kissed him again for the last time before pulling away from him, with a wink, to get back his composure.

''Dream of me tonight,'' he said hoarsely.

It was a rather abrupt way to end their date but Magnus didn't see any other way to do it. Otherwise, he would still be there ravishing him.

''I'm too tired,'' Alec retorted with a little smile, short of breath.

Magnus laughed and pinched his cheek, and hurried to leave before throwing himself at him again.

 _Maybe Alec is too pure for me,_ he noted with a frown. But he was very happy to date him, he marveled about the simple fact that just seeing him was enough to make him see the world in a brighter way. Even though, he mooned around earlier in the day about the behavior of the latter.

Alexander Lightwood gave him a hard time sometimes, but he was worth it. Magnus was happy and proud to have been able to get this far with him, and hoped that it would go further, as long as Alec cooperated because Magnus couldn't see himself moving forward alone. Besides, a relationship needed two individuals to work.

He had to do everything to hold his curiosity and to make it evolve into something more secure, lasting, intense and romantic.

It was once in a taxi that Magnus made his report to Izzy and Catarina. He didn't go into details and only said that it went very well and that they were dating for real.

He peered at his reflection through the glass and wondered if Alec considered them a couple or an experiment to satisfy his curiosity. For him, they were a couple even though he was the only one to feel something sincere.

Strangely, it mostly hurt to think about it when he was alone. Once with Alec, he forgot everything and it made things a little more cruel.

*

Catarina had laughed when Magnus had told her Alec's words concerning Izzy's cooking skills.Therefore, he hadn't insisted because he also thought that he might have been exaggerating.

But Alec didn't, far from it, as they had all to get involved after she had ruined everything.

And maybe because his friends knew about him and Alexander, Magnus wasn't careful at all and did whatever he wanted by touching him and by being more affectionate than he should have with someone as reserved as Alec.

But he didn't push him back, even embarrassed as he was.

And it didn't seem to bother anyone, at least not those who had eyes to see, noticed Magnus seeing that Jace was the only one to not notice anything.

This friendly meal at Catarina's place had been the opportunity to implicitly formalize his relationship with Alexander.

*

They were more and more comfortable with each other even if Alec still couldn't give in. He wasn't used to be so close to someone other than his siblings Magnus assumed, but things improved and Alec could kiss him naturally now.

Especially when Magnus asked too many questions, he had noticed as well. Every time he was too curious and Alec's silences weren't enough to shut him up, he was kissed.

He was a fool. He liked Alec and his kisses, so his curiosity and his thirst to know the things that his boyfriend kept quiet about, melted away.

Magnus was a fool but a happy one.

He stared lengthily at the young man who made his heart beat and smiled when he saw him sigh in front of a meowing Chairman Meow who was trying to get his attention. Alec looked down at the tabby cat and at the food between his hands before changing his mind, whereas the cat meowed louder while getting on his hind legs.

''Stop,'' Magnus said while gently pushing him with his foot. ''Shoo!''

Alec followed the escape of Chairman Meow in the living room with a small smile before turning back toward him with a jaded look.

''It's trendy meals now ?'' he asked.

Magnus chuckled and dropped a kiss on his neck. ''That's what people do to socialize,'' he said while looking at him with amusement.

''I'm exploited,'' Alec complained while opening a bag of salad.

Magnus snorted. He hadn't made him come earlier on purpose to help him with the meal but just to spend more time together before the others' arrival.

''Believe me I would love to exploit you in a different way but unfortunately we are late,'' he teased with a serious gaze.

As kissing him was beginning to be more and more insufficient.

For now, it didn't really frustrate him as it was still the beginning and because Alec was always kissing him in an innocent way, showing that for him having sex was not an option yet, far from it.

Magnus then grinned and bear it, waiting for things to happen naturally.

He became more and more patient this way, it wasn't that bad all in all.

Alec had no apparent reaction with this sexual innuendo but slightly turned his head so Magnus couldn't see his face anymore.

The latter couldn't resist and dropped a quick kiss on his shoulder.

And the others arrived, too early to Magnus' taste who would have liked to enjoy more their alone time.

They had a good time, despite the mocking glances of Catarina and Ragnor who were watching Magnus quizzically. The latter ignored them as best as he could and tried to not devour Alec with his eyes as he was used to.

But all habits died hard.

Izzy had invited them all to her dance performance and even ended up throwing an annoyed look at Jace and Clary who weren't listening, too busy as they were to whisper some idiocy to each other. Magnus glanced at Alec who was talking to Simon.

Jace and Clary were now officially together, as they announced it with a big smile. Alec's face was impassive but he had this something in his eyes that Magnus couldn't identify and which spoiled a little his happiness to have him all to himself now.

The latter suddenly looked at him and shyly smiled before caring on his conversation with Simon.

There was some progress.

But it didn't last after they all left as Alec only stayed to help with the dishes. Magnus should have been grateful and was but he wanted him to stay.

All night would have been perfect but that would be like asking for the Moon.

''So you're not staying ?'' he asked with disappointment, hoping that he would change his mind.

Alec stared at him with that look that made him understand that he was behaving like a spoiled child who had to content himself with what he had, and seemed to think, but reluctantly. He didn't want obviously. He wasn't ready.

And Magnus couldn't promise that it would be a platonic night.

Alec was right to listen to his intuition which advised him to go home.

Magnus sighed and hugged him before kissing him.

''How was the diner ?'' he asked against his lips and with a little smile.

As an answer, Alec slid his arm around his waist and pulled him tighter against him.

No wonder he had impure thoughts whenever Alec was this responsive. Magnus' smile softened when Alec seized his lip between his and exhaled slowly through his nose to savor them. Alec had made some progress and was much more daring, to Magnus' delight who got carried away. He wanted to feel him even closer and blended in with him. His hands went down and became insistent, making Alec suddenly stiffened.

_Right._

He wasn't ready to take the next step.

''Just kissing,'' he breathed to reassure him, pressing his lips against his jawline.

Alec took hold of his lips but not without casting at him this suspicious look that made him roll eyes. As his hands weren't going below the belt, Alec seemed fine. Magnus then slid his hands under his shirt and stroking his skin, while holding him tight against him and standing in the middle of the kitchen.

It wasn't that great but Magnus was dying to press him against the wall or the fridge to kiss him more passionately and have a support just in case.

But Alec seemed to want to keep control and didn't seem to want to give in more than that.

''I have to go,'' he whispered in his ear while Magnus was kissing his collarbone insistently.

And he was the most reasonable one, perhaps because he had no feelings for him.

Magnus then grabbed a piece of skin between his teeth that he sucked and bit, making it turn purple, before kissing his chin. Their eyes met and Alec kissed his nose and his cheekbone.

It was rare and sometimes clumsy but he had those affectionate gestures that made him think that there was maybe more than curiosity. But then, it could be immediately refuted by his behavior and his silences, by the unexplained distance he suddenly put between them whereas everything was fine a few minutes ago, and then this attitude. Alec was unconfident, it was a fact, but sometimes it was worse as if he had been crushed by something which had made him touch the bottom.

Magnus did everything to make Alexander feel better then and entertained him as best as he could, without understanding why and how, given the fact that Alec never told him anything about his worries and problems.

And yet, Magnus could guess: _Idris_ , and why not _the father_.

''I really have to go,'' Alec insisted and he smiled when Magnus kissed his nose.

''Fine,'' growled the latter who didn't want him to leave. ''Thank you for today.''

Alec smiled again with a shy little smile before leaning to stroke Chairman Meow, and he walked toward the entrance.

''What about me?'' Magnus huffed.

He could have said _'stroke me too'_   but it would have sounded weird in his mouth.

Alec turned around with narrowed eyes, wondering if it was a good idea. Magnus was already waiting for the gesture of affection with a big smile.

''I can close my eyes if you want.''

Alec sighed, moved closer and kissed his neck, before throwing him an amused look and headed back to the entrance. Satisfied, Magnus let him go and wished him a good night.

Once alone, he wondered when Alec would finally confide his problems to him. Magnus asked nothing, he didn't really dare, thinking that if Alec didn't talk about it was because he simply didn't want to talk about it. And Magnus didn't want to seem too intrusive even if he was dying to know everything there was to know about him.

And because he knew that Alec would shut him up with a kiss.

**

Clary and Jace were officially together, Magnus remembered by seeing them whereas he was with Catarina, entering a restaurant holding hands and exchanging a kiss. He had wanted to follow them just to have some fun and to see how they were as a couple but Catarina had prevented his idiocy to go further.

''You'd like to be followed when you're with Alec? '' she asked.

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''No.''

''Then don't,'' she said while grabbing his arm to prevent him from bothering them.

''I was joking,'' he protested in an obvious tone.

Catarina glanced at him, showing him clearly that she didn't believe him and forced him to follow her before reminding him that she had to buy a dress and needed his advice.

They went into a shop and Magnus was immediately excited at the sight of all those clothes and all these colors, earning the amused look of Catarina who headed toward a beautiful red dress that she went to try in a fitting room.

Meanwhile, Magnus strolled in a section with silky jackets and touched a fabric with abstract patterns. He sighed when his phone suddenly buzzed his pocket and smiled. It was Izzy.

''Hi, what's wrong?''

''Actually, nothing for me whereas for you...,'' she cheerfully said.

''About.. ?'' he asked, absent-minded.

''Well, it's more a warning...Robert asked me a lot of things about you yesterday, I had to see him for something...and he had been more curious about you than about me.''

Magnus blinked. ''What did he ask ?'' he hastened to ask. ''And how does he know about me ?'' he added, remembering what had said Alec once about the investor thing.

''I don't know and honestly I don't think Alec ever told him about you, no offense,'' she tried to reassure him. ''Anyway, he knows and he seems really curious like in a bad way, you know what I mean ?''

''You mean that it could have some repercussion on your brother?'' he asked with worry and concern.

''I hope not, but I'll see him tonight so I'll ask him if something happened.''

''I doubt he would, you perfectly know how Alec is,'' sighed Magnus while shaking his head.

Izzy snorted. ''Anyway, be careful, you never know with Robert and then with Alec... he wasn't wrong to hide your relationship in the end...''

Magnus lengthily remained silent and cleared his throat. ''Did your father say something about my job, like to ask me to do you a favor for Idris or...''

''No,'' she firmly said. ''Why ?''

''No never mind.''

''Why ?''

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''Your father is right in a way to distrust me,'' he teased. ''I'm corrupting his son.''

Izzy chuckled. ''How far have you corrupted him?''

''Why? There's a limit?'' he asked with a grin, wanting to keep some mystery about his relationship with Alec.

''No, not at all,'' she cheerfully said. '' So everything's good between you two?''

''Of course.''

Izzy sounded relieved, which made him smile.

''Call me tonight if you want to talk about Alec, I have a lot to say about him, especially if you want to know things that nobody knows.''

Magnus grinned. ''Okay.''

''And be careful, Robert loves to investigate people.''

''I have nothing to hide,'' he retorted haughtily.

Izzy snorted and hung up. Magnus put his phone back in his pocket and joined Catarina who was looking at her reflection in the mirror in her new dress.

''It suits you,'' he said with a smile.

''I know, I'll take it,'' she murmured thoughtfully with a grin. ''It was Alec?''

''No Izzy.''

Catarina nodded and went back in the fitting room, while Magnus wondered how much Robert Lightwood could be extreme.

 

Later, he called Izzy as promised to talk about Alec and learned that he didn't seem well at their diner between siblings.

''Jace says he looks emotionally constipated,'' she murmured. ''He has this face when something's wrong but doesn't want to talk about it...''

''I know,'' Magnus said while stroking Chairman Meow who yawned, curled up on his stomach.

''And there's something,'' she added before talking about her project and the strange words that had her father concerning her brother.

''It depends of him ? What did he mean ? How he's working at Idris ?''

''I don't know,'' replied Izzy.

Magnus frowned and straightened up on his pillow. ''He did something ?''

''Alec never does anything.''

''Yeah, right.''

Magnus pondered for a while. ''He never tells me anything... ''

''To us either,'' she murmured softly. ''He's always like that.''

They remained silent for a long time and heaved a sigh almost simultaneously.

Alec could be very frustrating.

*

Magnus turned on himself, scanned his place with narrowed eyes and checked his phone. Alec was still not there, despite the presence of his siblings.

He sighed, disappointed and eager to see him.

He smiled at Izzy and Clary, and joined Ragnor who handed him a glass.

''Where's Catarina ?'' he asked.

Ragnor shrugged and looked around before spotting her. She was in good company. Magnus smiled and drank his drink before socializing.

There were more people than expected and not enough drinks available. Magnus had to go into the kitchen and opened the special alcohol cupboard to refill the table.

Ragnor raised his eyebrows.

''I thought you'd have more bottles.''

''Me too.''

''Water is also good, or orange juice but only Alec can have that.''

Magnus who was kneeling on the floor, looked up at him quizzically and smirked.

''They'll have to bear with that.''

''They have no choice,'' retorted Ragnor while taking two bottles of vodka.

Magnus rolled his eyes and took the only bottle left before following him.

When he joined the others who were speaking animatedly, Magnus heard his name mentioned several times in the mouth of a girl with gray hair. Izzy winced in front of her obvious drunkenness and moved closer to Catarina who had a raised eyebrow.

''What's going on?'' he asked, expecting her to complain about the shortage of alcohol.

Ragnor was more direct and showed her the newly available bottles. Jace hastened to follow her, asking if they wanted glasses.

''She wanted to know if you had someone,'' sighed Catarina.

''I told her that you had and it was someone you loved a lot,'' added Izzy casting a sharp look at the girl who was now hanging at someone else's arms.

''Who?'' asked a regular partier with almond shaped eyes while sipping his cocktail.

''Alec,'' simply answered Magnus.

The guy blinked and seemed to try remembering who was Alec, and he couldn't obviously.

''My brother,'' helped him Izzy.

The guy's confused eyes converged toward Jace who was returning with several glasses. ''I thought his name was Jace.''

Izzy rolled her eyes whereas Magnus stared at him with a smirk.

''Their elder brother : tall, dark-hair, pale and handsome, and don't worry if you can't figure who he is, he's the king at hide-and-seek.''

''He loves walls,'' added Catarina with wide grin.

The guy narrowed his eyes and stared at each of them before sipping once more his drink. Jace arrived triumphantly, handed them the drinks and took Clary, who was talking with Simon and Ragnor, in his arms.

Magnus was really looking forward to Alec's arrival.

And at the same moment, he appeared out of thin air, looking sullen and worried about something and with this something which clearly showed how much he didn't really like parties.

Magnus smiled and Alec's lips slightly curved but not enough to form a smile.

The latter immediately went to hide in the kitchen and Magnus resisted the urge the urge to follow him. Alec wanted to isolate himself and Magnus was willing to leave him alone if that was what he wanted. He would harass him with questions later.

''There're too many people for him,'' Jace smirked.

Magnus didn't say anything, lost in his thoughts, wondering what he could do to cheer him up. Maybe with a present. He blinked and stared ar Jace who frowned.

''What ?''

''What does he want for his birthday ?'' he blurted out.

Jace gave him a bewildered look. ''For his birthday? But it's in a super long time!''

Magnus rolled his eyes and turned to Izzy who was chewing her straw.

''Books, he loves them. Buy him a rare or collectible one and he'll worship you until the end of his days. But you still have time, his birthday is in September.''

''I know,'' Magnus said.

He could buy him something early, he thanked Izzy with a smile and then noticed the way Jace was staring at him.

Apparently, he had finally understood the nature of his relationship with Alec.

It was time.

''You're together?'' he asked with bewilderment.

Clary who had returned from the toilet exchanged a glance with Magnus, not quite discreetly, and Jace turned to her with dismay.

''You knew ?''

Izzy rolled her eyes. ''You're the only one who didn't know.''

''Now you do,'' said Ragnor before giving him a pat on the shoulder.

''Even I, I knew,'' said Simon with a superior look. ''They weren't really discreet either.''

Apparently enough for Jace who was now looking at Magnus as if he was the worst human being in the world.

''You and Alec,'' he stated as if it was the joke of the year.

Magnus said nothing, he didn't really know what to say. He felt that Jace wasn't for it, far from it. The latter must have realized his trouble and cleared his throat.

''I knew you were interested in him but I didn't expect him to be interested in you,'' he explained with a frown. ''Since when?''

_Three months, twenty-four days and twenty hours._

''Almost four months,'' Magnus answered.

Jace's frown deepened. ''So...does it explain your behavior toward me ?''

''It depends what you're alluding to.''

''You know.''

Magnus didn't expect Jace to know about Alec's feelings and felt weird.

''You always knew?'' he asked quietly to not be heard by the others.

''Does it change something?''

''Yes or no?'' Magnus insisted.

''Not since the beginning,'' he admitted.

Magnus sadly smiled. He had struggled to have Alec and there was still a long way to go, whereas with Jace... He envied him and followed him with the eyes, when he left to take a beer – probably the last one-, and heading toward the kitchen.

''Don't worry,'' tried to reassure him Izzy handing him a drink, probably the last one too.

Magnus knew that even if she was talking with Clary and Ragnor earlier, she had heard everything.

''Do you think it'll change something?''

''Like what ? Jace has Clary, Alec has you...it won't change anything, if not that Alec will be more open about himself.''

Magnus snorted. ''Really ?''

Izzy snorted too and looked up at him. ''No but it doesn't hurt to hope that he will.''

''It hurts to hope sometimes,'' Magnus murmured before sighing.

Izzy sadly smiled. ''I know.''

''He likes her,'' confirmed Clary to him while staring at Simon and Izzy together.

''I know it's obvious and she does too,'' Magnus added. ''How is it going with your blondie? Not too arrogant?''

Clary smiled. ''He's arrogant for two but yes, everything is fine, he even met my mother the other day. It wasn't planned but he didn't freak out as I thought he would.''

Magnus nodded and looked again toward the kitchen. Jace and Alec were still inside.

''You expected him to run away?''

Clary looked up and sighed. ''I read somewhere than it can be very scary to meet someone's parents when your relationship had just began.''

''Right but who would be scared of Jocelyn ?''

''Not Jace, he was actually happy to meet her and very surprised to see her behaving like a real mom.''

Magnus frowned. ''Really ?''

''Yeah, he told me that it had been very different for him, Izzy and Alec.''

Magnus wasn't really surprised.

''But it seems that it's different for their little brother.''

Magnus nodded, he had understood that Max was slightly more spoiled. ''They have a strange family background,'' he murmured. '' Alec doesn't like talking about that.''

''Jace doesn't either.''

Both of them stared at Izzy who could be more talkative sometimes, depending of her mood of course.

''They came out from the kitchen,'' noticed Clary.

And preceded by Chairman Meow.

They were talking and Magnus frowned when he saw Jace suddenly grabbed Alec's arm, as if to hold him back. Maybe they had argued about his relationship with him that Jace didn't approve.

Magnus wondered nervously what Alec would do if Jace didn't root for them and his throat tightened. Clary's eyes widened when she saw Jace kissing Alec, Magnus blinked and stared at them with confusion.

It was unexpected. Totally unexpected.

What if Jace had discovered that he was into Alec ? Magnus began to imagine the worst scenarios where Alec abruptly left him for Jace. It was stupid but Clary seemed to have the same imagination.

''They kissed, right ?'' she shrilly asked.

Magnus still stared at them, watching them talk and walked as if nothing mattered. Jace suddenly froze and stared back at them with a shocked expression that became a wince. Alec too seemed to have noticed their presence and the fact that they had witnessed everything.

Jace rushed on Clary whereas Alec didn't move, staring at Magnus who also stared back at him.

''It's not what you think!'' said Jace to Clary.

''I saw you,'' she said. ''You're drunk ?'' she asked with narrowed eyes.

Jace snorted. ''No, I just checked if Alec still felt something for me!''

Magnus glared at him. So he had naturally decided to kiss Alec. He didn't listen any further to what he had to say, too busy to stare at Alec who really seemed to want to disappear. He finished his drink in one go, put it down unceremoniously on an expensive furniture on his left and slowly walked toward him.

Alec had nothing to do with it but he seemed to have assimilate the idea that Magnus wasn't happy and really angry after him.

They were now so close to each other and yet they didn't touch, eyes fixed in the other ones. Alec wasn't comfortable and felt guilty for no reason.

''Happy ?'' asked coldly Magnus. ''You always wanted to kiss him, right ?''

_That's why you didn't push him back._

Magnus wasn't very jealous, but more unhappy that Alec had been kissed by someone else and that this someone else happened to be the man he had been in love with. Even though everything went well between them, Magnus wasn't very confident about their relationship as his love was unrequited and Alec secretive about everything.

Maybe he still loved Jace, Magnus didn't know. Maybe he had wanted more than a kiss and maybe he had been more happy and willing to kiss Jace rather than him.

''And in front of everyone, I don't always have this luck,'' he added with a cold and sad smile.

Alec winced and Magnus felt sorry to make him feel bad about the way he was, concerning his affectionate behavior. Against all odds, Magnus was kissed. It was a simple peck, rather shy than passionate, asking for forgiveness and which wanted to be comforting.

Magnus remained stoic, staring at Alec's blue eyes with his yellowish ones and finally kissed him back. He didn't like the fact that Alec had been kissed by Jace, not at all, that was why his kiss was more like a bite which was aggressively devouring his lips and scratching them with his teeth.

Realizing that he was too aggressive and could have hurt him, Magnus liked his bottom lip after delicately grabbing his face. And Alec kissed his chin and his lips before sliding his arms around his waist.

Magnus pinned him against the nearest wall and dropped a trail of kisses along his neck whereas Alec's hands went up to grab the bottom of his face.

''Not the neck,'' he abruptly and hoarsely said before sliding his hands under the folds of Magnus' slightly opened shirt who pressed his hips against his.

The latter would have loved to be able to think straight at the moment but was unable to do so, as he felt his pants getting tighter. Alec who was in the same state as him, stiffened as he slid a leg between his that he pressed against his crotch.

''Magnus,'' he murmured in a panicking tone.

The latter finally looked up and kissed his chin, whereas Alec wiped his smeared makeup away with his thumbs. Magnus slightly smiled and pressed his forehead against his, in order to calm down, without taking away his leg. Alec suddenly nestled his head into his neck and he did the same, before slowly breathing, enjoying his reassuring and natural smell.

Snuggled against him like this, made him feel good and he had no desire to move away.

Alec shyly kissed his neck and began to draw small circles absently on his back, under his shirt. Magnus straightened up when he felt his smile against his neck and kissed him while stroking his cheek which he finally pinched affectionately.

''No longer mad ?'' asked shyly Alec.

Magnus snorted. He hadn't been mad, just possessive and stupidly jealous.

''No I was just jealous,'' Magnus muttered in a conversation tone.

Alec blinked, he certainly thought that he was stupid.

''Why did he kiss you ?'' he asked, already knowing the answer.

Alec didn't dare to look him in the eyes. ''To see if I still had feelings for him.''

''And ?'' asked Magnus before softly kissing him, and hoping that it wouldn't be the last one.

Alec kissed him back. ''They're fading away.''

Relieved, Magnus smiled. ''Good,'' he mumbled against his lips.

And they exchanged kisses much sweeter much later.

Magnus began to think that he had reversed the trend and his efforts had finally paid off. Alec was beginning to forget Jace, maybe he was starting to feel something for him and maybe his curiosity had changed into something stronger.

*

If Magnus was much more relaxed about his relationship with Alec, it was not as much as he would have liked. Jace was no longer a threat but the so not talkative side of Alec gnawed him increasingly.

There were concerns, worries that he didn't mention, not even to ease his mind or to feel better. Magnus had the impression to not be trusted enough and had tried several times to find out what was bothering him, but Alec then talked about something else, kissed him or ignored what he had asked.

In other circumstances, it would have made Magnus extremely happy but there... Alec was beginning to be really good at diverting his attention.

Magnus stretched his long legs on the coffee table next to Alec's who pressed his leg against his while stroking Chairman Meow absently. It could last a long time, and the tabby cat seemed very pleased to be on Alec's lap.

''Focus on me,'' Magnus told him grabbing his leg and putting it on his.

He let on purpose his hand on his inner thigh and pulled up making Alec stiffened. The latter tried to escape but Magnus was still firmly holding his leg which made him smiled and he finally stopped in the middle of his thigh.

It was time to bring it up a certain subject.

Alec wasn't ready yet but obviously they had reached the stage where kissing was no longer enough. And even if he was still not ready, it happened several times that Alec had wandering hands.

Curiously, he allowed himself more things than he let Magnus do, causing some misunderstanding and making Magnus realized that Alec loved to touch him more than to be touched.

And Magnus wanted to touch him much more, without wanting to make him uneasy.

''You know we can have sex between men ?'' he asked.

Alec blinked and looked away with a wince. Magnus sighed and took Chairman Meow from his lap before dropping him on the floor.

''You're blushing,'' Magnus fondly said, noticing his red cheeks ''We have to talk about this matter sooner or later.''

''I know,'' growled Alec.

Magnus' grin widened and he cupped his face in his hands in order to make him look at him but Alec was too embarrassed and stubbornly stared at the coffee table.

''Alexander, sex is something natural, you don't have to be scared.''

''I'm not scared,'' he retorted, making Magnus' eyebrows raised. ''Let's talk about something else,'' he begged.

''What's bothering you ?''

As soon as he spoke about sex, desire or something about their relationship, Magnus could see that he wasn't comfortable at all. It wasn't something natural for him and even less possible until recently.

It was as if Alec had been slashed about his sexuality, making Magnus wondered if it was his father's fault.

Alec let out a deep sigh and tried to get away from Magnus and away from the sofa. But the latter was still holding firmly his leg and moved Alec to make him face him. Resigning himself to talk about it, Alec stiffened and closed his eyes before sitting in a crossed-leg position. Magnus did the same, making their knees touch and absently patted his shins.

''You don't want to ?''

''I don't know,'' Alec muttered before looking up at his face.

Magnus stared at him, seeking to identify the nature of this hesitation and shyness that blocked him. It was the way he was, but it was linked to such an uneasiness that Magnus couldn't help being worried about. Nervous, Alec suddenly grabbed his hands and interleaved their fingers together.

''I...I never really thought about it,'' he added lowly. ''You want to ?'' he asked with a wince.

Alec could be innocent sometimes but Magnus didn't expect him to be this way this much. So he never had any impure thoughts in his presence ? He felt alone all of a sudden.

Especially since it wasn't new, Magnus thought he had been clear with the way he kissed and touched him.

''Of course I do,'' he said.

But he didn't want Alec to feel pressured, just aware of what he wanted.

Alec studied his face, seeming to assimilate this information with disbelief. He had trouble getting used to the idea that someone wanted him, especially by someone like Magnus. The latter smiled and squeezed his hands.

''Well, I don't because I'm not ready,'' Alec abruptly and awkwardly retorted.

Magnus' smile widened. ''I know you're not ready, you barely let me touch you.''

Alec furrowed his brows in a worried way. ''You don't like it ?'' he asked.

Magnus snorted. ''You're not ready, I won't force you.''

Alec fiddled Magnus' rings, staring at them. Magnus marveled an umpteenth time about the fact that he could behave like a cat, a cat not used of being loved.

''And...uh...you would like to touch me more ?''

''It's so kindly asked,'' Magnus teased, pulling him against him.

Their lips brushed and Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck, naturally, to properly kiss him. Magnus smiled and stared at him.

''You don't mind touching me,'' he whispered, scrutinizing his reaction carefully. ''Whereas when I'm the one to touch you, you tense up.''

Alec seemed to have noticed his behavior and sheepishly winced.

''I'd like to touch you more,'' Magnus admitted with a cheeky smile, hoping that Alec would let him.

The latter didn't answer but didn't really react either when Magnus slid his hands under his tee-shirt and stroked his waist. He sincerely hoped to see all his tattoos.

''How will you touch me ?'' Alec anxiously asked.

And so innocently and suspiciously that Magnus couldn't contain a mischievous smile. ''You'll like it,'' he promised against his neck.

His lips brushed his neck and dropped light kisses against his skin. He resisted the urge to bite or leave a mark, leaving that for later. Alec grabbed his face to kiss him and pecked his lips, making Magnus smile and more passionately kiss him back. Their lips became red and swollen, as the skin around scratched and nibbled, and their breathing jerky.

Alec stiffened when Magnus' hands became more daring and he stopped, the lips still pressed against his jawline that he nibbled. Alec finally relaxed and slid as well his hands under his top to touch his body.

Magnus shivered as his fingertips were cold and his hesitant hands lightly caressed and tickled his skin.

''You can touch me properly,'' he murmured against his neck while uncrossing his legs.

Their position wasn't very comfortable, especially if they wanted to touch the other more. Their legs prevented them from hugging and were on the way. Magnus suddenly grabbed Alec's calves and pulled him to him to put his legs around his waist.

Now it was better and he could properly embrace him.

Alec slipped again his hands under his top while kissing eagerly Magnus' neck. The latter exhaled slowly when he nibbled his skin in a specific area. And against all odds, Magnus lost his top.

He had guessed that Alec got annoyed with the piece of cloth with the way he touched him but he would have wanted to be the first to undress him.

Magnus' hands slid down along Alec's thighs and his mouth down his neck, making the latter shiver. When he stared at him, he noticed with a smile how subdued Alec was by staring at his naked torso.

He let himself being observed, almost shyly, hands still on his thighs. The blue and curious gaze of Alec wandered over his upper body and placed a quick kiss, too fast for Magnus, on his shoulder before continuing his visual exploration lower. When Alec refocused on his face, Magnus couldn't help kissing his nose.

''What do you think ?'' he teased, nibbling his chin.

''Not bad,'' Alec confessed with a smile.

And under Magnus' stunned eyes, he took off his shirt, gradually unveiling his belly.

''Here we go,'' murmured Magnus, who as soon as he saw the tattoos, hastened to help him to undress and unceremoniously threw it to the other end of the room.

Magnus was staring at his body with curiosity and avidity. He finally saw them again, closer and in every details. He caressed his arm where there was a sword made of geometric forms on one and a long arrow in the same style on the other. While stroking his arms along his fingertips, Magnus carefully watched each tattoos. His eyes peered carefully the details of the Moon and a Sun on his left shoulder, and a wheel with strange symbols on the right. He put his lips on the dark lines and followed their contours with them or his nose. Then, his gaze moved lower and stopped at the heart level where there was a complex labyrinth, that he stared at and realized that there was no entry nor exit. He did the same and kissed the tattoo.

He smiled when he saw the compass just below which hadn't the cardinal points' initials but Alec's siblings ones. He only kissed Alec's and carried on his exploration on the strange chemical formula on his left side and also on his right side. They suffered the same fate, with the constellations, like the others.

He then put his thumb on the tip of the tattoo which was sticking out from Alec's pants, on his hip and smiled.

''So ?'' Alec asked shyly.

''Not bad,'' whispered Magnus with a wide grin before kissing him.

He felt stupidly happy that Alec had finally half undressed himself in front of him. Magnus didn't understand how he could behave in this unconfident way with such a body and held him tighter against him. Alec wrapped his legs around Magnus' hips and clung to his waist.

But it wasn't close enough for Magnus who carefully slid his hands under his bottom to gently raise him and stick his hips against his pelvis. Alec stiffened but slid his arms around Magnus' neck who kissed his chin.

He couldn't restrain a hips movement as it was getting more intense.

Magnus kissed, licked, touched and nibbled everything he could and got carried away. He swung Alec on the back and pressed his body against him, before touching his crotch. Alec had stiffened but only reacted when he began to unzip his pants.

''Let's stop ?'' he breathed into his ear.

Magnus who had his lips stuck against his neck, let out a deep sigh. He had forgotten that he was only supposed to touch him more not have sex straight away. He painfully rubbed his hips against his with a last roll, let out a frustrated groan and rested his head in the hollow of his neck.

He straightened up and smiled at his relieved expression, his red cheeks and his devastated lips. With an affectionate gesture, Magnus took off a lock of hair from his forehead and smiled.

''Why are you blushing ?'' he asked in an amused tone.

Embarrassed, Alec groaned and tried to escape, but he couldn't as Magnus, still on him, didn't want to move from there.

He was glad that Alec had liked it so far and slowly kissed him, eyes into his, making him smile and kiss him back before stroking his back, with this shy but affectionate gesture.

 

Later, Magnus searched for the meaning of Alec's tattoos. He found the chemical formulas and smiled, thinking that the silver nitrate one suited him rather well with his eyes, hair and skin color. Just like the love formula, since his body was a temple dedicated to his siblings. Only one remained a mystery: the one on his hip that Magnus was eager to find out next time.

He got more thoughtful thinking back about the labyrinth without any entry or exit and at the wheel of fate. It was strangely suiting him but it had a deeper meaning, Magnus could guess it.

*

Magnus sighed when he saw Chairman Meow jump into a filled grocery bag, spilling everything on the floor.

''Chairman Meow,'' he scolded him with his most authoritative voice.

But his cat didn't care about his authority and did the same with the next bag. Magnus shook his head and stared at him with a jaded look, before picking up the vegetables and the food he had bought.

His phone that he had put earlier near the sink buzzed, Magnus straightened up and took it.

**Darling**

_I'll be late._

Tidying up could wait then. He grabbed the tabby cat before he could do more damage and sprawled in his couch to watch the TV with the latter, who had no choice. Chairman Meow meowed to protest.

''You have no choice, we should have think before doing this mess.''

His cat tried to escape and finally decided to accept his fate before purring and narrowing his eyes. And Magnus stroked him under the chin with a smile.

He had time to watch several episodes of a reality show and to eat but still no Alec. He checked his phone several times, he had no messages. And his intercom suddenly rang, lengthily and in an annoying way. He pressed the button to open the door, wondering if it was Alec and why he had rung this way.

He should have known.

He opened the door with a big smile which froze when Alec threw himself at him and hugged him. Magnus frowned, wondering since when Alec was this affectionate and spontaneous, but it didn't prevent him to hug him back. Alec then nestled his nose in his neck and sighed with satisfaction.

Magnus could smell a slight alcohol scent and his eyes widened. ''Are you drunk ?'' he asked with astonishment.

Alec didn't drink usually. He stepped back for a better look and noticed the state of his pupils and his dazzling smile. Yes Alexander Lightwood was drunk. It was as unlikely as unthinkable.

''I only drank a little,'' Alec clarified by showing him how much he had drunk with his fingers. ''I was persuasive but it was easy.''

 _Persuasive about what ?_   wondered a confused Magnus. Maybe he had had a meal with his colleagues.

''If you say so, come here,'' he sighed while gently taking him by the arm to bring him into the kitchen.

He sincerely wondered how he managed to come here safe and sound.

''I shouldn't have drink on an empty stomach,'' Alec admitted, shaking his head.

He had at least a little common sense left.

''You'll know for next time, drink,'' Magnus ordered him while giving him a glass of water.

Alec emptied it one gulp and gave him his most dazzling smile. Magnus blinked, surprised to see him this way. It was the first time he was seeing him smile this way as if he had no worries and no concerns to torment his mind. An affectionate gleam appeared in Magnus' eyes who lifted up his chin in order to kiss him.

''You can be so adorable,'' he murmured, hoping that he'll see an Alec like this one soon, and sober.

The latter's smile widened and he wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him once more and rested his chin on his shoulder before closing is eyes with satisfaction. Magnus' heart raced as he discovered a cute Alexander.

''Do you want to sleep here ?'' he suggested gently sliding his hands up and down in his back.

He had no intention of doing anything but he didn't want him to leave in this state, and it wasn't every day that he could see an adorable Alec.

''Really ?''

''Of course you can and don't worry we'll just sleep. I won't take advantage of you while you're like this...even if it's tempting,'' Magnus admitted.

''That's very nice of you but why ?'' Alec asked with a frown.

_Because you're my boyfriend and I like you._

''It'll be your first time and I don't want you to regret it when it'll happen,'' he seriously answered.

Magnus wanted their first time to be unforgettable.

Alec beamed. ''How do you want it to happen ?'' he asked with a chuckle.

Magnus frowned, pretty amazed in front of this drunk Alec. The effects of alcohol could be impressive.

''See ? You're laughing and you're not blushing at all, you're not in your right mind,'' Magnus said. ''How many drinks did you have ?''

Alec looked up at the ceiling, in deep thought, and shrugged making Magnus sigh with fondness.

''Do you want to eat something ?'' he asked, but Alec remained stubbornly hooked to him like a koala who had found his tree.

''I want to sleep.''

It was true that it was getting late, he even began to feel sleepy.

Magnus ran a hand through his hair and sighed. ''Okay, let's go,'' he said while heading toward his bedroom with Alec still clinging to him.

He didn't want to admit it but he loved the fact that Alec was clinging to him and behaved this way.

''You'll sleep with me ?''

''You're the one who'll sleep with me in my bed,'' corrected Magnus with a wide grin.

Alec kissed his shoulder and rested his cheek on it thoughtfully while gazing at the room. He never went inside, noted Magnus who had fun seeing his curious eyes landing here and there.

''I thought you'd sleep in silk sheets.''

Magnus smiled. ''Sometimes,'' he said while wiggling his eyebrows. ''It's very pleasant.''

And he opened his closet, looking for something to give him for the night. He found his pajama pants and chose one, a silky red one, wondering how he would look with it and didn't bother with a top, as he wantied to enjoy the sight of his naked torso. He suddenly felt Alec's smile against his neck, and the light kiss that he pressed against his skin. Magnus sighed and handed him the red pajama pants.

''It's pajama pants ?'' asked Alec observing the garment closer.

''You'll be sexy with this one, but also in underwear and even more naked,'' Magnus teased, kissing him back.

When he saw that Alec was seriously considering his offers, he rolled his eyes with exasperation.

''Put it on Alexander.''

 _And I beg you,don't give me a hard time,_ he thought.

In the bathroom and under his bewildered eyes, Alec undressed as if nothing mattered and Magnus had the good conscience to look up at the ceiling in order to not see his stark naked body, despite his desire to look. He had had the time to see the tattoo on his hip though : a balance. And not just that. He decided to leave to let him shower, highly disturbed and feeling like a teenager who had seen something too naughty for him.

 

Magnus cleared his throat, after having taken his tooth brush and giving one to Alec. His thoughts weren't very pure at that moment and he couldn't prevent himself from detailing his body, once dressed.

''Red suits me ?'' asked Alec without noticing anything.

''Yeah,'' Magnus admitted, spitting his toothpaste.

Alec leaned forward and rinsed his mouth. Magnus couldn't help himself and touched his bottom. It was too tempting.

''Couldn't resist,'' he apologized with a cheeky smile.

Alec put his toothbrush next to Magnus' one and smiled in a teasing way, making Magnus frowned.

''Do you want to see ?'' he asked a little too cheerfully while pointing at his balance with his fingertip.

Magnus who was staring at his hip looked up, he would give everything to look again at what he had caught a glimpse of too fast.

''Don't complicate things further, whatever you say will be used against you Alexander.''

But Alec was still drunk and didn't care about anything he said. He gave him a big smile and turned to wipe his mouth on a towel. Magnus then noticed the tattoo on his back, he hadn't noticed this one. It had a lotus shape and was covered with symbols.

''I didn't know this one,'' he marveled before kissing it.

''Only one now !'' Alec teased.

Magnus deeply sighed. ''Don't make things harder than they are.''

Alec smiled and went to bed while he was taking off his makeup. Magnus then wondered what had happened in his head to make him ask to Alec to stay for a sleepover. He had dug his own grave.

It was not for nothing that lust was a sin.

He sighed, looked at his bare face and joined his drunk boyfriend, ensconced and curled in the sheets, looking extremely satisfied.

Magnus had officially dug his own grave.

''You removed your makeup,'' noticed Alec. ''And no glitter.''

''Yeah,'' Magnus confirmed with amusement, lifting up the sheets and laying next to him. ''Don't make me regret your presence in my bed,'' he begged in a whisper.

''I'll be good, I'll just sleep and I don't move that much...I think.''

Magnus wasn't alluding about that.

He suspiciously looked at him with narrowed eyes and turned to switch off the bedside lamp. Maybe he should have waited a little to leave some time for his mind to calm down and to assimilate the idea that he would sleep and just sleep with Alexander.

Magnus silently settled himself under the sheets wondering if it was a good idea to be tactile with Alec. He finally slid an arm around his waist and pulled him against him. Alec immediately clung to him, slipped a leg between his, and went up a little too high making Magnus flinched, and nestled his face in the hollow between the pillow and his neck.

Magnus hold back his breath, the heart madly pounding and stroke his arm.

''Why did you drink ?'' he asked in a whisper, feeling Alec's breath tickling his neck

The latter didn't answer and Magnus stiffened when he felt his hands so close to his crotch. _What is he doing ?_   he wondered with confusion.

Alec was simply playing with his pants strings and kissed his neck while rubbing his nose against it. Magnus thought his heart was going to explode and forgot to breathe. A drunk Alec was worst than everything, really. Definitely worst than torture. His hand stopped brushing his skin and he literally froze, not knowing how to react without listening to his sexual urges.

Alec gleefully stuck his body against his sighed contentedly while undoing the knot of this pants.

''Oops,'' heard him whisper Magnus who let out an exasperated growl before grabbing his wrists to prevent him from touching his crotch, which began to react to his touch.

''You'll lose your pants,'' Alec tried to justify himself.

''You didn't have to play with it and I wouldn't lose it. Too bad for you.''

''I don't mind, it's for you, you can catch a cold with pants down.''

Magnus chuckled and Alec kissed his chin and showered his jawline with kisses, before going down into his neck and his shoulder. Magnus' pulse and breathing sped up and a shiver went down his spine.

Why should he hold back if Alec wasn't holding back himself ? He refused to be the responsible one.

Magnus took a deep breath, slid a hand behind Alec's neck and hungrily kissed him. Alec grabbed onto him harder and slipped his tongue into his mouth that he frantically explored while rubbing his hips against Magnus' who let out a moan. He slid his hands on his hips, grabbed his ass before climbing on him and made him spread his legs with his knees. Then, he placed himself between them with a roll of his hips that made Alec softly gasped and shuddered.

Magnus was literally loosing his mind, he knew it was too good to be true but he had to go for it. Moreover, he wasn't able to think with his brain currently.

Devouring Alec with his lips was no longer enough. Magnus slipped his hand in his pants and grabbed his manhood. He winced when Alec bit his lips and captured his mouth. The latter squeezed him harder against him and nestled his face in his shoulder, and Magnus began to devour his neck with bites and kisses, before going down kissing every bite he was doing.

Not a single piece of skin was spared, Magnus was ravaging everything he could and reached the navel in a trail of bites and kisses. But Alec suddenly pulled his hair.

''Not that,'' he whispered.

Magnus stopped with a frown and looked up, a hand still in his pajama pants. Those words were a wake-up call. He rested his forehead against his belly and let out a frustrated groan, trying to catch his breath.

If Alec wasn't ready for a blowjob then he wasn't up to go all the way. Magnus got excited over nothing, but not really in a way, as they never went that far.

But still, he felt that it would be difficult for him to calm down after having tasted him.

''I knew it,'' he growled against his belly, before going up.''What comforts me is the face you'll make tomorrow morning when you'll wake up, Alexander,'' he whispered against his ear when he laid once more on him. ''You'll be so embarrassed and I'll be so happy to remind you everything we've done,'' he added staring at him with a diabolic smirk.

He'll get revenge for Alec's drunkenness which allowed him more things than usual but it wasn't enough. Magnus felt terribly frustrated now and it was worse than before.

But Alec didn't understand and put his hands on his backside before kissing his chin that he nibbled playfully.

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _I knew it,_ he thought wondering what he was thinking when he had asked him to stay for the night. He had been too greedy for his own good.

''I'll take a shower and sleep in the sofa,'' he growled getting out from bed and heading toward the bathroom to take care of his current state.

He was flabbergasted, after a cold shower, to find Alec sound asleep, lying on his stomach, as if nothing had happened. Magnus lengthily stared at him and snorted.

Alec didn't seem affected at all, asleep and tipsy as he was.

With a fond smile, Magnus covered him with the blanket and brushed his forehead before leaving the room.

He really looked forward to tomorrow where he could finally take revenge on what had happen.

Snuggled on the couch, with Chairman Meow in his arms, and unable to sleep, Magnus thought again and again at what they did in the bed. He couldn't help it.

''All the Lightwood are troublesome,'' he mumbled while closing his eyes.

Especially Alec who didn't realize that he was giving him a hard time, sometimes, and enough to confuse to latter who was more than happy to have him in his life.

Everything was far from being perfect but Magnus wanted to believe that it would eventually end this way between him and Alec. He wanted to believe it, as until now, by dint of believing, him and Alec had finally become _something._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two parts left !  
> And thank you for waiting, reading and your comments ! :)
> 
> P.S.: By the way, I have a [tumblr](http://valliatagada.tumblr.com/) if you want, I don't know, if you feel like coming there just to chill or to say hi or to ask me something ! :)  
> Don't be shy ! *glittery wink*


	19. TME: part 3 [9 to 12]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The human body is really amazing. I got sick as soon as my exams have ended. The morning of my last exam I was totally fine and at the end of the day totally sick... I really thought that I would be late to update for the end of December, fortunately I'm not!
> 
> I sincerely apologize for the mistakes (hoping that there're no foreign words mixed into the whole thing despite checking everything) and I also hope that all the sentences make sense ! ^^
> 
> Thank you for your sweet comments ! :)

Even though Magnus was comfortably lying in the hollow of his couch, with Chairman Meow nestled against his neck, he slept quite badly. Most likely because his boyfriend was sleeping in his own bed, which had lead him to sleep on his couch.

He sighed and closed his eyes, growing heavy, but sleep eluded him. Chairman Meow gave him a little paw that made him frown and smile. He gently stroked his cat and yawned, blinking.

Magnus woke up, with a stiff neck and a strange sensation around. He breathed in the fur of his cat, who curled up more in a ball. He shivered and froze when he heard a little noise. He immediately closed his eyes when he heard the same footsteps in the kitchen before smiling fiercely.

The mouse had finally come out.

And walked rather carelessly despite what had happened the night before. Magnus slowly sat up and winced. He had slept badly and it was as if he had been the one who had been drinking, besides he wasn't as awake as he would have liked. His shoulder cracked when he stood up, and he immediately wanted to go back to bed even though he was dying to jump on Alexander to take revenge for what had happened.

Chairman Meow jumped on the floor and began to groom himself, whereas Magnus tried to keep his eyes open while walking towards Alec who had just taken an apple. He didn't jump on him immediately ans stared at him with a grin.

His back, and especially the bottom, was covered with red lines. Magnus didn't remember having scratched him. His gaze lingered longer on the lower part of his anatomy that the pajama bottom perfectly hugged before going over his back.

His smile widened when he saw his disheveled hair and then thought that his shouldn't be better. He moved as silently as possible and embraced him by nestling his face in his neck. Alec flinched and stiffened. Magnus smiled and lazily kissed his neck before stealing a bite of his apple when he turned around in his arms, and blinked while chewing before resting his head on his shoulder, feeling exhausted.

Alec had noticed. ''Do you still want to sleep ?'' he sheepishly asked.

Magnus nodded, his head still nestled into his neck. Alec threw his apple core out and led him into his room. Magnus followed him, eyes half closed and with an uncertain walk, before being gently pushed into the bed in which he decided to stretch, like a cat, in the sheets.

His lips curved into a smile when Alec finally decided to lie down and he opened one eye. He was lying on his back and seemed to have fallen asleep immediately. Magnus opened his second eye to better observe him. His body was completely covered with purplish marks, as if he had been literally devoured by a leech.

The leech rolled on his stomach and crawled to get closer to him. He was suddenly much more awake and thought about the revenge he had promised. Even now, Alec was sleeping as if nothing had happened. Rarely, he had seen him this peaceful without this eternal frown that made him look worried or grumpy.

His smile widened and he gently kissed his cheek, making appear a frown.

Magnus, who felt a wicked pleasure, straightened up on his elbow, put an arm around his waist and showered his face with light little kisses. Alec opened his eyes and looked into his when Magnus began to touch his body with wandering hands.

''Time for payback,'' he murmured against his ear, a clear idea in mind.

His hand, which had touched every part of his torso, went below his navel to fiddle with his pants strings, and because of what had happened the night before, decided to have fun by moving his hand up and down from his navel to his crotch.

Alec had frozen, like a small animal caught in a trap, and was far from being as responsive as he had been when he was tipsy. Magnus really started to have fun and smiled too much.

For a brief moment, he wondered if he remembered everything that had happened perfectly knowing that he hadn't had enough alcohol in his blood to forget everything, unless Alec really couldn't hold his liquor at all. But he was soon reassured by seeing this gleam in his eyes narrowed with embarrassment and fear of what awaited him.

 _Good,_ Magnus thought with a wide grin.

''I had to relieve myself in the shower and when I came back I found you sleeping soundly quite cozily...,'' he casually said while staring at him straight in the eyes.

Alec winced and groaned. ''I am sorry.''

_You weren't sorry yesterday._

''Sorry how ?'' asked Magnus nonchalantly while undoing Alec's pants strings.

''Like really sorry,'' he sighed, holding back his breath while staring with worry at Magnus' hand which was touching insistently his hip where his balance was tattooed.

With a big smile, Magnus was stroking his hipbones insistently and decided to purposely drag the tip of his fingers in Alec's pants who instinctively pulled his stomach in while holding his breath more that he currently did.

Alec was very fun to tease.

''I swear Magnus, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to be like this !'' he squealed while grabbing his wrist.

Of course he didn't mean to, he was drunk, strangely carefree and freed from all his worries. Magnus already missed this cute Alec who had brightly smiled at him and who had seduced him at some point.

He carefully looked at his face and brought his face closer in order to make their nose touch.

''Would you rather like that we resume everything that had happened or that I describe everything in every detail ?'' he asked to show him how merciful he could be.

''It's so kind of you to leave me no choice,'' Alec joked nervously, averting his eyes. ''What time is it ?''

''You won't get away that easily Alexander,'' Magnus murmured against his temple. ''We have all the time we need.''

Alec stared at him for a moment with this embarrassed winced, bit his lip and tried to divert his attention with a light kiss in the neck.

''I did this ?'' he asked while touching his hickeys.

''Who else ?'' smirked Magnus before pressing his body against his.

His heart raced when Alec wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his collarbones. Maybe from now on, he would be less shy, unless he had really resigned himself to face the consequences, or the fact that they were in a bed helped a lot.

It had almost been their first night together. It had been in a way, given the fact that they had slept under the same roof but in the same bed would have been even better. The mouse's fault for drinking and the cat's one who had been too hungry before coming to his senses.

''And...and what about taking your revenge later ?'' Alec lowly asked.

Magnus narrowed his eyes and snorted. ''Then, never with you and I'm not very patient.''

He wanted to have his revenge, on principle. And because it was the opportunity to go further with him. With a mischievous look, he slid his hands lower.

''And what about interests ?'' Alec suddenly asked.

He was really ready for anything to postpone that moment which would happen sooner or later. Magnus smiled and his mouth went up along his jawline to nibble his earlobe.

''Interests ? What kind of interests?''

Alec really looked embarrassed but he also looked happy to have find a way to postpone it.

''The more you deferred your vengeance the more you'll have benefits.''

''Benefits ?'' Magnus murmured sticking his forehead against his. He liked it.

But was it really what he was thinking?

''What kind of benefits ?'' he asked softly and pressing himself closer against his body.

''What you're currently imagining.''

''How do you know what I'm imagining? It means you are too.''

Alec smiled shyly. ''So ?''

Magnus lengthily gazed at him. His revenge was a way to have fun but he would never force Alec to have a sexual relationship with him against his will.

''I don't know why, I feel like I'm smelling a trap. But okay.''

''Really ? I thought you were not very patient...''

Of course he wasn't, he just discovered that he could be when needed and especially with him.

Magnus snorted and kissed his nose. ''It will be worth the wait and believe me or not, I'm very patient with you. It sometimes surprises me. ''

Alec slightly smiled and kissed him at the corner of the mouth.

''And why are you not very patient?''

''Because I'm used to have everything I want immediately.''

Alec stared at him and Magnus decided to roll on his left side, freeing him form his weight. He could now contemplate at leisure his tattoo on the shoulder with a thoughtful expression. He still didn't know why he had been drinking, and Alec didn't seem to be in a hurry to tell him why, Magnus doubted he had even thought about it.

"Why did you drink?" he finally asked while looking at him.

Alec didn't answer right away. ''I did like everyone else,'' he replied in an evasive way.

Magnus frowned but didn't say anything, even though he was wondering who was the _everyone else._

Alec stretched out, his gaze fixed on the ceiling in a daze that made him inaccessible. Magnus hastened to brush his skin with a frown, wondering for the umpteenth time if there was something going on. Alec eluded him but he didn't really do much to bring him back to him and just waited for him to open up by himself.

He was such a fool.

Alec glanced at him and looked embarrassed with the way Magnus was staring at him, and stood up.

''I'll be late,'' he murmured.

Magnus, who was still staring at him silently, grabbed his hand. ''You can talk to me you know,'' he said.

Alec blinked and tried to break away from his grip with his sullen scowl, as if he had overstepped his rights by telling him that he was there to listen to him if necessary. Alec lengthily looked at him and Magnus began to hope that maybe...but no, Alec went out of the room as fast as he could.

Magnus heaved a sigh and hastened to follow him.

''Your clothes are in the bathroom,'' he said. ''And we can take a shower together if you want,'' he added in a light tone and with a cheeky smile.

Alec glanced at him hesitantly, as if he was reassured that he wasn't curious anymore, but he didn't move.

Both of them were standing in the middle of the living room.

Magnus smirked. It was his way to say that he didn't want to shower together. He really missed the Alec from the night before but this one was just as well.

''You can refuse,'' he nonchalantly said before moving closer.

''Then...no,'' he awkwardly said with a wince.

''Didn't you say I could have benefits ?''

''In the shower ?'' Alec asked skeptically.

''Is that a yes ?''

''No.''

Magnus snorted and stopped bothering him by letting him shower in peace.

Whenever he showed too much curiosity or pointed out that he was there for him, it was the same refrain. Alec suddenly became inaccessible and closed himself like a clam. It then became terribly awkward between them and Magnus sincerely regretted wanting to know more or to help him feel better.

He felt helpless, rejected, like a stranger who had no right to go beyond a certain line that Alec had drawn around him. An impassable barrier. And as soon as Magnus set foot on it, the walls became much thicker than before and he had to do everything to make these walls as thin as they were before.

And same story again.

If Alec didn't say anything and did like nothing ever happened, Magnus pretended that everything was fine between them when it was not. He loved Alec and they were a couple, even if curiosity from one of them linked to the feelings of the other had united them, the distance that this same person put between them destroyed the couple not stable and fragile that they already were.

Magnus was the pillar of this relationship but the pillar needed a base to hold well. The ideal would have been another pillar to support this relationship, but he knew he had to settle for a pedestal, if nothing else.

Even if the base threatened to give way regularly.

It was better than nothing.

But Magnus wanted to do everything he could to make this base stronger. He needed it. He needed Alec.

Alec quickly left the bathroom, while Magnus was preparing the breakfast. He went into the bathroom to prepare quickly and didn't hide his astonishment when he saw that Alec had already finished eating and was already ready to leave without a glance.

Magnus slowly moved closer and did the same with his face, but with hesitation. Alec stared at him and was the one who broke the last few centimeters that separated their lips. When words couldn't arrange anything, a kiss always made things better.

But the issue was that they never had the words. Nothing to voice the feelings and worries between them.

But this kiss used as a last resort to reconcile slightly make Magnus smile.

Alec looked away with a slight smile and ran a hand through his hair that Magnus immediately hastened to restyle for him.

''It's useless, you're wasting your time,'' Alec sighed.

Magnus stepped back with a satisfied smile and narrowed his eyes when Alec raised his hands to mess up his hair for the umpteenth time but he didn't after meeting his stare.

''I'll know when you destroy my masterpiece,'' Magnus warned.

''What masterpiece ?'' Alec grumbled before putting on his jacket.

Magnus snorted and stared at him for a long time thinking of something.

''When will I see you again ?'' he asked while grabbing his hands.

''I don't know,'' answered the latter after staring at their hands.

Magnus knew that from now he would be strangely busy but still, it was the right time to give him his spare keys. He had been thinking about it for a while. It would be a way of bringing something concrete to their relationship and establishing a tangible link between them, besides showing to Alec that he could come whenever he wanted.

''I have something for you.''

He hurried to fetch them in the bedside table in his room and smiled when he saw Alec's curious look on him. He gave them to him with apprehension, hoping that he would take them without being afraid of the new dimension of their relationship.

Alec looked rather surprised and stared at those keys with a frown before looking up at him.

''Those are keys,'' Magnus clarified mockingly.

Behind his mocking tone he was as nervous as him. There were so many meanings behind this gesture and Magnus hoped sincerely that Alec would understand them. These keys were meant to make him stay, to reassure him about the state of their relationship, to give him the impression to belong somewhere and to reduce the distance between them.

And it was another way to formalize their couple.

''This way you can come when you want,'' murmured Magnus.

Alec still said nothing and was still staring at those keys with confusion.

''And you'd better go if you don't want to be late, '' Magnus went on with amusement.

Alec finally raised his head, looked at him with determined eyes and grabbed his shirt. Magnus' eyes widened when he was suddenly kissed in a clash of teeth. Both of them winced and Alec muttered a _'sorry'_ that Magnus hastened to stifle with a lick.

He was glad to have given him his keys and hoped that everything would get better between them. He wanted to believe it, but he knew it wouldn't work out on its own.

*

A few days went by and Izzy's dance show was right around the corner - it would even take place the next day - but still no Alec. Magnus threw at Chairman Meow a jaded look and heaved a sigh. He had been lulled into delusions by giving him his keys. He had hoped to find him at home when he would return from work, to have a surprise visit or that he would use his keys at least once, but nothing.

Alec was elusive recently and they had hardly seen each other.

Magnus suddenly wondered if it was his revenge which made Alec keep his distance or the fact that he had drunk too much the other day and that a lot of things -more than usual- had followed.

He stared at Chairman Meow who was grooming his fur. Alec was like a cat, he just had to wait for him to come at him but Magnus couldn't wait anymore. He leaned down as he could, while holding his computer, and grabbed his phone on his bedside table. Chairman Meow chose this moment to sit comfortably on his keyboard and narrowed his eyes in a please way.

Magnus smiled and carried his phone to his ear before stroking him under the chin.

Alec didn't pick up right away and it was only at this moment that Magnus realized it was late and that he was probably and already sleeping. He looked at his phone with a disappointed face and was ready to hang up when Alec picked up.

Magnus' face split with a big smile. ''I didn't say that I'll jump on you as soon as I see you for my revenge.''

Chairman Meow yawned and curled up more into a ball. Magnus stroked him behind his ears with that same smile.

''You should have been clearer then,'' said Alec.

Magnus snorted and noticed the noise around him. Alec was obviously outside and walking, His gaze went mechanically on the clock of his computer in the lower right side. It was rather unusual for him to be outside at this time and Magnus couldn't help being curious or concerned.

''And I still have your keys,'' added Alec.

Then why did he still haven't come yet? Losing them could have been a valid reason but it wasn't the case...

''You're out ? What's a nice boy like you doing out at this hour?''

''Health walk.''

An evasive answer, as always. And especially since Magnus had told Alec he knew when he was lying.

Magnus chuckled, choosing to play along. ''A health walk? If you want to stay healthy we could play some sport together. ''

Why did he have to make sexual innuendos each time ? It went out from his mouth on its own and he winced, it was not the moment to scare Alec more than he already was.

Alec stayed quiet for a while but finally asked him if he would be there tomorrow.

''Of course I will,'' he cheerfully said, relieved. ''Everyone will be there for our dear Izzy! I heard that Max is coming too.''

''With his girlfriend, I'll be with them.''

So the little Max had already a girlfriend, Magnus smirked. ''He already has a girlfriend ? You are all Casanova in the family.''

Magnus chuckled upon hearing Alec's silence, he perfectly knew what he was thinking right know.

''You have me Alexander, so you are in the Casanova category. I'm quite a big catch, right?'' he said with a wide smile.

Alec played along, almost shyly. ''A big fish you mean?''

Magnus laughed. ''I'd rather be compared to a mermaid but it's almost the same. ''

''A mermaid very sparkly.''

Magnus could almost hear him smile, which made his own smile widened.

''You like the mermaid that I am, right? ''

''I guess, if you like big fishes.''

Magnus laughed. ''See you tomorrow Alexander, sweet dreams.''

''You too,'' he said before hanging up.

He seemed in a rush, maybe to go home. Magnus remained pensive for a long time before yawning and gently took Chairman Meow into his arms. It was time to sleep.

He woke up in the middle of the night, heard the scratches and the untimely meowings of his cat somewhere. Magnus sat up with a grunt to turn his bedside lamp on and looked at the door of his room with dismay. The tabby cat had locked himself out obviously, he rolled his eyes and got up to give him access to his room.

Chairman Meow quickly sneaked in and jumped nimbly on the bed before settling down on his pillow.

"How did you do to lock yourself outside?" asked Magnus with narrowed eyes.

The cat ignored him and he went back to bed under the purrs of the latter.

Magnus couldn't sleep anymore which made him sigh and roll on his side.

He had given his keys to Alec, but he still hadn't told him what felt about him. It was tangible and it could be guessed, he knew it but it was better to say and express his feelings. It could make Alec feel better and aware about them, but the thing was that Magnus wanted to wait for him to share his feelings before officially telling him about his. And yet, he didn't want to have sex with Alec without having said _I love you_  once _._ He didn't feel like it.

 

There were plenty reasons for it. Although Alec could be affectionate, he was with him only out of curiosity. He was not very talkative, didn't seem to have understood the concept of a couple and communication, kept that distance between them as if he was a little mistrustful, and never Alec saw him on weekends when he was with his little brother. Magnus wanted to understand that he needed to be alone with Max and spend time together, but he felt excluded, as if Alec made a clear distinction between his family and his boyfriend. It was the case. Magnus could never be part of his family properly speaking with parents like his.

He suddenly winced when he noticed that he had thought about being a member of the Lightwood family. He turned and almost crushed Chairman Meow with his shoulder.

Magnus wanted to know more Max but Alec didn't seem to agree. To tell the truth, he didn't realize anything and as Magnus didn't want to be too invasive and intrusive, he said nothing. He sighed and pet his cat. There was a lot of worry for nothing. Alec just loved to isolate himself from time to time and to be alone with his brother, nothing more. Magnus wondered if he was expecting too much from him. It was possible given the fact that Alec was different from his past relationships and Magnus had been used of everything going his way all the time. He just had to be patient, everything would work out. He touched his neck where the hickeys were still visible and smiled. Alec could really be affectuous when he wanted.

*

Catarina stared at his neck for a long time, without saying a word, and Magnus found it hard to hold back a crooked smile. She looked away politely to stare at Ragnor, in front of the theater entrance, making a phone call.

"I thought you'd come with Alec," she said, looking at him again.

''He'll come with his little brother and his future sister-in-law.''

Catarina smiled and did her best to not look at his neck.

Slowly, the hall of the theater became more crowded. Magnus smiled at the people he knew, greeted some, spoke with others, while waiting for Alec. He rejoined Catarina, who was putting her ticket in her purse.

''Where's Ragnor ?''

''With Clary and Jace, what about Alec ?''

''Still not here but there's time.''

"Is it me or there're a lot of men?" asked Simon with narrowed eyes.

Magnus stared at him with an amused smile. He had a beautiful lipstick mark on the corner of his mouth and strangely the same color that Izzy had on her lips before disappearing to change backstage.

He exchanged an amused smile with Catarina, and with a common and silent agreement, said nothing.

It was Clary who spoiled everything, she frowned before smirking.

''Simon, you have something on your lips.''

The latter blinked and rubbed his mouth as if nothing had happened.

"At least he can remove it, not like Magnus' neck," Jace said mockingly.

Ragnor looked at the said neck with a small smile and asked if anyone had seen Izzy.

''Simon apparently,'' teased Catarina. ''She didn't stay long.''

"Do you miss me so much?" asked the latter, jumping on Clary.

''Speaking of the devil,'' murmured Magnus with a grin.

Izzy smiled back not without a look for his neck and her smile widened.

''I can see that some are having a lot of fun. ''

''Indeed,'' he retorted while watching Simon.

Then his eyes fixed on the entrance, spotted a tall and lean figure with a certain little brother and a girl around the same age. There were too many people, which prevented him from seeing what they were doing and why they had stopped in the lobby. He saw them talk and frowned when he saw Max and his girlfriend coming closer without Alec who was staring at a point on the other side of the hall before going over there.

There was nothing there, maybe someone he knew. Magnus grinned at Max, on whom Izzy threw herself enthusiastically before introducing him to the others, and he followed Alec. He seemed to be looking for someone or something. Magnus noticed with satisfaction that one or two hickeys were visible in the middle of his neck, and that he was pulling the collar of his sweater mechanically to hide them.

Alec turned abruptly around and Magnus, who was too close, clutched at him to prevent him from tripping.

''You scared me,'' exclaimed Alec.

Magnus tightened his grip around his waist, smiled and leaned down to kiss him, happy to see him. But Alec stiffened and pulled away from him with a distressed expression. Magnus' frown deepened.

_What's going on ?_

And yet, Alec was still holding his arm, firmly. A heavy silence added to a glaring contest between them. Magnus leaned quickly and managed to steal a kiss before narrowing his eyes when he saw that Alec was checking around them if they had been seen by someone. He sighed, grabbed his hand and led him to where were the others.

Alec suddenly withdrew his hand as soon as they came towards them. Resigned but worried by his agitation, Magnus stared at him for a long time. The distance had widened between them and usually it was not a chasm as wide and impassable. Magnus wanted to cling to him to reduce this distance, but the latter always managed to escape and then came back. He could do nothing but wait and try to understand.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched the youngest of the Lightwoods and felt strangely shy, not really daring to speak to him although they had already met. Furthermore, Alec and him had locked themselves in a bubble that he didn't dare to burst.

He looked away to follow Catarina and Clary's conversation and talked with other people. When he looked back at Alec, he had disappeared. Magnus didn't have to look far, he had only to look at Max, who wasn't listening to a single word of what Izzy was saying, he was staring with anxiety and nervousness at Alec who was talking with a man.

He had no trouble guessing who this person was, the resemblance was too obvious and Alec's discomfort palpable despite the distance. Magnus didn't give a single glance to Robert Lightwood too entirely focused on Alec's behavior. He clearly wanted to disappear, hardly looked at his father and tried to make himself smaller to make one with the wall.

His whole being was crying out for help.

He didn't know what they could talk about but obviously it wasn't joyful and he had never seen Alexander like this. He was unconfident, all the time, but sometimes it was worse and Magnus had wondered so many times why his self-esteem could be this low. Now, he knew. Whenever Alec came to him in this state and even when he sounded this way on the phone was because he had seen his father before.

It was his fault and Magnus thought that it was possible to destroy a child with words and all that for a sexual orientation. He did his best to ignore the sharp pain he felt in his chest and thought about Alec's mother. She was passive, had said the latter, and she didn't intervene much in the lives of her children. Magnus had no trouble believing that her passivity had also contributed to what Alec was today.

All this for a sexual orientation, but maybe there was something else that Magnus didn't know. He had guessed so many things whereas he knew nothing in truth.

He then met Max's eye who had noticed that he had noticed Robert. Currently, it was pretty noticeable for those who had eyes to see. They looked at each other without saying anything, and Max shyly smiled at him.

Their friendly exchange was abruptly interrupted by Izzy, who had to go, for real this time, and who insisted on embracing them one by one. Max rolled his eyes and had the same skeptical pout as Alec often had when he disliked something.

With a last worried look for Alec, Magnus followed the movement when people swept into the main room. Max threw an annoyed look at Jace, who pushed him unceremoniously inside. He also had a last look for his brother and reluctantly followed the others.

They settled into the front rows and even though Magnus was carefully waiting for Alec to come in, he knew he had missed him when the show began. But he was predictable and worshiped the dark in isolated corners, Magnus was sure to find him in the background, hoping that he wasn't with his father.

He got up, making people groan behind him, and Catarina and Clary winced when he crushed their feet inadvertently.

''It just began,'' whispered Ragnor.

"My sit doesn't suit me," he simply said, avoiding Jace's leg.

He smiled when he spotted Alec in the back, alone, looking concerned, staring at the scene. He glanced discreetly around him to see if the father was around, and sat down with relief beside him before putting his hand on his thigh.

''This is where you hide ?'' he murmured. ''Let's hide together then.''

He smiled in a comforting way to Max, who had turned towards them, the latter nodded and looked back at the show.

Magnus took advantage of the dark to grab Alec's hand who automatically checked around. _So the father is really a big threat,_ he thought wondering how it could be possible. He smiled with amusement when Alec began fiddling with his rings and in particular his big silver ring, rather old.

Magnus brought Alec's hand to his lips and gently kissed each of his fingers. ''What's the matter ?''

He sincerely hoped without really believing that he would tell him about his father but he didn't. As always.

''Nothing.''

Magnus lengthily stared at him without saying anything and pecked his neck wishing for Robert Lightwood to look at them. Alec slightly tensed up, before putting a hand on his neck and kissed his temple.

''Later,'' he murmured against his skin.

Strangely, Magnus felt relieved, reassured whereas it was Alec who needed to feel this way the most. He looked bad, nervous and anxious since he had seen Robert. Alec's ill-being had been so contagious that Magnus had absorbed a part of it.

His mouth went back to his, dropping a trail of kisses, and smiled when Alec kissed him back.

''Izzy will blame us if we're not watching,'' he said reasonable, as always.

''She'll never know,'' Magnus said.

''I'll tell her.''

He snorted. ''And I'll tell her you're guilty because you distracted me.''

Alec smiled and Magnus groaned, feeling oppressed by the lack of space for his legs. ''There's no room for my legs.''

Alec sighed. ''Do as I did.''

Magnus didn't want to put his legs in the aisle and seriously considered to put them on the sit in front of him.

''And don't put them on the chair in front of you even if there's no-one there,'' Alec told him off.

Magnus scowled. ''I've never seen so much beauty together in one place.''

Alec smiled. ''Everything happens.''

''Izzy has always loved dancing ?''

''She likes anything that requires effort.''

Alec was the one to broke the comfortable silence.

''Magnus, did you go out with many women?''

The latter blinked, surprised and wondering why he was asking that and why now. He moved his legs and sank into his sit.

''How many are many for you?''

Alec had never really asked him about his relationships, probably because he had heard some of it or because he didn't really care.

''Up to you to tell me. ''

''Honestly I don't know, in all, I would say that I went out with a lot of people and I had a period where it was only sex... Well, I don't even know if I've been with more men than women...why?''

''Just curious.''

''Anything else you want to know?'' he asked, hoping to satisfy his curiosity.

''Are we going to watch Izzy's spectacle or talk ?''

''We can do both.''

''I can't.''

''So what are we doing right now ? ''

Alec snorted. ''We're trying to be quiet and watch my sister's performance.''

''We're trying,'' repeated Magnus with amusement before kissing him one last time.

Yet he couldn't concentrate on the show. He couldn't with what he had seen and guessed. And he found himself strangely moved, concerned as if he had been in Alec's shoes.

Magnus looked at him out of the corner of his eye, stared at his profile for a long moment thoughtfully before looking away.

He felt helpless.

He couldn't do anything until Alec spoke to him.

And he didn't want to force him or to be too intrusive. He had already seen what was happening when he crossed the safety distance that Alec had built around him from the beginning.

This relationship wasn't holding to anything except the love Magnus had for Alec, it had to change and why not by starting to say that he really loved him. It didn't matter if it wasn't reciprocal yet.

Magnus smiled when Alec stiffened while hearing everyone applaud around them and when he saw him blink when the light reappeared. Obviously he had been lost in his thoughts.

''It was great, isn't it Alexander ?'' Magnus said with a wide grin.

Alec didn't answer, probably because he didn't want to lie.

They all found themselves in the hall and Magnus discreetly glanced around him to see if the villain was still there. Reassured to not see him, he seriously thought about asking Alec to spend the night at home, to make him feel better and to make him talk.

Izzy moved closer towards Alec after everyone had complimented her and Magnus did the same, ready to make his move for tonight.

''If you think I didn't see you, you're wrong,'' she said quizzically.

Alec frowned and Magnus gave her his most dazzling smile.

''Izzy, as beautiful as the dancers were, I couldn't fight against your brother's sex appeal.''

Max who was near them and had heard him, stared at him with surprise. His gaze fell on his neck, Alec's one and he turned towards his girlfriend.

''Or a boyfriend,'' he said with a smile.

Magnus glanced at the young couple and offered them a glittery wink. Max then gave him a dazzling smile which looked a lot like Alec's. He liked this little brother who had acknowledged him and who seemed way smarter that a certain someone who hadn't noticed anything until recently.

He looked at Jace who was kissing Clary.

Magnus felt better knowing that Max knew about his relationship with his brother, without taking offense on the fact that he knew nothing until now. And even if everyone was talking happily, Alec was still strangely agitated and on the nerves. Maybe Robert was still there.

''I never knew you had so many talents Izzy,'' said a deep and manly voice behind them.

Magnus wouldn't have cared at all if he didn't know that Robert had been here before the beginning of the performance and if he hadn't noticed the behavior of the Lightwoods children. They all had frozen and exchanged an anxious glance that didn't escape anyone's attention. Still, none could compete with Alec's discomfort.

All the Lightwoods children awkwardly turned in one and same motion towards their father. Farewell sparkling smiles and confidence. The change was radical, and Magnus clearly saw that he wasn't the only one to have noticed this discomfort that made them all uncomfortable.

Robert Lightwood was staring at his children with a big smile that didn't reach his eyes, he looked cold and intimidating. Although there was a resemblance with Alec, they were obviously nothing alike. Magnus instinctively touched Alec's wrist and frowned.

Izzy stared blankly at him, not knowing how to react. Surprisingly, it was Jace who was the most courageous, seemingly, as he took Clary's hand in his.

''Hi Robert, it's been a long time.''

Robert looked at him with an amused smile, with this same smile that didn't reach his eyes and the said smile entirely disappeared when his eye fell on Clary, and on the hand in which she held Jace's. Robert then looked up at Alec who averted his gaze.

For nothing in the world Magnus wanted to be in their shoes. Until then he had always thought that Izzy and Jace were having a good life of spoiled children, with all the privileges they owed. And even knowing that the father was homophobic, he thought that Alec was also entitled to these privileges with Idris, although linked to some burdens.

He had been so wrong.

Even if they had everything they wanted, they weren't loved. Their father didn't have the love that a father must have for his children. Clearly not.

Magnus honestly thought that he would be awful with Clary and saw Catarina stepped forward with worry, but surprisingly and despite the cold gleam in his eyes, he was polite and friendly in a cold way.

''You must be Clary ?'' he said, shaking her hand. ''Alexander told me that everybody loves you, especially Jace.''

_Alexander._

Magnus twitched when he heard the way he said his name. Because he knew he was homophobic and particularly demanding, he could guess a bit of contempt and something else he couldn't name. No wonder Alec didn't like hearing his first name if his father always said it this way. Magnus always said it affectionately and intended to continue as until now Alec hadn't asked him to stop, besides he liked his name.

They were all spectators of a weird situation that made them all uncomfortable. Nobody dared to do anything, not knowing what to do without appearing impolite and overstepping some boundaries.

Magnus stiffened and stepped forward to divert the attention of this man, he hated without really knowing him, from Clary and because he didn't like the way he made Alec.

''You must be Robert Lightwood ? I'm Magnus Bane,'' he said with confidence, offering his hand.

He knew that his lip was curled up in a displeased way which seemed to shock Jace and Ragnor who stared at him with a wince.

 _Don't mess with him,_ said Jace's stare.

But Magnus wasn't used to follow Jace's advice and his stare became more fierce. He hated this man and childishly wanted to show him. Robert Lightwood stared back at him in the same way, reluctantly shook his hand and didn't bother to smile.

''I know who you are, you have a reputation that precedes you.''

Magnus snorted. ''You too.''

He had to admit that he didn't feel as confident as before when the eyes of the latter went on his neck. Magnus held back his breath and hoped that Alec's ones were well hidden. But Robert didn't look at his son and threw a last glance at Clary as if she was a miserable insect.

When Magnus looked back at Alec, he noticed that all the siblings had gathered themselves around their big brother. And everyone was looking at their father with the same expression, even Max's girlfriend.

It wasn't enough to have killed the mood, Robert Lightwood wanted to play his role of the villain authoritative dad until the end with his son Max.

''I'm going home, you too Max.''

Given the latter's face, it wasn't planned and his father clearly went too far with his authority.

''It's Friday, I'm going to Alec's place.''

''Your brother has something else to do.''

Magnus perfectly knew that Alec didn't, Max always came first during the weekends.

''I don't,'' he said. ''Max can come and sleep, he already settled his stuff.''

Robert narrowed his eyes, looking carefully from one to the other measuring their resistance and complicity with his gaze.

''Fine.''

He then casually walked away and Magnus should have known that a man like him who enjoyed messing around wouldn't be happy with that. He suddenly turned around as if he had forgotten to say something extremely important and watched him with amusement. Magnus frowned, feeling strangely nervous for no reason.

''From time to time, go to the Palace with your girlfriend and Alexander will come with Lydia, it could be nice.''

Magnus blinked, surprised that he spoke to him and not sure to have fully understand what he meant. _What girlfriend ? And why Alec would go there with a girl ?_ He wasn't the only one to look at the latter with an interrogation in the eyes. Magnus looked back at Robert and his frown deepened when he saw a satisfied smirk on his lips. This man was really odious.

They could finally breathe when Robert Lightwood left, as if the air had become less suffocating and oppressive. Everyone was relieved and clearly felt better once he was gone.

''Well,'' said Simon. ''I know someone who really needs to relax ! Don't worry you're not really alike, I suppose that we can guess you're from the same family but not that much.''

Izzy stared at him and approached Clary, who seemed bewildered to have experienced this situation.

''Did you see how he looked at me ?'' she exclaimed with astonishment.

''As if you were less than nothing,'' Simon lamented, shaking his head. ''I feel sorry for you, '' he said before turning towards Max who was staring at Alec.

''Who's Lydia ?'' he asked.

Magnus too wanted to know who was the girl who had been mentioned earlier, still feeling perplexed about what had been said.

He smiled at Ellie who said goodbye to everyone and watched her walking away.

''No one,'' Alec muttered, on his guard.

''Same as Magnus' supposed girlfriend then,'' chimed in Catarina while looking at the latter who snorted.

_What girlfriend ?_

Strangely, Alec carefully avoided looking at him. No wonder with what had just happened. Magnus hoped that they could find themselves alone very soon and that they could skip the dinner scheduled for the occasion.

''I'm no longer hungry, '' growled Jace.

''I still am,'' said Izzy. ''Let's go and eat !''

Alec didn't look like he wanted to eat more like he wanted to throw up. He was frowning and really looked like a robot without any emotions at this moment. Even this frown didn't express anything either. Magnus knew he was upset, and Alec didn't want to show it.

Magnus gently took his wrist. ''We will join you later,'' he lied with conviction.

Catarina stared at them, Ragnor did the same, but they said nothing. Max was a little more suspicious and stared at him. Magnus really like him and he judged wise to not make his wink or one of his usual smiles, what was the point of pretending with the little brother who seemed as perceptive as his big brother.

Magnus took Alec outside and took a deep breath. He didn't feel better yet. He felt sick to have met the Lightwoods' father. Never would he have believed that he would also be so... Magnus had underestimated this threat and the grip he had on his eldest son. Never this man would accept the homosexuality of the latter and even less his partner. It was the sad reality Magnus had came to face. He realized that making Alec accept his sexual orientation and make him more confident would be more difficult under these conditions.

Magnus blamed himself for having been so blinded by what he wanted without considering the circumstances. He looked at his hand, surprised, when he felt a soft and warm pressure wrapped around it. He looked at Alec who was looking at him with concerned after seeing him hail a taxi.

Magnus stupidly stared at him, and still without saying anything, got into the taxi.

''You said we would join them later,'' Alec said, following him.

Magnus gave him a weary look. ''Are you able to eat anything ? Personally, I want to throw up.''

Alec smiled and rested his head on his shoulder, making Magnus quickly feeling better with this unexpected gesture.

''What's your plan?''

''Distract you.''

''Really? ''

''Yeah and what your father said... it's nonsense,'' he said incredulously. ''Right ?'' he added seeing that Alec wasn't listening to him.

''Yeah,'' Alec only answered with a strangled voice.

Magnus kissed his forehead, hoping that he would soon forget about this evening and they went at his place.

They didn't speak during the ride, neither of them dared in order to take refuge in their own thoughts. But there was an uneasiness that Magnus was eager to make disappear, he still didn't know how and he secretly hoped that Alec would be more talkative for once.

He sadly mistaken, Alec was walled up in one of his usual silences but looked at him from time to time, watching for his actions and gestures. He was slightly on the defensive, as if he was afraid he would be too intrusive.

Magnus sighed and gave him a glass of orange juice before taking Chairman Meow on the shelf.

After sitting on the couch, Alec stared at him, like a cat, whereas he was trying to catch Chairman Meow on the shelf.

''He perches himself higher and higher nowadays,'' he said while gently putting his cat on the floor.

The tabby cat had stopped drinking at the tap but had found a new game: make Magnus catch him.

Chairman Meow immediately threw himself on Alec's lap who hastened to stroke him, and Magnus, after having glared at him, slumped beside them. If Alec didn't want to talk then he wouldn't force him, he didn't see the point and he had guessed what was going among the Lightwoods. It was unnecessary to insist on such unpleasant things and Alec probably wanted to think about something else.

But Magnus couldn't, even if he laughed when watching a silly show that was enough to distract them and to make them forget about Robert Lightwood. He suddenly felt insecure. What would happen if Robert Lightwood came to know about their relationship ? Would Alec be rejected by his parents ? Probably, and everything would worsen : Alec's unconfidence, his attitude toward his sexual orientation...everything. Furthermore, if he had to make a choice between his life as an heir, his family, in short his comfort _and_ Magnus -as it was two different things that couldn't be associated together- the latter wasn't sure to make the weight. He knew he couldn't, he wasn't important enough. Alec was always thinking with his mind never with his feelings.

 _What feelings ?_ snorted inwardly Magnus. There were none, only curiosity. But it was better than nothing, he tried to convince himself.

Feeling the need to reassure himself and to clear any misunderstandings, as suggested a certain someone, which could explain Alec's silence, he took him in his arms. The latter froze and stared at him with a frown.

''Whatever you hear about me, and especially from your father, don't listen to them and if you have any doubt just ask me.''

''You're talking about your supposed girlfriend ?'' Alec asked with a glance.

Magnus smiled. ''I would be polygamous if everyone thought that I was dating all the women around me.''

Maybe he needed to give a more tangible proof of what he was saying, something that would solidify their relationship, which was only holding thanks to what he felt. It could bring something concrete and would show that he was really sincere and that he didn't care about his father. He also hoped that it would make Alec stay and that he wouldn't run away.

Magnus just wanted to give a meaning to them.

And he had to say it at some point, no matter if it made him vulnerable, it didn't matter if it wasn't reciprocal. Feelings had to be shared, voiced. It could make Alec feel better and Magnus knew that it would make himself feel better to voice his feelings.

He rested his chin on his shoulder and took a deep breath. Now was the time to tell him, so that he knew that he loved him sincerely and that they had a meaning.

''I love you, Alexander.''

His voice had been steady, calm, firm despite his heart madly pounding in his chest. He honestly felt as if he had just sold his soul to some demon who had ripped out his heart. He calmly looked at Alec straight in the eyes while holding him in his arms. He didn't wait for an answer, he expected nothing. Alec knew nothing about love and seemed surprised to have heard these three little words that contained so much power.

These words were precious and Magnus didn't repeat them, waiting for them to take effect.

Alec looked away for a moment and looked back at him, straight in the eyes. Magnus knew what kind of thoughts was roaring inside his head, he rolled his eyes and kissed him.

Alec didn't kiss him back immediately but when he did it was passionate, making Magnus smile against his lips. He pecked his lower lip and stroke his cheekbone with his thumb after having cupped his cheek.

They just have to take things slowly, despite his desire to rush everything and to have everything right away. Alec had to be conquered slowly because of the thickness and height of the protective walls he had built around him.

Magnus had great hope that he would succeed in going through, as he had already created a breach in which he had stepped in, a few months before.

**

There were always unspoken things between them but the heavy atmosphere had subsided, even if Alec wasn't paying attention to what was going on in the movie they were supposed to watch. A phone buzzed and Magnus looked mechanically if it was his on the coffee table. It wasn't his, he glanced at Alec's jacket not far from them and then looked at the latter who hadn't heard anything, distracted as he was. It was certainly Izzy or Max, maybe even his father, he thought as he bent over to catch the bowl of popcorn.

''I think your phone is buzzing,'' he said while picking a handful of popcorn in the large bowl.

Alec blinked, straightened up and got up to pick it up in his vest. Magnus had been right it was Izzy. He looked back at the television screen, all ears, to hear some snatches of their conversation.

Chairman Meow suddenly jumped beside him and rubbed his fur against him, begging for some attention which Magnus hastened to give him before taking him in his arms. He snorted when he heard Alec say to his sister to not poison Max and gave him an amused look. His smile widened when he suddenly saw him blush, and he wondered what Izzy could have tell him.

He quickly knew when he received a message from her.

_You'll tell me when you would have slept together ?_

Magnus frowned. What the hell ? He thought with confusion before staring at an even more confused Alec who was standing in the middle of the room while looking at his phone in bewilderment.

''Don't just stand there,'' Magnus said in an amused tone after having send a _why_. ''Are you hungry ?''

Alec joined him on the couch and put his phone on the coffee table.

''You'll eat a real meal after eating a bowl of popcorn ?'' he asked with an amused smile.

Magnus, who was about to draw another handful of popcorn, narrowed his eyes mischievously and tilted his head.

''Are you scolding me ?''

Alec only smiled. Magnus smiled back and put his head on his shoulder.

''You're right, we'll eat later... You'll stay tonight ?'' he asked, lightly kissing his neck and hoping that he would agree.

''It depends if you're taking your revenge.''

Magnus snorted. ''Not tonight, I expect that my benefits would be more substantial.''

''A real businessman.''

Magnus gave him a big smile and a glittery wink happy that he will stay for the night, still he couldn't promise that nothing would happen.

Chairman Meow acted up when they were preparing the meal. Magnus had taken eggs out and placed them on the table and the tabby cat had decided to play the game _making them roll_. Needless to say, dinner didn't include eggs and Magnus glared at his cat who didn't care at all.

They ate calmly - and under Chairman Meow's meowings who wanted to be noticed-, Magnus was persuaded to have heard Alec coughing ' _like his owner_ ' before continuing to eat as if nothing had happened.

''He's nothing like _me_ ,'' he protested.

Alec gave him an amused look and smiled before finishing his meal. At least he smiled, it was a good thing, Magnus pondered to himself.

At the end of the meal, Alec suggested to do the dishes while he was going to shower, as it was already quite late.

"You don't want to take a shower with me?" Magnus asked with a small smile.

Alec, who was clearing the table, stared at him.

''Why, you need help ?'' he asked with crooked smile.

Magnus beamed and pinched his cheek.

Once in the bathroom, he got lost in his thoughts. He couldn't help thinking about Robert Lightwood and his attitude towards Alec. So much disdain and contempt in a look at his own son... To tell the truth, his cold attitude towards all his children had shocked him. He would never have thought about it. There was always a gap between appearance and reality.

And this reality disturbed Magnus.

He came out of the shower, bare-chested and with damp hair, and saw Alec put down his phone and take Chairman Meow in his arms.

''He's punished,'' he said, rubbing his hair with a towel. ''Do not touch the cat, we need to make him understand that breaking eggs is just not done.''

Alec gave him an amused look but didn't let go of the cat that narrowed his eyes in a please way. With a smile, Magnus went to get a pair of pajamas and put them in the bathroom.

''You can go in.''

Alec dropped Chairman Meow and locked himself in the bathroom not without a last look at him, to which Magnus answered with a big smile.

He retrieved his computer that was under the couch and cast a suspicious glance at Chairman Meow who was watching him, curled into a ball, near the TV. He settled into his bed and noticed after a while that it had been a while since Alec was in the bathroom. He put down his computer and got up.

He knocked. ''Need help or you're lost in your thoughts ?'' he asked with an amused voice through the door.

''I'm going out if it's your question,'' he replied and the water stopped flowing.

Magnus went back in his room with a small smile and found Chairman Meow curled up against his computer keyboard.

''You are punished you have no right to this privilege,'' he said while taking back his computer which earned him an annoyed look from the cat who moved on his lap, a paw on the keyboard.

''You also can't do that,'' Magnus haughtily said while narrowing his eyes.

Chairman Meow stared at him with big eyes and Magnus softened.

''Okay you can stay.''

As if the tabby cat was waiting for his authorization.

''I thought he was punished, '' Alec said on the doorway, seeing the cat huddled up against him.

Magnus looked up at him and smiled. ''He made his big eyes at me, I couldn't resist.''

''Did you not give me any top on purpose ?'' Alec asked while Magnus put his computer on the floor whereas Chairman Meow went toward Alec who took him in his arms.

Of course he had done it on purpose, all means were good to see Alec the least dressed possible.

''You can't blame me, I don't really have any and I love the contrast of your tattoos on your skin.''

Alec looked embarrassed and squeezed Chairman Meow harder against him before patting his pillow, which made Magnus smile. It would be the second time they would sleep together, or rather the first time as Magnus had been forced to sleep on the couch in order to not succumb to a drunk Alec. He felt strangely excited about it and couldn't help smiling widely. For a split second, Alec let his gaze wander over his naked torso and averted his eyes before hiding under the covers in order to avoid his stare. Maybe Magnus was watching him too insistently.

''I've seen you already,'' laughed Magnus, sticking against him and pushing the sheets away.

''I'm uptight,'' Alec said. ''I feel embarrassed when you're looking at me this way.''

Magnus snorted. ''I would rather say that you're modest and stop hiding, I want to look at you.''

They finally were facing each other and Magnus kissed the hollow between his collarbones, while Chairman Meow was purring somewhere in the room, and they stared at each other. It was an opportunity to know a little more about what had happened and Magnus hoped to not spoil everything. He approached his pillow to create something more intimate and in order to make Alec more talkative.

''Your father, was he always like that ?'' he asked softly, touching the labyrinth tattoo he had over his heart with the tips of his fingers.

He was slightly scared to hear that Alec was used to it and found it normal, and didn't know what he was talking about. Alec frowned, certainly trying to recall some events.

''He always had been strict but let's say he lost hope when he saw us growing up and when he saw that no-one would fill his expectations.''

He had guessed it. Magnus lowered his hand along his stomach that Alec followed with his gaze.

''Not even you ?''

''Especially not me, I'm not as bad as the others as he says...but he knows that I'm gay and he thinks Jace made me this way.''

Magnus huffed. ''Jace made you gay ? So he knows ? You told me he was homophobic but not that he knew.''

''Believe me, he would have rather not known, apparently it was pretty obvious,'' Alec murmured, staring at his lips.

''Does that mean he is expecting that you find a girlfriend ?'' Magnus asked with a frown, remembering the girl who had been mentioned. What was her name again ?

''No,'' Alec hastily answered.

He just lied.

Magnus sat up and looked at him skeptically. ''He was very clear just now speaking about a Laura.''

He knew it wasn't the good name at soon as it went out from his mouth.

Alec blinked. ''Lydia,'' he corrected with a smile.

It was almost the same, no big differences. He rolled his eyes and made a hand gesture showing that it didn't matter before lying down. And Alec kissed him, as he did in order to not talk. As if it was an issue that he didn't want to think about.

Magnus narrowed his eyes, thinking that it was fishy but it didn't prevent him to deepen the kiss by sliding his arms around his waist and he hugged him tighter.

''So there's nothing going on with that girl ?'' he muttered between several kisses.

As if, Alec was gay and it was what comforted him to think that there was nothing going on. How could it be possible ?

''Only with you,'' Alec whispered with embarrassment.

Magnus hid his smile against his lips and slipped one arm around his waist before going down along his jaw to nestle his face into his neck.

''Not the neck,'' Alec abruptly said.

Magnus looked up. ''You don't like it ?'' he asked anxiously and with a frown.

It wasn't the first time he said that.

Alec cleared his throat. ''I do but don't make them noticeable.''

So he was talking about the hickeys, probably because of Robert and out of modesty. He understood better now.

Magnus kissed his nose. ''What I can't do on your neck I'll do it elsewhere,'' he declared with a cheeky smile.

Alec wasn't drunk this time and he had pretty liked what hey did on the couch the other day so Magnus was pretty optimist about what they would do and what Alec would let him do. For now, he was pretty reactive and eagerly touched his back with his fingertips before touching him with full hands. Magnus stuck his body against his with eagerness and nibbled and dropped bites where he could, when Alec suddenly grabbed his face so that he could take care of his lips instead of his torso. Magnus couldn't suppress a chuckle and rubbed his hips against his, before kissing him. His eyes widened when Alec kissed him back more passionately and drew his lips outline with his tongue. He was getting better and better at it, definitely, thought Magnus with confusion, feeling a thrill of pleasure going through his body. And especially when his hands went lower and his teeth slightly bit his tongue.

It wasn't enough. Magnus wanted to relieve a particular area of his anatomy -Alec's one too- and he got carried away, ending up on top of him. Both of them took a deep breath at the same time when their crotches were this close, both in the same state, which excited Magnus who let out a groan when Alec couldn't restrain a movement upwards. Magnus then captured his lips in a deep kiss, less controlled, making them out of breath and ask for more.

It slightly became went out of control and was strangely similar to what they had experienced. Magnus was glad that Alec was sober and aware of what he was doing, and rubbing together didn't seem enough as his hands were on his hips to increase the pressure of his rolls. Magnus was satisfied with this for the moment, not daring to really go further because obviously Alec's knowledge about what came after stopped there.

And he seemed to be putting more pressure on his hips to better feel him and to better relieve himself. Magnus remembered being stopped when he had tried to touch him more on the couch, something he had been allowed to do when Alec had been tipsy but he couldn't have done him a blowjob.

But he really wanted more and to give him more pleasure as he knew nothing about the pleasures of the flesh. And yet, he knew that they wouldn't go all the way as it was too soon, it was just a way to tame each other and give a glimpse of what would be up to a point.

And all the conditions were not really here for his first time, although Magnus had told him he loved him, that they were together since a few months, that he was a little horny but he wanted it above all to be special for Alec and that the latter would love him the same.. But curiosity was better that nothing.

Magnus slipped an arm under his neck to deepen their kisses and the other under his bottom to raise his pelvis and better relieve their throbbing pain, whereas Alec naturally wrapped a leg around one of his before sliding his hands down. Then, Magnus' groan was stifled by a lick.

Maybe they could go a little further if Alec agreed.

''Either we stop it here and swear to not touch each other for the rest of the night or we can continue,'' Magnus breathed removing the hair strands on Alec's forehead.

He was amazingly reasonable and wondered sincerely how it was possible.

He couldn't help kissing the lips that Alec was currently biting to control his breath. He was really handsome with his eyes shining with lust, his swollen lips, his red skin covered with bites and kisses, and his tattoos... Magnus stared at him, lost in the contemplation of the innocent young man that he was going to pervert.

''And how do we continue ?'' Alec managed to murmur while staring at his lips.

''By removing our bottoms,'' Magnus clarified before sliding again a hand under his pants.

Alec froze, slightly winced and probably not ready for the next step. But Magnus knew somehow that he was curious, he could see it, despite his reluctance imposed by his modesty.

''It'll be embarrassing,'' Alec finally whispered with a frown.

Magnus could have say that he had kind of already seen him the other day in the bathroom but he didn't and wondered why would it be embarrassing ? Alec was extremely modest and Magnus could already guess that it would provoke some issue in the near future when he would have to be entirely naked in front of him.

He wondered with concern whether his modesty was the consequence of something in connection with his father or the fact that he was still not open about his homosexuality. But it could also be and only be a character trait. He was extremely reserved with no self-esteem so...he was really like a cute little turtle who wanted to hide in his shell for any reasons.

Magnus chuckled against his neck, after imagining it. ''You'll like it,'' he said while rolling his hips.

He just had to be persuasive enough to entice him, he knew how to do it after all.

''Is that your revenge ?'' Alec asked with narrowed eyes, but he was slightly smiling.

''More like a bonus,'' he smirked.

''And in what honor ?''Alec asked before nibbling his chin.

Magnus was pretty amazed but he fact that Alec was more daring in bed than he was usually.

''Because I'm worth it and it'll feel good.''

Currently he was the one who felt very good.

''Okay,'' he agreed, not without worry.

Magnus' smile widened seeing his curious and slightly anxious stare. And he remembered that he wasn't supposed to have seen his tattoo on the hip and that he had to be excited as he had often made a fuss about it. He was still excited about seeing it so he didn't have to pretend.

''I can finally see the famous tattoo,'' he cheerfully said.

Alec chuckled nervously ''When you have finally seen the tattoo that you were so desperate to see, you're going to ask me to put back on my pants.''

Magnus hesitated for a moment and decided to undress without any shame and nonchalantly, in a way to show his amazing body and especially to put Alec at ease with nakedness. He suddenly felt nervous and shy with the way Alec was staring at him : with curiosity and something else that made him want to smile widely and stupidly. But Alec suddenly looked away with a frown and what looked like guilt. As if it was a sin for having looking at the naked body of a man.

Magnus hurried to lean over him and kissed his belly to reassure him. ''There's no shame in this, do you need my help ?''

He put his hands on his hips and began to lower his pants when Alec let out a strangled noise and grabbed his wrists.

''Wait.''

Eyes focused on his hipbone and the tip of the sticking tattoo, Magnus looked up reluctantly, fearing to hear a _'I changed my mind'_. They stared at each other for a long time and Alec took a deep breath whereas Magnus touched his hips more insistently, struggling against his desire to lower everything completely.

Obviously, Alec didn't feel at ease at all.

''What are you afraid of ?'' he softly asked.

''It's what I'm asking myself.''

So he didn't know and was clearly thinking too much.

Magnus stared at his face and leaned on his stomach where he slid his tongue along the edge of his pants. He licked his pale skin in a teasing way and Alec stiffened before moving again.

''Okay, you can undress me now,'' he whispered in a strangled voice.

Magnus couldn't hold back a wide smile and made a noise of satisfaction before pulling. Alec stiffened and closed his eyes. But Magnus didn't do anything except carefully looking at his naked body-enjoying what he was seeing- the eyes focused on the balance. Now, he could see it closer and in better conditions as he could have only stolen a glance before. It suited him : honesty, moral... Alec was a bad liar for his own good anyway. He couldn't resist the urge to kiss this tattoo as he had done with all the others.

''You who wanted to see it so much... not too disappointed ?''

''You mean your tattoo ?'' Magnus joked hoarsely with a cheeky smile before kissing it one last time.

His eyes converged on his manhood, he knew it was the time or never to show him what it looked like and the sensations it would bring him. Magnus was ready to do anything to make him feel good and to show him that sex, even between two men, was pleasant and natural. Alec flinched when Magnus' mouth moved in a trail of kisses to his erect member.

''Hum...Magnus, do you mind if you removed your head from there ?'' he managed to ask with a voice sharper than usual.

But Magnus didn't remove his head from there as he wanted to make him feel good. He used his tongue, his lips and finally his whole mouth to make him sink into pleasure but Alec was still tense and worried about him with his 'what about you ?'

It made him stop doing what he was currently doing and Alec took the opportunity to draw him above, cupping his face too sharply and making Magnus look at him with a slight frown.

''You don't like it ?'' he asked anxiously, placing his arms on either side of his head.

It was his first time seeing someone who didn't like blow jobs and it didn't really surprise him but he saw at his red face and his incredibly embarrassed look that he was more embarrassed than anything else. Maybe it had been too intense for him.

Whereas an awful redness was spreading over Alec's face which made him nestle his head into his neck to hide his embarrassment, Magnus kissed his neck.

''Let's leave that for later, for when you'll take your revenge,'' he whispered against his skin.

''What can I do to you then ?'' Magnus whispered back against his ear, before nipping his earlobe and giving him a hip roll.

Alec's hands made a stronger pressure on his lower back and he moved his hips upward.

''This, and it's more than okay,'' he said before capturing his mouth and brushing his lips with his tongue.

Magnus fondly smiled and grabbed their erections with one hand, making both of them gasped. His hand was rubbing and stroking them together insistently.

Alec stifled a groan against his golden skin, holding him tighter against him, which encouraged the latter to squeeze harder and to move his hand faster while consistently rolling his hips against his. Their breath and heartbeats quickened and their bodies became hotter. Magnus stuck his lips against his shoulder, almost shoving his teeth into his flesh and sucking it with the black lines forming the Moon. He didn't expect Alec to touch him and shuddered when he felt his hand on his manhood, before staring at him with surprise.

''Sorry,'' Alec apologized in a breath against his mouth.

With a little smile, Magnus bit his chin and took his hand that he put on the object of their concerns. Alec imitated the gestures he had given him earlier and Magnus shut his eyes which were blinded by pleasure.

After coming, Alec rested his head on the pillow, panting, with bright eyes and his lips and forehead damp. He was particularly beautiful, and Magnus couldn't help kissing him passionately. He stared at him for a while, before resting his head in the hollow of his neck to calm down and waited for his heartbeats to slow down before wiping the evidence of their pleasure off his belly and his own. Then, he casually got out of the room, feeling exhausted but satiated.

When he returned in the room, Alec had wrapped himself in the sheets to cover himself and was half asleep. With a big smile he lay down beside him and took him in his arms, making him open one eye.

Magnus kissed his forehead and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep. The evening had been long and quite challenging, but it had ended very well, he thought with a big smile. Alec let out a little groan when Magnus squeezed him harder against him and stuck his lips against his neck.

''Good night,'' he murmured in a sleepy voice.

Magnus nodded, rubbing his chin against his cheek and felt his smile against his skin.

''Was it scary ?'' Magnus grumbled after a few seconds, with a slight smile as he was too sleepy to widely smile as he wanted.

''No.''

Magnus snorted and fell asleep.

He was awoken by Chairman Meow who brushed and tickled his foot with his fur. He grunted and turned, feeling something warm and very human against his arm. He smiled while opening one eye, glad to see Alec still in bed, and closed it, blinded by the light, before opening both to stare at his naked body.

Satisfied, he closed his eyes after coming closer to him and opened them again when Alec moved. He couldn't help smiling when the latter turned on his stomach, buried his head under the pillow and stopped moving. Magnus kissed his shoulder, which he stared at for a long moment before falling asleep again. He then woke up intermittently and decided this time to caress what he saw, the pale flesh under his eyes with his fingertips, before pressing his body against him and dropping a long kiss on his shoulder.

He woke up later and this time Alec was on his back, his forehead glued to his shoulder. He straightened up, wondering where the blankets were and seeing that the sheets had deserted the bed, decided to cover Alec with his body. He didn't crush him, he just pressed himself closer and put an arm and a leg across his body.

He felt much better in this position and smiled happily before beginning to hope that every morning would be like that.

He frowned when he heard the sound of a door and opened an eye upon Chairman Meow's meowing. Alec was gone. Magnus gazed at the empty space next to him, where a few moments before Alec was lying down. He sighed and groaned.

He wasn't working today, he could afford to sleep more but he was now fully awake despite his eyes which kept shutting themselves automatically.

He wished Alec could have stayed but reality was always there to ruin everything and especially with Idris. He hopped that everything would go well for Alec today, despite what had happened yesterday.

He finally got up, weary of his cat's ever more insistent meowing, and went into the kitchen, annoyed by a phone buzz and once his phone in hand, was slow to understand that there was another one. He glanced tiredly at his coffee table in front of the TV and saw Alec's phone prominently. He took it with a frown hoping that he wouldn't need it today.

Magnus intended to ignore the buzz sounds but he couldn't help himself being curious about who was calling. It was Max.

He smiled, he certainly wanted to make a report of what had happened the day before. Catarina had already told him how their evening in a club had been chaotic after the Robert effect. He would just pick up the phone and told him that his brother had forgotten his phone at his place and that he would return it to him in the evening.

''Hello, it's Magnus,'' he hastened to say. ''Alec forgot his phone.''

He felt incredibly nervous and the little brother's silence didn't make things better.

''Oh,'' he only said.

Magnus realized that he knew only since last night that Alec and him were together, maybe he had just remembered it and it was weird to know that his big brother -especially the way he was- had gone out with him and had spent the night with him.

''Hi,'' he greeted him more cheerfully.

''Yeah, hi !'' chuckled Magnus. ''Did you have fun yesterday with Izzy and Jace ?''

''Only because there were pizzas,'' he grumbled.

Magnus' smile widened and he suddenly remembered that if Robert hadn't messed up their evening, Max would have spend the weekend with Alec, as often.

''I'll give back his phone to him tonight,'' he softly said. ''Like this you can call him and complain about your siblings later.''

Max snorted and suddenly apologized. ''I'm sorry for yesterday, it wasn't planned.''

''I know, don't worry.''

But thanks to that, he had been able to bring Alec home.

''Your father seems to be someone quite intense, especially with Alexander,'' he casually said.

''He is, he has always been this way with him.''

''Izzy once told me that you knew something, what is it ?'' he asked while leaning against his couch.

''Nothing, there's something going on but I don't know what. I even searched through my parents' stuff and I found nothing.''

''What are you looking for ?''

''I don't know.''

Magnus looked at his his nail with pinched lips. "You know, he never tells me anything and I know it's the same for you..."

"It's always been like that."

Then Max told him about Alec and his abusive relationship with Robert, because yes Max also their relationship abusive, reassuring Magnus about what he had guessed.

"But you must have noticed that Alec is a bit like a robot sometimes, he doesn't show what he feels and he never says no."

Magnus narrowed his eyes. ''Uh...I agree about the robot thing, even with me he's not very demonstrative and affectionate sometimes but I can tell you that there's some progress,'' he proudly said before remembering that he was his little brother and that he couldn't very talk about it and in which circumstances. ''I'm a good teacher,'' he added with a wide grin. ''But Alexander already said no a lot of time, you know.''

Magnus told him very briefly about the beginning of their relationship.

''I was pushy and bossy so that was quite normal.''

"You burst his bubble," Max observed.

''A particularly thick bubble.''

They talked quite a long time about Alec for their delight and Max was glad to discover that his brother was becoming more and more human thanks to him. They had a common passion and had a tremendous time.

Max even told him that Alec had begun to change and that it wouldn't stop there, they just had to be patient. Magnus smiled, finding him once more adorable.

"Anyway I understand better now."

Magnus blinked. "You better understand what?"

"Why he's like that."

"And how he is ?" Magnus asked with a frown.

Max sighed as if he was dealing with someone incredibly stupid. Alec sighed in the same way when he was too insistent sometimes.

''That he has changed...It was nice speaking to you.''

''Likewise'' Magnus cheerfully said.

''This conversation never happened, okay ? Alec wouldn't like to know that we're talking about him behind his back.''

Magnus' smile widened. ''Right, have a nice day !''

''Yeah...oh, by the way, I'm sorry to say that but my parents don't like you as you didn't invest in Idris.''

Magnus' eyes widened and his upper lip curled up. Really ? He didn't remember at all.

''Maybe,'' he said. ''But honestly they would never like your brother's boyfriend, whoever he is...so it doesn't really matter...''

Robert had indeed told him that he had already heard about him and because of the circumstances, it could explain the murderous look he had given him.

''Don't worry, I like you. You seem nice and you make Alec happy, that's all what matter,'' Max softly said.

Magnus got strangely moved and cleared his throat.

''Yeah,'' was what he could only say.

And Max hung up. Magnus couldn't help smiling widely as if he was the most happy person in the world, under the jaded eye of Chairman Meow who was meowing, hungry as he was.

*

He didn't really talk about the Robert effect with anyone else, everybody wanted to forget that man and the horrible impression he had left them. Only Catarina had said an 'I understand better now' without developing and Magnus knew she was talking about all the Lightwoods children. Alec was taciturn, unconfident, and cold sometimes whereas his siblings were spendthrifts, troublesome but endearing. Every of them had found a way like any other to protect themselves and to exist; books or parties, but Magnus had to admit that Jace and Izzy were doing much better than Alec.

Especially for pretending to be fine.

Alec couldn't come to his party because of his family stuff, Magnus regretted not having asked Max if he knew something about it and why his brother had to go because Izzy and Jace knew nothing about it either.

He also hadn't dared to ask Max if Robert intended or hoped that Alec would hang out with a girl. He thought about this Laura from time to time, knowing that it wasn't her name, but it didn't matter. Maybe Robert had some expectations but still Alec was gay, there was no miracle recipe to make him straight.

Unless Alec tried but in this case they wouldn't be together, isn't it? And then, it was so stupid that it was unthinkable. He heaved a sigh, earning the worried stare of Catarina who frowned.

''What's wrong ?''

Magnus shrugged and after staring at him for a moment, she sipped her drink.

''I saw this boy the other day, you know the one that you have banned from your parties after his fight with Alec.''

''Donovan ?'' Magnus asked with confusion.

Catarina nodded. ''He has a very nice car now.''

''He must have find another job...I don't miss him!''

''I had guessed,'' she snorted, grinning at Clary who was coming towards them.

"Jace is drunk and Izzy is not any better," she sighed. "And I don't know where Simon is."

Catarina knew, he was with Ragnor and other people. Izzy even jumped on him to kiss him passionately.

''He'll take care of her, '' Magnus said. "Where is Jace?" he asked with a sigh.

Clary and Catarina gave him a suspicious look.

''What ?''

Catarina just smiled and went to see Ragnor while Clary and him were looking for the troublesome Jace, throwing up in his new plant he had bought recently.

Clary rushed at him as Magnus stared at him wondering what Alec would have done in such circumstances. He rolled his eyes and took him by the shoulders to take him to the toilet where he almost drowned him.

Fortunately, Clary was here.

"He's still upset with the thing with Robert," she murmured, passing a damp towel on his forehead.

Sitting on the edge of his bath tub, Magnus stared at them calmly, idly by.

''Like everyone else. ''

"You know, he didn't seem to like me that much,'' she said. ''But it didn't prevent him to offer me an overpriced painting.''

An incredulous smile appeared on her lips when she saw his face.

"I had the same reaction, and Jace and Izzy too."

''Because he learned that your mother is a well-known painter, you can sell it you know,'' Jace said in a hoarse voice while trying to stand up.

''I gave it to my mother,'' she said before asking him how he felt.

"Like someone who has drunk too much," he moaned.

He seemed better though.

''You tried to drown me,'' Jace hissed with narrowed eyes.

Magnus lifted his head. "You shoved your head into the toilet first, I just pushed a bit."

''That's what I said!''

Magnus rolled his eyes and went to see his other guests, not without thinking about the strange gift Clary had received. It was really weird but not really surprising all in all.

Two words could explain it: Robert Lightwood.

*

Nothing could be done, Alec didn't want to say anything about the mysterious family stuff that was keeping him busy lately. It probably had to be boring and more than burdensome but he didn't like to know that he was forsaken for something else. He couldn't be any match against his family and it made his heart sink to think about it. Magnus wanted to be part of his family in a way but there was no room for him.

Until now he had convinced himself to be happy with what he had as it was better than nothing, but now he wanted more, much more.

He wanted Alec to love him as much as he loved him, to be together more often, to simply talk and wanted Alec to give in more, but he knew it was too much to ask.

Even the few things Alec had left behind him at his place weren't enough. Magnus wanted more but didn't dare to ask for more, even to appease his tormented soul who was longing for so much more.

Even though, he had groaned when Alec had brought a particularly noisy alarm clock which rang whenever he came over to sleep, Magnus felt happy to see these two, three clothes, these few books, that alarm clock in his apartment. It meant that Alec would come back even if it wasn't often.

Obviously, Alexander wasn't ready and not thinking at all about moving in at his place. He already didn't dare to set foot at his place for the night and still had never used his keys.

Magnus hadn't spoken about it yet but he would, eventually.

Unfortunately, he was the only one to think for two and to see things in big. Magnus could easily imagine an _us_ in the future, seeing himself perfectly grow old with Alec even if their relationship was far from being perfect. There was this something that he couldn't name that made this relationship different from all the others. He couldn't explain how, but the fact was that he had noticed this difference, and that he was clinging to Alec because he knew he was the one he needed.

It was just a feeling, an intuition and up to that point Magnus had always followed his intuition which had never failed him.

Everything would end up well, as always, but it depended more and more on Alec.

**

Magnus was still sulking, Alec had turned him down once again for his family stuff. He really felt rejected and not important. They didn't consider the other with the same importance, which created an instability in their couple that Magnus found difficult to overcome.

It was just as well, Magnus was overworking and had to accompany Ragnor for a photography exhibition.

They met in the evening in front of an art gallery, reserved for the occasion. Magnus didn't even know who the photographer was or whether the exhibition had a theme or not. Alec would have hated, there were too many people and this world seemed rather hostile and snobbish.

"Forget Alec for the evening," Ragnor suggested with amusement.

"Is it a detox evening?" Magnus joked.

"If you want."

Magnus had to sadly admit that he might have forsaken his friends for Alec who had become like a drug to the point of making him sink into this new addiction. Ever since he had realized that he was attracted to him, Magnus, who until now had tried to lost himself in parties, no longer felt the need for it. He had settled down in a way as the void inside him had been filled by the one that made his heart beat. His friends were here of course but it wasn't the same thing, not the same need, not the same desire.

''Do you think I neglect you ?'' he suddenly asked his friend with worry.

Ragnor blinked while folding a brochure about the exhibition. Magnus also took one without reading anything written on it.

''No, I would have told you, Catarina too,'' he softly said. ''We're pretty glad you're with Alec, you look better, you don't party as much as before.''

Magnus stared at him.

''Before it was like you were trying to find something, you know what I mean ? Now you look honestly better and you're less troublesome than before since you have Alec,'' he added with a grin.

Magnus huffed and gave him an offended look. Ragnor affectionately patted his shoulder with this same smile and stood in front of a large black and white photo depicting a spider web beaded with raindrops.

"I could have done better," Magnus said dubiously.

Ragnor snorted. ''Me too.''

''You know he prefers his little brother and his family stuff to me?''

''Who ?'' asked with confusion Ragnor.

''Alec,'' Magnus replied with a roll of eyes.

''It's understandable, Max is cuter than you.''

Those words earned him a painful nudge which made him wince.

''And what family stuff ?''

''I don't know, maybe family meals where Izzy and Jace are not invited.''

''Those Lightwoods are weird,'' simply said Ragnor.

''Tell me about it,'' Magnus mumbled.

They went here and there, looking at some pictures with more interest than others. Magnus was beginning to believe that he was thinking too much about Alec in front of the picture of the naked back of a man. The shadows and lights effects emphasized the musculature, softening their lines while giving them a certain strength and power.

Magnus saw Alec everywhere and it disturbed him.

''You're obsessed with him, '' Ragnor grumbled, giving him an exasperated look.

"Love is an obsession in a way, you must not overstep some limits if you don't want it to turn into a psychosis, that's all."

''Like ?''

''Respect your significant other, his differences, his intimacy, his desires, like his desire to not see me because of a family stuff or a little brother, or because he wants to read quietly at home and doesn't want to go out.''

Ragnor snorted. ''Alec is a homebody.''

Magnus nodded. ''He's like a cat, he needs space, affection -when he wants- and you have to let him come to you.''

''It works ?'' teased him Ragnor.

''Yes,'' Magnus said with confidence, staring one last time to the back in the picture.

He went home in a good mood, not without a thought for Alec, wondering how was his evening. He pulled out his phone from his pocket to send him a message and confusedly noted that he had tried to reach him several times.

So many times that it was abnormal.

Chairman Meow welcomed him with a meowing and pawed what seemed to be one of his rings.

Alec had also sent him a text that made no sense. Worried and increasingly persuaded that he had been drinking, he tried to call him unsuccessfully. He tried again before taking a shower, after and one last time before going to bed.

He was worried and wondered why he had drunk again.

 _I'll call him tomorrow,_ he thought before turning the light off.

The next day, he got a message from the latter when he was applying a black nail polish on his nails. With a relieved smile, Magnus read his text and called him.

''I was worried, it was so unlike you… What happened ?''

Alec didn't answer right away.

''Alcohol.''

Magnus sighed, it had been quite obvious.

''It must have been worse than last time,'' he stated pensively.

Alec dodged the explanations to ask if he was still sulking.

Magnus huffed, of course he was. He didn't feel important and was neglected. ''I don't,'' he answered though.

''Not anymore,'' murmured Alec with amusement. ''Max is coming tonight.''

''So we won't see each other this weekend?'' Magnus asked reluctantly.

He knew it and felt dejected.

''If you don't mind a pizza party and bickering, you're welcome.''

Mqgnus blinked, surprised to be invited over. It seemed that Alec finally agreed to integrate him and mix him with his little brother. Magnus smiled, and with such a big smile that it was painful.

''See you tonight,'' he cheerfully said before hanging up.

Everything will get better, indeed. He couldn't wait to see him.

And he didn't regret it.

Alec, seeing him waiting in front of his building, brightly smiled at him and Magnus felt his heart jumped in his chest. He then got kissed passionately and discovered that he wasn't the only one to have missed him.

''I'd like to be welcomed like this more often,'' he whispered, taking his face in his hands and kissing him lengthily.

Alec, who seemed in a good mood and rather affectionate, hugged him and kissed him softly and meticulously as if he didn't want to miss one centimeter of his mouth. Magnus' smile widened and hands went down on his hips to pull him closer against him in order to further their embrace.

They pulled apart, reluctantly, and entered the building, stealing a glance at the other with a little smile.

''Max isn't here yet? '' Magnus asked , once in front his apartment's door.

Alec shook his head and opened it in a key rattling. Magnus grinned, it was perfect, he could show how much he had missed him in this case. That was why he literally pushed him inside and fell upon him with a predatory smile.

''Okay, we have a little time for us then,'' he murmured without paying attention to the interior and by the fact that it was only the second time that he was at Alec's place.

Alec kissed him first in the neck, almost shyly but perfectly knowing that Magnus loved being kissed there.

They didn't move from the entrance and were kissing like two schoolboys in heat. Magnus pressed Alec against the wall with eagerness, and glued his body to his. They were furiously kissing, touching with their lips and tongue all that could be kissed and which weren't cluttered with clothes. Their hands were also moving actively seeking to caress the other as much as possible through the tissues between them.

Magnus slipped a leg between his, pressing on purpose in the right place and pressed up harder against his hips. He smiled with satisfaction when Alec clung harder to him and hurried to undress his upper body, not caring about the fact that Alec's arms were still in the sleeve of his shirt. His mouth moved eagerly to his shoulders, his collarbone, scraping with his teeth and caressing with his tongue the pale skin he made red with his mouth. He shivered when Alec did the same with his clothes and kissed his bare shoulder more softly and less savagely than he did with a groan, Magnus raised his head and captured his lips with avidity.

His eyes widened and a shiver of pleasure swarmed in his lower abdomen when Alec's hand stroked with a light gesture his torso, and moved lower to touch his manhood that he gently grasped through his night blue pants. It was too shy, almost hesitant but still, Alec had dared and Magnus felt weirdly proud. He did more and in a more daring way. He undid Alec's belt and pulled it with a snap before dropping it on the floor, the arm outstretched. It didn't take him long to unbutton and unzipped his pants and slid a requesting hand into his underwear.

When Alec threw his head back, Magnus rushed on his neck that he hastened to nibble, suck, and lick before remembering that he couldn't.

The Robert threat was still there.

Alec kissed his hair in a fond gesture, probably happy he had remembered this fact and he unbuttoned in pants in order to touch him better. Magnus hastened to bite his shoulder playfully when he saw his satisfied smile and let out a groan when Alec's hand squeezed tighter.

It wasn't enough and being stuck against Alec, standing, began to be uncomfortable and frustrating. His lips were as swollen as aching, and if his kisses softened his hands didn't as they were kneading Alec's backside while crushing his hips against his.

But suddenly, Alec stopped being responsive and kissing him. Magnus continued to be affectionate before raising his head and following his gaze, wondering what was going on.

Max was there, staring at them with wide eyes and a wince which showed how embarrassing it was for him to be there, and to see what they were doing. Their eyes met and Max blushed, embarrassed.

''I should have knocked, '' he apologized sheepishly while averting his eyes.

Magnus raised an eyebrow, it wouldn't have changed anything.

He brightly smiled a him. ''Hi, you're more early that I expected ! Do you mind if...,'' he trailed off with a suggestive smile, sure that he would understand.

''I can wait outside,'' Max hastened to say with a nod before putting his bag on the floor and shutting the door.

Alec, who was holding his breath the whole suddenly breathed out against his shoulder where he pressed his forehead. His ears and his neck were red, Magnus noticed with amusement before pressing himself against him, ready to resume where they had stopped.

''We can't go on,'' he protested with a frown.

Magnus straightened up and frowned, before noticing his scarlet cheeks that he affectionately stroked.

''And why not?'' he murmured while pressing his hips against his.

''Max saw us and he's waiting outside.''

It was a good argument but not enough to not go on. It had begun so well and Magnus wanted to deepen what wouldn't happen anytime soon. They still hadn't done anything besides some rubbing, hand jobs and blow jobs and he would like more, feeling that Alec was getting more and more responsive.

But he was right, Max was waiting outside and ha had to stop thinking with his lower abdomen.

''Right,'' he said. ''But he'll still have to wait until we calm down,'' he whispered, as they were still hard, before resting his chin on his shoulder.

Alec leaned his head against the wall and stroked his hair absently whereas he was breathing his smell and his warmth.

''Magnus? Could you take your leg away, it doesn't help me...''

He hadn't removed his leg at all which was still pressed against his crotch, no wonder he was still hard.

''Oh,'' he realized before removing it.

Alec softly smiled and kissed his temple. Magnus grinned as always when he was affectionate, and kissed his shoulder where were traced out his Sun and Moon tattoo with his nose. Their cuddle session would soon come to an end, but he wanted to enjoy this moment and its warmth to recharge. A hug was always good and although it was rare, those of Alec were the best.

''We'll continue later,'' promised the latter in his ear.

Magnus lifted his head and pressed his forehead against his. These moments of doubt concerning the solidity of their relationship disappeared as soon as they were together or as soon as Alec was affectionate as a way to say _"hey you worry too much, everything is fine"._ But he knew that everything wasn't fine, there were too many unspoken words that prevented them from moving forwards and to fully enjoy themselves, about what they were and what they represented.

Perhaps he was too demanding compared to Alec who was in his first relationship. He had extenuating circumstances to behave as he did, but Magnus sincerely hoped that he would open up more.

Even though Alec was more spontaneous with his little brother, he didn't really give in either. He was on his guard and almost suspicious. Magnus knew he shouldn't be so relieved, but he couldn't help himself. He wasn't the problem nor Max but Alec had one.

It was only the second time that Magnus had come over, and he didn't mind that much. He knew from the beginning that it would be easier to bring Alec into his world rather than him into his own. Alec's apartment was filled with books, most definitely a loophole against his solitude and a way to escape the family pressure. There was also something else. If the simplicity and lack of decor showed his lack of taste and interest for that, his room revealed a lot more.

There was a single bed and some furniture around, nothing stunning, but Magnus stared at the bed with a frown. He joked and said that it had a certain charm and it had, but he could only see loneliness in that bed. As if Alec planned to live his life alone.

It was certainly the rest of the apartment that made him think this way. It seemed absurd, ridiculous but honestly, all Alec's apartment reflected him well: simple, unassuming, and sad.

The walls breathed the sadness and solitude in which Alec loved to take refuge.

No wonder, Magnus was eager to make him move in with him and the sooner the better, as he could feel Robert Lightwood's influence everywhere.

His appartment was sure, brighter and better in every aspects, far away from his issues with his family. But Magnus knew that Alec wouldn't leave his apartment overnight and wasn't really sure he would one day.

It was as if Alec would be led to make a choice between him and his father, and Magnus wasn't sure about liking what had led him to think this way, if not his thoughts tortured by anxiety, love, fear, the doubts and the affection he had for Alexander.

He felt as if he had stumbled on an unsure and false situation, based on his subjective observations on a man he didn't like and whom he loved the eldest son. It became more and more slippery and more and more gloomy.

Magnus hoped that the silence wouldn't harm their couple knowing full well that Alec wouldn't be the only one to blame, if they fell apart someday, as it was necessary to be two to form one.

*

He overworked and regretted having pushed everything back until the last moment. He was now overwhelmed and didn't know which way to look. He winced when he felt a particularly powerful and painful headache twisting his head. Massaging his temples didn't do anything, so he took a pill and went to bed where he thought with a small smile about Max and Alec who were probably having fun.

''Chairman Meow,'' he sighed after hearing his cat.

He stood up with a growl to see that his cat was playing enthusiastically with a small black box that looked strangely like the little eyeliner pot he had bought the other day. No wonder there were black marks here and there in the living room, especially black paws.

Magnus stared at the tabby cat and caught him. He went into the bathroom, put the little pot next to the faucet and opened the tap, the cat firmly pressed against him.

''You misbehave a lot lately,'' he said with narrowed eyes, not pleased.

The cat didn't move when he got under the warm water and pulled out his tongue to better catch some drops, softening Magnus who didn't stay angry.

He then cleaned up the black prints before returning to bed for good this time, his headache sending waves of pain.

When he woke up, he wondered confusedly why he had a pillow in his arms without noticing the warmth coming from his back or the arm around his waist. He frowned when he felt a leg against his and lowered his eyes, noticing a pale arm and familiar black lines on it. He blinked, suddenly wide awake, gently wrapped his fingers around his wrist, which he carried to his lips, and turned around.

Alec was sound asleep and didn't react when Magnus pinched his nose. With a small smile, the latter slipped the pillow, which had been in his arms a little earlier, under his head and stared at his sleeping face.

It was the first time that he used his keys.

Magnus lightly kissed the usually frowning space between his eyebrows and wondered if Max had returned to their parents's place and why Alec had ended their fraternal weekend. He wasn't going to complain anyway.

With a mischievous look, he had fun by brushing Alec's skin while touching his tattoos with his fingertips and light gestures. Alec finally grunted and turned around, he certainly found that even in his sleep Magnus touched him too much.

The latter pressed his body against him contentedly before sticking his face into his neck where he lengthily inhaled, ready to fall asleep, while sticking his lips against his skin.

Half-awake, he felt Alec moving and pulling out from his arms. The mattress moved, the comforting warmth that had enveloped him flew away with his owner, and he heard footsteps with some whispers.

He had to wake up but lacked the will, he stayed in bed a few more moments and stood up, hearing some noises from the kitchen. He pulled up his pajama and walked out of the room after stretching and yawning.

Alec slowly turned, a smoking cup in the hands that he handed him in a wary way, maybe he felt bad to have entered like a thief during the night whereas he had finally behaved like a lover. Magnus stared at the cup for a moment, blinking, firmly struggling to keep his eyes opened and took it before grumbling a thank you inaudible.

''When did you come in ?'' he finally asked clearly in a hoarse voice.

''Around 4:00 am I'd say...I couldn't sleep,'' Alec simply answered while glancing at him.

''You should have pulled the pillow from me.''

''And wake you up ?'' he asked with a little smile.

Magnus smiled, more awake after burning his tongue with his tea, then he put down his cup and took him in his arms, enjoying the fact that he was still not dressed.

''What about Max?''

''He had things to do at home so he went back early.''

Magnus nodded, it was perfect then they could spend some time together. He mentally thanked Max and lengthily kissed Alec's temple.

''You seem so tired,'' Alec noticed while touching his cheek.

Magnus nodded, remembering that he had a very painful headache the night before. ''I had a lot of things to do...,'' he grumbled and he still hadn't finished them actually.

''Let's go back to bed then,'' Alec suggested.

Magnus contentedly nestled his face into his neck and felt his smile against his shoulder. He had no desire to move, his breathing became regular and although they were standing, huddled together, this position was very comfortable. Alec was the first one to move and led him into his room, still holding him in his arms, making him walk backwards.

Once in the big bed, Magnus snuggled against him with a satisfied smile, wanting to take advantage of his presence as much as possible. He didn't immediately think about his revenge or to the fact that Alec had promised that they would continue what they had started so well before being interrupted by a certain little brother.

Perhaps they would have already done what they had never done before.

Magnus remained inert at first, just enjoying the warmth and presence of Alec in his arms before letting his hands wandered over his terribly tempting body. His hands caressed his back in vertical lines along his spine before touching the bottom that he cupped. Alec grunted and gave him a small stroke with his nose in the neck. Magnus smiled and playfully nipped his shoulder. He was fully awake now and wanted to play, and for real this time.

But Alec didn't react, not even when Magnus pressed his butt harder or showered him with kisses. He smiled victoriously when he finally reacted and kissed him in the hollow below the ear before letting his lips stuck in the same place.

''We'll play later,'' he whined.

''When later?'' asked Magnus while pulling his hand up along his thigh.

''When I'll be fully awake,'' Alec whispered.

Magnus sighed in his hair. ''And now you're fully awake?''

He knew that he was tired, he was too but he was really turned on now.

Alec slightly grinned and raised his head to kiss his jaw. ''Not yet.''

''And now ?'' asked Magnus nibbling his ear lobe.

''What time is it ?'' he asked in a resigned tone.

Magnus frowned. ''Why ?''

And he squeezed him tighter against him in case he decided to leave, he hadn't been enticing enough then.

''I want to know if it's play time,'' murmured Alec in a tired voice.

Magnus immediately looked for his phone and didn't found him.

''My phone is on the floor if you want,'' Alec lowly said.

Magnus immediately turned, crushed him under his weight, looking for his phone. He took the opportunity to slip an arm around his waist and dropped a kiss on his shoulder. Alec had received several texts from a Lydia, which rang a bell, from Max and from Robert. But he didn't try to read them.

''It's 2:00 pm, can we play?'' he asked while putting the phone down and correctly positioning his body on him.

He hadn't thought that it would be so late and wasn't dissatisfied, Alec could stay longer this way. He tenderly kissed him here and there, making him blink and smile.

''What do you want to play ?'' he asked.

Magnus brushed his lips in a teasing way. Did he have to say it ? He didn't mind but maybe it would be to crude for Alec and made him reluctant.

''Is it your revenge today?'' asked Alec who looked fully awake now.

Magnus stopped biting his chin. ''It depends if you want to.''

Revenge was clearly the synonym for sex and Magnus wondered since when it had replaced this word in a more playful way.

Alec stared at him. ''What about you?'' he asked while sliding his hands on his back.

Magnus leaned on his elbows on either side of his head, lightening him from his weight, to better caress his face and to better feel his.

''Well, you know what I want.''

They had naturally reached this stage but Magnus was still afraid to hurry him. He wanted more and wanted Alec to want the same. All his first times would be his and he wanted all of them to be memorable and make him beg for more. Their first kiss had been a failure and their first night together also had been one, given that Alec had been drunk. But there were all those little moments that had gone very well, those nights spent together huddled together, those evenings in front of the TV... It had never been perfect, it had been sometimes awkward but all these moments had been great.

Magnus only had to make that moment the same, with Alec's cooperation obviously.

The latter cleared his throat. ''I'm still worried about many things,'' he blurted out.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. ''Like what?'' he asked after kissing him.

He could already guess what kind of worried he had, ha patiently waited for him to carry on but Alec didn't. He only kissed him on the chin before looking away.

Magnus sighed and rolled on his side. ''Tell me.''

''I'm afraid to be really lame, and that you won't feel anything because I wouldn't know what to do. And...hum... it blocks me,'' he quickly said before looking up to meet his stare.

Magnus stared at him. He could understand, he perfectly understood his worries but there was a bigger one : his nudity And they needed to be naked to carry on what was planned.

''You forgot about your nudity,'' he said in a low voice.

''I'm uptight.''

''You're modest.''

''Does it matter?''

There was quite a difference. Modesty was a virtue, a a reserve way to not show his body in his case whereas being uptight...well maybe Alec was uptight somehow, but only because he was modest.

''I don't understand why you're handsome, you have what's needed where needed, and I love your body. We're both men so it’s supposed to make things easier.''

Alec sighed. ''Maybe I have a problem,'' he grumbled.

You create yourself the problems, wanted to say Magnus who just got an idea to make some progress.

''Undress.''

He should have choose an other way to say this word in a more beautiful way, less demanding and more nicely but Alec's unconfidence about everything got the better of him. Furthermore, he really wanted to see him naked.

Alec blinked and frowned, then, immediately put his hands on his hips to keep his boxer brief on, which got lowered by Magnus' demanding hands. Seeing him stiffen and wince, Magnus sighed. It wasn't the first time though.

''Do you want me to undress first?'' he firmly asked.

Alec didn't answer but keep staring at him when he undressed. Magnus threw the piece of cloth he was holding to the other side of the room and gave him a defiant gaze. He knew it would be too much to ask Alec to do the same and wondered if he would ever see him as confident and spontaneous. Probably never, he thought bitterly wondering how to make him change.

Magnus clearly loved Alec for two but it wasn't enough.

''It's because you're confident,'' squealed and winced the latter when Magnus tried to undress him from his underwear.

''What are you unconfident about ?'' Magnus asked in an exasperated tone.

Seeking to escape from his hands that had crept into his underwear, Alec pressed himself against him in a desperate attempt, making Magnus clenched his teeth. Perhaps he was too pushy and had to wait for him to be ready to undress.

''Alexander, I already saw you naked, remember?'' he insisted. ''And I already touch you many times, we even did...''

''Alright! Alright...'' surrendered Alec before removing Magnus' hands from the inside of his underwear.

The latter complied before grabbing him by the hips, and firmly held him against him to make sure he wouldn't run away.

''I can't undress this way,'' Alec stated.

Magnus withdrew his hands and watched every one of his moves skeptically. His gaze wandered over his naked body with satisfaction and he put his hands back on his hips before pressing up his body against his.

''How do you feel now?'' he teased with a smirk.

He was staring at him in the eyes, without touching him a lot, it should be okay.

''Naked,'' Alec answered awkwardly.

''I don't understand why you're so unconfident about your body, I mean I can, but you have no reason to be this way. And believe me, I know what I mean.''

''Can I redress now ?'' he uncertainly asked.

''No.''

His awkwardness and his desire to escape from this intimate moment and touch was palpable but Magnus wanted to make him use of being wanted, desired and looking at. Alec wasn't used of being looking at with love and desire. That could explain why Magnus kept looking at him this way while touching with his fingertips his hips, before exploring his body more familiarly.

Alec, who was most of the time tense, relaxed before responding to his caresses and when Magnus let his lips wander over his body and especially lower.

''You were never ever embarrassed by being naked?'' asked Alec with an uptight voice when he kissed his hip.

''No, why? Should I be?'' Magnus asked in a cocky tone against his skin before nibbling his balance.

Alec snorted. ''No, not at all.''

He was so glad that he had a tattoo there, otherwise how to explain his affection for his hip? Same for his left shoulder where he loved his tattoo of a Moon and a Sun. He particularly loved this tattoo because he could nestle his face there anytime for a hug while watching the black lines. It was perfect to be loving, while dropping passionate kisses in this sensitive area. It was a strategic place to show his affection for him. While the balance reminded more about lust and was linked to desire, as it could only be seen if Alec was entirely naked, and touching it and kissing it made the situation special and suitable for caresses.

He kept his lips on his tattoo to get him used to his presence and when Alec became less tense, moved lower and nibbled insistently his thighs in several places. Some of them were too dark and he wondered if they had been painful when he had made them. Magnus stared at the most purplish one, kissed it. and Alec slightly moved when his mouth closed on his erected member.

The purpose was to make him feel good and to show him how pleasant it was but Magnus thought that maybe he should have clarify that it was okay for him to grab his hair or to make thrusts movements. He wouldn't mind at all and, on the contrary, would be please to feel him more into it. He knew that he didn't dare, remembering how shyly Alec was touching him most of the time.

With his tongue, he expertly teased his manhood without using his teeth and felt Alec's hands in his hair.

''I won't last if you go on,'' murmured the latter.

Magnus could tell as he began to give in, he was letting go and for that he didn't mind if he came and wasn't able to go on. He gently pulled up his hands along his thighs, his hips, and his sides, and did something like a suction with his cheeks, his tongue always titillating the tip.

Alec tried to pull out when the time came but Magnus didn't let him, his arms wrapped around his thighs and hands firmly holding his hips against the mattress, and swallowed before closing his eyes when he felt the throbbing pain in his lower abdomen.

Alec didn't squirm, didn't try to free himself immediately from his grip or this embarrassing moment. Not like the other times, anyway.

Magnus took the opportunity to let his lips wander here and there, and flinched when Alec stiffened after he had bit his thigh too hard. He hastened to kiss the painful area and went up. His eyes were closed and he was breathless and slightly red.

He gently lay down on him and Alec opened his blue eyes.

''Seems like you learned your lesson,'' Magnus whispered in his neck and facing his questioning glance clarified. ''Staying naked without any shame and letting go, what did you think?''

His eyes widened and he flinched when Alec boldly slid his hand down along his body to seize his manhood before kissing him eagerly on the corner of the mouth.

''Teach me something else,'' he hastily whispered with a hip movement.

Magnus blinked and happily complied whereas Alec squeezed him harder against him.

He rolled his hips, rubbing himself against him and trying to drown himself in his kisses. His long hips thrusts became longer and more insistent, as if he was trying to print himself all over his body.

''Do you want me to do what you did to me?"Alec asked shyly when he slid his hands under his backside to raised his hips in order to better rub against him.

The blowjob would wait, he was too into it.

''Another time,'' he breathed kissing him with avidity.

Alec shoved his tongue into his mouth and Magnus carefully caught it between his teeth before sucking and nibbling it. A shiver ran through his spine and in his groin when Alec wrapped his legs around his waist, making him feel more intensely his body. Still kissing greedily and feverishly, Magnus kneaded his buttocks and his hips insistently, and his thrusts became more fierce than before.

His groin was in fire and he wanted to soothe the pain in his lower abdomen as soon as possible. His movements, frustrated and impatient, began to put him in agony. The rubbing against each other also began to be painful and didn't really satisfy them in spite of their insistence. Magnus wanted more but wasn't sure whether or not Alec was up to go further and all the way.

But it seemed that the latter had read his mind or simply knew how to interpret his body state.

''Want to do it?'' he managed to ask with a heavy breathing.

Magnus could only grunt and gave a stronger roll of his hips than the previous ones, making Alec capture his mouth eagerly before moving his hips upward. For a brief moment, Magnus thought about asking him if he seriously wanted to do it until the end because he wanted it and not because he was blinded by excitement. But he was too happy that he just wanted to do it to insist.

It had been a while since he was waiting for that moment and he couldn't hold back a triumphant smile.

He slightly tipped to the side and opened a drawer of his bedside table whereas Alec took the opportunity to be on top of him, for once, and did the same as he did earlier and devoured him with kisses. Magnus raised his eyebrows surprised, feeling a shiver of pleasure run through his body and he laughed before violently closing the drawer and switch Alec onto his back.

''I'll show you first,'' he said in an amused tone and putting what he had taken on the pillow.

Alec stared at the condom and the lube with curiosity and a slight frown.

It had been a while since he had bought these condoms, not since the beginning of their relationship, but since he had felt that their gestures of affection were no longer sufficient between them.

''Do you want me to use a condom?'' he asked.

And he regretted it, it would have been better if he had asked that before. The sensations were much better without one, Magnus had already tried a few times and preferred without it, while still being clean. He had always protected himself or had slept with clean and safe partners.

But perhaps it was too much to ask for a first time, an hygienic matter about not putting it all over although their crotch were already damp from their excitement.

''I always wear one but with you...should have wear one sooner, anyway I'm as clean as you,'' he clarified in case he had doubts.

Alec stared at him, seeming to consider the question without being able to answer properly.

''I'll wear one,'' Magnus finally decided for them before tearing the packing.

Alec frowned seeing the blue condom.

Surprise, wanted to say Magnus with a grin while putting it on.

''I respect the theme,'' he smirked while opening the lubricant. ''Which is blue eyes.''

Magnus coated his fingers and half put himself back on him while making Alec spread his legs. The latter tensed up when his hand slid down to his crotch, then inside of his thighs to finally reach the famous area.

''Relax,'' Magnus murmured against his ear and nibbling his lobe before inserting one finger.

After a slight wince and a frown, Alec slipped his arm around Magnus' waist and kissed him. Magnus smiled and embraced him with the same fervor while doing circular movements with his finger. Alec squeezed him more strongly when he inserted a second finger and bite his tongue, which made Magnus hissed in pain. He frowned and tried to soothe him, and himself, with a sweet kiss while continuing his circular movements and carefully studied his facial expressions to make sure he was not suffering.

Alec really looked uncomfortable, Magnus then tried to reach a particular spot inside him which made him lengthily exhaled with this new sensation. And he winced when Magnus inserted a third finger. Magnus hastened to kiss him in order to reassure him and to divert his attention from the pain, making more circular movements to accustom him to his presence.

After a while, Alec seemed less tense and more receptive.

''Ready?'' Magnus asked into his ear.

Alec blinked and nodded, Magnus gazed at him to make sure he was ready and took the lube that he spread, this time, on his member. He was slightly nervous, he was afraid to be too impatient, too demanding, to not listen to Alec's needs and to think only about his own pleasure. Magnus was scared of being carried away and being the only one to feel good. He knew that it could be painful and that with a bad bed partner or a disastrous first time, there was enough to end up traumatized.

He didn't want that, he wanted Alec to feel good, to surrender and want more. But it would be his first time and Magnus knew it wouldn't be perfect. He got on him and gently lifted his thighs that he softly stroked.

''I'm not flexible,'' Alec blurted out.

Magnus chuckled and wrapped his legs around his waist that Alec tightened. Then, he slid his hands under his buttocks and raised his crotch to stick it against his, while resting on his knees. Finally, he positioned himself at the required location and slowly sank into him while carefully watching his face.

When Alec kept his eyes shut and tried to open them while trying to keep a straight face, Magnus knew he had messed up by being too impatient and maybe too brutal. He should have wait longer and penetrated him slower. He didn't move but dropped a shower of kisses on his face to soothe the pain, fighting the urge to sink deeper into him.

Panting, Magnus looked at him with worry wondering whether he should wait before continuing. Alec seriously looked in pain and Magnus really didn't want him to be traumatize or to make him afraid of the pain of having sex with him.

''You can move,'' Alec managed to breathe against his chin.

He didn't look as if he wanted him to move though, that was why he didn't and tried to make him feel better by slipping his hand between their bodies to touch him while entering gradually and completely in him. He tried to soothe him by any means despite his desire to move and relieve the beats in his lower abdomen, enticed by Alec's warmth and tightness.

Alec pulled him closer and licked his lips with the tip of his tongue before kissing him passionately. Considering that now was a good time, Magnus kissed him back hesitantly and slowly pulled back and plunged back into him before rolling his hips with restraint. If Alec began to slightly relax in his embrace, Magnus was still a little tense, and this time, wasn't letting go despite his desire to succumb to Alec who enticed him with his hands and his lips.

His eyes widened when Alec suddenly grasped his buttocks to make him thrust deeper and faster into him while moving his pelvis. Magnus stared at him, surprised, almost shocked but glad that he was beginning to feel good. A wave of relief crossed his face and after kissing his chin, slid his arm under his thigh, lifted and blocked it under it to better and deeper thrust into him. Alec gasped and slightly frowned with the different sensation and Magnus hastened to nibble his lips before doing the same with the other leg.

Alec was obviously struggling to look straight into his eyes, unlike Magnus, who liked to look into his, to give a more intimate and more intense side, or even more meaning to it. But he seemed to appreciate the kisses, maybe more than the act in himself and Magnus couldn't blame him. The first time as a bottom was not necessarily pleasant and moreover he didn't really let go, probably because of shyness and because he didn't really know what to do.

Panting and his skin burning, Magnus closed his eyes and put his forehead against his chest before sticking his lips to his heart. He was still moving, beginning to let himself carried away by the waves of pleasure that crossed his body.

With Alec's lips between his teeth and eyes finally locked together, Magnus gave a stronger roll of the hips in a particular spot. Alec shivered and his hands sank into his back, making him shudder. With a predatory smile, Magnus did it again until Alec gave in and shut his eyes.

He hastened to kiss his jawline, scraping his skin with his teeth before nestling his face in his neck to lay his lips on his left shoulder. The rhythm of his thrusts became less steady, closer, more abrupt and his lips stuck against his skin as pleasure took him away, his hips still moving during and after his release. Alec kissed his jaw, almost lazily, trying to catch back his breath against his skin.

Magnus lifted his head, lengthily kissed his jaw before withdrawing, fell on him breathing heavily and intertwined their fingers together.

With his hazy eyed, Alec looked strangely beautiful with his black hair, short of breath, his red cheeks and his damp skin Magnus didn't dare to kiss him wondering what he was thinking and how he felt about their first time. He had seemed to enjoy himself toward the end, despite being quiet, muffling his moans against his skin, painful in some areas, and not very showing how much he felt good.

Honestly, If Alec hadn't bitten his shoulder or hadn't pressed him harder against him, Magnus wouldn't have known he had enjoyed it. He had felt and had seen it of course against his belly but he would have liked to hear or see the enjoyment on his face that he had hurried to hide from his eyes.

And even if Alec had come, it didn't mean that he had had an orgasm. Magnus did but he would have wanted Alec to have one too. He tenderly kissed his forehead, making him blink, smiled and stood up to throw away the blue condom, feeling exhausted and sore in a good way.

After throwing it away, he thought he might have said something like _'it felt good'_ or joking about his revenge that had come true but it was more than that. Besides, if he had made a joke Alec would probably have ran away right away.

And yet, he wanted to tell him that he had felt good and that next time it would even be better. They had to talk anyway about what they did and express everything to make Alec more at ease.

But he couldn't.

Magnus snorted when he saw that Alec had wrapped himself in the sheets and slept soundly. It was almost unbelievable. It could be extremely flattering and show that he had exhausted him in a good way but Magnus could only see that he had been already very tired and even more after.

Only one person could fall asleep right afterwards and it was definitely Alec.

Magnus grinned, kissed his hair and lay down beside him, regretting not giving him a handkerchief or something to wipe himself in order to feel more comfortable. He affectionately pinched his cheek and kissed his nose before curling up against him.

He just had to wait for him to wake up to find out how it had been. But he knew he could have been sweeter, he should and should have been less impatient. It could have been less painful.

Alec slightly frowned in his sleep, his eyelids moved, and Magnus gently put a finger between his eyebrows. He was probably having a bad dream or dwelling on something unpleasant. He grinned at the moments of affection Alec had for him and winced when he touched his shoulder. He was pretty sure to still have his teeth mark.

On the back and looking absently at the ceiling, Magnus felt something against his hip and gasped when he saw that the Sleeping Beauty was awake and wincing.

''Did you sleep well ?'' he teased, moving closer and holding him in his arms.

He hadn't slept long, an hour or two but not more and looked more awake now.

''I'm sorry,'' he sheepishly apologized.

Magnus frowned. Then, he too was sorry. Honestly it hadn't been a disaster and it was normal that it hadn't been sensational, despite Magnus' experience.

''Nonsense,'' he whispered, hiding his face in his neck and putting one leg over his.

''Not too disappointed?''

Magnus kissed his shoulder. It was strange that they could talk only after but not during the act. At the same time, their mouths were too busy doing something else and Alec would have been far too embarrassed.

''I wasn't and it was your first time Alexander if you were amazingly good in bed I would have been really worried.''

But Alec hadn't been bad either, just shy and as usual awkward but if he got used of being desired, naked and all those things related to sex, he would be a passionate and loving lover, Magnus could tell. He had a glimpse and what he had seen made him crave for more.

Alec smiled and Magnus hastened to kiss it.

''What about you?'' he finally asked, dying to know how it had been for him.

''You were as great as is expected from Magnus Bane.''

Magnus snorted, relieved and feeling suddenly embarrassed.

''And I think you can make me amazingly good in bed,'' Alec added in a light tone.

Magnus slightly smiled. ''It'll be better next time,'' he promised.

Alec stared at him pensively, his eyes focused on his lips without saying anything.

*

Alec had spent the night at his house and had left the next morning. And Magnus knew with the way he was walking that he was still in pain, and knew that it was his fault, because of his eagerness, his insatiability and his thirst for him. Once again, he could have been softer, more cuddly and less possessed by his sexual urges.

He wasn't surprised either, that he refused to return at his place waiting for his behind to be less painful.

Jace was organizing his house-warming party very soon and Magnus was looking for a gift, a trinket for him and only him as moving in with Clary was supposed to be a surprise. He wasn't supposed to know but had seen the other day Jocelyn who had split the beans. However he was surprised, because Jace had bought this new apartment, rather luxurious, as he had understood it, which meant with Robert's money, who must have suspected that it was for Clary and his son. Even though Robert had offered to Clary a painting after learning that her mother was a great artist, it made Magnus feel uncomfortable.

The way he had looked at Clary the other day had hit him, as the way he had looked at him.

Magnus felt uneasy about the whole thing maybe because he knew that Robert wouldn't be this lenient toward Alec.

Magnus was terribly jealous, more than he would admit. Jace and Clary had been together for a much shorter time than them and they already were sharing an apartment. But it wasn't exactly the same, the circumstances were different but they were still a couple, no matter their gender and their difficulties.

This may be what made him choose his gift : plastic ducks. He smiled while imagining Jace's face when the latter would open it. It was a great idea.

It was also his own fault, he respected Alec's silence concerning the issues between them and the fact that he knowingly ignored his intentions, Magnus didn't talk about it either and it applied to everything.

*

Alec would be late and Simon too, concluded Magnus seeing that everyone was already there and obviously knew that the little Max had surprised them in flagrante delicto of cuddling each other.

Magnus superbly ignored the silent laughter in the eyes of Ragnor and Catarina, and gave his gift to Jace, who narrowed his eyes.

''I'm scared to open it,'' he said with a frown.

''Open it,'' Magnus smirked who met Izzy's piercing eyes.

He looked away and grinned at Clary.

"So why this new apartment?" asked Ragnor. ''The one before wasn't that great?''

''All in good time,'' Jace said with a grin which made Izzy roll her eyes.

''It won't be a surprise,'' Izzy mumbled before sipping her drink, earning a sigh from Clary who asked her to pretend.

Magnus looked at the decoration of the apartment with interest and saw that Clary's presence was noticeable. He couldn't help feeling bitter and envious.

''So ?'' asked Izzy behind him.

Magnys turned with a slight frown. ''So what ?''

''You bought ducks ?'' yelled Jace, dumbfounded.

Catarina sighed and looked at him in a weary way whereas Ragnor clearly didn't care.

''I knew you'd like it,'' Magnus smirked. "Clary can take a few of them, of course," he added before turning his attention back to Izzy who was still staring at him.

''You were saying... ?''

Her smile didn't sound good. She moved closer, she was so close that Magnus felt the need to step back.

"Max saw you with Alec doing something quite intense so... I'd like to know what did you do ?"

Magnus blinked. ''Ask your brother.''

Izzy narrowed her eyes. ''Did you already...?''

''Ask your brother.''

''He won't say anything.''

''Exactly,'' Magnus said with satisfaction.

He knew she really wanted to know if they had slept together or not and Magnus wanted to tell her but it was something too much intimate. He was strangely uncomfortable with what had happened with Alec to talk about it as easily. Even though he had almost said everything about their relationship, what would happen in bed would stay private.

But Izzy didn't let go of it, and went back to see him when he was talking with Catarina on the couch.

''I can make you talk, '' she insisted.

Catarina politely smiled and took a sip of her drink whereas Magnus was staring at her with curiosity.

''Name your price.''

''Pictures of Alec when he was little and I may have a story or two to tell.''

Magnus stared at her with interest.

''Because as you already know, Alec isn't really talkative so...I'm not sure that you'll ever have this opportunity again,'' she smirked with mischief.

Catarina stared at them with amusement. ''If he hides something, he certainly has a reason to do so,'' she said.

''So did you sleep together ?'' Izzy asked.

Catarina raised an eyebrow and stared at Magnus who sighed.

''Is he cute ?''

''Very cute,'' she smirked wile looking at her phone.

Magnus stared at her, he really wanted to see. She had already guessed anyway. With a wide grin, she sat between them on the couch.

"Watch out now," she warned him with a grin.

And Magnus could see some pictures of an adorable younger Alec on her phone. _He has always been cute,_ he thought tenderly.

"Can you send them to me?" he asked.

Izzy glanced up from her phone.

''It won't be free.''

''What do you want to know ? We did it yes and it went well.''

Catarina stared at something in the room to show that she wasn't listening but as she was right next to them could hear everything.

''Really ?'' she asked soflty.

"I'm not going to give you all the details," he protested.

''I wasn't going to ask you anyway...So everything's fine?''

She often asked him as if she knew that Alec's silences were beginning to weigh on their relationship but that none of them wanted to admit out loud that something was wrong.

The bell rang and Jace let out a cry of joy. It must be Alec, he thought.

''Nothing's perfect,'' he simply said to elude the deeper meaning that had this question. ''And I won't dump Alec overnight...''

He wouldn't but he knew that if their relation went on like it did currently, he would threaten him about ending it. But just thinking about it scared him, what if Alec agreed and for good, finding it simpler to be alone and not to have an annoying and stifling boyfriend who wanted to know everything?

All in all, he wouldn't but he knew they had to talk heart to heart sooner or later or it would explode between them.

''Izzy, Alec is stealing your boyfriend ! And Alec is cheating on you, Magnus!''

The both of them looked up and frowned. Catarina glanced at him and stood up.

Simon walked towards him and Izzy with a big smile. ''Alec gave me his permission,'' he shouted with a satisfied smile.

"As if you needed it," Izzy said, pulling him to her to kiss him.

Magnus rose up and brightly smiled at Alec who was looking at him after having seen his present for Jace.

''You don't like your gift, Jace ?'' he teased while moving closer.

''What do you want me to do with those ducks ?'' the latter growled.

Magnus smiled and stared at Alec. They certainly looked more intimate and touched each other more easily. His mouth stayed a long time pressed against his temple, an arm wrapped around his waist. He didn't pay attention to the gaze of the others on them, too focused on Alec, as if they were alone.

''You're coming back with me tonight?'' he murmured.

Alec peered into his eyes and smiled. Magnus grinned back and softly kissed him on his lips and they were interrupted by Ragnor.

''Fortunately, Max isn't here,'' he said in an amused voice.

Magnus rolled his eyes and began to defend their reputation, while Alec slowly detached himself from him, uncomfortable to be at the center of attention.

 

Alec refused to look at him and carefully avoided his gaze throughout the meal when Clary and Jace announced that they were moving in together. Obviously everyone found that it too fast without daring to formulate it as crudely. Except Izzy.

''Isn't it too early to live together?'' she asked nonchalantly.

''Lucky you,'' bitterly said Magnus before sipping his glass of wine.

He instantly felt the look of Catarina and Izzy upon him.

''Your mother agreed?'' asked Catarina to Clary.

''She likes me,'' boasted Jace.

Magnus rolled his eyes and explained in a whisper to Catarina that Alec was reluctant to move in with him.

''It will happen naturally,'' she simply said before smiling.

Magnus knew it but he couldn't help feeling uneasy as long as Alec and him weren't really together, as if it was a way to bind him. Alec could escape at any moment and live together would be a way to understand him better, to know better how to interpret his silences, his mood changes, and that eternal frown he had, as now.

This eternal preoccupied look of which Magnus wanted to know the origin.

Despite all the love he had for him, Alec was frustrating him again and again.

Especially when he suddenly stood up to go in the kitchen. He apologized politely and Magnus had heard the word phone as an excuse to be able to isolate himself. He followed him with the eyes, slightly anxious. Aside from this frown, nothing could be read on Alexander's face.

He stayed in the kitchen for a long time.

Izzy even looked at the time on her phone before casting an anxious look toward the kitchen, but Alec finally came back and frowned when he saw Magnus and his sister's eye on him.

''What's wrong ?'' he asked while glancing at Magnus.

''Nothing, everything's okay ?'' asked the latter.

''Yes,'' Alec said.

Izzy smiled, Magnus didn't. Everything wasn't okay and he wondered an umpteenth time whether Robert was involved or not. As always.

Jace and Clary's housewarming little party was going well, so much that everyone wanted to stay a little longer except Alec who kept glancing at his watch.

"You wanna go home?" Magnus whispered with amusement.

''Not you ?''

Magnus grinned and cleared his throat. ''We're going back !'' he declared, interrupting Simon, who was mimicking an elephant to make the others guess the word he had picked.

"A tree?" suggested Ragnor with narrowed eyes.

''An octopus!'' shouted Jace while standing up.

Simon rolled his eyes and resumed his imitation.

"Are you going back now?" Jace asked.

Magnus, who had got up, gently pulled Alec by the arm, snatching him from the comfort of the couch.

"Yes, I was delighted to see your little cozy nest to you and Clary but honestly Simon and his elephant..."

Alec rolled his eyes and stared at him.

"Because you would have done better?" asked the latter, offended.

Magnus smirked. ''Pick an other one.''

Alec greeted everyone politely, unlike Magnus who was waiting for him in the entrance.

"Have fun with my ducklings," he simply said to Jace and Clary with a big smile.

''You too and cuddle each other when Max is not around, '' Jace retorted sullenly.

''That's what they do,'' Izzy added with a big smile from the couch. ''Have fun !''

Embarrassed and red, Alec opened his mouth to say something before changing his mind to rush outside.

 

Alec knew for their moving in, his father had told him. Magnus looked at him unsurprisingly and tried to imagine what their conversation might have looked like. He wanted to ask him about the expensive painting Clary had received but Alec was lost in his thoughts, preferring to look through the window of the taxi.

Magnus would have liked to talk about several things but obviously Alec wouldn't listen to him. He would have liked to tell him about his moving in to his place, to tell him that if he had any worries he was there ready to listen and he was tired of being ignored or to not be trusted enough.

He was there but it didn't seem good enough.

 _What can I do?_ he wondered with a frown.

He knew deep down what to do but he was afraid of being rejected, or to seem too intrusive, or too annoying.

There was no room for him in Alec's bubble and it hurt.

Physically they had never been so close and intimate, Magnus glanced at Alec's hand near his leg and gently squeezed it, intertwining their fingers together. Alec automatically squeezed back his hand in a natural gesture but he wasn't looking, he wasn't here.

Magnus had his body but not his heart and even less his mind. Maybe it was easier to offer his body than his soul but Magnus wanted him entirely.

It had to change. He had to stop being afraid of being pushed back. He was here and had to show it.

''You look preoccupied,'' he murmured after taking Chairman Meow in his arms. ''You want to talk about it?''

''I'm not so there's nothing to talk about,'' murmured Alec while going to the bathroom.

And it would be particularly difficult if he avoided the subject each time. It didn't matter that it wasn't a big deal or that it was ridiculous and not important. They needed to talk.

Magnus dropped his cat and followed him before leaning against the sink.

''It's about Max?''

He almost huffed when he saw an annoyed gleam in Alec's eyes which disappeared immediately when he avoided his gaze.

''Alexander?'' he insisted, seeing that he intended to ignore him in order to be able to brush his teeth peacefully.

''I told you it was nothing,'' he firmly said to end this poor attempt of a conversation.

Magnus narrowed his eyes, wondering if he should insist while knowing that Alec would eventually leave to avoid any disagreement. He scowled and glared at his stubborn silence. Their eyes met in the large mirror and Alec almost flinched when he noticed his angry face.

They were both to blame for this situation but resented the other.

The tension between them slightly disappeared when they watched the television but not completely. Alec preferred to stay in front of the TV when Magnus wanted to go to bed. He couldn't hide his smile, they behaved like a real couple.

He couldn't help smiling when he saw Alec standing in the doorway of the room as if he didn't dare to come in. He cast a suspicious look on him and entered almost reluctantly, like a cat. Magnus turned his computer off, closed it and carefully stared at his boyfriend slide his slim body into the sheets. He raised his eyebrows when he turned his back at him. He was sulking.

Dumbfounded, Magnus stared at his back covered by a washed-out dark green t-shirt. Here was what was happening whenever he was too curious. But still, until now Alec had always been more mature, he softened and turn the light off.

Once his head on the pillow, he hesitated to turn and take him in his arms. He terribly wanted to but didn't want to be scratched or to be hissed at. Softly, he reached for him, moved his body closer without pressing it against his and slid an arm around his waist. Alec didn't reject him and pressed his back against his chest to make their bodies touch. Magnus hugged him harder and kissed his lips, relieved.

''Are you going to sulk?'' he murmured between several kisses.

''I don't sulk,'' retorted Alec who was clearly sulking.

 _You are,_ Magnus wanted to say but his lips were too busy to utter these words. He relaxed, His head nestled in his neck, intoxicated by his perceptible odor under the heady smell of his shower gel and wrapped by his warmth. His hand naturally went under the piece of cloth to stroke his stomach and draw arabesques around his navel. Then it went lower and lower with the same gesture.

Alec who had relaxed suddenly stiffened.

''You had your revenge the other day,'' he hesitantly said.

Magnus' hand stopped. Yes he had but it had been more than that. He wondered -and sincerely hoped- that Alec used this word out of modesty and just to replace the word sex. Even though, it wasn't a one time thing. It wouldn't happen just once.

''I still haven't touched my benefits,'' said Magnus with an amused voice against his ear. ''Neither those for the alarm clock.''

During a terrible moment he thought that he hadn't liked their sexual intercourse at all and that he didn't feel like being intimate again. Magnus was now anxious and was seriously considering to talk about it.

''Was it really okay the other day?'' Alec suddenly asked with a wary voice.

Magnus stuck his hand against his stomach and lower abdomen. It had been clear the last time and it had been far from a disaster, quite the opposite. He frowned realizing that it had worried him, and for nothing.

''I can show you again how okay it was if you want,'' he simply answered while pressing up his hips against his backside and touching him here and there.

Alec turned over and passionately kissed him before wrapping his arms around his body. Magnus clung to him and bit his lips affectionately before kissing the rest of his face and his neck. He could feel his relief about their first time and lengthily kissed the hollow in his neck.

He chuckled, surprisingly pleased when Alec started to undress him first. He eventually turned on the light to see more clearly, something Alec didn't seem to like.

''Don't you want to see my body ?'' he teased before kissing him.

Actually, it was more to see his but Alec easily got distracted after undressing him entirely. His mouth shyly and carefully kissed his collarbone, his shoulders, his torso... Magnus' heart was madly pounding. He loved the way he was kissing him, how much he could be gentle, sometimes awkwardly but it was affectionate. Magnus could feel his affection in the way he was touching him.

He secretly hoped that his curiosity had developed into something better, sweeter, stronger and more lasting. He wanted to think that it was the case and wanted to believe it.

This time the condom was yellow.

Alec slightly smiled. ''It brings out your eyes.''

Magnus grinned. ''Next time it'll be green then,'' he said against his lips.

Alec was still embarrassed getting naked but eventually relaxed, as he could, when he got the better of him with caresses, kisses, and loving words which made him look at him incredulously. He literally froze, as usual when he had to face a terribly embarrassing situation and didn't know how to react - like when he had told him that he loved him - Magnus snorted and hastened to kiss him in order to clear up his embarrassment.

Alec looked less uncomfortable, but not really relaxed, and seemed to suffer less. He was less tense and more responsive but still avoided his eyes. He didn't let himself go either, unlike Magnus who was less holding back.

Breathless, he nestled his head into his shoulder to catch his breath carried away by the pleasure. Alec kissed his shoulder and freed his legs where he had wrapped around his earlier but kept his hands on his back. His gestures were gentle and Magnus wanted to stop time to stay longer in his arms. But he had a condom to throw away.

He stood up reluctantly after kissing him, and shivered, already missing his warmth.

''Don't sleep,'' he teased before leaning in to kiss his nose.

Alec blinked. ''I won't,'' he murmured with a slight frown.

Magnus smiled and lengthily looked at him before going in the kitchen. He drank a big glass of water and couldn't help smiling when he thought of a sleepy Alec waiting for him in his bed.

He almost swore when he came back and saw him wrapped up in the sheets with eyes closed. He narrowed his eyes, approached silently before pulling the sheets.

Alec frowned and winced. ''I'm not sleeping and I'm cold,'' he sighed before opening his eyes.

Magnus' grin widened when Alec tried to cover his nakedness, in vain.

''I'll be your blanket,'' he stated with a cheeky smile while climbing on the bed.

He dropped a kiss on his stomach and Alec, with a little smile, wrapped his arms around his neck to hug him.

''What about yours ?'' he asked with a grin.

Right who will cover himself if he was his blanket ? With a theatrical sigh, he pulled a piece of the sheets that had remained at the foot of the bed and covered himself.

''This is mine and I'm still yours,'' he said before gently getting on him.

Alec looked surprised and didn't react. He even had stopped breathing, Magnus noticed with amusement. He tried to not focus on the fact that their groin were touching again, in order to not get the sensations felt earlier going again.

Magnus showed what looked like the cuddles and kisses session right after a sexual intercourse that he had missed last time There had been one but not really, besides Alec had been too tired and Magnus hadn't wanted to bother him with cuddles and kisses.

''I didn't know there was a bonus at the end,'' murmured the latter when he kissed his neck.

_Now you do._

''There's always one with me.''

Magnus wasn't particularly cuddly but he was a lot with Alec. He couldn't help himself. The fact that Alec wasn't accustomed to it amused him and urged him to show him more of his affection. Alec wasn't used being touched, kissed, cuddled and Magnus wanted to give him all that. He was getting used to it, there was some progress. He couldn't hold back a smile thinking about how much it had been awkward sometimes but it was worth it.

''We're even now?'' asked Alec against his hair.

Magnus looked up and weighed all his weight on him whereas Alec carried on his hands's movements on the small of his back. He looked at him for a long time and smiled. From now on they had no pretext or nickname for their sexual intercourse.

''We're even,'' he finally said before capturing his mouth.

After several languid kisses and some passionate caresses, Magnus rolled onto his side still holding Alec tightly against him who slipped a leg between his and nestled his head in the crook of his neck, breathing in with contentment. His heart was madly pounding and he wondered if he could hear it.

_Probably._

He contentedly smiled and squeezed him harder against him, amazed by his resemblance with a cat and deploring a little the fact that he was only affectionate in bed. It was still better than nothing and he had improved a lot.

Rocked by his warmth, his breath in his neck and by this intimacy, Magnus went with the flow and whispered in his ear : ''Aku cinta kamu.''

He had never said it before and for a moment he just froze. He felt Alec move and lift his head, tickling his neck and chin with his nose.

''What did you say?'' he asked.

Magnus winced. It wasn't the first time that he voiced his feelings but saying them in his mother tongue made them more meaningful and implied something deeper, more genuine and intense.

He slightly moved and rubbed his cheek against his. ''Aku cinta kamu, it means I love you in Indonesian,'' he said again before snorting.

A little bit of love and Alec lost his means, he barely breathed and his heart raced. They stayed a long time entwined, still in the same position, the heart madly pounding. Magnus knew that Alec was slightly panicking and kissed his forehead to reassure him.

He flinched when Alec suddenly squeezed him harder against him and kissed him, almost shyly but passionately. Magnus lengthily stared at him and kissed him back while slightly nibbling his lips.

He would be satisfied with that, for now.

 

He groaned when he heard the alarm clock. He had forgotten that there was one now but that meant that Alec was there. He opened one eye and felt a warm body move from his arms. He was faster and kindly pressed Alec against the mattress and violently brought down his hand on the alarm clock with a grunt of satisfaction.

Then, he rested his head on his torso and settled himself in a comfortable position, his body weighing like an anvil on his to prevent any move. His breath quickly became regular and he slightly smiled when he felt Alec's hands in his hair, tangling his hair around his fingers and stroking his scalp. Magnus rubbed his chin against his chest in a please way, getting more and more awake by this gesture.

Gently and teasingly, he lengthily kissed the black lines of his tattoos. Alec sighed and slightly moved.

''Magnus.''

''We have time.''

''To take a shower and eat but not for that.''

''We still have time for that.''

There was always time for cuddles and kisses under the covers. Always.

''We don't,'' Alec insisted in a murmur.

Magnus nibbled the skin around his bellybutton with a grin..

Alec surrendered. ''Just a little then.''

Magnus gave him a triumphant smile and Alec drew him closer to deepen the cuddles and kisses session. It lasted longer than he expected but not as much as he would have liked. The cheek against his heart, Magnus absently traced with his fingertips the contours of his tattoos.

''You know,'' he said before stopping at the one on his hip. ''All of them reflect you pretty well.''

He stroked again at those in the crook of his arm and went up on his left arm to touch the Sun and Moon tattoo on his shoulder.

''I love this one,'' he fondly added.

''Why?'' asked Alec slightly surprised.

Magnus grinned. ''I know you did this tattoo because of a book but every time I look at it, it makes me think of you and me.''

And he liked it. The Moon and the Sun represented them quite well according to him.

Alec blinked and smiled. ''You mean you are as dazzling as the Sun?''

Of course he was and he even was shining for two. The Moon could only shine through the Sun and Magnus was struggling to make sure that Alec would accept himself more. If he shone sufficiently then he could too.

Alec could be a very pretty Moon.

Magnus brushed the formula of silver nitrate tattooed on his sides absently. ''I read somewhere that the Sun loves the Moon so much that he dies every night to let her breathe.''

Alec let out a strangled noise that betrayed his embarrassment which made him laugh and kiss him. He could be cheesy sometimes, he just had to get used to it.

''I didn't expect this one from you,'' Alec said with narrowed eyes.

Magnus chuckled, pleased. ''Physically and with your personality you are the Moon and I'm not talking about your pretty buttocks.''

''Magnus,'' sighed Alec while closing his eyes but with a bright smile. ''Then, we're not made for each other,'' he added more seriously.

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''We're made for each other,'' he firmly retorted before kissing his shoulder.

Two great stars like them could only end up together. They maintained a balance, were complementary and although they fled to never meet, were meant to be. At least Magnus believed so. It was romantic.

He kissed an umpteenth time his skin and rested his chin on his stomach.

''Would you like to go on a trip with me?'' he asked in a murmur.

He had been thinking about it for a while and this occasion would be special, it would be his birthday soon and he wanted to celebrate it with him. Catarina and Ragnor didn't mind that he would celebrate it with Alec first because it meant no party, for once, in other words a healthier and romantic birthday for Magnus.

Alec slightly frowned and looked down. ''When and where?''

''For my birthday and I don't know, you could ask for days off hoping that your father agrees,'' he carefully said.

Magnus loved the sun, the sea, swimming but he knew that it wasn't Alec was into it. Therefore, they had to choose a destination that would suit the both of them.

Until now, he had never invited a Lightwood to one of his birthday party. Maybe he had once but Jace or Izzy hadn't been able to come and Alec...Magnus couldn't remember.

''What about your friends ?'' asked Alec.

''Oh, I could do something before or after but I'd also like to do something just between the two of us.''

''Not a too warm place then,'' he finally agreed.

Magnus hid his triumphant smile in his neck and Alec closed his arms around him. He was looking forward to their vacation even if it was in three months. And he hoped that by then things would have improved between them. Magnus was divided between the moments of intimacy that went so well between them and the moments when doubt, anxiety, silence and distance poisoned their relationship.

Or it was all in his head and he was poisoning everything by himself. It was possible and showed his deep attachment for his secretive boyfriend.

He dramatically sighed when Alec refused to eat his breakfast and when he saw his tousled hair.

''I'll be late,'' Alec groaned when he tried to style him.

 _It's like grooming a cat,_ thought Magnus. He gave him a smirk and kissed his forehead. Even though their evening had ended very well and the day had started very well as well, he hadn't forgotten his behavior the night before at Jace's place. He had frankly hesitated to look into his phone when he was showering before changing his mind.

''Have a good day my darling and don't forget that -if my memory and my culture are still good- Buddha said there are three things which can't stay hidden forever: the Sun, the Moon, and the Truth.''

Or rather all the important things Alec was hiding for no reason and which could make him feel better if he voiced them. Magnus got a reaction and, still smirking, leaned in and softly kissed him.

''You'll be late if you don't hurry.''

Alec stared lengthily at him, analyzing the situation and whether he was in danger or not. He was, Magnus hinted to it and more and more. It was as if he had realized that he was getting caught in a trap and that he should talk sooner or later about what was happening among the Lightwoods family.

Alec started looking uncomfortable and unconcerned by his gaze, which Magnus knew was insistent, before leaving.

Magnus knew that he had an unhealthy relationship with his father but only by supposition, he wanted him to tell him, hear from his mouth, he wanted Alec to confide in and talk to him about what made him suffer. He had seen, guessed the effect and the grip that Robert had on him but there was something more harmful, he felt it, but nobody knew. Not even Max and it frustrated him.

Magnus just wanted to listen to Alec.

Although he had said that he would accept him as he was, he wanted him to change. He wanted him entirely, not only physically and even if Alec only wanted to give him that.

Magnus loved him, he really did but this relationship couldn't go on, not like this. He sincerely believed that Alec would end up liking him but it wasn't the main problem currently. Alec needed to change and to open up. He had changed a little from the beginning of their relationship, but it wasn't enough to make them a real couple. It was a one-way couple and Magnus wanted now more than that.

Alec needed to trust him more, to include him more in his life either way, their relationship wouldn't last long and Magnus wanted it to last as long as possible, and why not forever.

He couldn't be satisfied with what he had anymore, about what Alec gave him, he wanted more, so much more. Maybe he was getting more and more greedy, but he wasn't satiated, he wanted Alec entirely and more than anything else.

*

He heaved a sigh after reading the message he just had received, Alec couldn't come _again_ at his place because of his family stuff.

Catarina looked up from her salad and stopped chewing. ''He can't ?''

''No,'' he grumbled.

''He's busy.''

''It's the third time this week.''

Catarina shrugged. ''He's busy,'' she said again. ''Or he doesn't want to see you.''

Magnus stared up at her. It was a pretty sensitive subject and he wasn't in the mood to hear her tease him. Catarina superbly ignored his glare and drank her glass of wine with a satisfied smile

Magnus frowned while reading again his text. He felt that he was lying or hiding something, he couldn't explain why and how he had come to think of the whole situation this way. And he had a good instinct in general.

Furthermore, this family stuff was getting on his nerves.

Alec had taken some liberties concerning his parties. Never he would have missed one before, not when Jace and Izzy were coming all the time. As if he was now trusting him enough to take care of his siblings but didn't trust him about his problems, Magnus bitterly thought.

''Magnus ? You don't like it ?''

The latter blinked. ''Hmm ?''

''Your meal, you're not eating,'' said his friend before staring at him;. ''You're okay ?''

''No, Alec doesn't talk to me,'' he murmured. ''And it's getting on my nerves.''

''And why he isn't talking to you ?'' Catarina asked with a frown.

''I don't know, he refuses to tell me anything and I don't dare to ask him...''

''Are you afraid of arguing with him?''

"I don't want to argue with him, we shouldn't argue just because he doesn't want to talk about his problems."

Catarina stared lengthily at him. ''If you have to argue then go for it, it'll be a way to communicate and it'll show him that you're worried about him...''

She rolled her eyes when she saw his face. ''Magnus,'' she sighed. ''He won't stop loving you and he won't leave you for an argument !''

Magnus winced as he didn't know about Alec's feeling toward him and because she had voiced what he was stupidly scared of.

''Anyway, we're not here to talk about me and him,'' he hastened to say.

''Really ?''

''Yes, by the way Ragnor can't come tonight, he has a ton of correction to do and prefers to grieve over his students' stupidity.''

Catarina snorted. ''He was the one who wanted to teach... By the way tonight, this will be my last time going out before a long time, I'll be more busy at the hospital.''

Magnus frowned. ''Don't overwork.''

''I'm overworking but I love my job.''

Magnus smiled and Catarina told him about the strange accident that had happened to an old lady at the hospital.

As expected, they went to their common acquaintance's place who had organized a private viewing, in an upper neighborhood than his and in an apartment crowded with people. Catarina and Magnus were warmly welcomed by Malcolm and his incredible beauty.

''I thought you'd never come,'' he sighed.

Magnus brightly smiled at him and cast a curious glance at the exhibition around him. There were pictures, paintings, sculptures -very weird for some of them- and all the money raised would go to charities.

"Spend freely!" Malcolm encouraged them by giving to each of them a glass of white wine.

Catarina snorted and took the arm Magnus offered her before going to greet the people they knew while strolling here and there watching this or that piece of art.

"I didn't know Malcolm had so many talents," Catarina whispered.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. ''Yeah, is that a tree or a deer ?'' he asked her in front of an ambiguous statue.

''Both ?''

They remained lengthily in front of it before moving to another one.

''Do you think I can donate without paying for anything here, I have no room for any of them at my place.''

''It'd be better if you directly donate to a charity instead then.''

Catarina bent to look more closely at the sculpture of a rectangular bonsai.

''He has a funny imagination though..., '' she declared with a little smile.

''You can buy it and give it to Ragnor,'' suggested Magnus before emptying his glass. ''More wine ?''

''Yes,'' she said while giving him her glass, which he went to refill near the entrance.

Meanwhile, he checked his phone to see if he hadn't received messages from a certain person who was quite troublesome lately, and sighed before pouring the wine into the glasses.

A male hand put an empty glass next to his.

''No more wine, you'll have to ask Malcolm for some,'' he said before looking up and frowned.

He didn't expect to find Matthew Donovan here. _It's been a long time,_ he thought before wondering what he was up lately. They stared at each other with a slight frown, not very happy to see each other after what had happened in Magnus' kitchen and the fact that the latter had never invited him ever again to one of his parties.

Catarina had told him recently that she had seen him a few days ago with a beautiful and expensive car.

''I hear that you had the perfect relationship with one of the Lightwoods ?'' smirked the young man.

Magnus stared at him, not really knowing what to say. ''You never liked them,'' he stated. ''Why ?''

Technically, he had loved Izzy at some time, but she had rejected him. He had reacted childishly and had harassed her, which Alec hadn't appreciated and had forced him to react violently.

''They are arrogant, full of themselves and believe that the world is theirs.''

He got a point, had to admit Magnus but he was wrong in many aspects. The Lightwoods came from a wealthy background, had everything for them but appearances weren't what they seemed to be. Izzy and Jace were confident, not arrogant, knew their worth and didn't really misuse it, and people loved them, they knew it, they weren't to blame. But it could easily trigger jealousy and envy.

As for Alec, he could look cold and devoid of any emotion whereas he was just really awkward with people and not good at showing his feelings. Magnus smiled and glanced at his interlocutor.

''You don't know them enough.''

Donovan smirked and stared at him. ''Really ? You'd be surprised to know what I know and that you don't know,'' he snorted.

Magnus frowned. What did he mean ? He didn't like his face full of satisfaction and his little smile as if he was enjoying this moment. Magnus seriously thought of going far away from this man who wasn't worth much, and because he had a bad feeling.

''Alec can be very busy sometimes, right?'' Matthew casually said.

Magnus' frown deepened, immediately thinking about the family stuff.

''So ?''

''So I'm pretty sure you're dying to know what he is really doing.''

Magnus' eyes were only two slots. Anxiety and fear locked him on the floor and he lengthily stared at Donovan before moving closer.

''Do you mean that you know something ?''' he calmly asked. ''And how would you know ?''

Maybe that could explain his fancy new car. Magnus wasn't sure to like what he was going to hear.

''Say it and quickly if you know something,'' he dryly said.

Donovan's smile widened whereas Magnus was wondering if Alec was cheating on him. He knew he wasn't as he was unable to do it, Magnus trusted him on that but not over the rest.

''Robert Lightwood pays well, especially when I have to monitor his children. He likes to keep an eye on them.''

Magnus blinked. ''He's spying on them ?'' he asked with a wince.

So he knew about them then ?

''He knows everything and if he doesn't, he will sooner or later.''

Magnus swore inwardly, it meant that Alec had trouble and it could explain the distance between them recently and all this family stuff. He was making connections between this and that.

''It's a girl.''

Magnus almost glared at him for having stopped the train of his thoughts. ''What ?''

''The reason that could explain why Lightwood is very busy sometimes, it's a blonde girl.''

Magnus' heart sank and he didn't breath out, and yet he wasn't surprised. Something was going on, he knew it, but now, everything became clearer like a puzzle.

''Lydia ?'' he murmured.

Donovan frowned. ''You know her ?''

Magnus snorted. Everything was more than obvious now. He had figured it out before but he had trusted Alec who had lied about this girl and despite Robert's hint at the theater.

Magnus had preferred to trust Alec and deny the facts and reality.

If Robert knew everything about them and knowing that he was against Alec's homosexuality, it wasn't surprising that a girl was involved.

''Are they engaged ?'' he coldly asked, glaring at Donovan.

''I don't know, maybe, or soon.''

Magnus clenched his teeth and kept staring at his drinks. He tried to stay calm and to keep his composure. Alec was seeing someone, a girl named Lydia, of whom Magnus should have been wary much sooner, to please his parents.

 _Then, what about me ?_ He wondered. _Has Alec lied since the first time he used the 'family stuff'' ? Does he intend to please his parents until he marry her ?_

Then, what place he had in his life ? There was none for Magnus in Alec's life and it made him unable to breath.

He mentally thanked Donovan for opening his eyes and was about to leave to join Catarina but he stopped and turned around.

''What's her family name ?'' he asked.

''Branwell, Lydia Branwell.''

''You must really hate Alec to tell me everything and for working for his father,'' he stated with disgust.

Donovan snorted. ''I'm well-paid but I'll resign soon, this man is too intense.''

''I hope to never see you ever again,'' Magnus hissed before walking away.

He found Catarina with Malcolm.

''You took your time !'' she stated with raised eyebrows.

He shrugged, gave back her drink and listened to Malcolm who was explaining how he could do so much things in a short time.

Magnus finally got away and went back in front of the rectangular bonsai that he stared at without really looking at it.

_Lydia Branwell._

He hated this girl who hadn't done anything if not taking Alec away from him at each family stuff.

He huffed, surprised to have been fool like this. It rekindled memories of past relationships, and not the happiest ones. Magnus questioned himself, wondering what he had done wrong, why Alec didn't tell him, and why he didn't trust him enough.

Even though they had slept together, they had never been so far apart from one another, and it was getting on Magnus' nerves.

Alec was like the wind, he was there but couldn't be caught whereas confronting him was possible. Magnus intended to do that shortly but he hesitated. He shouldn't hesitate anymore, they got there because of their behavior, it had to change.

Alec was manipulated, like a puppet or a robot by his father's authority. No wonder he could be so emotionless, so rational, and so unable to choose.

Had Alec been unable to refuse? Why ? He was gay so it was impossible with this girl, his parents knew it perfectly and yet foolishly insisted. Then what about this girl ? Did she knew that he was gay ? Probably not.

Robert controlled everything, never would he let his eldest son do what he wanted and the latter didn't stand up for himself, which set Magnus off. He wanted to shake Alec, to bring some sense into his head, tell him to stop obeying blindly to his father and that it wasn't a life.

Alec should have cut all ties with his parents at the very moment they hadn't accepted his sexual orientation. He would still have his siblings who probably didn't know about it either. Izzy and Max, who were cheering for them, would have told him otherwise.

He felt deceived. Alec had lied to him by concealing the truth. If he had learned it from his mouth, he wouldn't have been this pissed or bitter. He would have understood but wouldn't have accepted it. This concealment showed that he didn't count as much as he would have liked and that they would never have been accepted by his parents, something Alec seemed to care about as he had agreed to see this girl.

Alec tried to juggle with two lives and would have to make a choice sooner or later, Magnus seriously doubted that he would be chosen.

 _If he loved me even a little he would never have done that to me,_ he thought with pain.

It hurt.

Anger, bitterness and incomprehension made him empty his glass in one go. He felt so stupid and he was madly in love with the idiot who was making him suffer because the said idiot wasn't able to say no.

He had guessed it already, it had already crossed his mind before but Magnus had preferred to deny everything because he hadn't wanted to believe it.

 _I should have,_ he bitterly thought.

He jumped when Malcolm touched his arm.

''Take it if you like it.''

Magnus frowned. He didn't like this sculpture that much but Malcolm smiled, he couldn't refuse, and it was for a good cause. Furthermore, this rectangular bonsai would make a nice gift for Ragnor.

Magnus could already see his face, his smile widened when he saw Catarina with two unidentified sculptures.

''It's Ragnor who's going to be happy,'' he snorted.

Catarina winced. ''It's the thought that counts.''

They put the money in an urn, said goodbye to their host, who thanked them, and went away. But before, Magnus, who met Donovan's look among other people, mouthed a distinct _'fuck you'_ that he would have like to do with the same gesture but his hands were too busy.

Matthew Donovan smiled and watched him walking away with satisfaction.

At the end of the evening, Magnus hated three people: Alec's parents who formed a single entity, Lydia Branwell because she was innocent but involved, and Matthew Donovan because he had had this superior look while revealing what he hadn't wanted to see to him. Magnus hated him because he had opened his eyes.

''You're okay ?'' asked Catarina in the elevator when he closed his eyes.

''Just a little tired,'' he murmured.

He felt as if there was a gaping hole in his chest instead of his torn heart and it was still extremely painful.

*

It explained so much more things now, like why Alec didn't want to move in with him, why sometimes he didn't look that good, why he was frowning or why he was so lost in his thoughts.

Like right now.

A fiancee could keep someone's thoughts busy.

''Will we be able to go out this week ?'' he asked while staring at him, waiting apprehensively his answer.

Alec looked up and stood up from the couch. ''I don't know, I'll be busy and I have this family stuff so...''

Magnus threw at him an annoyed look. ''What is this family stuff?'' he lowly asked.

''A family obligation, a meal if you prefer,'' Alec answered without looking into his eyes.

_At least, look at me when you try to lie._

Magnus' lips tightened. ''And it's that important?'' he asked coldly.

Of course it was, especially if he wanted to please his dad.

Alec scowled and tossed him an annoyed gaze that Magnus hold with gritted teeth.

''And I'm not selfish,'' he murmured. ''I just want to spend time with you. And don't tell me another time, it's been a long time since there was another time.''

Alec immediately looked down, with guilt, and Magnus felt a guilty pleasure. He made him look up with his fingers under his chin and lengthily stared at him.

''I feel like you're getting away, '' he muttered in a painful tone. ''And you don't even tell me what's wrong, you refuse to tell me anything.''

They looked at each other for a long time and Magnus began to hope that Alec would start talking, but he didn't. For a brief moment he wondered if Donovan had lied, but immediately dismissed the idea.

He could only note with his own eyes what Alec didn't confess, admit, explain, and tried to hide so desperately.

Magnus shut himself up in his room.

*

This family stuff was a source of conflict, something that they never really had so far. Unspoken things and secrets were slowly destroyed their couple - not very solid from the beginning-.

Magnus had planned everything and was proud.

He wanted to catch him red-handed to give more impact to what was going on and clear things for good. Alec was dating him not this girl and he had to make a choice : him or her, not both at the same time.

Lydia embodied the Lightwoods expectations that they had for their son, she was what was right, the right path while Magnus was the opposite, but he represented freedom and love.

In both cases, Alec wasn't really accepting himself and Magnus had the impression that he didn't intend to, undecided as he was between being himself and being what his parents wanted him to be.

Magnus understood but he didn't want to stay the lover hidden forever in the case where Alec would choose Lydia, because he would never have the place he would have liked to have in Alec's heart and because he didn't want to share.

Alec was completely under his father's influence, Magnus could see the strings, a puppet unable to think by himself. And Magnus painfully wondered what he could do to change things.

He knew, it was necessary to approach the problems to better solve them but he was so afraid of the outcome...

He prepared himself with nervousness, under the narrowed eyes of Chairman Meow who tried to rub his fur against his new pants. He glanced quickly at his watch, took his keys and went out.

He had to pay Donovan to know Alec's habits: where and when, and the latter had even given him a discount that Magnus had ignored.

"I give you three times what the Lightwoods give you if you stop reporting everything about Alec and me," he had said.

Donovan had graciously accepted, saying that it was too late, and then had shut up as Magnus had glared at him.

Magnus was a regular at the Palace, occasionally eating there with his colleagues. That was why he had been able to ask to which table the lovebirds would be eating that evening and had been able to book a table not far from theirs.

For the first time in his life, Magnus attempted to be discreet when he got inside. And sprinkling himself with golden glitter just before wasn't a very good idea. He was led to his table and immediately spotted Alec, or rather his back, with a pretty young and blonde woman who was brightly smiling at him.

Everything was real and it was much more painful than he thought it would be.

Magnus sat down while staring at he young and beautiful couple. Never, he had been this pissed in his entire life. And yet, he was curious to see how Alec behaved with other people. Even though, he could only see his back, Magnus could also see in his way of moving that he wasn't very comfortable, and he couldn't help feeling relieved when he saw that he hadn't dressed in a better and fancy way for the occasion. The girl either, they were the only ones to be casually dressed in the whole restaurant.

Lydia Branwell smiled a lot and honestly, she seemed nice but it didn't change anything, she was the apple of discord sent by Robert. Maybe she knew everything, maybe they had formed an alliance but Magnus seriously doubted it. They weren't in a movie or a book, it was reality.

Magnus quickly glanced at his menu before staring at them again.

She had noticed him and he didn't even bother to smile.

At first, she glanced around them and had met his eye before immediately looking down. Then, A few seconds later, she looked back at him to see that he was still staring at her.

She seemed even more uncomfortable and looked away before leaning forward to say something to Alec. The latter had a movement, as if he wanted to turn in his direction, to see who he was but he didn't.

Magnus was slightly disappointed, he would have liked to see his face but the latter didn't turn and didn't seem to intend to do so. He motioned to the waiter who rushed to his table and ordered his favorite wine.

"For the young couple right there, from Magnus Bane who wishes them a good evening."

The waiter smiled and nodded before walking away.

She was glancing at him form time to time while speaking to Alec who wasn't moving.

 _Turn around,_ thought Magnus, _turn around._

Both of them looked up at the waiter who had brought the bottle of wine. Magnus still couldn't see Alec's face but he could guess the expression he had. He was looking at the bottle too lengthily and his body had stiffened.

Magnus could see his right cheek and the tip of his nose. Alec had frozen. Then, he took his phone and sent him a _'follow me outside'_. They needed to talk. He stood up, put down some notes on the table, and strode off outside.

He didn't have to wait long, Alec came silently behind him.

''What are you doing here?'' he simply asked.

Magnus didn't turn. He had to be stoic in order to not show how hurt he was and how heart broken he was.

''I am a regular and so far I liked to eat in that restaurant.''

He finally turned and faced Alec who looked resigned, guilty, sad and suspicious.

''Who is she?'' Magnus asked coldly, wanting to hear it from his mouth and with his own words.

''A friend,'' murmured Alec before looking down.

 _Look at me at least when you lie,_ Magnus wanted to say.

''Is she is the famous  _'family stuff_ ' you said every time?''

Alec didn't answer and kept his eyes lowered.

''And instead of saying friend will you not rather say Lydia, my fiancée?'' he insisted.

Alec stiffened and looked up with a slight frown.

''Since when are you seeing her?'' he continued with the same cold tone.

Alec still didn't answer.

''The first time you said this  _'family stuff'_  it was before our second date, am I right?''

''Yes,'' Alec finally admitted lowly.

Even in this terrible situation, he barely could make him talk. He was so angry to see the situation in which Alec had bogged down because he had been unable to say no to his father. What did he expect? To live happily ever after by reconciling Lydia and him in his life?

''You're gay,'' he calmly stated. ''So she's supposed to mean nothing but you lied to me. And to say that you have a balance tattooed for your honesty and your integrity,'' he snorted.

Alec gritted his teeth. ''How do you know?'' he managed to ask.

''Remember Donovan? I ran into him not so long ago and he told me that he often saw you with a blonde girl here... I didn't want to believe him at first and I even told him to go and fuck himself after.''

Alec frowned and his eyes narrowed.

''Seems like the truth doesn't come out from the lips of those you'd hope,'' he dryly said before sadly smiling when he saw the way Alec was looking at him. ''Did you even like me?'' he painfully asked. ''I've been patient with you, I'm your first relationship and you're younger,'' he added wondering if he had not loved him enough.

Alec stared blankly at him, looking extremely ill at ease.

''I love you,'' he suddenly blurted out with a wince and a frown.

Magnus blinked, not expecting to finally hear those three words. He would have been extremely happy in other circumstances but there it was quite the opposite. _Then why are doing this to me ?_ He knew why, otherwise Alec would have dumped him long ago. _If you love me why didn't you tell me ? I'm here, I have always been here, I would have understand, I would have done everything for you._

''Really?'' he said, moving closer. ''Then why don't you want to move in with me?''

This discussion turned into a dispute resolution, Magnus wouldn't let him get away that easily.

''I don't want it. I mean...don't you think it's too early?''

''No.''

''I do, as you said, I don't have much experience in relationships as you so I know nothing, it could explain the ease with which you welcomed me in your place.''

Magnus' eyes were only two slots, he could hardly believe that Alec had implied the number of his past lovers.

''You don't say anything to anyone about us as if we were a dirty secret and...''

''We're not. And it's not because you do that I have to do the same and tell everyone about us,'' Alec retorted.

Magnus rolled his eyes.

''And you gave me the impression that I could never be part of your precious family as if you can't mix apples and oranges together. You never noticed ? You saw me on weekends, it was Max or me but never at the same time, until the other day. And I'm not talking about your parents.''

Or even about Lydia.

''You said you would accept me as I am,'' murmured Alec.

''I did !'' Magnus angrily said. ''Why did you lie to me?''

Alec stubbornly kept looking down at the ground.

''Is it because you still don't accept your homosexuality and you want a screen for your homophobic parents? Does this poor girl even know?''

Thus, Alec could still date him. It was the perfect plan but not for Magnus because it would mean hiding and this poor girl would be there only to save appearances.

Alec glared at him. ''Magnus...''

''It's me or her Alexander,'' he hissed, coming closer. ''Not both at the same time.''

Either he stood up for himself, either he stayed a puppet.

Until now, Magnus had been extremely lenient with him, had accepted everything, perfectly knowing that it wasn't a solution. He wanted to make him react, to make him take a decision that he should have taken for a long time already.

It was a test, to make him understand what he would lose or gain by choosing, and that he couldn't go on being the way he was.

But Alec remained quiet, frozen, his mouth tightly closed. Magnus would have bet it. It was too late to turn back and even if it broke his heart to do what he intended to do.

''I'll decide for you then,'' he coldly said.

And he walked away with long strides, without throwing him a glance, wanting to throw up his heart.

 _Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back,_ he tried to think while walking faster.

Magnus temporarily left him out of love, just to make him realize what he was losing and what he could gain if he stopped lying to himself.

To dump someone out of love, that took the cake.

He had been stunned to see that Alec had been unable to choose despite loving him. Robert's grip was stronger than he had thought and Alec more afraid of making his own choices than he had thought.

He had accepted Alec as he was but now he didn't want the old one, he wanted the new one, the one who would choose him.

It was risky, he knew it, but he wanted Alec to think with his heart and not with his head for once.

**

It was the longest night of his life. Magnus thought he would never see the end and seriously doubted that he would fall asleep. Never he had tried so hard to not think of something. He had tried, unsuccessfully.

Curled up against him, Chairman Meow was purring and Magnus had never been so happy to own that adorable fur ball that he tightened harder against him.

It wasn't a definitive break-up but just a pause in their relationship the time that Alec figured out by himself what was good for him. And Magnus was a good thing for him, of course he was. He still couldn't believe what had just happened or that parents such as the Lightwoods existed.

And this Lydia, Magnus wasn't very fond of her and resented her for many things, which didn't make sense as she was a collateral damage of the choices Alec had been unable to make when he should have.

And yet, Magnus regretted this decision, the one he had made almost on a whim but which had been lurking deep inside him for a while already. This separation was supposed to open Alec's eyes but he wasn't so sure to enjoy the fact that they were no longer a couple. He already felt a void.

Magnus still loved him but had been the one to break-up. He sat up abruptly and wondered if Alec had ever thought about breaking up with him. Probably. But he had wanted them to stay together despite the arrival of this stranger. It was a proof of love but it would have made more sense if Alec had spoken to him.

Magnus didn't like the fact that their relationship had become a threesome behind his back.

He heaved a sigh and lay down again by letting himself fall heavily on his pillow, earning the annoyed stare of Chairman Meow who hissed. Magnus stroked him a little and turned to the side where Alec usually slept, before turning around, with a heavy heart.

He already missed him and slightly resented him for this situation.

 

Wide awake, Magnus frowned when he heard the alarm clock ringing with its annoying noise. He hastened to turn it off and cast a suspicious glare at Chairman Meow who had certainly played with it to make it ring.

Only Alec used it usually.

With a groan, he buried his head into his pillow, suddenly overwhelmed by the fatigue which had eluded him all night. He had spent a sleepless night thinking about Alec and them.

He had reviewed their relationship from the beginning in order to convince himself that he had made the right decision and that it was necessary in order to better find each other again.

He had finally heard the three words he no longer expected or had interpreted through acts and gestures. Their relationship had ended on mutual feelings and had started from scratch. Everything was upside down.

Magnus remembered having enticed Alec with curiosity after their catastrophic first kiss and the one -or rather those- which had followed in the kitchen and their cat and mouse game that they had to play and especially Magnus to go out with each other.

Since the beginning, they weren't very meant to be as he had discovered that Alec was closeted, had feelings for Jace, didn't really like him that much and had homophobic parents which explained everything. Magnus had been something unhealthy for Alec but also redeemer as throughout their relationship Alec had begun to change, maybe he had even been happier.

But despite these little changes, things were still not going for the better between them.

Magnus thought he had done everything but he knew he hadn't. He should have done everything to make him talk about his abusive relationship with his father. Magnus had seen, had felt what was going on that evening. He remembered it perfectly : Alec's attitude, his lack of self-confidence, and the fact that he was like this was due to his harmful relationship with his father.

Magnus had done nothing, but could he blame himself? The few times he had tried -and the word was weak- to talk about it Alec made him realize that he didn't want to have a talk about it and that it didn't concern him. One way or another to tell him that everything was fine but Magnus knew perfectly that it wasn't the case, but blinded by love and because he didn't want them to argue he had accepted that.

It had been a mistake.

Magnus had agreed to not cross the boundaries as Alec hadn't wanted him on the other side.

Then, the distance that Alec had put between them was explained with the arrival of this fiancée and clarified absolutely everything: his silences, his moods and the fact that his father controlled absolutely everything.

And that Alec let it happen.

He let himself be had, he accepted everything. And it wasn't due to his kindness. When self-esteem was at its lowest, and someone was used to being belittled, it was a way of satisfying others while disregarding his own feelings or desires. He had wanted to break with Alec ? The latter had said nothing, had not protested, nothing.

Besides, Alec had been unable to choose between what his father wanted and what he wanted. _Maybe he doesn't want me enough,_ Magnus thought finally getting up from his bed. But he knew that Alec wasn't used to wanting especially when he received nothing. He had seen that several times by offering him small gifts, which were more little things he had for his half : like the second volume of the book he already had, a shirt or a leather belt that he had bought just thinking about his boyfriend.

Alec had looked at him in such a way that Magnus still remembered it as if it was yesterday and he smiled. Alec's thanks had been confused but the shy kiss that had followed had been sweet and slightly embarrassing for both of them, as Alec hadn't dared to look at him and Magnus hadn't been used to being kissed by Alec.

He painfully closed his eyes, remembering all the moments they had shared that made him more bleeding from the inside, and he went to take a shower under the piercing eyes of his cat.

He had been too lenient with him, and this separation or detoxification away from Alec would allow him to open his eyes. The love he felt for him had blinded him and Magnus hoped that this temporary separation would restore his sight, give more meaning to their relationship and would better communicate what he had felt by discovering the existence of this girl, hoping that Alec would understand.

Alec had behaved like a fool.

But Magnus was more a fool than he was. They were both to be pitied: one for not having trusted enough his boyfriend, the other for having trusted him too much, mistakenly thinking that everything would work out if he continued to close his eyes.

Magnus had finally opened them and it hurt.

When he opened them he had seen this girl at the restaurant, smiling at Alec and representing what Magnus would never be in the Lightwoods' eyes; he would never be accepted as their eldest son's boyfriend, and probably his doubtful origins wouldn't have unanimous support. He earned a very good living and much more than most people but the fact that he was a man, that he was slightly eccentric and that he came from nothing didn't work in his favor despite the love he had for Alexander Lightwood.

It was probably nothing for them, a grain of sand in the sea, nothing more.

And the sad part was that the happiness of their eldest son didn't seem important in their eyes.

Magnus could confirm that he was Alec's happiness, he had proofs to argue his reasoning. He wondered, while wiping himself, what had prevent him until now from going to make a surprise visit to Robert Lightwood to give him a piece of his mind. And he remembered. Alec cared about his father. It was that simple. And Magnus wouldn't really have supported the idea of being responsible for Alec's unhappiness if he had succeeded in making them cut all ties.

Alec would have stopped him anyway.

He had always wanted to fend for himself, so Magnus let him handle himself, hoping that the result would be the one he hoped for. He had good reasons to believe so, as Alec had said that he loved him.

Magnus, despite the circumstances, wanted to believe it wholeheartedly.

*

He wasn't wearing much makeup, as he had spent too much time in bed and in the shower thinking about Alec and the events of the day before.

Alec had sent him a message, a simple sorry.

Magnus looked at this text for a long time. He apologized only because he had been caught red-handed not because he regretted, and yet he knew that this sorry applied to all the harm he had done to him.

 _Why then ?_ he thought. _You knew it would hurt me and you still said nothing._  He put his phone in his jacket pocket and went in his office, forgetting to smile at his colleagues.

 

When Magnus looked at his watch, he noticed two things: it was late and it had been exactly one day now that Alec and him were no longer together. And that day had been horrible.

He ignored the umpteenth message of Catarina asking when he would arrive at her friendly meal with Alec.

How would he explain the absence of Alec without turning his friends against him? Magnus had no intention of lying but he was afraid to confess the truth and the fact that Alec had a fiancée.

He winced, he really began to hate this f word.

What about Izzy and Jace ? They didn't know, he sincerely hoped that they didn't but still he didn't want to be the one to tell them what their brother was hiding the whole time. It was too burdensome.

How would he manage to explain everything without making Alec the villain ? Obviously, Magnus was the victim and everyone would sympathize with him, something he didn't want and was afraid of.

He sighed and rolled his eyes when his phone buzzed in his hand and looked at the screen with a frown, ready to hang up on the person who dared to disturb his thoughts. He hadn't expected Max to call him this late and briefly wondered where he had get his number before remembering that they had exchanged numbers not so long ago.

''Good evening,'' he said in a weary voice while putting his keys on a piece of furniture and before Chairman Meow threw himself on his feet.

''Hello, it's Max. Are you busy ?''

Magnus smiled. ''I know and not at all, what can I do for you ?'' he politely asked while wallowing in his couch without worrying about lighting the light.

''I know that you're no longer with Alec and why you dumped him.''

Magnus straightened up with a frown. He already knew ? How come?

''He told you ?''

''More or less....you discovered that he had a fiancée.''

Magnus winced, he couldn't bare to hear this word anymore. ''You knew from the beginning?''

Was it the thing he was looking for desperately? Maybe he had finally found it and kept it for him all this time.

''No, Alec didn't tell me anything. I went to do some shopping with my mother the other day and we bumped into this girl. That's where I discovered that Alec had a fiancée... and I thought you knew as you were together and he was seeing this girl for quite a while to please our parents. Alec told me you discovered everything last night.''

''Did you talk to him today ? Is he okay ?''

''He seemed okay,'' said Max.

''Izzy and Jace don't know?''

''Um...no I don't want to be the one to tell them,'' he hastened to say. ''I blame Alec and he knows but it's up to him to tell them, not me.''

Magnus smiled, finding the little brother very mature and cute for his age.

''Sadly I'll be the one to tell them,'' he murmured before telling him that he had to go to his friend's place for a meal very soon

''Alec won't go, he's not shameless.''

''No he's not.''

After a silence that lasted a few seconds, Max took a deep breath. "It's definitely over between you two?"

"No," Magnus protested. "It's just to make your moron brother understand what he's losing."

Max snorted when he heard the word moron. ''Yes,'' he admitted. ''He has behaved like a big moron.''

"Am I wrong?" Magnus asked abruptly, knowing full well that he was asking a thirteen-year-old boy if he had done well to break-up temporarily with his older brother.

''I don't think so,'' seriously answered Max after a time of reflection. "Alec loves you, I know, but he was unable to choose between what he wanted and what my parents wanted him to do..."

Relieved to hear those words from his mouth, Magnus nodded and brought his hand to his lips.

"You know before you went out together he was like a robot," added Max. ''The perfect little soldier who does absolutely everything the parents want him to do, without protesting.''

''I want him to protest,'' firmly stated Magnus. "I want him to say stop, I know the way your father treats him or the fact that he doesn't feel very good because he saw him at work. I saw. And your brother does nothing, he accepts everything without a word. It's not good for him, it's unhealthy, his relationship with Robert is unhealthy, Alec should have cut all ties with him right after he told him that his homosexuality wasn't normal. Honestly, I don't understand why Alec tolerates this man, out of love?" he huffed. "Your father doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve him, he deserves nothing. I love Alexander but by continuing to endure all this, he destroys himself and destroys us. I struggled to get him, he didn't accept his sexual orientation, panicked when I told him I knew and you can imagine the state he was in when I told him that I liked him.''

Max snorted.

"Even during our relationship, I could feel Robert's impact everywhere without knowing it. And it kills me to know that Alec just deals with that because he finds it normal,'' he dryly added.

"He's good at pretending that everything is fine," Max whispered.

''Not good enough.''

Max remained quiet. ''What if they get married?''

''I'll kidnap the bride, take her dress and her place,'' Magnus seriously answered. ''I left Alec to make him react for his own good and not to get married to Lydia, it's not part of the plan.''

''You never know with Alec.''

''Right...I'm afraid he'll accept this separation and start to forget me and won't do anything I'd like him to do.''

''Yeah.''

Magnus winced and closed his eyes. He didn't want any of that.

''But he loves you,'' Max added. ''You did well though, he'll understand that it can go on like this with this family.''

 _Yes but it is painful,_ thought Magnus who knew it was for the best.

''I'm glad you called me,'' he murmured with a little smile.

''And me reassured that you still love him.''

''Let's be in touch ?''

''Sure,'' Max said. ''Goodnight.''

''Goodnight,'' Magnus murmured before hanging up but he didn't sleep, he couldn't.

How could he when his heart was bleeding ?

*

Catarina's friendly meal arrived too quickly for Magnus. He was in a woeful state after nights and days spent thinking about his relationship with Alec again and again.

He had the impression that it had been an eternity whereas only a few days had passed since their last conversation on the sidewalk. It had happened too quickly for him to be able to explain what happened to the others and why he had difficulty to recover.

He felt shitty, there wasn't an other word to describe better how he currently felt. It wasn't the first time but it never had been this painful. He hoped that Alec had contacted Catarina to explain his absence but he knew deep down that he hadn't.

He was scared to go, which was stupid as Catarina was a longtime friend, it was actually Izzy and Jace's presence which intimidated him. They were rather unpredictable, more impulsive, so he couldn't anticipate or imagine their reaction when he would tell them that it was over between Alec and him.

Did he have to tell them?

All this time, Alec had concealed this girl... Magnus came to wonder if he couldn't conceal the exact reasons for their temporary separation as well and pretend that it wasn't that serious.

He knew he couldn't and would lack credibility, he was madly in love with Alec and everyone perfectly knew it, which suggested that the break-up was Alec's fault.

Magnus heaved a sigh and buried his face in his hands. What had forced him to come? He should have stayed at home, saying he was suffering because he was, and he wouldn't have to explain anything to anyone and wouldn't have to formalize his separation with Alec.

He wanted to run away but what was the point, the elevator's doors would soon open and the apartment of Catarina would be only a few steps away. The doors opened, he took a deep breath and went out, slowly walking down the corridor to delay the fateful moment. He pressed the bell and waited, the heart madly pounding. It wasn't too late to leave and apologize later.

Catarina opened the door with a smiling face.

''You're late, I was getting worried ! Where's Alec ?'' she asked with a frown seeing that he wasn't behind him.

''He won't come,'' he managed to say.

''Oh...too busy ?''

''Kind of...,'' he murmured.

Catarina frowned, stared at him and closed the door behind her. ''What's wrong ?'' she asked. ''You don't look okay.''

 _Because I'm not_ , he thought.

''Something happened ?'' she insisted with the same worried expression.

Magnus said nothing, he didn't want to confirm or confess anything. Especially to Catarina, she liked Alec but she had told him before that she had concerns about their relationship. She had foreseen from the beginning that something was wrong and it made Magnus sadly smile.

''What are you doing ?'' asked Ragnor while opening the door with a smile which turned into a worried wince. ''What's wrong ? You didn't bring any dessert?''

Magnus had totally forgotten and apologized with a wince at Catarina.

''It doesn't matter, come in,'' she said before pushing Ragnor.

''There won't be any dessert,'' he apologized while coming in.

Izzy frowned and stood up from the couch where were also sitting Jace, Simon and Clary. They were watching an episode of a show he didn't know.

''Where's Alec ?''

''Busy.''

''Are you okay ?'' she asked. ''You don't look okay.''

Jace and Clary stared at him, they all were.

''Let's eat,'' Catarina cheerfully said before removing the extra cutlery and the chair originally there for Alec.

Magnus felt sick with their stares. He wasn't ready to tell them.

Clary sat down beside him and exchanged a strange look with Catarina, Magnus rolled his eyes guessing what they were plotting. Izzy's look was the one that disturbed him the most, as if she had guessed that something had happened with her brother.

Women's instinct was scary.

He was nevertheless obliged to explain his condition when Catarina, annoyed by his silence and his sulkiness, asked him in the middle of the meal what happened.

"You behave like Alec when something's wrong," Jace joked and looked at him for a long time. "Come on spit it out."

Magnus glared at him. "We're not together anymore, he was unable to choose between me and his fiancée," he announced in a tone he hoped to be detached when he knew it was the opposite.

''What ?'' Izzy hissed with narrowed eyes.

They all had the same astonished expression, a little shocked and surprised to know that they were no longer together.

"Alec has always been emotionally constipated," Jace sharply and firmly said while looking at his sister.

Catarina looked frightened. "What do you mean by he has a fiancée?"

''What do you mean by he was unable to choose ?'' asked Clary with a frown.

Simon and Ragnor were the only one who were silently looking at him with concern, without asking him anything.

Izzy was frozen and stared at her glass gravely before looking up abruptly to stare at him aggressively.

''Who ? What's her name ?'' she asked.

Magnus refused to tell her name, which made Jace raise his eyebrows.

''Magnus,'' firmly said Catarina. ''If you're not more talkative than that I'm ready to torture you with my fork.''

"And me with my spoon," Simon added, licking the said spoon.

''Me to torture Alec, '' Ragnor said looking at Izzy and Jace. "You knew about this fiancée?"

"No, the opposite would have been amazing," smirked Jace. ''But honestly I'm not really surprised either.''

"I do, how long did he have this fiancée?"

''I was with him before her,'' finally answered Magnus.

''Then why did he agree to be engaged if he had you ? For Robert who knows he's gay ? I don't know which one is dumber...'' Izzy murmured while staring at the ceiling.

''Were you forced to break up ?'' asked Jace. ''I mean he's gay, nothing would have happen with this girl.''

Clary pinched his hand.

When Izzy took her phone to call Alec, Jace threw himself at her.

''We'll go to his place, it'll be better,'' he grumpily said.

Magnus frowned and opened the mouth but Jace didn't let him talk.

''This is a family problem and deeper than I thought, as you said that he wasn't able to choose... The perfect little soldier is going to get into big trouble. You did well to dump him, it'll open his eyes.''

''Jace,'' Izzy snarled with narrowed eyes.

''I understand him,'' stated Simon who slightly flinched when Magnus stared at him.

''Really?'

"I said that I understand not that I agreed," he insisted. "He was unable to choose between reason and feelings and he always did what your parents wanted him to do, right?" he said, looking at Izzy and Jace who nodded. "And bam, Magnus arrives, messed everything up... I mean, Alec wasn't going to change overnight and throw everything away, he's not like that."

Yes, but while accepting everything from his parents, Alec condemned himself to a life where he couldn't be happy. Magnus didn't want to be the hidden lover or the short-lived lover whom Alec wouldn't have assumed in front of his parents who apparently knew about him -according to Donovan's reports - and pretended that he didn't exist, maybe that was why they found a girl for their eldest son.

The conversation became more and more chaotic when Clary and Catarina tried to make him react by talking about finding someone else.

''I still love him,'' he angrily protested. ''I'm just waiting for him to choose what will be good for him.''

"And what if he still believes that Robert is good for him?" Izzy asked. "That's what he has always chosen until now, you'll wait a long time."

"Yes, but he loves Magnus," Clary said.

Jace sighed and looked at her for a long time. ''So why did he accept this engagement if he loves Magnus? He should at least have talked about it, even to us, we would have helped him."

''It's as if you weren't siblings,'' retorted Simon alluding to the fact that Alec was very secretive.

And they talked about his not talkative side, Magnus buried his head in his hands. He couldn't stand it any longer and met Catarina's piercing gaze, who rose noisily.

''My friendly meal is a disaster so I'm kindly asking you to go home, not you Magnus,'' she pointed out when the latter tried to get up.

"You're throwing us out?" Jace asked, astonished. '' I can't believe it, not to mention that for once the meal was good.''

She stared at him whereas Ragnor was the first one to stand up.

''I still have a lot of work to do,'' he said. '' And Jace was right it was good for once,'' he joked, avoiding her pat.

Magnus stiffened when he felt his hand on his shoulder.

''Call me, I want to know the whole thing,'' said his friend before leaving.

Jace and Izzy also wanted to know the details, they all wanted to know and had no intention of leaving. However, Clary and Simon were soon ready to go and were waiting for the troublesome siblings to leave with them.

Catarina narrowed her eyes when she saw that they didn't want to leave.

''If you want to know something go ask you brother,'' she almost hissed.

Magnus, ill at ease, stopped clearing the table.

Jace's eyes widened. ''Hey!''

''I have to take care of him,'' she insisted, almost kicking them out.

"He's the one who brokes up with Alec," Izzy protested.

"You're not going to argue, right?" chimed in Simon with a frown between Izzy and Catarina who looked at each other aggressively.

''No,'' Magnus sighed. ''They won't, right ?''

''Of course not,'' mumbled Izzy. ''Let's go,'' she coldly said before glaring at Magnus who winced.

And they were all gone.

Catarina sighed. ''I have to fight to have you all by myself, '' she simply said.

"I can't believe you were so impolite with your guests," retorted Magnus as he finished clearing the table.

She snorted. ''As if, it's your fault anyway.''

Magnus gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes before going in the kitchen. ''I don't want you to hate him.''

''I don't,'' she said before taking a sponge.

''You never really were for him and me anyway.''

She didn't answer and wiped the table.

 

Magnus was sitting on a folding chair on her balcony and grabbed the glass of wine she handed him with a small smile.

"Why didn't you tell me, I mean when it happened? It's been three days."

''It happened too fast and I didn't want you to hate him.''

''Magnus, I don't hate Alec. I'm not really surprised to see how your relationship has ended either... Remember, I wasn't very excited about your relationship at the beginning... Alec and you are very different and you made me understand that he would choose his family before everything else... and he did with this girl...what's her name?''

''Lydia, Lydia Branwell and he had been unable to choose between me and her so I left.''

And his heart sank deeper in his chest, making him unable to breath.

''Do you remember his father?'' he asked.

''Of course, how could I forget this man,'' she smirked before sipping her drink.

''I want Alec to be able to stand by himself, to realize that his father is harmful and that it can not continue. It's not a life, I don't know how he managed to live dealing with everything by himself and the worst thing is that he never told me about it, he never wanted to.''

Catarina seriously listened to him. "That's why he didn't want to move in together with you?"

"No, he wasn't ready."

She nodded.

''So you dumped him to make him choose you in the end and what if he doesn't? Izzy said earlier that he always does everything his father asked him to do, why would he change? He didn't change when he was with you and even agreed to have a fiancée.''

Magnus winced when he heard the f word. ''He loves me and I love him more than anything else and he knows, well he probably doesn't think that I still do as I suddenly dumped him.''

''So you'll wait for him to make the right choice?''

''Yes, that's the plan.''

''What if he continues to choose what's bad for him?''

Magnus rolled his eyes and straightened up on his chair.

"That's what he always did," Catarina insisted. ''I find it hard to believe that he's going to suddenly change like that, not to mention that he's...uh...''

''I know,'' Magnus said to help her.

''I'm scared that you'll eternally wait, imagine that he marries her in the meantime!''

Magnus stared at her. ''I won't allow it,'' he protested. ''I told Max that I'd kidnap her and take her dress and her place.''

She snorted. ''You'll be a fantastic bride, the little Max knows everything?''

''Yes, he called me last night.''

Catarina wiggled on her chair. "They're not lucky to have such a father," she murmured. "Mostly using Donovan to watch them, he was harassing Izzy in high school and Alec had to hit him."

"He almost got fired," murmured Magnus. "He hates them, so Robert exploits him to make sure he's doing a good job."

''With good reports.''

''Where my name has appeared many times.''

''Too much for the parents, hence Lydia Branwell.''

Magnus sadly smiled. He sincerely hoped that Alec would take the right path, the one which would be good for him and preferably where his father wouldn't be. He had suffered enough but he had to figure things out by himself even if Magnus was scared to leave him alone, although he had always wanted to be left alone with his issues.

He hoped he wouldn't have to wait long before getting back together .

*

The next morning Magnus decided to call Izzy, remembering perfectly the look she had given him before leaving.

"Catarina has calmed down?"

''Yes,'' he sheepishly answered.

''Great,'' she said without any enthusiasm.

''I'm sorry for yesterday I...''

''Don't worry we know everything thanks to Max given that Alec wasn't chatty last night,'' she casually said.

Magnus blinked, put his cup of tea on the table, and frowned. "Did you see Alec? Is he okay?''

"Yes, Jace and I saw him and he looks like someone who got dumped."

Did it mean that he was okay?

''Is he okay?'' he asked again.

''What do you think ?''

He frowned, wondering if she resented him for their breakup. He was responsible but still it was Alec's fault if he had come to this extreme. He had thought that she had understood. The silence that followed was awkward and Magnus was almost ready to hang up.

''We told Alec that desperate situations call for drastic remedies,'' she finally murmured. ''We'll let him be by himself as he doesn't want to share anything with us and as he is doing like he's all alone whereas he have three siblings, had a boyfriend who loved him as he was, and friends who care about him. We're still friends Magnus, even if you got interested in Jace and me only because you wanted to know more about Alec...You weren't this friendly with him or me before meeting Alec.''

So she had noticed, it was true, he couldn't deny it.

''I like you,'' he said. ''But it doesn't prevent me to think that Jace and you are troublesome.''

''I know,'' she snorted. ''This is what makes our charm.''

''So Alec?'' he asked again.

She sighed. ''He seemed okay, but if you're really worried go ask him yourself.''

Magnus mumbled something before drinking his tea.

''You know,'' she said. "We always knew that we were being watched, not by Donovan of course, and I think Jace will punch his face because he holds him responsible for your break-up with Alec, by the way Alec is also watching us, but because he cares about Jace and me, not like Robert who finds that we are a pain in the ass and that we are troublesome.''

She had said that in a way which made Magnus frowned.

''Anyway, Alec needs to think and fortunately he is smart enough to know what he needs to do, he's just a little slow."

''He's afraid too,'' he murmured.

''Maybe but I don't understand why he is scared of Robert then.''

Magnus didn't understand either.

*

He had never hated his phone so much.

He was dying to reply to Alec's messages and calls, but it went against what he wanted: to make him miss him, to make him understand that he had been stupid and that he had to choose between Lydia and him.

Reconciling the two of them wasn't possible, it was like putting a wolf -representing the authority of the Lightwoods- and an adorable sheep -Magnus- in a shed. A coexistence wasn't really conceivable. Unless the wolf became a vegetarian, in other words, that the Lightwoods began to tolerate their son's homosexuality.

It was either his parents or him, knowing that they didn't seem fond of Magnus. They didn't seem fond of anything either and destroying their eldest son seemed to be their favorite pastime.

He sincerely hoped that Alec would choose what was good for him, in other words, him. It was a necessary break-up, in order to better get back together, he hoped that Alec would understand and do everything to go that way.

*

But the more the days went by and the more he missed Alec. The pain was too sharp, too intense and too painful to bare anymore.

Magnus was even sleeping in one of Alec's t-shirts and had almost built an altar dedicated to his stuff.

Ragnor shook his head. ''You hit the bottom, you're the one who've dumped him.''

Magnus missed Alec so much that it was unbearable. Everything at his place made him remember him, think about him and revived the sharp pain of their separation.

His body refused to believe that it was just temporary whereas his mind had organized it all.

Nothing went right.

He tried to take his mind off things by going out with Catarina, Ragnor or some friends but nothing managed to distract him. Not even alcohol. Magnus felt sorry for himself, was the shadow of himself, he was no longer himself. He was trapped in an endless infernal spiral. He had no more taste for anything and parties didn't change anything.

He needed a break in order to escape from the pain.

He couldn't breath, he suffocated.

That was why he looked on internet for a place where he could go, far from here. He needed vacation and was hoping that even there he would stop thinking about Alec. He quickly found a villa to rent near the sea on the island Saint Lucia but immediately thought about Chairman Meow that he couldn't bring with him.

He looked at his cat with concern, if he didn't find anyone to take care of him he would take him with him, but he preferred to have him staying here. All he had to do was to find a trustworthy person. Though, he hadn't planned for Catarina, Ragnor, Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon to be that please with his destination.

''Me too I need some vacation,'' Ragnor said while looking at his booking.

Catarina glanced at the brochure with the same interest than him.

''I need a break from everything,'' he hissed, _and from you too,_ he thought.

Jace, who checked each time he came that Alec's stuff was still there, smirked.

''I know someone who's really grumpy since he's no longer with his boyfriend.''

''Jace,'' said Izzy with a roll of eyes. ''Stop it or he won't want you to come, Max can come too ? He loves swimming.''

Magnus blinked. ''I'll go alone, I don't want any of you with me.''

''Even for your birthday ?'' asked Catarina. ''We could organize a party there, it'll be awesome.''

Izzy and Clary immediately giggled to the great displeasure of Magnus that no one wished to hear. He stood up from his couch to get some glasses in the kitchen.

Simon quietly followed him.

''I can't come with my band, I can keep an eye on your cat if you want,'' he offered.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. ''You know how to deal with cats ?''

''My sister had an hamster, dead of old age.''

''Chairman Meow can be sly.''

''Like you ?'' joked Simon with a smile which quickly disappeared. ''I'll take care of your cat,'' he reassured him.

Magnus stared at him. ''Okay,'' he agreed.

*

On the day of his departure for the Caribbean, Simon came at his place for the last instructions concerning his cat.

''If something happens to Chairman Meow, whatever it is, you immediately call me.''

''Okay.''

''And don't be late to feed him or he'll really hate you.''

''I won't.''

Magnus smiled and took the keys from his pocket, giving him his, since Alec still had the spare keys.

''My keys.''

''Yeah, I'll need them, do you want me to check your mailbox ?''

Magnus frowned. ''No, I'll take care of it later.''

He only received bills anyway, nothing important.

He dragged his luggage in the entrance under the narrowed eyes of Chairman Meow, who was standing back. Magnus glanced hesitantly at Simon.

''Don't be shy,'' grinned the latter making Magnus roll his eyes and smile.

''If you see Alec, tell me, if he came to get his things back or if you noticed that someone came over...''

Simon frowned. ''Why do you leave when you clearly don't want to leave ?'' he asked.

Magnus didn't answer straight away, busy to catch Chairman Meow for one last hug.

''I can't breath, I need to breath, I need something new to distract me and to detach myself from everything.''

And because he was too angry. He was scared to be blinded by this feeling and that it would change into hatred. He didn't want this to poison his relationship with Alec and the memories he had. He had to leave, to put things into perspective, to calm down somewhere in order to run away from this anger which was very close to turn into hatred for the one he loved. He would come back when he would get better, not before.

Simon winced. ''You know Alec is a little like a turtle, he must be hidden under his shell so we must wait and let him think. He'll figure things out by himself, he just needs time...''

''I gave him time, he didn't trust me...''

''More time maybe ?''

''I'm still waiting, I'm waiting for him,'' murmured Magnus. ''I've always waited for him and I think I always will if necessary,'' he sadly added.

He just hoped that this time he wouldn't wait for nothing. 

Magnus left for the airport in the evening, not knowing that in his mailbox were Alec's keys and the contracts he had left that same morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only part 4 left now, I hope I'll be able to update for the end of January ! I'll do my best to update as soon as possible !
> 
> I don't know if you remember but Jace said he would have pink hair if Alec got married...hehehehe ! I'll have to write a lot of missing scenes and some missing details, I hope you'll like it !  
> I said there would be a bonus within the bonus and the problem is that I still don't know whether I should write it from Magnus' POV or Alec's one so tell me if you have a preference :)  
> If you don't and don't mind at all then it'll be a surprise (honestly I slightly miss Alec but I'll go with the flow so I still don't know)
> 
> Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy holidays and an early happy new year !
> 
> xx


	20. TME : part 4 [13 to 16] + extra bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm late because of life, winter, and I had forgotten that the last chapters were much longer than the others!  
> And this part 4 is very long with 130 pages... So good luck, I hope you'll be able to read the whole thing (thanks a lot if you do!)
> 
> And I apologize for the mistakes as always ! :)

Magnus felt weird, a mixture of guilt and relief at the thought of leaving. He needed vacation but the feeling of abandoning Alec prevented him from fully enjoying it. He took a deep breath, it was already too late anyway he was already in the plane. He glanced one last time at his phone and looked at the picture of Chairman Meow used as a screensaver. He already missed his cat.

Maybe leaving wasn't such a good idea after all.

He only had one week for him in order to properly rest and to enjoy his loneliness before the others showed up. He wondered sincerely why he had accepted. He didn't mind Catarina and Ragnor, Clary neither, but he couldn't say the same about Jace and Izzy. It was as if they were watching him and didn't want to leave him alone, as to make sure he wouldn't go somewhere else.

They apparently still hadn't understood that he still loved Alec, unless they were suspicious. Maybe both.

He felt relieved that Max would also be here, they could talk about Alec as much as they wanted and Magnus smiled, already imagining their future conversations. His smile saddened when he had to fasten his seat belt and the noose around his heart tightened, making him close his eyes.

Even though he wasn't very comfortably settled and that the narrowness of his sit gave him the impression of being trapped in a can, Magnus enjoyed the flight. The mere fact of flying above the clouds was plenty satisfying.

He glanced at his seatmate when she mumbled a quick prayer when they landed and straightened up in his seat, eager to stretch his legs.

Everyone had had the same idea as him, the plane was full of people and they were particularly slow. _Be patient_ , he tried to convince himself. As soon as he would leave the plane and leave the airport, he would be on vacation, so it was useless to be impatient or annoyed against the whole world.

They were in no way responsible for his murderous mood and his headache.

Nevertheless, he wasn't the only one getting impatient and he rushed out of the plane as soon as he could, happy to finally be able to walk and no longer feeling oppressed. In the corridor leading to the airport, the sweltering heat made him smile and tilt his head backwards. He already could imagine himself out in the sun.

For once his luggage came among the first ones, which allowed him to leave the airport faster than expected. He hadn't expected either that the outside would be like a furnace but the sun pleasantly burned his skin. He was already beginning to feel better after sliding his sunglasses on his nose. His vacation could finally begin.

The villa he rented was extremely well located and had everything he could hope for to recharge: a lot of space and a pool. He put his stuff in the largest bedroom that he explored before doing the same with the other rooms. There were three bathrooms, five bedrooms, a gym, a huge kitchen and living room, a veranda on the east side perfect for windy nights and a pool with a patio on the south side.

Not for a moment Magnus thought that this place was too luxurious, too vast for him, on the contrary, it was perfect to recharge and to review his situation. And for that, he needed space, a lot of space.

He didn't sleep very well the first night, not used by this new environment and the smell of the sheets. And because there was no Chairman Meow and Alec by his sides. Either his cat always slept with him, either Alec did. He never had slept alone and he slightly felt lonely.

He had to tame his solitude again. It wouldn't be easy but he knew that it would do him good.

He was wearing one of Alec's t-shirts which by dint of wearing it had no longer his smell, but it didn't change the fact that he found some comfort by wearing them. He turned on his side and fumbled the floor looking for his cell phone. Simon had replied, he had fed Chairman Meow and had played with him. Magnus put his phone back on the floor. He had left two or three rings behind him so his cat wouldn't be bored, but he knew that he could be very imaginative about games and doing something stupid.

He really missed receiving messages from Alec, even if he had ignored all of them. He regretted. He grunted and buried his face into his unfamiliar pillow with a weird smell before trying to empty his mind in order to fell asleep.

He did absolutely nothing on the first day, except going out to do some grocery shopping. Once back from this excursion as short as fast, he hadn't wanted to linger outside, and wallowed in a deckchair by the pool, his computer near him.

The sun made him frown despite his closed eyelids, his skin teeming under the burning rays. He was completely at the mercy of the sun and finally began to relax, the mind entirely empty. It was only after an hour or two that he realized that his tan wouldn't be perfect if he didn't undress completely. His underwear joined the rest of his clothes on the ground. He was alone, had no neighbor, and only the birds, the sky and the palm trees could see his nakedness.

 _And the coconuts_ , he thought before dozing off.

Like a lazy cat, Magnus spent the week lying on his deckchair to perfect his tan and enjoy the heat of the sun. But he also planned some sightseeing and things to do when the others would arrive. For now, he just enjoyed his solitude and did nothing, it was restful and restorative.

His skin was now darker than before and even all over his body. He smiled with satisfaction while looking at his arms and grabbed his phone. Simon explicitly asked him to stop harassing him with Chairman Meow and sent him a picture of the cat. Magnus frowned and straightened up before narrowing his eyes. He had the impression that Chairman Meow was chubbier but it was certainly because of the picture and the coat of the tabby cat.

He didn't think any further and read the messages that Catarina and Izzy had sent him. They were on their way. They didn't specify when they would all arrive during the day but just in case Magnus put on his swimsuit in order to not shock anyone.

And especially the little Max who had already surprised him with his hands in his brother's pants.

He heaved a sigh and grabbed his cocktail, which no longer had ice cubes, and emptied it in one go. He had gotten used to silence, this calm and solitude. He knew it was going to end when the villa would be invaded. Strangely, he was jaded, indifferent to everything around him and thought that it was a good thing that they came, they would get him out of this torpor, his boredom and indifference which had gradually anesthetized him.

It was just as well

*

Sunglasses on his nose and wearing a swimsuit, Magnus watched them enter and put their belongings in the entrance. He congratulated himself for having dressed himself in due time. He had fallen asleep on his deckchair, and had been suddenly awakened by the bell and the sound of a car getting away

Groggy as he had been, he wouldn't have think for a second to dress before opening the door.

Izzy fanned herself with her hand and tilted her head. "It's so hot," she complained before removing her sunglasses. "You look good," she said looking at him.

Magnus smiled and Catarina stared at him after putting her huge luggage on the bag of Ragnor who winced.

''You got a nice tan, '' she stated.

"Are there any interesting stuff to do in the area?" Jace asked while removing his shoes.

Max brightly smiled at him, a big backpack on his back, and Magnus helped him to take off.

"What did you bring?" he asked with a frown before weighing the bag.

''Enough to not get bored,'' he answered.

Magnus smiled whereas Izzy rolled her eyes.

''He has brought all his mangas.''

Jace frowned. ''You went back to Alec's place?''

Magnus intently stared at Max, waiting for his answer but Max frowned and shook his head.

''No, Alec had no room for them anyway, that's the ones under my bed.''

Disappointed, Magnus followed Ragnor going to the kitchen with the eyes while Catarina was exploring the villa.

''Where's Clary?'' he suddenly asked.

''Outside,'' replied Jace.

''She loves the landscape,'' added Izzy while pulling her luggage. ''Where can we put our stuff?''

''It's even prettier in real than in the brochure,'' declared Catarina while going towards Ragnor in the kitchen, who was drinking his third glass of water.

''I'll show you the rooms,'' he said. ''There's five, plus three bathrooms, a gym, a swimming pool and a patio.''

Catarina and Ragnor didn't seem to care, he stopped and rolled his eyes. ''You don't care about your rooms?''

''We'll take the better ones,'' retorted Jace and this magic sentence did wonders.

Magnus quickly showed them where the bedrooms were and let them choose before going back to bask by the pool.

''Here you are,'' he said with a smile after seeing Clary who was looking at the water.

She was wearing shorts and a tank top with the same blue, Magnus could already see that her skin was already sunburned given the redness of her shoulders. Raising her hair despite the heat wasn't a good idea.

She smiled. ''You look fine.''

''Because I'm fine,'' he snorted before lying on his deckchair. ''Agree on the room with Jace,'' he added with a hand gesture. ''And there's lemonade in the fridge.''

She looked at him for a moment and finally went away, not without taking one last look at him before. Magnus stared behind his sunglasses at the lonely cloud that crossed the sky and frowned when Izzy's face suddenly appeared above him. She had changed her clothes and was now wearing a cream colored swimsuit.

''I took the bedroom next to yours with Max.''

He nodded.

With the same smile, she knelt down next to him. ''So...do you miss Alec?'' she nonchalantly asked.

His stare still focused on the cloud, Magnus didn't react and remained stoic. ''You know the answer and you perfectly know why we broke up,'' he said.

''I'm scared that you forget him,'' she softly admitted.

''I won't,'' he said.

''Good, it's for you,'' she said while putting a paper right in front of his eyes.

He frowned and grabbed the piece of paper. It was a check, filled and signed. Magnus looked at it for a long time and then turned his head towards her before lowering his sunglasses on the tip of his nose.

"Why do you give me a check?"

She frowned. ''For the villa, for Max, Jace and me.''

He couldn't see her eyes behind her huge sunglasses.

''How did you estimate the price?''

''I looked on the website.''

Magnus sincerely wondered what was going on inside her head to have the idea of giving him a check. Perhaps because he had slightly and weakly protested when they had told him that they would also come along, as a way to compensate for the inconvenience.

''You can destroy it, '' he simply said while handing it back to her.

Her eyebrows rose and she took it back. ''Really?''

Magnus put on his sunglasses again and stared back at the cloud which had moved ahead quite a bit. ''Izzy if I didn't want any of you to come, I would have really tell you and none of you would have dared to come, believe me.''

She smiled and crumpled the piece of paper. ''Okay.''

And she disappeared inside to throw away this paper which no longer had any value. She quickly came back to sit by the water.

None of them were expecting the sudden arrival of Max, who rushed towards them, jumped up into a ball and sprayed them with his dive. Izzy and Magnus didn't flinch despite the splashes.

''Max,'' sighed Izzy before shrieking.

Magnus straightened up to see that Max was pulling her by the leg. Izzy disappeared for a moment under water before reappearing, her long hair covering her face which made her look like an evil octopus. She tossed away her sunglasses and threw herself on her little brother with a warrior cry.

Magnus, with a wide grin slowly, stood up, calmly put down his sunglasses and dived.

He was glad that they were here and would have been even more happy if Alec could have also been here.

 

Magnus and Catarina were cooking the diner while Ragnor, comfortably settled in a deckchair, was reading one of Max's mangas, and the latter was having fun with his siblings and Clary in the swimming pool.

Jace, thirsty as he was, quickly came in the kitchen. Catarina handed him a glass of water that he emptied in one go, short of breath. He was pretty handsome with his wet appearance and Magnus perfectly understood why Alec had been into him. Feeling uneasy with Magnus' stare on him, Jace cleared his throat.

''By the way I called Robert before leaving.''

Catarina, who was taking a sip at her lemonade, preferred to leave them by themselves, not without telling Magnus that he would have to reduce the heat in a few minutes. He nodded, eyes still focused on Jace.

"I beat Donovan up too," he casually added before putting his glass into the sink.

Magnus blankly stared at him. ''Why did you do that? That's why you had to call him?''

''No but now he must know and I don't care, I hit him because he spied on us and if he hadn't been there many things wouldn't have happened.''

Magnus exactly knew what he was referring to.

''And he's going to resign,'' he spat.

Magnus snorted. ''You convinced him with your fists.''

''Yeah, he got what he deserved.''

Magnus sadly smiled. ''He only did his job.''

Jace stared at him. ''He chose it badly then, the worst thing is that Robert perfectly knows that he was annoying Izzy in high school and he hired him...I can't believe he did this,'' he mumbled.

Magnus did, this man had no limits and almost no moral and no heart. ''So, why did you have to call him?''

''For Alec,'' he replied while glancing at what was in the pan when he opened it to mix the shrimps and the vegetables. "I know you dumped him because you want him to change and we also do, but frankly... Izzy thinks that he'll never dare to oppose our parents."

''You neither.''

''No and I don't think that he would do it now.''

Magnus stared at him which made him roll his eyes.

''Even if he said that he loves you...Alec is...uh...Alec, you know, he suppresses everything, he always holds back.''

''Thanks to your parents,'' Magnus hissed.

''Yeah, so he has changed thanks to you, I could see it but honestly I don't know if it'll be enough to go against everything.''

''He has to, for himself,'' Magnus murmured. ''I...Alec don't talk a lot but he's not that difficult to understand, I've learned how to interpret a lot of things that he never wanted to tell me and I still don't understand him, I don't understand why he has accepted all that. It goes against what someone should accept, even out of love for his family, his homosexuality that your parents have tried to snuff out in him and this fiancée, it's nonsense. But he has accepted everything, I don't understand why.''

''Because it's Alec,'' suggested Max, a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

They turned around in one movement and stared at him.

''Since when are you here?'' asked Jace.

''Not from the beginning, Catarina wants to know if it's ready.''

''Almost,'' said Magnus.

Jace took two shrimps and gave one to his little brother before dragging him outside.

*

Saint Lucia had a certain charm and the most enthusiastic one was Clary who was always outside with her sketchbook and her pencils to draw as soon as she had the opportunity between several getaways and bathings. Jace always came with her and appeared on almost all of her drawings.

"I've never seen myself this much on paper," he snorted, looking over her shoulder that he kissed before diving into the seawater.

Lying on his towel, feet in the sand and in the shade of a beach umbrella, Magnus watched Izzy taking selfies with Max. He thought back about her check with a sigh and sadly smiled.

''Where's Ragnor?'' he asked Catarina who came back with the half of a coconut and a straw twisted in all directions.

She shrugged. "Don't you think that the waiter he's cute?"

He straightened up and followed her gaze. ''From behind yes.''

She rolled her eyes. ''He's cute and stop being in Alec forever mode, we know that you miss him so stop being grumpy.''

''I'm not grumpy.''

''You are.''

''I'm not.''

''Whatever,'' she said with a sigh. ''We're going out tonight, I think there's a street party or something planned.''

He agreed with a nod and held out a hand to see what Clary was currently drawing. She gave him her sketchbook and he almost rolled his eyes when he saw a sketch of Jace.

''You're ruining your talent,'' he teased before looking at the other pages.

Clary pinched him and lay down beside him on his towel while patiently waiting for him to finish looking at her drawings. They all had a softness, a precision which showed that she was very observant, much more than he would have thought. Her style was very different from her mother but she had the same talent and Magnus glanced at her with a little smile.

His smile widened when he saw that she had drawn Chairman Meow on his lap, he recognized one of his pants and the caramel hand covered in rings. There were also some drawings of Catarina, Ragnor, Izzy and even about Max reading a manga.

"No Simon?" he nonchalantly asked.

''Not here but at home.''

It was when he noticed that there was no drawings of Alec either, that he fell on a page full of him. He glanced at her out of the corner of the eye and looked meticulously at each of her drawings. He was never drawn entirely but each time, there was a piece of black clothes. He slightly smiled when he looked at Alec's profile that she had meticulously drawn. His gaze scanned the aquiline nose, the jawline, the throat, the neck, and he got lost into his contemplation.

''He has a pretty profile,'' she murmured, leaning on her right arm, her face almost touching his shoulder.

''You have good eyes,'' he simply said while looking at the arm she had drawn. This arm had nothing special and was covered with a black sleeve but Clary had drawn it in a certain way so that the eyes would be immediately attracted to the wrist where a black line appeared. It was the arm that had the tattoo of an arrow.

Clary had really good eyes as Alec never showed any of his tattoos to anyone despite their beauty.

''It's an arrow,'' he revealed. ''All over his arm with geometric figures.''

Catarina noisily sipped her coconut milk and apologized with a small smile. "Does he have more?" she asked.

''All over his body,'' he murmured while turning the page.

Clary didn't say anything and stared at him looking at her drawings.

*

During this stay, Magnus learned a lot about the curious family that was the Lightwoods by listening to the siblings talking to each other, but not only with that. Izzy finally confessed that actually Robert had asked her to influence him in favor of Idris for a possible investment whereas Magnus perfectly remembered that she had told him the contrary a few months ago.

They often talked by the pool, and either on a deckchair or on the couch in the living room, Magnus could hear their conversations that were most of the time about Alec. Max found the situation too simple and didn't understand why their big brother had agreed to spend time with a girl chosen by their parents whereas he had Magnus. It didn't fit Alec's character and his values, and because it was contrary to what he was.

 _It hadn't prevented him from blindly obeying his father,_ thought Magnus.

He then learned that Maryse Lightwood was depressive and that Robert was unfaithful. Out of the three, Max was the only one who knew the most about their family issues. Izzy only didn't know about her depression whereas Jace didn't know anything, and Magnus wondered if Alec knew. He was pretty sure that he wouldn't have tell him in any case.

His eyes widened when he heard Izzy cursed Lydia Branwell.

He had thought the same thing but had to admit that this poor girl wasn't responsible for anything at all. And she seemed to be on good terms with Alec. He remembered that evening in the restaurant and that she smiled a lot, before suddenly wondering whether she felt something for Alec or not.

Maybe they were together at this very moment, he scowled and watched Catarina coat Clary's back with a cream for her sunburn, who winced and slowly breathed out when she smeared her skin.

Magnus straightened his cushion in his back and lent an ear to hear the things that the Lightwoods had to say to each other. Out of everything he had learned, he clearly had the impression that Alec, as the eldest son and the heir, was the favorite, but it was contradictory to the way his father treated him, which meant that he had been at some point and probably before his homosexuality got discovered. Though, he didn't know who had to be pitied between Alec and his siblings.

Alec was a prisoner of the attention his parents had for him, Izzy and Jace had been forsaken because they had no value in their parents' eyes and in order to have peace were gorged with money to compensate for the lack of attention. As for Max, being the youngest was an advantage, he was the one with whom their parents behaved normally, their mother had even called him not so long ago. Still, he had to feel quite lonely in the family home and had to see every day the remains of a family that had never been united.

While taking his phone, he wondered if it made Robert feel better to always belittle his family, he certainly had issues but Magnus didn't care that much. With a small smile he looked at Alec's pictures on his phone that Izzy had sent him and looked at those he had secretly taken. He still missed him and more than before, he just got used to feeling this lack.

*

Alec would have hated it. There were a lot of people, it was hot but Magnus wouldn't have been against seeing him in a swimsuit. He even wondered if he would have had a sunburn like Izzy or Max. Maybe he wouldn't have agreed to go there and he sighed, anyway he wouldn't have had this ad-libbed vacation which was the consequence of their breakup, and the trip that he would have liked to do together for his birthday wouldn't have been in this place. He would have chosen a country or a city in which Alec would have liked to go.

A small voice in his head slyly whispered that it was his fault and it was, in a certain way, otherwise they would have been together for his birthday. But he was glad that it happened somehow in order to improve their relationship.

A little more than a month had elapsed, Catarina and Ragnor had never taken so much vacation in their whole life, except when they were younger, and now the vacation was over for Magnus, who had to work remotely.

Ragnor, who seemed to worship Max's mangas, was comfortably wallowed in the couch. For once, he wasn't hanging around with a certain young lady whom he had met in a bar. He didn't talk about her and quietly went out by himself to meet her to come back early in the morning but nobody really dared to tease him about it.

''It's okay for you to stay here for so long?" Ragnor suddenly asked Max, who was walking through the living room with Jace.

"Yes," he replied, surprised.

''Maryse has stopped harassing him to come home,'' smirked Jace while ruffling his hair.

Max rolled his eyes and sat at the table next Magnus who was writing a report on his computer.

''Did you have fun?'' Magnus asked with a grin.

Max nodded. ''Jace has fallen twice from his quad bike.''

''There was a dog on the road," grumbled the latter while opening the fridge. ''And the second time I didn't see the tree branch, and you also fell off.''

''Because I laughed too hard,'' Max retorted with a huge grin.

Magnus snorted and grabbed his cocktail. Then, Izzy appeared with disheveled hair and not very awake, her phone in hand.

''Can I borrow your computer?'' she asked with a frown.

Magnus nodded, saved his work, closed some tabs and stood up.

''Clary's still asleep?'' asked Jace while sitting down.

''Yeah,'' she said, her eyes entirely focused on the screen. ''Did you watch your bank accounts recently''

Jace frowned. ''No why?''

Magnus stared at them, wondering if their parents had abruptly cut them off.

''If you have some money issues I can help you,'' he suggested.

Max, Izzy and Jace gazed at him and he suddenly felt like he was intruding.

''On the contrary,'' Izzy murmured. ''There's a huge sum of money in my bank account and it's not normal, and thank you.''

"How much?" Jace asked while standing up to have a better look. His eyes widened. "Let me look for me," he asked before pushing her.

He lengthily and quietly looked at the screen with a frown and sighed.

"I don't get it," Izzy said with a dubious pout.

''It's not normal,'' added Jace with a frown.

"You got a lot of money?" Max asked before eating a piece of melon. ''How many?''

"Too much," Jace answered evasively.

Magnus stole a piece of melon from Max and silently looked at them. Izzy then spied on the facebook account of a girl named Maia who appeared on too many pictures with Simon, she even woke Clary up to find out if she knew her.

And Magnus rolled his eyes, annoyed by these couples issues to which he was no longer entitled.

*

His birthday showed up faster than expected and he felt no joy, no excitement, nothing. And yet, it wasn't much different from the year before. The context was just not the same.

They had prepared everything while he was out in town. He had discovered a small shop where they were selling books about all the local legends and traditions. It was the kind of things that Alec liked to read so he bought one, beginning to anticipate what would happen upon his return with Alec and about them.

And yet, he was scared to come back. He had fled the pain, Alec, the memories and was afraid that all of this would be useless and that nothing would have changed. His biggest fear was that Alec hadn't done anything and had decided to not change.

Magnus had thought that he wanted a new Alec, an Alec who would choose him but if he hadn't, it didn't mean that he didn't want him anymore. Perhaps distance and perspective would have improved things in a certain way.

He sadly noticed that he was thinking of going back with him even if he hadn't reacted for his own good and even if he hadn't stood for himself. In this case, Magnus was seriously thinking about doing something for him and releasing him from his family, but nothing guaranteed that Alec wanted to be set free. Technically he was free, he had just stuck himself in this situation, and on his own, as if he had lost his way.

Magnus had a thought for the labyrinth tattooed on his heart and that had no exit. _I'll create one then,_ he thought before pondering that he was again too lenient with Alec just because he loved him. He missed him but feared that the latter didn't miss him as much. It was a possibility, and Magnus had always had to take the first step so he no longer minded to be the first one who would go to him.

The opposite was as unlikely as unimaginable and the worst was that Alec had never realized that he had always been ready to do anything for him.

Magnus loved him to the Moon and back, he was ready to go back to him but secretly hoped that Alec's feelings would work in his favor and not to the reason demanded by Robert.

 

There were only couples at his surprise birthday party which was not really a surprise. Magnus recognized a few faces and Max told him that Catarina had invited them on purpose for the evening. He didn't hide his astonishment at the idea that some people had decided to come specially for the occasion, and not only for the party, but he was strangely jaded. He couldn't help it.

It was only when he went back inside his room that he saw his presents on the bed, Izzy had yelled at him and pulled him out of the room to take him into the living room so that he partied with the others.

But Magnus didn't want to party. For once, he would have liked something simpler and less crowded. And for once, he preferred to isolate himself and went to settle in the hammock in the veranda. At least he wanted to do so but Max already occupied the spot and was playing a game on his phone.

He looked up. ''Happy birthday.''

''Thank you, you bought me something?''

"You said that you wanted a pineapple so I bought you one, it's in the kitchen."

Magnus snorted and sat on a deckchair.

"You don't like your party?" Max asked before straightening up, making the hammock swing.

Magnus shrugged. ''Too much partying kill the party,'' he simply said.

Max nodded. "Clary's still sulking?"

Magnus gave him a surprised look. "Why would she be sulking?"

"Jace was surrounded by girls just now, she didn't look happy."

He hadn't paid attention, however he had seen Ragnor with a girl and had recognized the waiter whom Catarina had found cute among the guests.

''Who would... So how was your vacation? Do you want to go back?'' he asked in a lighter tone.

Max frowned. ''It was great and fun but I want to go home, there's Alec,'' he said while glancing at him. ''You'll get back together?''

Magnus' throat tightened. ''If he wants, that's up to him.''

''Even if he's still engaged?''

Magnus didn't answer and breathed in. ''You're brother is a challenge, I've never met someone that frustrating and that complicated to deal with.''

And yet, he was pining for him. It was incomprehensible.

''He's a Lightwood, we're all complicated.''

It made Magnus grin. ''You're right I guess...How's it doing with your girlfriend?''

''Good, she's in Mexico.''

Love was surely simpler when we were younger. He sighed.

"What about a piece of pineapple?" he asked before standing up. ''And we can already looked at the dates for our return, '' he added while Max followed him into the kitchen.

*

Everyone was grumpy, except Magnus and Max who really wanted to go back for a certain person and because Chairman Meow was waiting. The tension was palpable in the air, especially between Clary and Jace who didn't really get along since the birthday party which had rather ended well despite the mess left behind, that they had had to clean until dawn.

Magnus hadn't receive any message from Alec, he had expected one and still felt a bitterness and disappointment that made him dread their potential reunion.

Izzy looked at her phone unhappily, checking again her rival on social media, and sat on her luggage with a sullen face. Magnus sighed when he saw the twists and turns that love made them going through. The only one who looked happy was Max. Even Catarina and Ragnor had to end their brief romances and were strangely melancholic.

Magnus was a little scared to return, he had come here to escape his issues not undergoing theirs. He didn't want to experience that again. He had tried to reassure Clary about her relationship with Jace but she wasn't confident, not when there were beautiful girls around her boyfriend, to which he had replied that even a blind person could see the love that the golden boy had for her.

He had given love advice and it had deeply tired him, as well as reviving memories of his relationship with Alec.

''Alright kids,'' said Catarina, clapping her hands to draw their attention. Ragnor, who had drunk too much the day before, raised his head with difficulty, sitting on the couch, Jace next to himwas staring at Clary, who was ignoring him, while Max was putting as much mangas as possible in his backpack and Magnus was looking at his nails. ''The taxi is coming soon, you haven't forgotten anything? ''

''No mom,'' Jace retorted.

Once in the van that brought them to the airport, after the guy's visit for the inventory, Max shyly muttered a _thank you_ to Magnus for the vacation, which made him smile.

"You're welcome," he said before glancing one last time at the villa in which he had been able to fully recharge.

If he had been unfazed during the ride it was no longer the case at the airport where he wondered anxiously when he should send a message to Alec and especially how to formulate it if he did. He wanted them to get back together but would have liked him to no longer be engaged. He didn't know how to formulate his expectations and feelings after that evening when he had leaved Alec behind.

Their separation had been brutal and he suddenly felt the same pain that took his breath away for a moment. He was afraid that this break-up had abruptly erased the feelings Alec had for him. It was an unwanted but possible consequence which was frightening. In a split second, he began to feel a spiral of emotions: happiness to see him again, but also fear, anxiety, and sorrow and sadness for what had happened.

He had put things in perspective and had had the time to analyze things from A to Z. He always came back to the same conclusion: he wanted to get back with Alec but still couldn't decide whether or not the _fiancée_ was a decisive factor for their relationship. Henceforth he was thinking differently from what had led him to break-up with Alec.

Ragnor watched him cogitating before asking Max for a manga when they boarded who gave to each of them a volume with a satisfied smile. The flight was not complete, giving less the impression of being in a can. Magnus sat next to Ragnor and followed Izzy and Jace with the eyes, who sat near them while talking about Alec.

Catarina was with Clary and Max, on the window side, a mask on her forehead that she was ready to lower any time in order to sleep.

"Who had the idea of traveling at night?" Ragnor grumbled wile fastening his seat belt.

Magnus glanced at him after putting his stuff in the luggage rack. He had insisted so that he could arrive early in the morning in order to deal with his relationship with Alec as soon as possible. He sat down and nervously clinched his fists, stressed out by the idea of being back without knowing what was going to happen and not knowing how the situation had evolved during his absence.

He had a bad feeling that he couldn't explain and it had nothing to do with the plane.

He hadn't slept, he hadn't even tried and curiously felt no fatigue. Not yet at least, and even wide awake he couldn't focus on the drawings under his nose. Annoyed, he closed the manga and put it on Ragnor's lap who was soundly asleep.

 _More than three hours,_ he nervously thought before beginning to feel uneasy, he took a deep breath but didn't relax.

They arrived early in the morning and as soon as the plane landed, Magnus pulled his phone out of his pocket to see that it was off. He couldn't remember turning it off, he tilted his head back and swore inwardly. His charger and external battery were in his luggage which was in the baggage compartment.

Fate had decided for himself, he would call Alec once he would get home and right after seeing Chairman Meow.

They got out of the plane smoothly and quickly, and went to get their luggage back with more enthusiasm for Catarina and Ragnor.

"How do you get back home Max?" Izzy asked while rubbing her neck with a wince.

The teenager shrugged. "I don't know, maybe I'll have to take a taxi."

Magnus frowned and stared at him with concern. They were all following Catarina, who was the most awakened and most dynamic one.

''Over there,'' she said after several escalators.

Clary let out a little grunt, with her drawings which were starting to get cumbersome, she was the only one who was bringing back the most memories printed forever on paper. And with the way Jace was looking at her, there were still some misunderstandings between them. Magnus sighed, he couldn't wait to be home to escape from their drama which worsened when a boy dared to compliment Clary's drawings on her suitcase, Jace thinking that she was getting hit on stepped in and worsened everything.

With an eye-roll, Magnus got back Izzy's bag, Max's and his while Catarina and Ragnor were still waiting for theirs on the carousel. Still sleepy, Ragnor didn't notice that his luggage went around more than three times on the carousel which made laugh Max and Catarina.

Then, they had to cross a maze of corridors before finally reaching the hall where people were waiting for their loved ones. Izzy's eyes widened when she noticed Simon in the little crowd and her face slightly brightened despite the fact that she was trying to not show anything.

"He's not here for me," Clary whispered with a small smile.

''He came for me,'' teased Magnus. "He has to give me back my keys."

Simon went towards them slightly wincing but took his time to greet them properly.

''I don't want you to panic but your father is here,'' he said with a wince while staring at Izzy who frowned.

They all glanced at Max who scowled.

''It means that I won't have to take a taxi,'' he murmured.

"I don't think he recognized me," he added before returning the keys to Magnus. ''Chairman Meow is alive and well by the way.''

Magnus grabbed them and looked for Robert Lightwood. He immediately spotted him and the latter did too. Their eyes met and Magnus could swear that he just had been looking at with such hatred that he almost stepped backwards.

''He looks like the boogeyman,'' Catarina whispered, making Max smile.

Upon seeing him come nearer, Ragnor took the opportunity to thank Max for his mangas and hoped that there would be a next time.

"He's not leaving yet," Jace said. "We have to talk with Robert."

''Given that we don't see him often,'' grumbled Izzy.

And Robert Lightwood was here, only staring at his younger son as if Izzy and Jace weren't there.

The three siblings formed a line, as if they had tried to create a rampart against him, while the others were behind them not too far but just enough to let them have some privacy. They had already got a glimpse of the character and seeing him didn't reassure them, on the contrary.

"He's even more scary than I remembered," murmured Clary, who stood back even more than them, slightly afraid that he would notice her.

Magnus wanted to reassure her and tell her that Robert had only eyes for Max but that wasn't the case, he was also glaring at him as if he was guilty of an even more odious crime: like going out with his eldest son.

Strangely, Magnus felt a guilty pleasure although he wasn't unfazed about the situation in which Alec was.

Without greeting their father or anything, Jace and Izzy immediately asked him where the money came from, and why, whereas Max wanted to know how Alec was doing, while Clary quickly explained to Simon the story about the mysterious money.

But Robert Lightwood wasn't in a good mood and seemed slightly overworking, yet it didn't explain why he glared at his children before barking at Max that they had to go home. Without being intimidated, the three siblings still harassed him with questions about Alec waiting for answers.

''I don't know who you're talking about,'' he finally hissed, very angrily.

Magnus frowned, immediately wondering if something had happened.

Jace raised his voice. ''Alec, we want to know if he's okay and if he's still with this girl that's all!''

Magnus had thoughtlessly came closer to hear everything, the heart pounding, expecting something that Alec could have done for himself. He was beginning to believe that if Robert was this angry at the mere mention of his eldest son, something big must have happened and maybe in favor of their couple.

Jace stiffened when his foster father pointed a menacing finger at him whereas Max moved closer to his sister.

''Never talk to me about him ever again, '' he said coldly before adding that it was the same for Izzy and Max. ''He no longer exists, you no longer have a big brother, I've never had this good-for-nothing son. He should never have been born,'' he hissed before staring at Magnus with that same hatred that left him even more speechless after what he had just heard.

Magnus was then cursed and insulted, which widened the eyes of all those who had heard. He perfectly knew why: Robert knew for them and clearly didn't like it.

Dumbfounded by the words he had just heard about Alec and exhausted by the trip, he didn't react much. No one responded, no one knew how to react, no one really dared actually. They all tried to understand why these words had been said.

''I sincerely hope that he's still alive,'' anxiously murmured Catarina, behind Magnus who wondered whether this man who was their father would be capable of such an extreme.

He thought back with bitterness to _he should never have been born_ and his throat tightened. How could a father say such a thing about his own child? Did Alec have finally been able to stand for himself ? Loudly proclaimed his homosexuality? Refused this fiancée and the life imposed on him by his parents?

Was that why his father hated him so much? Just because he was gay and had finally dare to stopped this cover-up?

He had to know what exactly had happened while he hadn't been there for Alec who was now suddenly rejected. His mind was confused and he didn't know what to do exactly, overwhelmed by his emotions and his growing impatience. He had to contact Alec and not give in to panic about the fact that the situation was beyond what he had imagined. He had wanted Alec to protest, to stand for himself and to stop being manipulated but such a reaction from Robert Lightwood showed that it hadn't worked out that well and Magnus didn't know what happened nor what had been all the consequences.

He was extremely worried, which could explain why he immediately rushed outside in order to quickly go home to call him. But first, he took the time to glare at Robert Lightwood with all the contempt of the Earth, exchanged a quick glance with Catarina and Max, who winced when he saw his angry expression, and left.

If Robert no longer loved his son, Magnus was ready to do so. If he no longer wanted him, Magnus was ready to accept him and with open arms.

Once in the taxi, his anxiety, worry and stress about Alec had a new comrade: guilt. Magnus felt guilty about leaving on vacation, he regretted not having been there and this feeling squeezed his chest and prevented him from breathing. He didn't even dare to imagine the state Alec was in and since when.

Magnus had expected a change but not this mess -that had been foreseeable- in which he had no control.

Once in front of his building, he suddenly felt drained after all this adrenaline and emotions he had felt simultaneously, besides the trip. Alec still managed to trouble him, whatever the situation was and even if they were apart. Nothing had changed and it made him slightly smile.

He went inside with relief, pulling his luggage tiredly although his body was still buzzing with anger against Robert and against himself. He furiously opened his mailbox full of mail and dropped something. He lowered his head and stared with a frown at the keys on the floor which looked rather familiar, like the ones that he had given to Alec.

He didn't immediately bend down to pick them up and breathed slowly to control his growing anger. It wasn't what he had expected either. Nothing went as he had planned and the worst was that it had been predictable. He had told Alec to choose before breaking with him. Obviously, Alec had done something to make his father angry and to be banished from the family, and then had acted like someone who had been dumped by returning his keys.

Magnus angrily picked them up, then his mail, and noisily pulled his luggage before taking the elevator. He needed a drink, the alcohol and time didn't matter, he had to calm down before calling Alec. Inwardly and in other circumstances, Magnus could have been happy with this outcome, he couldn't deny it. Alec seemed to have taken control of his life, didn't he? That was what he had ardently desired. He hadn't, however, considered and anticipated the reaction of Robert Lightwood, which was a big mistake.

 _What if he had said these same words to Alec?_ he suddenly wondered with worry. Alec had probably heard worse from this man. He took a deep breath, he had to know how he was was doing and squeezed the keys harder in his fist.

When he opened the door of his apartment, he was surprised to see that his place was probably cleaner and tidier than when he had left. He had to properly thank Simon for taking care of his apartment and his cat.

''Chairman Meow,'' he called, surprised to not see the tabby cat.

He laid his luggage on the floor in the entrance, and opened it after putting his mail and keys on the floor as well. He regretted not tidying his things better than that and had to almost take everything out to find his phone charger. He hurried to plug it near the TV and went back in the entrance to pick up his mail and to put it on the coffee table.

He heard a meow at his feet and lowered his head to see his cat rubbing his fur against his legs. Magnus stared at him, dumbfounded, his mouth half open. Had Chairman Meow always been this chubby? It was obviously his cat, his Chairman Meow, chubbier than ever.

He swore and took him in his arms. He was heavier and needed more space than before in his arms, it wasn't only his fur. Chairman Meow was affectionate and meowed while he was cursing Simon for making his cat overweight. He didn't have to wonder how it had happened and immediately suspected the tabby cat to have used his cuteness for more food.

As soon as his phone was sufficiently charged, he sent a message to Simon in which he scolded him and decided to call Alec. He stared at his number, breathed in, and pressed the little phone before carrying his phone to his ear while Chairman Meow sat comfortably on his lap, sticking his claws into his pants.

He blinked and frowned when he heard a female voice tell him in a robotic way that the number was no longer in service. He looked for a long time at the screen of his phone with a frown as if it was a vulgar insect and tried again before casually going through his mail.

 _Why the heck Alec's number is no longer in service?_ got upset Magnus who hung up and stared, with a frown and clenched teeth, at his mail. Among the bills and ads were two sheaf of papers which attracted his attention. They weren't in a very good condition. They had been folded, crumpled, and one had even been torn and taped.

 _To be a good son,_ he could even read on the most damaged one. His phone still in hand, he read what looked like a contract and where the entire name of Alec and his father appeared. Without a word and with a calmness that astonishment and incomprehension had created, he read everything.

He felt strange, his heart beat faster, his breathing was jerky and his throat tightened.

Lydia Branwell had only been the hidden side of a whole and awful manipulation.

He looked at the date and signature of the first contract. Alec was only eighteen at this time and only him and his father had signed. There was no trace of Maryse Lightwood, on the second either.

It was only an agreement between Robert and Alec, only them had given value to a piece of paper which meant nothing in reality.

Magnus got shaken up. The terms used in each of these worthless contracts were strong, belittling, humiliating and horrifying. He wondered what had felt the eighteen year old Alec when he had to signed and especially why he had agreed.

Everything was written and explicitly explained. It was a ridiculous blackmail where Alec's love for his family had been used. Obviously he had accepted for his siblings -to not let them being disinherited - and certainly to not be rejected either.

Magnus focused his attention on the _'don't be gay'_ that he lengthily stared at after doing the same with the title. The second contract was similar and according to the date of signing, they were together at that time. Some terms had been added, others more detailed, this contract had been adjusted to an older Alec who had apparently tried to walk away from the right path.

Confused, Magnus straightened up and laid Chairman Meow down. He needed a drink. He emptied in one go a shot of vodka which burned his throat and brought him some comfort, despite the maddening morning he was currently living.

Everything made sense now and better than before. It explained why Alec had led a double life with Lydia on one side and him on the other, unable to make a choice between the two of them. This inability to choose that Magnus had interpreted as an impossibility to get rid of the paternal authority and an inability to choose between what he wanted and what was imposed on him, was actually deeper, more disturbing, more distressing and also sadder.

Alec had let himself be manipulated for the unconditional love he had for his siblings and his parents who frankly didn't deserve to have him as their son. There was a reason behind all this and Magnus couldn't believe that during all this time he had tried to strictly follow what was written.

He had obviously failed because he had agreed to date him. Maybe that was why he hadn't wanted at first and that he had looked this terrified that someone got interested in him.

No wonder Alec was like this.

Magnus sat down again in his couch and went through the contracts again. Robert had clearly taken advantage of Alec to ensure that his heir wouldn't escape and Alec did whatever was asked from him. _Asshole,_ Magnus thought with hatred, who understood better the role of Donovan: spying on Alec to make sure that all the terms of the contracts were respected. And as it hadn't been the case Lydia had appeared.

Everything made sense.

The throat still tightened, Magnus thought about the fact that Alec had decided to stay with him and had even agreed to date him, probably in a curious attempt to see what it was like to experience happiness through a relationship. Had it been a way to resist, to behave normally to escape from pressure? He had certainly been an escape for him, a refuge, although Alec hadn't been able to confide in all his issues.

Alec had violated many of the terms but had respected one: to not tell anyone. And yet, he had put everything in his mailbox. Even if Magnus had expected this gesture of confidence throughout their relationship or even that Alec trusted him more, although he never had what he had wanted, he was glad that Alec had finally decided to do it, even now and even after their breakup.

And yet, Magnus couldn't help being angry with him for being so...stupid. But he was still madly in love with this fool who had cowardly given him back his keys. Even though, he was angry, he felt a tenderness that soothed everything he had felt, everything he had imagined, everything he had tried to understand based on his observations. He knew everything now, almost everything, he now had to know what exactly had happened during his absence between Robert and Alec, for him to be disinherited, besides the contracts.

He tore them up and threw them into the bin before wondering briefly if he should have kept them for Izzy, Jace and Max who didn't know. He stared at the pieces of papers, maybe it had been what Max had been looking for all this time. He had always suspected that everything was too simple and Magnus could only admire his intuition.

He let out a relieved sigh when he saw his screen lit up and Max's name appeared.

''I can't reach your brother,'' he anxiously said to him.

''I can't either,'' Max retorted with worry. ''I discovered something on my bed,'' he added. "It looks like contracts and it explains a lot of things, I'll go out soon and go to Alec's place to ask for some explanations."

''We can meet there then, I just found the same thing in my mailbox.''

Max hung up and Magnus put his arm inside the bin to retrieve some pieces of the contracts in order to compare the incriminating evidences.

When Magnus got out of the taxi, Max was already in front of the building with papers in hands and his sunburn on the nose.

''How did it end at the airport?'' he asked to find out if Robert had given more information.

Max grunted. ''I think Alec is officially disinherited, look,'' he said, pointing out what he had in his hands.

Magnus coldly smiled and showed him the bits of paper which he took out from his pocket. ''Alec had been nice enough to put them in my mailbox with my keys.''

Max glanced up and pursed his lips. ''That explains absolutely everything, that's what I was looking for from the beginning! I knew that Alec was doing all of this against his will and that it was weird!''

''They have no value,'' Magnus retorted with a scowl. "It's just something between your father and your brother..."

Looking closer he could see that what Max was holding seemed to be the originals. "You found them on your bed?"

He nodded. ''I didn't say anything to Izzy and Jace...they're busy anyway and so angry at Robert that I don't think it's a good time to let them know.''

Magnus snorted. ''Let's see your brother, he owes us some explanations.''

Max glanced up again at him with worry and dialed up the code. ''Maybe you need to calm down before going in?'' he shyly suggested.

''I'm calm,'' Magnus said in an unconvincing way while pushing the door, closely followed by Max who wasn't convinced at all.

They didn't wait long for the elevator and rushed inside.

"Why were they on your bed?" he asked more softly.

Max shrugged. ''I don't know, nobody's home so I couldn't ask.''

Magnus lengthily looked at him thoughtfully before taking a deep breath. "The moment of truth," he murmured when the doors opened.

"Stay calm," Max whispered, following him. ''I'm angry too but I don't show it.''

Magnus looked at him with a little smile, walked faster and pressed the doorbell. He pressed a second time and for a longer time while Max stuck his ear against the door with worry.

''He should be here,'' he whispered.

Magnus left his finger on the doorbell, which earned him Max's anxious look and a wince. The door suddenly opened and a man half-naked, he was smaller than Magnus, and was obviously not Alec.

Dumbfounded, they stared at each other.

''What's wrong with you ?'' the man angrily spat with a strong accent.

''Since when are you living here?'' Magnus asked when he saw that the inside was totally different.

_Where's Alec?_

Max seemed to wonder the same and his frown deepened.

''Dimitri?'' said a voice inside and a dark-haired woman appeared beside the man. ''What's wrong?'' she asked with a frown.

"We're looking for the one who lived here, how long have you been at this place?" Magnus asked in a voice that he tried to keep calm.

"One month,'' she replied with a defensive tone. ''We went to an estate agency.''

 _One month,_ thought Magnus. It didn't mean anything though and didn't indicate since when Alec was disinherited. It was as if he had vanished without leaving behind him a single trace. And this was the case. As if the keys and the contracts had been a farewell, and he didn't like it, far from it.

_Where the heck was Alec?_

''What's the name of the estate agency?'' he asked.

The woman reluctantly answered.

His mood suddenly worsened, Max politely apologized whereas Magnus strode toward the elevator as they had nothing more to do here. He waited for Max while holding the doors and pressed the button as soon as he entered.

''I'll call Robert,'' murmured Max with worry. ''But I'm not sure that he'll tell me anything.''

''Tell him about the contracts.''

"It's gonna make things worse with Alec... he shouldn't have showed them to you."

Magnus didn't think that he had been the one who had put the contracts on bed. They were the originals, which meant Robert's copies. And the latter wouldn't have taken the risk of exposing himself to the judgment and criticism of his younger son.

They glanced at each other and Max decided to call his father. Magnus discreetly stared at his phone, it was already 3:00 pm, and he was seriously getting hungry, but more like a nauseating hunger that cut off his appetite. He was so anxious and angry that fatigue and hunger had almost disappeared.

''Where's Alec?'' suddenly asked Max, making Magnus look up.

The doors of the elevator opened, but none of them moved. Max rolled his eyes, scowled and opened his mouth several times to talk but apparently Robert didn't let him to do so.

''He hung up on me,'' he exclaimed with astonishment while looking at his phone.

Magnus, who hadn't taken his eyes from him, narrowed them. ''He didn't want to tell you?''

"He said that he didn't care, and he didn't want to know, that Alec had to fend for himself because he wanted to, so he doesn't know where he is...he really has cut all ties with him."

There was now definitely no room for Alec among the Lightwoods just because he had wanted to live for himself. Magnus shook his head and heaved a sigh, when he would stop worrying about him, he would take time to be proud of what he had finally been able to do but not before. They slowly went out from the building and Max gave him a worried look.

''We'll call the estate agency,'' murmured Magnus. ''Maybe they know something... Do you know if Alec owned his apartment?''

Max winced, he didn't know. It was not something that a thirteen year old boy could be aware. They stood outside, in front of the door, and while Max was sitting on the big step, Magnus called the said estate agency.

Unfortunately, they didn't know anything, which upset him even more. Max sighed and looked dejected before pulling out his phone from his pocket, he frowned, rolled his eyes and picked up.

''Yeah?'' he grumpily mumbled.

Then his face suddenly lit up. "Wait, can you send it to me? I won't remember otherwise,'' he said before glancing up at Magnus who frowned. ''Yeah...okay but how do you know? Alec told you? Ah...yeah...thanks, I'll be back soon,'' he murmured before hanging up.

''You got something?'' Magnus hastened to ask.

Max nodded. ''My mother knows where he's living, she gave me his address.''

''Your mother?''

''I don't know how she knows but she knows and that's great.''

''Alec has a better relation with her? They're still in touch?''

''Not really.''

Magnus frowned, he didn't know what to think about Maryse Lightwood although his opinion of her didn't change that much. Max showed him the address his mother had just sent him and his eyebrows raised. He had heard about this neighborhood and not in a good way.

 _Alright,_ he thought while taking a deep breath.

"We have to take the subway," he said. "She didn't have her number?"

''No, if she does she didn't tell me.''

Magnus sighed, not being very talkative and being secretive was definitely running in the family.

 

Their ride in the subway took them some time and as they had never ventured around, go lost until Magnus decided to use his phone to locate Alec's new place.

"My battery's dead," he sighed.

Max's too, but it didn't matter they had arrived and Max's face was priceless. The building and neighborhood's condition wasn't as terrible as implied Max's face who was just used to have a more comfortable life. Magnus wasn't that shocked, he had already lived in a similar place when he was a young immigrant just arrived in America.

Alec had amazingly simple tastes for someone who had lived in luxury throughout his childhood, as he could have seen with his former apartment. Magnus wondered if it had done him something to have this new lifestyle. Probably.

Max winced when he saw the wide open damaged door. They quickly checked in the hall if Alec's name appeared on one of the mailboxes. His name wasn't there but the mailbox with had the number of his apartment didn't have anything written on it.

''Not the elevator,'' warned him Max with worry.

Magnus snorted. ''Don't worry, we'll be faster if we take the stairs.''

The walls which were not in a very good condition gave a gloomy atmosphere to this place. It was just an old building but the contrast was striking between Alec's old apartment and even more with Magnus' one.

Alec was paying the price for his freedom. It had cost him his comfortable life but it was a blessing in disguise, tried to reassure himself Magnus who became more and more nervous as they climbed up the stairs. The contracts that Max kept in his hand were no longer as good as they had been before, he noted, they were slightly wrinkled and the ink was blurred here and there.

Magnus smiled. ''Lucky we are, there's light,'' he joked, making Max turn back and smile before pushing the door to reach the floor.

And they reached the last door of the corridor where Alec was supposed to live. Their eyes met and the heart madly pounding, Magnus pressed the doorbell, the sound startled them and made them wince. It didn't prevent him to still pressed it, to make sure that Alec would hear it.

They had to face facts after checking that it was the right apartment, Alec wasn't here. Max sighed and leaned his forehead against the door whereas Magnus, who had no longer an ounce of patience in him, swore. The disappointment clouded his mood. They had been looking for Alec all day and the latter was nowhere to be found. Each time, they were getting closer without being able to catch him. It was a treasure hunt without treasures, and the disappointment was even greater.

Magnus resented Alec for not being here and thus not being able to give them explanations, not to mention that Max had to return home soon.

''It's no use ringing,'' said a deep and low voice on their right. ''He's not often here.''

They turned their heads in one and same movement toward the voice, and Max's eyes widened while Magnus did his best to keep an impassive face. The door on the right was half open and a man, heavily powdered and wearing a fluorescent pink wig, was looking at them. He seemed to wear what looked like a nightie, judged Magnus by seeing his shoulder and his chest.

_What did he mean by not often here?_

Magnus frowned and began to imagine things that he didn't like at all. ''You know him?''

''Kind of,'' admitted the man with a pout.

And he realized that if he didn't open more his door and seemed to protect himself behind it was probably because of his face. The man first looked at him with pursed lips, then relaxed, as if he liked what he was seeing.

''Do you know when he'll be here?'' asked Max with worry;

The man stared at him for a long time. "No, he comes back very late or not at all, it depends."

"Since when is he living here?" asked Magnus.

The man suspiciously narrowed his eyes with all their questions. ''Why?''

''Because,'' Magnus retorted with an eye-roll which seemed to seriously offend his interlocutor who let out a hiccup.

Curiously, Alec's neighbor had not opened his mouth, which suggested that there was someone else behind him. And indeed, Magnus could see a woman behind him.

''We'll have to come back,'' murmured Max with a scowl.

"Do you have a pen?" asked Magnus to Alec's neighbors. And realized that his question was impolite and slightly aggressive, then he added more gently: '' Please? ''

The man's face softened but he didn't move. He didn't have to, an arm slipped between the door and his head to give a pen to Magnus who took it.

''Thank you,'' he said.

''You're welcome,'' said the voice behind the man with the pink wig who rolled his eyes.

Under Max's eyes and the even more curious neighbors ones, Magnus took a piece of paper in his pocket, on which was written on the back _''be gay'_ '' from the contract. Luck would have it, he wrote his number on the white part followed by a _Call me_ and glanced at Max who shook his head.

''Let him call you first.''

And Magnus slipped it under the door. This way, Alec would know that he knew. He just had to hope that he wouldn't chicken out, not after what he had finally dared to do. He crouched for a moment, wondering if he should have written anything else besides his number.

His throat tightened at the thought that he wasn't here because of someone. What if he had found someone else? He refused to think about it and straightened up before handing the pen back. That day had been full of emotions, far too much for him to handle and he was beginning to feel the effects in a bad way.

Perhaps nothing would happen as planned and the reunion that he had imagined wouldn't be as simple as he had originally imagined. Selfishly, he didn't want Alec to be happy without him or with someone else.

Magnus wanted him to have a place for him in his life, the one Alec had never really given him. There had been one despite the contracts but one with which Magnus had been dissatisfied. He had wanted more, and had been too greedy perhaps, but he hoped that if there was still a place, it would be for him.

**

Exhausted by this unsuccessful hunt, Magnus had collapsed in his bed and Chairman Meow had rushed onto him to curl up against his face. Now that he was chubby it wasn't the same, from now on the tabby cat would be on a crash diet. And he sighed against his fur, regretting not having asked for pictures and for having trust Simon this easily.

He grabbed his phone, at hand, still waiting for Alec's call. He had waited the whole evening and was ready to wait all night if necessary. He had thought for a moment that Alec was calling him but it had only been Simon who didn't understand why he was making a big deal about Chairman Meow. For him, the tabby cat was only slightly fatter, Magnus had then hastened to send him a photo before/after to show him the difference.

Simon had then admitted that Chairman Meow was a lot chubbier, and yet still cute.

It had slightly distracted him from thinking about Alec.

He had always known that he had secrets, the Moon always had a secret side, always hidden, that no one could see after all. What he had told him at the time of their break-up was inadequate, as he had only seen a piece of the puzzle.

How could he have known? Alec had said nothing to him, even if Magnus had seen that there was something wrong. Besides fearing that Alec wouldn't call him back or wouldn't want him anymore, Magnus was scared that he would resent him for dumping him and leaving him by himself.

That would be quite legitimate.

Alec's life had been limited to a piece of paper, for his siblings' sake and to fulfill his parents' expectations. Magnus had been unexpected, something not written and not anticipated by Robert.

Perhaps he had even been a breath of life in Alec's dull and robotic lonely life.

But Magnus couldn't help being angry at him because all this time he had suffered on his own and had allowed himself to be used and treated as a being devoid of feelings to satisfy everyone's needs except his, since Robert had forbidden him to think for himself, to be himself and to want anything by himself.

Magnus wondered why Robert had clung to Alec this much. He was homophobic, had discovered that his eldest son was gay, and instead of disinheriting him immediately, had thought that he would blackmail and threaten him in order to make him sign a dumb contract forbidding him to be gay for not embarrassing the family, and to make him fulfill his duties as an eldest son, otherwise he would have disinherited his siblings and it would have been all his fault.

 _Make sense,_ scoffed Magnus inwardly.

Alec had told him once that he didn't do that well in Idris and that he had never properly worked as a heir, namely as a CEO. Robert had never authorized that and Alec hadn't complained.

Alec could only have been the favorite at some point. Otherwise, why Robert would have bothered to put him back on the right pace with a second contract ? If he had wanted to disinherit his children, he would have done it. He probably got scared of something but what ? Idris was a big firm, so maybe about its reputation. And what if Robert had been afraid to lose Alec ? That could explain the contracts to make Alec stay and provide for the heir position as the eldest.

Alec had been aware that his homosexuality was not a good thing, since he had never said anything to anyone and even before the signing of the first contract, but had he had intended to reveal it? It would have been like to admit that he couldn't be the heir as he was gay.

His throat tightened. Obviously, Robert had been quicker and had hastened to destroy his son to make him stay as the heir he was.

Magnus suddenly wanted to throw up and took a deep breath. He knew that Izzy and Jace had been slightly forsaken by their parents in Alec's favor, and it wasn't difficult to understand that the latter had certainly felt guilty and had immediately jumped into the lion's den for his siblings. Max wasn't included, he was too young and in a much more advantageous position.

And they hadn't been disinherited, quite the contrary. They had received a huge sum of money out of nowhere even if the contracts had been broken though... Magnus glanced at his phone and closed his eyes with a long sigh.

The anger he felt towards Alec wasn't as strong as the one he felt towards himself, to have let things happen without daring to step in. But what remorses were for ? What was done couldn't be undone.

There was nothing to do but move forward and preferably with Alec.

*

He was still waiting for his call. Maybe he hadn't seen the piece of paper or that he had hastened to throw it away without seeing that something was written, unless he didn't care at all. Just like him, Catarina went back to work and he had to admit that it was weird now to be trapped in an office with a leather sit whereas he chilled out in a hammock and on a warm sandy beach just a few days ago.

After hearing from some of his coworkers that they had missed his glitter -the same ones who always whined that he was wearing too much glitter- Magnus got busy checking some files and it was when he least expected a call that his phone buzzed. He didn't know this number and tried to remember if it was a client to whom he had given his number.

''Magnus Bane.''

The silence strangely reminded him of someone, it could only be Alec and he couldn't help feeling relieved that he finally called him.

''Hi, it's Alec,'' he finally said.

 _I know,_ he thought while staring at the pencil holder on his desk, the heart madly pounding and feeling slightly nervous. He had missed his voice and wished to hear him more. Alec had only said four words and he could already tell that he was scared to bother him and that he was as nervous as him.

''I thought you would never call,'' Magnus murmured, happy and proud that he had dared to do it.

''Me too,'' Alec admitted, which made him smile.

But he didn't add anything else which made him roll his eyes. Alec wouldn't be more talkative now and even less with a a topic as sensitive.

''You have nothing to say to me?'' he tried to encourage him.

There was silence and Magnus began to hope that he would open to him but no. Alec was Alec.

''Hum...I know I'm late but happy birthday.''

Alec had finally wished him a happy birthday, it was great but he badly wanted to hit his head against his bureau in an exasperated gesture.

''With everything that happened and explanations that you owe me you only think about wishing me a happy birthday?'' he asked coldly. ''I've never met anyone as frustrating as you,'' he added. ''Even now you're trying to avoid the thick of it,'' he sighed.

''Sorry, it's almost instinctive,'' murmured Alec.

He still avoided the painful subjects that needed time for discussion, it was clearly an automatism that required time in order to stop.

''Are you free tonight?'' Magnus asked a little abruptly.

They had to see each other and speak as soon as possible.

''Why?'' Alec suspiciously asked.

Magnus sighed, their reunion would be more complicated than expected apparently. ''I don't know about you but I prefer to talk face to face and this way I'll know if you're lying or not.''

''I thought you could guess with my voice.''

''The voice and the eyes, I can't see your eyes on the phone Alexa... Alec.''

It had been a while since he hadn't entirely thought or said his first name and refused to do so until they were back together.

''You want me to bring a lie detector? It could help you.''

Magnus narrowed his eyes. ''What a great idea,'' he sarcastically said. ''So you're free tonight, that's good to hear. Let's meet where we last saw each other in one hour.''

Alec hastened to hang up whereas Magnus winced. This phone call hadn't been so successful and strangely reminded him the beginning of their relationship. They had to start all over again and it was slightly frightening as if none of them had the right to make a mistake. They had already done enough.

His day wasn't over yet but he managed to get out slightly earlier to be able to dress up. He didn't want to be late and wanted to arrive early enough to prepare what he was going to say. He had a lot of questions, wanted to know a lot of things, but didn't want to harass Alec or to make him feel uncomfortable.

He nervously waited in front of the Palace but was still angry and this anger numbed him in a weird way. He hoped that it would disappear as soon as Alec would tell him everything face to face.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar and dark figure, he immediately turned his head and his heart missed a beat. Dressed all in black and with a t-shirt which was slightly washed-out, Alec was darkly handsome despite looking tired ans slightly thinner. Magnus peered at him, not knowing if it was because of his dark clothes.

His stare wandered over his arms detailing the black lines he hadn't seen in a long time. Their eyes met and he forgot to breathe.

''No lie detector to what I see,'' he calmly and almost nonchalantly said.

''Too heavy and I thought that my voice and my eyes would be more than enough,'' Alec retorted almost defiantly which made him frown.

''It depends...you'll dare to lie to me?''

''No,'' Alec murmured before looking at his feet.

Magnus lengthily stared at him. Something was off. He looked aloof and seemed to not be very happy to be here. His throat tightened, maybe it was too late for a reconciliation after all. Without a word he went inside with three strides, Alec followed him, so quietly that Magnus turned around to check if he was still there and Alec almost bumped into him, without daring to look at him straight in the eyes, probably because anger hardened his eye and face.

They sat in silence, a silence that was determined to keep them company. The server gave them their menu and Magnus took the opportunity to discreetly look at him. His eye-bags were as blue as his eyes and his skin tone could only seem paler with his outfit. Alec suddenly glanced up, Magnus didn't look away and stared at him shamelessly which immediately made him look down.

This game could go on forever.

''Let's talk business,'' said Magnus while putting his arms on the table.

Alec slightly winced and stared at his fork, and Magnus noticed that he had slightly curled up on himself.

''I knew something was wrong between you and your father...thing that you never wanted to admit or even to tell me...You were eighteen when you signed? What happened in your head?'' he carried on firmly.

With his eye still focused on his fork, Alec said nothing and Magnus wondered if he was breathing. He looked like a marble statue.

''I can guess,'' finally said Magnus. They had to talk in order to go on and to not do the same mistakes. ''So you've blindly obeyed him during all these years in strict accordance with the -and I love this part-  _don't be gay_... So my question is: before, you didn't want me because it was me or because of this damned contract?''

Still, if Alec had strictly respected it, never they would have been together and it made Magnus cringe. He perfectly remembered holding onto him without firmly being rejected. Alec had fled, leaving a flaw behind him in which Magnus had seeped in. If Alec had then properly and firmly rejected his moves on him, Magnus would have simply moved on. Even though, at this point, it had been too late but he wouldn't have insisted more and would have waited for his heart to heal and the attraction he had for him to fade away.

''Both,'' Alec murmured _before_ glancing up again and immediately looked down at his empty plate.

''And when we were together then, you've signed another one... How did you expect to respect the terms as you were violating most of them, uh? I can't even believe you could even do what was written...,'' he lamented with a stunned face. ''You seriously thought that you could reconcile your father and me?''

They were incompatible in Alec's life and what distressed and astonished him was that he had tried to keep around him the people he loved the most no matter what.

''It didn't come to your mind that it would be  _him_ _or_ _me_?''

''No.''

Magnus' expression hardened. _Of course not._

''You intended to do what your dear daddy wanted you to do unto death?''

Alec reacted and glared at him. ''No need to wonder why I never told you,'' he grumbled.

Magnus sat up and opened his mouth, ready to respond harshly but the waiter arrived with their drinks: wine for Magnus and orange juice for Alec who frowned. This was a kind reminder of the fact that Magnus had always given and sometimes made fruit juices for Alec whenever he came to his place. At first it had only been because he didn't like alcohol, hence lemonade at his parties, but it was also because he looked very cute when he drank his glass of juice. Magnus couldn't explain why but he loved looking at him whenever he was drinking.

It softened the atmosphere around them that had begun to fester and their eyes met, almost shyly.

''Why didn't you tell me? Did I give you the impression that you couldn't trust me? '' Magnus softly asked.

He would have done his very best to help him even though he didn't know if he would have reacted in a better way.

Alec didn't avert his eyes. ''Nobody knew.''

''And why nobody knew?''

''Because.''

''Why have you finally decided to tell me about it and put them in my mailbox?''

Had it been a farewell or a way to say that he had finally decided to trust him in order to get him back ?

''Why? Does it change something?'' Alec retorted defensively.

 _Of course it would._ ''No,'' Magnus answered a little harshly.

And he rose abruptly. He remembered their unofficial date during Simon's concert, just after their dispute that had been decisive for their relationship. He had had a terrible urge to kiss him but hadn't done it to not frighten him and because he had already kissed him before during his party. He bent over the table and grabbed Alec by the collar of his top before crushing his lips against his.

This time he had dared.

It was a fierce peck, a little possessive and harsh, but which was showing the thirst and lack he had for him. His teeth brushed his lower lip, as to deepen this simple kiss, and his fingers immediately moved toward his neck ready to deepen this kiss. But Magnus didn't. He finally changed his mind to deepen anything and sat down as if nothing had happened.

Alec was staring at him with bewilderment, motionless. He probably would have made the same face a few months ago and would probably have ran away.

The waiter came to bring them their meals while Alec kept staring at Magnus. He looked confused and it was understandable. Magnus had been the one to dump him, not the other way around.

''I still love you,'' he clarified, trying to be nonchalant while cutting his meat, whereas he was hot and his heart was madly pounding ''Even if you behave like an idiot with me and by letting you manipulate.''

Alec frowned. ''You still love me?'' he repeated, carefully staring at his face. ''Then…why can’t you forgive me?’’ he added, looking more confused than before.

Magnus was ready to forgive him, that wasn't the problem. He resented him for knowingly choosing to suffer all this time and to have done as if everything was fine when everything wasn't. In fact, everything was doing fine for Alec, it was normal to live a situation like this for him, quite normal.

And that was what made Magnus angry.

Magnus, still staring intently at him, finished chewing and put down his cutlery before crossing his hands under his chin.

''You gave me the impression that there was no room for me in your life, there was one but it didn't have the importance I wanted or that I deserved... And frankly, you had intended to do what with me? Be your lover hidden forever? Would you have told me any of that one day Alec?''

''Are you talking about Lydia?’’ he asked.

Magnus' lips twitched at the mere mention of her name.

''You intended to marry her, luckily you got a click,'' he huffed.

''My explanations would change anything?'' asked Alec. ''Because I don't have a single one. I never threw myself in the future as you did and that is surely what the problem is... I only thought about reconcile two things: you and what I had to do, that's all.''

Magnus already had guessed that,

''You were ready to marry her?'' asked Magnus with a raised eyebrow.

He wanted to know if he had a chance against her, if Alec would have changed his mind at the last moment remembering that he had had an amazing boyfriend ready to do anything for him: including breaking up with him to make him open his eyes.

''Not really, we decided to be friends instead and pretend to do as they wanted the time to find a solution.''

''You took your time then,'' Magnus smirked, relieved that there was no unrequited love from the fiancée side and that none of them had considered this engagement like something very serious. ''She knew from the beginning that you were gay?''

''We decided to be friends so it didn't matter,'' Alec answered grumpily. Under his stare, he had to clarify. ''She learned it last time.''

''She reacted well?''

''Why would she have reacted badly?''

Magnus shrugged, maybe she had very conservative parents and was the same, he couldn't tell as he didn't know her.

''Izzy and Jace still don’t know?’’

''I'm not sure if I want them to know,’’ murmured Alec.

Magnus glared at him. ''And why?’’ he coldly asked. ''Max knows.’’

And he still hadn't told him how the contracts had appeared on his bed. Alec didn't seem surprise that his little brother knew, so he assumed then that they had already called or seen each other but wondered why Max didn't tell him anything. Himself hadn't said that Alec had called him and that they were eating together.

''It’s different for him…as for you.’’

''If you don’t tell them, I will,'' he threatened him.

They had to know what their brother had gone through and that his unconfident and turtley behavior were the after-effects of something.

Alec glared back at him. ''It’s not up to you to tell them,’’ he hissed.

''You exasperate me,'' Magnus spat. ''They are big enough stop protecting them. You should have let them be disinherited from the beginning, look where it led you! It turned against you, it was never your spring Alec to ensure their comfort but your parents'. And your father never wanted to accept you, I doubt he would have one day.''

Alec looked at the teeth of his fork with particular attention.

''Even if it is your father he won't be a big loss,'' Magnus continued. ''You should have heard him at the airport when he picked Max... Never I would have wanted to have a father like him, I don't know how you managed to support this man or if he behaves the same with your mother or your siblings but I understand why you have the self-esteem of a turtle and why you were so horrified about your sexual orientation. You're normal Alexander, perfectly normal, whereas he, he's not.''

Alec was strong, strangely strong. Especially with a father like Robert, and with the way he had been belittled all these years. Magnus frankly didn't know where he had drawn all this mental strength to endure all of this without flinching, until now.

Alec sadly smiled. ''I told him that he was the one who was against nature when he told me I was...I immediately felt guilty, it reassures me that I'm not the only one who think this way about him.''

Magnus gazed at him. ''He said something else?''

He alluded to the ' _he should never have been born'_ heard at the airport and the other monstrosities that he had to hear many times.

''No,'' Alec hastened to say.

''You just lied.''

''You must be used to it now.''

Magnus smirked coldly, he was getting good at it. ''You're going to lose at this game and you'll regret even playing at it.''

His phone buzzed, he had just received a message from Max telling him that he had seen Alec last night and that they had talked a lot. That explained why Alec didn't look surprised that Max knew.

''You saw Max yesterday?'' he asked.

''Yes, he stayed to sleep.''

''He asks if you called me.''

 _He did,_ he wrote. _We're even eating together._

''You don't have a new phone ?''

''What's the point? The last time I had one everyone ended up ignoring my messages and my calls,'' Alec said.

_Right._

Magnus looked up and finished writing his text before putting his phone in his pocket and their desserts arrived.

''I'm the only one who has the right to be angry,'' said Magnus firmly before huffing. ''Happy birthday...that's the only thing you thought about when I asked you if you had something to say ?'' he angrily asked. ''I was expecting...I wasn't expecting that !''

''It's because Max told me about it and when you asked about  _something_ I...well...I immediately thought about it,'' he said sheepishly.

''I really wanted to celebrate it with you,'' murmured Magnus.

''You managed to celebrate with your friends as every year,'' he stated almost coldly.

Magnus frowned and gazed at him, the throat tightened. ''You seem so unaffected by what happened,'' he claimed with a frown. ''Did you find someone else?''

Alec blinked. ''You think I'm able to find someone else?'' he asked incredulously.

''You managed to find me,'' said Magnus. ''So? Your neighbor told me you were not often home...''

''For work...what about you?''

Magnus let out a relieved sigh before raising his eyebrows. He still loved him there was no one else obviously.

''I told you that I still loved you so no.''

Alec looked puzzled. ''Yet, Jace told me that Clary and Catarina wanted you to find someone else, they all wanted to find you someone else.''

Magnus smirked. ''What a way to support a sibling,'' he marveled.

''You're friends, friendship is important.''

''I always thought it was more of brotherhood,'' he said with a strange smile. ''And I have not succumbed to anyone else if you want to know, but I doubt that it really interests you.''

Alec was distant, much more distant than before and had this suspicious attitude. He looked like a wounded and wild small animal. Magnus then realized too late that he had hurt him with his remark and regretted his last sentence.

''And what if I care?'' Alec hesitantly said.

''You're not showing it.''

He didn't want to hear immediately his _I love you_ again, there was still time, he just wanted him to be more comfortable and more at ease with him, that he should break down the barriers he had built all around him to protect himself. Almost shyly, Magnus closed his legs around his, wrapping them with his warmth.

After their kiss, it was their second contact and it comforted Magnus who relaxed.

They stayed lengthily like this without moving, enjoying the warmth and presence of the other.

Magnus broke the silence. ''I doubt that you're unhurt from your argument with your father... or even with our separation.... Did you miss me?'' he suddenly asked.

Alec blinked and narrowed his eyes. ''Will my answer change something?''

''Yes.''

''You know what I'm alluding to?'' asked Alec suspiciously.

''Seems you're the only one who didn't understand what I meant earlier.''

''I did.''

''You did what?''

''I did miss you,'' Alec said before averting his eyes.

Magnus smirked and did his best to no look incredibly happy. ''Good, I missed you too and a lot.''

Alec's face lit up. ''So you forgive me?''

''That will be too easy Alexander, you have to make up for it.''

''But you know everything now,'' Alec retorted with a frown.

''No, I don't know everything. You only talked about what was convenient for you and not about what was hidden under.''

''What do you mean ?''

''You can abuse someone with words,'' Magnus declared carefully. ''And do not tell me otherwise, I saw your father many times and I heard some things from your siblings, besides I had a taste at the airport and just by the mere fact that your name was mentioned.''

''So if I tell you everything, you'll forgive me?''

Magnus sighed. ''I want you to tell me because you trust me not because you want to be forgiven at all costs.''

''I trust you,'' Alec retorted defensively.

''Show me then.''

''I will,'' he grumbled.

Magnus slightly smiled, hoping that he really would tell him everything, and grabbed one of his hands to intertwine their fingers together. He frowned when he saw the interaction between the waiter that had just arrived and Alec. Even before their meal began there had been something. He stared at the waiter who politely took his credit card with a little smile.

Surprised, Alec asked him if he intended to pay.

Magnus tilted his head. ''You can afford to pay?'' he teased but inwardly he was wondering whether he had issues with money or not, although with his apartment he seemed to do well.

He could tell that Alec was exhausted but he wanted to spend more time together and the more the better. They hadn't told each other everything yet, and Magnus didn't really want to let him go yet.

''Will it be the same?'' Alec suddenly asked with worry.

A relationship wasn't very the same after a break-up, especially for them. This way they could have a fresh start.

''No,'' Magnus said simply who slightly smiled. ''I hope it will be better. Things were not that well between us, you didn't trust me and we didn't communicate either.... Sometimes you kissed me to shut me up when I wanted to talk about the subjects that you didn't like... and I let you do it because I liked it and I wanted you to love me... That's why I was surprised when you said you loved me...I...well...I wanted to hear those words but not like this, I felt as if I forced you to say them,'' he added with a sad smile.

Alec had winced and slightly tensed up, staring at him with worry.

Magnus realized his trouble and rolled his eyes. ''Tell them when you're ready but I know you do either way you wouldn't have slept with me, right?''

He wouldn't have stayed with him either and wouldn't have taken the risk of disinheriting everyone just to have him by his side. Magnus was moved that Alec had decided to stay with him but was still mad at him because he got engaged and because he hadn't said anything to him. It didn't change much in fact.

''I don't think so,'' Alec answered slightly embarrassed.

Magnus stopped and looked at him with a frown. ''You don't think so?''

He didn't know when he really had started to love him but had noticed that Alec had become more and more affectionate even if it was still clumsy sometimes, but he hoped that it happened before their first time which would have been more meaningful.

''No,'' Alec said uncertainly.

Magnus lengthily stared at him. ''Anyway, things need to change between us.''

Alec had no more excuses for not letting go or trying to run away, he was now completely his. It was as if he had had to destroy a particularly tough enemy, although it was Alec who did all the work, initiated by Magnus in a certain way

He had won this invisible war.

Alec took him home, in his truly shabby apartment, as Max had described his place in one of his texts. He had also warned him about the non-existent decoration and something that would shock him. Magnus didn't really dare to imagine what it was: a bunch of cockroaches? It was very likely, and the presence of rats wouldn't even surprise him.

They did not take the elevator, which reassured him enormously, and they climbed up the stairs.

''It's older than it looks like,'' Alec said with a slight smile.

''Is that supposed to comfort me?''

''I'm just showing you around.''

''What should I expect for your apartment? '' Magnus asked with concern.

They quickly walked the few meters that separated them from his apartment and Magnus smiled in front of the door of his neighbors.

"Your neighbors are adorable."

Alec nodded and turned three his key into the lock quite abruptly before unlocking the door which opened with an unbearable sound. Magnus couldn't tell if the inside was worse than the outside. The walls and ceiling were worse than terrible, they were stained and very irregular.

Magnus came to wonder if this building was up to standard. He preferred to not know. And he didn't say anything, just stared at what was in front of him. He could tell that something was missing but with this different place, this different setting and the fact that there was almost nothing, slightly confused him.

And yet, he knew.

''Where are all your books?''

Where was his collection that made half his place? Magnus remembered that there were so many books that the floor around was crowded. Where were they ? Not to mention that Alec was very fond of his books...maybe he sold them as he had been disinherited.

''He took everything, it was part of the process,'' Alec stated as if it didn't matter.

Magnus blinked. Since when being disinherited meant to remove everything? ''You let him dispossess you of absolutely everything?''

That explained why Max had found his own books on his bed, which made him more angry than he already was.

Obviously, it bothered him, Alec didn't dare to look at him. Magnus couldn't believe that Robert had been so cruel and he resented himself for being so naive. Of course he would take everything and abuse his authority in a last abusive gesture towards the one who had finally dared to rebel.

''You can wash first,'' Alec quietly said.

Maybe it was better this way, they no longer had to deal with each other now and no longer had anything to worry about, even though it must have been incredibly sudden for Alec who had lost everything overnight.

And the tidy sum of his belongings automatically went to his siblings. Robert had a way to deal with his family. A first rate asshole.

He took the towel that Alec handed to him and went into the tiny bathroom that was strangely looked better than the rest of the apartment. He didn't want him to live here but he doubted that Alec would suddenly agree to move in with him. They hadn't spoken about it, busy as they were to kiss during the ride.

Despite their closeness and the fact that they were back together, there still was that distance that had nothing to do with Alec being Alec. It was something else, following their breakup, as if it had broken something. But it had only been to fix what went wrong between them, even if it would take time.

It was as if he had to regain Alec's trust despite not being the one who had lied all along and who had led a double life. It hadn't prevented them from suffering, one like the other, about the way things had turned out.

He opened the faucet in the shower and had to wait for the hot water which wasn't flowing.

''It would be too much to ask for hot water?'' he loudly asked in amused tone.

''Patience is a virtue,'' Alec retorted behind the door.

Magnus sighed, he didn't want to wait as he quickly wanted to go to bed with him. He waited a long time for the hot water to flow and hastened to shower fearing that Alec wouldn't have any. When it was his turn to shower, he looked around and particularly into his stuff and noticed that the few pieces of furniture Alec had weren't filled clothing or food.

He closed the closets with a sigh and shook his head when he saw that the pillows were cushions. He had to get Alec out of this shabby place at all costs but he already knew that it wouldn't be easy. He already had to tame him again, so moving in together wouldn't happen immediately.

Alec finally came out of the bathroom, the hair slightly damp, and to Magnus' delight was only wearing an underwear. He really had missed his tattoos but his joy was short-lived. He had lost weight, not much, but enough for his bones to be more prominent under his skin.

''I feel like I have to tame you again, '' he stated displeased, noting that Alec kept his distance. ''Come closer I won't eat you.''

Alec moved closer.

''You've lost weight,'' he said.

''No.''

''It wasn't a question,'' Magnus clarified while touching his hip with his fingertips.

They carefully looked at the other's body as to notice any bodily change. Magnus' stare wandered shamelessly on Alec's one, lingering here and there and especially on his tattoos as to make him used again of being looked at. With the thumb, Magnus traced the sticking part's outline of his tattoo from his black underwear and moved closer to kiss his shoulder where the Sun and the Moon were. He also had to make him used to his touch again.

They went to bed, and Magnus winced when his knee felt a spring through the too thin mattress. This sofa bed wasn't made to used as a bed and Magnus seriously doubted its comfort as a simple sofa. He carefully lay down and could count all the springs with his back.

Alec turned off the light and slipped into the bed in a din of squeaks. He didn't seem to mind the lack of comfort of his bed, noted Magnus who immediately reached for him before wrapping his arms around him. Alec slightly froze before nestling his face in the crook of his neck, like he used to do before. Then, he slowly stuck the rest of his body against him and Magnus kissed his forehead while firmly embracing him against him.

He suddenly felt better.

''So, how were your birthday and your vacation?'' Alec murmured against his neck.

Magnus snorted. ''Awful, there were only couples around me and I didn't want to go to the Caribbean... or celebrate my birthday with all these people, I barely knew the majority of them. It was messed up.''

Alec smiled against his skin and Magnus told him what he had done since their separation while stroking his back. Then, he realized that Alec was falling asleep in his arms. He was even probably sound asleep already.

''Alexander ?'' he whispered before sticking his lips against his temple. ''Good night,'' he added with a fondly smile before closing his eyes.

But he didn't sleep. He couldn't despite feeling tired. The bed was too uncomfortable and Alec hadn't said everything to him yet, let alone the fact that hugging him kept him awake too. He released him after a light kiss on his shoulder and made the mattress squeak by slightly moving.

The bed was killing him, he had the impression that he was being stabbed with springs. Not to mention that he could hear absolutely everything that was happening inside the building and in the street. He turned his head to stare at the figure asleep beside him. Either Alec could sleep anywhere and at any time, either he was really exhausted, or both.

He heaved a sigh when he heard the sound of the sirens outside and Alec slight moved. With the lighting in the street that had prevented him from sleeping, he could see that he was now awake.

''Your bed is killing me and I wouldn't even call that a bed,'' he whispered.

Alec snorted, slipped an arm under his back that he stroked to soothe the pain away. Magnus took the opportunity to roll half on him, as he looked more comfortable.

''You're so delicate,'' Alec teased still stroking his back.

Magnus hummed contentedly and nuzzled his head into his neck before inhaling lengthily. He felt better this way but it still wasn't enough to properly enough to fall asleep.

''Did they talk about Robert?'' Alec asked.

Magnus lightly caressed his sides. ''Between them, I wasn't supposed to listen... but that didn't prevent me from doing it... I would have said  _go and fuck yourself_  to him a long time ago. I don't know how you managed to deal with him and being your father is not an excuse.''

''Go and fuck yourself?'' Alec repeated.

He probably had thought that many times.

''Want to talk about what happened ?'' Magnus encouraged him by kissing his neck.

''You mean the confrontation?''

''I want to know everything and since the beginning. What you felt, what you did, what he said...everything.''

And Alec did, even if he struggled to start. Magnus tried hard to make him talk by being affectionate and cuddly, which confused him and made him stop talking, then Magnus stopped for a moment before starting again. In a neutral tone and as if he hadn't been the one who had to endure all of this, Alec told him about his childhood, Jace, his adolescence, until the signing of the first contract. He even spoke about his relationship with his parents and siblings with the indifference that Magnus knew was simulated

Apparently, he didn't want to talk about the emotional side of what he had to go through.

He then spoke about himself, their relationship, always with the same tone, what had made Lydia to appear in the second contract, his double life, their separation and what had happened afterwards.

After pointing out to him that Alec was expressing only facts and not what he had felt, the latter confided in a little more but reluctantly, not wanting to expose himself and reveal his innermost thoughts. But Magnus wanted to know everything. Absolutely everything.

Alec was now in his hands, more accessible than ever with this distance between them had narrowed considerably.

To his utter astonishment, it was Jace who had told Robert about their relationship, and not Donovan's reports for which Maryse Lightwood was responsible. He didn't know what to think about her. Not after these new revelations. The Lightwoods were more fucked up than he had thought at first. She was depressive because of her husband -often cried in secret, as Max had once told him- and had always been aware of everything -she was as guilty as her husband- but had encouraged Alec to rebel. He didn't like her more, she had done nothing.

She had done nothing for Alec but just for her own interests by exposing what her husband had done prominently on Max's bed, to make him choose one of them for the divorce. Alec considered that his mother had helped him while for Magnus it wasn't the case at all. She was just selfish, nothing more, and was a very bad mother even if she still kept an eye on her eldest son which had allowed Max and him to find him.

She hadn't done anything when she saw her son suffer because it was his choice and his fault for letting himself be manipulated. Alec had let himself be manipulated under duress and moral violence, there was nothing willing there.

She was no better than her husband finally, even though she had suffered in an unhappy marriage.

He got proud of Alec when he told him that he had claimed loud and clear his homosexuality in front of the Branwells and that Lydia had even applauded. Magnus then tightened him in his arms more than he already did. That explained the behavior of the waiter at the Palace, who had recognized Alec.

Magnus was glad that it was only that and nothing else.

He had to admit that he had a better opinion on Lydia Branwell now. He hadn't imagined that Alec and her were this close, and wouldn't mind meeting her even though she must be scared of him after seeing him angry and glare at her that evening.

He lengthily kissed his shoulder. Alec had always bottled up everything, he wouldn't let go that easily and yet he had tried and did, for once and Magnus was very proud of him.

Now he couldn't wait for Izzy and Jace to learn about the contracts. They loved Alec enough to react like he did and was pretty sure they would be just as angry as he had been and still was.

And the worst was that Alec didn't seem to hate his parents or to resent them this much, to Magnus' dismay. He didn't want to force him to hate his parents but didn't want him to continue to respect them, it didn't make sense for him and made his blood boil.

They remained tightly entwined together and Magnus finally began to doze off, wrapped by Alec's smell and warmth. In his sleep he had released him, so as soon as he woke up, he moved closer. He just didn't expect to be hit in the stomach when Alec turned around and let out a groan of pain.

“Sorry,” Alec immediately apologized before stroking the area in pain to soothe the pain away. ''You managed to sleep at least?''

''You think I can sleep on such a bed?''

''It's still a bed.''

Magnus hugged him and slipped a leg between his. ''It still hurts, give me a magic kiss.''

Alec snorted. ‘'You're a little big for that, don't you think? You're twenty-nine you know, time to behave,'' he teased, but it didn't prevent him to go down and kiss the painful area on Magnus' stomach. ''Here we go, a magic kiss,'' he said against his belly before resting his head back on his cushion.

‘'My mouth is in pain too,’’ Magnus added before kissing him and sticking the rest of his body against his.

Alec had noticed the state he was in and embraced him before sliding his hand toward his lower-abdomen in order to touch him through his underwear. A thrill of pleasure crossed his crotch, Magnus breathed out and kissed him more passionately.

''Seems like you’re in pain too,’’ he whispered against his neck before touching him the same way.

Now, Alec no longer protested against the bites in the neck, so he could leave as many as he wanted from now on. And that was what he did by biting, sucking and licking as much skin as possible in his neck and underneath.

Probably due to their break-up and what had followed, Alec happened to be quite responsive and eager to deepen what they were currently doing. And Magnus sincerely doubted that stroking him was enough.

‘'Do you want a magic kiss?’’ he asked while squeezing him harder.

Alec couldn't answer as he was busy to kiss his shoulder and collarbone so he replied enthusiastically with his hips. Magnus smiled, made him roll on his back and crushed him with his weight, making the bed creak. He took his time before giving him head and relieved his throbbing lower abdomen with rolls against his hips. Alec breathed in when he kissed and bit his torso while going down until he reached his navel.

His mouth went to the elastic of his underwear, and Alec held his breath when he licked the space between his navel and the said underwear, then he lengthily breathed out when Magnus grazed his hip with his teeth.

''You don’t wriggle, more comfortable in the dark, aren’t you?’’ he hoarsly said.

''Or I really want my magic kiss,’’ Alec murmured, breathing faster.

Maybe he would let go even in bed from now on and as soon as it crossed his mind, Magnus got really excited.

He muffled his laughter against his belly and nibbled his manhood through the fabric, taking his time and a malicious delight by torturing him while touching him as he currently did. He bit the inside of his thighs in several places and slid his fingers inside the underwear at the legs level before delicately gnawing him which made Alec breath heavily and groan.

‘'If you hurry, I could give you a magic kiss there too,’’ he growled while clinging to his hair.

Magnus’ teeth sank a little more into his flesh and his hands went on his thighs to pull his underwear. He didn't expect to hear these words in Alec's mouth who was bolder. His mouth went over his naked manhood and felt Alec's body stiffened and shivered between his lips and fingers. He began to move his hips upwards while Magnus' fingers dug into his skin and his mouth entirely wrapped around his wood, and sucked him off until he came.

He kissed his thigh after swallowing and rested his forehead against his hip bone, making Alec uneasy who immediately tried to free himself from his grip but Magnus were still holding him firmly.

Now it was his turn.

''So...can I have my magic kiss now?'' he calmly asked against his hip.

But Alec didn't answer and didn't move either. With a frown, Magnus looked up and let out a frustrated groan. He was falling asleep.

 _Don't do that to me,_ Magnus begged inwardly. But it was already too late and he was hard as hell, he had to relieve himself as he could, it wouldn't be the first time anyway. He straightened up and lay down next to him, wrapping his arm around his waist before kissing his shoulder.

Only Alec could frustrate him this much, he noted with a slight smile.

Luckily he had stayed in the same city, even though he lived far from the center. It had facilitated their reunion which had been better than expected. They could now start on better basis, healthier and stronger than before.

He was free now, released from his commitments based on blackmail and mental violence. Alec wouldn't have to suffer now, Magnus would watch over his happiness which was in his hands. It had always been this way, from the beginning actually.

Far from Robert and his offensive remarks, Alec could only assert himself and have more confidence. Nothing would stop him from being entirely himself and loving himself, he just needed a little help and time but he would succeed. All these years he had endured his father and his bullying without flinching and blindly obeying him for his siblings. They had been Alec's strength, he had developed a mental strength which compelled admiration. Alec was strong, Magnus had no doubt about it and about him, he just had to make sure that he developed his full potential.

He squeezed him harder against him and lengthily kissed his cheek. Now, Alec was entirely and definitely his.

''It's not your fault,'' he whispered against his ear before squeezing him harder against him.

**

Chairman Meow wasn't happy and was waiting for him in the entrance when he came back. He was greeted with a plaintive meowing and smiled when he thought back about Alec's laugh when he had told him that Simon had made his the tabby cat obese.

Magnus didn't starve him but feed him less to make him lose weight and it didn't seem to please the tabby cat who had enjoyed his time during his absence.

Waking up had been difficult this morning, especially because of Alec's neighbor Honey who called the latter Sweetheart and who had wanted to give him his cookies which weren't even that delicious.

_Sweetheart._

He huffed while going in his kitchen to feed his needy cat who was still meowing. If only Alec could also be this needy, he thought. It had been slightly awkward this morning, not because of what had happened the night before, but because Alec had just been awkward as usual once he had realized that he was naked.

Nothing new, but he was definitely more comfortable in the dark and still owed him a magic kiss.

He filled the bowl with water and laid it on the floor, Chairman Meow who was impatiently waiting for his cat food narrowed his eyes in a please way. He was a little glutton, but a cute one. Magnus snorted when he saw him throw himself on his food with his big belly. He wasn't as graceful as before.

He had a lot of things to do and the first thing he did before calling Max, Ragnor and Catarina was to check where Alec was working, just to be sure that everything was fine. He didn't find much tough as FancyB was very recent. And understaffing, as Alec had told him with his tired look which greatly worried Magnus who wanted to take him away from his shabby place and his bed that wasn't one, but Alec wasn't ready to move in with him, he was scared that their lifestyles would be too incompatible. Which was absurd, Magnus wasn't difficult to bear and adapted easily and quickly. If Alec wanted space and alone time, he would have what he wanted.

Maybe he was scared to suffocate. He was used to live alone and had never stayed over more than three days. Not only Magnus had to tame him again but he also had to lure him and make him stay in his apartment -which would be a long and difficult process- even if he was rather optimistic.

He turned his computer off and took his phone to call Max to tell him everything was okay and to know how Izzy and Jace were doing, besides asking him if he remembered all the books Alec had owned. This hunt already looked complicated and tedious, but he already knew that Ragnor would accept to help him as he was no longer teaching classes and was probably and already bored. He sent him a quick message letting him know about this new quest and informed him at the same time that Alec and him were together again, then finally called Max.

 

He had fallen asleep in his couch and didn't go to Ragnor's house as planned to start the books hunt thanks to the valuable information Max had given him. His friend hadn't commented on Alec and him but had seemed a little relieved before inquiring about him and his father, just as Catarina, as if they had never broken up.

Magnus hadn't once mentioned the contracts that had split them. He hadn't dared, not knowing if he could reveal such a thing. Max still hadn't told Izzy and Jace but told them where he was living. He had finally spat it out by dint of being harassed, which relieved Magnus to not have been the one who got harassed by the troublesome siblings.

He got a bad feeling concerning his date with Alexander scheduled tonight. Izzy and Jace were very impulsive, so they probably had reacted to finally get the answers to their questions.

He straightened up and stretched, which earned him the displeased glance of Chairman Meow, comfortably settled on his stomach, who jumped to the floor with heaviness and without any grace that made Magnus burst out laughing. He then grabbed his phone on the coffee table and noticed that Izzy had sent him several messages, it was when he wanted to read them that she called him.

He really had a bad feeling about his date tonight.

''Hello ?''

He didn't expect to hear Jace's voice. ''Hi Magnus, it's Jace. Alec is ours tonight so back off.''

The aggressiveness and possessiveness in his tone made him narrow his eyes and grumble. So no date, which meant that they would soon know everything. He opened his mouth to ask him about Alec but Jace abruptly hung up.

He swore and called back.

''Yeah,'' said Izzy as soon as she picked up with an annoyed tone;. ''Sorry he's a dumbass but you're already aware of that, don't you?'' she snorted.

''Yeah, can you let me speak to Alec ?''

''I'll put him on,'' she softly agreed.

They were already at his place then, before wondering how they had reacted when they had seen where he was living. He heard her talk to Alec and smiled when he heard his voice.

''Yeah?''

A very tense yeah. He hoped that he would tell them everything and not keep quiet about certain details to spare them. It was an opportunity to speak openly and share the suffering they had in common.

''So no rendezvous between lovers tonight? '' he said in an amused voice.

''No.''

''What about tomorrow then?''

''Let's do that.''

''You look a little tense.''

''I am.''

Magnus chuckled, he could easily imagined him looking like a robot under the pressure of the revelations he had to make.

''You'll tell them everything I hope, and don't be afraid to influence them or to be responsible for anything...they are big enough,'' he seriously added.

''Hmm.''

''How was your day ?'' he asked while going into the kitchen to make some tea.

''Normal...what about yours?''

He then clearly heard Jace's protests given that their conversation delayed the fateful moment. Dissatisfied, he pursed his lips and asked Alec to let him speak to Jace. He had things to say to him.

''It's okay we won't steal Alec from you, we'll just have a decent and meaningful conversation,'' complained Jace.

"Why did you tell Alec that I was going to find someone else?" he aggressively asked, thinking that Alec could hypothetically have done that because of his words.

Jace made a noise of protest. ''No matter what, he would have never found someone else. Alec is a bit like a faithful dog, he wouldn't have gone elsewhere looking for someone else,'' he insisted.

''He's not a dog.''

He almost could hear him roll his golden eyes. ''Well, it's true, right? Catarina and Clary were ready to find you someone else...''

''And you dumbly told him what they said,'' he coldly stated.

''It was to make him react!'' sighed Jace.

Magnus insulted him and rolled his eyes when he heard Izzy's voice, which meant that she had taken back her phone.

''Magnus says you're an asshole Jace,'' she snorted.

''Stop it with the phone,'' he complained. ''Don't wear him out,'' he murmured.

''Yeah I know he looks like a zombie, I'm sure you're responsible for his state,'' she snorted.

''He's already tired.''

''Yeah, whatever, we'll eat outside, talk and bring him back and let him sleep...''

''You have a lot of things to talk about.''

''Yes, I know,'' she said.

''Text me when you'll know everything,'' he hastened to add before hanging up.

She hummed and suddenly hung up. Doubtful, Magnus stared at his phone with pursed lips. He knew that they were in a hurry and had a lot to do but it was not a reason to be so rude. Chairman Meow meowed and he looked at his cat waddling towards him with his big belly. He sighed and bent down to take him in his arms.

He sincerely hoped that Izzy and Jace would be as scandalized as he was and that they wouldn't blame their brother for what he had thought would be good for them, secretly during all these years. Six years to bear all of this, it had been long and hellish, and the worst was that Alec had been ready to continue to endure everything.

He heaved a sigh, feeling his mind bogged down in thoughts that made him angry and made his hatred for Alec's parents worsen. He had to stop dwelling on things and especially that. It was better to move forward and stop thinking about what had made Alec suffer, and him at the same time when he learned about his secret.

But he wouldn't forget. It was impossible to do as if nothing happened.

Chairman Meow began to purr in his arms and he stroked his chin before kissing him between his ears. He had a lot to do if he wanted to find Alec's books, it was better to search for them right away.

Max had just sent him an email a more complete list than what he had told him earlier on the phone. He hastened to look at it and winced when he saw that there were more old rare books that Alec had collected than expected. He hastened to send the list to Ragnor to increase their chances of success to find them all, it didn't matter if they weren't exactly the same but the ideal would be to find them all.

At the end of the day, Magnus had bought a shelf that he had made deliver to Ragnor's place in order to not arouse any suspicion, and had spent the equivalent of two rents in a book which was the first edition and that he had found thanks to Ragnor who had sent him the link.

Unfortunately everything wasn't on the internet. He had to write down numbers and addresses from antique shops or flea markets to find out if they had recently been provided with books from a certain person answering such a description.

He hoped that they would remember Robert Lightwood but he was afraid that they wouldn't.

''Chairman Meow,'' he sighed when his cat climbed on the table to obstruct his view and prevent him from watching his computer screen.

 _Pet me,_ said his narrowed eyes when he lay down on the keyboard and Magnus could see that his belly pressed some keys that wrote things without any sense.

It was time to stop, it was late anyway. He still hadn't received any messages from Izzy which meant that they were still talking and for a very long time already. He had no reason to be worried but it didn't prevent him to be so.

He quickly stroked the tabby cat and got up to stretch and prepare dinner. And to say that he could have spent a nice evening with Alec... He sighed and walked slowly toward the kitchen.

His phone finally rang, when his mouth was full, in front a romantic movie, while Chairman Meow gluttonously looked at his plate of spaghetti. He grunted and grabbed his phone on the coffee table, stuck under his calf and frowned when he saw Simon's name on his screen.

''Chairman Meow is still fat,'' he said, the mouth full.

''He's cute like this,'' said Izzy with a chuckle.

He straightened up and removed his legs from the coffee table.

''I never thought that Alec was hiding this kind of thing all this time,'' she murmured. ''What did you feel when you learned about everything?''

Magnus took a deep breath. ''Looking back I'd say that I wasn't that surprised but I couldn't believe it. I was angry, I still am with hatred towards your parents and it hurt... It worsened when Alec had explained all the little details.''

''Lucky you, we didn't get the details, thankfully mom was here,'' she sarcastically said.

''Thankfully ?'' Magnus asked with a wide eyes. ''You know that she knew everything and did nothing for Alec ?''

''I know and I didn't mean that for that, she told me and Jace what Alec kept for himself, you know, the lovely things Robert had told him.''

''Ah.''

''But she didn't say that for Alec, but for herself.''

''I'm not even surprised,'' he murmured.

"She used what Robert did to her advantage, to have us on her side for her divorce, we just wanted explanations and she did but just because it could benefit her... Can you believe that ?"

Magnus sighed. ''Your parents are exactly the same.''

"And she never did anything!" got angry Izzy. "Not even when Alec was harassed with this bloody monitoring."

''I know,'' he dryly said. ''But Alec thinks that she helped him and that it thanks to her that he's free.''

She scoffed. ''She did everything for her, he was just a test to see if she could free herself too, that's all.''

''Max doesn't really have the choice, he'll have to live with one of them.''

''She's better that Robert, for him.''

''And for Jace and you ?''

''Oh Jace told Robert to shove a cactus in his behind so it's kind of clear, but it didn't mean than he'll choose her side. I won't either. She didn't believe me when I told her that Robert was cheating on her, years ago, and almost said that I was lying,'' she murmured. ''And now, she's depressive because of him, if she had listened to me maybe she wouldn't be this way.''

''I don't know her but I don't think so Izzy.''

She cleared her throat. ''Anyway, if I'm calling you with Simon's phone that's because Jace and me we're also disinherited.''

''Congratulations.''

''Thank you,'' she cheerfully said. ''The sad thing is that I had to left my shoes, the velvet red ones with the golden sole,'' she painfully murmured which made gasp Magnus. ''We left everything behind and the thing is that Robert didn't seem willing to disinherit us... Alec had more or less warned us that Robert would remember that we existed. He told him some things about me or Jace or about him to Jace and me that kind of suggested that he had tried to create a rivalry between us to get his... well... there was no real affection, but let's say to have his attention.''

Magnus turned his TV off. ''Did it work ?''

''What?''

''Robert's plan.''

Izzy didn't answer right away. ''Yeah it worked...,'' she admitted. ''And I feel so ashamed of myself, I didn't know that Alec did that because of me, Jace and Max...I didn't see anything whereas Max had guessed that something was off. I've always knew that Alec liked men and Jace but I dumbly thought that I just had to wait for him to come to me and talk about it but he never did and did as as if he wasn't gay. He wasn't like this before, I mean before the first contract you know, and I had noticed this change but...I selfishly thought that if he had wanted to be the heir then he had to assume. It's like I didn't want to see what was happening and when I did, it was just before you got together."

Magnus stared at the black screen of the TV. ''You wanted to inherit Idris ?''

''Alec didn't want to and Jace couldn't...I did as if it didn't matter afterwards.''

''What about Jace ?''

''Jace is more pure than you think and honestly I don't know, maybe he had also been jealous of that poisonous attention that Alec was so lucky to receive but we never talked about it and I never told him anything. "

''Do you really think that Alec is the favorite ?'' he asked before adding _was._

''Yes,'' she immediately answered. ''I don't know if Alec told you but mom told us that Robert had told him that we were a hundred times better than him, it's completely wrong, he spat that out of spite at soon as Alec had told him to go and fuck himself. Alec has always been serious, always doing his best and has never let his emotions influence his judgment. Robert has always found that it was the quality of a good business man whereas Alec is awkwardly awkward with his feelings and prefers to not show them at all," she said which made Magnus smile. ''And then he's the eldest, the first child Robert had to look after, then, there was me and I wasn't treated like a princess for a long time when he saw that I was irrelevant...I think he had big plans for Alec, and for a man like Robert, Alec's homosexuality wasn't part of the path he had planned for him.''

''He did everything to keep control.''

''And the worst thing is that Alec let himself be manipulated.''

"It's not his fault," Magnus said.

"No, it's Jace's and mine for letting him believe that we cared a lot about money."

''You'll manage on your own?''

''Jace is with Clary at her mother's place and I'm with Simon, so for now yes.''

''What about your project?''

''Bank.''

''I can help you too if you want.''

She snorted. ''Really ? You don't despise me after all these revelations?" she asked in a light tone as if his answer didn't matter, whereas Magnus perfectly knew that it mattered to her.

''Since when do you care about what I think?'' he teased.

''Your Alec's boyfriend,'' she seriously replied and almost shyly.

''And your friend,'' he added. ''Jealousy is pretty common between siblings, Rivalry too, but I sincerely believe that compared to the love you have towards Alec, it was pointless. I can tell that you care for Alec.''

''Of course I care,'' she protested.

Magnus' grin widened. ''Did you tell Simon ?''

''About Alec ? Yes, I had to explain why I was almost naked and barefoot when I came back, why ?''

''And Jace told Clary ?''

''If he's currently at Jocelyne's apartment with Clary it meant that he had to explain why he no longer has the means to pay the rent, why ?''

''I still haven't said anything to Catarina and Ragnor,'' he admitted.

''You can.''

Right, and he knew that Ragnor was curious to know why Alec had been disinherited from everything overnight.

''How did Simon react? ''

"He had the reaction I expected and he's glad that I'm disinherited as well."

Magus snorted.

''This evening was full of emotions, I'm going to bed... Magnus, you'll take care of Alec, right? You'll put him back together? "

''I'll do my best,'' he murmured. ''He just has to let me care for him and I'll do wonders.''

''Do you regret your breakup?''

He blinked, surprised by her question. ''Hmm, I felt guilty at first but only because I felt like i leaved him behind, which I did, but...it had to happen, it made him react and act for his own good. And I don't know if it would have change anything in other circumstances, but we had to break up to better get back together. This relationship with Alec had started badly, it could only end badly. Now it's different, it's going to be different, and it will be better, much better.''

''It had to happen,'' repeated Izzy.

''We're made for each other even if I'm the only one who believes that.''

''I do too,'' she hastened to add. ''If you do, Alec will also believe that you were fated to be together.''

Magnus smiled. ''Yeah.''

''Good night,'' she softly said.

''Good night,'' he murmured before hanging up.

He then stayed in his couch, lost in thought. Robert had definitely lost and it would worsened once he would be divorced and wouldn't have custody of Max. Deep inside, Magnus felt happy with an unhealthy satisfaction that he had reaped what he had sown. At the very moment Robert had hurt Alec, their family had cracked and already wasn't holding that much together, if not to Alec, the pillar that Maryse had shaken for her own interest. Magnus had to admit that her intervention had helped, even though her reasons weren't praiseworthy.

At the moment he had ejected Alec, Robert had condemned himself. The pillar had broken and everything had collapsed. Magnus was surprised that he hadn't planned anything, maybe he had hoped for another reaction from Izzy and Jace. He had, after all, done everything to feed a rivalry between them, and obviously it didn't work, they loved each other too much for that, and fortunately for them.

Magnus seriously doubted that Alec knew, with his non-existent self-esteem, that he had been important for his family. Probably not. Robert had abused him and blackmailed him to keep him by his side as the perfect heir he was, by exploiting his weaknesses and worsening his unconfidence. Maryse, with her indifference and illness, had sought a way to escape from her unhappy marriage and had urged him to do the same. Izzy had taken what was given to her, knowing that she would never have the importance she wanted in her father's eyes, Alec had been the intermediary between what she wanted and her current position. As for Jace who was part of the family without being really accepted, Alec had also been for him the intermediary between Robert and him. Max was the only one who had the healthiest relation with Alec, relying on his big brother and went to spend the weekends at his place to escape from the empty mansion and his parents' venomous relationship.

In one way or another, Alec had been the link, a way, an escape, strangely keeping the family together. It had to stop. Alec wasn't an object, not for them and nor for Magnus who suddenly wanted to have him all for himself in order to prevent him to suffer anymore. Himself had made him suffer but it was for his own good and this pain had a meaning.

His anger had now subsided a little and he was currently calmer but still worried. He always got worried about Alec and would continue to be so as long as he lived in his shabby apartment sweating blood for his job. He grabbed his phone to ask him if he had enough money to live before remembering that he didn't have a phone, he could send him an email but didn't know if he had a computer and admitting that he didn't, would never dare to check his mailbox at work.

Anyway he intended to see him the day after in the evening for their date. He would ask about his money at that time.

His phone in hand, he finally noticed Simon's message and thought that it was Izzy who had sent it but not this time, Simon had written that if he knew everything it was not only because Izzy had come back half naked and was bare-footed but mainly because she had been crying.

Magnus reread his message several times before going to bed. She had to live a pretty emotional night where she had learned that her older brother had been manipulated for her own good, that she had no importance in her father's eyes, that her brother was was like this because of all the verbal abuse he had endured during all these years, that as soon as he had finally wanted to breathe, he had been disowned despite all his good and loyal services, and that she would soon be forgotten as well because she had preferred to support her big brother.

Magnus was proud of her and proud of Jace, they wouldn't have to suffer anymore this way. He sincerely hoped that Max wouldn't either with this tumultuous divorce. If needed, he was ready to welcome all of them in his apartment, noting that Alec was once more the link but not only, he was more than that and in his eyes Jace, Izzy and Max had much more value. Robert was the only one who hadn't noticed his children's value otherwise why would they have been surrounded by people who loved them ?

Inwardly, Magnus was so happy to have been the first person to have noticed Alec, and if it hadn't been at the first sight to have approached him first. He had the impression that he had found a rare and precious gem that he had to polish to make it shine brightly. It would probably be long but he could already tell that even rough the gem was gorgeous.

Alec just needed to be loved endlessly in order to shine brightly.

*

Before going to work, Magnus quickly called several shops and sent many emails for Alec's books. He had found three of them: old and rare, of which the price had to put off some people. He found it quite funny to discover Alec's tastes through this books hunt.

He seemed to read absolutely everything, and Magnus knew that value was of little importance and that he would perfectly be happy to just find the books he had loved to read so much, except that Magnus wanted to make him extremely happy and had committed himself to find everything.

While informing Ragnor of his last discoveries, he took the opportunity to tell him everything. He did the same with Catarina when she called him for his next friendly meal where Alec was more than welcome. They seemed dumbfounded and were even more surprised when he told them that Izzy and Jace were also disinherited.

''I'm glad for them,'' had said Ragnor. ''They'll perfectly manage on their own.''

Catarina had remained quiet before taking a deep breath. "I hope they'll be happier now... they were all suffering, even though Izzy and Jace could hide it better."

''Alec also hid it quite well.''

''Even you, you had noticed that there was something deeper that you couldn't explain,'' she had murmured. ''Even I, I had noticed...now everything will get better, isn't it ?''

''We'll do our best,'' had said Magnus with confidence. ''And if you want to get in touch with Izzy and Jace, you'll have to contact first Simon and Clary, they're like Alec, they've lost everything.''

''I'm proud of them... and good luck for your books hunt !''

Magnus had grumbled a thank you and had hung up. Now everyone knew how awful was Robert Lightwood.

*

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Alec exploring his apartment, with Chairman Meow huddled in his arms, happy to be pet by Alec who wasn't stingy with his strokes. He stared at the painting that Magnus had hung some time ago in his living room.

''Clary's mother painted it, I ordered it,'' Magnus said by going into the kitchen with their grocery bags.

He nodded and continued his exploration. Magnus gave him a satisfied look and went into the kitchen to prepare their dinner. He had finally managed to pull him out from his apartment and fortunately for him, Alec had been cooperative, even if he had to lure him with cookies and Chairman Meow who seemed happy to see him again.

''Do you need help ?'' politely asked Alec while moving closer.

''No, go have fun and play with Chairman Meow, he needs to do some sport,'' he said while opening the fridge.

Alec kept the tabby cat in his arms and disappeared from his sight. For a moment Magnus wondered if he had tidied up his things in his bedroom and knew that it wouldn't disturb Alec if he hadn't. He then took the rest of his spaghetti, and just had to add pasta and a sauce.

He really had to meet Lydia Branwell, he was seriously thinking about contacting her via social media but was afraid of scaring her or making her panic. It was better that Alec introduced them formally to make her more comfortable given the circumstances.

She had been here for Alec when he had nothing left and hadn't hesitated to lend him money. She was kind and seemed to be a very good friend, and Alec didn't have a lot of friends so...he had to meet her. He still didn't know what he could tell her, maybe thank her for everything she had done, but it was meaningless, she had done it out of kindness, without a second thought.

And yet, he wanted to meet her to get to know her.

During the meal, Alec wasn't very talkative, it still wasn't natural for him to speak spontaneously about his evening with his siblings. But wasn't reluctant to talk about it, perfectly knowing that it was for his interest. Officially Magnus had still not forgiven him whereas unofficially it had been the case since they had met again.

Apparently, Maryse could easily win her divorce and hands down. Magnus wasn't surprised, she looked like a victim and could have seemed this way for him if he didn't know that she had manipulated her children so that they could choose her in order to finally have the advantage over her future ex-husband.

From what Alec told him, she was still waiting for Jace and Izzy to choose a side and didn't seem to expect any choice from Alec. As if he didn't matter. And yet, Magnus knew that she would get what she wanted as until now she got everything she wanted as planned. he was relieved that Alec was spared in this family war even if it meant being definitely excluded.

He still couldn't quite hate Maryse Lightwood, probably because he had never met her. But he had the impression that despite the situation, she didn't intend to deny her children.

He couldn't really understand her and it confused him a lot.

Throughout the meal, Chairman Meow begged them with his eyes for food and even when they were in the bathroom ready to go to bed. Magnus sighed and glared at his cat.

''No,'' he firmly said. ''I know that Simon gave you everything you wanted but you really took poor eating habits my dear Chairman Meow, you're fat. So no.''

Alec slightly smiled while putting toothpaste on his toothbrush, before peering at him as if he had something very important to say.

''Magnus?''

''Hmm?'' was all he could utter as he was brushing teeth.

He could see through the mirror that he was hesitating and had this expression whenever something was troubling him, with this eternal frown.

''Someone cheated on you?'' he suddenly asked.

Magnus immediately stopped brushing his teeth and stared at him. How did he know ? He didn't recall talking about his past relationships with him, at least not this disastrous one. He suddenly wondered whether Catarina had told him or not but it was impossible.

He leaned over to spit into the sink. ''It happened.''

''Why ?''

Magnus sadly smiled upon hearing this naive question. _Why ? Simply because he hadn't been enough._ He had done his best and had invested himself in this relationship with this woman who had broken his heart. It had been as sudden as violent and had left him traumatized at some point, urging him to seek comfort here and there and he no longer had been looking for serious relationships until Alec bewitched him with his dark beauty, his discretion and that something than he still couldn't explain. Alec had slowly succeeded to involuntarily impose himself with his difference and his indifference toward what surrounded him.

''Is that surprising to you that someone cheated on me? '' asked Magnus with a sad smile. ''These things happen and maybe I was also to blame...but it was long ago... Who told you?''

''Jace.''

He frowned. _Jace ? How did he know ?_ He surely had heard something.

''Why?'' Magnus asked with a smirk. ''Are you thinking about cheating on me?''

''No,'' Alec immediately retorted with a frown.

Magnus softly kissed his temple and went out from the bathroom, hearing his phone buzzing. It was a miracle that he could have heard it. His phone was on the couch and Chairman Meow was comfortably lying on it.

Magnus narrowed his eyes and pushed the tabby cat who hissed. He had to call back Catarina.

''Hey.''

''Finally,'' she sighed.

''Alec's here,'' he said to justify himself.

''Does he have a phone now ? Give me his number then, and Izzy lives now with Clary and Jace, I don't what happened but it's not very better between Simon and her.''

''What ? She was with him last night,'' he muttered while going into his bedroom and sat on his bed.

''Not today and they had a fight about this girl again...so how is it going with Alec ?''

''Great, I finally managed to take him home... if you could see where he's living...but he seems totally fine with it, and I don't think it'll make him move in faster with me.''

''What did you expect ?'' she snorted. ''Alec is doing well on his own, he's stronger than he seems to be.''

''Yeah, standing Robert all these years has strengthened him in a way. They're all strong,'' he fondly murmured. ''If you knew how much I'm relieved that it has ended and that this frustrating situation is resolved. I've always knew that something was wrong and that it kept Alec from me...now he's all mine, I mean he no longer can distant himself for any reason.''

He smiled when Alec stealthily came in the room to grab a t-shirt and disappeared as quickly as he came to leave him some privacy.

Catarina hummed. ''All yours uh ? Well, I really hope that now everything will turn well for you and him and that he''ll have more self-esteem from now on.''

''Don't worry, he's now slightly more talkative but not as much as Chairman Meow.''

''Send me a picture, he's so cute now.''

''Even when he wasn't chubby he was cute.''

''Send me pictures and have fun with your boyfriend.''

''Oh, I will,'' Magnus said with huge grin. ''Good night.''

And he hung up before going towards Alec in the living room. He was comfortably seated in the couch and by his posture curled up on himself and head down, he could tell that he was totally immersed into his book. With a small grin, he moved closer and kissed his nape, before sitting next to him.

Alec glanced up,

''Catarina still hold one of her friendly meal, she asked me for your number... she certainly had and already sent you a text to invite you,'' he said while stroking Chairman Meow's head who was purring between Alec's crossed legs.

Alec tensed up and got worried. Magnus' hand immediately moved to stroke his back in a soothing gesture.

''Nobody hates you, why would they?''

''Because I hurt you.''

He did hurt him but now it didn't matter, they had to let bygones be bygones.

''It's between you and me,'' he sighed. ''Besides, you have extenuating circumstances since Robert showed up at the airport...''

Actually since Robert was his father.

''When is her friendly meal? ''

''Tuesday.''

''I can't, I'll be very busy next week,'' Alec declared while glancing back at his book.

Magnus frowned. ''All the week? Then, you won't come to my party?''

''I don't think so.''

Magnus stared at him grimly. ''Does that mean we won't be able to see each other either?''

''I don't know,'' Alec said with a frown.

Magnus sighed, he didn't seem eager to go out again to socialize, busy or not. If he didn't want to or couldn't come, then he had to have, at least, the keys of his apartment. He got up to get the the spare keys that Alec had given back to him. He quickly came back, slumped back into the couch and put them in Alec's book, the one he had bought for him in Saint Lucia. Chairman Meow's paw fell on them, and he narrowed his eyes while touching them as if he was wondering whether they would make a toy worthy of the name or not. Magnus took off his paw from them and stared at Alec.

''Don't you dare put them in my mailbox again,'' he said in a light tone. ''And come when you want, even if you just want to sleep in a real bed, but I would prefer that you come for me. ''

''And Chairman Meow,'' Alec said before slightly smiling and taking them.

''Whatever,'' Magnus said, leaning to kiss him.

They stayed on the couch a few moments, at least until Alec finished his book and they went to bed. Magnus looked with amusement at Alec when he lay down next to him in the bed.

''It's a real bed,'' he stated with a grin.

So much more comfortable and bigger and better than his.

Alec gave him a sullen look but he could see that he agreed with his way of curling up into the sheets. Magnus fondly looked at him get comfortable and once satisfied, turned to turn off his bedside lamp.

''Thank you for still loving me,'' Alec blurted out awkwardly.

Magnus froze and slowly turned to him with a frown whereas Alec was staring at the ceiling with a determined look, clearly embarrassed.

He snorted. ''You're welcome,'' he said, still staring at him, and decided to move closer.

Leaning on an elbow, he kissed him with a bright smile, turning his attention away from the ceiling. It was a big kiss, simple and playful, then there many others on his whole face.

''So much love,'' he sarcastically said. ''It looks like you forgot that it's free and that you don't have to be grateful,'' he murmured before kissing his nose.

Alec stared at him and softly kissed his chin with a gleam in his eyes that Magnus couldn't really identify. He was certainly lost in his nonsensical thoughts. He rolled half on him and nestled his head in his neck before pressing his lips against his jugular, Alec's heart was madly pounding and he couldn't help smiling against his skin, making his own heart beat faster.

He could feel that he was taking a deep breath and he wondered with worry if he wasn't crushing him with his weight. Probably.

Alec cleared his throat. ''Even if I don't look like I do, I love you...and a lot,'' he hastened to say.

That explained the speed of his heart beats and Magnus' one who stopped kissing his neck and jaw. He felt an unusual warmth spreading over his cheeks and he slowly breathed out. His hands under Alec's t-shirt stopped caressing him, he wasn't doing anything now and was barely breathing.

He straightened up in order to look into his eyes, feeling more embarrassed than ever but never had he been so happy.

''I know you do but thanks for saying it, it's very nice to hear it,'' he said with a genuine smile which made Alec lengthily stare at his face.

''You're welcome.''

Magnus' smile widened, his heart was still madly pounding against his torso despite his impassive face, and he kissed his lips tenderly. ''Just in case you're almost forgiven.''

''There's some improvement? ''

''You can't even imagine how much.''

They stared lengthily at each other and Alec suddenly broke the magic of the moment and its romanticism with his 'I owe you a magic kiss'.

Magnus blinked and frowned. ''Alexander,'' he said. ''You could have chosen another moment for that.''

''Sorry,'' he apologized while removing his hands from Magnus' back who felt naked now.

''I didn't say no,'' Magnus hastened to say with a frown. ''I want my magic kiss.''

Alec put back his hands on him with a big and shy smile and Magnus rolled onto his back, pulling him into him, while embracing his jawline and sliding his hands into his pants to fondle his buttocks and his thighs, widely smiling.

But he stopped teasing him when he noticed that it made him lose focus. Surrounding his face with his hands and arms to support his weight, Alec only used his mouth. He gently, slowly and affectionately kissed him, with that little smile that showed that he was teasing him. His hands still on his bottom, Magnus did his best to remain calm and replied lazily to his kisses, his yellow-green eyes staring at him. He slowly breathed out when Alec's body weighed a little more on his and when his mouth went down along his jaw and into his neck still with gentle kisses more and more biting. He couldn't restrain an upward movement of the hips to relieve the tingling sensation that crossed his lower abdomen.

Alec's lips closed into his neck and Magnus' hands sank a little more into his flesh.And it suddenly stopped, the delicious ticklish sensation was gone.

''It is true that hickeys are a high-school thing?'' Alec suddenly asked after looking up.

Magnus blinked and narrowed his eyes. ''What? Who said that?'' he huffed and he rolled his eyes. ''I don't care, I like them.''

He particularly loved to do them on Alec's pale skin, the sensation, and the thrills it made him feel.

''I noticed,'' Alec murmured against his neck before grabbing a piece of skin between his teeth on which he ran his tongue and sucked between his lips several times before resuming lower.

A shiver of pleasure ran down his spine, Magnus slowly breathed out and moved his hips upwards, he felt Alec's smile against his skin and pressed his hands harder against his backside.

Alec continued to kiss him as he more and more went lower and nibbled some places, leaving kiss marks to Magnus' delight, who stared at him with intensity. Alec did everything to avoid looking into his eyes and keep his eyes focused on his body. He wouldn't complain anyway.

He reached his navel and Magnus held back his breath as he felt his teeth on his skin. He was hard, panting and not sure that his body would be able to bear the touch of his mouth on his manhood. It might be the final blow, and he would seem lame for coming too quickly.

Alec stopped and looked at him with worry whereas Magnus, who had stiffened, bit his lips.

''You look nervous,'' he noticed, surprised. ''I won't bite you,'' he tried to reassure him with a frown.

''I can stop if you want, '' he added, rising up on his arms and slightly straightening up.

''I'm not scared that you'll bite me,'' Magnus protested while grabbing his arm as Alec was ready to lay down next to him despite their state.

Alec didn't seem to understand. ''Why then? I can't promise that I will be as good as you but...''

Magnus sat, feeling embarrassed. ''I may be overwhelmed at the mere idea of having your mouth around my thing,'' he quickly said.

_Too overwhelmed actually._

Alec blinked, his lips curved into a smile and he snorted.

''Really ?''

''Really...I don't know about you but I want to do something else,'' he said before devouring him with kisses.

No magic kiss but something that would make their pleasure last longer.

''Like what ?'' Alec managed to ask despite his kisses.

''Something that needs hands and us being naked so undress and yes we're keeping the light on,'' he hastened to murmur against his lips.

Alec automatically put his hands on his pajama pants when Magnus tried to put them down.

''I prefer to give you a magic kiss,'' he murmured.

Magnus chuckled, this day had finally come, and Alec still needed to be tamed.

''I really have to tame you again,'' he stated with a tender smile.

*

When Magnus opened his eyes in the middle of the night, he suddenly remembered that Alec didn't know that Izzy and Jace were also disinherited. He had completely forgotten but didn't feel bad, otherwise Alec would have been unnecessary worried. He would tell him later or would ask Clary to lend her phone to Izzy or Jace to contact their brother who finally had a new phone. He pensively stroked the arm wrapped around his waist and went back to sleep.

Later, he felt something warm against his shoulder. Behind his closed eyelids he could guess that it was daylight and that Alec was awake. His body automatically moved to his like a magnet, he stuck his forehead against his shoulder in a low growl before dropping a long kiss against it, and he stayed nestle against him until he fell back asleep.

He felt the mattress sank next to him and Alec's body move closer to his, without touching him. Then, he felt the tips of his fingers brushed his hip. Magnus opened one eye, he felt sore and wanted to stay in bed all day.

''It's Sunday today, let's stay in bed all day,'' he suggested in a husky voice.

''It's already noon,'' Alec murmured, blinking and frowning.

''So what?''

Alec smiled. ''Yeah it doesn't matter for you,'' he said in an amused tone before turning on the belly and he lazily stretched, like a cat, and slid his arms under his pillow for more comfort.

Magnus got suddenly more awake. ''I didn't say to sleep,'' he said in a cheeky tone.

Alec didn't say anything and merely growled. Magnus sighed, sat up on one of his arm and poked his sides. No reaction either, he pinched his buttocks and didn't remove his hand. Alec glanced at him in a jaded way.

''You need more cookies,'' Magnus smirked.

Alec slightly smiled but turned his head. Magnus didn't intend to let him sleep. He kissed his shoulder, his neck and his back, and got carried away. He traced the contours of his tattoo in the back with his tongue and then went down along his spine with a trail of kisses until he reached the lower part of his back where he had two dimples. He lengthily kissed the space between them went up before sticking his body onto his.

Alec was motionless but glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. Magnus nibbled his favorite shoulder with the Moon and the Sun and remained on him, supported by his arms to not crush him, rubbing his hips against his buttocks. He soon felt Alec's hands against his thighs and hurried to kiss his neck.

He slipped a demanding hand under his belly that he sent down to his pajama pants waistband. He dropped a quick kiss on his neck and put his hand inside to touch his crotch. Alec stifled a groan in his pillow and lengthily inhaled when Magnus weighed upon him, nibbling his neck, shoulders and ears, and rubbing against him with his groin, pushing each time Alec a little further into the mattress.

Now, he weighed his whole body on him, put his second hand into his pants, making Alec growl a little louder, and while biting his shoulder increasingly harder to stifle his own groans, he managed to lower Alec's pants who flinched when Magnus sank his teeth deeper into his shoulder whereas his thrust movements became more intent and his hands squeezed him harder.

He thought he had bitten too hard when Alec stopped his thrusts movement into his hands and gently kissed his teeth and the very purplish marks on his shoulders and neck. He hadn't heard the door bell, obsessed with what he was doing, he had to admit that rubbing against him wasn't enough, he wanted more.

He then squeezed him tighter. ''Time to use a green condom,'' he managed to murmur while entirely lowering his pants.

''What about the person at the door?'' Alec whispered with a jerky breath.

Magnus didn't understand and mutter a _who's at the door ?_ against his ear between several kisses but he finally heard the bell ring in harmony with Chairman Meow's meowings. An infernal noise which interrupted them at such a crucial moment.

''Who the hell is that?'' he roared, exasperated.

Who dared to interrupt them ? He swore inwardly and remained on him for a long time, breathing heavily, still pressing his hips against his behind with less fervor in order to calm down. He reluctantly and finally rolled on the side, releasing Alec from his weight. He then patiently waited for his visible excitement to disappear, staring at the ceiling highly displeased, and waiting for his breathing to stabilize.

''Don't forget that you're naked,'' Alec murmured after more or less dressing up when he sat up.

Sitting on the bed, Magnus slowly turned to him with a smirk. ''I don't give a damn, he didn't have to ring at my door and interrupt us,'' he grumpily retorted.

And to say that they almost did it...

''Magnus,'' Alec firmly said.

He took a deep breath and got up, walked reluctantly into his closet and pulled on a red underwear while grumbling and cursing whoever had interrupted them. He was now in a bad mood and terribly frustrated. He opened the door of the bedroom and Chairman Meow jumped inside, brushing his ankles when he walked in.

''We'll continue afterwards,'' he said before closing the door behind him.

The bell was still ringing annoyingly and it pissed him off. Today was Sunday and all his friends knew that if they had to come they had to warn him beforehand, even Catarina and Ragnor knew that but it happened from time to time that they came unexpectedly, but it didn't seem to be any of them behind the door and he seriously doubted that it would be Izzy or Jace.

He was now in the entrance, arms crossed, staring at the closed door while wondering who it could be.

''What are you doing?'' Alec asked with a frown.

Magnus smirked. ''I contemplate this person's motivation who's waiting desperately for someone to open him.''

This person was very motivated and was still ringing with a troubling rhythm, knowing that someone was inside.

''Open this door, it's probably someone you know. Nobody would insist this much otherwise.''

''It's not someone I know that's for sure,'' Magnus muttered, narrowing his eyes. ''Swear to me that we'll carry on right after.''

''Open the door,'' sighed Alec. ''It's for you... Anyway I still owe you a magic kiss...if you're not nervous this time,'' he lightly said with a smile.

Magnus did his best to not smile but his lips curved in an amused grin. ''I'll never reach your level of nervousness, I still have wiggle room. ''

Before unlocking the door with a reluctant face, he had time to see Alec's state. He had bitten him too hard, his neck, his shoulders, and his chest were covered with dark purplish marks -a bloody purple-, with teeth marks that hadn't disappeared yet. Not to mention the scratches he had above his pajama bottom.

He opened the door and frowned when he saw a woman he had never seen before and yet she was strangely familiar and utterly shocked to see him in his red underwear. Her eyes stared at his neck where he knew that Alec had been affectionate and her eyes narrowed in a displeased way.

She looked a lot like Izzy or rather Izzy looked a lot like her and he could see that Alec also took after her

Maryse Lightwood was well-dressed and had a melancholic aura which made him think of a bird without wings.

''Mr Bane, you don't seem to know what clothes are.''

The bird still had a beak and seemed to hate him. Feeling attacked for no reason, Magnus replied in the same tone and more aggressively.

''Mrs Lightwood, consider yourself happy, I could have been naked,'' he coldly said and ready to blow her off. She had no reason to be here.

''I would be happier if you could let me see my son, he only can be here,'' said Maryse.

Even if Magnus haughtily stared at her, he didn't feel at ease and was almost hurt with the way she was looking at him as if was a nobody. He probably was nothing for her, for sure, and it made him feel bad. He suddenly felt a presence in his back and Alec's hand against his skin, in a comforting gesture, he shuddered and slid his around his wrist that he stroked with his fingertips.

Now he felt slightly better but didn't understand why the hell Maryse Lightwood was here to see Alec. However, he wasn't surprised that she knew where he was living.

He held her gaze filled with disgust and gently caressed Alec's wrist on his back.

''I already told you whoever you want but not him,'' Maryse suddenly whispered to her son as if he wasn't here and Magnus was smart enough to understand of whom she was talking about. She finally looked up to stare at him. ''He's not worth it,'' she added disdainfully.

Magnus' painfully squeezed Alec's wrist. It seemed that his boyfriend hadn't found it necessary to tell him that she didn't care at all about his sexual orientation and that himself was the only issue. He didn't really get why she had hidden their relationship in this case, she had protected Alec but what Magnus thought was only indifference towards him was just a strategy: revealing their relationship would have ruined everything and speed things up when she wasn't ready to divorce.

His face and stare hardened, he would now hate her as much as she hated him.

''Alexander is adult and smart enough to know what he wants,'' Magnus hissed. ''And the one who's not worth it can assure you that on a human level he has more value than you.''

''How can a gutter rat know the word value?'' she hissed back.

Magnus' eyes narrowed. She had dared to call him a gutter rat ?

''What are you doing here?"Alec hastened to ask a little too aggressively stepping forwards to interrupt them.

Magnus was now behind him, Alec had stepped forwards as if he was trying to protect him from his mother's disdain, like a knight in a shinning armor, which softened a little bit Magnus who couldn't help being happy that he defended him against his own mother.

Now, Alec was completely exposed to her eyes and Magnus knew it was a bad idea when he saw her eyes widened. Her gaze hardened and her red lips tightened. _What did you do to my son ?_ Could be read in her eyes but Magnus didn't look away and stared at her right in the eye.

''We have to talk.''

''You can talk here,'' Magnus hastened to say, fearing that Alec would leave to talk with her in private in order to not bother him.

''How did you know I was here?'' Alec asked with a frown.

''A family thing,'' Magnus dryly murmured, referring to the monitoring so close of the harassment Alec had known during a certain period.

Maryse came reluctantly in when she saw that her son didn't make any move and Magnus didn't prevent her to do so.

''You weren't at home, you could only be here or at Lydia's place,'' she simply answered. ''And you were not at her place obviously. ''

''He could have been at Jace or Izzy's,'' said Magnus who immediately grabbed Chairman Meow who had tried to escape in the corridor. And he suddenly remembered that it was impossible as they were now homeless. Maybe she was here to say everything that had happened.

Chairman Meow struggled between his arms and he hastened to release him in the living room while Alec was closing the door. He then stared at his cat who tried to hide under the couch, forgetting that he was now too fat to do so. He shook his head and took him in his arms before turning around and saw that Maryse Lightwood was glaring at him.

Magnus frowned.

''Mom I remind you that you are in someone's place, the very least is to behave and be polite, don't you think?'' Alec stated, displeased with her behavior but it didn't prevent Magnus and his so called mother-in-law to glare at each other.

''Tea or coffee?'' asked Magnus aggressively, deciding to be polite.

''Tea,'' she hissed.

Magnus rolled his eyes and went in the kitchen, followed closely by Alec who was wincing. He then released Chairman Meow and stooped to fill his bowl whereas Alec quietly waited behind him before kissing his shoulder when he stood up.

''Sorry,'' he lamely murmured.

He could be sorry but it didn't change anything. Maryse was here and Magnus definitely hated her and was mad at him for not telling him that she hated him even more for no reason. He slipped a hand behind his neck and crashed almost hardly their lips together.

''You don't have to be sorry for her,'' he said before kissing him again more gently this time.

Alec sadly smiled against his lips. ''Can you send a message to Izzy and Jace?'' he asked anxiously.

Magnus kissed him again and tried to comfort him. ''It seems like they are doing well and they have chosen nobody.''

With his anxious face and his worried eyes, Magnus regretted not having telling him about what had happened to Izzy and Jace, It hadn't been up to him to do it anyway but maybe Alec wouldn't have been so worried if he had known it earlier. He pinched his cheek and went to bring his unofficial mother-in-law.

Maryse looked at him haughtily put the steaming cup on the coffee table and Magnus expected that she would thank him out of politeness but it was too much to ask from her.

''You didn't spit on it at least?'' she asked.

He regretted to not have had enough imagination to do so.

''You wouldn't feel it anyway,'' he coldly retorted while glaring at her.

She was determined to hate him or to make him hate her, obviously his existence was problematic but in what ? He could hate her, with everything she had done or rather not done concerning Alec, and the fact that she was picking on him for no reason pissed him off, and a lot.

Alec quietly sat beside her with his cup of coffee, slightly curled up on himself to hide his tattoos and other marks on his body. He could already have dressed up many times but didn't seem to want to leave the living room fearing that they would be at each other's throats as soon as he wouldn't be looking.

Magnus clearly wasn't wanted, his presence seemed to bother a lot Maryse Lightwood who looked at him as if he had the plague. _The gutter rat must go away,_ he bitterly thought while taking his computer on the coffee table.

''We're at his place,'' Alec murmured to his mother.

She was the intruder but had managed to make him feel like he was. If she had been much more friendly he would have mind and would have left quickly but there he really wanted to throw her out and never wanted to see her ever again.

Magnus rolled his eyes, and once his computer in his hands, strode in his red underwear toward his room. He quickly opened the door, dropped his computer on his bed and searched for a t-shirt to give to Alec. He reappeared a few seconds later in the door frame from where he sent a t-shirt to Alec who looked up surprised, caught it and hastened to put it on not without throwing at him a grateful look. Magnus grinned, blew him a kiss and winked at him, to distract him a little given that he looked quite distressed and terribly anxious.

Luckily, Mrs Lightwood didn't see anything and he left the door ajar to be able to hear their conversation. Alec wasn't completely alone this way. He got back his computer and sat behind the door in order to better hear them.

He rolled his eyes when she blamed Alec for not telling everything to his siblings about her future divorce and depression so that it would work in her favor. Izzy and Jace knew everything beforehand and had done as if they didn't know anything to get more information.

He looked at his emails and saw that Ragnor had sent him several addresses where he could find some books. He smiled and hastened to check them and get a few numbers. Chairman Meow let out a frustrated meowing when he couldn't entirely enter his body through the half open door. Magnus looked up and laughed when he saw that he couldn't get through, mainly because his knee was blocking the door. He stood up and opened it before glancing at Alec who was looking in his direction with amusement.

He sat back and his chubby tabby cat rushed to his lap looking for some comfort.

''Don't worry,'' he whispered while stroking his ears. ''The witch's leaving soon.''

And he rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh when Maryse got surprised that Izzy had asked her why she had never done anything.

She was trying to look like a victim to the very end, even with Alec, to make him understand that she had nothing to do with any of that. She didn't recognize her mistakes, surely believing that she didn't do anything wrong.

Alec didn't react, just asked some questions in a neutral, almost jaded tone, without showing his emotions. He was listening to her like a good son. Magnus was pretty sure that he resented her more than he did.

Mrs Lightwood was convinced to be better than her husband, obviously she was as she had never taken any risks by not getting involved in the lives of her children, whom she used to make Robert suffer.

She wanted him to have nothing left, to deprive him of all his possessions and his family so that he might be overwhelmed with grief. Magnus wasn't sure that it would work and that she would get the desired result if she really wanted to hurt her husband.

Without any shame, she admitted in a calm tone that she had manipulated Alec by guaranteeing him the financial security of his siblings because of their status as favorites so that he finally dared to say stop. He was the only one who didn't realize how important he had been in the family and it might be better that way. If Alec came to learn that his father had preferred him over his siblings and had kept him by his side through an abusive way, he would try to understand and why not forgive him.

Magnus didn't want that. He sent an e-mail and scoffed when she said that she was less passive than before. Strangely, Alec and her were alike. Both of them had been prisoners of Robert until then and had freed themselves only recently, after opening their eyes.

She had behaved like a mother, although belatedly, by making Alec open his eyes, Magnus acknowledged her but resented her for reacting this late.

 _Better late than never,_ he thought. That could explain why Alec didn't resent her for anything and still wanted to behave like a good son with her.

He felt incredibly happy when Alec didn't deny about the fact that he didn't care about what she could think of them as a couple, and he stupidly grinned before stroking Chairman Meow still on his lap. He heaved a sigh of relief and tilted his head back before closing his eyes when he heard her say that she had to leave.

 _Finally,_ he thought with relief and winced when his cat stuck his claws in his legs as he stretched. Now they could resume what she had interrupted a few moments ago.

*

His joy was short lived when he saw that Alec was ready to go to work and not as ready to return at his place at night. He wondered if he hadn't been too aggressive the day before by loving him too passionately. His body bore his love marks and Alec had glared at him when he had tried to sit down, but that didn't prevent him from kissing him quickly before leaving.

Max had kindly explained to him why his mother didn't like him. Magnus didn't expect her to appreciate him but he had to admit that he hadn't expected her to hate him so much because of his origins and the fact that he came from nothing. He didn't have any value in her eyes, hence the gutter rat.

It hurt a little but it didn't matter enough for him to care about that. He was dating Alec, not her, and the latter didn't care about her opinion which comforted him a lot.

However, that didn't stop him from complaining to Catarina when they went to have a lunch together.

''Tame Chairman Meow to make him jump on her next time,'' she said while drinking her tea.

''There won't be a next time and it'd make Alec angry.''

She smiled. "You're lucky she's too passive to do anything to really make you break up for good."

''It's strange but she seems to respect his decision about us, she clearly said not me but she didn't insist that much.''

''Lucky for you.''

"It's in her interest if she wants Alec to talk to her again, otherwise he would cut all ties with her and that's not what she apparently wants."

''It's never easy with mothers-in-law anyway,'' she said with a grin.

''I don't know I've never had to do with that,'' he mumbled. "Got some news from your cute waiter?"

Catarina shook her head. ''No, I saw that he's with someone else now on facebook...it wasn't serious anyway,'' she murmured. ''Besides, I don't have time for that.''

''Your work is important but you happiness, not that you can only be happy in a relationship but your job mustn't prevent you to have a life.''

''A love life ?'' she asked with narrowed eyes. ''I don't have time for that unlike some,'' she added while looking into his eyes.

''I made time for Alec.''

''I can see with your neck,'' she retorted with a smirk. ''I don't dare to imagine Alec's state,'' she murmured for herself.

Magnus did as if she said nothing and asked for the bill.

''Be careful though,'' she said with concern. ''If Alec's mother came unexpectedly, his father could do the same.''

Magnus frowned. ''Why would he do that ?''

Catarina shrugged. ''We never know.''

Magnus' frown deepened, it could happen but he seriously doubted that Robert would come to his place just to speak to Alec about something. It didn't make sense, unless he missing him and was worried.

It was too ridiculous and disturbing but he still wondered how Alec would react, hoping that he wouldn't forgive him that easily.

**

Disappointed that Alec didn't want to come tonight to enjoy his bed and himself, he was ready to lie down earlier than usual and glanced at his phone to see if he hadn't received a last message from him but Alec didn't send him any so he sent him some, expecting a quick answer that wasn't coming. He was probably already asleep in his awful apartment.

Once he had removed his make-up, he undressed and immediately froze when his phone buzzed. Chairman Meow comfortably settled in the sink, straightened up and Magnus hurriedly took it before the cat could use it as a toy.

The disappointment that it wasn't Alec was brief, Catarina was calling him while she was supposed to work.

''What's wrong ?'' he asked with worry.

''Don't panic, okay ?'' she calmly said.

Magnus began to panic. ''What happened ? Are you okay ?''

''I'm totally fine, Alec is here actually, in my hospital, and I think that you have to come.''

Magnus' heart stopped beating and he stopped breathing

''He's fine,'' she firmly said. ''Breathe.''

''Then why is he in the hospital ?'' he hissed while dressing up as quickly as possible.

''It's complicated I'd say, just come and bring him to your place, he'll be safe this way. I have to go, call me when you'll be here,'' she quickly said before hanging up.

He swore, finished dressing up and rushed outside. He quickly found a taxi but the traffic didn't allow him to arrive as quickly as he wished. He was so worried that it paralyzed him, he was strangely calm in appearance, his heart never had beaten this fast and his brain burst with absurd thoughts.

Alec didn't reply to his messages, which made his concern worsen. Had he had an accident? Had he been attacked? Catarina could at least have told him what had happened, he grumbled and tried to call her when he arrived in front of the hospital before asking the taxi driver to wait for him, and rushed inside.

He nervously ran a hand through his hair, seeing the crowded reception and not knowing where to go. Besides, Catarina didn't pick up his call. He was about to call her again when he spotted her, coming out of a room and looking displeased.

''What happened ?'' he asked while grabbing her by the arm.

She jumped with fright and put her hand on her heart. ''You scared me,'' she hissed before taking a deep breath. "He'll tell you everything, but don't worry, he has nothing broken, and he'll be out soon, wait here, okay?"

Magnus' eyes widened and gasped when he saw Alec walk in their direction. His face was terribly wounded, swollen, blued, red and bloody in some places, just like his shirt that had some blood here and there. Alec winced when he saw him and stepped backward, when Magnus strode towards him.

''Look at you...,'' Magnus murmured with wide eyes while softly cupping his face in his hands. ''What happened? Catarina only told me that you didn't have anything broken.''

And he got this stupid reflex to kiss Alec's cut and swollen lips which made him whine and wince. With his good eye, Alec glanced at him and pulled away from his embrace.

''I can't even kiss you,'' lamented Magnus with a frown. ''Does it hurt?''

It seemed to hurt as hell.

''It tingles,'' Alec murmured.

Magnus winced when he saw more closely the state of his face. He had several deep cuts that required stitches or something like that here and there, let alone his right eye, swollen and purplish that he could barely open. He winced and looked at his hands which seemed fine despite some redness at the joints. He had clearly fought, but with whom and why ? Maybe he had met Donovan...

''Robert is far better,'' Alec said.

Magnus immediately looked up with wide eyes. ''What? Did you fight with your father? I thought it was with Matthew Donovan!''

Alec frowned. ''He was waiting for me, and he didn't like what I said...and I didn't either, so it came to blows,'' he summed up. ''But he still took me here,'' he added. ''And I lost my phone.''

Magnus began to wonder if Catarina had had a premonition when she told him earlier in the day that Robert just as his wife could eventually show up. He understood better her take Alec home, he'll be safe.

''He was waiting for you?'' he angrily repeated before huffing. ''What did he say?''

''Some blame because he refuses to take the blame himself and he stated that he would file a complaint against me,'' he mumbled.

''Fortunately, Catarina called me,'' Magnus hissed. ''I'm sure you would have gone home as if nothing had happened and you would have only told me when we would see each other: _'Oh oops I forgot to tell you my father beat me up but don't worry it doesn't hurt anymore.'''_

Alec guiltily looked down, that was what he had intended to do.

''I hope you fought back with everything you got,'' he added, he still couldn't believe that they had come to fight for real.

Alec sheepishly winced and Magnus softened.

''What will I do with you?'' he murmured with a little smile. ''You can imagine that in your condition I won't let you go back home, I'm sure you don't even have ice or frozen stuff for your face.''

Alec didn't protest and obediently followed him outside. Magnus couldn't even be pleased with the fact that he would spend the night at his place, too dismayed that he had fought with his father. It had been violent and the fact that Alec could be violent left him speechless.

He had been very surprised the first time when he was told that Alec was fighting in his kitchen. It was a facet he hadn't been aware and surprising enough from the calm, discreet and almost indifferent image that Alec was sending back.

He glanced at him with worry when he winced as he sat down in the taxi while holding his stomach.

''He wanted me to hit him,'' he murmured once inside.

Magnus gave his address to the driver who suspiciously stared at Alec.

''And you hit him, he must be the happiest man in the world now,'' he sarcastically said while staring at him with a wince. ''He cut your handsome face to shreds... it's the opportunity to check if I fell in love with you only for your appearance or not,'' he added in a light tone while touching his hand.

Alec slightly smiled and let out a groan of pain.

''Sorry,'' Magnus hastened to apologize. ''So...no kisses for how long?''

Strangely, he terribly wanted to kiss him despite the state of his lips.

Alec shrugged and he kissed him in the corner of the lips, the only spot spared.

''Your father is too proud,'' he murmured. ''But he's a clever man so he'll realize that he's the problem...he just needs time, it's not easy to question yourself when you think to have done what was right.''

''You think he can file a complaint against me?'' asked Alec with worry.

Magnus snorted looking out the window. ''If he does he is even more stupid than I thought, forget what I said about a clever man.''

He sincerely hoped that he wouldn't, he already had enough to deal with his divorce and it would be rather childish from him since he was the one who had provoked Alec.

He had forgotten to turn off the light when he had left his apartment in a hurry and the faucet in the bathroom was open, but he suspected Chairman Meow for that as he loved to drink from the tap.

He let Alec wash up and prepare himself to go to bed while he was fetching a pack of ice cubes in his freezer. He grabbed several ice cubes for cocktail that he put in a plastic bag and wrapped a cloth around it before heading toward the bathroom.

Alec had just put on a pajama bottom and didn't mind that he had opened the door, but turned his back.

''It's a miracle that your nose wasn't broken,'' said Magnus while handing him the cold cloth.

''I broke his, '' Alec stated while applying what he had brought on the worst part of his face.

''Well done,'' Magnus congratulated him with a proud smile.

''I must apologize to Honey and Alice,'' said Alec while quickly putting on a t-shirt.

Magnus frowned when he saw the purplish and red marks on his stomach, which had nothing to do with the kind of marks he could leave on his body. He blocked the passage, preventing him from leaving the bathroom, and lifted up his t-shirt with narrowed eyes.

"You're covered with bruises,'' he growled angrily.

''Yeah I fought with someone.''

''Does it hurt?''

''No,'' Alec replied, heading toward the bedroom. ''I just want to sleep.''

''Don't worry, I'll let you sleep,''

Alec smiled and winced, and Magnus hastened to apologize with a kiss which worsened his pain.

''Sorry,'' he apologized after seeing his wince. ''Reflex.''

Chairman Meow didn't move when he saw them ready to go to bed as if he wanted to sleep with them. Magnus took the tabby cat from the bed and gently put him on the floor.

''You take so much more space than before,'' he declared with a disapproving frown.

Chairman Meow stared at him and walked away as worthily as he could. Alec slid his wounded body into the dark blue sheets and remained inert, slightly wincing. Magnus looked at him for a long time and turned off the light before lying on his left. Alec, who was on the left side of the bed, moved to leave him his place and froze when Magnus slipped an arm over his stomach and rested his head over his heart, wiggling to wedge himself, to finally drag one leg over his.

Alec's heart beat faster and he was so stiff that he wondered if his head on his chest was hurting him.

''You can relax now,'' he teased, kissing his chest through the fabric. "Unless it hurts, '' he added.

''No it's okay like this,''Alec said awkwardly.

Relieved, Magnus squeezed him slightly harder. ''You'll have one of those heads tomorrow,'' he murmured.

Alec hummed and eventually relaxed. Magnus lengthily kissed his heart and rested his ear against his heart, waiting for him to fall asleep, which happened quickly with everything that he had to take before going to bed.

Now, his breathing was slow and steady and his heart beats at a much slower pace. Lulled, Magnus blinked, yawned and closed his eyes not without thinking that Alec had to move in here and quickly.

When he woke up, he no longer was on Alec, Chairman Meow had stolen his spot and was soundly asleep on Alec's belly. He quickly looked at how Alec's face was doing, it was worse. The colors were stronger and his wounds more swollen.

He gently pulled out from the bed to avoid waking him up and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. When he came back with a large glass of orange juice, Alec was awake and staring at Chairman Meow still lying on his stomach.

''You're crushed under the weight of Chairman Meow?'' he asked while giving him the orange juice and he wondered if it wouldn't stink his lips.

''Leave your cat alone he's just a little chubby,'' Alec murmured with difficulty as if he didn't dare to move his lips.

''Are you sure you want to go to work?'' he asked with worry.

''Yes, I want to traumatize everyone,'' Alec replied while stroking the tabby cat who closed his eyes in a please way. ''It's worse than yesterday?''

Magnus winced. ''I love you as you are,'' he simply said with a grin.

Alec looked down.''Thank you.''

''Did you say thank you or I love you?'' Magnus teased.

Alec didn't react which made him sigh and roll his eyes before leaning in to kiss his neck. ''Okay, go and scare people if you want.''

''Am I that scary ?'' he asked with worry.

Honestly he was but Magnus hoped that Robert was worse than him. In an answer, he kissed him again in the neck and disappeared into the kitchen.

*

In his office, Magnus closed his eyes and took a medicine for his headache. These few days had been exhausting, chaotic, since he had returned. He didn't regret it, far from it, but he would have liked to be warned beforehand that he would live stressful moments, too intense for his heart and his brain.

And all because of on person.

He had the impression that they had fought for no reason, Alec had been unable to clearly explain why he had come over if not to be hit. Magnus frowned, Robert was really fucked up.

He needed to take a break from everything, as if he hadn't digested everything yet and knowing that there were still many to stomach. He still hadn't with the contracts, Maryse's behavior and what had happened very recently.

A lot had happened, too quickly for him but he knew that going to Catarina's friendly meal will do him some good. He straightened up in his chair and sent her a message.

**Magnus-selfish-cat**

_Did you tell Izzy and Jace ?_

**Cata**

_No, tonight and you'll have to tell them_

**Magnus-selfish-cat**

_Why me ?_

**Cata**

_Are you scared?_

**Magnus-selfish-cat**

_No but their reactions are too unpredictable_

**Cata**

_Shhh let me sleep_

**Magnus-selfish-cat**

_Thanks for yesterday_

**Cata**

_I know and don't worry I just did my job and I saw what you've done to him, poor Alec you're too savage for him_

Magnus snorted.

**Magnus-selfish-cat**

_You didn't see mine and believe me or not but Alec can be quite savage too_

**Cata**

_I don't want to know, good night._

**Cata**

_Or rather good day, don't send me any texts I won't answer_

Magnus smiled and winced, his headache still hadn't disappear.

 

He was sorting out all the books he had bought with Ragnor who let out a groan of pain when he dropped an encyclopedia on his foot.

''Shit,'' he whined while jumping around.

Magnus chuckled and pulled his phone from his pocket. Alec had found his phone.

"He won't come, I guess?" asked Ragnor with a wince.

"No, the adorable little monster has preferred to show himself all day long to hide in the evening."

"He's that ugly?" Ragnor asked anxiously, handing him three books. ''They arrived today. ''

Magnus smiled. ''Thank you, I don't know how I would have managed on my own and he looks like a cute little monster.''

Ragnor narrowed his eyes. ''A cute little monster ? But you're right, you'll be nothing without me,'' joked his friend while wallowing in his couch. ''How many?''

''Do you really want to know?'' Magnus said while staring at him, finishing to store the books in a box.

Ragnor frowned. ''How much did you spend?''

 _A lot of money,_ thought Magnus, a precise amount in mind. A four digit number.

''I still have enough to live comfortably.''

"You'll need help with the shelf?" Ragnor asked while getting up to get a glass of water.

''Not really and I'm waiting for Alec to move in with me, it'll be a surprise. ''

Ragnor hummed. ''Do you have what's needed for putting it together?''

''I do, unless Chairman Meow had fun to hide everything, and in this case I will have to borrow a screwdriver. ''

He straightened up and sighed while massaging his back. All the books he could find were in their boxes ready to be taken home at the appropriate time.

"We have to go," Ragnor noted, handing him a drink.

Magnus nodded and emptied his drink. ''I need to be mentally ready.''

''For what ?''

''Izzy and Jace.''

Ragnor rolled his eyes. ''They won't hit you.''

''Why would they ?'' Magnus asked with wide eyes.

''Because nobody told them for Alec ?''

Magnus stood idly, scared to be hit by one of them. He hadn't thought about this possibility.

''You'll be fine,'' sighed Ragnor with a roll of eyes. ''Let's go.''

They took a taxi to not be late, and Ragnor told him that he was still in touch with his charming young lady from Saint Lucia.

''It's Catarina who's going to be happy,'' said Magnus with a little smile. ''She's worried about your single life. ''

He huffed. "What about hers ?"

"She is married to her work but will occasionally allow herself some extra-marital relationships."

Ragnor snorted. "Speaking of that, Simon cheated on Izzy or not?"

Magnus shrugged. "I don't know but I don't think so, I thought it got better between them and apparently not, she's just jealous."

''Chairman Meow has lost some weight?''

''No and I intend to make Simon just as big.''

Ragnor grinned and they got out from the taxi. They were the last ones to arrive, and Catarina made them enter with a wince.

''Tell them,'' she hissed.

''Did you tell them that he has a phone, now ?'' he whispered in the entrance whereas Ragnor was greeting everyone.

''No.''

''You should have.''

''Hey,'' greeted him Jace. ''Where's Alec ?''

''Something happened again ?'' asked Izzy with a frown.

Clary, in the couch, waved at him and Simon winced when their eyes met. Magnus narrowed his eyes and stared back at the troublesome siblings.

''He's fine, he's just look like a monster and needs privacy,'' he carefully said. ''He got in a fight with Robert,'' he hastened to add which made their eyes widened. ''He's a bit banged up and he has a phone now so harass him, not me, for details.''

He then moved into the couch with a sigh of relief as Catarina explained in a professional way that she had patched him up at the hospital and that he had fought back well given Robert's condition.

"You had to look after him too?" asked Jace.

''No, but if I had to, I would have,'' she firmly said before pushing them in the living room.

''How's Chairman Meow ?'' shyly asked Simon.

''He's fat,'' he grumpily said. ''I can't believe you made him this chubby, you said that your sister had a hamster !''

Clary suspiciously stared at Simon while Magnus was giving his phone to Izzy for Alec's number.

''What ? There was no hamster ?'' he asked Clary who hastened to drink a drink.

Simon ran away in the kitchen to help Catarina and Izzy, who ignored him. Clary finally shook her head.

''He loves cats,'' she said to defend Simon and his lie. "He thought he was doing well to feed him so much."

Magnus heaved a sigh and glared at Simon who was setting the table.

''How's it going with the siblings ?''

''They argue from time to time but it's okay, we've lent them some money and they're taking control of their lives slowly but surely. They're not incompetents. "

''I never said that,'' he murmured.

'' Can I have the Alec number? ''

''Yeah, ask Izzy, she still has my phone.''

And Jace heavily sat down beside him to ask him exactly and with details how Alec looked like a cute monster. Strangely, everything seemed normal, they were all gathered -except Alec- despite the recent events and they looked perfectly fine.

The Lightwoods children were strong and perfectly able to stand on their own, even if it wasn't and wouldn't be that easy.

Catarina and him exchanged a little smile and they sat down to eat.

*

Max was kind enough to warn him that he was booking the evening with Alec tonight, which made him chuckle for a long time.

 _Go ahead,_ he had send while strolling in the street looking for a watch.

He had broken his, or rather Chairman Meow had broken his by making it fall from the bedside table where he used to put it. Besides, Alec's birthday would be for very soon, even though he still had time to find his gifts.

Alec no longer had a watch either, he had to give up his: a huge and flashy thing that Magnus had never really liked. A watch would be a perfect gift among others for him but he couldn't find anything, nothing caught his attention and could possibly suit Alec. He found one for himself but didn't buy it, preferring to go home to take a bath.

Once in his bath, he sent foam to Chairman Meow who avoided the projectile and ran away. With a satisfied smile Magnus sank a little more into the hot and colorful water. He threw back his head and sighed with relief.

He had seen Robert in the street a little earlier, his nose purplish and slightly banged up too, with a younger and rather pretty woman who looked nothing like Maryse. Magnus had immediately crossed the street to be able to observe them quietly and incognito.

He had wanted to hit him but had feared to make worsen everything. Robert Lightwood was nothing for him if not the man who had emotionally destroyed his children and neglected the others.

He had just observed them and had done nothing else, like Maryse Lightwood. He could at least have threatened him to not file a complaint against Alec but if he had really intended to do so he would have done it straight away.

It reminded him bitterly of something and to clear his thoughts and prevent himself from rambling, he put his head under water.

''Chairman Meow,'' he sighed when the fur ball decided to play with his leg when he wiped his body.

He winced and grabbed him before dropping a big kiss on the top of his head. He was so needy currently, probably frustrated to be on a diet, Never he had had so many scratches on the calves and never his cat had so much misbehaved.

_Thanks to Simon and his fucking hamster._

He threw his cat into the bed, grabbed some clothes and took his phone to ask Max for Alec's pictures. The latter told him that he was getting better but he couldn't help being worried, as if he feared that his face would rot off overnight.

But Max didn't send him any pictures.

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_How's the pajama party?_

He didn't have to wait to receive an answer.

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_This is a disaster, they broke my bed and are waking up the entire building._

Perfect, he thought. This way he'll move in with him more quickly. He immediately called him.

''So none of you is in bed? I mean sleeping on the floor.''

''You neither,'' Alec said.

''I'm in bed with Chairman Meow currently waiting a visit from my boyfriend who deserted the conjugal bed. How's your face? ''

''It's getting better, I guess.''

''Really? Then you're coming this Saturday night for my party. ''

''I'll try.''

''I know this tone it means  _I don't want to go_ ,'' Magnus scowled.

''I have an excuse, I'm disfigured, and I don't want people to stare at me,'' Alec protested and he suddenly heard a shriek and a laugh. It was Max's laugh.

''I'm sure Max has the upper hand,'' Magnus snorted wondering whether it was Izzy or Jace who had whined.

''I hope they won't destroy everything,'' Alec mumbled. ''Good night.''

''Good night, see you Saturday night, then?''

''You want me to make everyone run away?''

Magnus chuckled. ''I'm looking forward to it my little monster,'' he said before hanging up.

He had sounded exhausted but happy at the same time, Magnus knew that this pajama party was _like before_ and that this siblings bounding would be kind of repairing for the four of them. They needed it. Alec and him weren't the only ones who needed to start on new basis, they all needed to.

In the middle of the night, the screen of his phone lit up and he straightened up, making Chairman Meow meow.

**Izzy**

_Just so you know, Jace said Clary would dye his hair pink if you and Alec ever get married._

**Alec's bae**

_I want to see that but if Alec and me ever get married someday it wouldn't be just because I want to see Jace with pink hair_

**Alec's bae**

_And why did you talk about marriage ?_

**Izzy**

_Good night_

**Izzy**

_I hope it'll happen someday..._

Magnus couldn't sleep. _Why did they talk about that ?_ He never had thought about this matter, it was too soon anyway and even if he was already considering spending the rest of his life with Alec, he had never associated marriage with their relationship.

Even if it sounded nice.

With a groan that he stifled in his pillow he cursed Izzy to have disturb his sleep.

*

 _Pink would suit Jace and a lot,_ he thought, seeing the latter give Simon a beer with a big smile.

Simon met his gaze and immediately disappeared from his sight, especially when Chairman Meow rubbed against his legs. Magnus wasn't sure that the tabby cat had recognized the man who had fed him until he had exploded, but the fact was that he seemed to love him enough to want to mark his territory on his pants.

It was his first party since his eventful return and he smiled with satisfaction as he saw his guests having fun. It just missed Alec and everything would be perfect.

"Simon can't stay?" Izzy worried, holding Clary's hand.

Magnus smirked. ''If you're that worried, go and talk to him, he can stay at the doorstep since Chairman Meow has lost some weight, but he'll be welcome again once my cat will lose all his extra kilos....''

Clary rolled her eyes whereas Izzy stared at him with narrowed eyes, and she walked away, still holding Clary's hand.

**My Glittery Darling <3**

_I hope you didn't forget my party, I really want to see you even if you look like a little monster._

**My Handsome Blue-Eyed Darling <3**

_I'll be late_

He smiled and went toward the cocktails table.

The news traveled fast and he was asked several times if everything was going well with his boyfriend. Surprised, Magnus glanced discreetly at Catarina and Ragnor, who looked at each other. They had said nothing. Magnus guessed that some of them had wondered where his boyfriend had been at his birthday party, as Alec hadn't been part of the trip.

''Everything's fine, he was just busy,'' he simply explained.

Yeah, Alec had been busy emancipating himself while Magnus was waiting for him while trying to forget his pain, not knowing what was going on the whole time. His lips curled up, he was now no longer as happy as he had been a few moments before.

Never he would forget what had happened. With a knowing smile, Catarina gave him another drink and Ragnor walked towards Chairman Meow when he spotted the chubby tabby cat who walked around.

Alec wasn't here yet, he noted with narrowed eyes, trying to spot his hideout but obviously he wasn't hiding here.

''He's with Simon outside,'' Ragnor said into his ear.

 _Not inside but outside,_ he sighed inwardly before thanking the latter.

''He looks okay,'' added Ragnor. ''And Simon really needs to use your bathroom.''

''No,'' he laconically said on their way to the front door.

Alec was sitting in the corridor and talking with Simon. He was in better shape, his face was less swollen, almost normal even if he still had a few cuts on his face, his lips were completely healed despite the small wound in the middle.

''I knew it, I was sure that you would hide Alexander,'' he smirked, moving closer without looking at Simon.

Alec stood up and gave him an apologetic smile.

Magnus put his glass half full on the ground and grabbed him by the waist with a wide grin. ''You look better, '' he noticed while peering at him more closely.

Alec also stared at him and seemed to like his make-up, before kissing him softly, almost shyly and Magnus hastened to kiss him back with enthusiasm.

''We can kiss now,'' he happily murmured against his lips without noticing Simon who was trying to go inside.

The only thing that he noticed was Alec who was distracted and wasn't kissing him with the same fervor. He grabbed his upper lip between his teeth in order to make him focus on him again and his eyes narrowed in a please way when Alec got receptive.

They stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall exchanging kisses, smiles, and affectionate nose strokes until they were interrupted by Clary and Jace were ready to go home.

Jace cleared his throat and Magnus stopped what he was doing to glare at him and did a shoo gesture with his hand. Clary smiled and waved at Alec while pulling Jace, who seemed a little tipsy, from the arm.

They resumed where they left off and Alec slipped his hands under his clothes while Magnus pulled him closer than he already was. He slipped a leg between his and pressed him against the wall, like when Max had caught them cuddling each other, and attacked his neck, not expecting to be once again interrupted.

''Sorry,'' apologized Ragnor with wince. ''I was wondering where you were.''

''Where did you want me to be?'' he grumpily retorted while Alec cleared his throat and looked down to hide his face. ''The party has just ended.''

Ragnor didn't seem surprised. ''Okay, I'll tell them.''

So that Alec and him could enjoy the rest of the evening just the both of them.

*

Alec was like a cat, a little wild and independent that it was necessary to let him come to you. He could be affectionate -and very affectionate- but it was easier for him to do so when Magnus touched him first, otherwise he would try to clumsily get his attention by touching his hands or his rings.

Like last night.

They had not slept much and had spoken a lot, and in the privacy of the room Alec had tried to be spontaneous and affectionate, which had worked and marveled Magnus with his cat behavior.

Either when he touched him Alec spontaneously reacted, either he stopped and analyzed the situation, not ready to receive affection or not ready to give. Magnus didn't really want to admit it but it amused him a lot even though Alec was still not really giving in.

There was always this restraint even though it had improved a lot since this contracts story, as if Alec finally allowed himself to let go but six years of restraint and denial wouldn't disappear so easily. But there was some progress, a lot of progress and their relationship promised to be healthier than before.

Everything was better now.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Alec was looking at his hands with a particular attention and made him have trouble to focus on the movie they were supposed to watch, wondering when he would take action. He found it difficult to hold back a cry of triumph when Alec naturally leaned against his shoulder, nestled his head in the crook of his neck, and fiddled his fingers and rings absently. He hastened to close his hand over his, mingled their fingers together, pressed his lips against his forehead and smiled, eyes focused on the TV screen with a wide grin.

He was smiling too much, Alec looked up with a frown.

''You're like a cat,'' Magnus marveled.

Alec immediately stared at Chairman Meow who yawned and graciously jumped down despite his weight, before staring back at him with a puzzled look.

''What do you mean?''

''Whenever you want to touch me, and you don't know what to do, you touch my hands, and you play with my rings and my fingers,'' Magnus explained in an amused tone. ''And when I touch you, you stop moving completely as if you were trying to identify a potential danger, and when you realize that it feels nice, you let me pet you, and you go away once you're happy, and when you have enough.''

Alec had certainly been a cat in a previous life.

Alec stared blankly and slightly at their intertwined fingers and after noticing that he was currently doing what he had said stopped fiddling with his rings and fingers.

''This cat seems selfish,'' he mumbled. ''Luckily you have Chairman Meow who seems much more affectionate.''

Magnus chuckled. ''This cat isn’t selfish, he’s just not used to being pet that’s all.’’

‘'That’s why you’re always stroking him?’’ Alec asked, head still leaning on his shoulder.

‘'Of course, I love cats, and I have to pet him a lot if I want him to be affectionate with me,’’ Magnus said with a grin.

Alec narrowed his eyes. ''Really?’’ he asked, staring up.

Magnus looked down at him and his smile widened when he took his face in his hands as if it was the most delicate thing in the world.

''See?'' he teased when Alec didn't dare to move before finally deciding to hug him. ''Like a cat,'' he added before kissing him.

Alec suddenly snorted against his lips and squeezed him harder against him.

They were no longer watching the movie, Magnus was no longer interested into it, as Alec had managed to caught his attention quite well. Their cuddles session was becoming more and more intense in the couch and Magnus decided to kiss his wounded cheekbone like a catfish with a suction noise and did it several times on his face with amusement.

''I didn't know you could kiss like that,'' murmured Alec with a smile against his skin.

Magnus snorted. ''Wait and see, you haven't seen anything yet,'' he murmured against his neck that he nibbled, and he slid his hands under his shirt, making him shudder and sigh. He suddenly felt his lips against his ear, and Alec nibbled the lobe before kissing the hollow just underneath.

Magnus let out a groan and his hands pressed his back a little harder, then the TV suddenly crashed on the ground in a deafening noise. They broke apart from each other, and both looked at the origin of the incident. Chairman Meow seemed as surprised as they were and seemed to have thought that he could do everything like before : going behind the screen to hide. He looked at Magnus perfectly knowing that he had done something bad and scarpered as fast as his legs and belly allowed him.

Magnus heaved a sigh and shook his head whereas Alec smiled before kissing his neck one last time.

*

After leaving Alec's building, Magnus walked a few meters across the street and decided to not take a taxi. He had to check something, and preferred to take the subway to go home. He didn't plan to go back immediately obviously, he still had to find a watch for Alec and was determined to find the one that would suit him perfectly.

He had to face facts, he was followed, if not why the man who despite being a stranger looked familiar and was always where he was ? The first time he had noticed this man with a mustache, he was with Ragnor and Catarina eating in a restaurant, they had decided to eat in town and the man had followed them. His friends hadn't noticed anything unlike him and he had wondered if he wasn't paranoid or if he didn't make things up.

Obviously not since the man still went after him when he went out from the station.

He wondered if Alec too, but he would have told to him if it had been the case unless he hadn't noticed anything. Magnus sincerely doubted that he would have kept it for himself, he really hoped it wasn't the case.

He still didn't know if it was Robert or Maryse who wanted to keep an eye on him, and in both cases he didn't really understand why. Alec no longer belonged in the family, was free to do whatever he wanted and could now live his life as he wished.

Robert still felt the need to keep an eye on his eldest son apparently as they no longer had a relationship with each other, unlike Maryse that Alec was still seeing.

Magnus sincerely hoped that he was the only one who was followed and not Alec who already had experienced that in an oppressive way and he didn't want him to go through that ever again. But he couldn't tell as they didn't see each other this much these last few days.

Simon's concert tonight would be an opportunity to check if Alec was also followed or if the man was following him just to see if they were still seeing each other or was following him just to be able to spy on Alec when they were together.

In any case, Alec was involved and Magnus wouldn't tolerate it.

The man with his mustache kept his distance and if he crossed the street to go in the flower shop in front of the jewelry shop in which Magnus had just entered, it was to better observe him. He rolled his eyes and greeted the jeweler with a small smile. He didn't have to greet him, the man recognized him and immediately disappeared to seek his order. Magnus was looking at the rings gently gleaming in their window displays when he came back with a black box.

''She just arrived this morning,'' he said as he opened the jewelry box.

Magnus' smile widened when he saw the watch which was perfect : a black leather bracelet, a silver dial and starry background, and a Sun and a Moon for the twelve and six. It was the perfect watch for Alec, she was discreet, sober but sophisticated and echoed to his tattoo on his shoulder, but what made him choose this one was the phases of the Moon that changed in real time.

The Moon perfectly represented the change and made this watch the perfect birthday present for Alec.

''Your boyfriend will be very happy,'' the jeweler said with a little smile.

The first time Magnus had come to take a look at the store front, the jeweler had approached and asked if he was looking for something for his girlfriend.

''A watch for my boyfriend,'' had rectified Magnus.

The man had then smiled and had showed him the models he had, before showing him his catalogs where Magnus had immediately spotted the watch.

He went out of the jewelry store, the jewelry case carefully tucked in a small black bag, and immediately spotted his stalker who went out at the same time from the flower shop to watch the flowers on the sidewalk. Magnus shook his head and rushed into a taxi to go home.

He hoped that he wouldn't be followed this evening and that he wouldn't expose Alec otherwise he would be forced to pay a visit to Robert Lightwood.

 

He looked at his phone one last time but Alec hadn't answered him yet, he was still working probably, he sighed while going in the concert bart where Simon and his group were playing. He wasn't very early but wasn't as late as Alec.

He discreetly looked behind him and didn't see the man with a mustache. At least, not the same one. He hadn't been followed this time and it reassured him. Simon was already on stage and he looked at him for a long time before cheerfully greeting the others. Chairman Meow had finally lost some weight and they had to celebrate that.

Obviously, Izzy and Simon had made up as they exchanged glances and smiles, and Magnus leaned in discreetly to ask Jace if there were any news from the family.

Jace raised an eyebrow. ''You mean with Robert ? Not with Izzy or me but Max said that he calls him from time to time but he doesn't want to see him, and Maryse does as if nothing happened, I didn't see her since last time.''

Magnus hesitated to ask what bothered him all day long. ''Are any of you followed by someone ?''

Jace frowned. ''No, I checked many times, why ?''

Magnus shrugged as if it didn't matter but Izzy grabbed his arm, her face full of concern. ''Who's followed ?'' she asked.

''You and me,'' said Jace while staring at Magnus. ''Alec is still followed ?''

''No,'' Magnus firmly said. ''I just wanted to know that's why I've asked.''

Izzy narrowed her eyes. ''Sure ?''

''Yeah,'' he said with a smile trying to convince her that he wasn't lying, and he wasn't as he was the one to be followed, until proven otherwise

Luckily for him, the conversation between Catarina and Clary distracted enough Izzy who didn't deepen the topic with him.

"I don't get why Robert would keep an eye on any of us even on Alec. I mean, it's over, it's all over,'' murmured Jace with a frown.

''We never know,'' simply retorted Magnus. ''Keep a close eye just in case.''

''Yeah but he's the one who broke everything so I really can't see why he'd keep trying to keep an eye on us, don't be paranoid,'' he added.

Magnus snorted. He also didn't get why he was followed if not because of his ties with Alec but it seemed unlikely, especially since Alec was still indirectly involved despite his family circumstances. Magnus doubted that Robert was interested in him, it was impossible, it was just a way to get to Alec so he wouldn't notice anything like this.

At the mere thought that Robert was still roaming around Alec, the son he had denied, deeply irritated Magnus. Alec no longer owed him anything, had nothing to do with him, it was over. And especially since they had hit each other, the split had then been definitive as soon as they went into the hospital.

It couldn't go on the same anyway.

He suddenly felt a hand on his back who poked him quickly. Magnus immediately turned around and his face lit up when he saw Alec before lovingly embracing him as if they were alone in the world and even if they saw each other that same morning.

''You didn't answer my text, '' he said against his lips.

Alec frowned and moved closer to hear better what he was saying, with a grin Magnus hastened to kiss his ear. And even through the crowd inside, he immediately noticed the spy who had followed him earlier all day long. He was at the back of the room, with a glass in hand, and was chatting with someone else.

Since when was he here? He had checked before and after arriving, had he appeared after Alec because he was following him? The man with the mustache lowered his gaze and vanished, taking advantage of the passage of a group of people.

He didn't pay attention to what was going on around him, although he still held Alec against him.

''You're disgusting,'' he repeated in an obvious tone without knowing why Catarina and Izzy had said that to Jace.

He behaved normally, despite the presence of the spy aka Robert's eyes, it didn't change anything but he wasn't feeling that great. He only wanted to hurry and left with Alec to preserve their privacy and especially to protect the latter from the preying eyes of the guy who was probably still i the corner.

With a mischievous smile, he slipped his hand into the back pocket of Alec's pants, who gave him a surprised look, _it mustn't change anything, absolutely nothing,_ he thought with a big smile when Alec did the same, but with more difficulty, in his much tighter pants.

They stayed until the end and Magnus congratulated himself for behaving normally throughout the concert before they could finally left. He checked one last time before getting into the taxi if the spy wasn't behind them and went inside.

''You had a lot of work?'' he asked.

Alec nodded. ''Yeah, Victor is sick.''

Magnus hummed. ''You'll all fell ill at this rate, I'm sure he can hire more people.''

''We'll see when he returns, maybe his health will convince him,'' he murmured.

''I hope, you're too tired sometimes and we can't do anything.''

Alec didn't seem flustered with the innuendo, he hadn't got it.

''In bed,'' he added. ''You and me, our wrestling match, all naked.''

And he looked outside though the window if they were followed but it wasn't like he could really tell with all these cars behind them. He smiled when he got the expected reaction from Alec and took his hand that he squeezed gently into his.

He wasn't particularly desperate or horny or anything like that, it was just that Alec was too busy or too tired and when he came over they couldn't really enjoy their time together as he immediately fell asleep. Victor exploited all his employees and had exploited himself so much that he was now sick, Magnus couldn't hate him.

Alec fiddled his rings and glanced up. ''You want your magic kiss? '' he asked awkwardly.

Magnus blinked. ''I especially want you, I don't care about what we can do... Just a little more than usual.''

''It doesn't bother you to talk about this in public?'' Alec whispered with worry whereas he was the one who had mentioned out loud the magic kiss.

''Sex is everywhere, it's a healthy thing, '' Magnus stated. ''And I don't care.''

Besides, it didn't seem to bother the driver.

''I do,'' Alec mumbled which made him grin. He loved the fact that he couldn't speak about the matter without being embarrassed or awkward.

''You were so pure, '' Magnus teased. ''But not for a long time, '' he smirked.

''I'm no longer pure,'' Alec murmured as if he had just noticed that.

And Magnus' grin widened but he only relaxed when they returned to his apartment. He couldn't see if the man in the passenger seat in the next taxi was the man with the mustache or not but he was too distracted by Alec's hand in his and the kiss in his neck that the latter gave him in the hall.

He kissed him back and patiently waited for them to arrive at his place before throwing himself upon him. Chairman Meow welcomed with narrowed eyes and threw himself on Alec's legs to rub against him and be cuddled. Alec barely had time to take Chairman Meow in his arms as Magnus was quicker and kissed him passionately. Alec snorted against his mouth and grabbed his face to kiss him with everything he had.

Magnus hummed with contentment when Alec nibbled his neck before making him focus on his mouth again. They were still in the entrance, kissing furiously and it slightly went out of control but they only realized it when Alec lost his balance and nearly crashed into the wall if Magnus hadn't held him to prevent him to fall.

They went to the bedroom while kissing and undressing, or rather Alec was the only one undressing him, even though Magnus didn't need help, which made him laugh.

''You too,'' he reminded him against his neck.

Alec reluctantly withdrew his hands from his pants.

''Clothes off, '' Magnus insisted while pulling his t-shirt up.

His arms entangled in his top and trying to remove it, Magnus hastened to unbutton his pants and opened his fly whereas Alec stiffened. He hurried to send off his shirt and captured his face eagerly in his hands, sliding one hand behind his neck to deepen their kisses. Magnus' hands pressed harder his tattoos and skin, and he chuckled when they bumped against the door of the room. He hurried to open it, almost pushed Alec inside before closing it and putting his hands back on him.

Alec let out a groan when Magnus slipped his hands inside his pants to better grasp his bottom, bringing their hips and their throbbing area together. He stifled his own into his neck and inadvertently made him trip with his eagerness, Alec clung to him to not fall and they collapsed into the bed, their bodies pressed one against the other and Alec squeezed him harder and more fiercely to feel him better against him.

Rubbing against each other was no longer enough with their clothes that hindered their desire, at least not for Magnus, who was already in his underwear and who straightened with a frustrated look to remove Alec's pants. He grabbed his hips to pull on the bulky garment and slid two fingers into his underwear's waistband to remove it at the same time.

Alec's hands immediately wrapped around his wrists and Magnus narrowed his eyes, he couldn't wait.

''You don't need an underwear for what we'll do,'' he explained with a suggestive smile while trying to remove his last clothes which made Alec wince. ''Alexander,'' Magnus sighed as always whenever he had to explain that he should be used to being naked in front of him.

But Alec still froze.

''This is the way you look at me that makes me uncomfortable,'' he muttered, dropping Magnus' wrists gradually.

''The way I look at you?'' Magnus repeated with a raised eyebrow. ''You mean with love?'' he asked with a smirk. ''Oh, it's true that it must be terrible,'' he sarcastically added. ''Get used to it.''

Alec mumbled something incoherent against his shoulder, cheeks on fire, and let him undress him before immediately pressing his body against his. Magnus chuckled when Alec clung to him like a koala and hastened to embrace his body after removing the last piece of fabric. Both of them held their breath when their private part touched and captured the mouth of the other eagerly.

Magnus' hands wandered over his body eagerly, touching his tattoos, his ribs, his hips, his thighs against which he rubbed himself without any restraint, rolling his hips to relieve himself while Alec's hands did the same and ended up on his buttocks that gripped them to increase the pressure of his movement against his groin. They were painfully rubbing against each other, but it wasn't enough, and their hands couldn't satisfy them anymore.

When he took a red condom, he could feel Alec's hesitation when he opened his mouth as if he wanted to ask something but he didn't, and yet Magnus knew what he wanted but wanted him to voice clearly what he had in mind. Next time, he hoped before kissing his temple.

He winced when Alec bit his shoulder and hastened to nibbled his chin and neck, teasingly, to soothe the pain of the penetration before stifling his groan against his shoulder, teeth stuck into his skin, in a loving bite.

Even though, Alec tightened his legs around his waist and slid his hands behind his back to make him move more, he remained tense as he always was and didn't very let go, restraining himself for no reason.

Magnus brushed his lips with his breath, watching him intently and Alec once again tried to not look into his eyes, but it didn't work and for once, stared back at him as if he finally agreed to be looked at. And Magnus enjoyed it, rolling his eyes and staring at his blue eyes and face that he was always trying to hide.

Alec suddenly kissed his chin, and Magnus grabbed his upper lip between his, that he softly kissed and opening his mouth when he felt his tongue brush his lips.

His back and forth movements intensified and accelerated, as the pressure of his hands under Alec's buttocks that they painfully gripped, the mouth pressed against his neck. Alec clutched harder at him, sticking, in turn, his mouth against his shoulder to stifle his groan when he touched a particular spot inside him, which made him smash his body against the mattress with faster and closer hips rolls. He came faster than him and Alec pressed his mouth into the crook of his neck when he finally came in his hand.

Magnus remained on top of him for a while and rested his head in the crook of his neck, short of breath and with half-closed eyes, the skin burning against his. They remained like this, motionless, taking advantage of the warmth of the other and finally, Alec moved and stroked his back with his fingertips in a light gesture. Magnus withdrew, without rolling on the side, before tenderly kissing him on the lips.

Then he got up reluctantly to throw the used condom and went into the bathroom to get some wet cloth to wipe themselves. When he came back, Alec was on the stomach, stroking Chairman Meow.

''Don't fall asleep,'' he said with a grin before laying down and kissing his back. ''I'd rather be the one that you caress,'' he added while wiping his skin with the damp cloth.

Alec turned his head toward him with a little smile and he stroked his belly with small circular movements.

''Happy?'' he asked.

Magnus narrowed his eyes in a please way and stared at him thoughtfully before turning completely toward him, inviting him to do the same. Alec complied, and Magnus hugged him, pressing his burning body against his. His left shoulder was red, purple and bitten in several spots. Magnus wondered if his tattoos would hold on because of being so much fondled.

He softly kissed his face several times, sliding his hands along his ribs and his thighs and Alec lazily kissed him, like a cat who had been cuddled enough, but who was now too tired to return the affection which had been given him. Magnus chuckled and Alec nestled his head in the crook of his neck, and absently caressed Magnus' thigh and hip.

''It bothers you that I'm looking at you as I do?'' Magnus finally asked. ''You're still a little tense.''

Alec didn't answer and kissed his jaw, making Magnus smile and kiss his forehead.

''I'll continue to look at you this way anyhow,'' he murmured. ''I just need you to be used to it that's all.''

''I'll try.''

Magnus lazily smiled and stroked his back.

''Turn off the light Chairman Meow,'' he mumbled when he heard the tabby cat moving.

Alec snorted. ''I'll do it,'' he murmured.

Magnus opened his eyes while Alec stood up and began to search automatically for something to wear, which made him growl, ready to prevent him to snatch any clothes from his hands. Alec frowned, gave up and turned off the light.

''Walk of shame,'' teased Magnus who heard him sigh.

He patiently waited for him to return in the bed, felt the mattress sink and Alec moved around a lot to comfortably settle himself in the bed.

''Settled?'' asked Magnus with amusement.

Alec hummed and he slipped his arm over his chest, on which Alec's arms clung immediately, then he landed his head on his shoulder, lips pressed against it which made the latter tilt his head, his cheek pressed against his hair. Magnus smiled and blinked before nestling closer when Alec stroked his arm.

''Will it last?'' he suddenly whispered. ''Us.''

Magnus frowned, wondering why he was this worried about them.

“We have to make it last,'' he firmly said. ''Swear to me that you'll do your very best, if something is wrong we have to fix it. A relationship requires attention and it needs to be cared for,’’ he mumbled against his shoulder. “As for me, I'm very steady with my feelings. Especially with you.''

He would do everything he could to make it work, feelings needed to be looked after, and he wanted them to last eternally. He could have said that he felt happy with him, happier than he had been with someone else, and that this relationship which was different for Magnus was the good one. It hadn't always been easy, but he wanted it to last.

''How did you know it was love?''

When he had wondered why.

It just happened without any warning, unexpectedly, and especially with a person whom he never thought he would love so much.

''When I wanted you in my bed,'' he simplified, which was also true.

Alec's hands immediately stopped stroking his arm. Magnus chuckled and kissed his shoulder. ''It's more complex than it looks like actually,'' he hastened to say.

''Clearly, you thought I was lame the first time you saw me,'' Alec stated.

''Basically, you intrigued me. And...uh...a lot so I thought about you a lot, but it was obviously not your case, far from it. That's why I had to bait you, make you understand that I existed, but you didn't care. You looked at me with your big eyes saying:  _why is he talking to me suddenly?_   _What does he want? Is he making fun of me?_  But once we started talking, you didn't interpret my signs and my sudden interest for you...I'm pretty sure you thought:  _great, a new friend!_  '' Magnus hurried to say with a huff.

He still wondered why him given than it hadn't exactly been love at first sight. He had been attracted by his good looks, which no one really noticed, and that himself hadn't immediately noticed under all his layers of unconfidence. Alec, who was hiding at all his parties, didn't pretend to have fun when he didn't, and only came to watch over his siblings big enough to look after themselves. Alec was different from the people he usually had to deal with and had appeared when Magnus was feeling empty and needed to take a breath.

Maybe he had been unconsciously attracted to his ill-being and by the fact that he wasn't really here with his distracted look. The fact was that he had noticed something that had drawn him to him as if they were fated to be together. Alec had seemed mysterious and unapproachable whereas he was just socially awkward and not talkative, Magnus had loved this contrast and still did even if his not very talkative side had almost split them for good.

''I intrigued you?'' Alec finally asked.

Magnus nodded, rubbing his cheek against his shoulder. ''You were always at my parties, but you didn't have any fun, and you still came, you were always here. And it was as if you weren't here at the same time, you were there without being there... And then you ignored me,'' he added, biting his shoulder. ''I'm not used to being given the cold-shoulder.''

''I didn't snub you,'' Alec protested.

''Of course not, but you had this inaccessible look as if you were in your bubble. You were always so withdrawn into yourself...so different from your sister and Jace, it may be what intrigued me the most.''

Alec stroked his arm again and Magnus lengthily kissed his shoulder.

''If I hadn't gone after you or if I hadn't told you the attraction I had for you, you never would have looked at me,'' he stated, pensively. ''And without that damned stupid contract with your father, I would have had you sooner and more easily,'' he scowled as if he had struggled against a particularly stubborn enemy. ''You can't know how relieved I am that you have no more excuses to escape me now.''

''Me too,'' Alec whispered in a strangled voice before clearing his throat.

Magnus' lips brushed his cheek and Alec captured his lips for a deep kiss.

''Just in case you wouldn't know,'' Magnus teased against his lips. ''I love you.''

''Thank you,'' Alec stammered with embarrassment.

''I don't want a thank you I want an I love you,'' he reclaimed by clutching him as if he was a cuddly toy.

''I love you too,'' Alec mumbled.

Magnus' grin widened against his neck and took a deep breath. It was the perfect time to talk about it now. ''Then, why don't you want to move in with me?''

He had hoped when Izzy, Max and Jace had broken his bed -and he had thanked them for their generous act- that it would change something but not really, Alec didn't came more often at his place but had preferred to sleep in a bed of cushions until he bought a new bed.

He really seemed to love his crappy apartment.

''I don't know...I think I'm not ready.''

''Not ready or scared?'' asked Magnus.

''Not ready because I'm scared?'' Alec suggested with a wince.

Magnus deeply sighed ''Why?''

''I like to be alone,'' he murmured awkwardly.

''You mean you need an alone time? I can give you that if that's what you really want,'' Magnus hastened to say.

''Not that,'' Alec protested. ''I mean more like my own space...and to be alone sometimes I guess,'' he grumbled.

Alec was used to live alone, Magnus already had guessed that it wouldn't be easy to make him live with him but he had hoped that it would have changed with the recent events and the fact that they were closer than ever. Alec reminded him of Chairman Meow when he had adopted him.

''It's amazing how much you remind me of Chairman Meow sometimes,'' he marveled. ''Don't worry I'm used to it.''

''Magnus,'' Alec sighed.

''Let's give it a try, stay one week and decide.''

''One week?''

''One week.''

''What if I'm boring?''

''Chairman Meow isn't boring,'' he said, seriously believing that Alec who was like a cat wouldn't be boring at all.

''I'm talking about me.''

''I'll make you stay, you'll see,'' Magnus stated with confidence.

''You really want to be awakened by an alarm clock every day?'' asked Alec surprised and a little suspiciously.

Magnus frowned, he didn't care as he would feel so much better to have him by his sides every morning. ''I don't care, I want you here,'' he finally murmured, especially if Robert's shadow was still haunting him.

Alec was beginning to change little by little and was more and more letting go even though it was still not entirely. It was better than nothing and Magnus was happy to witness all these changes and proud to see that Alec seemed less withdrawn and more smiling. He no longer frowned as much, looked less worried, less gloomy and less distant.

And Magnus wouldn't let anyone destroy that.

Alec was now finally living for himself and it hadn't been easy, Magnus wasn't going to let somebody destroy what he had built. Alec was tough and strong but some wounds wouldn't heal completely. Magnus knew that he felt guilty for hitting his own father and for telling him that he hated him.

Because obviously, a part of him still loved him even though he was aware of all the evil he had done to him. But the worst was that Alec thought he had also done some by not matching his father's expectations. As soon as Robert was involved it was a never-ending spiral of guilt, hate, love, sadness, lack of self-esteem, which was terribly harmful for Alec but also for Magnus who didn't want him to go through _that_ ever again and just at the mere thought of _him._

But Alec was still thinking about him, even if he had been disowned, belittled, humiliated, hated, disinherited and manipulated for selfish purposes.

Magnus couldn't help him, he couldn't control his mind, but he fiercely kept watching over him to make sure that nothing would affect his happiness. And most of the time it worked even if Robert's shadow was still palpable. A shadow that Magnus wanted to exorcise and eradicate from the existence of Alec.

Until now, he hadn't really wanted to get involved with this man but maybe he should and the sooner the better.

*

The trial period began very quickly and Magnus was ready to do everything to make it perfect so that Alec could officially move in his apartment which was more than ready to welcome him, even Chairman Meow was more than ready.

He had a lot of things to teach him during this period given that Alec seemed to be scared to suffocate by their cohabitation. Magnus also had to learn again some couple things and was slightly nervous as well even if he was more familiar with that.

They basically had to learn to respect the space of the other, learn to argue, communicate, and take care of the well being of the other and of them as a couple.

A lot of work in perspective but Magnus couldn't wait, especially to give him all the books that he had found thanks to Max and Ragnor when Alec would accept to move in for good.

He couldn't wait and widely grinned at him while handing him an orange juice. Alec took it with narrowed eyes.

''I know what you're trying to do.''

Magnus' grin widened. ''It's only the product of your imagination, I don't need to entice you.''

Alec slightly smiled. ''Then why did you buy books that you don't even like and baked cookies ?''

''Promotion and I want to fatten you.''

Alec stared at him. ''Really ?''

''Really...but just like that, what I'm doing, is it working?"

Alec did his best to not smile, but miserably failed. ''It's not bad for now,'' he admitted while taking a sip at his orange juice.

Magnus pinched his cheek and bent down to catch Chairman Meow. ''When do you see your mother?'' he asked while going in the kitchen.

''Tomorrow.''

''She must be so happy for winning.''

''Yeah.''

''You really don't want to come with me to this party? Even to keep an eye on Jace and Izzy?''

''No,'' he said while moving closer to put his glass in the sink.

''And when do you introduce me to Lydia?'' he finally asked.

Alec winced. ''She's very busy.''

''That's why you went to eat with her the other day, she doesn't want to meet me ?''

She was his friend and he really wanted to meet her but if she didn't like him and didn't want to he couldn't force her but he couldn't help feeling disappointed.

''I'll ask her, later,'' Alec mumbled.

''Tell her that I'm not that scary.''

Alec smiled. ''I'll try to convince her.''

''You have to,'' he said before kissing him and heading toward the entrance.

''You have to work today ?'' Alec asked with a frown.

Magnus blinked. ''Kind of, why ? You'll miss me ? I won't be long you know,'' he teased.

It'll just depend on Robert and their meeting but Alec didn't have to know. Magnus blew him a kiss and went out. His visit to Robert Lightwood was totally improvised and he didn't even know if he would be at Idris. He could have asked Max but didn't in order to avoid any questions.

Besides he had to be in a rotten mood after the divorce that had made him lose half of his fortune and Max. Magnus didn't necessarily have chosen the right day for his surprise visit but he couldn't bear anymore to be followed, not when Alec was with him.

Surprisingly, he wasn't followed when he went there or simply didn't notice the spy. Robert might have replaced his little guy with the mustache. He wasn't nervous but rather impatient that it ended, he entered with his head held high in the building in which Alec had worked, giving the impression of knowing where he was going as if he was a regular in order to not be stopped.

A middle-aged woman conservatively dressed near the elevator stared at him and narrowed her eyes. Magnus knew that his outfit could surprise more than one.

''May I help you ?'' she asked.

"Do you know where I can find Robert Lightwood?"

"Do you have an appointment with him?"

'' No, it's a surprise visit, '' he lightly said. ''And it's important,'' he added more seriously.

She stared at him for a long time and pulled out her phone. ''And you are.. ?''

''Magnus Bane, he knows who I am.''

In front of the elevator, he patiently waited for her to call her boss to check if she was allowed to tell him where he could find him.

''Mr Lightwood, I hope I'm not bothering you...,'' she said in an extremely polite voice while looking at the ceiling. ''Yes, there's a man who wants to see you...no, he doesn't have an appointment but he says that you know him...Magnus Bane.''

Magnus looked at her, waiting for an answer and really didn't know if Robert would accept to receive him and apparently she was also expecting an answer which wasn't coming.

''Last floor, the last door on the left,'' she finally said after hanging up.

Magnus smiled. "Thank you," he said before pressing the elevator button and the doors opened.

Last floor, last door on the left, he repeated several times inwardly. He stared at his hands and fingernails, trying to not think about anything to keep his composure. No one else used the elevator so he quickly arrived on the last floor and quickly went on the left. The corridor was huge, more imposing than the ground floor. He walked past several rooms, doors, eyes focused on the last door of the corridor, wondering where Alec had worked and how he hadn't felt locked up between these four walls while being trapped into the family business.

He knocked three times and waited a few seconds before coming in. Robert Lightwood, in a black suit, was looking at the city through the bay window as if he had been waiting for this moment. He didn't turn around. Magnus closed the heavy door behind him and glanced quickly at the large but simple and modern office.

''It's been a long time,'' he said.

Officially they hadn't seen each other since the airport and he perfectly remembered the way he had looked at him and everything he had said. Robert slowly turned around, his hands still on his back and harshly stared at him.

''Not long enough,'' he dryly said.

Magnus almost snorted and tried to hide his smile. ''I think you already know the purpose of my visit, I won't be long anyway,'' he hastened to say after moving closer.

Robert still looked at him as if he was a disgusting insect. ''No I don't get it.''

Magnus narrowed his eyes, he didn't look that great, he looked like someone who had lost several million and Max's custody. No wonder he looked like that. Inwardly, he congratulated Maryse Lightwood.

''I don't get why your wi...I mean ex-wife would have someone watch me,'' he declared while moving closer. ''And I know that I'm not the one you're interested in... That's why I'm politely asking you to stop, I don't necessarily appreciate that someone spies on my dates with my boyfriend,'' he dryly added.

Robert without blinking continued to look at him the same way. Magnus stared at his nose and noticed with disappointment that it wasn't twisted or anything like that despite the fact that Alec had broken it.

"Did you just come to tell me that?" he finally asked as it was the stupidest thing to do.

Magnus frowned. ''I'm just here to warn you, stop clinging to him, it's useless, he's gone, you've made him leave. So what's the point to spy on me? To see how he's doing? Is that why you came to see him last time before hitting him?''

Robert's lips twitched and he glared at him as if he had exceeded the limits. ''If you've finished you can go, you know where the exit is,'' he spat before going to sit behind his desk.

Magnus took a deep breath and walking away, cursing a thousand times this man inwardly. But Robert didn't let him reach the door.

''Before meeting you he did everything I asked him to do,'' he accused him with a deep, rumbling anger in his voice.

Magnus stopped and stared at him with a frown. He wondered if it was the reason why Maryse didn't like him, was like Robert's one, because he had stolen Alec from them. He had stolen the perfect son, the perfect little soldier who made his father happy, which made then the mother happy to see her husband happy.

''Because you're a manipulative bastard who thought that exploiting his son was the best thing to do,'' Magnus retorted in an obvious tone. ''Alec has always considered that his parents' happiness came before his, fortunately he eventually understood that it wasn't a life and that he should go towards those who love him for what he is and not towards those who barely loved for what they wished he was, "he hissed.

Robert sat up, his eyes narrowed and his face distorted with anger. He was intimidating but Magnus could be just as much.

''You don't know any...''

''Oh I know,'' he cut him off. ''I know everything, the contracts were very clear and have enlightened me. I must also thank you for making Alec like this and for atrophying him emotionally, this way he couldn't accept himself. You destroyed him and just because he's gay.''

''I did it for his own good,'' Robert hissed. ''Everyone would have stared at him and pointed their finger at him, the heir of the Lightwoods gay, they would have all laugh!''

 _All that because he cared about what people say,_ Magnus thought with anger.

''Oh so you were just scared that your son would be laughed at and so you've decided to make him so ashamed of himself just to protect him from the others ?'' he sarcastically said. ''Alec is smart, even if you've convinced him that he wasn't just to control hi...''

"To be perfect, Idris needs a perfect businessman !" he roared.

''He could have been if you hadn't constantly belittled him!'' hissed back Magnus. ''Alec is smart! He's not perfect, no one is, but I'm sure that he had potential to inherit your business, he just needed to be trained to the top and not to the bottom! And you really think that being gay would have prevented him from reaching the top? You're the one who has prevented him! Nobody would have judged him, not like you did! And what if he had openly been gay, do you sincerely think that he would have shouted it from the rooftops, each time, at each meetings ? Do straight men do it? No. That's not even something you can tell! Not everyone accepts it yet, but you didn't even leave him time to accept himself,'' he said with disdain.

''Just looking at you is enough to understand what you are,'' Robert spat while staring at his face and hands.

Magnus coldly smiled. ''Then why were you not more wary of me earlier? I was there, a threat for Alec and you were convinced that I was straight...,'' he murmured. ''Did you really believe Maryse each time she summarized the reports ? Especially after making Alec sign the second contract ? The fiancée clause appeared for a specific reason, Alec had walked away from the right path and I don't think that Jace and Clary were the main reason...am I wrong ?''

Robert clenched his teeth so hard that Magnus got afraid that he would break his teeth, not that he cared but he didn't want to see that.

"And all your allusions after Izzy's dance show was to make me react... you knew that Alec was seeing someone and that it could only be a man, you just didn't want him to grow up."

Robert scoffed. ''You're rambling,'' he coldly said while shaking his head.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. ''Am I wrong ?'' he asked again. ''It makes sense, Alec has always been a good boy, despite what the contracts said, always doing what you asked him to do, without protesting much and you have big expectations for him, you imagine a ready-made future for the little Alec and you focus entirely on him to make him the perfect heir. You have controlled his entire life but never expected that he could prefer men over women and when you've noticed his sexual orientation, thanks to Jace, you've decided to correct that because besides this big big flaw he is perfect for Idris. But, in order to keep him under control you've said that you're not happy, disappointed and belittle him to make him feel like a nobody, so that he feels guilty and that he does everything to make you love him again,'' Magnus coldly said.

Robert didn't react, as if he was analyzing what he had just heard, still staring at him with his cold eyes.

''Alec is a good boy who values his family so much, he felt guilty towards his siblings to monopolize your attention because he's the eldest so he wants to do everything to make them happy and so that they have money since that's all you have decided to give to Izzy and Jace. So he accepts everything and you are happy. Alec is under your control and nobody knows. But then,'' he said with a huge grin. ''I get on stage very slowly and you didn't see me coming. What did you expect ? Alec is good-looking and attractive, it would have happened sooner or later, except that Alec would have forgotten the contract, his obligations and would begin to accept himself and it's not part of the ready-made future that you've imagined for him so there's a second contract with a fiancée.''

''And it didn't do much,'' Robert finally and lowly said while glaring at him.

''It did,'' Magnus dryly retorted. ''We broke up because of that but mainly because of you. But I have to say that thanks to that he opened his eyes and he tried to man up for his own good but still didn't really dare as he was scared that you would disinherited his siblings. He was still under your control until he said stop, and you didn't like it. Alec had enough and didn't seem to be afraid anymore, thanks to his mother I have to say, so you felt betrayed or whatever and said bullshit about Izzy and Jace as if they were the apple of your eyes so that Alec feels rejected because he was fed up with you. You couldn't stand that he was trying to escape from you and your control so you took everything away from him, you had no right to dispossess him of absolutely all his belongings by the way, and he let you do as you wished... It shows that you've never really considered Alec like an adult, you've disowned him just to make him pay... And I agree maybe it happened thanks to me, so you can hate me because I have stolen your precious son from you, I don't give a fuck,'' he slyly said. ''If everyone around you is gone there's a reason, did you seriously think that Izzy and Jace would have jumped for joy for the heir's position? They were rejected all their lives and never had the attention they wished to have but they all loved each other even though they've been jealous of Alec. You destroyed your family but you made them stronger without you, I frankly hesitate to applaud you.''

He hadn't mentioned Max since he was a little bit special because of his age and the fact that he was the youngest. Nor did he mention Maryse as a trampled woman and about her depression from which she was slightly getting away.

Robert applauded him with three claps and a condescending gaze. ''You're wrong, completely wrong, but it's normal from someone who has no background and no parents, it's not like you can understand the meaning of a family.''

Magnus stared at back at him. _Really?_ he thought. He was twenty-nine, his past solidly anchored behind him that couldn't harm him anymore.

''I think that I understand this word better than you as I intend to make one with Alexander, based on mutual consent. Maybe my reasoning is completely wrong but not my judgment, just look at you you're alone now, completely by yourself. They all left, just as Alec left, they followed him. It was predictable. ''

Knocks at the door made them both jump and they looked at each other with animosity.

''We've finished, he'll leave you one day, wait and see,'' he dryly said while looking at the woman conservatively dressed and made a head movement towards Magnus who glared at him. ''And you forget one thing, Alec let me have control over his life,'' he reminded him in a whisper. ''He agreed.''

"You don't understand anything," Magnus lamented with disgust. ''And you know him very badly,'' he hastened to say when the woman moved closer to lead him outside. ''Anyway, I just came here to say that you have to stay away from him. I don't want him to forgive you, nobody does, but I know that it's going to happen one day so stay away from him,'' he repeated while following her.

''Alexander has always valued his family more than anything else,'' only said Robert while picking up the phone on his desk.

''You're no longer his family,'' Magnus mumbled while going out from his office, Robert's eyes still on him, until he disappeared from his sight.

He was surprised that they had been able to speak and that they had politely listened to each other, without using their fists. Obviously his divorce had annihilated him more than he let it appear.

The woman shut the door behind him and led him towards the elevator while he was dwelling on the conversation they just had had. It went better than expected, although Robert hadn't been really reactive but rather very condescending and preoccupied. He couldn't have said everything he wanted and wished he could have said what he had said differently, he frowned and took a deep breath, eager to go back home.

Coming here hadn't been a good idea finally, he began to regret.

''How's Alec ?'' suddenly asked the woman in a whisper.

Magnus blinked and looked up with a frown. ''What ?''

''I thought you were a friend of his,'' she said before apologizing.

''He's fine,'' hastened to say Magnus. ''Did you work with him ?''

''Not really,'' she said. ''Mr Lightwood always sent me to get him whenever he wanted to speak to him in his office. How's he doing ?''

''Great, he has a new job and a new life.''

She nodded. ''He was very quiet and he was doing pretty well in any department even if his father decided to make him change post at any turn.''

"Was he well cared?" asked Magnus, following her in the elevator.

"It depended on the boss's mood who forgot that he had to treat his son like any other employee, I remember that he had yelled at him for a little mistake he had made on the accounting software, a tiny mistake, the next day he had to make photocopies and was probably thinking that he had led the company to bankruptcy with that mistake.''

Magnus sadly smiled and kept a vague memory of that event, Alec had taken books with him during this period.

''How's the boss recently ?'' he asked.

"Everyone knows that he's going through a rough time with his wife, that's why he doesn't look great and that he looks so weak."

It explained why he had been a bit spineless. Magnus nodded and they got to the ground floor.

''Can you tell Alec that his father's secretary wishes him to succeed in everything he undertakes and that I'm glad he's doing great ?''

Magnus smiled. ''I'll tell him.''

She smiled and led him to the exit.

''It's okay you can tell him that I've definitely left his kingdom,'' he scoffed. ''Good luck,'' he wished her. ''And thanks.''

She watched him leave with that same professional smile that wasn't as cold as it seemed to be and when Magnus turned around, she was gone. He couldn't explain how relieved he was that someone had cared and still cared about Alec, and had payed attention to him when he had worked for Idris. But the latter probably didn't know.

He hailed a taxi in which he hastened to go inside with a sigh of relief. He was done, completely done with the Lightwoods. They were only thinking about themselves thinking that it wouldn't harm any of their children. Magnus clearly preferred to be an orphan and without a family honestly than having relatives like them. He snorted when he thought back about what Robert had told him, this man was slyly childish and he didn't doubt for a moment that Maryse was thinking like him.

He had a family now, before there was only Chairman Meow, now there was Alec, besides his friends. And with Alec, there were Izzy, Jace and Max, and Clary and Simon, in a way. His family was growing, he never really thought that besides Ragnor and Catarina, his oldest friends, and Chairman Meow there would be other people and especially Alec.

His circle was relatively small and he hadn't really intended to enlarge it because of the failures of his previous relationships.

But with Alec it could last, he wanted them to last.

He suddenly thought about Jace's pink hair and the allusion to the marriage that Izzy had made, his throat tightened and his heart raced. He had to go home and right now.

He felt better yet, freed from a weight but afflicted by another: Robert was convinced that he had done what was good for Alec. He was convinced of this and wouldn't question himself. He would never apologize, would never ask for forgiveness and would never accept it.

And yet, he had wanted to keep an eye on Alec through him.

Robert was a paradox on his own.

He sighed and closed his eyes, he was relatively late and had stayed longer than expected in Idris, as soon as he would go in he would hug Alec and Chairman Meow. He needed one or two hugs, maybe more.

When he got home, Alec was cooking and sadly for him, didn't wear an apron and wasn't naked either. Chairman Meow who was in the sink was staring at his every moves with narrowed eyes.

''Next time, wear an apron without anything underneath,'' Magnus declared with a huge grin while moving closer.

Alec turned around with a frown. ''It sounds like something you would do.''

His frowned deepened and his body stiffened when Magnus suddenly hugged him, nestling his head into his his neck and taking a deep breath. Alec softly ran a hand through his hair that he gently stroked before hugging him back with the same softness.

''What's wrong ?'' he asked.

''I just wanted a hug,'' Magnus casually said. It didn't sound suspicious, right ? ''By the way, I wish you success in everything you do and that you're doing great,'' he hastened to say to not forget the words of the secretary from Idris, but he couldn't really tell him that he had gone there and so couldn't directly tell him her kind words without betraying himself.

Alec stopped hugging him and looked at him suspiciously. ''Something happened ?''

''Hug me,'' he claimed while he was turning around to check the simmering water.

Alec patted his thigh and stared at him with narrowed eyes.

''The other day, why did you ask me if our relationship would last ?'' he murmured while adding some salt and before kissing his shoulder.

''I just wondered if one day I'd be part of your past and the old relationships you want to forget,'' he mumbled, turning his head so he couldn't see his face. ''But you said that feelings should be looked after...''

Magnus was still staring at him. ''You won't be part of my past, you're my present and my future,'' he firmly said which made Alec blink. ''Does that mean that now you're confident about us ?''

Alec flinched when he felt his hands under his t-shirt but didn't answer.

"Alexander?" Magnus softly insisted.

He cleared his throat and still avoided to look at his face. ''You're my first so I can't really tell for now but I hope that we'll be together for a long time,'' he awkwardly said before adding a _stop touching me, I can't focus._

But Magnus squeezed him harder against him following his clumsy love declaration that made him widely smile.

''I love you,'' he blurted out, rubbing his nose against his cheek, and against his arms he could feel Alec's heart beating really fast.

''I know,'' he murmured before adding in a whisper. ''Me too.''

''I know,'' Magnus said.

And since his surprise visit to Robert, no one was following him anymore.

*

Max grunted as he lifted one of the boxes filled with books, while Magnus was trying to build the shelf. He was doing pretty well until Chairman Meow decided to play with the screws. Annoyed, he grabbed his cat and locked him in his room.

''He was cute when he was fat, '' Max said.

Magnus snorted. ''Even now he's still cute.''

''Do you need help for the shelf?''

''No, you brought all the boxes?'' he asked when he saw that he had come up with everything on his own. ''You're stronger than you look like,'' he marveled with a grin.

''I'm thirteen not three,'' grumbled Max before beginning to take them out. ''How much did you spend for all of them?''

''Alec's happiness doesn't have a price,'' he stated with a grin while screwing a nut and bolt.

"It's clear that he'll be happy when he'll see them,'' Max murmured.

With a satisfied sigh, Magnus looked at the shelf he had just put together. All it had to do was standing upright and it wasn't the hardest thing to do. The bookshelf was simple and wooden, and didn't really fit with the rest of the apartment but it had been the only one to be big enough and that could fit in the living room.

As soon as Alec had left to work this morning, Magnus had called Max to the rescue to help him with all these books -that they had been looking for- at Ragnor's place. When Max had heard that it would be a surprise for Alec's moving in, he had rushed right away even though he thought they had already and officially moved in together a week ago.

''It was just a trial period,'' had explained Magnus.

''Did you met the conditions ?'' Max had asked with a huge smile.

''Orange juice and cookies have worked in my favor,'' had admitted Magnus.

He shifted the shelf on the right and stepped back to see if it was centered.

"He put his books in a specific order?" he asked while picking up some.

''Yeah but it doesn't matter, he'll put them like he wants later.''

"It'd take me a lifetime to read all of them," he sighed.

Max smiled and looked with interest at a book with a golden cover.

''How's your mother by the way ?'' he politely asked.

''Better, a lot better, but she's melancholic, I wonder sometimes if she regrets the divorce.''

 _She has nothing to regret,_ thought Magnus.

"You know, you can come when you want the weekends as you used to do before at Alec's place," he said. "My apartment is much better than the rat hole he had, don't you think?"

Max grinned. ''And his bed.''

''It wasn't a bed,'' corrected Magnus while taking an enormous encyclopedia.

"But I'll bother you, right ? If I went so much to Alec's place before it was because he had no one.''

Magnus looked down. ''Are you referring to the time when you surprised us? I swear that we won't do anything in front of your innocent eyes.''

Max frowned and slightly winced. ''Okay, thank you then.''

''You're welcome.''

Max stared at him with a slight smile and bent down to take more books.

 

Magnus was so eager to show Alec the surprise that he went to get him at FancyB and stamped impatiently in front of the building. Max had gone home after helping him, watching a movie and playing with Chairman Meow.

Ragnor didn't want him to mention his help to Alec as he had only kept everything in his house, Magnus had reminded him that he had helped to find some of the books too, but Ragnor didn't want to.

Magnus didn't get it but agreed. His grin widened when he saw Alec looking at him with apprehension. He didn't pay attention to his colleagues who came out almost at the same time and especially to Victor who had thought that Alec had been beaten by his lover when he had gone to work after his fight with Robert.

Victor narrowed his eyes and stared at him to make sure he wasn't a suspicious person whereas Magnus grabbed Alec's face, when the latter kissed him, to deepen it, then kissed the space between his furrowed eyebrows, frowned with worry and apprehension.

''You'll love it,'' he tried to reassure him.

Everybody loved surprise but strangely, Alec seemed frightened to see what he had prepared for him. He smiled at Victor and waved at him before eagerly pulling Alec by the hand.

''It's a party?'' he asked with worry.

''No...you thought I would do something this predictable?''

''Yes.''

Magnus huffed, falsely offended while Alec was trying to guess the surprise, but the more he was trying to guess the more he slowed down and Magnus had to pull him hard as if he was a reluctant child.

''You'll like it,'' he sighed.

Alec suspiciously looked at him opening the door which widened his grin and made a small smile appeared on Alec's lips.

''After you,'' Magnus said with a gallant gesture.

Alec went inside and took Chairman Meow in his arms when the tabby cat welcomed him with a blink. Magnus who was waiting his reaction impatiently looked at him staring carefully around him looking for the surprise that was rather imposing.

Alec finally noticed the bookshelf filled with books in the living room. He remained stoic, frowning in front of their familiarity and number, his mouth slightly open and he let Chairman Meow go who rubbed his fur against Magnus' legs.

With a face full of expectation, he put a hand on his waist, waiting for a reaction and to bring him back to Earth. Alec slowly turned his head toward him with a frown and then looked back at all these books. Obviously he was at a loss for words and stared at his books more closely.

''A certain little brother helped me,'' Magnus explained softly when he saw he saw his face full of questions. ''But he didn't remember everything, and I know that you had much older editions, but I didn't find them all.''

Alec was still staring at the books stunned but with a pleased expression, Magnus knew it made him incredibly happy. Collecting so much books had cost time and money and Magnus knew perfectly well what these books had represented for him: a way to escape from the family pressure and to cope with his harsh reality he had been stuck within. They had been a support for him and Robert had taken that from him in a flash.

Until the end he would have tried to destroy his son but Magnus was here to make up with everything Robert had taken from him.

“I prepare it with Max since we saw you no longer had your books, they were at Ragnor's place all this time,'' Magnus added before kissing his temple.

Alec immediately and feverishly embraced him to kiss him and whispered a  _thank you_  that Magnus muffled with his lips, before slipping a hand against his cheek and the other behind his neck and he kissed him back languidly.

''I told you you'd like it,'' Magnus murmured in a hotshot tone, more than happy to have the reaction he had expected.

''I love you,'' Alec blurted out against his neck, squeezing him harder against him.

Magnus lifted his head and looked at him in a very please way after hearing these words and kissed his nose. ''I know,'' he murmured.

''It must have cost you a fortune,''Alec mumbled before kissing his chin lightly and Magnus narrowed his eyes in a please way.

''That's the least of my worries,'' he said, looking at him straight in the eye. ''But if you want to pay me back that much, you can pay with your body,'' he added casually, hoping that what he wanted to happen would happen and straight away.

Alec's smile widened against his chin and he kissed him more passionately.

And the thing happened.

*

Magnus could see that Alec was still not confident about many things. He didn't, of course, expect him to be so immediately and did everything he could to make him accept the fact that he could be happy without expecting everything to be destroyed in an instant.

Robert was no longer there, Magnus had more or less dealt with him and only Catarina and Ragnor knew, as he hadn't been really sure that he had done the right thing.

"You can handle your mother-in-law too," Ragnor had seriously joked.

His friends perfectly knew that he would never be accepted into the family because he was a gutter rat. But he had to put things into perspective, Maryse didn't like him but did nothing if not expressing her dissatisfaction with their relationship, and Alec superbly ignored her.

She perfectly knew that if she wanted Alec to stay in touch with her she couldn't do anything to him. Magnus had the upper-hand and she knew it.

But deep inside, he just hoped that one day she would tolerate him without any hatred in her eyes.

Even though, Alec was still worried about life in general, he was getting better, smiled more and he could say the same about Izzy and Jace who were doing well as well on their own but who hesitated more and more to see Maryse again.

They were going to give in, Magnus knew it, and he knew that it wouldn't be for money. He knew by Clary that the four of them were invited to a meal at home but that they hadn't decided to go yet.

Magnus knew that Maryse would get what she wanted, she always did it even if it took time and on that, him and her were very similar.

Alas for him, his efforts were almost ruined when they left the movie theater. Max who had spent the weekend with them had suggested to go out, insisting on the fact that he could tag along, which had made him very happy.

None of them had expected to see Robert and his former mistress in the street. Magnus had immediately stared at them, both of them looked like they were ready to walk towards them and Alec had this indecipherable look, which had upset Magnus. He didn't know that look, had never seen it on Alec who looked like an abandoned and lonely child looking for his father's love and acceptance.

Magnus had immediately taken Max by the shoulders and Alec by the hand to take them with him to one of his favorite restaurants. But the damage was done. Max quickly recovered from seeing them and spoke about the movie animatedly while Alec remained silent throughout the meal, barely reacting to what they were saying.

It was as if Magnus could see the after-effects, the ones he was trying to make disappear every day. Gently, he pressed his knee under the table and Alec blinked before looking at him with a slight frown.

He was still waiting to be accepted and loved for who he was, couldn't help but notice Magnus, who couldn't do anything but wait for it to pass. He exchanged a worried look with Max and tried to make Alec smile.

He succeeded but it hadn't been easy.

*

Alec heaved a sigh when he talked about Lydia.

''Magnus, she's busy, I'll tell you when she'll be able to come over.''

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''Does she hate me ?''

''She doesn't, she's just scared of you.''

Magnus looked up at him with a frown but relaxed when he saw his smile.

''She's busy and a little shy, you all want to meet her around a meal, even I would be frightened.''

Magnus snorted and followed him with the eyes when he went to isolate himself to work. He stretched his legs on the coffee table and grabbed the book Alec was reading before reading the summary with curiosity. When he saw the piece of paper stuck between several pages, he suddenly had an idea and a good one.

He was thinking about it for a while without daring to do it. He pulled out a condom from his pocket and replaced the bookmark with the little square. He didn't always have condoms on him and it was just a coincidence.

He had noticed during their sexual intercourses that Alec still didn't dare to take the lead, he wanted to, Magnus could see it but he just didn't dare to ask. So he decided to help him a little by putting some condoms in the bedroom but it hadn't worked, he hoped that this time it would work.

And maybe he would finally dare to completely surrender between his arms.

With a little smile, he began to daydream and stroke the belly of Chairman Meow when he stuck his little body against his hip and put a paw on his hand. He was seriously thinking about buying handcuffs for fun, just to tame Alec completely so that he finally let go. He wasn't very into that but just imagining Alec handcuffed turned him on. It could work and he would be completely at his mercy, Magnus could already imagine it.

After a while Alec came back and sat next to him with a sigh. Magnus grabbed his knee with an amused smile and a comforting gesture, waiting for him to open his book with impatience.

Alec didn't notice that the piece of paper was no longer inside at first but when he noticed, he frowned and opened his book. He didn't react that much and just stared at the condom before looking at him with a jaded air.

Magnus smiled and kissed him, hoping that this time it would work. He wanted to hear him say that he would do him. He nibbled his lips and tried to entice him while Chairman Meow walked away.

''I'd like to be the one to use it,'' he managed to say against his cheek.

Magnus blinked as he didn't expect him to be this straightforward. _The day had come._

''I never thought that this day would come,'' he marveled with wide eyes and too enthusiastically. ''Then I entrust you my body, just don't mess with it,'' he hastened to add. ''I like it a lot, especially my behind.''

Alec stared at him as if he was wondering if being forward was great or not.

''Come here if you want to do me,'' Magnus teased while pulling him to him with a grin.

Alec was soft, he always was and Magnus couldn't say the same about him. He had been rather aggressive and too passionate. which had seemed to have scared Alec a little who hadn't expected to be bitten, scratched, pinched and tightened this much.

In the beginning it was just to take revenge for Alec's magic kiss which had made him come faster than expected. But seeing Alec above him, his thin body and his tattoos...he had gotten carried away, especially when he had tried to satisfy him by every means. He had taken advantage of it and had asked for some things that still embarrassed him, like looking at him right in the eyes and kissing him on the mouth.

Alec had complied but as expected still didn't let go even if he had enjoyed himself. Magnus had led him, directed his hips with intent gestures to make him know where to give him pleasure, and hadn't hesitated to voice what he had loved. Alec had then kissed his chin and unlike him had withdrawn immediately, which had meant no cuddles or anything like that.

Magnus had then captured him in his arms to prevent him from leaving despite his body which he had passionately bruised with his teeth, tight cuddles and his too demanding hands. Alec then had stayed into his arms while he was kissing his shoulders, collarbones and neck.

He finally and slightly let him go before curling against him while holding him firmly pressed against him.

''Did you feel good?'' he asked against his purplish shoulder.

Alec glanced at him. ''Yeah, I just didn't expect you to be so...passionate.''

''Sorry about that, I got carried away,'' he murmured while gently stroking his back and saw how passionate he had been with the scratches on his back, buttocks and thighs.

He winced and kissed the tattoo he had on his back.

''What about you?'' Alec murmured.

Magnus grinned against his shoulder, kissing the damp skin and the black lines. ''Next time if you tease me again I'll bite harder.''

''Are you talking about the magic kiss?'' asked Alec with a frown.

''I didn't want to cum immediately and you...''

''I did what you did to me.''

Alec seemed to be better with his tongue, way better than him.

''The student has surpassed the master,'' he murmured in an amused tone. ''I especially loved what you did with your tongue and...''

''Magnus,'' Alec protested with red cheeks and he sat up, hiding his face with his hands.

''And your hips rolls, you were so sexy,'' he carried on with a wide grin before kissing his arm.

Alec hastened to stand up to throw the condom in the bin and tried to avoid his stare full of love but it didn't work. Magnus contentedly and lazily stretched his body, and winced. Love could be painful.

*

Magnus did his best to hide his bruised wrists by the handcuffs he had recently broken. Alec didn't really like being tied up but was more enthusiastic when he was as it had prevent him to scratch, pinch and tighten him too hard.

It had been fun but frustrating to not be able to touch him as well so he had broken them and scratch, pinch and tighten Alec too much who didn't seem more traumatize than usual.

Catarina and Ragnor didn't notice anything, and Magnus thoughtfully looked at the tie that Ragnor was wearing. It looked better than handcuffs, he could choose the color to go with Alec's skin, and already imagined everything they could do with it. It seemed to be a great idea to use that in bed.

Ragnor frowned when he saw his grin.

''What?'' he asked while cutting his steak.

''Thanks,'' Magnus simply said before taking a sip at his wine.

And Catarina noticed the mark on his wrist, she politely looked away before staring at Ragnor's tie with a little smile.

Alec and Magnus' closet was now filled with ties that none of them was wearing. They just had found another way to use them, and they were very resistant. Magnus would have never thought that Alec would be so good at tying knots and that he would be as good at undoing them.

But fortunately for him Alec didn't often win at heads or tails.

*

He was finally going to meet Lydia Branwell, when Izzy, Jace and Max knew that they had insisted to be here as well to meet her at the same time. It was not really expected and Magnus who knew she was already very nervous to meet him, would be even more to meet Alec's siblings.

Izzy and Jace naturally invaded his apartment, as if they were in a conquered territory, unlike Max who had politely waited for him to invite him to come in. Magnus had fondly ruffled his hair.

Everything was ready, only her was missing and they all tried to reassure Alec, none of them will try to scare her. At his face, they could guess that they had already scared her.

Then, she arrived and Alec hastened to open the door not without staring at them. ''Don't look at her this way,'' he said with a frown before opening the door.

Jace rolled his eyes and Magnus went closer in order to greet her. He kept a safe distance between Alec and him, in order to not intimidate her and heard Lydia distinctly whisper: ''I'm so nervous that I want to throw up.''

''After if you want,'' Alec whispered back.

Magnus stepped forwards and greeted her with a smile. Lydia, surprised to see him, let out a squeal and winced. She wasn't tall, her hair was tied into a long braid, she was pretty but looked really intimidated. He wondered if he really looked that frightening, according to Alec yes he could and apparently for her too. Besides, he had had a reason to be angry at that time, he had seen his boyfriend spending a pleasant evening with his fiancée. No wonder he had hated her at the moment and had showed it.

''Good evening,'' he cheerfully greeted her over Alec's shoulder. ''I'm glad you were finally able to come.''

It had been several weeks since he wanted to meet her but she was a busy person.

''Yeah good evening,'' she managed to mumble.

''You can come in,'' he teased her.

Lydia strangely looked a lot like Alec with her suspicious attitude, she looked like a little mouse who had just fallen into a trap full of cats.

 _We won't eat you,_ thought Magnus who smiled at Alec.

Everyone greeted her, impatient to meet her, and Magnus kept staring at her. He wanted to talk to her in private and knew that it wouldn't be easy will all the Lightwoods around.

Lydia answered their questions, smiled and was lovely but she carefully avoided looking at him as if she knew he wanted to talk to her but needed time to prepare mentally herself.

She froze when he offered her some wine, the same as that famous evening, but she held out her glass while glancing with worry at Alec, sitting next to her.

''It's not poisoned,'' Magnus said with a grin. ''Don't worry.''

Lydia still avoided to look at him which made him wonder if she felt guilty towards them about what had happened. He hadn't really talked to Alec about it and doubted they had as well.

He managed to isolate herself with her when Alec went into the kitchen, Izzy and Jace were bickering and Max was cutting the cake. She was alone so Magnus had hastened to drag her onto the balcony after offering her another drink.

''Finally alone,'' he said with a huge grin.

''Yeah,'' she murmured with a strangled voice.

They stared at each other without saying anything, it was almost awkward between them.

''Thanks for the diner,'' she said. ''Thank you for having me over given the circumstances.''

''What circumstances?'' he asked with a frown. ''You're Alec's friend even if you've been more than that at some point.''

Her eyes widened and she breathed in. ''I didn't know he had someone, I mean he kept that for himself to not let his father know and at first we were supposed to see each other only once so he couldn't really say anything at that time, then we were forced to see each other again and he couldn't really tell me since he didn't know me and didn't know if he could trust me," she said in one go before wincing. "I...I've never been interested in...from the beginning we knew that becoming friends would be an advantage, and I learned about you two the night you dumped him.''

Magnus smiled. ''It looks like I've traumatized you."

''Your glare was pretty self-explanatory about me,'' she mumbled while looking at her glass.

''You were a threat to my couple,'' he softly said to justify the way he had looked at her.

''Which I didn't know... I tried to find out why he had agreed to see me when he already had you and that's how I learned about the contracts and why he didn't say anything, I finally knew why he had done all that.''

Magnus nodded, Alec had told him that she had also helped him in a way. ''I broke up with him without knowing that there was something deeper and let's say that I'm grateful that you've been here for him when I wasn't.''

''Does that mean that if you had knew you wouldn't have dumped him ?''

''I wouldn't have said what I had said at the time, it wasn't suitable...and it had to happen, something had to happen to make him react,'' he carefully said. ''And it worked somehow,'' he added in a murmur.

She smiled. ''I'm ready to take him in again if things don't go well between you too, he was so anxious when you moved in together.''

Magnus snorted and rolled his eyes. ''That's very sweet of you but he worries too much and for nothing.''

''I know.''

''I wanted to know...Are you the one he was drinking with ?''

Her eyes widened and she winced. ''Hum...yeah, it happened that we drunk together, mostly because I wanted to and...well, he went with the flow I guess.''

He nodded. ''It wasn't difficult for you when you were no longer engaged ?''

''No...Alec has clearly said that he was gay, what did you want my parents to do ?''

Magnus snorted. ''I would have loved to be here just to see their faces.''

''Robert's face was amazing,'' she said with a huge grin. ''Maryse didn't react that much though,'' she added. ''She contacted me a lot to know how he was doing when he got disinherited.''

''Really ?''

''Yeah, she said she couldn't help him but honestly if she had been able to hide your relationship, she could have found a way to help him financially. ''

Magnus agreed. ''You don't like her.''

''You neither.''

''She hates me for no reason, so I don't have any to like her.''

Lydia smiled. ''Because she wanted to be there for Alec after all this mess to fix things between them, but you got here faster than her and you fiercely defend your position. I don't know what she's thinking...but maybe she resents you for dumping him.''

He scoffed. ''She wishes that I didn't come back.''

''Maybe...it's up to you to make her like you.''

''It won't work, not with her.''

''Alec says that you're like a butterfly,'' she began to say but didn't carry on as he spat his wine on his hand. ''You're very social and you're flying from flower to flower, so making your mother-in-law like you shouldn't be an obstacle for you.''

 _A butterfly ?_ he thought with embarrassment.

''She doesn't see me like a butterfly but more like a rat,'' he mumbled with a stupid grin. ''I guess I'll have to molt.''

She smiled and looked at his outstretched hand with a slight frown.

''Let's be friends ?'' he suggested.

She lengthily stared at his hand, then lifted her head. ''I've never been your enemy,'' she said, shaking it with a little smile.

Magnus smiled. ''Alec's friends are my friends and he doesn't have a lot of friends.''

''I don't either,'' she scowled.

''Thanks for being here all this time,'' he seriously added. ''And if you don't mind I'd like to have your number, like this you'll have one more friend.''

Her face lit up and she agreed.

''More wine ?'' he offered while taking her to the living room.

''I'm already drunk.''

Magnus' smile widened, he really liked her.

*

The other day, he had given to Max a list to make him more butterfly-like in Maryse's eyes. She had read it, Max had told him but it didn't seem to have changed anything. He sighed, remembering what he had written. He had forgotten to mention his tea which she had seemed to appreciate the last time she had come.

_ Why you should accept me as Alexander's boyfriend _

  * _I love him_

  * _He loves him_

  * _He can choose whoever he wants and he chose me (he's a big boy and almost 24 yo)_

  * _It's me or me_

  * _I'm making a good living_

  * _I can make him happy and I do_

  * _Alec won't listen to you anyway_

  * _Max likes me_

  * _Izzy too_

  * _Jace too_

  * _So stop looking at me as you do_




The tea could have changed everything.

He stirred his coffee and sighed before looking at the time. His break was over and he had a lot of work to do. He strode toward his office and bumped into a colleague who winced.

"A woman wants to see you, she's not a customer."

Magnus frowned. ''She's still here ?''

''I made her wait in your office.

"Why did you make her come in?"

''Because she said she was your boyfriend's mother. ''

_Oh._

Magnus stared at him for a moment which made his coworker pat his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

''I know, it's not always easy,'' he sighed. ''Fortunately we don't get to see them every day.''

''She's waiting for a long time ?''

''No.''

''Thanks,'' he grumbled.

''Good luck.''

''Yeah,'' he said before rushing in his office.

When he saw her sitting and looking at his desk, through the bay window, Magnus wanted to run away. He looked at the cup of coffee he was holding in his hands and cursed himself for not thinking about something to drink for her. And he was wearing more glitter than usual today. He cleared his throat while opening the door, making her turn around and frown.

''Mr Bane.''

Mrs Lightwood, he wanted to say but she was divorced so he didn't know how to call her and said nothing before slowly sitting.

''What can I do for you ?'' he politely asked, wondering if she wanted to invest her money somewhere.

She looked at his hands, his clothes and then looked up to his face with the same eye that made him uncomfortable. She wasn't here to talk about his little letter, right?

"You went to see my ex-husband a while ago," she simply said while staring at him.

Magnus blinked. Plot twist, was she the one who made the mustached man follow him ?

''I'm just in good terms with Mary,'' she sighed when she saw his face. ''You should have added that to your list.''

Magnus didn't have time to wonder who Mary was, she carried on with the same melancholic look.

''What did you talk about?''

''About whom did you want us to talk?''

A tiny smile curved her lips. ''Mary told me that your visit had worsened his mood.''

Mary seemed to be the woman who had cared for Alec.

"It makes you happy."

''You too.''

''Yeah so, you just came here to talk about what happened ?''

''No I know, Robert told me.''

Magnus waited until she announced the purpose of her visit. She fidgeted on her chair and tried to look at him as she did a few seconds before.

''You don't need me to accept you to be with my son so why did you write this list? ''

''You're still seeing him, honestly I don't mind and don't care, I'm just careful in case you decide to really act. Do you think Alec likes it when you comment our relationship and show him that you don't like me ? "

''I don't hate you.''

He snorted. ''But you don't like me either because I'm obviously a nobody for you.''

She nodded. ''You can't force me to love you, I'm sure it won't last anyway.''

"It's not because yours didn't last that our relationship won't either," he stated.

She stared at him for a while, her lips pinched before smiling coldly. ''We'll see but I won't do anything, I don't need to.''

Magnus rolled his eyes. She was worst than Robert and he got scared that she brought them bad luck. He was about to ask her to leave because he had work to do but she was faster.

''You didn't have to write this list,'' she said while standing up. ''I don't like you but I've accepted Alec's decision, as you said in your list, he doesn't listen to me anymore and seems to really want you... So you can consider that I've accepted you, otherwise I wouldn't have let Max go at your place so many times.''

Magnus lengthily stared at her with a little smile. ''There's some progress,'' he said which made her frown. ''Thanks for accepting me then and even if I don't like you either you'll always be welcome at our place.''

''It's not as if you could prevent Alec to see me anyway.''

''No, sadly no.''

''You resent me more than him,'' she noted.

''You look surprised?''

''No but I was surprised that you didn't hit Robert.''

''Oh I wanted to but don't worry, I don't hate you as much as him.''

This time she smiled for real, as if it had made her happy that he hated her ex-husband and more than her. This smile confused a lot Magnus who saw a big resemblance with Izzy and Alec.

''Goodbye Mr Bane.''

''Goodbye.''

And he sent a message of victory to Max who immediately asked him for a picture of Chairman Meow.

*

Alec didn't seem that excited that his birthday was just around the corner, unlike all of them who were waiting impatiently for this day. Magnus had warned everyone early so that they wouldn't have anything planned for the D-day. And especially Lydia, busy as she was.

"Do you honestly think I was going to plan something on Alec's birthday?" had retorted Izzy while staring at him.

Magnus had politely smiled before asking if she had already found her present.

''Of course, he'll love it,'' she had answered with a huge grin.

They all had a present even if Lydia got worried about how simple were hers.

''As long as it's not a book, it's okay,'' comforted her Magnus, jokingly.

There was no more room on the huge shelf and there were books everywhere over their place now but it hadn't stopped him from buying three books that he intended to offer him. Alec didn't realize how excited they were and didn't even pay attention to the glitter pots that Magnus had forgotten to put away.

Alec was pretty oblivious.

Worried, he still had asked Izzy if Alec knew when his birthday was, she had laughed and told him to not worry as it wouldn't be the first time that he would forget his own birthday.

''Like this he'll be even more surprised,'' had said Simon who seemed really proud of his present.

He had refused to tell them what it was and had smiled mysteriously.

Magnus then had bought some birthday stuff that he hid in the kitchen under the curious look of Chairman Meow who was looking at him in a please way. He took him in his arms, kissed his head, stroked his belly and smiled, eagerly waiting for the day after.

Alec didn't seem to be in a good mood, probably because of the intern in FancyB who had created a mess with their orders. He came home, exhausted and immediately sat down on the couch with a wince which showed that he had a headache.

Magnus was ready to do anything for him in order to make him feel better for the next day. He moved closer and delicately grabbed his face. Alec opened his eyes and kissed him, before crossing his legs. Magnus then began to massage his face and neck for his headache, and kissed his closed eyelids.

''Is it part of the massage?''

Magnus smiled. ''Of course, is it better or not?''

''Not really but it worked last time.''

 _And it's nice,_ Magnus thought before leaning harder on some specific points in his neck. Alec smiled in a please way and he hastened too kiss his smile before pecking his face. He almost fell asleep in his arms, which made Magnus snort.

''Go to bed.''

Alec complied halfheartedly and when it was time to eat, Magnus tried to wake him up but couldn't so he took a picture of him and Chairman Meow who was contentedly sleeping next to his head. They really looked cute together, he noted and leaned in to kiss his hair before going back in the kitchen.

He ate, prepared two little things for the birthday meal and watched the TV before realizing that it was quite late and that Alec's birthday was imminent. He carefully went into bed and blindly looked for Alec's body on the edge in his sleep. 

Chairman Meow meowed and jumped over his arm, tickling him as he passed. He gently kissed Alec's face and the latter moved with a groan.

''Happy birthday,'' Magnus whispered against his lips.

Alec didn't kiss him back immediately and slightly pressed his lips against him, looking confused and wondering what was happening.

''Did you wake me up to wish me a happy birthday?'' he asked in an incredulous tone.

Magnus winced, guilty, he had just wanted to be the first one to wish him a happy birthday.

Alec sighed and stroked his back. ''Thank you.''

Magnus smiled and kissed him, again and again, twenty-four times. Alec snorted.

''I was born in the afternoon, so it's not really my birthday yet,'' he murmured.

''I don't care,'' said Magnus while sticking his face against his, it was still his birthday though.

Alec nuzzled his head against his neck and squeezed him more tightly against him, probably ready to fall asleep again. Magnus didn't want to sleep yet.

''We're both awake and it's your birthday,'' he suggestively murmured while sliding his hands down his back, along his buttocks and thighs. ''What about celebrating that?''

Alec kissed his neck. ''Okay but I do you, it's my birthday.''

Magnus huffed and rolled his eyes. ''Exactly so let me do you.''

''It's my birthday,'' he insisted.

''You just want to try the phosphorescent condoms,'' Magnus protested. ''This is my idea, so I decide.''

Alec sighed. ''Heads or tails?'' he suggested.

Magnus immediately turned on the light, sat up and opened the drawer of the bedside table with eagerness to get out their equipment and a coin whereas Alec sat, his eyes fixed on what he was doing.

''Heads,'' Magnus said before throwing the coin that he caught midair before pressing it against his other hand, and he cursed inwardly, he had lost.

Alec looked pleasantly surprised and a smile lit up his face, it was finally his lucky day. Apparently.

''You'll like it,'' he grinned before kissing his chin.

Magnus glanced at him reluctantly before taking him into his arms. ''I've initiated you after all so yes.''

And Alec nibbled his ear before making him lean on his back and took his shirt off.

*

Catarina came early to help him to make the perfect birthday meal for Alec with all his favorite foods. Magnus had made a list based on his observations which he showed to his friend who stared at him.

''Based on your observations? ''

''Yeah he likes everything but I can tell when he likes something better.''

''Magnus,'' she sighed while shaking her head with an amused smile. "Lucky for us, Izzy's not here," she joked.

Magnus sighed. ''She wanted to help, we have to thanks Clary for keeping her busy.''

''Ready to do everything to make it super perfect,'' she murmured while opening the fridge.

And they started to cook.

They were so into what they were currently doing that they didn't see the time fly, until Ragnor arrived with Max, who was eager to help with the table and the apartment. Chairman Meow plaintively meowed when Magnus put a party hat on his head and covered his fur with glitter, Catarina immediately stopped taking up whites in snow to take a picture of the tabby cat.

Lydia did the same when she arrived earlier than expected.

''Isn't it too much ?'' Ragnor asked when he saw the candles, garlands, confetti, and the glitter on the floor.

''It's Alec's birthday,'' Magnus retorted.

''We're not in a carnival,'' said Catarina while taking off her apron and Magnus sprinkled glitter on her before doing the same with Ragnor, Lydia and Max.

''He's always like that,'' Ragnor explained to Lydia before introducing himself.

''I'm the ex-fiancée,'' she said before wincing as she had some glitter in the mouth.

''Magnus,'' scolded him Catarina. ''You put glitter everywhere,'' she complained while opening a saucepan.

"Put your gifts on the table by the way," he simply said before getting ready in his bedroom.

He took the gifts ready for weeks from their hiding-place, slightly nervous about offering them. Especially the letter where he had added a voucher for life with him. This present had more meaning than the others, even more that the watch and the books, and he couldn't wait to see his reaction even though he felt shy and embarrassed.

_Alexander,_

_Happy birthday once again, I hoped you weren't frightened by everyone and that you've enjoyed every minutes of this little party. This birthday must be very different from all the past years and I know that you'll miss that, despite what happened._

_You and me, unlikely, is what you're thinking everyday. I know you do but I do too from time to time. It wasn't planned, you and me, and yet it happened. I'm glad it did and I know that you do too. It wasn't easy, it may have seemed scary, tough and tiring but you're stronger than you look like and you always have been despite what someone told you._

_Maybe I had noticed how broken you were since the beginning and a part of me identified with your pain that you had and still have deep inside. One day, you'll feel better. Pain is just a reminder of what makes you alive, it can last a long time but it will fade away, I promise._

_Time heals but I hope that I will  be able to heal you too._

_I lost you once, I had too, it was necessary and extremely painful for the both of us but it made us stronger and love each other deeper and better._

_I'm glad you came to my party three years ago, or rather I have to thank Izzy and Jace, if they hadn't been drunk you wouldn't have come to take them back home. We weren't made for each other from the very first day but we are now, our differences aren't that incompatible as we're now living together without any problems. We're meant to be._

_You've changed and in a good way. You're still unconfident and have a low self-esteem but it got better, bigger and better. By loving you, and you by loving me, you're slowly starting to love yourself and you can't imagine how it makes me happy to see all these changes._

_You make me happy and feel things I thought I would never experience again until I noticed that it had never been like this. Not as much, not this strong. I'm your first relationship and your first for many things but you're my first many things too. I've learned a lot with you, even about me._

_You said once ''thanks for loving me'', I have to say that too : thank you for loving me Alexander, especially the selfish, egocentric, possessive and pushy me._

_Believe me or not but the tattoo I like better isn't the one on your hip, but the one on your left shoulder. All your tattoos depict the love you have for your siblings and what you went through but this one is special and perfectly embodies you and me. These two stars aren't that different from each other but they're unlike and yet complementary, like you and me. You're like the Moon, secretive, changing, who couldn't shine brightly but you're now able to shine on your own, you already proved it, you just needed time and a Sun to show you the way._

_I'll take care of you, everyday, until the end. Don't forget that you're loved dearly by your siblings, your friends and me._

_I love you Alexander, to the Moon and back, I always will._

_Magnus <3_

He put the letter in an envelope with the voucher and smiled when he heard the doorbell, Jace and Izzy's laugh, then Simon and Clary's voice. Alec wouldn't be long now.

_*_

Magnus glared at the sexy calendar Izzy had offered to Alec for his birthday, they were handsome he had to admit it but still... He rolled into the bed and grunted. They had spent the weekend in the mountains, given their busy schedules they couldn't have left the country that easily. This romantic open-air trip had done them good and Magnus had thanked Catarina for offering this trip to Alec.

"You should never underestimate the power of trip in the mountains,'' she had said with a smile.

He opened one eye when he heard Alec's footsteps coming closer and hummed contentedly when he quickly dropped a kiss on his shoulder.

''Have a good day,'' he hoarsely mumbled.

Alec smiled. ''I'll come back late tonight,'' he murmured.

Magnus nodded and closed his eyes wondering how he could be so awake after their exhausting weekend. He heard the door slam and got stifled by Chairman Meow who had decided to rub his fur against his face.

He growled and took the tabby cat who purred against him. ''I've missed you too,'' he mumbled before falling back asleep.

He didn't do much if not chilling at home on the couch and responded to messages about his romantic weekend. Alec still hadn't answered to his father's birthday text but Magnus had seen that he had been waiting for this birthday message and was less disturbed since, as if he was comforted that Robert still had a thought for him.

Magnus had really done everything to distract him and it had worked perfectly, thanks to Catarina's gift. He couldn't believe that he missed Robert and knew that filling this void would take time and a lot of love.

When Alec returned home at 10:00 pm, Magnus was patiently waiting for him in the kitchen with narrowed eyes.

''You said that you'd be late but not that late,'' he protested.

Alec sheepishly smiled and walked towards him to kiss him. Magnus accepted the kiss with a scowl.

''There're some sushi left,'' he said.

Alec smiled, trying to soften him and it worked.

''Eat,'' Magnus said while pinching his cheek and he went into the bathroom to shower.

He wondered where he had been, and knew that it had nothing to do with him, he probably had seen Lydia or someone else. He was almost naked when Alec suddenly barged in.

''I have something to show you,'' he said with embarrassment, which made Magnus frowned.

He didn't remove his underwear and waited for him to say what he had to say. Alec's hands went down and grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt before starting to take it off under Magnus' surprised eyes who thought that he wanted to shower together. But it wasn't that. Alec's torso was covered with a plastic film and a bandage where there were all the constellations of his siblings and his mingled together.

''I used Simon's gift,'' he explained casually.

Magnus blinked and frowned, slightly offended that he hadn't told him that he intended to get tattoed today. He had asked him many time with curiosity if he already knew what he would get and Alec had each time said no.

''What did you get ?'' he asked.

Alec smiled and carefully removed the bandage.

''You can already take it off ?'' Magnus asked with worry.

''Yeah, I got it this morning.''

''Does it hurt ?''

''Not really,'' he said and Magnus could see the little new one.

There was a new constellation next to Alec's one, mingled with the others. He looked at the black lines surrounded by red flesh, slightly swollen, then looked at Alec waiting for an explanation.

''It's yours,'' he explained while looking at it and shyly glanced up at him.

Magnus blinked at stared blankly at him. ''Mine ?''

Alec nodded.

''You got a tattoo of my astrological sign?'' he asked.

Alec frowned. ''Yeah.''

Magnus had briefly thought that it was Maryse's and was staring at Alec with an impassive face. Never he would have thought that Alec could prove the love he had for him with a tattoo. He was moved and more than he looked like, slightly confused that he had dared to take the risk to print a part of him into his skin.

''There's the Sun but it's not the same so now...,'' Alec tried to explain with concern.

Magnus genuinely smiled. ''We have to stay together for good now'' he murmured before taking him into his arms and bumped their nose against each other before softly kissing him. ''This is the most beautiful proof of love you could give to me and I didn't ask you so much.''

''You're blushing,'' Alec noted with an incredulous tone.

''It's not the first time you make me blush,'' Magnus mumbled while nestling his head into his neck. ''Aku cinta kamu,'' he fondly murmured against his skin.

Alec stroked his back before sticking his lips against his neck.

''I know,'' Magnus fondly murmured.

*

Almost three years since they were together. Alec was his longest relationship, the most steady, intense and happiest one he had ever lived. He felt complete, entirely him with him and that could explain why he was thinking a lot about Jace's pink hair if Alec ever got married.

It wasn't only because he wanted to see Jace with pink hair, Alec made him want to get married.

Magnus had never considered marriage before and never thought that it would be an end in itself. He even thought that he had said that he would never marry when he was younger, whereas now it was very tempting.

Sadly, Alec didn't think much about weddings. He wasn't against it but wasn't very enthusiasm about it either. Magnus was the only one interested but he couldn't blame him, his parents had been a poor example of an awful married life. Furthermore, Alec seemed happy just being together and didn't feel the need to formalize their relationship. Magnus too but being married added some depth and would unite them more than they already were.

And a ring would suit a lot Alec.

He just have to wait more as until now everything he always had what he wanted, he just need to be patient. Time and patience had done wonders on both of them. Alec had gradually become accustomed to his father's absence and to the fact that he had definitely left their lives for good, even though he wasn't very far away. It was as if his existence had been erased, even if he sent birthday messages to Maryse and their children. But that was all, only the birthdays and at the last minute.

No one had met him or seen him since, not even Max.

Alec had resigned himself, knowing that he would never be accepted and had stopped to hope. The wounds hadn't completely healed yet, but they were no longer as gaping as before. All the Lightwoods were strong, even though Izzy and Jace had moved on much quicker than him, with their heads held high.

Maybe seeing them happy had made Alec happy and want to move forwards.

He looked up from his computer and saw that Alec was reading a postcard sent by Max. His smiling face made him smile and he focused back on his screen.

''Magnus?''

''Hmm?''

''He sent me a message.''

He didn't have to ask who. He knew and his face hardened, showing how displeased this made him feel.

''Wow,'' he sarcastically said. ''He took his time! What does he want?''

Robert had needed three years to question himself and nothing said that he wanted to be forgiven.

''Speak. Izzy, Jace and Max refused.''

''You don't have to accept, not to mention that the last time that you saw each other, you fought... Do you really want to see him?''

Magnus didn't want him to see him not to forgive him, but he knew it would happen. He couldn't prevent him to do so even if he wanted to protect him., if Alec wanted to see his father he had to respect his decision.

His throat tightened and he desperately waited for his answer.

''I don't know,'' Alec answered in a murmur.

''Would you forgive him?'' Magnus asked with a sigh, perfectly knowing that it would happen.

''You forgave me, so I don't know.''

Magnus rolled his eyes and huffed. ''It's not the same and don't forgive him this easily. He took his time, and he reappears out of the blue hoping to be welcomed with open arms..., '' he mumbled.

''Maybe he didn't change...''

''Then don't waste your time with him.''

''How should I know in this case if he changed or not?''

Magnus sighed deeply. ''Do you want to see him?''

''I don't know,'' murmured Alec.

And Magnus cursed inwardly Robert as the only mention of him, still disturbed and confused Alec who didn't talk about it anymore. But he knew that everyday he was thinking about it, every single day. He just have to wait for him to clearly say whether he intended to see him or not.

Magnus didn't want him to but patiently waited for his answer until he couldn't wait anymore. He didn't ask Izzy, Jace and Max, as Robert was still a sensitive topic but asked Lydia if she knew something. Maybe Alec had told her something about his father. Alec hadn't even told her that Robert had contacted him.

''Consider yourself happy that he told you,'' she had said with a little smile. ''It was predictable, only a matter of time...,'' she had pensively added. ''I don't particularly want him to talk to him again either but if he decides to see him again, we must respect his decision, even if you're really worried.''

And she had promised to tell him if she knew something.

Magnus was actually afraid that Alec would see his father without telling him which worried him a lot, especially if this meeting had disastrous consequences. But he trusted him, he wanted to and had to, besides he really did. Worry just made him overprotective and for nothing as Alec didn't make any move and did as if nothing ever happened.

With a huge grin, Catarina took Chairman Meow in her arms and Ragnor slightly stroked his head. The tabby cat happy to receive so much attention narrowed his eyes in a please way. Magnus rolled his eyes and grabbed three glasses and a bottle of wince.

''Where's Alec ?'' asked Catarina before looking at him

''He had something planned with Izzy, Jace and Max.''

''Max came back ?''

''Yeah it's been a few days already, '' Magnus said while filling their glasses.

Chairman Meow had had enough of being hugged and jumped from Catarina's arms, who sat down at the table while Ragnor was looking at the huge collection of books in the living room.

"I don't know how you still manage to have room for them," he said.

''You didn't see our bedroom, '' Magnus snorted while sitting down.

Ragnor hummed and talked about his students.

''Sometimes I wonder what they have in the head,'' he said with a deep sigh.

Magnus smiled and sipped his wine, expecting them to talk and given the comfortable silence decided to tell them what he had in mind.

''Alec is my longest relationship,'' he began to say, slightly hesitant. ''And you probably already know that with him it's different and...,'' he carried on while he saw Catarina roll her eyes whereas Ragnor seemed to already know what he was going to say and he was staring at him with a wince and wide eyes. Magnus frowned. ''What ?''

''You...you...uh...do you want to marry him ?'' he asked with narrowed eyes as if it was incredibly surprising.

Catarina's eyes widened and she spat some wine on her hand. ''Oh my God,'' she murmured while staring at him. ''You want to marry him ?''

Magnus looked at them with worry. ''Is that surprising ? Alec and me we're dating for several years and I can't see myself without him so...''

''Who said that he would never get married ?'' snorted Ragnor, still staring at him with the same expression.

''It was before he met Alec,'' retorted Catarina with a smirk. ''So you...did you tell him ?''

''He's not really against the idea of getting married but not really for either,'' explained Magnus. ''Besides, I only told him that I wanted to get married with him one day, not immediately.''

''But you want to marry him immediately,'' noted Catarina with a frown.

Ragnor emptied his glass in one go. ''I can't believe you want to get married,'' he explained. ''That's so unlike you but not very surprising and very surprising,'' he added. ''You know what I mean ?''

''No,'' scowled Magnus with a glare before heaving a sigh. ''I just have to wait a little more, I know he won't say no but maybe he would...''

''But he won't say yes either and you don't want him to refuse,'' summarized Ragnor who was still staring at him with the same expression.

''Stop staring at me like that,'' protested Magnus.

''I'm looking at you like someone who just learned that his best friend wanted to get married, I'm surprised but happy for you !''

''Me too,'' Catarina hastened to say. ''If it happens don't warn us the D-day, I want to be here.''

Ragnor nodded. ''Me too.''

Magnus stared at them with narrowed eyes and mischief. ''I'll think about it.''

Ragnor suddenly smiled. ''And to say that Alec's mother said that the two of you wouldn't last long...if you ever get married, invite her to the wedding !''

Magnus widely smiled. ''Jace said Clary would have to dye his hair pink if Alec ever got married.''

Catarina snorted. ''This wedding has to happen, I want to see that.''

Magnus too but he wanted to put a ring on Alec's finger so much more, even if some aspects were quite appealing. Of course, he couldn't force Alec to agree so he kept this in mind for several weeks before making his move.

He had already thought about the perfect ring for Alec, a simple silver ring in which their initials would be engraved inside. The only problem was that he didn't know the size of Alec's fingers, especially his ring finger. They were long and thin and Magnus knew that none of his rings could fit him.

He wondered how he could order the ring behind his back with his size, which seemed pretty impossible.

Alec frowned when he suddenly grabbed his hands, intertwined their fingers together before kissing him. Magnus' fingers wrapped around his, trying to determine the size of his ring finger but he couldn't measure his size like this, he tried to focus on his finger, he really tried but Alec deepened their kiss, which made him release his hands to embrace him.

This first attempt was a failure.

Alec's fingers were thinner than his but how much ? He needed a size for the ring.

He just had to wait for him to sleep, he had everything needed to determine his finger size and patiently waited.

But Alec wasn't tired and wanted to read. Already settled in the bed, Magnus watched him lie down, a big book in hand, and open it contentedly. He rolled his eyes. How many times Alec had spent sleepless nights just to finish a book? He could read quickly and Magnus knew that with that one he would have finished in four hours. The problem was that he would fall asleep before he could have measure his ring finger.

He stuck to him and Alec naturally moved his arm and wrapped it around his neck to bring him closer. With a little smile, Magnus comfortably nuzzled his face into his neck and felt Alec's hand in his hair, gently and absently stroking his scalp before turning the page.

Magnus sighed and closed his eyes after breathing in, he would measure his finger another time. He smiled contentedly and hugged him tighter.

It was only after three days, or rather three nights, that he finally got the size of Alec's ring finger. It had been easy as he had a deep sleep and he regretted to not have done it way before. He went into a jewelry shop and ordered the ring where he asked for an A and M engraved inside. The ring quickly arrived but the hardest part was next.

Magnus lengthily looked at the ring which glimmered softly, simple, shiny and magnificent which would suit Alec so much. He didn't know how to make his marriage proposal and began to panic. This was totally unknown to him, he had never thought of marrying anyone before, let alone making a marriage proposal.

He wondered abruptly whether he should ask for them to get engaged first or something like that, unless asking for his hand  got them engaged immediately. Romantic movies weren't really clear about that: proposal and hop three days later was the honeymoon.

It wouldn't happen like this with them.

The ring remained for two weeks in his pocket, in its jewelry box. He didn't dare to propose, not so spontaneously. He couldn't and couldn't prepare himself mentally despite his desire to put a ring on his finger. He was afraid to make Alec panic or to hear his no.

He felt too shy to directly and immediately propose. This ring had too many meanings and would had more depth than ever to their relationship. Magnus was ready to start a family with him, which would be written somewhere. Even if they already were one.

And it was scary but exciting and made him want to stop time in order to find the perfect proposal, one which wouldn't make Alec run away.

The simplest thing would be to show him the ring and ask him if he would marry him, if he finally felt ready, but he couldn't. Whenever he could have asked Alec to marry him, Magnus found himself speechless and his hand refused to move to his pocket to catch the jewelry box that desperately waited to be opened.

Alec noticed nothing, except that he remained abnormally and abruptly silent during meals, their dates or conversations, as if he had a bug. Like right now.

Magnus blinked. ''What ?''

Alec frowned. ''I didn't say anything,'' he stated while taking a sip at his orange juice which made Magnus fondly smile.

''Like a baby,'' he snorted.

Alec stared at him and embarrassed didn't finish his glass in order to not be look at, but it didn't work, Magnus lengthily and pensively stared him.

''What's wrong ?'' he asked.

The waiter came to bring the Indian dishes they had ordered. 

''Nothing,'' he casually answered. ''I'm just thinking about all your books, there's a lot.''

Alec's frown deepened. ''Yeah...I know but you said that it didn't matter.''

''It doesn't, I just wondered if we should change a few things to make more room.''

Alec still stared at him with the same puzzled look. ''Since when do you need time to think about redecorating the apartment ?'' he noted. ''I have a lot of books but not that much,'' he protested with worry.

Magnus smiled. ''It wasn't a reproach.''

He had already suggested him to buy everything digitally but Alec had looked at him as if he had been insulted. He didn't allude to it anymore and Alec continued to buy his paper books. He gently caressed the tips of his fingers, which he gently took in his hand. With a small smile, Alec squeezed his hand with a slight pressure before releasing his hand to start eating.

Magnus looked at him for a long time. He had to propose and the sooner the better.

*

He had chickened out and had more or less given up to ask him to marry him directly as he was losing his means just thinking about it. He even thought that it could be a sign showing that he wasn't ready when in fact, Alec's face and just looking him at him straight in the eyes with the intention of proposing made his heart beat faster and made him unable to breathe, which prevented his brain from oxygenating, hence why he couldn't properly propose.

His gaze wandered over Alec's naked body between his arms. He lengthily kissed his mistreated shoulder with purplish bites, then his neck and his jaw. Alec's hand brushed his thigh in a lazy gesture, his breathing was slow and steady, and his eyelids hermetically closed. Chairman Meow suddenly meowed and hissed, Magnus slightly raised his head to see what was going on. The tabby cat was just fiercely playing with a pair of socks. With an eye-roll, he lay down and waited for Alec to be deeply asleep.

He only had to reach out to take the ring in its jewelry box, carefully hidden in the drawer. He gently and delicately took the ring between his fingers and grabbed Alec's left hand while making sure that he didn't wake up. His fingers wrapped around his ring finger and he slipped the silver ring around it before lengthily staring at his hand, and glanced up at his face to make sure once again that he was asleep.

Then, Magnus slowly turned it around his finger, it suited him perfectly. He nervously thought about the reaction he could have the next day and his chest tightened, yet he was relieved and slightly excited but strangely, it calmed him down to have been finally able to put the ring on his finger and had no trouble falling asleep.

He grunted when he heard the shrill ringing of the alarm clock. Alec didn't move and snuggled against Magnus who sat up and crushed it to turn it off.

''Don't break it,'' Alec grumbled against his torso.

Magnus hummed and brushed his shoulder with a kiss before getting up first, he didn't want to be here when he would notice the ring on his finger. It was unusual for him to get up first, he glanced at Alec who was rubbing his face in order to wake up, without noticing the ring.

He carefully avoided his stare and waited, still expecting that he would notice but Alec only noticed how weird he was.

''What's wrong?'' he asked.

''Nothing...you're just not fully awake. ''

Alec frowned. ''Whose fault is it?''

Magnus finally grinned. ''Mine and you like it.''

He peered at him, waiting for his reaction and reply with apprehension and nervousness. How could he not notice anything? Having ring on his finger could be disturbing, he was supposed to feel this change, feel this ring, but apparently not, he didn't seem to feel anything and saw nothing at all. Not even when he grabbed their cups and something to eat, under the piercing gaze of Chairman Meow who was waiting to be fed and who had probably noticed the ring.

Magnus stared at him, torn between amusement, exasperation and tenderness that Alec could be so oblivious. Not even when he did the dishes. He clearly wasn't fully awake but finally came to notice his stare.

''What's wrong?'' he asked again with a frown as he could felt that he had something to say.

Magnus lengthily gazed at him with his distressed look and shook his head before going into the bathroom.

He still didn't notice anything while brushing his teeth, in front of the mirror.

Same thing in the elevator.

 _Look at my ring,_ Magnus begged him inwardly when Alec gazed absently at his feet. They went out from the elevator and Alec gave glanced at him with worry, aware that there was something that made him grumpy. With an eye-roll, Magnus grabbed him by the collar of his coat and harshly slammed his lips against his. Alec didn't kiss him back and frowned.

''I love you as you are,'' he sighed resignedly while looking at him lengthily. He should have asked him directly and not like this, he was ready to bet that he wouldn't notice anything until the end of the day. And he walked away, in the opposite direction.

This marriage proposal was the biggest failure of his entire life. And it wasn't Alec's fault, far from it. How could he make up for that? It was too late to take the ring back and make a marriage proposal worthy of the name, he couldn't have dneo it and that was why it was a failure.

He went to make himself a mint tea before shutting himself up in his office, and it was when he reached his desk, with his smoking cup in hand, that his phone rang. Maybe it wasn't that much of a failure finally, he began to hope.

''I finally noticed it,'' Alec awkwardly said.

Magnus triumphantly smiled. ''You're slower than me sometimes,'' he declared with an unsteady voice which betrayed his nervousness.

''What does that mean?''

''What do you think?''

''Is it your marriage proposal?''

''This is one,'' murmured Magnus.

''How did you do for the size?''

''I know everything about you,''

''Does that mean that I have to buy you a ring?'' Alec asked uncertainly.

Magnus remained silent a long moment, the heart madly pounding in his chest and he widely grinned. ''I want a large sapphire surrounded by diamonds.''

Alec snorted.

Magnus took a deep breath, he had to make sure that he hadn't misunderstood. ''Is it a yes?''

''Well... I have no arguments against it and if that's what you want... but I still say that I don't need that to be with you... and I still have the voucher for life with Magnus Bane.''

''I want a large sapphire surrounded by diamonds, '' Magnus repeated, still widely smiling.

''Okay.''

''Alexander?''

''Hmm?''

''I really want to see Jace with pink hair, let's make it real,'' he lightly said before hanging up.

All day long, he had this stupid smiling face but he couldn't stop. He was happy and his face wanted to show it.

He got even happier when he came home and saw that Alec was already here who didn't let him take him in his arms and hastened to ask what would happen to their name.

Magnus frowned, he didn't think about that. ''Heads or tails?'' he suggested after wondering with curiosity which one of their name would win.

He threw the coin that fell on the floor and rolled towards Chairman Meow who threw himself on it.

Magnus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. ''Anyhow Lightwood-Bane and Bane-Lightwood sounds great, don't you think?'' he murmured before hugging him.

''I'm sure you did it just to get a ring,'' Alec murmured against his neck.

Magnus chuckled. ''And especially to have you but I'm so impatient to have my future amazing ring. Don't forget to buy it.''

''Then why don't I have a single diamond on mine?''

''You want one?''

''No.''

''See, I thought it would be perfect as it is for you...Besides, you have a tattoo with the chemical formula of silver nitrate on your sides so...silver was made for you,'' Magnus explained while caressing his cheekbone, before kissing him tenderly.

Now that he had noticed the ring, Alec couldn't help staring at it, which made Magnus snort. They were now engaged but still didn't tell anyone about the matter. Magnus wanted to have his ring on his finger first in order to brag. Alec smiled and promised to quickly buy him one.

Later in bed, Magnus mingled their fingers together when he saw that Alec was still staring at the ring. Maybe it bothered him as he wasn't used to wearing bijoux..

''Thank you,'' he murmured while Magnus was kissing his sides where he had his constellation tattoo added to his siblings and his own.

''Thanks for loving you?'' Magnus asked, brushing his nose against the chemical formula of the silver nitrate on his right side. ''You're more than welcome and anytime.''

Alec smiled and his hands stroked his hair.

''Do you ever think about how things would have been if nothing had changed?" he suddenly asked.

''No, they would have changed no matter what because I would have made the first move.''

Alec snorted. ''Right...but you already did, it's thanks to you in a way. I would never have imagined me like that,'' he said with a frown.

''You mean naked in bed with me?''

''Yeah.''

Magnus kissed his chin. ''It was only a matter of time, I always get what I want, and I wanted you, so it happened.''

Alec blinked. ''And you made me want you.''

''I finally got there,'' he admitted with a satisfied smile.

''By the way,'' Alec said while stroking his back. ''I have to see Robert tomorrow so if I'm not coming back... you'll know why,'' he joked.

Magnus didn't smile, he didn't even try, surprised that Alec had finally decided to see him and didn't tell him about the fact that they were still talking with each other. He straightened up with a frown.

''It was a joke,'' Alec clarified.

Magnus peered at him lengthily. He didn't look confused, anxious, not like before at least. He had changed, grown up, got used to having a normal and healthy environment. Alec wasn't the same turtley, unconfident, closeted young man he had been. He had always been strong but Magnus was afraid that everything would collapsed in an instant because of this person.

But he trusted him.

He straightened up before kissing him. ''Where?''

''The cursed restaurant.''

''Put your ring in evidence as soon as you can.''

''I'll try,'' he agreed with a smile that Magnus hastened to kiss.

And Alec squeezed him a little harder against him.

****

Magnus was staring at him as if he was afraid he would disappear right away and vanished in the air. Alec perfectly understood his worries and slightly felt guilty to have ruined the mood the night before. He hadn't told anyone and almost didn't want to at first but he had been too afraid to make Magnus angry to keep it for himself, despite perfectly knowing what he was thinking about this meeting.

Magnus clearly didn't want him to go, Alec could tell but he had to. A part of him had always waited for this day even if he didn't expect that much. Robert had contacted Max first, then following his refusal had contacted Izzy, then Jace and finally Alec who had been hesitant. Robert had insisted, almost every day and he had finally accepted.

He tried to not show how nervous he was. Almost three years went by without seeing him, a lot happened during this time, and they were now like strangers for each other. A distance had been drawn, a loud and clear split right after their last violent conversation. There always had been this distance between them but now it couldn't be overcome, not like before.

Alec thoughtfully gazed at his ring and smiled before glancing at Magnus who went in the bathroom. Chairman Meow was grooming his fur and looked up when he noticed his stare. He suddenly wondered how his mother would react when she'll know about the ring. She wasn't hostile anymore towards Magnus but she wasn't friendly either, even if they could support each other's presence in the same room.

Magnus was putting on makeup and when he saw him in the door way, slightly turned his head. Alec's stare wandered over his cheekbones softly shining.

''You have to go ?'' he asked.

Alec nodded. ''Yeah, it won't be long.''

Magnus stared at him, almost grumpily. ''Call me if something happen or use your fists.''

Alec rolled his eyes and moved closer to drop a light kiss on his shoulder.

''Send me a message as soon as you can,'' Magnus murmured with concern and a frown before properly kissing him, and he finally let him go.

For the first time, Alec was late whereas he had always managed to come early each time he had to see Robert, before. Time had changed but he felt the same when walking toward the cursed restaurant. He was nervous, worried and full of concerns. Did he have to thank him for all his happy birthday ? Never he had answered to not cross the line after what happened. Maybe Robert just wanted to ask him about his siblings, probably because his mother hadn't wanted to tell him anything. His throat tightened at the mere idea that Robert wanted to see him not for him of for what happened between them.

He didn't expect much from him but secretly hoped to hear an apology, an explanation, even if he already knew that there were none.

The streets were busy, full of people, despite the cold weather and the gray sky. Alec walked faster, snaking between people to not bump into them. He took a deep breath when he arrived in front of the Palace and immediately thought about Lydia, he had to also tell her about today. He had to tell to everyone actually.

He quickly went inside but didn't find Robert right away and had to ask a waiter passing by who told him to go upstairs. There was no one upstairs, let alone Robert waiting for him between all these fancy tables.

He looked up and their eyes met. He didn't change, not at all, noted Alec, if not his graying temples. He had never seen him again after this one time in the street when he was with Magnus and Max, as if he had chosen to vanish from their sight and their life, which he kind of did actually.

''I'm late,'' he mumbled before pulling the chair and under his father's stare.

''I could tell,'' Robert stated while staring at him.

Alec looked down at his white and shiny plate and didn't dare to look up, he didn't notice the stare of Robert on his ring finger and absently stroked the ring with his thumb. When he finally looked up, Robert adverted his eye and grabbed the menu. Alec hastened to hide behind his menu as well.

None of the dishes were appealing and he discreetly glanced up at him who moved a finger, to show to the waiter who seemed to have been waiting for a long time already that they were ready to order.

Alec took the same as him, except for the wine and the dessert.

''How's Idris ?'' he lowly asked when the waiter walked away.

And he winced, Robert could perfectly answer ''Idris couldn't do any better without you.'' But he didn't.

''Business is going well,'' he simply answered.

Alec nodded and noticed that he wasn't wearing a ring, which was normal as his parents were no longer married, but he had thought that he would get married again with the woman he was seeing aka the bitch, like would have said his mother.

''Still with him ?'' Robert nonchalantly asked while staring at him right in the eyes.

''Yeah.''

''Hence the ring.''

Alec instinctively hid his hand from him but didn't look away. It wasn't an ashamed gesture but a protective one from his cold and hard glare. He wasn't here to talk about Magnus, he could and say that they were happy but it didn't concern him and Alec sincerely doubted that it would interest him either.

''Where are you working ?'' he asked with the same tone.

''FancyB.''

Robert frowned. He didn't hear about it and seemed to wonder what kind of company it was. He didn't ask for more not about him at least and asked about his siblings. But he already seemed to know everything as if he had kept an eye on them all this time.

Max wouldn't like it, Jace and Izzy neither.

The waiter came back with the wine and filled their glasses whereas an other one came to bring their dishes. Alec discreetly pulled his buzzing phone from his pocket, he had forgotten to send a message to Magnus, so he quickly sent him a little heart and put his phone back on his pocket.

''You're still friend with Lydia Branwell,'' he said.

Alec looked up.

''She told me, I saw her the other day.''

She hadn't said anything, probably because it had been brief, and busy as she was, it hadn't been important for her. In Robert's eyes could perfectly be read an ''and to say that you could have been married.''

''She's doing well.''

Alec nodded and hastened to sip his wine that he didn't like despite the price and the vineyard. The silence wasn't comfortable and was rather heavy, making him feel uneasy. It wasn't like with Magnus or his siblings, nor his mother. He suddenly remembered how much seeing him made him panic. This time seemed to be faraway and yet very close.

Their eyes met.

''Did you get married ?'' Robert suddenly asked.

Alec blinked. ''No, not yet.''

His father's lips twitched and he grabbed his glass of wine. ''Not yet,'' he mumbled for himself.

''Why did you want to see me ?'' Alec asked. ''I could have refused like Izzy, Jace and Max.''

''But you didn't and I didn't ask you first because it would have seemed too...,'' he began to say but didn't find the right word to voice his thoughts. ''And their replies have influenced you to agree to see me.''

Alec blankly stared at him. ''You did that on purpose ?''

''They're more resentful than you, otherwise why would you be here ?'' he hastened to add before he could protest and say that he resented him too.

He hadn't changed, he still didn't care that much about Izzy and Jace, and even about Max who was now a teenager more difficult to handle. Alec began to think that it had been a very bad idea to come here all in all.

''I just wanted to know if you had changed or not.''

He suddenly felt bitter and disappointed.

''I wanted to see how you were doing,'' admitted Robert. ''And how do you expect me to change when I'm convinced to have done everything for you own good ? You perfectly know that, you also wanted to reach the top and to be perfect.''

''Because you wanted me to be perfect and I wanted you to be proud of me,'' Alec retorted with a frown.

He didn't add anything about the contracts, he didn't have to.

''Everything was for your own good, your siblings were just a way to make you keep that in mind,'' he firmly said.

''It was for you, not for me,'' Alec said while leaning in and keeping his voice down.

''For you and me,'' he corrected. ''For Idris.''

Alec almost huffed and snorted, and stared at him before biting his lower lip. ''Why did you want to see me ?'' he asked again.

Robert coldly looked back at him. ''I won't apology.''

Then, Alec began to stand up as he wouldn't hear what he had expected.

''Sit,'' hissed Robert. ''I haven't finished.''

''I'm done, there's nothing more to tell,'' Alec mumbled before frowning and stepping backwards when his father grabbed his wrist.

The grip was strong and tightly squeezed him, he felt trapped but Robert immediately released him as if he had realized how aggressive his gesture was.

''Sit,'' he lowly added. ''What do you want me to say ? I already told you that I won't apology.''

Alec didn't sit and stared at him with the same distressed face.

''I dumbly hoped that you would have changed,'' he murmured and began to feel pathetic.

''You want me to accept you, do you ?'' Robert suddenly asked as if it was impossible. ''I wanted you to inherit Idris and I wanted you to have your own family, how did you expect to have all this by being gay ?''

The same speech, which now made him flinch with anger.

''I've never wanted Idris but you wanted someone, you made me understand that it could only be me but that I couldn't be gay in order to satisfy all your expectations. And I have agreed, for you, for Izzy, for Jace and for Max... And you're completely wrong, I can start a family even if I'm gay.''

Robert's eye went to his ring then to his face.

''It wasn't for me, you never did it for me,'' Alec added.

His father clenched his teeth. ''Do you want me to say that I'm sorry ?''

''No because you don't mean it...I'm sorry for disappointing you all these years and to not have been able to be the perfect son you always wanted. I tried, I seriously did and I even tried to not be gay, not only because of the contracts but because I wanted you to be proud of me and I thought that you would love me more like this. I've lost all the very little love you had for me as soon as you've noticed that I liked men, I wanted to make up for it... We're done, you didn't change whereas I did which seems to bother you a lot,'' he said with a frown. ''If you want to change, I'd be happy to see you again but you don't get it, so we're done,'' he calmly repeated. ''And thanks for the birthday wishes.''

Robert stared at him without any expression. He didn't grab his wrist, he did nothing to hold him back when Alec decided to go away, without looking behind him. He walked fast and was quickly outside, he slightly felt disturbed to be in the street and to hear all the noise. It didn't last and he strode, he had to go home.

He took his phone and his lips curved into a little smile. Magnus had sent him a lot of little hearts in his messages. He didn't know how he would tell him how much he was disappointed and regretted to have agreed to see his father. He ignored the latter's incoming call, it was too late, maybe they would see each other in three years, hoping that this time it would be different.

Alec still foolishly hoped that he would change. They all were right, his siblings had been right to refuse in order to not be disappointed as if they already knew.

Magnus had done some grocery shopping while he was away and Chairman Meow contentedly hid in a bag, in the entrance. Alec suddenly felt better and knelt down to stroke him. Magnus suddenly appeared, looking worried and concerned.

''You're earlier than I expected,'' he only said with a frown. ''So ?''

Alec slowly rose and took his coat off. He didn't know what to say and even less how to say them. He glanced at him and saw that he had understood. Magnus sighed and stared at him with compassion.

''I feel so stupid,'' Alec murmured.

''You're not.''

Alec sighed and went into their bedroom, closely followed by a worried Magnus who wanted to know everything. He couldn't help being grateful that he wasn't asking anything, at least not yet.

''If you need a hug, I'm here you know.''

Alec slightly smiled. ''Since when do you ask to hug me ?''

''You look like a cat with a bristly fur.''

''I won't hiss, and I don't scratch and bite,'' he mumbled whereas Magnus superbly ignored the accusations.

''You bite,'' he said with a grin before stroking his cheek.

Alec stared at him, maybe he needed a hug all in all. His arms wrapped around his waist, squeezed him and he nuzzled his face into his neck. Obviously Magnus was extremely happy to be hugged and softly stroked his hair.

''He didn't change,'' he mumbled.

He didn't add that he had said that it had been for his own good, neither that he was still manipulative, nor that he had been so happy that he had wanted to see him and how disappointed this meeting had been. All his expectations had been crushed, flooring Alec who no longer wanted to hope for any change from him. Magnus kissed his hair and murmured comforting words.

''I won't say anything to Jace, Izzy and Max, they probably knew that it'd be like this...and I don't want to hear their reproach.''

Magnus suddenly stopped being affectionate, Alec lifted his head and narrowed his eyes when he saw his guilty face.

''Magnus,'' he sighed.

''Jace called,'' he protested. ''What did you want me to say ? He already had guessed anyway, you're so predictable. Izzy and Max were the only ones who had hoped that you wouldn't see him.''

Alec released him with a frown and scowled. ''What do you mean by predictable ?''

Robert had kind of implied the same thing.

''You didn't say no right away and even if you needed time to think about it, I knew you would...You were waiting for that all this time.''

He had said that in a tone that Alec didn't like: jaded and almost haughty, as if he had been very stupid to do so.

Magnus immediately noticed his mood and rolled his eyes. ''I didn't want you to go, I can't even say I told you because I didn't say anything and I had secretly hoped that he would have changed despite him being him....you know... what saddens me is not your naivety, yes you're naive,'' he firmly added when Alec opened his mouth to protest. ''But you still wanted to see him despite everything and I'm pretty sure that you were ready to forgive him and to do like nothing ever happened if he had showed some regrets...Am I wrong ?''

No he wasn't and he perfectly knew it.

''Well, luckily for you it didn't go as you didn't want it to go,'' Alec dryly said.

Magnus' eyes narrowed and he stared at him with a scowl, Alec immediately wanted to apologized. ''I don't want to argue about him,'' Magnus lowly stated.

''It's not a dispute, it's a conversation,'' Alec mumbled before sheepishly glancing at him.

But Magnus didn't seem to be mad and looked down at his hand before grabbing it to touch his ring.

''Did you show your ring ?'' he softly asked while twirling it.

Alec smiled. ''Not on purpose, he asked me if we were married.''

''Not yet.''

''That's what I said.''

Magnus finally smiled but not genuinely. ''Call Jace,'' he reminded him. ''And Izzy, and probably Max too.''

Alec scowled and removed his hand from his. ''You must be relieved that it didn't go that well,'' he mumbled.

''I hate him and I don't want you to forgive him but I would have been relieved if you had come back with a wide grin and it's not the case. It's not worse than before but still...he's hopeless but you're still expecting him to change...look at you, you seem so disappointed and sad, I don't like to see you like this, I don't want you to be like this,'' Magnus said with a painful expression.

''He said that everyone was more resentful than me,'' Alec mumbled.

''Yeah...your siblings will be even more resentful than before now, I already am whereas you...,'' he sighed before shaking his head. ''Let's stop talking about him, it's getting on my nerves,'' he angrily added before going in the kitchen.

''You didn't eat ?''

''No.''

''I didn't either...not that much actually.''

Magnus smiled. ''My cooking is more tasty.''

Alec smiled and his phone buzzed. He would call Izzy back after the meal.

*

Izzy had yelled at him for several minutes and Alec had been unable to hang up. She had said as well that he was predictable but she didn't expect him to be this dumb. Since then, he ignored her messages, Jace's ones too, except Max's who had been the only one to not say a single thing about this controversial matter, but only because he was too busy to be a teenager.

It was just as well, like this he wouldn't reveal that he had now an engagement ring. He was pretty sure that he would forget to remove it if he had to see his siblings as he had planned to wait until Magnus had his own ring before telling everyone that they were engaged to be married.

He had to find his ring quickly and fortunately for him Chairman Meow had helped him. There was a time when Magnus was often wearing a ring at his ring finger but he had suddenly stopped to wear it, which had made panic Alec who had expected to find this ring somewhere in his jewelry box.

Let alone Chairman Meow who had a hideout for all his treasures, from which Alec had found the said ring. He had snuggled the tabby cat to thank him, which had made his eyes narrowed in a please way.

Magnus wanted a sapphire surrounded by diamonds, Alec went around to find a ring which looked similar but didn't and had to ask whether it was possible or not to have one like this. In the jewelry store, there was an exemplary which was too flashy and the gemstones were too big. Magnus could wear any rings but he wasn't that fanciful.

Besides, Magnus wanted a white gold, so the entire ring had to be custom-made with the way he wanted. It was expensive but not as much as he had expected and could already imagine Magnus' face when he would get his ring.

His happiness was short-lived, his phone buzzed once again and he feared that it would been his mother who had learned about Robert, following the fact that he was ignoring his siblings who might have decided to get their revenge by telling her everything.

It was Robert, Alec was almost disappointed that it wasn't his mother. He lengthily stared at his phone screen to finally ignored him once again. For now, it was too late. All his hopes had been crushed and he no longer had expectations, not immediately at least.

His father had made him wait for nothing, it was his turn now. Even if it hurt a little.

*

Magnus didn't seem to suspect anything despite knowing that he would get his ring sooner or later. Alec couldn't tell if he was desperately waiting for it or not, but the fact was that he had picked it up several days ago but still hadn't dared to give him the ring.

It was perfect, as he wished, a white gold, a sapphire surrounded by diamonds with, as his own ring, an A and M engraved inside. The ring was beautiful and Magnus' ring finger was asking for it but Alec couldn't. He had thought about doing the same as him and put it on his finger during the night, but even that was too difficult for him.

He had tried so many times to offer him this ring but he suddenly got embarrassed, even by Chairman Meow who was just staring at him, and couldn't. Alec sighed, it wasn't that difficult, Magnus had done the hardest part when he had proposed first and just wanted a ring too. He could have asked Jace and Simon or even Ragnor how they would propose if they had too but it would have been too suspicious.

Maybe it was better to keep things simple, as Magnus did.

His heart skipped a beat when his phone suddenly rang. He suspiciously stared at his screen where appeared Jace's name.

''Yeah ?'' he mumbled.

''Thanks for no longer ignoring me.''

''You're welcome, what's wrong ?'

''I won't talk about Robert, he's not worth it and I don't want to waste my time,'' Jace calmly said. ''Clary has published her first graphic novel, so we have to celebrate.''

Alec blinked, he didn't know she was working on something so challenging. ''Wow.''

''I didn't know either, it was supposed to be a surprise but Simon...well, he has revealed everything to Izzy when he was slightly drunk so she asked me about it and I asked Clary about it and Simon has ruined everything, but it doesn't matter. She's always drawing so I didn't really notice anything if not that her drawings were darker than usual...I think she was scared to not be published, that's why she didn't tell me.''

Alec snorted. ''What is it about ?''

''It's pretty dark actually, a story of shadows hiding inside humans...I'm sure you'll like it, Max too by the way.''

''When does she want to celebrate ?''

''Friday.''

''Tomorrow ?''

''Yeah around 7:00 pm in this Indian restaurant near Max's school. Don't forget your darling.''

''I'm pretty sure that my darling already knows, everyone will be here ?''

''Pretty much.''

''Do we have to bring something to congratulate her ?''

''Just your ass, and Magnus' one.''

Alec rolled his eyes and suddenly straightened up in his chair. ''Hey Jace,'' he shyly began to say. ''How would you propose to Clary if you had to ?''

Jace snorted. ''With a ring,'' he answered straight away as if it was obvious.

''Without telling her anything ?'' Alec asked with a frown who instinctively touched the ring inside his pocket.

Jace didn't add anything. ''Of course I'll prepare something to say about us, what we went through, our future and bla bla bla... Why ?''

''I just wanted to know.''

''Why ?'' Jace insisted again.

''You'd like to marry Clary one day ?'' Alec hastened to ask to divert his attention from him.

Jace cleared his throat. ''Why not,'' he casually answered. ''Not in a near future but one day maybe... Why ?''

''I have a lot of work to do, see you tomorrow,'' he quickly said before hanging up.

And he winced, he had dragged on. Magnus and him had agreed that they wouldn't tell anyone until his got his ring and he couldn't remove his own ring to keep it a secret and have more time. Magnus wouldn't like it and would probably not care about not having a ring for Friday's evening.

Alec did mind, it wasn't okay.

That same evening, he went home determined but feeling incredibly nervous and shy. He jumped when he felt two arms squeezing him and a warm contact into his neck, in front of the door.

''Magnus,'' he hissed while dropping his keys.

The latter snorted and bent to picked them up. ''How was your day ?''

''So-so,'' he mumbled. ''Jace called me to tell me about Clary.''

Magnus nodded and opened the door. ''Yeah, she called me to make sure I'll come, I can't believe she kept that for herself during all this time.''

 _Ring,_ thought Alec. _Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring._ He couldn't think about anything else.

Magnus was telling him something about Catarina or Ragnor, maybe both but he didn't understand, he couldn't focus on his voice. His hand, in his coat's pocket, grabbed the jewelry box with the ring inside. Chairman Meow was now in Magnus' arms, like a jaded and furry baby, and with a huge grin the latter kissed his head, which made the tabby cat purr whereas Alec was idly standing in the entrance, unable to breathe properly.

''How about pizzas tonight ?'' Magnus asked while looking into the fridge.

''Yeah,'' Alec hastened to say before clearing his throat and then tried to take a deep breath. ''Magnus...''

''Hmm ?''

Alec slowly moved closer while Magnus dropped Chairman Meow before looking at him. His yellowish green eyes immediately spotted the black jewel box in his hand and he blankly stared at him before glancing up at his face.

He wished to be able to say something funny or witty for the occasion but his brain couldn't be efficient in these circumstances.

''You already know what's inside,'' he awkwardly stated without daring to look at his face.

''You already have it ?'' he asked with surprise.

Alec awkwardly handed him the small box and when he finally dared to look at him, saw his genuine and wide grin. Magnus delicately took it and slowly opened it. He lengthily stared at the piece of jewelry, looking moved and slightly confused with his bright eyes and his frown.

''Did you sell your soul for this ring ?'' he asked while looking at him with the same smile.

''I just worked hard.''

Magnus snorted. ''She's perfect,'' he murmured before carefully taking her and noticed the engraving.

''Do you want me to put it on your finger ?'' Alec asked.

Magnus immediately gave him back the ring and stretched out his left hand. Alec smiled and slid the sparkly ring around his ring finger. It perfectly and oddly suited him. Alec stepped backwards to have a better look at him which made Magnus frown.

''What about my kiss ?'' he protested after looking at his hand with satisfaction.

Alec moved closer and softly kissed his lips before embracing him.

''Thank you,'' murmured Magnus against his chin when he slid his hands under his shirt.

They stayed in the arms of the other for quite some time and went to sit in the couch, nuzzled against each other.

''You really didn't say anything to Ragnor and Catarina ?''

''No, it'll be a surprise...I'm not sure if it'll be okay to tell them tomorrow, it'll be Clary's celebration not ours.''

Alec proudly stroked his back. ''If they notice something we'll tell them.''

''Since when do you have it ?'' Magnus asked while looking at his hand.

''Several days,'' admitted sheepishly Alec

Magnus snorted. ''I kept yours for several weeks,'' he sighed before kissing his temple.

''Really ?''

''Yeah.''

''Are they engagement rings or wedding rings ?'' Alec asked with worry, wondering if he had to buy another one for the d-day.

''Wedding but for now engagement.''

Strangely, they didn't plan or even really think about what would naturally happen after an engagement. Alec smiled when he saw that Magnus was trying his best to not send a picture of his ring to all his friends.

''Fiancé,'' he murmured. ''I like this word now, it's my first time being engaged,'' he teased with mischief while glancing at him.

Alec frowned. It was the first time in a long time that he mentioned his engagement with Lydia. ''I didn't have a ring.''

Magnus smiled before intertwining their fingers together and dropped a kiss on his hand. ''I wonder how Maryse will react.''

''How do you want her to react ?''

''I'd like her to be happy for you, for once. I stole her baby from her but still...''

Alec snorted when he heard the word baby. ''It's better that before though, between you and her.''

Magnus pensively stared at his leg. ''Oh she knows that I'll do anything for you so yeah but I don't think we'll ever like each other in this life... I'm hungry.''

Alec rose. ''It's my turn to cook,'' he murmured.

''I still didn't see you naked underneath an apron.''

''I don't wear apron.''

''Think about it then,'' Magnus smirked while touching his behind with a big smile.

Alec rolled his eyes and stared at Chairman Meow who had already seen many naughty things, and too much for his own good. However, he wouldn't be against it if Magnus was the one to be naked, it sounded much more appealing.

''Show me first.''

And Magnus did.

*

Hands in his pockets, Alec was determined to not ruined anything with his ring. He stared at Magnus' one, more fancy and more noticeable than his own.

''Maybe we should remove them and put them back later,'' he said with concern.

Magnus closed the door and sighed. ''Alexander... We won't show that we're engaged on purpose, I'm not that insensitive,'' he grumbled.

''Max already bought her book, he loves it but he was surprised that her drawings could be so dark, like the whole story.''

''Don't judge a book by its cover,'' Magnus cheerfully said.

In the elevator, he tried to do his hair and had to give in as his hair didn't want to cooperate.

''What about grooming you with my tongue ?'' he suggested with dismay.

''You already did yesterday,'' mumbled Alec while touching his hair.

Magnus grinned and grabbed his hand, and Alec delicately touched his ring with the thumb. Magnus looked really happy and his smile was contagious.

Izzy brightly smiled at them when she saw them.

''Why are you outside ? No one's here yet ?'' Alec asked.

''Mom called me,'' she growled.

Magnus slightly pressed his hand with a little smile and went inside to greet the others.

''About what ?''

''She wanted to know how I was doing, that's what she said but I'm pretty sure she knows that you saw Robert, she just wanted a hint or something, and don't worry, I didn't tell her.''

''I'm scared to bump into him now,'' he murmured.

''It didn't happen all this time so why now ?''

Alec smiled. She was taller than him with her high heels and he wondered if she wasn't cold with her dress and light coat.

''Forget about him,'' she murmured. ''We all did, I mean we're trying, it's already difficult and you'll only hurt yourself.''

''I know.''

She softly smiled and too his arm. ''Let's go inside.''

Alec followed her, his hands still hidden in his pockets. Simon had cut his hair and Clary looked tired, happy but very tired. Magnus was thoughtfully staring at Jace with a mischievous grin while Catarina and Ragnor were looking at their menus.

''Hey,'' greeted him Jace with a bright smile.

Alec smiled and sat next to Magnus before being suddenly hugged by Catarina on his left.

''Congrats,'' she whispered while Ragnor nodded and smiled,

''Thank you,'' he mumbled which made her chuckle.

''What's going on ?'' suspiciously asked Simon.

Jace snorted when the waitress brought their drinks and Alec was the only one with an orange juice.

''Big baby,'' he mouthed.

''So why didn't you tell anyone ?'' Ragnor asked.

Clary winced. ''I wasn't sure it was that great so...''

''She didn't listen to me,'' sighed Simon.

''But at least you knew,'' Jace mumbled with a glare.

Izzy smirked. ''You must be blind to not see that she was working on something.''

''I'm always drawing and I told him many times that it was just drafts.''

Jace scowled and softened when she sheepishly smiled at him. Under the table, Catarina suddenly grabbed Alec's hand to have a look at his ring. She discreetly gazed at the silver ring with a little smile and left his hand alone, under Magnus' amused eyes.

Nobody else seemed to have noticed the fancy ring at Magnus' ring finger, hidden among the others. They were all used to see his hands covered with jewelry.

Ragnor politely asked Clary how much she would get for her graphic novel. She already got paid for her work, only a part though and would receive the benefits much later.

To eat, Alec had to use both of his hands, which he nervously did. He didn't expect Clary to notice it first. Their eyes met and her gaze lowered on his hand. She stared at his ring before automatically doing the same with Magnus' one. She seemed rather confused as if she was wondering whether it had a meaning or not. Alec shyly smiled and nodded. Clary's eyes widened and she almost squealed. Jace hastened to give her a glass of water, thinking that she had choked on something.

Izzy just had to follow her gaze to finally notice the ring. She didn't react much and just stared at them whereas Magnus didn't notice anything and was talking with Catarina and Ragnor. His sister's eyes were just brighter than usual but her face was impassive.

She cleared her throat. ''Don't you have something to say ?'' she loudly asked.

Alec blinked and avoided her stared focused on him. Magnus stopped talking, they all did to look at her, trying to understand what was going on.

''Alec ?''

''No.''

She frowned. ''What ?''

Magnus rolled his eyes and proudly showed off his hand before waving his ring finger, with a wide grin.

''I have _Single Ladies_ in the head now,'' said Simon. ''Congrats guys.''

Jace was blankly staring at them which made Izzy ask him if he knew what it meant to see Alec with a ring. He glared at her. ''Of course I do,'' he hissed. ''Just...I...uh...''

He seemed pretty confused which made Magnus' grin widened.

''I heard from someone that you said that you would -or rather that Clary would have to- dye your hair pink if Alec ever got married,'' he calmly stated.

Jace frowned. ''I never said that.''

''You did,'' Izzy retorted with a grin as huge as Magnus' one. ''Max was also here.''

''Why did you say that ?'' Clary asked.

''I want to see that,'' Simon added.

They all did.

''We trust you Clary, maybe you can do an ombré or something like that,'' Catarina suggested.

Simon nodded. ''It'll be very pretty.''

Jace was still staring at Alec, dumbfounded. ''You can't get married.''

Magnus sighed. ''You too you're scared that I'll steal him away from you ?'' he sarcastically said.

Alec frowned. ''What ?''

Jace glared at him. ''It's too early for you to...''

''Who moved in with Clary when you were barely dating ?'' Izzy claimed with narrowed eyes.

''Besides it's not too early,'' carefully said Catarina. ''Did you choose a day already or... ?''

''No,'' Magnus said with a frown while staring at Jace.

''I don't mind,'' hastened to say Jace. ''It's just that...,'' he began to mumble without finishing as he was unable to find his words.

''He can't approve because he'll have pink hair,'' suggested Simon.

''You shouldn't have speak so fast,'' Magnus said.

Izzy nodded and leaned it to grab Alec's hand. With a wince, Simon removed the plates and the glasses and sheepishly smiled at Alec who sighed. Izzy pulled the ring from his finger, scratching with her nails his skin which was now red and painful.

Clary rose to have a better look at it and she pinched Izzy's arm when she saw the letters inside. Izzy scoffed and looked up at him, as if she was disgusted by so much romanticism. But she had that gleam in the eyes when she was looking at him and Magnus.

''I want to be your bride-maid, the flower girl or whatever you want,'' she hastened to say.

''Best man !'' hastened to shout Jace while raising his hand.

Catarina, Magnus' ring in hands, stared at him with pleading eyes.

''Of course,'' he said. ''But nothing's planned yet.''

Alec was blankly staring at them, stiffened and worried by what would follow in a near future. He thought back about what Jace had said once, that it was unlikely he had found someone so to even get married...no wonder he had said would dye his hair in pin if it ever happened. He smiled and Magnus pinched his cheek.

Clary was already looking for a place with pink coloration on her phone.

''Or do you want to go to an hairdresser ?'' she asked, as she was inexperienced with dying hair, even if it could be fun.

''I want to be here when you'll do it,'' Izzy said.

Jace scowled and heaved a sigh. ''I can't believe you're getting married,'' he murmured while looking at him.

Alec smiled. ''It's only to see you with your new hairstyle.''

Jace narrowed his eyes. ''Ha ha ha.''

Alec seriously thought that it would suit him, they all did. Magnus softly squeezed his knee under the table and leaned in to whisper something in his ear.

''Did you tell Max ?''

''No, I think Izzy probably did and my battery's dead anyway.''

He had to tell Lydia and his mother as well.

''Clary isn't mad,'' Magnus noted.

''Because she's not self-centered,'' he said while looking at her.

Izzy and her were trying to find the perfect shade of pink for Jace who did his best to ignore them.

Magnus' kiss against his ear became a bite which made him wince, but it wasn't painful and rather pleasurable when his mouth slid below his ear.

Ragnor cleared his throat. ''There's still the dessert.''

''And a hotel across the street,'' Catarina murmured with amusement.

Clary raised her glass with a bright smile. ''To my graphic novel and to you too,'' she said. ''I'm very happy for you.''

Magnus hastened to fill their glasses. ''Cheers !''

Izzy smiled and Alec could tell she was doing her best to hold back her joy, given that her eyes were too bright and that Simon glanced at her to make sure she was okay.

At the end of their diner, Izzy hugged Alec whereas Jace stared at Magnus with narrowed eyes.

''Stealing Alec from me,'' he snorted. ''I'm not Robert.''

''Fortunately,'' Magnus retorted with a wince.

''Did you tell Maryse ?''

''Not yet,'' Alec said.

''Max probably did,'' Izzy said while putting her coat on her shoulders. ''Be strong Magnus.''

''It's all good between her and me,'' Magnus mysteriously said. ''She doesn't like me but she tolerates me. The worst she can do is wincing.''

Clary came back after paying the bill. ''Thank you for coming.''

''Thanks to you,'' Magnus said while taking Alec's hand.

''You make me regret to be single,'' sighed Catarina while shaking her head.

''Not me,'' Ragnor snorted before patting Alec's shoulder with a little smile.

Magnus narrowed his eyes and did a shoo gesture. ''Go away,'' he mouthed.

Clary had to pull Jace by the arm and they walked away, she turned around and waved at them whereas Ragnor and Catarina did the same, and Izzy shook her head.

''Don't worry about him, it's just that he's not used to see things going well for you,'' she murmured.

Magnus scoffed and squeezed Alec's hand. Simon shuddered and stared with worry at her outfit despite the cold.

Alec pretty sure that it was only because he hadn't seen that coming and had been taken aback.

''I'm really happy for you,'' she murmured while staring at Magnus.

''Thank you.''

''So how did you propose ?''

Alec and Magnus glanced at each other.

''I've been more courageous,'' Alec admitted which made Simon snort. ''But Magnus made the first move.''

He wanted to add _in my sleep_ but Magnus intently peered at him.

''It's a secret,'' hastened to say Magnus.

''That you'll only reveal to your children,'' scoffed Simon with an eye roll.

Izzy's eyes shined brighter whereas Magnus and Alec strangely remained silent. The latter stroked the back of his hand with his thumb before squeezing it. Alec suddenly remembered Robert's fear about him not being able to start a family by being gay and absently stared at the ground and Izzy's shoes.

''Good night,'' casually said Izzy before hugging Alec one last time.

Alec squeezed her back and smiled when Simon hugged them.

''You too Magnus,'' he said.

Alec rolled his eyes when he felt his hands on his behind and their eyes met. They were a family and if Magnus ever wanted children, they could still adopt. His throat tightened as he began to venture onto a sensitive topic that he wasn't ready to think about.

The hug could have been longer if Magnus hadn't had enough, which made Izzy scowl. She grabbed Simon by the waist and waved at them before leaving while Alec quietly watched them walking away and stared at Magnus who dropped a kiss on his cheek before taking his hand.

''I still don't know what's Clary's book talking about,'' he realized.

Alec smiled, he intended to buy it the next day so they would know everything soon enough. ''She didn't tell anything to make us buy it.''

''It wasn't that scary.''

''No.''

''Only Jace was weird.''

''Well, it was rather unexpected.''

Magnus chuckled. ''Not that much,'' he fondly murmured.

Alec smiled and let go of his hand to slid his arm around his waist, before slightly squeezing him.

Magnus grinned. ''Me too,'' he murmured against his temple.

*

Lydia had squealed when he had told her on the phone about his ring and had asked for a picture of his ring and Magnus' one.

''And who was scared to break up again or to be homeless ?'' she scoffed. ''Alec,'' she sighed. ''Can you imagine ? I can't believe that...I'm so happy for you ! Say hi to Magnus for me.''

He smiled. ''Thank you.''

''Did Maryse say something ?''

''Not that much, Magnus told me that she had lost all her hopes to see us break up now, that's why she's so....jaded.''

He almost dropped his phone and winced, but he had finally found Clary's book. It was pretty heavy and he quickly flipped though, the story seemed pretty dark but Max had really liked it and was waiting for his opinion, Clary too by the way.

''Lydia ? You've met Robert the other day ?''

She remained quiet and took a deep breath. '' I don't get your point,'' she calmly stated.

''He told me.''

''What do you mean by he told you ? Don't tell me that...oh Alec,'' she sighed.

''Thanks by the way that was very nice of you,'' he said with a slight smile.

Lydia was a very good friend, as Izzy had said.

''I suppose that it didn't go well if you didn't tell me anything about it...''

''Yeah but everyone told me that I was naive...''

''You are and you're too kind for your own good.''

Alec rolled his eyes and went to pay. ''I thought that he would have changed, he didn't but he wanted to see me though so...I kind of told him that I was ready to give him another chance when he would consider to change...''

She heaved a sigh. ''Alec...at least you were firm which is rather good maybe he really missed you.''

''I think he did but he didn't want to admit it.''

''Yeah.''

''Am I predictable ?''

''Yes but that's how you are...,'' she fondly said. ''I have to go, I only have five minutes to eat, I'm so busy and you're engaged and I'm still single and I really hope that if you celebrate or something I'll be able to come.''

''You're already invited,'' he said. ''And you're not dating that guy ?''

''What guy ?''

''The guy you talked about last time.''

''He's just a colleague.''

''Oh.''

She huffed and hung up whereas he was already beginning to read Clary's graphic novel. It was strange and fascinating to see what kind of work she had created while knowing her. One of the main characters looked a lot like Jace and the mafia boss looked a lot like Magnus with all his rings and his eyes. He could recognized some character traits from almost everyone and smiled.

Clary was more imaginative that he had thought to imagine a plot this dark but he liked it, especially the mafia boss who was already his favorite character. He wanted to ask her whether Magnus had inspired her or not but didn't dare and only sent her a message saying that he had liked it.

Maw also found that the mafia boss and Magnus were alike and even said that there was a character like him, Alec hadn't noticed and had to reread the whole thing. And indeed, the mafia boss had an ambiguous relationship with another gang leader. They didn't like each other that much but were always there to help each other to maintain their criminal family business.

Their relationship was pretty unclear but there was something between them. Alec got confused and didn't see why this gang leader and him were alike, besides the tattoos and the fact that he was rather a very nice guy and family-oriented but still a criminal.

Alec didn't want to ask Clary, it was a work straight out from her imagination, he didn't want to distort it even if she had drawn everything upon real facts.

*

He was putting away his books but Chairman Meow wanted to play and often prevented him to grab the books he wanted with his paws. Alec sat down and stroked his belly that the tabby cat was offering before narrowing his eyes in a please way.

''Alexander,'' Magnus murmured with concern before sitting next to him with his laptop that he put on some books. ''We have to find a date for _our civil union_.''

As Maryse had hastened to correct them. ''The word wedding or marriage doesn't apply to you,'' she had said with a huff which had made Magnus clench his teeth and almost snarl at her.

''We can't stay engaged forever,'' he added with a little smile.

''Why not,'' Alec mumbled as it was getting more complicated that planned even though they hadn't really planned anything. He snorted when he saw that Magnus was looking for a place for their honeymoon. ''What about _our civil union_  ?''

''That's part of it,'' Magnus murmured, entirely focused on his screen but when Alec rested his chin on his shoulder, he raised his left hand to stroke his cheek with his forefinger. ''And I know, not too crowded or too warm.''

Alec smiled and Chairman Meow meowed and slightly scratched him to make him carry on his strokes.

''What about Norway ?'' he suggested. ''Or Holland ?''

Currently he couldn't choose anymore as until now Magnus had always let him pick their destination for their birthdays, Christmas and the new year. They already went in Russia, Canada, England, France, South Korea and Czech Republic.

''You can pick a warm country I don't mind,'' he added.

''Spain sounds good then,'' Magnus said. ''What about the dates ?''

''I don't know.''

Magnus hummed. ''We have to make sure than everyone will come.''

''Lydia doesn't care about the date, she said she'd come no matter what.''

Magnus snorted. ''What about Maryse ?'' he casually asked.

''...Same.''

Alec glanced at his face and saw his sullen face, he pinched his belly and dropped a kiss on his shoulder before carrying on what he was doing before stroking Chairman Meow.

He wouldn't mind staying engaged but he didn't mind getting married either, even if he was slightly getting nervous. It wasn't the idea of being married itself but rather people around him -like his siblings- asking him for when, if they needed help to organize everything, which made him this nervous. That could explain why Magnus had decided to keep things simple, which was quite surprising, in order to not make him panic.

Alec knew he wasn't the only one to be stressed out about the whole thing. He glanced at Magnus, still behind him, and smiled when he saw how focus he was on their honeymoon trip. Maybe the word honeymoon couldn't be used either for them, he bitterly thought, thinking back about his mother and what she had said. And yet, she still wanted to be here the D-day.

*

Izzy slowly and carefully put a red lipstick on her lips with a slight frown, under Alec's jaded eyes. He heaved a sigh and glared at Simon who was trying to tie his tie.

''I saw you,'' he said through the mirror.

''Stop being grumpy,'' sighed Izzy.

Alec crossed his arms and glared at them. He had literally been kidnapped or thrown out from the apartment, it depended the point of view, by Izzy who had barged in with Catarina who was currently helping Magnus to get ready. He didn't understand why he couldn't have stayed to get ready with Magnus but him and Izzy had wanted to respect the tradition : the grooms couldn't see each other before the wedding.

He wasn't that grumpy actually but pretty nervous, especially when he saw that Simon and Izzy were already ready when he wasn't. He couldn't use his phone and ask Jace, Max or Magnus how they were doing as Izzy had taken it away.

''Clary said that Jace looks fairy,'' grinned Simon while sitting next to him on the couch.

Alec blinked. ''He really did it ?''

''Clary did,'' corrected Izzy. ''Jace with pink hair,'' she murmured with amusement before looking at them. ''Alec, suit up !''

He rose while rolling his eyes and reluctantly went in their room where his suit was laying on their bed. She had helped him choose it and their mother had given him money for this suit, even if he hadn't needed it, but he had appreciated the symbolic gesture.

He slowly took his clothes off and lengthily stared at the bed, half-naked. He couldn't think, he didn't realize yet how much his life was taking a different turn but at the same time nothing would really change. It was slightly confusing, disturbing but thrilling.

He glanced at his ring and took a deep breath before putting on the black trousers, then the so white pure shirt that he slowly buttoned up without forgetting the sleeves, a belt and the bow tie.

 _I look like a penguin,_ he thought while looking at himself in the huge mirror in front of him. A cute penguin would have certainly said Magnus. The Alec in front of him was frowning with worry and was slightly pale and tired. He ran a hand through his hair but nothing could be done.

His outfit could have been more fancy but he was already not that comfortable with this one and Izzy had nagged at him to choose something more suitable for the occasion.

''Oh Alec,'' Izzy murmured after knocking at the door and tiptoeing on her high-heels.

Embarrassed, Alec hastened to put his jacket on and glanced at her. She was beautiful and he should have been the one to rave about her appearance.

''This is the happiest day of my life,'' she lowly added in order to not be heard by Simon.

''You're not that happy usually ?''

''How do you feel ?''

Alec frowned. ''It's just a suit.''

She rolled her eyes and moved closer to properly straighten his bow tie.

''I can't breath,'' he mumbled while rolling his shoulders.

''I've done nothing yet.''

''And I want to throw up.''

''It's just a wedding,'' she smirked, repeating what he had said earlier. ''Here you go,'' she murmured before taking a deep breath. ''You're making me nervous,'' she added with a frown.

Alec winced, wondering why he had agreed to marry Magnus. He just wanted to put a ring on his ring finger because he had done the same. It was his idea and Alec hadn't minded at all but now he was completely overwhelmed by an avalanche of emotions.

They lengthily stared at each other and Izzy took his hands that she strongly squeezed.

''I can't believe that day is finally happening,'' she squealed.

''Me too,'' he said with a strangled voice.

''Hey,'' Simon said with a knock. ''If we don't hurry we'll be late,'' he added before whistling. ''Magnus will be very happy.''

''I'm not ready,'' Alec protested while stepping backwards.

Simon frowned. ''And to say that you were so calm before,'' he noted as if he had found that very weird.

''Come on, if you were ready this morning it means you're ready now,'' Izzy retorted before making sure that all his outfit was perfect on him.

Simon disappeared and after making sure that he hadn't forget anything -like his ring which was still on his finger- Alec went out from the bedroom, closely followed by Izzy.

''Hold on,'' Simon said with three shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. ''You need one,'' he insisted while looking straight into his eyes.

They emptied their glasses in one go and Alec was the only to ask for another one, his throat was burning but it comforted him and soothed him in a strange way. He thanked Simon with a smile and Izzy let out a relieved sigh before putting the glasses away.

''Perfect, our taxi is here,'' she murmured after looking at her phone. ''Ready ?''

Alec didn't answer, she shook her head, gave him an eye-roll and pulled him by the arm.

''Come on Alec, you wanted to get married.''

''Maybe he's drunk,'' Simon said with a frown.

''I'm not.''

''That's all we need,'' grumbled Izzy while closing the door.

Alec and Simon were literally pushed outside by an Izzy in a hurry. In the taxi, Simon winced when she stabbed his foot with her heel and Alec wondered once again why he couldn't have stayed with Magnus just before the ceremony. Tradition or not he would have been less nervous and more peaceful. Maybe it was the tequila that made him imagine the worst scenarios, like Magnus saying no, a former lover interrupting their _civil union_ or something else.

''How do you feel ?'' asked Simon with a nudge and a bright smile, but he winced when he saw his expression. ''Maybe I should have bring some tequila with us.''

Alec nodded. ''Too bad,'' he murmured before wondering whether Lydia would have some vodka on her and he remembered that she no longer drank alcohol.

Simon stared at him and turned his head to look at Izzy who was on his left. ''Hum, sorry if I'm a buzzkill but there won't be any bad surprise, right ?''

Alec frowned. ''You mean Robert ?''

Izzy lowered a phone and gazed at them. ''Hell no,'' she firmly said. ''Over my dead body, he's not welcome and he knows that,'' she added before intently looking at Alec.

''I didn't tell him anything,'' he protested.

''I hope so...Mom's already here, we don't need him.''

Alec frowned. ''Because she wanted to be here.''

He wanted to added _and she even bought me my wedding suit_ but it would have sounded stupid. Actually his mother had wanted to pay for the whole _civil union,_ the restaurant and everything else but he had refused, not because it was a little embarrassing but because Magnus wouldn't have like it, besides she still didn't like him which had meant that she was willing to try harder but only for Alec, not for Magnus.

He hadn't wanted her to be two-faced, even for him, so he had just accepted the suit.

''And you agreed,'' she stated as if he shouldn't have. ''She doesn't like Magnus and she calls your marriage a civil partnership as if you're not worth to use this word just because you're two men who want to take the next step in their relationship. You're getting married like any other couples, she doesn't seem to get it, even if it's just a civil marriage.''

Simon, stuck between them, tried to shrink away. ''It can only be civil,'' he lowly murmured.

''If she wants to be here today it means that she has accepted my relationship with Magnus,'' he retorted. ''It's been a while by the way if you hadn't noticed.''

''Maryse is rather polite with Magnus,'' Simon noted.

Izzy scoffed. ''Because she knows that if she's a little mean with him Alec won't talk to her anymore,'' she grumbled.

''You don't want her to be here today ?'' Alec softly asked.

''It's your day not mine.''

Simon and Alec exchanged a glance and remained quiet for the rest of the ride. He was no longer stressed out and glanced at his sister who was also looking at him.

''Does that mean that you don't want your mother to go at your own wedding ?'' asked suddenly Simon with a puzzled look.

Izzy didn't answer at first, then she smiled with mischief. ''Do you want her to be here ?''

Alec rolled his eyes, especially when Simon ran a nervous hand in his hair before clearing his throat.

''I wouldn't mind.''

''I would,'' she simply said.

Alec slowly breathed out before lengthily breathing in when he saw that they were almost at the city hall. Luckily, no one was outside, waiting for them, which would have made him want to run away and as fast as he could. He wanted to marry Magnus but it was just too stressful to have a ceremony which would bind them for the rest of their life.

''Where's Jace ?'' sighed Simon while going out from the taxi.

Alec nervously clenched his hands while looking at the huge building while Izzy was paying the driver before closing her glittery purse.

''They could have wait for us outside,'' she scowled with a frown.

''They didn't want to get all the attention on them,'' Alec murmured after noticing people's stare.

They were out of place with their outfits, Izzy didn't seem to mind and was brightly smiling whereas Alec and Simon weren't very used to being stared at.

''Let's go, we have two men to marry,'' she cheerfully said before taking Alec's hand. ''Don't worry, you'll feel better as soon as you see Magnus.''

''And Jace,'' added Simon.

Alec slightly smiled and took a deep breath. _It's just a marriage,_ he thought. Just a paper that will make his life and Magnus' one easier with all the benefits they would be entitled with as man and man. But it wasn't only for that, yet it slightly calmed him down to think about these facts and not the emotional ones. He suddenly felt hot and uncomfortable in his suit, it even worsened when they went inside the city hall.

Even if he had already gone here before with Magnus for some paperwork, which had been more difficult for Magnus as he had to retrieve the English translation of his birth certificate and some other formal requirements, in order to get married, Izzy knew better than him where to go.

It honestly looked like any administrative building and only the comings and goings of the engaged to be married made this place more interesting, as Alec could see in the eyes of an old lady who just came out from the elevator.

''I don't see any pink hair,'' sighed Simon.

''It's upstairs,'' Izzy said with a smile before glancing at Alec and staring at something behind him.

He turned around and saw Maryse, impassive as ever, and Max who was brightly smiling at them, coming towards them. Simon glanced up at their little brother who now taller than him.

''Thanks for coming,'' Alec murmured.

''Are you okay ?'' Max asked.

''He's like that since we've kidnapped him,'' Izzy said while looking at their mother, quietly standing near them.

Coincidentally their dresses were very similar : the same pastel blue and the same cut, but Maryse's high heels were white whereas Izzy's ones were silvery. They looked strangely similar and they already were alike a lot with their appearance. Izzy didn't seem to like this resemblance.

''Thanks for accepting me,'' Maryse only said.

Max and Izzy stared at each other and in one and single movement went in the elevator.

''Today's the big day,'' Simon said to lighten the mood.

Max pushed a button and the doors closed, trapping them in the small space. With a frown, Maryse raised her arms to properly put back  his collar and his bow tie. Izzy rolled her eyes and Alec thanked his mother with a little smile.

''Why I don't have a tie or a bow tie ?'' suddenly asked Max with a frown while looking at Simon and him.

''You're too young,'' Maryse replied.

He scowled and glared at her.

''You're still wearing your ring,'' she noticed as he shouldn't have.

Alec looked down at his hand and immediately touched it. ''Yeah, it doesn't really matter.''

''It does.''

''Who said it wouldn't be a real wedding anyway?'' Izzy dryly said. ''He can do whatever he wants.''

Maryse coldly looked at her. ''I'm not in the mood to argue with you and I'm not here to ruin anything.''

''For once,'' Max mumbled which made Simon's eyes widen.

''Max,'' Alec whispered.

''What's your problem ?'' Maryse loudly asked.

Max ignored her whereas took a deep breath. Alec and Simon exchanged a wince and looked up to see how many floors were left.

''It's not because your marriage was a failure that you have to look lire you're going to a funeral,'' Izzy angrily said.

Alec hadn't noticed that their mother looked more sullen that usual and he found that it was a little mean from his sister to remind her how it had ended with Robert.

''I don't hate Magnus but you can't force me to like him either, I'm not against their union but I'm not for it either, which Alexander seemed perfectly fine with.''

All of them suddenly stared at him and Alec's throat tightened. He wasn't fine with it but he had to admit that her indifference was better than hatred towards Magnus. There had now a balance which was suitable for Magnus who didn't mind at all. If he was fine with this situation, Alec was as well.

''We're here,'' said Max.

Simon let out a relief sigh and took his phone out from his pocket, ready to take a lot of pictures of Jace. Alec finally smiled, and politely let them step outside first while Maryse was doing the same.

''I know that you saw your father,'' she whispered. ''And don't worry, he won't come.''

''I'm not worried.''

She smirked. ''Not about him then...anyway he won't have the courage to do so.''

''Max told you ?'' he said while holding the elevator's doors.

''No, he called me but let's not talk about him today,'' she hastened to say.

''Thanks for coming,'' he said again stepping outside from the elevator this time.

''Thanks for accepting me,'' she also repeated. ''Maybe it's shameless from me but I wouldn't have missed this day, and whether Izzy likes it or not I'll also be here for her wedding, for all of yours.''

Alec looked up and wondered where Izzy, Max and Simon had gone.

''Over there,'' Maryse said with her hand. ''And I perfectly know that you're getting married and not civilly partnered, it's just... it's almost the same.''

Alec frowned. ''Not really, there're more benefits to get married than to be in a civil partnership...and you're just confused because we won't celebrate like a real wedding and because for you it's a profanation for us to get married.''

''I'm not your father,'' she snarled without denying his words. ''And I don't mind you being gay, you perfectly know that.''

She just minded Magnus, the fact that they'll be now related by law and it seemed that she was pretty afraid to see them start a family with this first step. She then gently pressed his arm in order to make peace with the sound of her high heels disturbing the silence surrounding them. They reached a huge room where in the middle where standing everyone animatedly speaking.

Maryse's eyes widened when she saw Jace with his pink hair. ''He always does everything to get noticed,'' she murmured whereas Simon and Max where taking a lot of pictures of him.

Clary had done a pretty good job with different shades of pink on his blond hair. Jace still looked amazing in his suit, as any of them. Clary was wearing a long green dress, slightly shimmering, Lydia and Catarina had kept it simple with dresses he had already seen, Ragnor was covered with glitter but not as much as Magnus, who had just noticed him.

He brightly grinned and strode towards him. Alec could no longer breath and it wasn't because Magnus was astonishingly beautiful. He was soberly dressed and yet it was sophisticated and stylish, just like their marriage : simple but not too simple. He could see that he was only wearing his ring with the sapphire surrounded by diamonds, his usual black nail-polish and a subtle golden make-up on the face.

He was gorgeous and Alec dumbly stared at him without reacting when he got kissed. He suddenly felt better, wrapped by Magnus' smell, the warmth of his hands and by what his eyes were seeing.

''I thought you had run away,'' Magnus murmured with an other kiss.

''It would have been fun,'' Maryse said to let him know that she was also here.

''Lovely to see you,'' he simply said without glancing at her.

''Likewise.''

Lydia suddenly appeared next to him, with a bright smile, ready to hug him. ''Alec, you're so handsome !''

Alec smiled and hugged her. ''You told me that you'd be late.''

''Fortunately, I'm not.''

Then, he had to hug Catarina, Clary, Ragnor and Jace who looked rather fine for someone who had lost a bet. Ragnor couldn't help laughing each time his eye fell on him, and was almost crying, which earned him a glare from the later.

''Simon sent me a lot of pictures,'' murmured Magnus against his ear before taking his left hand.

Alec smiled and stared at Jace who was still glaring at Ragnor. ''It looks good on him.''

Jace huffed and glanced at him with a sullen look. ''It shouldn't look good on me.''

''I did a pretty a good job,'' Clary said while touching his hair. ''It was fun.''

Max took a last picture that he immediately showed to Ragnor and Simon, whereas Izzy were lowly talking with Maryse. Catarina and Lydia were commenting the paintings in the ceiling, while Magnus was looking at his phone.

''Almost time, ready ?''

''Yeah,'' he answered with a strangled voice.

Magnus chuckled. ''Relax.''

''You're not nervous ?''

''I am.''

Alec frowned. ''Really ?''

''I calmed down as soon as I saw you.''

Alec squeezed his hand, which made him wince.

''I know,'' Magnus fondly murmured. ''That's why a lot of people don't get married, it's pretty scary.''

''Or because they didn't find their soulmate,'' Catarina said.

''I can't believe I'm getting married,'' Alec whispered for himself.

Magnus rolled his eyes. ''I didn't know that being bind to me for the rest of your life sounded that scary,'' he teased.

''I do,'' said Jace.

''It does in a way,'' Alec sheepishly added.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. ''Don't say no when the time comes.''

''I won't.''

''Take a deep breath, you just have to say yes and sign some papers.''

It sounded similar to a certain situation years ago. Magnus lengthily kissed his cheek and murmured soothing words until the city clerk came to get them.

Catarina sniffed the whole time and when Alec discreetly turned around he could see that she was hiding behind a tissue. Strangely, Izzy and Lydia's eyes seemed rather brighter than usual and they were tightly holding hands. Max and Simon had decided to be the photographers for the day, and Jace glared at them when they tried to take his picture once again with Clary. Only Maryse seemed impassive as ever and was just behind them, as to make sure that everything went well.

And it did. There were now husband and husband, Alec could no longer used the term boyfriend and was now a married man. He didn't feel any different and had to admit that it wasn't that scary all in all. As soon as he had signed with his name -which was now longer with Magnus' family name- the latter grabbed him by his collar to crush their lips together.

Alec snorted and kissed him back with the same fervor, to the applause of the others. Jace whistled and Catarina hugged them, interrupting their kiss.

''Did you just cry ?'' Magnus asked when he saw her face, before taking her in his arms. ''There, there, I'm a married man now you know.''

Ragnor widely grinned and hugged Alec. ''Take care of him, even if you do that for a while now.''

Alec smiled and got stuck between his siblings who hugged him pretty tightly. Max sighed and rolled his eyes when Izzy began to cry while muttering words which made no sense, Jace tried to translate but gave up to hug him even more tightly.

''I can't believe you got married.''

''Hence your hair,'' he retorted with a smile.

After Clary and Simon's congratulation hug, Lydia did the same.

''I'm so happy for you, and to say that it's my first wedding.'' she quickly mumbled.

Alec hugged her even more tightly. ''I'm glad you're here.''

''Yeah me too I'm glad to be here, I would have never know how great would look Jace with his pink hair.''

Alec's eyes widened when he saw his mother embrace Magnus who looked rather surprised but he hugged her back with a puzzled look. Then, she suddenly let him go as if it had been too much for her to hug him any longer, but Magnus looked incredibly happy.

Lydia shyly went towards him to congratulate him as well whereas Maryse was coming to him.

''It's done,'' she said, standing in front of him.

''Yeah.''

He wondered with confusion since when he hadn't been hug by her. It wasn't that weird and foreign, just more unusual, confusing, comforting and nostalgic, but not unpleasant.

''I hope there won't be an end like mine,'' she softly added against his ear.

He nodded and met Magnus' eye, who was standing next to them, politely waiting for them to end their congratulation session with an unusual hug.

''Who's next now ?'' Ragnor seriously asked.

Max raised his hand with a grin and Maryse released Alec who immediately got embraced by Magnus. He was pretty sure that everyone had breathed in a lot of glitter when they had hugged the latter.

''How do you feel Mr Lightwood-Bane ?'' Magnus casually asked.

''Mr Lightwood-Bane has never hugged so many people in his whole life so he's pretty stunned.''

''It wasn't that scary, isn't it ? He still got worried a lot and for nothing,'' Magnus murmured while thoughtfully stroking his cheek to remove some glitter.

''And what about Mr Bane-Lightwood ?''

His grin widened. ''Mr Bane-Lightwood is a very happy man and he didn't expect to be hugged by his mother-in-law.''

Alec snorted. ''Anything can happen.''

Magnus leaned in to lightly kiss his upper lip, Alec was the one to deepen it when he slid his arms around his waist to press his body against his while devouring his lips.

''You make me happy Alexander,'' he murmured with a little smile before bumping his forehead against his.

Alec stared at him, unable to say something. Magnus was always more expressive and still managed to embarrass him whenever he could.

 _You make me happy too,_ he thought while squeezing his hand.

The city clerk took all of them in picture where they were all widely smiling, except Maryse with her polite smile which barely curved her lips. It was still a smile nevertheless. Jace swore to shave his head as soon as this wedding would end. They all agreed a Jace with pink hair was far better than a Jace without any hair. Ragnor, once again, almost cried from laughing.

They quickly left right after as they weren't the only ones who needed to get married. The could see the bride and her future husband in front of the city hall, taking pictures with their family and friends. Maryse tried to remove the glitter on her dress and Catarina kindly helped her after glancing at Magnus with a smile.

Clary discreetly took Jace's picture with her phone for a drawing and Alec had to admit that he was very photogenic, even with his sullen face. Then, she showed him all the pictures she had of him and he discovered with surprise that not only she had a lot of Jace with his pink hair but that Simon and Max weren't the only ones who had taken pictures of Magnus and him.

They were always standing close to each other, one of them was always looking at the other and never at the same time, which seemed pretty funny as in one of the pictures Catarina was trying to not smile while looking at Magnus who was staring at him talking with Lydia. All of the pictures showed the love they had for each other and he frowned when he noticed how much pictures of him and Magnus kissing she had taken.

''I need models for my drawings,'' she sheepishly murmured.

Alec didn't mind, he just didn't remembered them kissing this much. ''Can you send them to me ?''

''I already did.''

Alec thanked her with a smile and looked up to see where Izzy was to get back his phone. He didn't know that he wasn't the only one who had asked for these precious pictures. Standing back from them, Maryse looked at her phone impassively.

In the restaurant where the celebration carried on, Alec insisted to sit next to his mother as he had noticed that she was purposely standing back to not involved herself with them, as if she was out of place. Max smiled and looked back at Simon who was talking about his next concert in another town. Izzy took the opportunity to tell them the misadventures she had had to live when she had decided to follow him once, leaving momentarily her job as a CEO.

''I suppose that you'll have a honeymoon trip or something like that ?'' Maryse asked him.

Alec blinked. ''Not right now but in two weeks.''

''In Spain,'' Magnus added while leaning in and touching Alec's knee under the table.

''How long ?''

''One week.''

Maryse nodded and stayed quiet until Clary politely decided to talk to her, which automatically involved Jace to whom Maryse said that his hair was very ugly. Ragnor this time cried from laughing which made Catarina roll her eyes.

''It suits him.''

Jace glared at him and Maryse's lips curved into a little smile. Max took the opportunity to ask if he would still be the one to take care of Chairman Meow when they would leave for their honeymoon.

Magnus snorted. ''Of course,'' he said while glancing at Simon.

Unlike Simon, Max had never fattened up the tabby cat and had always stayed to play with him, but Maryse hadn't really liked the fact that he was used as a nanny for a cat and that he stayed at their place the whole time, whereas Max was pretty happy to live at their place when they left for another country, he had a place for himself, could eat whatever he wanted, could play with a cat and read Alec's books.

He was now officially Chairman Meow's nanny.

Ragnor asked what they intended to do in Spain and Catarina took her phone to search some information to make sure that everything was fine. Alec smiled and listened to Magnus' answers before glancing at his mother, her phone in hands.

Someone was calling her and Alec could read his father's name. Their eyes met and Maryse sighed.

''I need to pick up.''

Alec stared at her, without reacting and followed her with his eyes when she left the table. She had told him that they had talked before not that they were still in touch. She disappeared from his sight and met Max's eye who raised his eyebrows. He shrugged and grabbed his glass of juice, which made Magnus fondly smile.

She quickly came back and sat down as if nothing never happened.

''What did he want ?'' he whispered.

''He just wanted to know how it went,'' she answered.

''What did you say ?''

''The pictures speak for themselves...don't wait for him,'' she murmured. ''It's his turn now to wait for us. He's no longer with his bitch,'' she casually added. ''It's strange that he's no longer with her now that we got divorced whereas he cheated on me all this time.''

''He hasn't changed much.''

''He did but it's not enough,'' she said before frowning when she noticed that Magnus had heard everything.

''Sometimes you need to let go, it's the same with him, you're still expecting something that will never happen,'' he calmly stated.

Maryse didn't say anything and quietly sipped her glass of wine.

''Even today he's haunting us,'' Magnus grumbled while holding Alec's hand and making his ring twirl.

Alec rested his chin on his shoulder. ''Sorry.''

''It's okay I'm used to it.''

Alec snorted and kissed his neck. ''I'm sure there's be a ton of glitter on the floor.''

''It won't be because of me, Chairman Meow loves glitter too. Do you want to go back ?''

''Not yet.''

Magnus smiled against his forehead. ''You do, otherwise you wouldn't be so cuddly.''

Alec straightened up with narrowed eyes and had to admit that he was right, Magnus' grin widened and he stroked his hand with his thumb. His phone buzzed may times but he didn't seem to mind, Alec assumed that it was all his friends congratulating him for today.

He didn't really want to go back home yet and he had something to say to him. It wasn't a speech, he wasn't that good with words about love and related to that unlike Magnus who always had a letter or a speech to write or to say for a birthday, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's day. Alec was still not as expressive as him with his feelings and he knew that for a day like this one it had to change. But not in front of everyone, later, when they would be by themselves. And when he would have prepared what he felt the need to say.

Izzy brightly smiled at them after stealing a piece of Max's cake who hadn't noticed anything, busy as he was to argue with Jace about his girlfriend.

Ragnor poured more wine into their glasses, even those for water, and raised his overflowing glass which made them frown and wonder if he was drunk.

''To Magnus and Alec who have decided to crystallize their love for each other, I hope you'll be happy...''

''Of course they'll be, they won't pay as much taxes as before now,'' Jace interrupted him with common sense.

''Right we didn't get married in the name of love but only for financial reasons,'' Magnus seriously retorted whereas Ragnor rolled his eyes.

''So,'' he carried on. ''As I said I hope that you'll be happy, you already are obviously but it'd be nice to see that it'll stay that way.''

''Besides Magnus said that he'd never get married,'' Catarina added with a huge grin. ''It's nice to see people change sometimes.''

Magnus thanked her with a grin and a wink.

That day hadn't been that scary finally, stressful yes, nerve-cracking yes, exceptional yes, but also normal, comforting, loving, full of happiness and pretty satisfying. Alec was a happy man who never had thought that he would get married one day, like what anything could happen.

They went back late, very late after partying somewhere, without Maryse and Max who had decided to go back earlier -given Max's age as well-. Alec sighed with relief when he wallowed in the couch, light headed. He snorted when he remembered how drunk Lydia and Izzy had been. They had decided to sing while hugging each other and had forced Clary and Catarina to join their little glee club.

''I'm not drunk,'' he murmured when Magnus came nearer.

He already had taken off his jacket and his hair were now disheveled, he looked tired, tired but happy with his wide grin.

''Tipsy I'd say,'' he corrected while pinching his nose.

Chairman Meow meowed and gleefully run towards Magnus for some strokes. Alec moved his legs to let him sit and watched him pet the tabby cat. He absently looked at his profile and didn't notice that Magnus was staring at him with a little smile.

''Either you're really tired, either you drank more drinks than I thought.''

Alec hadn't drink that much actually unlike him who had played an alcohol game with Ragnor, Jace and Simon, who had sung his papaya song. Then, Izzy had joined him with Clary whereas Lydia and Catarina who didn't know the lyrics had tried to make them up.

He didn't remember what he did the whole time, probably just watching over them.

Magnus grabbed his knee and suddenly leaned in to kiss him. Alec chuckled when his lips tickled his neck and let him take his bow tie off. He stretched out his hand and did the same with his before beginning to open his shirt and his waistcoat. Magnus snorted and undressed.

''So...our wedding night just began ?'' Alec asked.

''You're so perceptive,'' Magnus teased with a crook smile.

''I know.''

And he straightened up to remove his shirt that Magnus hastened to take away from him to throw it somewhere in the living room. Now that his hands were free, Alec put them on Magnus' body, pulling him towards him. With a wince, Magnus lay on top of him while making sure to not crush him under his body with his arms.

The couch wasn't very comfortable and they couldn't really move as they would like but it didn't prevent them to touch each other to satiate their thirst. Alec frowned when he couldn't slid his hands inside his pants and let out a groan while Magnus was, as usual, kissing all of his tattoos.

''Raise your hips,'' he suddenly asked against his skin.

Alec did and after removing his belt, pulled his pants and did the same with his.

''It would have been more romantic with a fireplace,'' he added before kissing his hip.

Alec snorted and grabbed his face to properly kiss him before sliding an arm around his waist to maintain him on him. He just had noted how unusually sweet and gentle Magnus was, not that he wasn't generally, but there were always teeth and some wildness involved most of the time.

He smiled when he showered his face with light kisses before pinching his behind, which made him roll his hips. Then his neck got bitten or strongly kiss, he didn't know and closed his eyes while squeezing him harder.

There was no handcuffs or ties involved this time, nor a condom when they quickly reached the bedroom to fall on the floor. Magnus had trouble to open the drawer of the bedside table to take the lube while kissing Alec who finally managed to take his underwear off.

He winced when Magnus scratched him to do the same with his and especially when his back and tailbone began to hurt against the floor. Alec stifled a groan against his shoulder when he entered him and slowly breathed in while Magnus hastened to kiss his neck, shoulder and collarbone without moving.

Then, Alec softly bit his flesh before sucking to mark him and pressed his hands against his behind to make him move. Magnus smiled against his forehead and began to slowly roll his hips.

''By the way,'' Alec murmured against his ear. ''Before I forget to tell you, today was a great idea,'' he said before kissing his jaw, his chin and his lips that he nibbled.

When Magnus saw him wince, he slid his hands underneath his back to soothe the pain caused by the contact with the floor. Alec held into him like a koala which made him chuckle before taking him in his arm to lie him down on the bed. Alec's eyes widened, surprised that he had managed to carry him.

''It's better now,'' he murmured when he trusted harder into him and squeezed his manhood while stroking the tip.

Magnus snorted and kissed his chin, brushing it with his tongue and his teeth. ''I often have great ideas,'' he breathed out against his neck. ''Now I'm entirely yours so you have to take care of me.''

Alec captured his lips to stifle his groan and grabbed his lower lips between his. He wanted to say that Magnus had been his, way before that wedding but was too embarrassed and only mutter an awkward ''I'll try'' whereas he was already taking care of him for a while now.

He couldn't focus on what to say anyway as he began to be carried away by pleasure, Magnus' warmth and love.

Exhausted and sweaty, he smiled when Magnus wiped his body and especially the spot where he had come.

''A shower would have been better,'' he murmured against his pillow when Magnus kissed his back.

But he was too lazy to do so and Magnus perfectly knew it. He snorted. ''I could have carried you.''

''No it's okay.''

Magnus lay down next to him and nuzzled against him contentedly while embracing him. Alec gazed at him and slightly straightened up to be able to kiss him. Magnus lazily opened an eye and leaned his face forwards for more before kissing him like a suckerfish.

Wrapped by a comfortable silence, Alec began to doze off under Magnus' affectionate strokes on his skin, and opened his eyes when he moved.

''We only have lived one third of our existence and by far it has been much more interesting with you...I really want to know how it'll be later...,'' he murmured thoughtfully.

''We'll be old, all wrinkly with walking sticks.''

Magnus snorted. ''Alexander,'' he sighed before dropping a kiss against his shoulder. ''We'll go for a lot of walks with our walking sticks then...but I'll be older than you so you'll have to hold my hand otherwise I'll fall.''

''You'll have to hold mine too then.''

''I'll never let go of your hand if that's what's worrying you,'' Magnus mumbled against his skin.

Alec stroked his belly with a light gesture, beginning to fall asleep but he was widely smiling.

''Maybe we'll even be grandparents,'' Magnus added.

Alec frowned. ''Grandparents ?''

He suddenly wondered if Magnus hadn't hidden some important facts which would lead him to be a grandpa later.

''We never know maybe we'll adopt someday.''

''Yeah maybe,'' could only mutter Alec with confusion. ''You...you want to have children ?''

Magnus lifted his head. ''Well, I never thought that I'll be married so why not ? I even surprise myself but there's time to think about it, plenty of time.''

Alec slowly breathed out. ''Yeah for now you already keep me quite busy with Chairman Meow.''

Magnus snorted and rested again his head against his shoulder. ''It's true but if it ever happens you could add some stars around the Sun and the Moon.''

Clearly, he had carefully thought about it. Magnus wanted to have children obviously and it didn't sound bad, it was rather tempting for later. It didn't seem strange that Magnus who hadn't had a family per se was more willing to start one, he clearly had said to him after his proposal that they already were a family and that they didn't really need to be married to officially be one. It was just a personal need, to feel more complete and to probably soothe the feeling of what he never had had.

Alec smiled. ''Why not,'' he carefully murmured before yawning.

Then he felt Magnus' lips against his.

''Thanks for marrying me.''

''You're welcome,'' Alec whispered before feeling his lips on his chin this time. ''I wouldn't have if I didn't love you.''

''Lucky me,'' snorted Magnus. ''I love you too by the way.''

''I know,'' he murmured with a small grin.

''I know that you know but it's nice to say it again.''

Alec smiled, let him nuzzle more comfortably against him, dropped a kiss on his forehead and squeezed him harder against him before soundly falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading everything ! *high five+a hug*
> 
> So as you can see I've wrote a little sequel from Alec's POV, I had planned to write this bonus bonus from Magnus' POV too but I kind of forgot and just went with the flow !  
> Chapter 16 ended with a hopeful note with Robert, but I think that sometimes people can't change, it's a difficult process but maybe he'll question himself and apologize someday, who knows !  
> Thank you for reading everything again and for your comments ! I thought nobody would read the bonus at first -which is understandable- and I'm really glad that you did, so thank you again and again !  
> Now this story is definitely complete which is very satisfying (despite its imperfections), I feel so much better with these 4 more chapters ! ^^
> 
> If you feel like reading it, I'm writing an other story (because Malec forever): [Blue, Yellow and Green were our little cars](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7831147/chapters/17876686)
> 
> I also have two other stories in mind -an AU and a Shadowhunterish AU- that I hope to be able to write as well, I just need time and motivation, otherwise they'll stay nice and warm inside my head ^^
> 
> Thank you again for everything ! 
> 
> xoxo


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